#aaaand poast

[pilotduty]

art request for cowboy otto !! pretty please :)

horse girl of my dreams

[cheacegirl]

If you're a cis guy and you see this there's a 50/50 shot you'd be happier as a girl. Yeah I did the math. It's true. Here, I'll flip a coin right now. Heads you're a cute little girl, tails you're actually a man.

...

Huh, tails. Well, looks like you're a guy after all.

...

.....

So then why do you look disappointed?

[illadvisedselfships]

I'm here to cash in one of those gush tickets!! 🎫😌✌️ Here's an overview of notable F/Os past and present! Some of it might not mean anything to you if you don't know the fandom, and that's alright ^^ I never dreamed I'd share any of this, so I'm really grateful that you've made this little safe space here <333 And now that I've started, I can't stop! (Truly sorry I can't put this under a readmore… Large Poast incoming.) Chronologically:

First one I ever had has to be Mrs. Coulter from The Golden Compass/Northern Lights. I chose this book because it had a polar bear on the cover and I came out on the other side with… issues XD I even wrote a self-insert thing where my daemon gets severed from me and she comforts me through it (real healthy subject matter for an 11 year old ᕕ(ᐛ )ᕗ)

Lady Van Tassel from Sleepy Hollow. I traveled to Sleepy Hollow with Ichabod as his assistant or relative? And of course she corrupted me.

Now, this is the one I debated including due to the sheer goofiness 😅😅: Lily Gates from the Urbz: Sims in the City (handheld version). I liked imagining myself in the big city and being her personal assistant.

Claudia Wolf from Silent Hill 3. Ooh in this one I did something bad (unspecified) and found myself in Silent Hill with a guilty conscience. Alone and scared, I wandered through the foggy streets and ended up in the mall, and that's where I first encountered her. She took pity on me and I'll be honest, I don't really remember the rest XD idr if her being a priestess of a terrible cult factored in to this at all 😂

Actual light of my life forever: Julie Langford from Bioshock. My imagination was definitely at its best with her!! I had a really comprehensive storyline going on, starting from when I first traveled to Rapture in the bathysphere as a little girl with my family (not based on real family). Growing up and realizing I felt uncomfortable with boys, meeting Julie at a dinner party and feeling that spark but not really getting what it meant. Maybe I casually meet her another time or two after that. Coincidentally she asks me to be her assistant right as Rapture starts to fall. I see my first Splicer when I'm with her, my family also become Splicers, aaaand before long we're some of the only unspliced people left. We spend all our time together and I make her feel like she's responsible for me, we scrounge around for food and she protects me from Splicers and tenderly wipes the blood off my face and I help her out in her lab when we're not busy trying to survive, and still it feels like it takes the longest time for us to get together for real, but we do eventually. (side note: I am insane.) My daydreams have run their course I think but they were my favorite and the most vivid <333

Cersei from Game of Thrones. In this one, I'm the bastard daughter of Roose Bolton and I get sent to King's Landing for reasons unknown. Probably unrealistic! shrug I comfort her after her walk of shame and although our relationship is mildly antagonistic, she enlists me to help with, uh, the thing she does in season 6 episode 10 that involves wildfire. I am also obsessed with leech treatment in this one XD (in the books, Roose is known as the Leech Lord)(this is where the "leech" comes from on my other blog!) I got a lot of mileage from the Roose-Bolton's-bastard-daughter self insert XD In an alternate timeline, I have a thing for Lady Stoneheart (in extremely crude and basic terms, Catelyn Stark's sentient reanimated corpse), even though our families absolutely despise one another. Don't ask how I made that work, because I don't remember 💀 (A last-minute addition as I was proofreading this ask... I'm fully committing to the crazy.)

Cassandra Kiramman from Arcane. I'm actually not in the canon universe for this one. I had an AU where I was a ballet dancer and she was my instructor, haha. Also: Arcane was my introduction to x reader fic!! (though I'd been reading shipfic long before that.)

✨ Current F/Os!! ✨ Foul that it's taken me this long to get here 😑 Unfortunately, I feel like my imagination has taken a nosedive lately. I don't have storylines for these, more like little snippets of scenes. I'm in the devouring all the writing I can get my hands on stage ♥️

Yuria from Dark Souls 3 and Rennala from Elden Ring. I basically picture myself in the role of the player character ^^

I'm very into Lady Tremaine, and the Nurse from Dead by Daylight atm. With Tremaine there's just something about a buttoned-up repressed domineering woman and being the one to crack that shell just a little 😳 And with the Nurse I love the contrast between the griminess and creepiness and her sweetness. And her mori where she caresses the survivor's face 🥺 (most of the "lore" I get comes from youtube videos and reader inserts 💀)

Finally, one where they're actually in the modern world with me, since I mentioned that in a previous comment ^^ I fell in love with Maria Doyle Kennedy as Mrs. S. in Orphan Black, and during the initial lockdown in 2020, my main daydream scenario was with me becoming a lodger in her house (she's just a random person in this, not an actress). We garden and raise chickens together 🥰

I think I just cashed in all of my tickets 🙈🙈🙈 Now you probably know more about me than you bargained for 😅 This was actually incredibly fun to write. You have a great imagination - it's awesome that you're able to imagine your F/Os in multiple different scenarios and universes!! I can't really do that. Absolutely no pressure to reply right away!! 💜

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I love all this!! You have some great ideas for your F/O's!!!

1. Omg that Mrs Coulter thing is e x c e l l e n t XDD So dark and oddly soft XD Hey- as girlies we made up some pretty awful things when we were little! XD If it wasn't Barbies in the mafia it was something else!

2. I too love Lady Van Tassle- I can understand completely XD And we love some corruption! 😅😅😅 Especially if it is by a pretty lady-

3. Omg I've never heard of Lily Gates! XD She definitely fits your theme though and I support you!

4. I haven't heard of Claudia Wolf either but as soon as I read your descript and looked her up I want OH. I get it XD Priestess?? Culty?? Scary old white haired woman? I am very very intrigued XD

5. HNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG your imagination really was clear on this one!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 This whole storyline is so good, I love your brain XD Also to your 'i am insane' -- my love we all are, its okay XD

6 + 7. Cersei, huh? Absolutely cannot blame you XD And Lady Stoneheart is just s o 💗💗💗💗💗💗??????? I don't even know tis woman but 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 We love them decrepit babes.

8. Oh she's so pretty! She seems classy ^^ Thank you for your service ma'am (Introducing you to x reader fanfic XD ).

9+10. These videogame ladies look so lovely!! I cant stop thinking what amazing taste you have XD

11. LADY TREMAINE AND SALLY LADY TREMAINE AND SALLY LADY TREMAINE AND SALLY- I agree so heavily on them both, these are some great F/O's <3<3<3 Imagine Lady Tremaine using that evil eye of hers to make someone back off you or Sally touching you so so gently! <3

12. Ohhhh, thats so so so sweet!! I love this for you ^^

[campyvillain]

Every morning I wake up and see spamton posts *cries tears of joy*

see….THIS is whaddi like to hear……ok for the rest of this ask you have to imagine me as a mafia boss ok. just so you know . ok? ok. here we go. Takes a big swig of my mafia boss juice NOW IM TELLIN YA. if one of my goofsters ain’t rockin with the “Spang Ton “ poasts me and my merry band a motherfuckers make….aye tell ya what i do to em. i put theyre ass’s in the OCEANS. DROWN EM. but you kid? yer oneathe good ones. YOu got “Gusto” kid. you got a good enough head on ya shoulders to know what’s up.. and what’s daown. i like ya kid. you’re gonna go Places that’s for sure. but if i catchya spurtin a bad word about that G. Spamton guy…it’s ova for ya. aaaand post

[lacefuneral]

men's breasts. aaaand poast

[chthonicgodling]

“Oh. It’s not my baby! 

...........I mean it is technically my baby but it’s. Not. Really.”

now that a certain someone is getting REALLY CLOSE TO HER DUE DATE it’s time I stopped putting this post off hHUHHHH

i know no one’s really lookin at me here anymore but i’m obligated to announce via elysium drama update comic that:

 ~*Chal and Bel are having an Oopsie Baby!*~

bUT IT’S KINDA MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT SO UNDER THE CUT WE GO

after some ah, magic potion shenanigans courtesy of Hecate, geniuses 1 & 2 (Bel and Chal) failed to realize that a fertility potion mixed with no contraceptives WILL PROBABLY RESULT IN A BABY, AND SURE ENOUGH! needless to say, disaster girl Chal was not (and is not) any time soon ready for parenthood but after a lot of drama and tears and decision making skills, she elected to sort ofkeep it around after all. Where is baby going if Chal’s not keeping it? well!

See, fortunately, deity babies, upon achieving in utero immortality (which happens pretty quick, though not immediately), can kinda be.... stuck anywhere to incubate (case in point please refer to dionysus, aka now the joke i’ve been beating into the ground over and over thru this whole messs..... ah yes.... the Dionysus method of childbirth, aka. extraction.) and FORTUNATELY there happened to BE a viable womb and a viable parent standing nearby who was more than willing to jump in-- hence, the ChalBel baby several months ago was shifted on over into Tory’s womb, who was already harboring his and Maci’s own little baby, so that Tory and Maci could adopt it and raise it as a twin/sibling to theirs! many months later here we are!

Tory’s literally like, DUE any day now, and I’ve held back on posting anything here this entire time cause I couldnt for the life of me figure out what I wanted to draw for the “”announcement””” since it was sure not a fun event for Chal & Bel and it felt so depressing to draw for a while ffhghgh LUCKILY this is a real short chunk of a real canon convo I was able to adapt, of Chal accidentally spilling the beans to Gany and Cinthy, aaaand you, the viewer.

in the time that’s followed since this all happened, Chal and Bel and Tory and Maci have discovered that: the ChalBel baby is a girl, has several of Ker’s features (notably some spider legs! I have her designs and will poast eventually), as well as wings and an arrow tail too :) its been.... a lot but no one cares about any of this so i’ll keep it to myself unless anyone asks fhghgh. anyway. now the secret’s out and i can post more things as they happen THATS IT BYEEEE THANKS FOR READING IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END

Cinthy feat. here belongs to @waywardfangir1, Chal & Gany are mine, and obv the mentioned Bel & Tory do belong to @fenixethekid 

[wildandmoody]

HUWAAAGH someone found a somewhat sewer sidal poast i made back to 2017 and replied to it.... aaaand post deleted

just when i thought i got all of them.....the bs to content ratio was so bad when i was in school thank goodness im better about that at least