#absolute shenanigans in the sevier household today lmao

[babbushka]

👀 May I request 4. "As long as I'm alive, I will do everything I can to protect you" for the Sevier twins (or either Pat or Paul if you’d think it’d work better just for one rather than both)? Thank you!! 💕

(1k, crack & fluff lol. thank you for sending this in!!)

With the sun beginning to set and the glow of the golden hour washing over his town, Paterson tries to appreciate the beauty of the mundanity around him as he walks back home from the supermarket. He’s in a bit of a mood, because he had already been to the supermarket earlier that day at your request.

Paterson took his honey-do lists very seriously, so when in the middle of making dinner you ask for an ingredient that Pat completely forgot to purchase, he practically kicks himself and darts out the door to go pick it up.

Thankfully there were different staff working this time, no one to recognize him. He was in and out in five minutes, and that was only because he let an elderly woman go in front of him and paid for her few items, and walked her to her car like the gentlemen his parents raised him to be.

He’s generally not an ill-tempered man, Paterson. But when he takes the steps up the front porch two at a time and hears you and his brother talking over one another excitedly, he doesn’t hide his frown.

“Paulie please – please – shit!” He can hear you gasping as he shifts the grocery bag around to get the key out of his pocket.

“(Y/N) just – fuck, hold still, you have to stop moving!” Paul’s voice is raised, and Paul never raises his voice unless he’s in bed.

“I can’t, oh, ah!” You scream, and Paterson practically throws open the door.

“Hey no fair I told you to wait for – ” Paterson is two seconds into complaining when he sees it, and he’s so stunned that he can only blurt out, “What is going on?”

Instead of the passionate sex that he had thought he’d find, he sees you up on the counter with your arms wrapped around your knees, and his brother padded up with oven mitts, wielding a large silver pot and the lid as a shield, as six large lobsters scurry around angrily.

Paterson almost drops the bag of groceries, and quickly shuts the door, rushing to your aid, his military reflexes kicking in after years of being dormant.

“They jumped! I thought we picked up dead ones from the fishmonger but they’re alive and they jumped and freaked me the fuck out and now they’re all over the floor, Pat you gotta help us.” You sound nearly hysterical from your spot on the counter, a pair of tongs in your crushing grip.

Oh fuck, Paterson thinks with mild alarm, as they snap their pinchers angrily. Getting the lobster had been Paul’s job, and Paterson regards him with an amused smug sort of smile, and steps into the fray of the kitchen with a, “Paul, really?”

“I’m only one man.” His brother snaps, annoyed, his glasses askew on his nose from his frantic efforts.

The lobsters are no match for the Sevier twins, not once Paterson takes the tongs from your fists and begins chasing them around the kitchen floor. Fleetingly, he’s glad that you mopped earlier and that the tile is clean. He knows they’re going to get boiled anyway, but he’s certain that the five second rule no longer applies.

You remain firmly at your spot on the counter, occasionally offering help in the form of yell-narrating and pointing with wide eyes.

“There’s one under the table – look out!” You ‘help’ then, and Paterson can’t help but grin.

His bad mood vanished the second he realized what was actually going on, any trace of lingering grouchiness or poutiness evaporated. All Paterson was focused on, was catching these lobsters and getting them scooped into the pot his brother held so that they could be dropped in the boiling water on the stove.

“Honey you can calm down, it’s okay.” Paterson tries to reassure you, but you’re not having any of it.

“I don’t want you to get pinched, it really hurts.” You protest with a shake of your head, and that distracts Paterson for a minute.

“Did one of them get you?” He blinks, immediately coming over to you and surveying your hands.

“Yeah like three times, got Paulie once too, be careful Pat.” Showing him the band-aids on your fingers, he begins gently pressing kisses to the pads there, momentarily forgetting that there were still two lobsters to be caught.

He remembers, when one decides to lunge a vengeful attack against his ankles, managing to clip the exposed skin between his jeans and his shoes.

“Ow!” Pat snatches the lobster up without a second thought, the wriggling thing trying to pinch at him as he walks it over to Paul and drops it in the pot. Paul shuts the lid over it, and holds it steady as all but one of them move around in there.

Paul manages to get the last one all on his own, and only once they’re all captured, does Paterson chuck them into the boiling hot water, listening to the whistle that comes out.

“Hear that? All done.” Paul smiles at you, looking absolutely disheveled and flushed.

You climb down from the counter and watch as your boys wash their hands well, scrubbing with soap and hot water before crowding around you, wanting your attention. You feel silly, Paterson can tell by the embarrassed smile you sport, but he kisses it off of you while Paul leans in to kiss at your cheek until you’re grinning in earnest.

“Thank you handsome, don’t know what I would’ve done without the two of you.” You sigh, and Paterson pinches at your side.

“As long as I'm alive, I will do everything I can to protect you.” He says seriously, and you only bat your lashes at him and loop your arms around his neck.  

“My hero.” You smile, giving him one final kiss before Paul reaches for you too.

“You know what they say, everything tastes better when you’ve worked for it?” He asks sheepishly, rubbing his nose along yours and gratefully accepting a kiss too.

“It’s going to be delicious, but the next time you boys want lobster for dinner, you’re taking me out to a restaurant. Fair?” You bump your hip against each of theirs as you gently push through them on your way to the stove, giving the pot a good stir and pulling out the freshly cooked shellfish.

“Fair.” They reply simultaneously, before all three of you burst out into laughter at the things that really could only ever happen in the Sevier Household.