#about cephy

[cephydeluxe]

most Simeon/MC fics r kyute as hell, but a lot of them focus simeon's reason for "falling" (aka: disobeying father's rule of never extending a human's life by stealing the ring of light) as solely because he loves mc,

and like..... that's ok 😐 and all, but I feel like it kinda narrows simeon's character a bit ((but the following thoughts below r my interpretation so take this more as appreciation than a criticism of any other interpretations of simeon))

Simeon, regardless of whether or not it's reciprocated, still feels brotherly love for the brothers. They were once his brothers, and when it came time to wage war against them in the name of their Father, he refused to fight them and was demoted.

His love for his family made him refuse God's orders because the idea of harming his family was worse than the disapproval of God.

"ok well what does this have 2 do w the ring of light" shut up ill get 2 that >:(

I'm not gonna recap much cause my phone's at like 8% idgaf srry 😒. The only important parts is that mc's existence and pacts w the brothers is highly unstable and causing chaos in the three realms, and the only ways to fix it are to either kill lucifer with the night dagger, or to obtain the ring of light from the celestial realm.

So it's either trade lucifer's life for mc's, or steal the ring from micheal. The ring is immediately ruled out because demons can't enter the celestial realm, and it would probably (most definitely) cause a political shitstorm if a demon did steal it.

So the only option left is to kill lucifer, and right as mc is given the choice of killing him or themself, here comes Simeon, fresh from the celestial realm with the stolen ring of light in tow

Now, most fics tend to depict these events as simeon risking his status as archangel (an already unstable position given his refusal to fight during the war) as a huge romantic sacrifice because of his love for mc.

And that's,, cute ig but there is so many more things going on in that scene (2 me at least, solmare isn't really known 4 their writing 🫢)

Simeon's sacrifice in stealing the ring, in potentially incurring the wrath of God, in committing the same sin Lilith did to be disowned and even killed by their shared Father, and in risking his home he was raised and lived in for his entire life,

was both for his family that he has missed for thousands of years and for the person who healed them when he himself was unable to.

The TSL series (written by Simeon before the exchange program) are a retelling of the events between the avatars and mc. Even after they are cast out of heaven for treason and simeon is demoted for not wanting to hurt them, he still cares about them and wants the best for them, writing stories about them and their "Henry".

Even if the brothers treat him coldly and distantly, he still cares about them deeply enough that the prospect of killing lucifer? Their eldest brother?

The one who constantly does everything in his power to keep the rest of his family safe after the death of his sister?

The one who traded his loyalty to the demon prince after just landing after being thrown out of his home?

It's completely unthinkable to Simeon.

So that just leaves MC, then. The reincarnation of Lilith and the friend of all seven brothers, even after being violently killed by one of them,

(belphie, cough cough)

Still accepts all of them and keeps them together, and at this point in the story, is practically welcomed as a fixture in their messy yet tight-knit family.

For MC to sacrifice themself for the brothers would be to break them, to leave another unfillable void in their hearts like Lilith did so many years ago. The moment things would return to normal and Lucifer regained his memories would be devastating, knowing that yet again he failed to keep his family safe and whole.

Grief for MC's death would be felt far and wide, Simeon included.

Both outcomes of using the night dagger are unthinkable to Simeon, both causing unimaginable grief for everyone.

So the ring of light is all that remains.

It's a no-brainer, really.

Angels aren't restricted from the celestial realm, and if the ring is stolen by an angel, it has a way less likely chance of falling back on the devildom, on the fragile peace him and many others have worked so hard to facilitate between the three realms.

So what if the consequences will primarily fall upon Simeon alone, it matters little to the certain disaster either outcomes of wielding the night dagger will bring. Both Lucifer and MC will be unharmed, and the chaos will end.

But could you imagine the feelings he must have felt?

In the chamber where the ring of light is kept, having just snuck past Micheal, a twist in his gut from breaking the most basics of holy disciplines he has spent his entire life embodying, just staring at the ring of light in its container, the last momento of a father's love for his favorite child before disowning him.

It's a warning, a sign that tells Simeon that he will be next to fall if he takes this ring.

He takes it anyway, throwing his loyalty to God away if it means saving Lucifer, saving his family, saving the peace they've obtained without him.

A penance, maybe, for his inaction in the war, when perhaps one seraphim could've made a difference, if not win the war, then at least could've spared Lilith's life.

Can you imagine how he must have felt, standing in front of MC with the ring in his hands?

Lilith's sin that started the war wasn't just that she fell in love with a human, it was when she extended the life of her lover because of it. A clear defiance of Father's will, to negate written fate for the sake of her selfish love was what got her killed.

And here Simeon stands, staring into the eyes of her reincarnation as he offers them the ring that will save them, extend their life, and doom Simeon to walk the same path their angelic ancestor died on.

The ring is a promise, of the disownment that Simeon faces, of the pain he will endure in defying God's word as an angel (whose sole objective, down to the very fabric of his being, to the very purpose of his creation, is to embody and enforce), of the corruption of his very soul that paints his ivory feathers black.

It's also a promise of devotion, of commitment to this deadly sin, this selfless sacrifice, to the human he's fallen in love with, and to the family he longs to be close with again.

It's a vow, for all the atrocities he's willing to commit for the sake of protecting those he cherishes above all else.

It's a vow, for the deeply rooted love for the human, one who's very existence is the result of the tragic end of the angel who came before him and paved the doomed path he now walks.

Like Oroboros eating its tail, Simeon's love for the demon brothers and MC is never-ending and inevitable.

When asked, he says he wishes he could've fought with the brothers in the war, so he could "stay the same as them" and that the war weighed heavily on his mind from time to time.

Ever since he watched them be cast down to hell, he was destined to fall with them someday, too.

.

.

.

(christ, this got so out of hand, this is probably a huge mess to read, srry I'm not a writer or a media analyst, this is just ramblings of someone who's got some really dramatic art to make.) simeon 4ever bby <3

(also I could make a separate post from solomon's pov where he's willing to sacrifice a pact with lucifer, something he's worked for years for a chance, just to save MC, but im sleepy goodnight)

(most of this post was written while I was listening to elden ring ost, thank u bayle the dread for making this post way more dramatic than it needed to be)

[cephiwyrm]

Hey Cephiwyrm!

I’ve feeling kind of stumped and unmotivated right now. What should I draw?

Maybe some random little drawings could help with my issue :)

shrimp...

[coprolite-posting]

scugcat 🤝 the splatoons

molluscs that developed mammalshapes

[cephy-the-squid]

Still getting used to the joy of going into queer spaces and being seen as attractive because of (and not in spite of) the same traits that make most cishet people and cishet spaces find me unattractive

[cephy-the-squid]

Stranger on the internet here to affirm that you are not going to “manifest” anything. Intrusive thoughts suck but they are also just thoughts. They can’t hurt you/others and are not more likely to happen just because you think them.

i just think that, maybe, its a bad idea to tell someone with intrusive thoughts that if they "keep thinking that way" theyre going to "manifest it" because uh. cant actually control that, chief, and youve just made it worse <3

[halflingcaravan]

The following is some 'ready made lore' for use with my TTRPG "Beta Maxx X", you can find the previous edition on Itch.io and a quick start on Exalted Funeral's website. The Ex-F version is the easiest paper copy you can get for Europe and the US (I'm in Australia so unless you love $30+ shipping costs, order there!). This section is about massive historical events that could be know around the galaxy, and could be used to help shape the level of dystopia or utopia in the game. Also note that these are written in the voice of unreliable narrators, which is deliberate to in-book dispel the idea that this is a 'Dry Dispassionate Historical Third Person Narrative'; these are going to be 'wrong' in the same way that what most people remember about Egypt, Rome, Ancient China, etc are probably wrong.

Historical Events

1312 Rebellion

The 1312 Rebellion was a heck of a thing, media from the time tells that after some brutal crackdowns by Pinnacle Corporation on Cephi-3 every existing worker union, all 1312 of them, on Cephi-3 joined together and staged a world-wide rebellion against the Corporation. They planned to destroy the corporate government, install a popular representative democracy, rewrite corporations law so that companies could only be owned by their own workers, and drastically reform the legal system as well. The Rebellion was successful in 27 days, and lasted for six years before Pinnacle helped fund and arm the Guild of Peacemakers to assassinate the entire leadership of the Rebellion, and begin a wider program of mass shootings of 1312 Members. It was another roughly eight years of terror after the assassinations began. Eventually, Pinnacle was able to reestablish the previous status quo and the Guild of Peacemakers became the police and military on Cephi-3. In the 400 years since, a number of 1312 Rebellions have appeared on different planets and some massive space stations; typically large corporations have immediately responded to a potential 1312 Rebellion with extensive propaganda, a high volume of targeted assassinations, and a large number of ‘disappearances’. 1312 is known to still be out there, and cells of 1312 members operate around the Galaxy. Their reading material has a tendency to appear in all sorts of strange corners of the Network, sometimes intrusively and other times buried in a ‘forgotten corner of some node’.

Arnaq 5

Arnaq 5 caused the founding of the Galactic Convention Against Technomagical Nuclear Weapons which is just bonkers considering the way nobody can get in the same room over standardising how you send plain text messages over the Galatic Network; how card can it be to unify 7,465 different written languages? Not trying. What happened? The Arnaq 5 War was brutal by every possible measure. The two largest corporations on Arnaq, Arnaq Industries and General Consolidated Arnaq, started one of their frequent minor turf wars over a small city in a remote corner of the planet but the unexpected happened. There was apparently an internal coup planned inside Arnaq Industries so when the Chair of Arnaq Industries left to meet with the President of Gen. Con. Arnaq a small fusion bomb had been smuggled into one of the vehicles and detonated destroying a building and killing most of the senior management of both corporations. The Managing Director of Innovation, Nillz J Browly, then seized Arnaq Industries and mobilised the corporation into a Total War posture. As the war became more intense, Browly decided to end the war as quickly as possible without caring about any consequence to the people or the planet of Arnaq. They ordered the use of the Polter-475, a massive fission bomb enhanced with extensive magic to stabilise a number of manufactured radioactive elements. While it was ostensibly launched at a battlefield, the blast radius and radiation radius were so large that a quarter of the third largest land mass on Arnaq was turned into a wasteland. Then the skeletons started appearing. These skeletons began walking out of the wasteland armed with blaster weapons (some worked and some did not) and into the nearby settlements indiscriminantly murdering regardless of their corporate affiliations. Slowly the wasteland expanded, behind the advance of the skeletons, and at that point the Convention was started, the planet of Arnaq abandoned, and some people speculate the Harvesters self-formed from the ruins left behind.

[naminethewriter]

Change Is Scary

Two days late but here is the last story for @intrulogicalweek this year! Once again, it was lots of fun and I am amazed that I am still not tired of these dorks 🤭 Anyway, I couldn't help myself and again sneacked in some Intruloceit, though Janus doesn't make an actual appearance. If you want more context for this story, read Sk8er Boi which I wrote for last years Dukeceit Week! It's a prequel to this but not a necessary read to understand this one. Hope you enjoy! 💙💚

Masterpost | Intrulogical Week 23 Masterpost | Ao3

Summary: Remus loves Logan. He's falling in love with Janus. He hopes Logan will give him a chance, too.

Content Warnings: None!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Lo, I’m home!” Remus called as he closed the door to their apartment behind him.

“Welcome back!” his boyfriend answered from what was most likely the living room. Remus quickly took off his combat boots and leather jacket before hurrying to find him. He was indeed in the living room, typing something on his laptop. Remus came to a stop in front of him, bouncing on his feet quietly as he waited for Logan’s signal that he was done.

His boyfriend made an audible click on something, let his eyes dance across the screen once more and then nodded. With a grin, Remus plugged the laptop off his lap and put it on the coffee table before taking its place.

“Hello darling, did you miss me?” he purred as he straddled Logan’s lap.

“I did, Cephy,” his boyfriend chuckled. “I hope you had an enjoyable day.”

“I did! I did! It was very fun, we—”

“Before you start telling me about it – and I do want to hear it,” Logan softly interrupted him, “I have some news for you.”

Remus’ interest was immediately piqued. “What?!” He leaned closer, their noses almost touching.

“The first recording of your new album arrived today.”

With a delighted screech, Remus sprung up and clapped his hands. “Play it, play it, play it!”

“I thought you might say that,” Logan chuckled and grabbed a remote that sat next to him. With one button press, their stereo started playing the newest song of Remus’ rock band and with an excited wiggle, Logan was pulled up and into Remus’ arms.

“Let’s dance!”

They twirled around their living room, Remus holding Logan close to his chest and humming along to the melody. The dance didn’t fit with the music, but Logan was used to that. When Remus got excited, he liked to hold his loved ones close and his usual dance moves didn’t allow for that, so instead he just hugged Logan close and spun around a bit.

It was a tradition at this point with every new bit of music they produced.

“It’s a good album, Cephy. You outdid yourself again,” Logan praised, and Remus kissed him enthusiastically.

“Wasn’t just me! You and Virgil and Pat and Ro all did a lot, too!”

“Of course.”

For a moment they just enjoyed the music until Remus’ initial burst of energy dissipated a bit. He still held Logan close and swayed along to the rhythm but stopped with the spinning. Logan was grateful, he was starting to get dizzy.

“I’d love to hear about your day now,” he reminded, smiling up at Remus, whose expression brightened.

“Oh, it was great! Jannie and I had lots of fun chugging the golf balls as far as possible!”

“Aren’t the courses in a mini golf park rather, well, small? I cannot imagine you had to shoot them all that far.”

“We didn’t!”

With a fond sigh, Logan dropped the topic. He should have known that Remus wouldn’t play the game as intended.

“As long as you didn’t hurt anyone, I guess that is fine, too.”

“We didn’t hit anyone. The owner wasn’t all too pleased with us though,” Remus giggled.

“I can imagine.”

“Jannie said he enjoyed himself though. He also asked about you, you know.”

Logan stiffened slightly in Remus’ arms. “Did he now?”

Remus stopped their dance entirely and grabbed the remote to turn the music down, though he kept his boyfriend close.

“He did. He’d really like to get to know you, too.”

“I know. I would like that as well.”

“But?”

Oh, Remus knew him too well. Nervously, Logan fiddled with Remus’ shirt, keeping his head low to avoid eye contact.

“But I still feel like it’s too early, don’t you? I mean, you just started going out, maybe we should wait to see if—”

Remus squeezed his shoulder to stop his rambling.

“I don’t think that’s actually your issue, is it, Lo Lo? Me and Janus is our thing, you don’t have to worry about us. And there’s nothing to worry about to begin with, we’re great. I really like him, and he likes me, too. And I’m sure you would like him as well if you gave him a chance.”

“I want to give him a chance. It’s just that I…” He trailed off but Remus didn’t push him. He knew that Logan sometimes needed to gather his thoughts before speaking. “I am worried. I know we both agreed that we are open to multiple partners and I am not taking that back. I love you and I am happy that Janus makes you happy as well. I… I am simple worried about managing two relationships at once, I have never done so before.”

“And that’s a valid thing to worry about,” Remus nodded. “It’s not gonna be easy, I mean, our relationship took a while to work out, too. But I’m here for you. And Jannie will understand it, too. I don’t want to share more than I should, but you know he’s trans and grew up in a rather conservative household. He understands how scary change can be and that some stuff will take time to figure out. None of us can expect this to go perfectly, so don’t think about it too much.”

“I know. I’m trying.”

“And I’m very proud of you for that.” Remus pressed a kiss into Logan’s hair. “If you need more time, I won’t push you. But maybe consider letting me invite him for tea or something? It doesn’t have to be anything big; it doesn’t even have to be a date. Just a conversation to start with, okay?”

Logan took a deep breath.

A conversation.

Yeah, he could do that.

“Yes. I’ll try and find something I am comfortable including him in.”

“Thank you, starlight.” Remus hugged him closer, nuzzling him contently. “I love you.” “I love you too, Cephy.”

[samscartoonsofficial]

hopefully this isn't offensive but would cephy be interested in the splatoon series?

Nah you're good man!

Honestly yeh. I can see it. She'd think the splatoon kids are cute and silly :)

(I haven't played the games myself so idk much about the game ahhh sorry!)

[starsailorstories]

question: do altamaian character/place names generally follow latin pronunciation rules? (i’ve been mentally pronouncing lux with a long u, cepheid as “ceh-FAY-id”, altamaian rhyming with mayan, stress on second to last syllables etc) are you planning on including a pronunciation guide or is it latin unless specified otherwise?

(Thank you so much for asking about this I love talking about SCverse language) A full Altamaian pronunciation guide is one of a bunch of things I've been working on for many moons now. I think of it as "Latin with a rust belt accent"--the u in lux is more of a schwa, for example. Classical Latin pronunciations are close, but not quite midwestern enough lmao. (Edit: Altamaian does rhyme with Mayan, and Basilean rhymes with Brass and Chilean).

Cepheid's name is Attenui in-universe and Greek-derived irl (it's a term for a type of variable star first observed in the constellation Cepheus--a leftover, on the doylist level, from when the alien characters in SC were going to be named after the types of stars they were modeled on biologically, before I realized there were way too many of them, most of the terms didn't make pretty names, and I wanted to come up with names based on the imagined cultures anyway). It's pronounced like "CEH-fee-id" according to the oxford online dictionary, but over time I've begun to pronounce it like "CEH-faid" (with a diphthong) in reference to the character because Atennui tends to emphasize first syllables and turn similarly-fronted vowels into diphthongs. I fully acknowledge that nobody's going to go along with that intuitively especially when I diminutize it as "Cephie", and I sort of like when people emphasize the second-to-last syllable because it sounds like "Sophia," an also-Greek name that means "wisdom."

So the answer is, pronunciation deets are coming, but also, it's a big galaxy and things are a little open to interpretation. I suspect for example that certain Altamaian accents would give "lux" a proper Latin long-u, but Lux the character has an Ashtivan accent so fwiw the first time you "hear it" in the text you hear it with a shorter, darker vowel than usual.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Y’all ready to meet the backup twins and their big backup bro (and a couple others)? I sure hope so because I’m doing it anyway.

Remnant (my little bastard child): Remnant activated in an abandoned daycare in a Mega PizzaPlex in Canada. How Eclipse found this PizzaPlex. Nobody knows. They’ve all even asked Eclipse, he didn’t even know that PizzaPlex existed. Remnant woke up inside the daycare with very little memory besides the rest of the celestial family, though his personality is much like Blood Moon’s minus the bloodlust. He loves pranks and causing chaos. He showed this off for the first time by popping into Sun & Moon’s daycare with his twin, Plerion and scaring the life out of Sun and Moon, who both screamed at the twins jumping out and scaring them. He gets along quite well with Lunar, who regularly gets pulled into Remnant and Plerion’s pranks on their friends and older brother, Emission.

Plerion (my other little bastard child): Plerion activated in the same Canadian PizzaPlex as Remnant and Emission. He’s technically the youngest of the three siblings, though he acts a teeny bit more mature than Remnant. Much like Remnant, Plerion’s personality base was Blood Moon, though his memory files were corrupted and needed to be reset due to them making him glitch out. Plerion still has glitches from time to time due to this, though not nearly as bad as they were when he had Eclipse’s memory files. Plerion loves causing chaos, like Remnant, though he only does small pranks and doesn’t much like people getting hurt or too scared from said pranks. Plerion loves playing hide and seek and tag, something Emission used to play with the twins constantly.

Emission: A very glitchy backup that activated a few months before Remnant and Plerion in the Canadian PizzaPlex. Emission’s glitches appear to others as ‘seizures’ though these glitches take a lot from Emission. His battery suffers mainly from these glitches but also his safety protocols and he has temporary blackouts during these glitches. These glitches unfortunately stem from his core being unfinished, which can’t quite be fixed in a way that wouldn’t wipe him completely or cause him to be non-sentient. Emission eventually gets bad enough with the glitches that the twins must take him to Sun and Moon to be fixed in their PizzaPlex. Moon is able to mostly fix him, though his glitches have made his battery very weak to charge and he is mostly bedbound for a while. Moon eventually manages to create both a battery that can withstand the glitches and a mobile charging system.

Subsatellite: A backup in Moon, Litey activates when the kill code reactivates, due to the jostling KC becoming his own AI does to the mindscape. Litey and Lunar don’t quite realize who each other are, mostly due to Subsatellite not having any of Eclipse’s memories other than a few of those that are positive memories of Lunar. They simply run together and hide from KC once KC has taken over. By the time Monty comes in to save Lunar, Lite and Lunar have talked very quietly about who each other are and have adopted each other as brothers and Lunar has given Lite his name. Monty has to take Subsatellite out as well as Lunar, though he has to stay longer since they weren’t in the same place when he found Lunar and he can’t leave the other comfort tiny in Moon’s head. Lunar and Subsatellite are trauma-bonded, it takes a bit for either of them to leave each other’s sides and Sun, Moon, and Monty are understanding of this and allow them their time to gather themselves before trying to get them over that separation anxiety. Once they’re able to leave each other for short periods of time, Subsatellite absolutely adores Moon. He’s scared of KC but Moon is much nicer to him. Due to his name and his slight attachment to Moon, Sun and Lunar sometimes lightly tease them telling Moon that Lite is his son.

Cepheid (my poor boy): Cephy activates in Sun during the fight with Blood Moon. Sun is preoccupied with the spell, Eclipse is preoccupied with getting the boot, and Blood Moon is working on destroying the body, all of this cumulates to Cepheid activating and clawing his way away from Blood Moon, crying and trying to get away. Blood Moon takes great joy with their prey fighting away (they think he’s Eclipse) and proceeds to play with their prey. They trick Cepheid into thinking they were done hurting him only to shock him multiple times repeatedly. Cepheid screaming is what draws Moon’s attention to the fight, because Cepheid’s voice is high pitched than Sun’s and definitely not Eclipse’s (think like Lunar’s pitch but Sunny’s voice). Moon has Monty call off the twins, as Sun has already done the expelling of Eclipse. Moon takes poor Cepheid out of Sun’s body and into a body of his own. Cephy is extremely terrified of being hurt again, he’s very shaky and weak as well, he’s very skittish and barely gets emotionally attached to Sun, Moon, and Lunar. Though, once he’s emotionally attached to them, Cephy loves them with all his poor traumatized heart.

[cephydeluxe]

TW: eye strain, blood, no visible gore but eye injury implied (also rambling in the tags)

Early work in progress painting of v,,,, the final piece won’t look anything like this (…..maybe) but I was messing with layer settings and hard mix is serving ,,,,,

tbh I’m starting 2 understand V h8ters now,,, mf needs 2 get the FUCK outta my head before I do something crazy 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 (((draw him more****

[cephiwyrm]

hors

[touchtranscendslanguage]

So all the princes are siblings right? So why do deceit and remus have like naga and octopus parts to them? Also if Remus has the octopus thing going on does roman have it too since they're twins?

Remus doesn't actually have octopus parts. They call him Cephalopod and Cephy as an inside joke. The joke is that Remus and his brothers all decided that if he were a hybrid he would be part kraken. Honestly Thomas would totally fucked a kraken. He's no coward. But, alas, he didn't and Remus is 100% fae.

Janus is actually the other princes' half-brother. After Thomas's husband Nico died, Thomas has a one-night stand with a naga representative while attending a parley with the unseelie. You can find more information I wrote about that in the posts linked below.

Janus's Birth

And this one

[stellarluck]

– "Nightmares" –

Link to AO3

Fandom: TSAMS (Back From The Dead AU)

Characters: Ebony/Cephei (BFTD!Eclipse) & Flames (BFTD!Solar Flare)

Angst w small comfort in the end

Randomly thought about the angst possibility, made myself cry, and now I must share with you. Excuse me of it's bad, English is not my first language + it's 11 pm

If you got any questions about the AU, ask! It's in progress and doesn't have very stable lore

*Cephei was aware of the fact that Flames was dying. How couldn't she when there's a massive pool of blood under them. And yet they refused to let go. Even when they went limp. Even when their chest stopped raising and eyes became glossy. The only thing he could do was silently cry. He couldn't scream or cry out, or else it'll give them problems since it's known when The Galaxy will arrive. The star focused on the thumping in the pup's chest*

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump

*It sounded so peaceful. You'd think that they're just sleeping or lazing around if it wasn't for the fact that heartbeat is slowly slowing down*

*Cephei sniffs softly and rests his head in Flames' chest. They were dead for about 15 minutes already. He knows it. And yet he refuses to let go. He continues to cling to the small body and pray to the old and new gods that this is just a dream. But life is cruel as usual, and they don't wake up. They don't twitch. Never. Like they usually do*

"It's all your fault"

*Says softly a hoarse voice, which makes Cephei snap his eyes open. Flames' glassy, lifeless eyes stare deep in his soul*

"...what"

"It's your fault. Why didn't you save me Cephie?"

"No. Shut up. I did what I could"

"And yet, I'm dead. All because of you. Because you couldn't stand up and help me. You failed. I trusted you"

"No. No. No. No. No. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I did my best!"

"And it wasn't enough. You f a i l e d. You hear me? You're such a useless piece of crap that you failed your own child. You never bothered to visit my grave. You made a replacement just to tone down your pain. It all your fault"

"No no no-"

*The corpse laughed as he curled up and clawed at his rays*

~~~

*Cephei shot up from his bed while panting. His eyes were full of oily black tears with golden speckles. The star furiously wiped off the tears while shaking. Their golden eyes scanned the room before landing on the plush teddy laying on the beside table*

*After few moments of debate Ebony grabbed the teddy and hugged it close while repeatedly pressing on it's chest, listening to the soft and slow heartbeat along with feeling how it's chest rose and fell. He sniffed and curled up in a ball while holding the plush close. Despite everything, he will never forget who the heartbeat belongs to*

*Cephei chuffs softly and mumbled*

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never wanted to fail you"

The spirit near him stared sadly and sighed. Its transparent form glitching from sadness

"It was never your fault. Stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't control"

But as usual, its words were never heard. After all, it's just a memory. A ghost.

[angel-on-parole]

In response to this ask, list 5 songs you enjoy listening to, post them publicly ! And send this ask to the last 10 people in your notifs (if you want).

You would make me choose like this. You would make me choose in such a broad category-

I'm jk lemme give u a list in SMALLER categories based on hyperspecific emotions I've experienced lately!

Entropy - Arrows in Action

This is for the fact I have... felt very stuck. I have several things I want to do, but they're all dependent on other factors that have to come to fruition first that I have no control over. Whether I should give up and do something more instantly gratifying specifically. It also evokes my feeling I've experienced lately regarding DC if anyone remembers that post.

2. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

This is... somewhat related to the above. I don't know if it's the feeling of foreshortened future brought on by the trauma, or the perspective I have regarding how humans don't live very long at all really, or that it feels like the world is headed for an end soon. But, I do know I just wanna curl up somewhere with the people I love and just enjoy it. I feel far older than my body would tell you (even my joints who insist I'm 60), and I certainly feel like things are far more limited as far as time. I just wanna spend it with the people and the things I do that make me happy. I don't wanna live in capitalistic need like we've been forced to (at least within the states).

3. Seventeen - The Heathers The Musical Soundtrack

Oh, god, where do I start here? There's a few factors this one was brought back to me lately, getting back together with my highschool sweetheart (Bunny) being one of them. (I guess if anyone wants that story? Ask??) It's for mourning a youth lost, where I was parentified and made my mother's therapist. It's for being so anxious about ever being in trouble and mourning every missed opportunity to sneak out and live for a change. It's for the fact I was 19 when I met my abusive ex and went from the frying pan (my mother) into the fire when I moved in with him (13 hours away from any family in either VA or SC) and didn't realize what I'd gotten myself into. I want it all back but I know it's far too late for that.

4. Goddess - Cephied ft. Nonon

Since I moved back home (well, one of two places I could consider as such on a people basis), I've... kinda been lacking in my craft because of everything I've had to get settled even months later (like I voted!! I've never had the opportunity to do that before and I had to get my ID sorted for that shit!!). A lot of the time, meditating (one of my most frequent forms of not just decompressing but also for "tuning in" really) for me looks like bedrotting. I put my headphones on, I curl up in bed (usually in the dark), and I maladaptive daydream. Yes, sounds unconventional. But it's how I've adapted my practice to my capabilities. But also I mean, my daydreams in this fashion sometimes go off the rails from what I want them to be and I feel like I've managed to adapt it into a form of oneiromancy (for those who may be confused by the term: divination through dreams!). This is probably my most often used form of it for digging up memories of past lives I have, others being tarot, the conventional form of oneiromancy, and more broadly (to give me a starting point) using a pendulum for those I feel like would be a good source to ask. I have yet to actually put my bones for osteomancy (aka bone throws) to use. (... I degreased exactly seven bones that I saved from a plate of ribs from the outback.) ... this ended up being very much a ramble about my magic practice oopsie.

5. Over It - Arrows In Action

Alright. Alright. I know. I already put Arrows In Action on this list. But also the entire album Built to Last on top of their new song Cheekbones have been obsessions lately. I blame the fact I've been hyperfocused on Vampire the Masquerade lately and my character in the solo chronicle Bunny's running for me is literally just me if I was a vampire and that the album + Cheekbones is just applicable to in and out of game stuff lately. (Seriously, go listen to at least the stuff listed individually listed here if nothing else. Their music FUCKS-) But also, specifically, this brings me to where I recently mentioned to Bunny and Puppy that there's a few different mindsets I vacillate between. I'll just paste the text for the two relevant ones. "I am a teenager/young adult who feels utterly shattered by the burdens life has placed on me. I contemplate whether it's worth it to try and keep going. My clothes smell like nicotine and I crave the release of alcohol to make things feel a little lighter." "I am an ageless being that predates man. I have seen them rise, fall, and get back up again to repeat the process for millennia. I have such disdain for some aspects, even individuals, but then I also have an overwhelming love for them."

[acnh-fortree]

4/19/24

good morning. today is gonna be a weird one. i learned i missed the cherry blossom season, but i need more of the petals, so later today im going to be time traveling. ill make sure everything rolls over normally tomorrow, but ill only be gifting and such once today, just to make it easier on myself. anyway, isabelle says kicks is here, and the statue from yesterday arrived. ill be sending that off to my friend later today

gwen and bones are both not home. im thinking of changing out one of the nearby pear trees for an apple tree

sparro is out somewhere too, but clay is home. i gave him a gold rose and he gave me a rain hat. he also told me that my favorite color being orange makes me a radish

avery is home, i gave him a gold rose and he gave me a colorful striped sweater. he also said paper towels suck

CEPHY MY BOY CEPHYYYY is home! i gave him a gold rose and he gave me a dark herringbone flooring. he also talked about shooting stars, and how he wished for peace and happiness for everyone on the island... bro.... (i snagged some good pics of the inside of his house, ill be sharing those in a bit! its one of my best works)

savannah is outside her home, getting exercise. i gave her gold roses, she gave me a comedians outfit. she also mentioned kicks was here, then stopped exercising to bother a ladybug

pippy and molly arent home, but shari is, crafting more items. i already have the apple dress recipe, so this is also going to my friend today. i gave her a gold rose, and she gave me arched brick flooring

found bones at nooks! gave him a gold rose, he gave me cute blue-tile flooring

found gwen at my southern secret beach! i gave her a gold rose, she gave me an argyle vest. she also reminded me that its been forever since ive been to spaghetti factory... (or, as i called it, "spaghet fact")

found pippy outside thinking, she wants to come over to my house. i dont feel like it rn, but i DID give her her daily gold rose, and she gave me a basketball tank

found bones again, this time at home! i like how ive done up his house too, and i also got some good pics of that. he talked about picking up baseball so i told him to talk with sparro about that

found molly at the plaza, gave her a gold rose and she gave me a sleeved apron

found sparro in the orchard, i told him bones was looking for him and gave him a gold rose. he gave me a plain paperboy cap

sent the statue and the recipe off to my friend

ill be posting those cephy and bones house pics later today :3