#a. no one except for trey actually fell for his gentlemanly facade

[thegoldencontracts]

no no you don’t understand, jade’s mushroom plush is a poisonous species. it’s a devious villain just like him… cause he is totally the epitome of evil… so if anything, having robert on his bed proves how malicious he is… cuddling with it shows how evil he can be

Indeed, Jade's little mushroom plushie is extremely evil, and commanding! The plushie... Named Robert... Who he keeps insisting is incredibly handsome...

If he ever shows it to you or I, I'm afraid to say he should expect laughter. Not because it's stupid or laughable to sleep with plushies, but rather, because he's trying so hard to make this plushie seem intimidating when it just- isn't. It's not scary Jade. I'm afraid you're not, in fact, a heatless creature of sadistic pain.

Jade will never admit to anyone how often he snuggles withc Robert the mushroom plushie. If you somehow manage to get in his room while he's not on guard, you might find him snuggling the plushie with a content sigh. You will then promptly be made to swear a vow of silence.

B-But you guys just don't get it, okay? Jade's mushroom plushie is the most intimidating, devious creature to ever exist. Just like him It's not cute, and neither is he. Indeed, he's so evil, cold, and cunning, leaving most humans quaking in fear... Just like Robert. They truly are a villainous duo.