#abandoningallthingstochrist

[redeemedbymygoel]

Christ, My Shelter in the Storm

I have a shelter in the storm When troubles pour upon me Though fears are rising like a flood My soul can rest securely O Jesus, I will hide in You My place of peace and solace No trial is deeper than Your love That comforts all my sorrows 

~”I Have a Shelter” by Sovereign Grace Music

The month of May hit me like a tsunami and boy did it hurt causing emotional wreckage and havoc everywhere. Yet, in the midst of it all, even though right now it’s really hard to feel like God is good because there are so many fears rising up, I know that Christ is my shelter in the storm and in Him I can find security. 

Today in the Bring Me Hope internship, we listened to a sermon by David Platt on talking about giving our lives with full abandon to Christ and being open to Him sending us anywhere and a Desiring God article about how for the missionaries of the old days it was a privilege to go on mission, not a sacrifice.

It’s only been 9 days but this month was SO hard emotionally... Before May 1st, I was already suffering from extremely bad stomach pains to the point of being doubled over in pain every morning before work. I had severe jet lag and I was getting all these itchy, painful bumps all over the place (and because of this couldn’t sleep out of fear of bed bugs being everywhere). May 1st, I found out from my employer that the law for the state changed where teachers in public schools now HAD to have a license to teach. Essentially, I could possibly not have a job in the fall and on top of it all, I’m losing my parent’s insurance at the end of the year. Then May 2nd, I realized I had to take two exams on stuff that I never went to school for and pass to keep my position all before going to the Bring Me Hope camp. After that, I found out that I also had limited time to get in a bunch of doctor’s appointments to get more contacts, vaccinations, and dental stuff before going to China (not to mention the airplane tickets, medical appointments, applying to the position and more are extremely expensive.) Even more, I have limited time already and will have to take sometime to pack and move to another apartment again by the end of the month on top of a friend’s wedding, field trips, and just crazy busyness (which I’m not proud of... I pray that no one would ever go through all that has happened because to be honest, Satan has used it to throw me into temptation to doubt). On top of it all, I’m inclined to worry about what my parents might think about this all considering it’s been such an amazing time that God has allowed me to share more about Christ with them, would this cause them a reason to accuse God again?

Still, in it all God reminded me of the hope I have in Christ and it is a true hope that brings me peace because the futility in hoping in the things of the world are solved by one answer alone: Jesus. I turn these into points of things we hold on to that we can let go of when we have faith in Christ in hopes that later it would bring hope when hope seems spare. 

1) Christ’s Promise Sustains Over the Hope of Physical Health: For the physical pains, I’m still struggling today, but God reminds me that He allows things to happen as He wills when I could relate on a tiny level with Job in the Bible. I thank Him that He sustains me at work each day through the pain and actually a part of me thinks, “What’s the worst that can happen? I die and go to heaven to see Jesus?” (Also praise the Lord, there were no bed bugs!!!) 

2) Christ’s Work Fulfills Greater than the Hope of Career: For the teaching for next year, the Lord helped me to simply pray that next year His will would be done. Either I’ll pass the tests and all will be as normal or I will fail the tests and actually it might be even better- I’d be able to apply for Teaching Aide jobs again or another job and be able to spend even more time in the Word! Even in failing these tests and losing a job, God still says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).”

3) Christ’s Grace is Richer than Hope of Money:  For health care costs and insurance, I can trust that God will sustain me and also that even if I don’t have insurance and all goes south, I am not outside of God’s grace and He has a place prepared for me. Even if I have to live more frugally because of health costs, the riches of God’s grace (and perhaps less distraction in the world) will sustain me even if I have less to ‘enjoy’. Again, this is like the health one, “What’s the worst that can happen? I dies and go to heave to see Jesus?”

 4) Christ’s Power in my Weakness Will Save More than the Hope of a “Perfect” Life Image: With that, in conjunction with my parent’s, perhaps this might be an even greater opportunity for God to show my parents that He is God, in my weakness and vulnerability. In fact, it says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” That’s what I need to do, I need to boast gladly in my weaknesses! I’m not rich but not poor either- God will provide, even if now my state is weakness in my parent’s eyes.

5) Christ’s Sovereignty is more Just than the Hope of Manipulating Others to Salvation: For my parents, I am reminded that God is sovereign and supreme for in Romans 9:18-21 it says, 

“So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?”

If God wants to save my parents, He will do it how He wills- it is not for me to manipulate (not that I can). My job is to be obedient and faithful and He will work out what He wills. So, I can entrust that God is good no matter how this affects my parents and I can only pray that God will prepare their hearts.

6) Christ’s Intentional Plan for Me and Work in My Life is more Wise than Hope in My Own Efforts: For the little test prep I’ve done, I even praise the Lord more because there’s a tiny bit of overlap with work and this internship! Wow!

6) Christ’s Timing is Completely Perfect over My Hope that I Can Do Everything at Once: is In all of this too, God has been supremely amazing over all the scheduling and appointments too allowing me to get everything in before I leave! Even in plane scheduling, God has allowed me to be able to go to camp in Zhengzhou for three week and so I didn’t have to pay for a super expensive ticket to another city, PRAISE THE LORD!!! I’m so grateful! Also with work calendars, the Lord allowed that come out just in time to allow me to make final decisions about camp length (I’ll be going 3 weeks since work starts earlier this year), so I’ll actually be able to be back home to see my church’s first VBS as well as have just enough money to pay for everything (I didn’t raise enough support before).

So today, I abandon these fears to the Lord and hold on to all the privileges He has given me. I don’t need to feel like these are privileges because I know what His Word says and His Word is true and in faith, I know these Words will hold me fast. All these little fears are nothing but fire arrows Satan is trying to throw and even if they weren’t, it is what I would naturally deserve if it wasn’t for God’s grace because I’m a sinner to the core and deserving of wrath. No matter what the reason is for all of these events, it’s made me confident of one thing and that Christ is the only hope for anything and I pray that God would help those around me to see it! 

In our devos for Bring Me Hope, we’ve been going through Isaiah this week and this really was a great reminder that the Lord can be trusted and in the end, I want to be able to say that I waited on the Lord and He was faithful to provide!

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,    for the Lord has spoken.  It will be said on that day,    “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.    This is the Lord; we have waited for him;    let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” 

~Isaiah 25:8-9