#aaaaaaaggh. need to sleep.
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can feel a breakdown coming on but i have a shift at 8:45am i Cannot stay awake half the night tonight
#all my friends are leaving for christmas#and over the last couple of days i’ve spilled my guts to someone highly important to me over voice note and they listened to the first half#and it was fine probably i think but now the second half is there and im once again scared about it#also maybe potentially the anticipation of doing as many shifts as i am over the next week and a half is making me stress especially bc#there is no one else in the house from tonight and i really don’t do well alone when im in this mental frame#dreading everyone leaving and dreading deadlines and dreading finishing uni and dreading having to confront my father over holding important#documents of mine hostage and dreading everything#just want a hug from one of the four people who always make it better but unfortunately three of them are not in this city atm#and the fourth is the one i’ve just spilled my guts to. also the only one i still can’t ask for physical touch from.#aaaaaaaggh. need to sleep.
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