#abdmsjfjdbd

[accustiv-archived]

@audaciiae (kit) said: ❛ just get out of the way. ❜ / accepting

“ don’t do this, please. ” i knew it wouldn’t make a difference, no matter how much i pleaded with them, no matter what i said. kit would do whatever kit wanted to, and that would never change, not unless i got a lot smarter a lot faster than i was. i was bold, i was doing things most who knew of the chameleon would never risk, but i wasn’t under any false pretences that i was fooling them. maybe that was the reason why they hadn’t gotten rid of me yet. I took a breath, eyes importing as i placed my hand on their sleeve, bracing myself for the snap of my wrist under their fingers. i didn’t move. i didn’t get out of the way.

“ kit, ” i said, softly, as if i believed they would ever bend to such pleading, “ just give me a little more time, i can get what you need, you know i can. ” i swallowed, but it didn’t ease the lump in my throat. they’d waited a long time for this, and their violent single-minded crusade threatened so often to drag me under completely. patience wasn’t a virtue i knew they wanted to entertain. but i also knew that if they got tired of me, it would all be over. there was no way i could survive them, not if they made up their mind about me. i’d never feared someone so much that i insisted on spending so much time with.

there had been a time when i had demanded to never meet them; when i had refused to even entertain the possibility of crossing paths even accidentally. then the choice had been taken away, it had become far too dangerous, far too complicated. i’d known them for so long in strands of hair left on pillows, bruises bitten into skin, muffled thuds and moans, in hungover conversations and in the marks they left deeper than skin. and now i understood; kit was consuming, they swallowed everything around them, including me.

“ a few more days, it’ll be worth it, i promise. ”