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sonofsallyjackson · 4 years ago

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Family Never Truly Leaves Us: Chapter 1 featuring Baby Lost Trio

AO3

Summary: Thalia Grace was very good at finding her family. Keeping that family together was a completely different story. Her first family collapsed when her brother’s disappearance became too much to bear. She died for her second family, only to wake up years later and not recognize them anymore. Her third family is literally twenty-odd teenagers and an immortal virgin goddess, but she’s never been one for traditional.

AN: Basically this is a three part story that was inspired by @silima’s incredible art of the lost trio together as kids. I mean just look at it. Baby Piper, Leo and Jason are absolutely adorable and deserved to be celebrated. However, this turned into a Thalia piece and the three different families she’s made for herself. As I initially planned to have this chapter out by Jason’s birthday and it’s now the last hours of Leo’s, I cannot hope to have the next section up by Annabeth’s birthday even if that’s my unofficial deadline.

Thalia Grace was very good at finding her family. Keeping that family together was a completely different story.

Her first family was one pulled together just as much biologically as it had been by circumstance. Beryl Grace lacked the maternal instinct necessary to be a good mother, but she did have a strong ability for finding people who might be useful to her. Of course, her definition of useful was particularly fickle. Some days useful meant the literal king of the gods, who she would beg to make her queen of his dominion, to revere her above all others. Other days it meant the personal assistant, all too willing to fill their mansion with a never-ending supply of alcohol. On the best days, it brought Tristan Mclean, Esperanza Valdez and their children into their lives.

Beryl had mocked her agent at first. You really couldn’t get me anything better? The Oscar committee hates fantasy. But she had wanted to dive back into the world of Hollywood elite where she belonged. She wanted to prove that her second child didn’t mean she had let herself go or was less worthy of the public’s adoration. If anything Beryl claimed to six-year-old Thalia, I’m more worthy. Who can say they’ve attracted a god twice?

They met in the middle, as Beryl Grace’s fame was crashing, and Tristan Mclean's was preparing for a meteoric rise. He'd worked with the director on a few minor projects, but it was his first starring role in such a big-budget film. Regardless, it had taken a little convincing. After all, he was a single father with a daughter under the age of two, and his closest family was halfway across the country. But the director was insistent, sending scripts, pictures of the prototype animatronic dragons, and finally, a pretty young woman from the special effects department who also had a little kid. Esperanza Valdez and her honest approach to how she was handling her "tornado with legs" did more to calm his fears than anything else did. Tristan signed on enthusiastically after making sure childcare was handled.

Beryl Grace didn’t bother to consider something as bland as childcare. After all, she accumulated a list of nannies over the years. No one stuck around very long. The latest, Mrs. Costa, thought their house was haunted. She didn’t like the way wind danced through the house or the lightning that flashed even when the sky was completely clear. One day Mrs. Costa ran out of the house, screaming that the baby was floating and needed to be exorcised.

"I don't have time to be dealing with this, Thalia." Beryl snapped as if this was all Thalia’s fault. “I’m calling the studio.”

It turned out the studio had no problem with adding two more children to their makeshift daycare. Beryl Grace dropped them off at Tristan Mclean’s trailer, apologizing all the way as she runs to makeup. The trailer was a mess of children’s toys and storybooks. Thalia was not impressed, but Jason squealed excitedly at the other children already on the floor. The girl definitely dressed herself, decked out as she was in a rainbow tutu, a camo t-shirt and rainboots despite the fact they’re in the middle of a drought. The boy didn’t say anything but offered Jason the red block he’d previously been playing with. He’s smaller than Jason, with dark curly hair and an infectious smile. Thalia’s never felt more out of place as she watches the three of them play. She’s used to being Jason’s whole world, the one who always keeps him entertained and safe. The blond intern boredly watching them, jumped to her feet as the door opened again. A woman slightly younger than her mother with dark skin and twinkling brown eyes smiled at her easily.

"Thanks so much for covering for me, Sarah. We should be good to go. I only had to explain the controls about six times to Pat.”

"Really, Esperanza? They're letting Pat handle it." There's clear annoyance in her voice, but she also seems resigned to the fact.

"It turns out being the producer's son has its perks." Esperanza patted Sarah's shoulder encouragingly. "If it were up to me, you'd be the one running it.”

“I’ll come get you if we run into problems, but I think you’re good to stay with the kids.” Sarah glanced in Thaila’s direction as if to remind her boss of their unusual charges.

“Well, you’ll know where to find me.”

After Sarah had left, Esperanza set her walkie talkie on the table before kneeling down, so she was eye to eye with Thalia. "Hello Mija, you must be Thalia. I don't know what your mother told you, but my name is Esperanza. I’m going to be looking after you and your brother today.”

Thalia nodded uncertainly. She was used to new people coming into their lives, but that didn't mean she liked it. And she knew all too well, that even the people with the brightest smiles could bring trouble.

"The other little munchkins are Piper and Leo." Piper didn't even react to her name as she was too busy building a tower, so a giggling Jason could knock it over. Leo, on the other hand, gave his Mama a curious glance before promptly shoving a block in his mouth.

“Jason tries to eat everything too!” Thalia said with a slight laugh.

“They tend to do that at this age. It helps them explore their world better.” Esperanza gently encouraged Leo to take it out only to have her son holding tightly to her like a spider monkey.

Thalia sort of understood that. She didn’t understand the world either, but she didn’t think knowing how blocks tasted really made Jason any more of an expert.

“Most of the toys we have are meant for someone their age, but I’m sure we can find something for you to play with.”

In the end, Thalia settled down with a stack of paper and crayons. She sat as close to Jason as possible, just on the outside of the trio’s little circle. Even though she already felt like Esperanza was better at keeping an eye on Jason than Mrs. Costa, Thalia continually checked in on her brother, although her glances slowly subside from one for every new line she added to her drawing to only when she grabbed a new crayon or when one of the kids let out an indignant squawk or a giggle.

When Piper requested a song for naptime, it’s easy to slip into a gentle sleep until the trailer door opened, and Thalia heard her mother's voice.

Beryl fluttered her eyelashes at Tristan as she leaves exaggerated kisses on her children’s heads. “I really can’t thank you enough for helping today.”

He let out the hearty genuine laugh that he’ll be known for one day. “It was all Esperanza, really.” He said as he offered the other woman a smile. “In this industry, single parents need to stick together. Helping out for the week is the least we can do.”

It ended up being much more than a week.

Many days on set are often the same as their first, although a collection of toy cars, a robot, and a pair of lightsabers are added to the more toddler-friendly options. There are days when the kids are so full of energy there’s no possible way to stay in the trailer. The trio ran laps around the trailer or race between wherever Thalia and Esperanza are standing.

Sometimes if they promise to be good, they even go on adventures to see different parts of the studio lot. The women in the hair and makeup department dote on Piper. Leo is happiest in his mother’s workshop. Jason proclaimed he wants to be exactly like the stunt actors, which made Thalia’s heart skip a beat. Despite all of the cool things she’s seen on set, Thalia loved the days they watch their parents act the most. When Thalia watched her mother, she felt like she understands why Beryl is so determined to make it here. She thrived in front of the lights and camera. There's an ease to her smiles that Thalia hasn’t seen since her father left.

After one late-night shoot where the children all slept over in the Mclean house, the families traded the trailer for their homes. Esperanza's schedule barely overlapped with the other two. She got to set early to set up her machines, or she went later for the nightly repairs. In the hours where makeup calls overlapped with set-up, a tired production assistant lazily watched the kids in Tristan’s trailer. There are days where Beryl filmed, and Tristan didn't, and vice versa. Days when Tristan took all four children because Esperanza needed to get some decent sleep. They look out for each other. While Beryl was not thrilled about the idea of two additional kids in her house, it’s a lot easier to keep a babysitter than a nanny.

Undoubtedly, this strategy would have been completely impossible if the three toddlers hadn't been friends. Luckily, the kids got along almost too well. Even if they saw each other nearly every day, separating them was a nightmare. They also were more than willing to help out in each other's schemes. Jason’s determination to put absolutely everything in his mouth had only grown as he got older. Sure things kept falling off of high shelves as if pushed by some invisible force, but Thalia thought she’d probably be able to handle that if it hadn’t been for Leo. He was a week younger, but when he got the occasional look of mischief on his chubby face, Thalia knew it was over. She’d walked in from school twice now to find Jason chewing on something she knew was in one of the locked cabinets and Leo proudly smiling on the counter.

Of course all good things come to an end. Thalia worried that with no movie bonding the three families together, everything would fall apart, that she and Jason would be left to their own devices. She realized she shouldn’t have worried when Beryl mentioned they’re spending the Premiere night at the Valdez’s. Three assistants needed to sew Beryl into a form-fitting dress with embroidery that looks like the night stars. Her mother may have looked radiant on the red carpet, but Thalia preferred Esperanza’s mismatched pajamas and the genuine smiles she gave as she tucks the four of them in.

In the end, the film flopped. The only things critics deemed worthy of any praise are Esperanza’s mechanical dragons. The fans seem to prefer the shirtless Tristan Mclean scenes. It had the potential to be a cult classic one day, but Beryl Grace didn’t care about being famous someday. She wanted the world now when she’s young and beautiful. She already deserved the world.

It was probably for the best that Beryl misses most of the party. It's the easy sort of affair that she would hate. She's always been one for spectacle, and three kids sitting in highchairs flinging red frosting at each other was not a spectacle. She chose her career over her son’s third birthday. It didn’t even surprise Thalia anymore.

“You know I can’t Thalia. My agent says this is a big opportunity we’ve been waiting for. I just know it’s the one.” Beryl said as she pulled up to the Valdez’s apartment building.

Thalia didn’t mention that every audition, every lunch, every cocktail hour seemed to be the one lately. Her mother is frazzled in a way she’s never seen her before. She hasn’t accepted that there is no new movie coming. A new blonde-haired, blue-eyed ingenue showed up in Hollywood every day, and they’re almost all younger and easier to work with than Beryl Grace.

“I’ll be there later, Sweetie.” She handed Thalia a disposable camera. “You’ll just have to show me what I miss.”

It’s almost funny how their birthdays align so perfectly. Piper’s is in June and Leo and Jason’s a week apart. They held the party together since the kids wouldn't know differently anyway. Unlike Beryl, Tristan took the day off from auditions. Esperanza had already spent the entire night before making enough food for an army.

Thalia blew up a hundred silver balloons, never realizing that an eight-year-old should have been out of breath much sooner and that without helium, her balloons should stay firmly on the ground. Some of them do, but most float easily around the apartment. Piper and Leo bounced one back and forth to each other, giggling the entire time. Jason practically pounced on one and tries to eat it. It pops beneath him, which seemed to be enough to convince him not to put this strange thing in his mouth. He joined the other two, although he took great pleasure in hitting the balloon as hard as he can at Thalia to convince her to join them.

There’s easy laughter, homemade tamales, and little shouts of “Tree! Tree! Tree!” as the birthday kids marched around the room, announcing their age proudly for everyone to hear despite not mastering the sound an h makes. The pictures Thalia took are more for herself then Beryl, to remind herself of how happy she was. This is probably for the best as Beryl never asks to look at the pictures.

Maybe in another world, Thalia would feel like it was impossible to go to school, to leave Jason alone with their mother or the nanny of the month for the day. But in this world, Thalia has other adults in her corner. The three children stayed together in a play-pin in Esperanza’s workshop or Tristan’s office as he looked for his next big role. It wasn’t an ideal scenario since by the time they were three and a half, they were more than capable of making a break for it. But they’d learned early not to touch anything besides their toys, that masterful escapes were meant for playing in the yard or for grabbing extra crayons and that if necessary the parents could find other arrangements, potentially separate arrangements. Personal assistants and nannies filled in where the parents couldn’t, but these had been hired by parents who actually cared about their children.

School was hard enough in this world where the letters floated off the page, and Thalia couldn't sit still, so Thalia truly couldn’t imagine a worse one. But after school, when there were no glowering teachers or odd children with one eye, Thalia relaxed. She sat at the short wooden table in whoever’s living room they were staying at for the day and stubbornly work on her homework as Leo put together puzzles, and Piper roped Jason into creating larger than life storylines for her Barbies.

Piper seemed to know when her homework made her want to scream because she would ask in her sweetest voice, “Tally, play now?”

“Who am I today, Pipes?”

Jason might try to hand her the doll he'd previously been sucking on, but usually, Piper had something very specific in mind. There’s Sofia, the redheaded murder suspect complete with purple crayon scars. Or Ama, the princess in disguise that Jason attacked with a pair of safety scissors, so she's almost bald. Or a million other characters with intricate backstories.

Piper occasionally needed to pause their play because “Jason was doing it all wrong” or because she needed to ask Leo to build their characters a castle out of Legos. But overall, Thalia could play with the kiddos for hours after school.

Occasionally things were bad. Beryl would be sent home from a shoot early, alcohol heavy on her breath. Daytime soap actresses were a dime a dozen, and no one had the patience for a woman past her prime who could barely remember her lines and couldn't even stand without swaying. (Beryl’s character was given a brain tumor to explain her behavior and allow the writers time to get rid of the fan favorite.) Those days featured doors slamming and screaming. If they’re at the Grace Mansion, Thalia made sure the kiddos were safely out of sight and occupied, before ducking behind the kitchen counter so she can call for reinforcements. Mostly though, she found about these sorts of days after the fact, when Tristan’s assistant drove the two of them home, and there would be broken glasses and picture frames with their mother passed out in her bedroom.

Despite this, Thalia grew up loved, even if that love didn’t come from her biological parents. Tristan tried to entice her to read even though it's hard. He pretended he needed someone to run lines with and encouraged Thalia to be as dramatic as possible. Somehow it didn’t matter that the words are swimming in front of her, she’s only nine, and the idea of collapsing dramatically into fake tears is so much more powerful than her fear of getting something wrong. It certainly helped that her captive audience of toddlers seems to love everything she did. Piper and Jason always seemed to giggle when she reads the lines in a sing-song voice, so Thalia goes out of her way to do it, even when the part didn’t call for it. Esperanza played rock music that allowed Thalia to scream out her frustration and dance around the kitchen in the Valdez apartment. It's a wild mass of limbs, and she doesn’t even know which language Leo is yelling in half the time. But it feels right. She has a family that loves her.

When they moved out of the mansion into a cramped apartment, Thalia told herself it didn't matter. This cold house with its glass walls and minimalist furnishings never really felt like home. The new apartment sort of did after Thalia covered her side of the room in scotch tape and pictures. She's collected evidence of everything her mother missed during her auditions, her soap operas, and eventually her hours as a waitress. There's Tristan playing ring-around-the-Rosie, and Piper refusing to wear anything not dinosaur themed. Jason smiling despite his stitches because he tried to eat a stapler. Leo stands proudly in front of his first project, little wrench still in hand. There's a slightly blurry picture of Esperanza teaching her how to make enchiladas. Thalia captured everything. Maybe someday her mother would see them and be sorry she missed this.

On Thalia’s 10th birthday, her mother didn’t give her a gift. It’s almost like she can’t see her anymore. Beryl spent the entire day reminiscing about Zeus. Thalia is not her own person. She’s her father’s black hair and startling blue eyes. She has Zeus’ determined face and his chin. Thalia is proof that in the long scheme of things, Beryl has won, won the affection of a god, and that no matter how much further they fall, no one can take that prize away from her.

Thalia didn’t particularly like the idea of being the child of a god, especially since she hasn’t seen her father since Jason was born. She wasn’t sure she truly believed it either. It seemed like just another fantasy Beryl latched onto the idea in a drunken haze. Thalia barely saw her mother sober anymore. If she was a child of a god, Thalia should feel powerful and important. Instead, she's just alone with her baby brother on her birthday.

She got birthday phone calls from both the Mcleans and the Valdezs, but they’re not here. It’s three days before Christmas after all. Esperanza’s extended family in Texas took the holiday very seriously, and Tristan finally had a long enough break from shooting to go home to Oklahoma. She smiled brightly when they gave her presents later, a leather jacket and extra cameras, and doesn’t tell them the truth that even thinking about her birthday made her heart ache.

In the weeks leading up to Jason’s fifth birthday, Beryl got worse. She didn’t acknowledge her children, wandering the house in a daze, muttering under her breath.

Thalia put on a brave face and told Jason, “Mom’s just practicing for a new role,” but she was terrified.

Thalia saw her arguing with people who aren’t there, her mother’s eyes wide and tortured. None of her pleas made any sense. "No, you can't have him. I need more time." “He’s my son, not hers! You didn’t even let me name him.” “Why can’t you protect us?”

Jason nearly threw a tantrum when Beryl suggested they have a birthday picnic. “No! We always celebrate with Piper and Leo!”

Thalia glared at her mother before kneeling to face her brother. "We'll see them tomorrow, Jay. But for now, we'll go see the woods and the stars. You'll be able to run around as much as you want."

“Really? As much as I want?”

Thalia almost groaned, knowing she'll regret those words later. She’ll have to chase him down, and Jason runs like he's practically flying.

Beryl gave her a grateful look, but Thalia didn’t return it. Sure her mother was making an effort, but they both deserve so much more after everything she has put them through.

Jason was the only one to speak the entire drive to the state park. He sang the alphabet about six times and twinkle-twinkle little star twice. But he never stopped talking, not even as Thalia unbuckled him from his car seat, and the three of them walked through the state park.

Beryl’s hands shook as she set their picnic basket by the pond. “Sweetheart, I think we forgot the blanket. Why don’t you run back to the car and grab it?”

“Sure,” Thalia shrugged. “Jason, why don’t you come with me?”

He looked ready to shout that he’ll “race her back” when Beryl put an arm around his shoulder, a sickly-sweet smile on her face. “Really, Thalia. I can watch my own son for two minutes.”

Thalia swallowed. She seemed more put together today, but her mother is an actress, and appearances can be misleading. Thalia practically ran from their spot near the ruins to the car.

It took a few minutes to realize there was no picnic blanket. Thalia wanted to think it's a coincidence that Beryl actually thought they brought the blanket, but the sinking feeling in her stomach let her know it was likely always a distraction, a wild goose chase to get her away from Jason.

Thalia slammed the trunk of the car closed. Ten minutes. How much trouble could her mother cause in ten minutes? She ran until her lungs hurt, her heart throbbing in her chest. The path was uneven under her worn-out sneakers. Thalia tripped over a tree root and barely noticed her scraped knee as she set off again. It felt hard to breathe, but Thalia isn't sure if that's coming from her worry or her running.

Upon first glance, the meadow with the ruins of the old house was empty. As Thalia got closer, she saw her mother hunched over on the ground. Beryl was sobbing like she would never run out of tears. She’s alone.

Thalia couldn’t help but shake her mother desperately, “What’d you do? Where is he? How could you?” The questions rolled out of her uncontrollably.

She was barely gone ten minutes, but it felt like something has drastically changed.

“Hera claimed him. He’s as good as dead.” Beryl was able to manage between sobs.

Her mother had no right to cry. She didn’t know Jason, not really, not the way Thalia did. She didn’t know that Jason liked to pretend he can fly and preferred the Buzz Lightyear band-aids when he inevitably scrapes himself up jumping from furniture or the playground equipment to demonstrate. She didn’t know that Jason liked to build block towers just as much as Piper did, but he liked knocking them over more because he got to roar like a dinosaur or howl like a wolf. She didn’t know about the bird’s nest Jason decided to camp outside protecting because he was worried the mama bird wouldn’t come back. Thalia knows those things. She thinks he’s the most important person in the universe and now he’s gone.

They stayed for two hours. Thalia combed every inch of the area, looked behind every tree, in every bush. She screamed Jason’s name until she can’t anymore. When Beryl dragged her away from the site, Thalia didn’t even have the energy to fight her.

The drive home was oddly silent without Jason’s chatter.

Beryl disappeared into the confines of her bedroom as soon as they got home. She would wallow in her own grief away from her remaining child. Beryl knew Thalia deserved to be comforted, but she also knew that people seldom got what they deserved.

Thalia ran to her spot behind the kitchen counter. She wished it was a normal day as she picked up the phone. She wanted to just be able to call Esmeralda and tell her that her mother was having a rough day, to ask that someone come pick up Jason and her. But this time was different. This time Thalia calls 911.

The police cars pulled up to their apartment in a flurry of sound and lights. Thalia can’t move from her spot behind the counter even when they demanded someone open the door. She hugged herself tightly as her mother opened the door.

"Really, Officer, I don't understand what the problem is," Beryl said earnestly but firmly kept them outside.

“We have a report of a missing child from a Miss Thalia Grace.”

Thalia can’t see her mother’s face, but her mask must not firmly be in place. They knew something was wrong, even as Beryl attempted to push them away. "Oh, that's just my daughter. What a frightful imagination she has. I'm sure it's nothing, Officers. I'm sorry for bothering-.”

A female officer cut off Beryl's apology. "Even If it's just a simple mistake, it's still best that we talk to her. We'll even let her know that this isn't the sort of thing to joke about."

Thalia felt her tears grow heavier at that. There is no way she could ever joke about this, not with a memory of her baby brother singing twinkle twinkle little star running through her head.

The officer walked past a reluctant Beryl into the apartment. Her partner, a Hispanic man with greying hair, stayed with her mother as she sought out Thalia. The blonde woman didn't need to look far before she found her curled in a ball in the corner against the lower cabinets. Thalia was a mess, covered in scrapes and dirt from her time spent searching for her brother. The officer gingerly sat down across from her.

“You must be Thalia. I’m Officer Joan. You did a really good job calling us tonight. I know you told the person on the phone a little bit of what happened, but can you tell me everything please?”

Thalia’s words spilled out of her, a desperate flood of information on the off chance that literally anything is even the slightest bit helpful in finding Jason. She didn’t know if these people even can help. This felt strange, like her one-eyed classmates or her mother begging people who aren’t there, but Thalia needed them to be able to do the impossible anyway. She won’t ever forgive herself if the police could have done something and they didn’t

When she finished, Officer Joan nodded to her partner before helping Thalia to her feet. "Now, I know this isn't going to be fun, but we need to take your mom to the station so we can ask her more questions.

Thalia nodded, slightly unsure. She understood, but every second that someone wasn’t looking for her brother was time he could spend hurt. Why weren’t they moving faster?

“Do you have someone you can stay with while we do that? A relative?”

When the police car pulled up to the Valdez apartment, it is seven hours since she last saw her brother. Thalia thinks it isn’t possible to cry anymore. She’s done almost nothing but cry since Jason disappeared. She used up all her tears.

Esperanza answered the door with a look of confusion on her face. Her curls were already wrapped in a purple headscarf. Her fingers kept her thin robe closed over her nightdress. The look of confusion turned to one of worry when she saw Thalia. Officer Joan briefly explained the situation, but Esperanza never truly took her eyes off Thalia’s face.

“Tally!” Leo exclaimed as he saw the people at the front door. He peered around their legs eagerly before the smile fell from his face. “Where’s Jay?”

Thalia broke down into a fresh set of tears.

“Leo, why don’t you go pick out another book to read while I get Thalia settled?” The little boy looked confused. Thalia and Jason were a package set. If Thalia was here, his best friend should be too.

Esperanza pulled Thalia into a tight hug. "Oh, sweetheart, everything's going to be alright. You just let it out. I know it's been a hard day."

Esperanza maneuvered the two of them, so they're sitting on the sagging couch, all the while clutching her tightly. Esperanza wrapped her in a blanket and fixed some hot chocolate before she finally left to put Leo to bed.

After Leo’s safely asleep, Esperanza came back with a washcloth and a glass of water. She doesn’t force Thalia to say anything. She merely wiped away the grime of the day from her face before gently helping the girl lay down with her head in Esperanza’s lap. She ran her fingers through Thalia’s short hair until the girl settled into an uneasy sleep.

The police come back the next day. She remembered getting frustrated that they were here again, asking her the same questions instead of being out there finding her brother, but the rest of the interview is a blur. She sat on the couch, watching the rain pound harshly against the glass. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky, and Thalia prayed to whoever may be listening that Jason is somewhere safe and dry. The thunder didn’t stop all day.

Her mother must have been sober enough to give the performance of her life because she wasn't charged for Jason's disappearance. There is no body. It's Thalia's word against hers, and Thalia was just a kid. Still, the papers had a field day. “Who is Beryl Grace’s super-secret custody agreement with?” “Did Disgraced Soap Opera Star Kill Her Own Son?” “Where is Jason Grace?” Her brother’s face smiled at her on the cover of tabloids for weeks, and it just felt like too much.

Thalia tried to stay. She really did. She barely entered the apartment that she shared with her mother, instead crashing on Esperanza’s couch or the guest room in the Mclean house. These people seem to understand, at least. They’ve seen Beryl Grace at her worst. They believe Thalia without question. Although after Tristan gets reprimanded for drawing negative attention to himself, they don’t press the issue publicly anymore. No one says it, but the odds are Jason is dead already.

Thalia pretends she doesn’t hear Esperanza and Tristan’s frantic whispers late at night, knowing they’re talking about what to do with her. She ripped down every photo she ever put on her bedroom wall the one time she can bring herself to go back inside the room she shared with her brother. She can’t look at them, can’t see Jason grinning back at her with a red party hat holding up three fingers proudly or Jason making funny faces with Piper and Leo, without wanting to scream. Thalia tried to avoid looking at Piper and Leo’s disappointed faces. They don’t understand what’s happening, but their best friend is gone. Their little questions of “But is Jay coming back tomorrow?” break her heart. She can’t bear to stay here, but she also has nowhere else to go.

In the end, Thalia didn’t make the decision to leave so much as the monsters did.

She noticed the looming shadows before she saw them. Thalia ducked behind a mailbox to get a better look at them. They're over double her size, with wild eyes, pointy teeth, and hairy arms covered in tattoos. Their clothes wouldn’t look too out of place at a rock concert if it weren’t for their necklaces. The giants proudly wore chains with everything from beaded necklaces to gleaming weapons attached to it. Souvenirs, Thalia thought to herself. The spoils of war from the people who they killed before. She would not let herself be next.

“The hero is close. Their scent is strong.”

Thalia did not feel like a hero, especially as she studied the swords and spears that rattle against their chests. She’s only ten years old, but no one else on the street seemed to notice them.

"You better be right, brother. Halfblood is a treat, but I'm hungry now." Scraps of blood-soaked denim clung to the ogre's face.

Would they just eat whoever they come across if she didn’t come forward? This is a busy road, only a few blocks from the school. They could grab anyone; her classmates are at risk the longer she stays hidden. She knows in her bones that she’s the person they’re looking for. She may not know the word “Halfblood," but it felt right to her. Thalia wished she was in a position where she could fight, where she could leap up and just fight them. But all she has is a backpack, and as scary as math is, she didn’t think her textbook can do much damage.

Thalia was so absorbed in trying to think of an escape plan, something that both didn't draw attention to herself and minimized the casualties, that she didn't notice the hand inching toward the mailbox until it was too late. She jumped back.

The giants leered at her. “Little hero. I see we won’t have to wait long for dinner.”

She’s not an especially fast runner, but she is small enough to maneuver quickly, to change paths even as they lumbered toward her. They recognized that they could not win on speed alone. They use the very features of the street as projectiles. The giants lift cars as if they weigh nothing. Shop awnings fall in their grasp. Thalia did everything she could to avoid them.

Still, it was not enough. The stoplight may not have hit her, but she needed extra time to jump around it to avoid the sparks flying off it. It was time she did not have to lose.

Thalia can’t explain why she did it. Her back was against the rough concrete wall. She was out of options. So Thalia raised her right hand and directed it toward the closer giant. She just wanted a way out of here, any way. The lightning flashed until there was nothing left of the giant but the smell of burning flesh and his spoils of war.

“Child of Zeus, you shall pay for that.” He lunged for her, but missed, his hand impeding deep into the wall behind her.

Thalia swallowed, surprised despite the absurdity of her current situation that her mother was telling the truth. A god. Her father really had been a god. After Jason had disappeared, Thalia had completely dismissed the notion. What sort of god didn’t even protect his own son?

"I will have revenge, godling." The remaining giant ripped one of the streetlamps up from the base. It flew to her left, even if the miss was a little too close for comfort.

Thalia tried to recreate the feeling, the tug in her stomach, but no matter what she did, she could not summon more lightning. She had another option, though. The giant may have disappeared, but his necklace of souvenirs had not.

Thalia tugged a spear loose from the chain. It feels right in her hand.

“There is no escape, little hero. I will feast on your bones.”

Thalia didn’t have any time to think as the monster stalked forward. There was no time to worry about all the ways this can go wrong, that she's never held a spear, let alone thrown one. She flung the spear with all her might, hoping it would go straight.

Amazingly it did, and the Laistrygonian howled as he disappeared.

Even as the ogre crumbled into dust, Thalia kept panicking. He said her scent was strong, which meant more monsters would be coming. What would happen if she was with Piper and Leo next time? They were just little kids. Plus, Tristan and Esperanza had gone out of their way since they’d met to make sure that she was safe and loved. It wasn’t fair to involve them or put them at risk.

Thalia couldn't be here the next time a monster attacked. She wasn't going to let them get hurt. Thalia couldn't watch someone else she loved die and know she could have prevented it. She had to gather some supplies first, but then she was leaving. If the price to pay for her family’s safety was never seeing them again, she’d gladly pay it.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo/hoo #hoo #thalia grace #jason grace #leo valdez #piper mclean #my fic #Esperanza Valdez #because she's an icon in this #silima #moh tag #because I think you told people it was alright to tag you in content we hoped people would see #my writing

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astrcldust · 7 years ago

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loving her was red

Read on Ao3

Summary: Piper’s relationship with Annabeth was like heaven. She’d never in her life dreamed of something as great as them. But as all good things must come to an end, the two were violently separated. Piper can’t take it. She reminisces on the good, the bad, and the ugly of her and the blonde that stole her heart. Losing her was blue. Missing her was dark gray. But loving her was red.

Words: 14,686

Notes: Here’s my fic for @pjofemslashminibang!! I worked pretty hard on this and I’m quite proud of it. My partner was @gaynalypso, check out her edit! I hope you enjoy <3

Thoughts. Piper tried to not let the thoughts consume her mind. She was fairly well trained at it. The mind could be easily distracted. Give it some insignificant task to complete and it’ll drop whatever was plaguing its thoughts and numb everything. But there was only so many things to do to distract yourself. The thing is, what you weren’t trying to think about always came back in some way. The more you try not to think of something, the more you can’t stop thinking about it. No matter how much Piper tried to erase her mind, no matter how desperately she craved for nothing to remain, it was always back.

She’d gotten used to feeling empty inside. Yet, she was filled with emotion. What do you do when you feel everything and nothing all at the same time? Being alone in her bedroom didn’t help much either. She tried to distance herself from everything. The public. The internet. She’d rather distract herself with things like books or art. Sometimes other people and technology just made her feel worse. But that left her so alone. Too alone. And so, the thoughts remained.

Piper didn’t even want to say her name. She spelled out the letters in her mind. A-N-N-A-B-E-T-H C-H-A-S-E. Just the very thought of that name tugged at Piper’s heartstrings. The girl that made Piper feel. The one who made Piper feel as if she was flying and crashing to the ground. She suddenly felt a cold chill wash over her body. Piper gripped her blanket tightly in her hands and brought it up and around her shoulders. The blanket became her sanctuary. She used it to block out everything.

All of a sudden, Piper had an epiphany. Could you really call it that? It was more of a mere thought. Yet in Piper’s world, it meant so much more than it seemed. Piper had experience with bottling up her emotions. It never went well. She crammed and crammed feelings into a bottle that would inevitably burst at what was most likely the worst time for her to break. Maybe if she allowed herself to think, allowed herself to feel, allowed herself to cry, the pain might just go away.

Piper took a deep breath and shut her eyes tight. Closing her eyes seemed to help with intense emotions. With the smallest bit of regret, Piper began to break down the mind walls she’d worked so hard to build up. She let thoughts and memories wiggle their way through the cracks and escape to the front of her mind. The girl felt another tug on her heartstrings as she let the familiar yet so far away girl enter her daydreams.

“Loving her is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street.

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly.”

Piper remembered it like it was yesterday. She sat at the empty table for two with her warm fall coffee. She only ever liked Starbucks during the fall, actually. The autumn drinks were probably in Piper’s top ten list of things she’d die for. She didn’t mind the lonely table either. She’d gotten used to it. Jason and Leo never had time to go out for coffee anymore. They were busy with work. Not that Piper wasn’t, she was just a terrible procrastinator. The girl took a sip of her drink and placed it on the table. She then noticed the woman making her way towards her table. Piper’s heart rate immediately began to speed up. The girl had long, curly blonde princess locks pulled up into a ponytail and the stormiest, most intimidating gray eyes Piper had ever seen. She wore a casual blue blazer with a white undershirt and jeans. The girl was absolutely gorgeous in her own special way. “Shit,” Piper whispered, hoping the girl hadn’t heard her very eloquent choice of vocabulary as their first interaction.

To her delight and/or horror, the girl approached her. Piper worried her cute smile would blind her. How could someone get their teeth so white? “Is this seat taken? The rest of the café is full so I was wondering if I could sit with you. It’s alright if you want to be alone, though,” the girl spoke.

Piper almost choked on her own words. “Uhm, yeah it’s fi-I mean the seat’s not taken I- you can sit down.” Piper mentally slapped herself at how stupid that “could you even call it a sentence” was. That was the best impression she could do? The girl didn’t seem to notice though, as she sat down and placed her drink on the table, unfazed. It looked like tea, but Piper was unsure.

“I’m Annabeth.” The girl introduced herself. “Annabeth Chase.” She even had a pretty name. Curse this girl for being so appealing.

“Piper McLean,” She replied, the corners of her lips tugging upwards slightly.

“Like the actor?” Annabeth asked. She seemed inquisitive. Like she wanted to know all the secrets of the world. Piper got the impression that she was smart. Incredibly so.

“Yep, it’s me, the famous daughter of Tristan McLean,” Piper said, a “hint” of sarcasm blended into those words. She hated introducing herself as her father’s daughter. It wasn’t like she hated being his kid, she loved her father dearly. But, she couldn’t stand the reactions of some people.

“Really? I thought I recognized you from somewhere. Maybe you were on the news once. Must be nice having a famous dad.”

Piper laughed. “Yeah, it’s great being the delinquent daughter overshadowed by her father’s talents. And damn, I gotta work on my disguise if you recognized me.” It wasn’t technically a lie. She did try and make herself look as normal as possible in public. Not only was she the daughter of an actor, but she was pretty attractive. Piper wasn’t being narcissistic. She knew it was true, and absolutely hated that truth. All anyone cared about was her looks. Nobody ever asked her what she liked or tried to get to know her. Only questions about her dad and compliments on her appearance. (She appreciated the compliments, but they were excessive). Bless Leo and Jason. They were some of the few people that got her.

Annabeth’s laugh rang through Piper’s ears and she was disappointed when it ended. She wanted to keep hearing that endearing laugh all her life. Was that a crazy thought? Piper brushed it off. “Well if it makes you feel any better, I didn’t sit here ‘cause I thought you were the daughter of an actor. I sat here ‘cause there were no more seats.”

“Ha ha very funny. I can see some empty seats, so you sit on a throne of lies.”

Annabeth shrugged. “You got me. Is it illegal for a girl to sit with a cute girl she finds in a coffee shop?” Piper immediately felt her face flush. She never blushed so naturally. How could Annabeth do this so effortlessly? This compliment felt different than the ones she usually received. This one was genuine.

“Oh, I-uh, no I guess not,” Piper stuttered but smiled at her own stupidity. The red tint on her cheeks seemed to refuse to disappear. Annabeth must have noticed. She seemed observant and you definitely couldn’t miss it. Oh well, let her look. Even if Annabeth saw it, their conversation carried on.

Piper was surprised at how smoothly it went. She’d never had such an in-depth conversation with a stranger. Even if it was just about college and pets and family, it seemed special. Piper hadn’t hit it off with someone that well since she met Leo and Jason in high school. And there was something different about Annabeth. She made Piper’s heart feel like it was on a never ending roller coaster, constantly going up, down, and in a loop. Piper had to resist smiling to herself when she watched Annabeth excitedly ramble about her future career in architecture and how she wanted to build something permanent. Piper found out she was a huge nerd, which wasn’t that surprising. Piper couldn’t really talk, she was a super-geek. And even though she didn’t understand what Annabeth was talking about when she mentioned her blueprints, she loved watching the blonde move her hands up and down as she spoke. Piper could get used to this feeling.

“Piper?” Annabeth said, jerking Piper out of her trance. She realized she’d been staring at Annabeth. Embarrassing. She then realized her phone was ringing, and her ringtone was none other than the Attack On Titan theme. Embarrassing times two. Piper quickly grabbed her phone and answered, shutting the load anime music off.

“Hello,” she grunted frantically.

“Hey Piper, where are you?” It was Jason. “We have that science test in thirty minutes.”

“Crap,” Piper muttered. She’d lost track of time and didn't realize she had an exam. “I'm at a coffee place. I'll be there as soon as I can. Stall for me if I'm late?”

“I'm sure Leo will.” He then hung up. Annabeth looked concerned, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“I have a test in half an hour, so I gotta run. Sorry to cut...this off.”

“Oh, that’s okay.” Piper knew she had to, but she really didn't want to leave. She loved talking to Annabeth, and really wanted to keep doing it. She wanted to keep contacting the cute girl from the coffee shop, so she then did something she never thought she would have. She pulled a pen out of her pocket, snatched Annabeth’s now empty coffee cup, and scrawled her number onto it. Piper placed the cup back down and stood.

“Bye!” She waved and then hurried off. Piper couldn't help but look back as she was leaving the café and saw a warm smile on Annabeth’s face. Piper’s face flushed, and she couldn't help grinning as well. Well, now she was really going to flunk the test. Thoughts of the cute coffee shop girl overshadowed any previous learning.

...

“Leo I have NOTHING good to wear,” Piper complained as she searched through her closet. Who knew she had so many t-shirts and jeans? Did she own anything remotely nice? Appearance was never her thing but she should have at least something.

Leo, who was sitting on her bed, shrugged. “If it matters so much just borrow something from Drew.” Piper rolled her eyes. She and her roommate Drew had a rocky start when Piper first came to college, but they soon learned to tolerate each other and actually became friends. But Piper knew if she even mentioned wanting to wear something nice to Drew she’d go absolutely crazy and insist on giving Piper a makeover.

“No way. She'll beat my face with makeup until I look like a clown.”

Leo laughed. “I'm sure you’d look fine. Besides, it's just a date.”

Piper turned away from the closet and gestured desperately to the boy across from her. “A date with the really cute girl who I've been texting for a while and who I've been pining over!” It had been a month and a half since Piper and Annabeth met at the coffee shop. That night after her exam, Piper had gotten a message from Annabeth. After she managed not to physically combust, she texted back. Before Piper knew it, the two were staying up until unholy hours of the morning talking. Piper loved talking to Annabeth, whether in person or over text. The two had met up a couple times as well. It wasn't anything special. Just video games, food, and a movie. But it meant the world to Piper. Now, she’d finally found the courage to ask Annabeth out. To Piper’s surprise, the girl said yes. Now, she had to make sure not to mess it up. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at this ‘Mr. I Flirt With Everyone I See?’”

Leo scoffed. “Okay, that was years ago. Don’t bring up my dark days.”

“Buddy I hate to break it to you but they’re still going strong.” Piper turned back to her closet and continued pushing her clothes aside in search of something. Just as she was about to give up hope, her eyes caught a pink and yellow romper hanging in the back, pushed behind a million t-shirts. Since when did she have that? It wasn’t exactly her style but was probably the nicest thing she owned. Piper grabbed the hanger and pulled it out, examining it further. She then held it up to her body, silently asking for Leo’s approval. With a thumbs up from her friend, Piper decided that’s what she would wear.

Saying getting ready was a hassle would be an understatement. Of course, Leo refused to leave. Even when she tried a bit of makeup. It wasn’t for her, and Annabeth didn’t like makeup either. Piper had finally said goodbye to Leo when her alarm blared, telling her it was time for the date. The girls had agreed beforehand to meet up at the center of a town near their campuses. Luckily, their colleges were near each other. Annabeth had told Piper she’d been planning to transfer to hers before the two met. The plan was still in the works, but it’d be great if Annabeth was in the same building as her.

Piper leaned up against a tree, swaying side to side a bit. She felt anxiousness bubble up inside of her as she waited for the blonde’s presence. Her mind started to wander to a place it should never wander to before a date. Piper started to think Annabeth wouldn't show up. Maybe she didn't want to go out with Piper after all. Was this a mistake?

She was once again jolted out of her trance by the sound of Annabeth’s voice. “Hey, Pipes.” Piper smiled. She loved the nickname Annabeth gave her almost immediately during their text conversations. Annabeth’s outfit was simple. A flowing gray shirt, a fashionable belt, and skinny jeans. Her hair was pinned up into her signature ponytail. Piper felt herself feeling awestruck by her sheer presence. There would never be a day Piper wouldn’t be entranced by Annabeth.

“Hi Annabeth,” Piper said, a little shyly at first. It wasn't like she was afraid. At least she wasn't the other times they hung out. Something about it being a date made it much different.

“So, where too?” Annabeth cocked her head to the side and Piper had to keep from imploding due to cuteness.

“Um, I was thinking we could go to the diner down the street and then see a movie?” Piper wasn't the best at planning dates and going with someone as amazing as Annabeth made it a lot harder. She hoped Annabeth would agree to the idea since she had nothing else in mind.

“That sounds great. Let’s go.” Annabeth smiled, flashing her white teeth. Piper couldn't help but smile as well. All her nerves seemed to melt away. Annabeth eased her mind and made her feel okay.

The two walked together in silence through town, basking in each other's presence. Piper found herself sneaking glances at Annabeth’s hand. It swung with her arm as she walked, open for Piper to just...grab. It was so easy, yet why was it so hard. Piper forced herself to look forward. Staring at Annabeth wouldn't do good.

Looking forward didn't help much either. Piper just couldn't stop. She thought about what it’d be like to hold the girl next to her. To kiss her senselessly. To get to know all about her. That future was possible. Piper just had to manage not to mess up.

Annabeth seemed to notice Piper’s glances and the two made awkwardly long eye contact. Annabeth then reached over and laced Piper’s hand with hers. Piper immediately felt a burst of electricity flow through her body and her face flushed bright red. She was relieved when she saw Annabeth had a similar blush adorning her cheeks as well. Annabeth’s hand felt warm and seemed to fit perfectly with hers. Piper felt quite content walking with Annabeth, but some nerves still crept up behind her with the newfound touch.

“Is this okay?” Piper asked, turning towards Annabeth. She made eye contact with Piper, her curls bouncing with the movement of her head.

“It’s more than okay,” she said. Piper could’ve sworn her heart melted at that point. The girls reached the diner all too soon and had to part as they entered through the door. Piper breathed in the familiar busy diner smell. She’d been coming to the restaurant ever since she began college, and even though it wasn’t near home it made her feel like she was back with her father in a small diner eating pancakes and talking about life.

The two girls took their seats in a two-person booth near the window. A waitress with bouncy bright blue hair gave them their menus and left them to look through their options. Piper scanned the menu, looking for something she’d enjoy. Piper’s eyes then caught the drink menu, more specifically what the restaurant dubbed the “double milkshake.” A milkshake for two. Piper tried not to laugh at the idea of romantically sharing a milkshake with Annabeth. It was the cheesiest and gayest thing to do so naturally, Piper spoke up about it. “I have an idea. Look at the milkshakes.”

Annabeth proceeded to say sure and then flip her menu to the drink section. Her eyes rolled down the page until Piper saw them widen. Piper smirked knowingly and met Annabeth’s eyes as she looked up. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Annabeth asked.

“Absolutely.” Piper nodded and the two girls burst out laughing. Through fits of giggles, Piper managed to get out, “Hey, it’s the gayest option and I need to live up to my title!”

That got Annabeth to laugh more. “I understand that. And yes, sharing a milkshake is definitely the gayest thing to go with.” Piper couldn’t help her smile as she ordered the milkshake when the waitress came back. The girls decided on strawberry, both agreeing that it was singlehandedly the best milkshake flavor, chocolate being a close second. They both ordered pancakes as well, seeing as the diner allowed you to order breakfast for lunch. Breakfast at any time that wasn’t meant for breakfast just made it better.

When the waitress left, Piper started a small conversation with Annabeth. She started with schoolwork and the words flowed on from there. Piper loved how easy it was to talk to Annabeth. She could talk to the girl before her for hours and never get bored. Piper wanted to know all about her.

Their conversation was cut when their milkshake arrived. It was a large cup filled to the brim with pink liquid and whipped cream, with two matching cherries atop. The girls smiled at the sight of it and placed it in the middle of the table. Piper grabbed a straw in unison with Annabeth and they both took a drink. It tasted like heaven. Piper had to keep from making sounds that probably wouldn’t be acceptable in a public restaurant. “That…is a good milkshake,” she said after leaning back from her sip.

Annabeth nodded fast and agreed. “I think this is the best milkshake I’ve ever had.”

Piper smirked. “I know, my taste is amazing. No need to thank me.”

Annabeth laughed. “Good, ‘cause I wasn’t planning on it.”

Piper faked an overly offended face by placing her hand on her heart, which just got the girls to smile even more. They then leaned in for another sip of the drink. Piper couldn’t help but notice how close their faces were. She stared at Annabeth’s lips against the straw and then back up at her eyes. She was looking down at the shake but Piper could see hints of the storm in her eyes that Piper could spend days getting lost in. She felt another blush creeping across her ears and onto her cheeks and it only heightened when Annabeth’s eyes fluttered back up and stared at Piper’s. The girls stayed like that for a few extra seconds, basking in each other's presence. To a stranger, it’d look like they were madly in love. Maybe not just yet, but the capacity for that kind of love was more than present.

An inevitable awkward feeling took over after those couple moments of bliss, leading Piper and Annabeth to lean backward into their seats. Both stuttered in their conversation, neither one noticing the other’s flustered appearance, too caught up in their own. Piper would give anything for more moments like that. Little did she know, those could come up even sooner when they drank more and even after their time at the diner.

Piper didn’t realize how hungry she was until she wolfed down her pancakes. She must’ve looked like some sort of wild creature to Annabeth, but hey, that’s who she was. Annabeth was no better with pacing anyways. She ate almost as fast as Piper. She brought up something about her friend who enjoyed drowning his (blue?) pancakes in syrup and she couldn’t stand how much he put on. That got Piper to laugh and almost pour on too much syrup herself.

After paying for their meal the girls exit the diner and started heading towards the movie theater. They debated on what they should watch for a while before they picked. Nothing particularly interesting was out at the time but it didn’t matter to them. All that mattered was that they were seeing a movie together, and sharing popcorn no less. Piper’s little sapphic heart seemed to soar when Annabeth ordered the large popcorn. Everything was going great. They even held hands again on the way there. Piper decided that nothing could be better than that.

She was wrong. Oh so wrong. The movie wasn’t the most interesting choice per say, and the girls found themselves whispering to each other all throughout it. Annabeth loved to point out the flaws in the plot and the interesting architecture. Piper just thought the main character should’ve fallen in love with her best friend and not Mr. Pasty Blank Edgy Boy.

Piper soon turned her attention away from the movie and onto Annabeth. She loved the glossy look her eyes had as she paid attention to all the small details. Frankly, Piper thought it was adorable. She looked down to see Annabeth’s hand laying in the popcorn bag. It was slowly grabbing at pieces, but not moving out of the bag. Piper saw her opportunity and did the most cliché thing she could think off. She stuck her hand in the bag and faked searching for popcorn while secretly aiming for Annabeth’s hand. Luckily, Annabeth was too engrossed in the visuals on the screen to notice Piper wasn’t actually cluelessly reaching. Their fingers then touched and Piper wrapped hers around Annabeth’s.

Annabeth turned to look at Piper. Piper raised her eyes and they once again stared at each other. Time seemed to slow down in that moment. The sound of the movie was a blur as all they could focus on was each other. Piper’s eyes went from Annabeth’s eyes to her lips and then back up to her stormy gray irises. Annabeth exhaled softly. Piper did the same as she leaned in over the seat. Annabeth seemed to do the same and the two girls met in the middle. Their lips locked in a chaste kiss. Piper’s heart immediately started to beat a mile a minute as she took in Annabeth’s sweet scent and presence. Piper could taste a layer of chapstick and popcorn on Annabeth’s lips. She broke the kiss for a moment for both of them to breathe and immediately connected again. Piper then deepened it by placing her hand on Annabeth’s cheek. The kiss ended all too soon when the two parted, still staring at the other. A smile encompassed Piper’s lips. Annabeth wore an identical one.

Annabeth then touched Piper’s lips with her finger and held up a piece of popcorn. Although confused for a moment, Piper caught her drift. Annabeth tossed the popcorn and Piper leaned to the left, swiftly catching the piece in her mouth. Annabeth covered her own mouth with her hand, no doubt stifling a laugh. At that moment, Piper felt so lucky to have Annabeth in her life. She could feel a waterfall of feelings begin to break through and only sensed it growing stronger in the future. Piper wanted to kiss Annabeth over and over again. She wanted her lips to become a sense of familiarity to her. She wished for Annabeth's touch against her skin. She wanted long evenings where they sat and talked about life together in the dead of night with only the other to hold. Piper wanted it all.

Oh, how she had no idea what was in store.

“Loving her is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall. Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all.

Touching her was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorizing her was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song.”

Piper never got used to that feeling in her gut. The thumping in her heart whenever she laid eyes on the girl before her. The way she could never stop the nerves that grew when she wanted to hold Annabeth’s hand and the reassurance given when the blonde grabbed and squeezed it. The look Annabeth gave her like Piper was her world. Like she was all that mattered to her. Piper never got used to it. And she didn’t think she ever would.

Being with Annabeth was like a never ending spiral where Piper just kept falling for her over and over again. She was infatuated. Everything about Annabeth intrigued her. Her hair. Her lips. Her eyes. Her passion. Her intelligence. Her pride. Piper longed to feel Annabeth’s presence next to her, against her side. She imagined the warm feeling. So, Piper did the logical thing and texted her.

Piper wasn’t sure if she’d be able to come to her dorm. They weren’t even in the same building. She hoped Annabeth would be able to, though. Studying had got the best of her and she really craved some cuddles. She stared blankly at the textbook in front of her, the TV blaring in the background, and checking her phone for Annabeth’s response every thirty seconds. When she finally heard the ding of the text she completely abandoned the book altogether. Piper couldn’t help but cheer quietly to herself. Annabeth’s text told her that she’d be there in about fifteen minutes. Too long, in Piper’s opinion. How was she supposed to wait any longer?

Piper got up from her desk, pushing her textbook aside. It wasn’t important. She sat on her small couch and stared up at the TV. Luckily, she had the dorm to herself tonight. Drew was no doubt out at some bar with Lacy and Calypso. Piper tried to focus on the television, but her mind kept wandering to the girl that would soon be by her side.

Everything had happened so fast. So unexpectedly. Piper smiled as she recalled the date’s her and Annabeth had shared over the past few months. She thought of the walks in the park with the shared snacks. The soft handholding and forehead kisses. When Piper had to pull Annabeth away from her work and held her until she got some rest. The shared kisses over a pizza at a restaurant table. The laughing that Piper had grown to love. Piper loved it all.

Memories floated through her mind as she sat for the next fifteen minutes. Most being of or about Annabeth. She wasn't able to escape Leo and Jason’s teasing and she hadn't even told Drew. She must have thought Piper was exceptionally weird all the times she smiled down at her phone like an absolute idiot. Thankfully, Drew hadn't questioned her about it yet. If Piper told, she’d definitely join the dark side with Jason and Leo.

Piper immediately sprang up from her seat when she heard a knock at the door. She quickly smoothed out her oversized t-shirt and ran her hand through her hair. She clearly didn't consider what she was wearing. Oh well, it didn't matter. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, pulling it open to see Annabeth standing before her. Piper couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. Annabeth looked almost as messy as Piper. Her hair was left down instead of in its signature ponytail and she adorned a long blue t-shirt with gray shorts.

“Hey,” Piper greeted.

“Hey, yourself.” Annabeth invited herself in as Piper closed the door. Piper watched her eyes scan the scattered clothes and books. Piper hadn't cleaned the floor either. “It's almost as messy as my life.”

Piper laughed. “And my hair.” She draped herself over the couch she was just sitting in, secretly hoping Annabeth would join her. The blonde stood with her hand on her hip. Extremely cute, as always.

“So you felt lonely and prayed to any and all beings that I'd oblige and come over, huh?”

Piper shrugged. “Exactly.” She couldn't lie, Annabeth was pretty good at reading others’ intentions.

“Well you bet your ass it worked,” Annabeth said as she plopped down next to Piper. Her heart flipped over in her chest as she silently cheered. The two girls sat in silence for awhile, staring aimlessly at the TV while stealing glances at each other.

“Uh, do you wanna do anything?” Piper asked tentatively.

Annabeth shook her head. “I'm tired. Too many exams. Let’s rest.

Piper agreed, “Yeah, let’s rest.” Piper concentrated on what was playing on television for the first time. It was a Harry Potter movie, the fourth one, she thought. Interesting enough, but not comparable to the girl next to her. Piper devoted only half of her attention on the film, the rest focusing on the girl next to her.

About five minutes later, Piper subconsciously leaned to the right, her head falling and resting on Annabeth’s chest. Piper looked up at Annabeth, meeting her eyes as a blush spread across her cheeks. An identical blush adorned Annabeth’s face. Piper was met with a smile and Annabeth’s around her, resting on her leg. Piper turned her head back to the television, snuggling in further. Cuddles with Annabeth were what she desired and she was damn well going to appreciate them.

Piper had grown to know Annabeth’s assertive side. Yet she could be so soft as well. Piper loved the feeling of Annabeth’s fingers on her thigh. She could hear every single beat of her heart, thumping in her chest. Piper still didn't understand what Annabeth could do to her mind. Annabeth made her feel dizzy and entranced. Loved and worth it. Crazy and stupidly enveloped in every touch.

The movie dragged on, but the girls’ attention moved away from it. They proceeded to talk and joke with each other, making their time together well spent. Their conversation seemed to make time fly, as it usually did when they were together. The movie soon ended, though neither girl really noticed or cared.

“So the movie ended,” Annabeth said. Her hands ran through Piper’s hair as she spoke. “Do you wanna stay on the couch?”

“Mhm,” Piper leaned up so their faces were about level, curse Annabeth for being taller, still pressed against her side. “What about we do something else, though?”

Annabeth’s smirk made Piper feel giddy. “I suppose we should.” Scratch that. Her mischievous tone made Piper feel very giddy. Piper wasted no time, cupping Annabeth’s cheeks and bringing her closer. Piper’s eyes fluttered closed when she felt the touch of Annabeth’s lips. Her hands moved from the blonde’s cheeks to her shoulders, gripping them loosely. Annabeth’s hands pressed against Piper’s stomach, causing them to lean back and forth as they kissed. Piper tasted remnants of chapstick mixing from both of their lips. It was sweet, like her girlfriend. Piper moved away for a moment for the girls to catch their breath, but they immediately came together again. Piper leaned forward, deepening the kiss. Annabeth began to lean back on the couch, allowing Piper to move on her lap and kiss her from above. Annabeth’s sleeve slipped over her shoulder as they moved with each other. Piper never wanted the kiss to end. She ran her fingers over Annabeth’s shoulder and took another breath, their lips brushing as she inhaled.

Piper only realized what was about to happen when she heard the click of the apartment door unlocking and the sound of her roommate making her way in. She silently cursed to herself as she realized there was nothing she could do. Drew’s shrill scream echoed through the room as she dropped whatever she was holding. Piper immediately bounced off of Annabeth and met eyes with the stunned girl. She looked like she’d just gotten home from a club, slightly messed up makeup covering her face and her heels on the ground. Shit, what time is it? Piper thought as she checked the clock. One in the morning. Time really did fly with Annabeth.

Drew’s shocked expression changed to something smug as she noticed Annabeth. Piper then realized how suggestive their appearances were. Both of their hair was a tangled mess, Annabeth’s shirt was falling off and Piper’s seemed to be stuck in her bra, revealing her midriff. Drew put her hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at Piper. “So is this who you’ve been obsessively texting all this time? I didn’t realize you two were so...close.”

Piper rolled her eyes. “Dammit Drew this is why I didn’t tell you.” Annabeth burst out laughing. Piper didn’t really understand why, but she began to laugh as well. The whole situation was pretty ridiculous.

Drew raised her hands in surrender. “Fine! I won’t bother you! But next time you invite a girl over at one in the morning don’t expect me to not poke fun.”

“Don’t worry Drew, I don’t mind teasing. I’m gonna be here a lot, aren’t I?” Annabeth joked as well, only intensifying Piper’s growing blush. Piper weakly hit Annabeth’s arm as her cheeks grew hot. Drew’s laugh filled the room this time, no doubt aimed towards Piper.

“You’re not allowed to do that in front of Drew! She’ll have blackmail material in a heartbeat!”

“Yep.” Drew winked with the sound of her phone snapping a photo. Piper groaned and sat down next to Annabeth, although she was stifling a laugh. She introduced Annabeth to Drew and they actually had a pretty civil conversation. Drew, of course, wanted to know all the information on their relationship and Piper eventually obliged. She explained how they got together and Drew claimed it was something out of a romance novel. Piper realized how lucky she was to have that. What were the odds of a chance coffee shop encounter turning into an intense roller coaster of feelings? After they were done talking, which lasted who knows how long, Annabeth had to head home because of the late time. The girls stood at the door together to part ways.

“I had a good time,” Annabeth said. “Even when Drew walked in on us. It was actually pretty funny.”

Piper smirked. “Yeah, get used to it. I don’t think Drew will ever let me hear the end of this.”

“That’s for sure.” Piper paused for a moment to push a curl behind Annabeth’s ear. She had to keep from smiling as she saw the blonde’s ears turn a red tint. She leaned through the doorway to kiss her girlfriend quickly, backing away a couple seconds afterward so they wouldn’t get distracted. Annabeth smiled as her gray eyes shone and returned a kiss to Piper, this time on her nose.

“Bye. See you soon.” Annabeth was off just after the little kiss. Piper’s cheeks felt red hot, she must have been blushing intensely. Now that she thought about it, she’d been doing that a lot lately.

She was beaming again as she made her way to Drew, who was removing her makeup. They sat together in silence, neither of them really wanting to head to bed just yet. All of a sudden, Drew spoke up. “You really like her. I can tell.”

Piper raised an eyebrow at Drew. “Hmm?”

“Oh please.” Drew rolled her eyes. “I see the way you look at her.”

“Yeah, I-you’re right. I really really like her.”

Drew smiled and placed her hand on Piper’s shoulder. “Just don’t break her heart or believe me she won’t hesitate to harm yours.” With that, Drew stood up and made her way to bed, leaving Piper grinning with visions of Annabeth dancing through her head.

...

Piper’s mind shifted forward. There was so much. So so much that she wished she could dedicate all day to dwell on it. But what overfilled her mind was their one year anniversary. What a great day it was. Piper’s heart warmed just thinking about it.

The day had started with meeting up for breakfast together. They decided to go the diner they went to on their first date. You know, to be nostalgic and things like that. Although, it was much less awkward. They even shared a kiss over a shared milkshake, like they'd been wanting to do long ago.

The girls had each planned an activity for the day. One they thought the other would enjoy. Piper’s plan was first. Annabeth still didn't know where they were going when they got in the car. She tried to poke for hints during the ride, but Piper refused to budge. She was not cracking this time.

Piper couldn't help the smile that overcame her after she saw Annabeth’s face light up at the scene before her. Piper loved how her mouth formed a small “o” shape and couldn't wait to actually get out of the car.

“Here we are,” Piper said as she pulled into the parking spot. They'd been driving in the city for awhile, but Annabeth hadn't said anything yet.

“We’re going to New York?” She asked, excitement laced through her voice. Piper was still smiling as she thought of how much Annabeth wanted to go. She lived in Virginia but moved North to go to college. She always talked about how much she wanted to visit the city to see the buildings, but never got the chance because of school work.

“Yeah, I thought you'd like to go sightseeing for a little while.”

Annabeth beamed as she got out of the car. “I love it. Let's go!” The two girls walked out of the parking area hand in hand, Annabeth pulling Piper along. Piper let her lead the way. It was absolutely adorable. They started with a walk in Central Park, grabbing maps of the city along the way and looking at every tourist stand they came across. Piper had been to New York a fair amount of times, so she had some basic knowledge. Annabeth was a master though, and she'd never even been. It was impressive, to say the least.

Piper could have memorized Annabeth’s face that day. The smile that never seemed to leave her face left Piper with a warm feeling in her gut. She was amazing at one of those fancy cathedrals PIper couldn’t remember the name of. She was too distracted by Annabeth, her eyes widening as she studied the architecture. She didn't refrain from spewing fact after fact either. Piper didn't understand most of what she was saying, but she didn't care. She could watch Annabeth all day long.

Their day in the city left both girls tired. They yawned as they got in the car, despite it only being nine at night. Yet, they still had the activity Annabeth planned to do. This time the blonde drove. Piper connected the AUX cord and they drove while singing along to everything from Arianna Grande to My Chemical Romance.

After Piper’s marvelous rendition of “I Write Sins Not Tragedies,” the car pulled over. As Piper opened the door, she scanned the area before her. It was simple, a park with an assortment of trees, benches, and a lake in the middle. The only light came from the dim lamps along the water and the stars in the sky.

Annabeth walked up next to Piper and spoke. “You mentioned how romantic you thought stargazing and talking with someone would be. So I thought I’d take you here. I loved to go here whenever I felt overwhelmed or I overworked myself. The stars and lake never failed to put me at ease.”

Piper turned and kissed Annabeth’s cheek. “It’s perfect.” She loved that even after a year, she could still make Annabeth’s cheeks turn that lovely shade of pink. Hand in hand, the two girls walked to a nice patch of grass. They laid down so they faced the stars. Centimeters away from each other, Piper could feel the heat of Annabeth’s body against hers. It made her feel warm again. She decided that was one of her favorite feelings.

“I don't know any constellations,” Piper said. “But I always loved the stars. Actually, I wanted to be an astronaut at one point. Just a kid thing, though.”

Annabeth exhaled out of her nose as the corners of her lips upturned. “Me too. I think every kid wanted to explore space at one point.”

Piper laughed. “True that.”

Piper looked to her side to see Annabeth staring at the sky above. Her gray eyes focused, and her lips slightly parted. “Did you know that the star’s light takes light years to travel to us? Which means a lot of the stars we’re seeing right now are likely dead.”

Piper smiled. “You really know how to make a situation romantic, huh?”

Annabeth playfully slapped her girlfriend’s arm. “Oh, shut up.” She was smiling too. “But they are beautiful.”

The most cliché idea known to man popped into Piper’s head. So of course, she did it. “You know what else is beautiful?”

“Wha- oh my god Piper no don-”

“You,” Piper said, smirking.

“Dammit, Piper!” Annabeth laughed. “I can't believe you actually said that.”

Piper shrugged. “I mean, I made you blush.”

Annabeth’s eyes widened and her hand rose to touch her cheek. As a result, her cheeks warmed even more. Piper couldn't help the wave of giggles. Annabeth was just too cute. The blonde just rolled her eyes. “Oh, come over here.” She turned onto her side to face Piper and gripped the girl’s cheeks. Their lips locked in a chaste kiss, just like their first. It started to become messy when both girls laughed into the kiss, but they didn't mind.

Piper loved the feeling. She wanted this forever. Now, Piper almost found that funny. She envied the naive girl she was, blind to what was ahead. But at the time, she’d savored it. Piper had fallen in love. And she’d fallen damn hard.

“I love you,” she said as they parted. She met Annabeth’s stormy gray eyes turned gentle only for her. They then pressed their foreheads together. A gesture they did rarely, but loving nonetheless. They usually did it to comfort the other. This time, they were both at ease.

Annabeth whispered, “I love you too.”

“Fighting with her was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. Regretting her was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong.”

Not everything could be positive. Piper knew that first hand. But she was still afraid to explore what was coming once again. She knew what was to come, she experienced it after all. But as the walls she built in her mind slowly came down, she found herself scared to keep on going. With a deep breath, she began to try.

Her mind flashed to the moment everything started to go downhill. Both Piper and Annabeth were extremely tired after working all day. The loads teachers gave were the most overwhelming thing Piper had ever experienced. By then, Annabeth had transferred to Piper’s college. They weren’t roommates, but they spent most of their time in each other's dorms.

Piper didn't remember how it started, but an argument had arisen. Arguments were normal, healthy even. Piper and Annabeth had their fair share of them. But none were like this one. Piper could feel the tension in the air like she could cut it with a knife.

Piper finally found the courage to speak after what felt like hours of sitting in silence, flipping through a math textbook aimlessly. “D-do you wanna go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?”

“What makes you think I'd agree?” Annabeth snapped. Piper couldn't make eye contact. She knew what Annabeth was like when she was angry. She was very prideful, so being in an argument made her very jumpy and occasionally rude. Piper loved Annabeth unconditionally, but it was hard not to get hurt. They'd talked about it before, and Annabeth had worked on it. But it seemed like she was slipping back.

“I didn't want to fight-”

“Save it,” Annabeth waved her hand dismissively. “I'm not in the mood for a half-ass apology. I just want to be alone right now.”

Piper nodded. “I understand. Talk later?”

Annabeth paused for a moment and then sighed. “Yeah. Let's talk later.”

Piper gathered her books and walked to the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and glanced back at Annabeth one more time. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she scanned the words in her book. Piper’s stomach immediately felt hollow as she turned around and left.

The girl trudged to her dorm which wasn't that far away. Piper took a deep breath, and tried to calm her nerves. This would pass. Whatever this tension was would eventually go away, and everything would go back to normal. Wouldn't it?

But life seemed to want to go against Piper’s wishes. The girls texted each other the next day. They apologized. Piper apologized for what she’d started and Annabeth apologized for being so rash. Piper thought things would get better. But the tension was still there. She could feel it when their hands touched. She could feel it in their kisses. Everything seemed colder, like something had shifted. Why couldn't everything just go back to normal?

Piper missed it. She missed the early days of their relationship, filled with blushing and awkward hand holding, and loving kisses. It had been two and half years since then, and the energy was just so...different. Piper was no stranger to the way love worked. It was challenging, and people need to be absolutely right for each other for things to work out in the end. For the first time, Piper began to question whether she and Annabeth were really right.

It broke her heart to think this way. How could she? What girlfriend in love thought that the person she was in love with may not even be good for her? And after so long, too? What happened to her?

Finals only brought more stress. The girls were constantly studying, which left way less time for each other. Growing this apart didn't sit well with Piper. She had tried to blind herself to the looming future, but it was so hard. She just wanted to forget everything. Why couldn't everything be like it once was?

There came a day when Piper hadn't heard from Annabeth at all in two weeks. That was so strange. She wasn't used to it. She really, really didn't like it. Before the...break...Annabeth said she was incredibly stressed and had to devote her time to studying. Piper understood, but they'd also had another not-so-nice argument beforehand. Annabeth might be giving her the silent treatment. Piper didn't want that to be true.

“Sounds like she’s just busy,” Leo had said, shrugging. He didn't see the problem. Curse him for having one relationship before his aro/ace awakening.

“No Leo you don't see it!” Piper exclaimed. “I feel it in my gut. Something’s wrong.”

“Alright, but if you keep thinking negatively it'll take a toll on you.” Leo had been somewhat right there. These negative thoughts were definitely hurting her heart. But Piper just couldn't let go of them. They stung yes, but she feared if she’d let go, she’d just be set up for more heartbreak.

So she waited and waited and waited on. Another week passed, without a single glimpse of Annabeth’s face. Oh, how she missed those intelligent gray eyes, the curls of her long blonde hair, her feisty personality that made Piper fall head over feet. Piper found herself hugging a pillow in her dorm, looking over all the photos she had with the other. This is stupid, she’d thought. We didn't break up. Why am I not talking to her?

The truth was that Piper was afraid. She was afraid that if she talked to Annabeth, their relationship would continue to go down the dark path they'd reluctantly planted their feet on. Piper’s fears would become reality. And she wasn't ready for that.

But maybe Annabeth was afraid too. Maybe, just maybe, they could work through this. Piper decided it was worth a shot. She couldn't stand this silent treatment they were giving each other, for a petty reason if any. They were better than that. At least, Piper thought so.

With a bit of motivation from Drew, she finally gained the courage to pick up her phone and send a message to Annabeth. To her delightful surprise, Annabeth replied in about three minutes. Granted, those were some of the longest three minutes of Piper’s life. After Annabeth replied to her simple “hello” and “how are you,” Piper asked if she wanted to meet up for studying. Testing was going on that week, so it'd help, and they could be together again.

The next reply back took a little longer, but Piper’s heart flipped over in her chest when Annabeth agreed. She immediately grabbed her bag with her books and bolted out the door. The girls agreed to meet in the library in fifteen minutes, but it was about time for dinner, so Piper decided to pick up sandwiches for them. She chose Annabeth’s favorite, optimism flowing through her veins.

Piper’s heart sped up when she laid eyes on Annabeth for the first time in weeks. Annabeth’s inviting smile just amped up those emotions. Maybe Piper was wrong. Everything seemed fine, didn't it?

“Hey Annabeth,” Piper said, slipping into the chair next to the blonde, who already had her books sprawled out on the desk. Piper kissed Annabeth’s cheek quickly, disappointed at the lack of a cute blush, however still content.

“Hi Pipes,” Annabeth replied. Good, she seemed happy to see Piper. A conversation ensued after the greeting. They asked what the other had been doing. They enjoyed each other’s company. They laughed together again. Piper’s night went from good to great when the librarian had to quiet them down and they had to stifle a waterfall of giggles.

Piper didn't want to focus on how it wasn't the same. She didn't want to think about how they still felt apart somehow. A wall of tension still blocking the two from truly connecting.

She remembered her father’s stories. Four-year-old Piper, wide-eyed and curious, would ask about her mother. She remembered the bittersweet expression her father wore when Piper inquired for information. The few times her father did talk about the mysterious woman who gave birth to Piper, she was all ears. According to her dad, Piper’s mom was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. (“Following you, of course, darling,” Piper remembered him saying to her). Their time together was short, but Piper knew it was one of the best times of her father’s life, from how he talked so fondly of it. Her mother left when Piper was very young, something her and Annabeth had in common. Piper’s father would always tell her to watch out. Love was a beautiful thing, colors of emotion washing over you like an ocean. Burning red feelings that made you crazy. But it was quick, over all too soon, and then you were left drained, waiting for something to pick you back up again. Piper wondered, was she being drained?

Two hours later, the girls concluded their study session. They'd gotten a lot of work in and got to spend time together, which was nice. Piper dreaded the end of it, until Annabeth turned to ask her a question.

“Hey, I’m going to visit my family once finals are over. They really want to meet you. I was wondering, do you want to come with me?” The question rang through Piper’s ears. She’d be meeting the family. Piper knew she and Annabeth had been dating for two and a half years, but this was still a huge step. And to do it now, when the tension in their relationship was higher than ever? Piper almost declined. She dreaded something happening when she was there. Every fiber of her being seemed to tell her that this would come crashing down. Yet, she ignored it.

“I’d love to,” she replied, a smile plastered across her face.

“Great!” Annabeth beamed. “I’ll see you soon, alright?” she said, as she gathered her books and stood.

“Yep.” Piper stood as well and leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend swiftly. After the kiss, they locked eyes for a moment, then Annabeth turned around and headed for the door. Piper tried to calm her intense heartbeat, which was an inherently pointless effort according to her time with Annabeth.

Piper had no idea what would happen at Annabeth’s house. She regretted being so blind. She regretted not listening to her gut. Why didn’t she just acknowledge what was happening then? Why couldn’t she avoid hurting? But Piper back then didn’t see it. She’d pushed away the anxiousness and only looked on forward. She was meeting Annabeth’s family. Why not?

…

The car shook as it drove over the bumpy gravel road, pulling towards Annabeth’s house. They’d finally reached Virginia in the bright red rental car. The ride had been tedious, with constant pit stops and position switching. If Piper had to hear the same god damn bland techno-beat on the radio one more time she might just kill a man. Or the radio. Whichever came first.

“And here we are,” Annabeth said, staring at the house. It was an average suburban house, white picket fence and all. Piper almost laughed at the fact that Annabeth had the white picket fence. The house was a light beige color, with white and brown accents. It was simple, yet looked like home. She could definitely see Annabeth growing up here.

Annabeth left the car first and Piper followed soon after. She opened the trunk and grabbed the girls’ suitcases. Piper took hers, and they made their way to the door. Piper noticed how Annabeth paused before knocking. She knew her girlfriend didn't have the best relationship with her family, no wonder she was nervous. Piper took the girl’s hand and gave her a shy smile. Annabeth then took a deep breath and rapped on the door.

They were greeted by two eager small boys jumping around the doorway. “Annabeth!” The boy's yelled in unison. Piper assumed they were Annabeth’s little stepbrothers, Bobby and Matthew. Annabeth took turns hugging both of them and then introduced Piper as her girlfriend.

They cocked their heads at that for a moment, which made Piper’s stomach feel hollow with anxiety, but then one of them (Bobby, maybe) piped up. “She's pretty! How'd you get her?!”

Piper burst out laughing. Annabeth looked appalled.

“Alright that's enough, Bobby,” said a voice from the hall. The man speaking came into view, running to the door as he pushed up his glasses. He must have been Annabeth’s dad. Piper was proven correct when Annabeth cried out “dad!” and wrapped her arms around him. Piper stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do.

When the two parted, Annabeth turned and grabbed Piper’s hand again. She took a breath, and then spoke. “This is Piper, my girlfriend.”

“I've heard a lot about you, Piper. Including the fact that you're Tristan McClean’s daughter, but from what Annabeth has told me I can tell you're a lot more than that.” Piper felt a blush creep up her face as she smiled. Annabeth had definitely talked a lot about Piper to her father.

“Oh, um, thank you, Mr. Chase,” Piper replied, though it sounded slightly awkward.

“Call me Fredrick.” The two shook hands, and then one final person entered the room. Piper immediately recognized her as Annabeth’s stepmother. She saw Annabeth tense up and Piper squeezed her hand as a form of reassurance. She knew that Annabeth and her stepmother had quite a toxic relationship back in the day. She was the reason Annabeth had tried to run away, and actually succeeded for a little less than a month. Annabeth had said they were working on making things better between them, but nothing was perfect.

“Hello Annabeth,” she said. Her stepmother had a monotone voice, but Piper could see her raising it. “Nice to see you.”

“Hi, Naomi. It's nice to see you too,” Annabeth replied. So that was her stepmother’s name.

Naomi Chase then turned to Piper. “Nice to meet you too, Piper is it?”

She nodded. “It's great to meet all of you.”

“Well, you're always welcome here.” Frederick said as he moved to stand next to his wife.

Matthew and Bobby made mischievous eye contact. “Other people to annoy besides Bobby is pretty cool!” Matthew piped up. Piper chuckled at that. She was sure looking forward to whatever pranks those boys could pull.

This gave her hope. The room seemed to radiate positive energy. Again, Annabeth’s relationship with her family wasn't the best, but they seemed to put those problems aside for now. For all Piper knew, the aforementioned tension could very well make its way back. But Piper wasn't thinking about that right now. All she was thinking was that maybe, everything would be okay.

“Losing her was blue like I'd never known.”

Piper felt a tug at her heartstrings as she recalled that night. Oh, that night. She almost couldn’t bare to think about it again. Piper knew she had to. She’d already established this. After it had happened, she’d thought that maybe, just maybe, she could push any and all thoughts of it out of her mind and pretend it never did. However, as much as she wished they would, things didn’t work that way. She took a deep breath. She was ready. Ready to recall the night where she was taken over by all things blue.

Piper smoothed out her red checkered flannel, averting her eyes away from her girlfriend, who sat across the room on the bed. She didn’t know why everything had turned out like this. Things were going so great. When she’d arrived at Annabeth’s house, a flame had been ignited inside her. The smallest sliver of hope that they were gonna make it out of this mess. But it was torn away quickly when a wave of problems hit the girls like a tsunami.

The tension had returned quickly. Luckily, none of Annabeth’s family members seemed to notice. Annabeth’s father was very inquisitive. Always asking Piper questions regarding her life and relationship with his daughter. Complete with the embarrassing stories about Annabeth, which caused the girl to turn redder than a tomato. Piper almost smiled remembering the baby pictures. But, everything went downhill from there. The girls had gone through a few small arguments over the days. Nothing big, but enough to make them a bit uncomfortable. Piper even felt it in their bed. As Annabeth laid unconscious, Piper couldn’t help but stare at the sleeping girl and wonder, where were they going? Piper recalled her father’s stories of her mother and in the long nights, she finally realized how draining everything really was.

Now, Piper could tell Annabeth was riled up. From what, Piper was unsure of. But Annabeth’s huffed breaths and crossed arms definitely led her to that conclusion. She wished everything would just be normal again, but wishes were useless against fate.

“Piper,” Annabeth huffed with another exasperated breath. “Can we...can we talk?” Fuck, Piper thought. No no no no. Could she do this? She couldn’t do this. Piper felt like a weight was sitting in her stomach. She saw all the signs to this potential conversation, so why did she dread it so terribly? Why was she so anxious? Because she loved Annabeth, no matter what they went through. That’s why.

Piper wanted to say so much more. She felt an avalanche of words trying to escape her lips, but all she let out was, “Sure.” Piper turned to face the girl before her and studied the blonde. Her curls were tied together in a french braid on the side of her shoulder, a hairstyle Piper had taught her how to do. She wore a way too big white shirt with a band logo on it and black leggings. Her glasses perched on her nose since she’d taken out her contacts. She looked so simple, yet still stunning to Piper. She realized how afraid she was to lose that.

“Listen, there’s so much tension around us. You have to have noticed. We’ve been fighting...so much more than normal lately. It...it doesn’t feel good.”

Piper sighed. “I know. But, does the tension have to stay? Can’t we get rid of it somehow?”

“I don’t know, Piper. It’s so strong it’s like you could cut the it with a knife. I feel like we’ve passed a point of no return.”

Piper felt her heart clench, Annabeth no doubt feeling the same way. “I don’t know Annabeth. I feel so weird in everything I do. I love you so so much. I’m just so tired.”

Annabeth nodded. “But...if we’re really as right for each other as we think, why is this happening? It’s been months of this, Piper. Months. Don’t you think we would’ve found a resolution by now?”

Piper felt her hands start to shake. She sent a desperate look to the girl before her. Gladly, Annabeth didn’t look stone cold. If anything, she looked just as emotional as Piper. She shook a bit as well, and her eyebrows were furrowed. Piper spoke again, “We’re both afraid. We both hate that this is happening. But..love and fear, love and hate, they’re almost identical. They can’t be reasoned with.”

“I’ve just been thinking so much and-”

“Don’t think, just feel.”

Annabeth began to raise her voice, the higher pitch of her vocal chords stinging Piper’s heart. “I hate that!”

“I know!” Piper retorted, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t help it. “I know,” she repeated, this time in a whisper. Damn, she felt so small. She felt the emotion in the room rise as her heart beat like a drum. Annabeth was never the best at dealing with emotions, while Piper, she was intact with her emotions completely. Initially, Piper thought it was an “opposites attract” situation. But maybe, it was leading to a downfall.

Annabeth averted her eyes, both girls’ hearts breaking from the lack of eye contact. “What should we do?” she questioned, a crack in her voice. Piper was at a loss for words. She didn’t know. She really had no idea. Should they stay together and raise the bottled feelings until they all spilled out even more or should they break apart and leave each other alone in this mess?

The girls continued to speak, basically no progress being made. It all seemed pointless. There were only two ways this conversation could go. Yet, they stalled. Stalled for as long as they could because what if it ended in the way that they feared?

As they continued to speak, the tension only rose. Voices got louder and heartaches got stronger. Piper felt something snap in between them. ...That was it. They couldn't do it anymore. She knew at that moment, that no matter what they did, no matter what they tried, it would end up broken. And that's when a tear rolled down her cheek. And then another. And another. She watched as Annabeth flinched, wanting to lean over and wipe the tears from Piper’s face but the crying only intensified when Annabeth hesitated and did nothing at all.

“We...can't do this,” Piper choked in between sobs. She met eyes with Annabeth. Oh, those intense gray eyes. How she wished for that loving gaze once more.

“We can't do this,” Annabeth whispered. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize. What are we going to do?”

“You don't have to leave. Not yet.”

“We’re supposed to be here for another week, Annabeth. Can we handle that?”

Annabeth paused for a moment. By now, droplets of water descended down her cheeks as well. “No.” She paused, and then repeated herself.

“I can pack my things. I can get a train back to school.”

“It'll take a couple days.”

“I'll manage.”

Annabeth said nothing. Just stared into Piper’s eyes. They loved each other, Piper knew that much. But sometimes, love wasn't enough. Sometimes, it didn't come through in the end and your happily ever after was rudely snatched away from you in a heartbeat. “Annabeth,” Piper whispered, not wanting to break the connection just yet.

Annabeth quickly turned her head, shut her eyes tight, and let another tear roll down her cheek. “Just go. I can't stand looking at you anymore. It'll just make things worse.”

Piper nodded and turned around, making her way to the corner of the room. She felt numb, like everything was surreal. Maybe if she just focused on anything but their conversation, everything would be okay. Luckily, Piper was organized enough to not have to take too long to pack up. She pulled up the handle on her wheeled suitcase and stood, gripping it tightly and turning her knuckles white.

The girl shot another look at Annabeth. Her glasses laid on the nightstand beside her and her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned downwards, no doubt trying not to cry again. When she heard Piper shuffle, she looked up and the girls met eyes one final time. They held their breaths, not daring to break the silence. And when it all became just too much to bare, Piper whispered once more.

“I love you.”

Annabeth sniffed and moved her eyes to stare out the window. The next few seconds were agonizingly slow, until Annabeth responded, “I love you, too.”

It was then that Piper turned and left through the door, not daring to look back. She wouldn't cry again. She couldn't cry again. Why was she crying again? Opening the door, she found that the weather reflected her emotions. Rain poured down from the sky, like a tribute to the lost connection. Piper almost laughed. Of course. The cliché walk in the rain. Piper radiated blue, just like the sky before her.

She sighed and began to walk again, letting the rain wash away her tears. Letting it drown out the ragged breaths and gasps as she walked further away. Further from Annabeth. Further from the girl she loved until the literal pieces they ended in.

“Missing her was dark gray all alone. Forgetting her was like trying to know somebody you never met.”

She wiped her wet eyes quickly, not wanting to think about what had happened. Piper took a deep breath, back in the real world again. She had to eject herself from her thoughts. Recalling the breakup was...rough. Oh, how she wished to do it differently. But no. It wasn't over yet. Her eyelids were heavy, but Piper refused to lay down and sleep as images overcame her mind once again.

The first few weeks were well...rough. Not as hard as the train ride back, Piper gave it that, but still. Everything had felt so surreal. She didn't even remember most of the train ride. She wasn't even able to think during it. Only clutch her stomach and part of her shirt near her heart in any attempt to stop the pain inside though she knew it obviously wouldn't work. She even tried to distract herself with social media and at least two books, but they were no use. Piper almost had to get off the train when she saw her own Instagram feed, filled with pictures of her and Annabeth. Piper told herself she wouldn't get emotional until she got home. She lied.

Piper didn't want to tell anyone. She really didn't want to. But bottling up her emotions was not a good idea, so she confided in Jason and Leo. She had sat on Jason’s bed in their dorm room, both boys hugging her. Leo even found some chocolate laying around, which didn't help much but it was nice. She'd left after that. She didn't think she could stand all the pity from them. She could barely pity herself.

What's wrong with me? Piper found herself wondering. What's wrong with us? Was it Piper's fault that she and Annabeth had split? Maybe Piper just wasn't right for relationships. Piper had felt as drawn to Annabeth as her father would describe his feelings towards her mother. Of course. Their relationship didn't work out, so why should Piper's?

Everything seemed to remind her of Annabeth. Hell, she couldn't even go an hour without thinking of her. Piper so badly wanted her to just get out. Stop consuming her thoughts. Why did her mind insist on keeping Annabeth in? She missed it. Piper missed the feeling of Annabeth’s body next to hers. She longed for the feeling of her touch that made her warm. Now, now she was just cold.

“Read,” Piper whispered to herself. “You need to focus.” She flipped the page of her book, although she'd barely been able to comprehend the lines on the other page. Really, she was just skimming, while her thoughts ran elsewhere.

“Stop it,” she whispered again, trying to reprimand her mind. She knew it wouldn't work. Thoughts were almost impossible to control. Still, she so badly wanted to forget it all. How? How could she do that?

Suddenly, an idea flickered through Piper’s mind. She slowly closed the book and stood, making her way across the dorm room to Drew’s closet.

Drew sat on her bed, propped up in some strange position. She wore a light pink tank top and sweatpants, her hair tied up in two buns atop her head. Piper remembered Drew calling them space buns, a hair technique she’d learned from her “friend” (or so she claimed), Calypso. Drew’s eyes widened as she looked up from her phone and saw Piper rummaging through her closet. “Whatcha doing?” She inquired. Not mad, but curious. Piper didn't respond.

Drew just shrugged and went back to looking at her phone. “Alright then.” As Piper dug through the girl’s closet, she didn't pay much attention to what she was pulling out. If it belonged to Drew, it was good enough. Once she had a full outfit, she brought herself to the bathroom to change.

Piper examined herself in the mirror. It was strange to see herself dressed in Drew’s clothing. She wore a tight maroon crop top, a black miniskirt, and red heels. Damn, Piper hated heels. But fuck it. Nothing mattered. Piper would endure the pain.

She pulled open the drawer by the sink, hitting makeup jackpot. Granted, she rarely did her own makeup, but she'd seen Drew do it enough times that she had some general knowledge. Trying it out in the bathroom definitely gave her a new appreciation for makeup artists. How did they do it? Piper didn't know.

She stared at herself in the mirror once again. She looked so...different. So unlike herself. Her eyeliner was messy and she’d definitely messed up whatever highlight and contour were. (Thankfully, Piper had foundation and concealer in her shade for the few times she did do makeup). But, she hadn't done too bad. It was perfect.

Turning the knob to exit the bathroom, her stomach churned. What would Drew say? Maybe she wouldn't see her. Piper doubted it, but she left anyway. Drew seemed to notice immediately, with Piper not having any skills in subtlety.

“Piper? What are you doing?”

“Going,” was all Piper said.

“Where?”

“Out.” Geez, Piper felt like a rebellious teenage daughter trying to get her mom to let her go out of the house. Drew didn't seem to be satisfied with that answer and sprang upwards. She walked up to Piper and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. Drew shot her a worrying glance, and Piper almost changed her mind.

“Piper, you look great. But...this isn't you. Why are you going out like this?”

“Why not?” Piper retorted, snapping at the girl before her. “I'm not a child so what's the problem?”

“Because you never would’ve done this before...nevermind. The point is that I can't stop you from going out, but drowning pain that way isn't satisfying.

Piper felt anger bubble up in her stomach. Who was Drew to tell her what to do with herself? Piper could do whatever she wanted to cope. Drew didn't understand. Was Piper drowning pain? Screw it. She didn't care. All she wanted was to get out.

“You don't fucking get it! Just let me go okay?!” Piper snapped once again. “I'll see you later Drew.” Piper turned her heel and walked towards the door, or as well as she could walk in those torturous shoes. She didn't dare look back at Drew. Piper didn't think she could stand the look on her face.

Piper didn't care. She'd lost hope in everything. Didn't care for a single thing in the world. All she wished to do was lose herself. So she went. She waltzed into that club with absolutely no regrets weighing her down. She didn't know what she was drinking. She didn't care. She didn't know where she was dancing. She didn't care. She didn't know who she was kissing. She didn't care. As her hands traced lines on the mystery girl’s skin and her lips kissed the girl’s bright red lipstick, making marks over both of them, she let go of everything. Maybe it was just temporary. Maybe it was all a trick to make her feel like things were getting better even though they weren't. But...she didn't care.

The morning after, Piper awoke in her bed. How she got there was all a blur. She remembered getting to her apartment but didn't remember getting to her room. She rubbed her tired eyes as she sat up, picking up her cell phone. Crap. She and club girl had exchanged numbers, and now she’d tried to text Piper. Piper just decided to ignore it. What should she say? I got drunk ‘cause I can't handle a breakup and started kissing you since I was so drunk? The girl would be fine.

Piper quickly checked her text messages. Thankfully, she hadn't drunkenly texted Annabeth. Leo would be waking up to some strange messages though.

Piper felt so drained. Like she couldn't feel a thing in her body. Everything hurt, her heart the most. She could feel the leftover makeup on her face and she hadn't changed, so she was still dressed in that uncomfortable getup. Her head banged like a drum in her mind and it wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

Piper started to scan the room, when she met eyes with Drew. She immediately felt ashamed of herself after Drew’s concerned gaze. Piper looked downwards and began to play with the blanket.

“You're welcome,” Drew finally spoke up.

That caught Piper’s attention. “For what?”

“For taking you in after you collapsed in the hallway last night. Or I guess this morning.”

“Oh. Th-thanks.” So that's how she’d gotten to her bed. A flood of sympathy suddenly hit her. How worried really was Drew?

Piper then felt a surge in her stomach. Crap, she thought, rushing up to run to the bathroom. Coughing up puke and bile was not how she wanted to spend her morning. She soon felt a hand on her back, tracing shapes. Her hair was held back by Drew as well. Luckily, Drew knew how to deal with this sort of thing. Once she finished, Piper wretched, still leaning over the toilet as a sob wracked her body. “I-I’m sorry.”

Drew helped Piper up until the girl was fully standing. She then led her out of the bathroom and onto her bed. Piper found her head leaning on Drew’s shoulder. She’d wiped the few tears on her cheeks and wasn't crying anymore, but she might as well have been with the amount of sniffling. Piper felt weak. She didn't want to be weak. Since when was she reduced to this?

After what seemed like hours of silence, Drew began to speak. “Don't apologize. I know why you went out. But this just isn't you. Trying to lose yourself in drink after drink and each random person you meet won't do any good. I can't stop you, but I'm worried. And you know I damn well mean it since I definitely wouldn't do this for everyone.”

That got a laugh out of Piper. For a little bit, she actually felt okay. “Thanks, Drew,” she replied.

The girl smiled. “All in a day’s work.”

Piper sat up, stretching out her back. “Now can we acknowledge my killer headache?” She groaned. “I need some medicine or something.”

“I can get it, but you should probably change into something that's not a tight top and skirt. You can suffer through a hangover with something more comfortable,” Drew said as she got up and made her way to the bathroom again. Piper nodded and stood too. She grabbed a stray hoodie and leggings, not caring whether they were clean or not, and changed. She felt a little better already when her clothes weren't digging at her skin.

Drew’s medicine and a glass of water helped as well. After giving it to her, she needed to get to a class. Piper claimed she’d be fine alone, but Drew said to call her if she needed anything. Piper wouldn't do that. She didn't want to disturb Drew after everything she had done for Piper.

Being alone gave Piper a chance to think. To think about the night before. She honestly had no idea what kind of reasoning went into her decisions, if any at all. She just needed to get away. As difficult as it was, she’d succeeded for just that night. Maybe...maybe she could do it again. She desperately wanted to feel how she felt the night before. Carefree, with no worries weighing her down.

No. That mentality wouldn't lead to anything good. She couldn't go out again. Drew was right, no matter how good she felt, it'd all end as soon as it began, and she’ll just be left feeling worse.

So she let her mind wander. Her heart hurt as she recalled the night her and Annabeth had broken up. Piper wished she could take it all back. Wished she could make it work. If she had just tried harder, would they be okay? Would they still be together? If she’d really tried to make things work, would things be like they used to?

There was no point. They’d already broken apart. Annabeth probably didn’t want anything to do with Piper. Piper still dreaded the possibility of seeing her on campus. Piper had seen her walking around once. She was far away, but Piper still felt like the pain was crushing her. Piper didn’t want to see her again.

She felt empty. Oh so empty. It was like a part of her had been cut off and left her on the ground bleeding out. Everything was gray. All color had been drained from the world. Piper missed the girl who gave her color so so much. She didn’t want heartbreak. She didn’t want any of this. And yet, the world worked in mysterious ways.

“But loving her was red.”

Finally, she allowed herself to open her eyes. Strange, wasn’t it? How she was able to immerse herself in her thoughts. Piper had no idea how long it’d been, but she didn’t care that much. She had next to nothing to do, so there wasn’t really a point. The girl delicately brought a hand up to her face, only to feel the dampness of her own cheeks. Huh, she hadn’t realized she’d cried along with her memories. That just made her feel worse.

Months had passed since her last recalled flashback. She didn’t want to go through them. Relatively nothing happened, just more sadness. Piper wanted to wash it all away, but it was so hard. She couldn’t seem to focus on anything else.

The girl shoved her blanket off her shoulders and onto the bed. It only made her feel weaker than she already did. She continued to grab her phone and unlock it. Screw distancing herself from technology. It may make her feel worse sometimes, but it was a reliable distraction.

At first, it was fine. Aimlessly scrolling on Instagram let Piper take her mind off of everything. Until she saw the photo. Piper’s phone slipped from her hands, falling to the ground and landing with a loud thunk. She stared at where it used to be held in her hand, eyes widened. On the screen, was a picture of Annabeth and this boy with dark hair and the most gorgeous sea green eyes Piper had ever seen. They were holding hands and he was kissing her forehead. Piper felt herself start to shake. No. She should’ve just unfollowed Annabeth. Why didn’t she do that? Now, she had to see a picture of her and her new boyfriend.

Piper wasn’t mad. Annabeth deserved to be happy. But...Piper wanted to be the one making Annabeth happy. Not this guy who was making her smile as wide as she did in their early days. Piper wrapped her arms around her body, trying to stop the shaking. She ached inside. Longed to be with Annabeth again. Longed to be that guy in the photo. Did Annabeth tell him he had pretty eyes? She used to tell Piper she had pretty eyes.

“Fuck,” Piper whispered, her voice cracking. She shouldn’t have been feeling so messed up. Annabeth’s relationships were her choice. She and Piper had broken up months ago. Yet, Piper seemed unable to move on.

She felt a burning surge in her heart as she brought her hands to her face. She leaned forwards and sniffed, yet, didn’t cry. She reminisced about the times when she wasn’t feeling this way. The feeling in her gut. The thumping in her heart. How she couldn’t stop the nerves. The feeling of reassurance when Annabeth grabbed her hand. The way Annabeth looked at Piper like she was her world. Like she was all that mattered. Like she’d felt before. She wanted it back. She wanted to feel all those feelings again.

“Remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go. But moving on from her is impossible, When I still see it all in my head. In burning red. Burning, it was red”

Piper left the phone on the ground. She didn’t want to pick it up again. If she did, she’d see that photo again, and be hit with a wave of flashbacks. To when everything was okay.

It had been months. Months, damn it. Piper would’ve thought she’d move on by now. But no. It was so incredibly hard. She just couldn’t loosen her grasp on Annabeth. She made Piper feel like she was everything, and that was so so hard to let go of. She just...couldn’t do it. Oh, how she wished she could. But her wishes, they meant nothing.

Piper wondered, how? How could she possibly move on when she could so vividly picture her and Annabeth in her mind. She could rewind and replay their best moments over and over again, like she was reliving them. Piper may not have Annabeth, but she had the girl she’d fallen head over heels for in her head.

It was for the best. Piper knew so. Staying together would have just led to more heartbreak, possibly more intense if that was even plausible. Piper kept trying to convince herself she made the right choice. They did the right thing. Breaking apart was supposed to be a good thing for both of them. So why did it make Piper feel so empty?

She felt lonely. Piper, although having so many great people in her life, still felt so alone. She didn’t want to feel this way. She hated it. But feelings were so hard to control and she was so sick of it. So goddamn sick of everything.

So there she sat, pushing everything out of her mind. She’d given herself a chance to think. She’d broken down the walls in her mind and let out every single emotion that she’d bared. And yet, she didn’t feel any better. It was all a waste.

Piper didn’t know how long she sat after that. Seconds or minutes or even hours. It didn’t matter to her. All of a sudden, she was pulled out of her trance by the upbeat text tone of her phone on the ground. She was going to ignore it, but then it began to blow up. Noise after noise after noise until Piper couldn’t leave it alone anymore and picked up the device. She almost smiled when she saw who it was. One of Piper’s only active group chats was alive. Leo and Jason were texting up a storm. And a new girl they’d recently added. Her name was Reyna. She’d quickly become a part of their friend group. Being around those three made Piper feel okay again, especially when Reyna came. She was starting to feel emotions she’d felt before her departure with Annabeth. Emotions that overcame her when they’d just started dating even. Piper wasn’t going to read into that. Not yet at least. Still, her friends made Piper feel like, well, something.

The corners of her lips finally upturned as she typed in a reply to Leo’s horrible joke. Her heart fluttered when Reyna was excited to see her, followed by Jason and Leo. Her head stopped hurting when her friends asked her how she was doing. She said she was fine, which might not have been a lie.

Piper thought it was impossible. She thought she wouldn’t ever be able to get Annabeth out of her head. And that was true. Annabeth would always be a part of her, no matter the circumstance. She’d never forget those burning red feelings Annabeth gave her whenever they were together. She’d never forget how she was able to get lost in those beautiful eyes and her tantalizing kiss. But Piper was ready to accept that it was a part of the past. No matter how alone she felt, at that moment, Piper realized how many people did care for her. Jason. Leo. Drew. Reyna. Even Annabeth, despite the mess they’d gone through, Piper had no doubt in her mind that the girl missed her too.

Being with Annabeth had been Piper’s everything. Being without Annabeth had made her closed up, scared. Blue. Grey. Empty. Now, she might just be ready to let some of that red back in.

“‘Cause loving her was red.”

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