#absolutely bonkers. need to do more rat king runs

[hi-crawler]

one phase of rat king damage

we got to the k on taniks

[motleyfuckingcruee]

Rocket Queen

0.6: Late Night Conversations

Henley's P.O.V

It's about an hour later after me and Duff had the conversation in the bathroom. Duff ordered the Chinese food so now we're eating it and watching some stupid movie on TV. I sigh, looking at the clock. It's only one in the morning. Fuck, how am I gonna make it home before my parents notice I'm gone? There's only one obvious answer. I can't. Unless I know for a fact that Hyde won't rat me out for being a minor in a bar, I'm stuck here with the blonde I barely know.

And where the hell is Madeline?

"What's goin' through your head?" Duff asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

I look over at him, then back down at my container of sweet n' sour chicken. "How do you know I'm thinking anything? I could just be enjoying my food."

Duff laughs, setting his container on the coffee table. "You have to be thinking of something. I doubt you're just sitting there not having one thought. That's, like, impossible."

I sigh, laughing a bit. He had me there. "You got me." I set my container on the table as well, losing my appetite almost completely. "I-uh-was just thinking about how I'm going to get home before my parents notice that I'm missing. They'll go bonkers if I'm not in my bed in the morning."

"You could just call them and tell them Madeline had an emergency so the both of you went to her place."

I smile at him. He has this hopeful look in his eyes as if he really wants to help. God he's so adorable.

I mentally groan at that thought. I just met the dude! Get that shit out of your head.

"You came up with that pretty quick."

He smiles, puffing out his chest. "I am the king of excuses," He says proudly.

I giggle, rolling my eyes. Damn, I haven't laughed and smiled this much since before Tommy left. "I'll call you up next time I need help with that."

"So, you still live with your parents, huh?"

"What do you mean still? I am only sixteen, y'know?" Did he seriously forget I told him how old I was not even a few hours ago.

Duff's eyes widen. "There's no fucking way."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"I just mean, you act older. I would've thought you were at least eighteen," He explains, taking a swig from the beer that was sitting on the table.

I really hope that's a new one and not a bottle that has just been sitting there for days. It's obvious he doesn't clean often. I cringe watching him drink it.

"What?" He asks. He looks genuinely confused as to why I was looking at him like I am.

I almost laugh at his look. I, however, manage to keep a straight face. "Please tell me it's a new bottle."

Duff looks down at his drink, laughing as he fully processes my statement. "Oh my God, Henley. You're seriously worrying about how old my drink is?"

I shrug, looking down. I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Duff's laughter dies down after I stay quiet for a while. I know it's stupid to feel embarrassed like I am, but I can't help it. I don't like it when people laugh at me.

"Henley," Duff says, his laughter still working it's way out of his system. I don't say anything. "Hey," Duff says, his voice quiet and soft. I look up at him, shocked at how his voice changed in a second. "Did I say something wrong?"

I feel my heart drop. He thinks he did something wrong. In reality, I'm just an oversensitive ass. It's amazing how my "Bad ass aura"-as Madeline would call it-disappears as soon as I'm alone with someone I'm comfortable with. I become overly sensitive with everything. I'm like that with Athena, Tommy, and Madeline. And now, apparently, Duff. Fuck, he's broken down the walls I put up within just a few hours. What the hell is wrong with me?

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. I'm just sensitive sometimes."

Duff's face is once again full of disbelief. Damn, do I really surprise him that much?

"What?" I ask, feeling shy with his eyes on me.

He just shrugs, shaking his head. "I just find it hard to believe that the Henley is sensitive. You're one badass chick."

I laugh at his use of the word 'chick'. "You say that as if I'm some notorious girl that has a reputation."

"You kinda do," Duff responds. I furrow my eyebrows. What the hell is that supposed to mean? "Anyways, you never answered my original question."

"Huh?" Then it clicks in my brain. I never did answer his question. Fuck, I don't remember what it was.

"Uhm, what was it again?"

"What were you thinking about before we started this odd conversation," Duff laughs.

"Oh, right," I respond, looking at the TV for a moment. I turn my head to Duff, feeling a smile spread onto my lips. He's so fucking cute. His smile is absolutely adorable. It's different than other people's. I can't really explain it. He's different than other guys I've met. Yes, he did try to kiss me, but he backed off as soon as I pushed him away. He didn't try anything else and he's kept his distance. "I was just thinking about Madeline. Will she be alright with Steven?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Duff answers, taking a swig from that same bottle. "She's a big girl. She can handle herself."

I sigh, leaning back against the couch cushions. "I know, it's just that she tends to not think things through. She gets herself into a shit ton of trouble all because she can't keep her mouth shut."

Duff laughs. "Sounds like someone else I know."

I blush, looking down at my lap. God, his laugh is like music to me. "I usually do a good job at shutting up. I was just a bit tipsy. If I get any amount of alcohol in my system, I can't shut up." The fight definitely sobered me up quick.

"Looks like I'll just have to keep my eye on you from now on," Duff says, nudging my thigh with his foot.

I laugh, looking back up at him. "You think we're still going to hang out after all this?"

"Of course we are. You're stuck with me now," Duff answers, giving me a heart melting smile. Fuck me, he's too good at making me feel.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," I say, deciding to be a little flirty. What could it hurt?

Duff shakes his head, running a hand through his gorgeous blonde hair. "It can be sometimes."

"I can't see how. From what I've seen of you since I met you, you're one awesome person to be around. Steven seems pretty cool too," I say, grinning at him.

"Yeah he is, but I can be-."

He's cut off by a sharp knocking at the front door. Duff groans, reluctantly getting off of the couch. He walks over to the door, opening it with a certain amount of sass. I giggle at him as he places his hand on his hip, jutting his hip out like a girl would. He looks back at me and winks. He's such a dork.

All of a sudden a ball of blonde hair pushes past Duff, toting a smaller dark haired person behind him. I grin as Madeline nearly falls from how Steven is pulling her.

"Stevie slow down!" Madeline yells, looking disheveled.

I take it those two had one hell of a night.

Steven laughs, pulling her into his arms. He kisses the top of her head. She grins, wrapping her arms around his waist. I smile at them. They really like each other. I guess I will be seeing more of Duff after all since Madeline will probably be hanging around Steven a lot.

"Aren't you two just adorable," Duff teases, sitting down next to me again. He's closer to me this time.

Just scoot over a little bit more.

I shake my head, trying to clear that thought from my mind. I focus my attention on the new couple in front of me.

Steven flips Duff off, giving one of his signature Steven smiles. "We're heading to bed."

Madeline and Stevie walk down the hallway without another word. "Don't have too much fun, kids!" Duff yells at them.

He's answered with a door slamming.

I giggle. "So I take it you and Steven live together?"

Duff lets out a mock sad sigh. "Yeah. He's such a pain in the ass."

I shake my head, laughing slightly. I yawn, looking at the clock again. Two o'clock in the morning.

"You tired?" Duff asks.

I try to shake my head 'no', but then my body decides to let out another yawn.

"I'll take that as a yes," He laughs, standing up. "Come on."

I get up, walking behind him. I'm way too tired to argue. Duff leads me into a bare room. The most he has is more records and a mattress laying in the floor. Duff walks over to the dresser that I somehow didn't notice, and pulls out some boxers and a shirt. He hands it to me.

"Here," He says. "I'm sure you don't wanna sleep in those clothes."

I smile, looking down at my feet. "Thank you." I walk over to the bed. "Could you at least turn around?" I turn to see a blushing Duff.

"O-Oh, yeah, right," He says rather flustered. He turns around, his head bent down.

I giggle, then change as fast as I can. "Alright, I'm done."

Duff turns around, a smile on his face. "Okay, well, I'll be on the couch if you need me."

"What? No," I say. "This is your bed. I can sleep on the couch."

Duff rubs his eyes. "I'm too tired too argue. Can we just share the bed? If that's okay with you?"

I nod, already climbing under the covers. I turn to face the wall. I feel the bed dip beside me as Duff gets in.

"Goodnight, Henley," He says almost in a whisper.

"Night Duff."

TAGS:

All fics: @the--blackdahlia @sugar-content @sharon6713 @siliwanoel @charlyallise @lo-bells @lauravic @livingdeadharley @kawennote09 @ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @hllywdwhre @abbysdogcollar @nikkisixxwiththebass @waywardprincess666 @tommyleeownsme 

@rock-n-roll-soul-frankie @unholy-brat @eak1996 @madsthegroupie @sinningsixx @kissyourrosegoodbyemotley

Duff: @daisystuffsstuff

[wavenetinfo]

Every Friday, artists drop anticipated albums, surprise singles, and hyped collaborations. As part of New Music Friday, EW’s music team chooses some of the essential new tunes. From Foo Fighters’ raucous return to Fifth Harmony’s first post-Camila single, here are the week’s most noteworthy releases.

Foo Fighters, “Run”

The latest single from Dave Grohl & Co. is unadulterated alt-rock radio goodness, fusing the sweeping arpeggios of 2007’s “The Pretender” with the breakneck thrash of 2011’s “Rope.” The Foos might’ve dressed up as old folks for the song’s music video, but that’s only because on record they sound as youthfully vital as ever. —Eric Renner Brown

Fifth Harmony ft. Gucci Mane, “Down”

The first Fifth Harmony single since Camila Cabello’s 2016 departure features a bouncing beat, polished vocals, and an unlikely assist from Atlanta trap king Gucci Mane. Best of all, the unexpected union totally works. —E.R.B.

Lorde, “Perfect Places”

For the closer from her upcoming second album Melodrama, due June 16, the New Zealand pop sensation turned to “Green Light” collaborators Jack Antonoff and Frank Dukes once again, as well as Miike Snow frontman Andrew Wyatt. The resulting cut is — you guessed it — another blast of anthemic arena-pop girded by vibrant synths and stomping percussion. —E.R.B.

Arcade Fire, “Everything Now”

The wait for new music from the Canadian indie-rockers has been long — outside of their January collaboration with Mavis Staples, they’ve stayed largely quiet since their absolutely bonkers 2013 double LP Reflektor. But they rewarded patient fans Thursday with the announcement of their fifth album, Everything Now, and the release of its slow-rolling title track. Queue this up and hit the road — this is highway music at its finest. —Madison Vain

Bleachers, “Gone Now”

In recent years, Jack Antonoff’s name has been associated with superstar collaborators like Lorde and Taylor Swift — but Bleachers’ second album, an anthemic collection built around the ideas of loss and moving forward, proves the musician’s just as impressive as a frontman as he is behind the scenes. With songs that range from jazzy to full-on pop, the set is a cohesive but varied compilation of sounds tied together by Antonoff’s dance-worthy brand of catharsis. —Ariana Bacle

Radiohead, “I Promise”

OKNOTOK, the forthcoming 20th-anniversary reissue of Radiohead’s seminal OK Computer, will contain three previously unreleased tracks. Friday, the British alt-rockers shared one of them, “I Promise,” and a music video to go along with it. The cut is peak ’90s Radiohead, with a rat-a-tat, military-issue drum beat and solemnly strummed guitars that evoke “Fake Plastic Trees.” —E.R.B.

Halsey, “hopeless fountain kingdom”

Since breaking big in 2015 with her lo-fi debut, Badlands, Halsey has sung on the Chainsmokers massive hit “Closer,” duetted with Justin Bieber, and, along with playing massive festivals like Coachella, sold out Madison Square Garden. Now, she’s returned with her arena-sized second LP. “Badlands was this kind of DIY record,” she told EW last month. “Now I’ve toured the world and have dans that I want to make happy. The space I need to fill with my sound is not a bedroom anymore, it’s an arena.” —M.V.

Dan Auerbach, “Waiting on a Song”

In a recent interview with EW, the Black Keys frontman described his second solo effort as a “musical stew” of American genres including rock, country, blues, and soul. Auerbach invited ace session musicians such as John Prine, Duane Eddy, and Jerry Douglas to his Nashville studio to bring cuts like shuffling “Livin’ in Sin” and slinky “Cherrybomb” to life. —E.R.B.

Major Lazer, “Know No Better”

Just in time for summer, Major Lazer have returned with a six-song EP packed with club-oriented, globally influenced jams. “Our goals are just to make great music,” de facto frontman Diplo told EW earlier this week. “and these [songs] are all pretty weird.” Dig in. —M.V.

Roger Waters, “Is This the Life We Really Want?”

For the Pink Floyd founder’s first solo album in 25 years, he teamed with Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich. Originally conceived as a radio play, it’s long on ballads, but there is the killer uptempo rocker, “Smell the Roses.” It’s also full of his characteristic doomsaying: “It’s like truth is now a completely alien concept,” Waters told EW in May. “Keep people dumb, uneducated, whatever, so you can go on milking them.” —Kevin O’Donnell

alt-J, “Relaxer”

Delicate and sinister, alt-J’s third album is an exercise in extremes and experimentation. “Hit Me Like a Snare Drum” is straight from the ’60s-era New York rock scene, while the menacing “In Cold Blood” could easily soundtrack the villain’s entrance in a ’90s video game. “They are eight very different songs and eight very different moods,” the group’s keyboardist and vocalist Gus Unger-Hamilton told EW. “It’s quite a well-balanced meal — gives you all the food groups emotionally.” The English band could have easily peaked in 2012 when they won the coveted Mercury Prize for their debut, An Awesome Wave; Relaxer is proof that’s far from true. —A.B.

Liam Gallagher, “Wall of Glass”

The mercurial Oasis singer teamed with star producer Greg Kurstin (Adele, Sia) for his swaggering solo single, off his upcoming full-length As You Were. “Wall of Glass” isn’t Oasis, but with its wailing harmonica, angelic backing vocals, and propulsive guitar, it ably revives the iconic sound of the legendary Britpop group’s early records. —E.R.B.

Prophets of Rage, “Unf— the World”

When Prophets of Rage — the supergroup comprised of Rage Against the Machine members, Public Enemy’s Chuck D, and Cypress Hill’s B-Real — debuted last year, they seemed to be a temporary novelty borne from the unrest wrought by America’s controversial election season. But the election of Donald Trump appears to have spurred the radically progressive hard-rock group, and they’re releasing their self-titled debut album in September. Over a quintessentially pummeling RATM beat, Chuck lays out their mission statement on “Unf— the World”: “Give a damn, evil can’t stand when the people take a stand.” Michael Moore directed the cut’s disturbing video, adding to its incendiary effect. —E.R.B.

Elton John & Jack White, “Two Fingers of Whiskey”

For The American Epic Sessions, Jack White and T Bone Burnett recreated Depression-era recording equipment and invited modern artists of all stripes to cut versions of classic tunes. They’ve already released songs by Nas and Alabama Shakes off the upcoming compilation and shared the White and Elton John collaboration “Two Fingers of Whiskey” on Thursday. John’s honky-tonk piano and White’s raw guitar highlight the song, composed by the former’s longtime songwriting partner Bernie Taupin. —E.R.B.

Amber Coffman, “City of No Reply”

The debut solo LP from the former Dirty Projectors singer-guitarist is a batch of 11 effervescent indie-pop songs. “No Coffee” and “Dark Night” feature irresistible, instantly memorable melodies, while cuts like “If You Want My Heart” incorporate some of the sonic weirdness that defined her previous band. “I wanted to do this since I was about five years old,” Coffman told EW last month of the project, which features musicians like percussionist Mauro Refosco (Atoms for Peace, Red Hot Chili Peppers). “It was a really special experience.” —E.R.B.

Dua Lipa, “Dua Lipa”

“I never want to seem weak in my songs,” the 21-year-old told EW earlier this year. “The second I start writing a sad song, I always change it to make it seem like I was more empowered.” That approach yielded her debut, which is the disco record of the summer and features proven hits like “Be the One” and “Blow Your Mind (Mwah)” along with fresh cuts like the strutting Miguel duet “Lost in Your Light.” —K.O.

The War on Drugs, “Holding On”

Propelled by twinkling synths and shimmering guitars, the lead single from the Philly band’s upcoming album A Deeper Understanding, out August 25, picks up where their 2014 smash Lost in the Dream left off: Windows-down-and-speeding-down-the-highway heartland rock bliss. —E.R.B.

PARTYNEXTDOOR, “COLOURS 2” EP

The four-song surprise EP from the OVO-affiliated crooner is a gorgeous, brief display of his chilly, after-hours R&B. —E.R.B.

Todd Terje, “Maskindans”

No word yet on when fans can expect the second album from the Norwegian disco-house artist, but Terje dropped a kinetic cover Det Gylne Triangel’s 1982 song “Maskindans” Friday — featuring fresh vocals from Triangel. Nearly breaking 10 minutes, the unrelenting track is another essential dancefloor odyssey from Terje. —E.R.B.

Various Artists, “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)”

The soundtrack for the Captain Underpants film adaptation is as outrageous and silly as the movie it accompanies. There are original compositions from Lil Yachty, Adam Lambert, and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic’s absurd theme song for the tidy whitey crimefighter. —E.R.B.

Benjamin Booker, “Witness”

The 27-year-old Booker sounds something like Otis Redding covering Ty Segall in an abandoned warehouse. His second album is also his best, from the Arcs-esque lilt of “Overtime” to the gospel-tinged title track. —E.R.B.

Broken Social Scene, “Skyline”

Broken Social Scene are no strangers to lyrical repetition — 2003’s “Anthems for a 17-Year-Old Girl,” one of the Canadian collective’s best-known tracks, is almost entirely made of the hypnotizing chant, “Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me” — so it’s no surprise their latest song, the folksy “Skyline,” is just one repeating verse. It’s also unsurprising that its four minutes don’t redundant or tired, but soaring, rousing, and perfect for sunsets. —A.B.

Luke Combs, “This One’s For You”

The country breakout found chart success this year with his moody rocker “Hurricane” — and now he’s dropped a whole collection of scorchers. His debut LP scans the modern country landscape, blending nostalgic heartland rock (“Memories Are Made Of”), cornfield-sized party jams (“Beer Can”), honky-tonk delights (“Honky Tonk Highway”), and bleeding-heart guitar ballads (“One Number Away”). —M.V.

U2, “The Joshua Tree” (Super Deluxe Reissue)

Not lucky enough to catch U2 on their special summer tour commemorating the 25th anniversary of their seminal album The Joshua Tree? Never fear: The Irish rockers have goodies for you, too. This sprawling reissue collects the original album, B-sides from the era, fresh remixes, and a 1987 live set from Madison Square Garden for the definitive document of perhaps the band’s greatest period. —E.R.B.

Bob Marley & The Wailers, “Exodus 40”

The album that TIME named the best of the 20th century celebrates its 40th anniversary tomorrow, and this three-disc reissue marks the occasion. There’s the classic LP, but also a reworked, resequenced version by Marley’s son Ziggy — featuring unearthed vocals and instrumental passages from the sessions — and a sizzling 1977 Marley concert recorded at London’s Rainbow Theatre. —E.R.B.

2 June 2017 | 5:56 pm

Eric Renner Brown, Kevin O’Donnell, Ariana Bacle and Madison Vain

Source : EW.com

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

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[stack-of-shame]

Shamesplosion II: Regexance

Game #26: Legend of Kay, Neon Studios, 2005

Legend of Kay is part of a peculiar group of games from the waning years of “Character Action Games” (now known as 3D platformers). In some ways these games, including Kay, are some of the best in the genre. The industry had learned how to make controls feel good. Even more esoteric things, like combo moves, had been standardized to a degree. The camera, once nausea inducing, now seamlessly balanced between the gentle hand of the game and the user’s input. 

For all that is expert about Legend of Kay, it flies a bit too high. The cutscenes and conversations over-rely on generic, canned animations. I believe that all the voice talent in Legend of Kay were fine actors, but, searching the game’s credits, there was not a dedicated voice over director. As such the voice performances as a whole leave something to be desired. 

Why am I picking these nits? Because cutscenes demand a certain quality to justify their presence in a game. Unless they are very good, they drag the experience down. I think I’d have enjoyed Kay more if the conversations had been presented only as text. I don’t say that to be cruel, I honestly believe that the atmosphere would have been easier to establish. 

Game #27: Quadrilateral Cowboy, Blendo Games, 2016

Quadrilateral Cowboy vs. Jazzpunk is an amazing case study in game audio

Largely because, given access only to the visual elements of both games, you could easily be forgiven for confusing the two.

Both have an aesthetic that blends minimalist geometry and a honey-mustard color-sheme with 80s cyberpunk, both feature a main character who is sent on various "jobs" which involve traveling to an ambiguously virtual dimension to perform espionage, and both treat pre-digital and recently digital technology as a plaything in their world-building.

If, however, you were given only the audio of each game, you would never confuse the two.

On the blog for Necrophone games, they outline the absolutely bonkers lengths they went to to achieve the sound. Many of the noisemakers used for Jazzpunk's soundscape actually built from scratch, soldering and all, by the game's creators. Bringing that level of depth to a game's sound would be admirable for a sound designer, let alone someone who is also devoted full time to simply making the game.

The soundscape of Jazzpunk is like nothing else I've heard before or since, except perhaps in a Martin Denny record. It's a jangly, agitated mix of synths and old jazz records, a kind of James-Bond-cyber-mambo. The implementation is straightforward for the most part, though outright bizarre at times, with attention-grabbing samples coming it at inappropriate times, but because the rest of the game is so damn weird you forgive it somehow.

For everything that is bizarre about Jazzpunk, it relies on more traditional adventure puzzle mechanics, as well as callbacks (there's a quake clone hidden in a wedding cake). The puzzles are hilariously gratifying to solve, but Jazzpunk does not have many new skills to teach the player.

Quadrilateral Cowboy is, in some ways, more sophisticated than Jazzpunk, and I'm not just talking about their approach to humor. Cowboy's gameplay has something quite new to offer players, and something which feels like somewhat of a holy grail in game design; it makes it feel cool to write code. For a while it seemed like there were so many attempts to make games about coding that reviewers were declaring the effort itself to be futile. But Cowboy has done it.

When you look at the credits in Quadrilateral Cowboy, under audio, it simply says "Soundsnap.com" As such very little in Cowboy's soundscape really feels like it belongs to the game. Many of the sounds are appropriate enough. But they do not have that intangible sense of having somehow come from the game itself.

The implementation of sounds is just as puzzling as in Jazzpunk, but unfortunately it is to negative effect. Point-located sounds are at maximum volume when standing near them, and nearly silent when a few steps away. When the player character throws something, they often emit a cough, not the expected effort sound.

The music is completely diagetic, which can be a powerful decision. It is all licensed, and is used to build the settings and tell you things about the characters. All in all a strong point in the soundscape.

I adore both games, but y'all can guess which has been my enduring favorite.

Game #28: Snuggle Truck, Owlchemy Labs, 2012

This game has been in my library for five years, and I sorely regret not playing it immediately after buying it. Snuggle Truck smacks of the Indie Revolution. These kinds of games, centered around a straightforward-but-wiley physics-based mechanic, will always have a special place in my heart. I found myself wondering if this game would be able to stand out if it were released today. Perhaps it would, given Owlchemy’s outreach. 

But how Snuggle Truck would do in today’s market has nothing to do with it’s validity as a work of art, nor does it have anything to do with how deserving it is of commercial success. 

I think about the discussion going on in the indie game community, about the “indiepocalypse” and the “indie bubble.” I think it’s easy to forget that there was never a time when making a game was risk free. It was never a case of, “make game, get paid, onto day three of my indie adventure.” It has always been hell. Maybe the marketing wasn’t hell for a short while. Everything else has always been hell. 

Game #29: Day of the Tentacle Remastered, Double Fine, 2016

I don’t like admitting that I always kind of thought Broken Age invented the whole switching between characters thing. I’ve been touting myself as a fan of point and click adventure games for a while now, and it’s just embarrassing to think I had gotten the whole picture after having played only a tiny selection from what the golden age of this genre has to offer. Man there are a lot of these things. They are a huge time sink though, often designed to take 40 hours to play. I’m not gonna lie, as much as a I adore these games I have myself a good ol’ fashioned think before I choose to start in on one. 

Day of the Tentacle is great, by the way. 

Game #30: Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death, Rebellion, 2003

According to steam, I have played this for 13 minutes. I couldn’t tell you a thing about it because I have no memory of doing so.

Game #31: Elite Dangerous, Frontier Developments, 2014

Oh the deep, dark, horrible shame. My boyfriend bought this game for me at considerable expense in the hopes of giving us another thing to do together. As we booted up the game, he explained to me how we would do one simple thing to boost my cash reserves, and that we’d then be able to do some fun stuff together. He would give me some items, I would sell them. Easy. Would you care to guess how long this took? Trade and sell. How long? How long do you think? 

Three hours. It wasn’t because of our internet connection, it wasn’t because we were very far apart, it wasn’t because we had to do multiple runs, that is how long it takes to do all of the preparatory work in the 20 odd menus and locales you need to visit, then rendez-vous in space, then use a slightly smaller set of menus to open a thing, arm something else, send out another thing, there’s something called a limpet, (I’m assuming it’s named after a British cookie) and then I got the thing and then I could fly back to the station blah blah blah blah. 

I cried. I cried, people. I felt so much like a dumb failure, like a complete waste of my boyfriend’s generosity, that it honestly upsets me to write about it. He did his best to comfort me and assured me he wasn’t mad (yeah, he saw the cry happen) but we have never played it again. I still technically own it but I have hidden it from my steam library because the mere sight of it is disturbing to me, even now. 

Game #32: Mass Effect 2, Bioware, 2010

I have started using Mass Effect 2 to bone up on my German. It’s got full German language support. I only get about a 3rd of what they’re saying. It makes me chuckle how the made-up sci-fi words get pronounced with an American accent. 

Game #33: TRI: Of Friendship and Madness, Rat King, 2014

Exposition of any kind is a tough sell, especially in the fantasy genre. Unless you have Ian McKellen in your roster, almost any fantasy writing is going to sound silly when read aloud. Put another way, dramatic voice over in a game is one of those things that cannot be anything less than great.  I’m tempted to compare this to Journey. Both do a good job of building a fantastical world with magical architecture and a story that existed long before you arrived, but Journey does it better. They probably could have gotten a budget for voice over, but they chose not to use it, and I think it was the right decision. Even with the best voice cast and writers in the world, human voices would have made the world more familiar, to it’s detriment. 

And here’s the thing: in all likelihood, the team behind Journey wrote down just as much detail about the backstory of their game as Tri presents aloud, and a million times more. It may seem that choosing to tell your game’s story without voice over would save effort in terms of storytelling, but nothing could be further from the truth. To expose a world to a player without dialogue, you have to know how your world affects the walls, clothes, materials, gestures, decor, artifacts, absolutely everything the player encounters, because that is the sum total of what you have at your disposal to tell your story.  I’m told that there’s a real mind bender of a game waiting for you if you stick with it, so I may revisit. 

Game #34: Robot Roller-Derby Disco Dodgeball, Erik Asmussen, 2015

I am a chronic late adopter of multiplayer games, partially because I’ve never been able to afford them when they’re new. I’ve never joined one in time to get good at it at the same pace as all the early adopters. For my entire life playing games, I’ve found myself getting stomped by people who have hung on long after a game’s heyday, people who know every trick, and who’s patience for newbs ran out years ago. Which is a shame because this game is colorful and awesome.