#about to click post dear heathen gods please look out for me

[wistfulcynic]

Harsh-Sounding and Potentially Unpopular Opinion Incoming. (lots of them, actually, brace yourselves.)

here it is: On the whole, people do not consider or relate to the experiences of others unless they are forced to. 

Now i am not saying that this makes any of us terrible people. Just that there is a natural inclination to assume that your way of doing things or of thinking about them is The Way and unless it is actively brought to your attention that this isn’t true, you just hang out in your own little solipsism forever. 

i think about this a LOT whenever i see discourse about, let’s say, just to choose a topic at random, racism in fandom. i think about it every time i see a white person say “bUt noT eVEryTHiNg iS aBouT RaCe.” Because they’re right. Not everything is about race. For them. 

It’s that “for them” that trips us up every time. 

(disclaimer: i am a white person raised in the USA. When i say white people/Black people/POC i’m talking about Americans.)

We white folks love to say that we don’t think about race. For us, that’s a kind of virtue signalling. “I’m so enlightened I don’t even think about race!” Give me plaudits now for i am a Good Person. But what we fail to understand is that Not Thinking About Race is only possible for us because white supremacy makes it so. Not Thinking About Race is a privilege we have because our race doesn’t inform every aspect of our lives. It doesn’t prevent us from getting jobs or educations, it doesn’t lead to us being followed around in stores or accused of crimes or shot just for existing in public. This isn’t virtue, it’s obliviousness. We don’t think about race because we don’t have to, because being white doesn’t affect our day-to-day lives and, ahem, on the whole people do not consider or relate to the experiences of others unless they are forced to. 

POC are forced to. (i’m basing this on what i’ve learned from POC talking about their experiences, please call me out if i get anything wrong). POC have to think about race all the time because it’s constantly shoved in their faces, by the lack of diverse representation in media, by the constant stream of news stories about Black people being killed for no reason at all, by their own daily experiences of microaggressions and injustices and downright tragedies. POC think about race because they don’t have the privilege of Not Thinking About It. 

All of this, when brought into the fandom environment, leads to a fundamental failure of communication and understanding. When a POC says “this thing is racist” and a white person immediately replies “but i wasn't even thinking about race!” both those things are true. Both those things are true but they are not. both. equally. valid. 

The POC spots the racism in the thing because they a) think about race by necessity and as a matter of course and b) have direct experiences of racism on which to draw. Whereas white people all too often spend their whole lives surrounded by other white people without any diverse viewpoints or experiences to force them to consider how others might see things. This leads to a whole lot of well-meaning white people who do and say racist things, not out of active racist intent but just by living as a privileged person in a racist society full of racist institutions and never actually thinking about whether their experiences of that society and those institutions are universal or not, or considering how it might feel to be deliberately oppressed, excluded, and unserved by that same society and those institutions. 

Again, this doesn’t mean that we are inherently bad people. It does mean that we are humans with human flaws that we need to be aware of in order to behave in ways that don’t cause harm to others. This is not easy. When you are raised to think in certain ways and do certain things and you know that there’s no malicious intent in any of it, it is harsh and jarring to hear someone tell you that those things are racist. It’s natural to want to defend yourself. It’s not, unfortunately, natural to think “actually maybe they have a point. Maybe they know something i don't. Maybe it’s something i need to understand if i’m going to have a fully informed opinion on this topic.” 

It’s not natural to think that but it is essential. We need to learn how to listen without defensiveness and how to decouple our actions from our beliefs about our character. It’s possible to do and say racist things without being a bad person, so long as when we are told that those things are racist we stop doing and saying them. Believe people when they tell you that what you’re doing harms them, and then don’t fucking do it anymore.

You think POC talk too much about racism? You want them to stop? This is how that gets done. It’s the only way that gets done. Arguing with them, trying to invalidate or silence them—that just takes your racism from “unintentional” to “actively fucking harmful.” That’s where it stops being an unintended consequence of your privilege and starts being a choice.

Listen to POC. Listen to them and do better and then maybe they won’t have so much racism to talk about. Then maybe we can all go back to enjoying our gay pirates in peace. 

Then. But not before.

[gospelmusic]

Catholic Daily Reading + Reflection, 4 January 2021 - The Kingdom Of Heaven Is At Hand

Readings at Mass for Monday 4 January 2021

Monday after Epiphany Vestment: White Today’s Rosary: Joyful Mystery Preface of Christmas

FIRST READING

“Test the spirits to see whether they are of God. ” A reading from the first Letter of Saint John (1 John 3:22-4:6) Beloved: We receive from God whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us. Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are of God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit which confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit which does not confess Jesus is not of God. This is the spirit of antichrist, of which you heard that it was coming, and now it is in the world already. Little children, you are of God, and have overcome them; for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are of the world, therefore what they say is of the world, and the world listens to them. We are of God. Whoever knows God listens to us, and he who is not of God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error. The word of the Lord.

RESPONSORIAL PSALM Psalm 2:7-8. 10- 11 (R. 8a)

R/. I will give you the nations as your inheritance. I will announce the decree of the Lord The Lord said to me, “You are my Son. It is I who have begotten you this day. Ask of me and I will give you the nations as your inheritance, and the ends of the earth as your possession.” R. “So now, O kings, understand; take warning, rulers of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear; exult with trembling, pay him your homage.” R. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

ALLELUIA Matthew 4:23

Alleluia. Alleluia. Jesus was preaching the Gospel of the kingdom and healing every infirmity among the people. Alleluia.

GOSPEL

“The kingdom of heaven is at hand. ” A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew (Matthew 4:12- 17.23-25) At that time: When Jesus heard that John had been arrested, he withdrew into Galilee; and leaving Nazareth he went and dwelt in Capernaum by the sea, in the territory of Zebulun and Naphtali, that what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled: “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali towards the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles — the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned.” From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” And he went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every infirmity among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, and paralytics, and he healed them. And great crowds followed him from Galilee and the Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and from beyond the Jordan. The Gospel of the Lord.

Today’s Reflection

Jesus is the light of the world. His mission in the territory of Zebulon and Naphtali indicates the fulfilment of a prophecy of restoration made in Isaiah 9:1-2. The place is known as the Galilee of the Gentiles. Jesus took the light to the heathens in their own land. He does not just wait for us to come to him; he comes to us because he loves us and wants to save us. He stands now at the door of your life waiting to dispel whatever darkness, sin, sickness, poverty, restlessness – that threatens you, if only you will let him in.

Personal Devotional: Day 3

21 Day Novena for Personal and Family Restoration in the New Year 2021 (2nd January - 23rd January 2021) Fasting Guideline: (i) Fast on the first day of the prayers, (ii) Every Fridays throughout the period and (iii) The last day of the prayers from 6am – 6pm (If you have the grace to fast from 6am-12noon or 6am-6pm in the 21days of the prayers you’re free to do so). Note: The sick, pregnant women, nursing mothers are please advised to exercise caution in the fast. 1. Opening Prayer: The name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit Amen. 2. Prayer point: - Ask God for the healing of your family foundation, and the healing of your bloodline. - Ask him to heal your destiny, to remove anything from the past affecting your life negatively. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 3. Reflection: Judges 6:25-28, Psalm 11, 123, and 125 4. Healing Prayers of your Family Lineage Heavenly Father, I come before you as your child, in great need of your help. I have physical health needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs and interpersonal needs. Many of my problems have been caused by my own failures, neglect and sinfulness, for which I humbly beg your forgiveness. I also ask you to forgive the sins of my ancestors whose failures may have left their effects on me in the form of unwanted tendencies, negative behavior patterns and a predisposition toward sin. Heal me, Lord, of all these disorders. With your help I sincerely forgive everyone, living or dead members of my family lineage, who have directly offended me or my loved ones in any way, or those whose sins have resulted in our present sufferings and disorders. In the name of your divine Son Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I ask you Father, to deliver me and my entire family lineage from the influence of evil. Free all members of my family tree, including those in adoptive relationships, and those in extended family relationships, from every contaminating form of bondage. By your loving concern for us, heavenly Father, and by the shed blood of your precious Son Jesus, I beg you to extend your blessing to me and all my living and deceased relatives. Heal every negative effect transmitted through all past generations, and prevent such negative effects in all future generations. I symbolically place the Cross of Christ over the head of every person in my family lineage and I ask you to let the cleansing Blood of Jesus purify every aspect of my family. Send protective angels to encamp around us and administer to us your divine healing power, even in areas of genetic disability. Give special power to our family members’ guardian angels to heal, protect, guide and encourage each of us in all our needs. Let your healing power be released at this very moment, and let it continue as long as your sovereignty permits. Replace all bondage in our family lineage with a bonding of holy family love. May there be an ever-deeper bonding with you, Heavenly Father, through the power of your Holy Spirit, to your Son, Jesus Christ. Let the family of the Holy Trinity pervade our family with its tender, warm, loving presence so that our family may recognize and manifest that love in all our relationships; in Jesus’ precious name I pray. Amen. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 5. Prayer of Confirmation and trust in God Lord, God Almighty, I thank you for protecting me from every form of evil and bringing me the gift of your divine health. I thank you for breaking the chains of oppression and delivering me from every form of sin, sickness, disease and lie of the enemy. I thank you for the powerful name of Jesus to which every knee shall bow. Thank you for giving me your authority over all the power of the enemy. Nothing shall harm me.  Thank you for your full armor, your name, your most precious Blood and your Holy Spirit. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. Thank you heavenly father for all your protection and provisions, for yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory, now and forevermore. Amen 6. Recite the Rosary (Joyful Mysteries): Offer this mystery for your Personal Intention, for a successful 2021. 7. Concluding Prayers: Dear Lord, I surrender to your mercy; Lord I surrender to your loving kindness; merciful God, I surrender to your saving grace.  (Repeat as severally as you can) “I surrender my life and my destiny to you oh Lord, wash it with the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST.” In the power and authority that you have given me, I say to all addictions, perversions, chemical dependencies, hopelessness, worry, doubt, fear, despair and all symptoms of any such illness, that you must submit to the name of Jesus. I cast down every argument and proud obstacle that exalts itself against the knowledge of God in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. In the name of the father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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[salt-is-a-terrible-currency]

Keeping promises 8

Link to AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivartheboneme/works

Chapter 1: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156118762399/keeping-promises

Chapter 2: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156225089779/keeping-promises-chapter-2

Chapter 3: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156323954704/keeping-promises-3

Chapter 4: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156418605064/keeping-promises-4

Chapter 5: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156508797474/keeping-promises-5

Chapter 6: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156551196849/keeping-promises-6

Chapter 7: https://ivartheboneme.tumblr.com/post/156666778099/keeping-promises-7

Warnings: rape mention, abuse mention. Torture scene. Will get more explicit in later chapters.

Author’s note: the timeline is a bit different from the show. Here, Ivar was born long before before Ragnar made the deal with King Ecbert about starting a settlement. I’d say he was about 5 years old when the settlement was established. Also, the timejump in the middle of season 4 lasted long enough for the relevant characters to reach whatever the age of consent is in your country. Where I live it’s 15, I don’t know about other countries. Sorry in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors, English isn’t my native language.

WARNING: TORTURE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE

Regarding the title “thegn”, I’m not sure if I’m using it correctly. I found some contradictory information about it and since it was almost five in the morning I didn’t have the energy to dig deeper. But what I mean by it, is that he is a noble of somewhat high status that is loyal to a king, in this case Ælle. This means that he would send most of his soldiers and different resources to aid the king.

Chapter 8

While Ylva slept, Ivar thought of how to convince his brothers to let him bring part of the army to attack Ælfric. He was a thegn loyal to king Ælle; he was also the man that had put a thin rope around Ylva’s neck and nearly strangled her to death. When they talked after Ælle’s execution, Ivar had asked her if Ælfric had done it as a punishment for her resisting. She said that no, he did it because he liked it.

Ivar doubted that his dear siblings would just let him leave, especially if they realized that he was taking Ylva with him. No, they would follow and convince the warriors to turn back. He had to find people that were loyal to him and a good excuse for attacking Ælfric. He hoped that Floki would take his side. He trusted his mentor, not only when it came to his fighting skills and his connection with the gods: Floki was the only one he would allow to take care of Ylva. He supposed that Helga could take care of her too, but she would also work to take her away from him. Anger bubbled up within him at the thought of it and he grabbed Ylva even tighter. She winced in her sleep and Ivar immediately loosened his grip on her again. Other than this, her sleeping seemed unusually peaceful. She had whimpered a few times but only for a couple of seconds. He looked at her: the small mouth, the high cheekbones and the freckles that dotted her face. There were more on the left cheek than on the right, he noted. His heart sped up as he thought about what she had whispered earlier: I want to do it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What is the problem? If we attack Ælfric we will have more horses, more food and treasure.” Ivar pressed on. When Ylva woke up and complained about the pain in her knees, he had asked Floki to come and help her with the ointment so that he could present his plan to attack Ælfric.

“All those are good things, but it’s not worth the loss of men.” Björn responded while rubbing his eyes. He was already tired from the hunt, and the constant exposure to his half-brother’s rebellious nature didn’t help.

“We wouldn’t lose anyone, Ælfric sent almost all of his men to aid Ælle. I also have a rough sketch of the buildings so I know where to move. He can’t beat us.”

“And how did you come upon this information?” Sigurd asked. Ivar smirked.

“Because I did what none of you bothered with, I talked to the wanderer.”

“Fine, we’ll put it to a vote.” Björn said with a sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Floki and Ylva were walking through a long corridor. Shouts and clashing of swords could be heard outside, but the fight would never make it this far. What Ivar had said to his brothers two days ago had turned out to be correct, Ælfric had sent most of his men to join Ælle’s forces. Floki held one hand on his sword, ready to draw it if someone came at them, and in the other he held a torch. The sun was slowly setting and the house was dark. Even with the aid of the torch Ylva sometimes stumbled. Floki clicked his tongue as they hurried past a large tapestry depicting saints.

“We’re almost there, but we don’t have much time.” They passed several doors, most of them had been left open in the chaos. Thegn Ælfric had not seen it coming, probably thinking he was too insignificant for the great heathen army to bother with him. Floki finally stopped in front of a big door at the end of the corridor. Unlike the others it was closed and she heard muffled noises coming from behind it. He gently nudged her towards the door.

“He’s waiting for you. I’ll stand guard.” He sounded nervous. Ylva got the feeling that he wasn’t completely comfortable with what was happening. She realized that by agreeing to help Ivar and her, he would anger the rest of the Ragnarssons and his wife. A sudden wave of gratefulness swept over her. She reached out and took the hand that rested on his sword.

“Thank you. I’ll never forget this.” The corners of his mouth twitched.

“Go.” Ylva pushed the door open and stepped inside. She found herself in a big bedroom, a dozen small candles placed around the room. There was a small hearth at the right side of the room. The fire had died out, but the embers still glowed and the floor felt warm under her feet. In front of it stood a chair and a small table. There was something lying on the table that she couldn’t quite see. Another, much smaller, tapestry hung over the headboard. Ylva never registered what it was showing, instead her eyes locked onto the two men on the bed. Ivar was sitting at the foot of the bed, waiting for her. A pair of feet stuck out to next to him, seemingly tied together.

”Don’t be afraid, I’ll help you.” Ivar said. She slowly moved closer. The man on the bed had been stripped naked and both his hands and feet were tied together. He lied on his stomach, a rag pushed into his mouth. As Ylva stopped next to his head, she could see drops of sweat run down his face and the copper hair stuck to his cheeks. She noticed that the grey areas in his hair had spread since the last time they met. Ivar followed her every movement with a hungry look in his eyes. Without looking away from Ælfric she said

“Help me turn him over.” Ivar did as she asked. Ælfric struggled wildly and tried to cry for help as they rolled him onto his back. Ylva’s eyes darkened. She grabbed onto his hair and yanked his head towards her.

“No one is coming to help you. You’re alone now, like I was.” She let go of him again and moved around the bed until she stood next to Ivar. He kissed her knuckles and gestured at the small table that stood in front of the hearth.

“What would you like to start with?” She looked over at the table and finally saw what it was. Different tools. A hammer, nails, a small saw, shears. And lastly, a piece of rope. Ylva picked up the rope and studied it closely.

“No knife?” She asked.

“You can use mine.” Ylva brought the rope and the hammer with her back. Her breathing was ragged.

“Hold him down.” Ivar moved so that he was level with the man’s head. He grabbed Ælfric's arms and kept him from squirming. Ylva discarded her crutches and climbed onto the bed. She straddled Ælfric, ignoring that her knees felt like they were on fire. The hammer swayed ominously in her hand.

“What are you going to do to him?” Ylva grabbed the rag and pulled it out of his mouth. Ælfric begged for his life but Ylva ignored his desperate pleas.

“I’m going to break his collarbone.” She raised the hammer high above her head and Ivar gasped at the image in front of him. Her tormenter screamed in pain as the hammer hit its target, drowning out the sound of bone being shattered. Ivar now looked completely like a predator. The sobs and screams continued and he had to raise his voice for Ylva to hear him.

“And now?” He growled at her while wetting his lips.

“The rope.”

“Turn him on his stomach first, that will make it easier.” They moved him again and she sat on Ælfric’s lower back. Ivar handed her the rope and watched as she placed it around her tormentor’s neck. Ylva tested her grip on the rope. Ælfric only became more frantic.

“Do you want me to shut him up?”

“No.” Ylva began pulling at the rope, tightening its grip. Her pupils dilated, making her eyes look black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She’s gone!” Ubbe stood in Ivar’s tent, watching as Helga tore out the beds frantically looking for Ylva.

“You’re not going to find her in here. She must’ve gone with him.” Right before Floki and Ivar left with the small raiding party, they had stopped by to say that Ylva was asleep and didn’t want to be disturbed. Floki suggested that Helga wait a few hours, then bring her some food and help tend to her legs. She agreed that it was best to let Ylva rest, now that the fever was gone and her sleep was slightly more peaceful. But the girl was nowhere to be found. Helga felt tears sting in her eyes, she couldn’t believe that Floki had betrayed her like this. She loved and cared for both Tanaruz and Ylva like they were her own children, and now her husband may well have put one of them in mortal danger. The rest of the Ragnarssons stepped inside and she turned to face them.

“You have to bring her back. Please.”

“I’ll go.” Ubbe said quickly. He didn’t approve of everything that his brother did, but judging by the look on Björn’s face Ivar might not make it out of this alive if Björn were the one to go after him. Hvitserk stepped forward.

“I’ll come with you.”

“Hurry” Helga whispered and sat down at Ylva’s bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fight was long over. The raiders were occupied with looking for loot when two horses came galloping out of the woods. They came to a halt just in front of the raiders and the riders jumped to the ground.

“Where is Ivar?” Ubbe asked the shieldmaiden standing closest to him.

“He’s somewhere inside the house. I believe he went looking for Ælfric, I think Floki is in there too.” Hvitserk cursed and together they sprinted towards the house. They slammed the door open and made their way through a large entrance hall. Soon, the way split in two. Hvitserk turned to the left and Ubbe to the right. Hvitserk found himself in a long corridor. As he passed a large tapestry, he heard noises coming from behind a door at the end of the corridor. A lanky shadow stepped out of one of the smaller rooms. Floki.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” He warned Hvitserk.

“Do you really think you could get away with killing me?” Floki shook his head.

“I’m not going to hurt you. But I will have to warn Ivar that you’re here.” He took a few steps towards the door and tapped it three times. “We’ve got company.”

“Let me pass.” Hvitserk insisted, but Floki didn’t move. So he pushed him out of the way and stepped in front of the door. He shivered, afraid of what he might be about to see. He reached for the door and pushed it open. The smell of blood came rushing out. He took a few steps inside. Hvitserk froze, not quite able to register what he saw. When it clicked, he felt his stomach turn and he stumbled back into the corridor, vomiting on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ælfric didn’t have much time left. His screams had turn into whimpers as he was drained of life. Ylva carved another mark into his back.

“This mark is much better than the first ones, my hands must be getting steadier.” She mumbled. Ivar shook his head.

“Your hands were always steady, but he’s not fighting back as much now.” He had let go of Ælfric and moved so that he was lying next to him, one hand on Ylva’s back and the other supporting his chin so that he could see what she was doing. Ivar tensed.

“I hear voices outside. You need to finish this.” Soon after, three taps sounded through the room.

“Here, put the knife here and push it as far down as you can. He won’t be able to breathe and his mouth will fill with blood.” Just as she sunk the blade into Ælfric, the door opened and someone walked in. But she didn’t notice. Blood streamed out of the wound, spilling onto her already blood covered hands. A red spot spread under his body and she could feel his death throes. Before long, he was still. Someone retched over by the door. Ylva let go of the knife and pulled Ivar closer, melting her lips with his, smearing his face and hair with blood.