#a week before my computer died I had started working on some new gifs

[ilovewhiteroses]

Play Pretend

Pairing: Actor!Ty Shaw x Female Agent Reader Genre: Fluff, humour, drama Warnings: Some smut and curse words Rating: 18+ Notes: - This time I wanted to write about another Boyd character, Ty Shaw from the 2022 movie 'Vengeance'. - The story is set in an alternative universe, where Ty is an actor who does romantic comedies - Thank you @jessamydreams for the main idea and Dax @ruflirtingwithme for the southern euphemisms  💕💕

 Ty Shaw, the charming actor, has hired you as his agent and assistant. One day he was invited to a wedding. Since he was single and didn't want to go alone, he asked you to play his girlfriend

Despite becoming a popular actor, Tyler Clayton Shaw remained the nice guy he always was. Born and raised in Texas, Ty has always valued family and his mom taught him to always respect women. He liked hamburgers, especially when they came from a fast food restaurant called ’Whataburger’, and he also liked conspiracy theories. People told him that he had both the looks and the talent to be an actor. Ty himself toyed with the idea several times, and finally decided to move to New York to find an agent and go to auditions. The plan worked and soon after he became the new heartthrob of romantic comedies.

Unfortunately, however, poor Ty has had a hard time lately. His sister, Abilene died last year, and now his girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago. In addition to all this, his career began to decline and the good roles avoided him. Ty was so distraught by these that he decided to retire from filming for a while. He didn't leave his house and didn't answer the phone to anyone except his mother or grandmother. This went on for a few months until one day Ty decided: he would return to acting, but this time he wanted more dramatic roles. He fired his old agent and moved to Los Angeles.

You were sitting in front of your computer as you just uploaded your resume to a job search site. You worked as an agent and assistant in Hollywood and now you were looking for a new job. Your most recent client was a talented, young actress who was suddenly overtaken by popularity and unfortunately, that came at a price. She went to clubs to party more than to work on sets. At first you tried to help her, but even after several requests she refused to change so you quitted. You hoped that your new client would be a much more mature and responsible person.

You didn't have to wait long, a few days later your phone rang.

"Hello! Am I talking to Y/N?” asked a pleasant male voice with a southern accent.

"Yes, it's me."

"Great! My name is Ty Shaw.” the name was familiar to you. "I recently moved here from New York and I'm looking for a new agent. I read your resume and called to ask if you would work for me. You don't have to answer now, I'd like to meet in person before that." he said kindly. You agreed and decided on where the meeting should be.

 The meeting took place in a fancy restaurant, which was popular among celebrities. Ty told you about his career and why he moved to Los Angeles, and you told him about your past clients. You found him likable. In fact, even a handsome guy. No wonder that fans were so into him. He was tall, blond, and blue-eyed - like the prince in the fairy tale, only in person. In addition, all this was accompanied by a deep, sexy voice... but stop it right there! Your job was to take care of his acting career, you weren't allowed to think about other things.

So you started working for him. You called several directors and producers to let you know if they know of any drama projects, because your client was looking for just such opportunities. Until there was nothing interesting, Ty started to workout again and paid more attention to his inner peace, because deep inside he still couldn't move on from the bad things that previously happened to him. Over time he opened up to you and told you what hurt his soul. You listened to him and gave him advice. You not only looked for good roles for him, but you paid attention to him as a person and he appreciated that.

When there was something that caught his interest, you called the director and went to the meeting with Ty. He was considered for one of the lead roles in a yet-untitled family drama, which would be a great opportunity for him to make a comeback. Filming will start in a few months, and Ty had time to immerse himself in the script and prepare for the role.

Lately, you've realized that you're not just co-workers anymore, but friends. Ty often told you about his childhood in Texas and his family, sometimes he was explaining you wild conspiracy theories. You liked it that he was so honest and sweet with you. Of course, just like all celebrities, Ty also went to parties, but with responsibility, because the paparazzi were everywhere and he didn't want to bring shame on himself and his family by being photographed in a drunken state. You were very happy about this.

One day when Ty got home after swimming in the ocean, he found an envelope in his mailbox. Official and film stuff was sent to your office, personal letters went to Ty. Inside the envelope was an invitation: it turned out that his childhood best friend, Gerry was getting married in the Bahamas. Ty whistled as he read the text with a tasteful font.

"Wedding on an island? Look at that! Gerry, things turned out well for ya!" he said approvingly as he ran a hand through his hair and entered his house. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't seen Gerry for a long time, but Gerry must have read about him on some celeb gossip website and knew about his breakup. Shit! Everyone will go with their partner, and he didn't have anyone. Ty didn't want to be pitied for being single. He had to figure something out: who could he take with him? He looked at the names in his phone and caught his eyes on yours. It's true that you were his agent, but at the same time, you were also his good friend. He thought about what it would be like if he asked you to play his girlfriend.

In the late afternoon, you were in the kitchen putting the dirty dishes and cutlery into the dishwasher when the bell rang. You went outside and saw Ty.

"Hi! What's up?" you asked as you let him in and invited him into your apartment.

"Nothing special. I mean…the thing is…well…” Ty was visibly embarrassed, searching for words. "I was invited to my childhood friend's wedding."

"That’s great! And where will it be?” you asked as you went back to clean up. You didn't leave it there just because he was present.

"In the Bahamas." Ty replied, rocking himself back and forth slightly in confusion.

"Wow! Then it will be very nice! And who are you taking with you?” you asked. Only after a few seconds of pause Ty spoke.

"Well, that's why I came. I was thinking what if… well… if you pretended to be my girlfriend.” Hearing the request, the glass almost fell out of your hand.

"What?" you couldn't believe your ears. In your career, you have never been asked by a client to do something like this.

"You can say no, I would completely understand it. I could look for someone else."

"No, it's not that, it's just that I'm your agent and I don't know if this is a good idea."

"Look, let's just pretend that we're together and after that we can go back to the old ways." Ty said, somewhat relieved.

"Well, if you insist on it, then fine, I'll pretend I'm your girlfriend. But no funny business!” Ty put his hand over his heart.

"I promise I'll be a gentleman the entire time, ma'am."

"Okay then. Now that you're my “boyfriend”, in return, tomorrow, you have to come look at clothes with me for the wedding." you told him with a grin. Ty rolled his eyes and smiled.

So that's how you became Ty Shaw's new girlfriend and you hoped that you would give an authentic performance. And then, what trouble can come out of this? You go and have a good time, that's all.

 To get used to each other, you arrived on the island a week before the wedding and stayed in an elegant hotel room. The furniture in the room and the bathroom were decorated in white and cream colors, and the balcony provided a magnificent view of the blue ocean. You unpacked and looked around.

"This is breathtakingly beautiful!" you said leaning back on the bed.

"It is. This is the most beautiful hotel room I have ever been in.” he said and sat next to you on the bed. You closed your eyes and rested for a few minutes, because you were exhausted from the flight. Ty looked at you in silence, admiring your beauty. For a moment, it was as if he felt something for you…

You opened your eyes and sat up.

"What shall we do?" you asked him.

"I think we should go and eat at a restaurant and then have a good night's sleep. We'll see Gerry and his family tomorrow.”

"Okay."

You went out for dinner then Ty signed autographs and took selfies with some fans. After returning to your room, you quickly brushed your teeth, had a shower and put on your oversized t-shirt and panties combo.

"I'm done, you can go now." you said to Ty who was sitting on the sofa waiting his turn.

"I’ll go then." he said while looking at your nice legs. For a moment, just for fun, he imagined what could be under your t-shirt...

"Where do you want to sleep?" you asked him, jolting him back to reality.

"Well, uh, the sofa will be fine for me, you just sleep in the bed." he replied scratching his head in confusion.

"Sure?"

"Sure."

You packed away your used clothes and were preparing for a new set for tomorrow, when Ty took off his shirt and flashed you his sexy, naked upper body. As much as you liked the sight, you tried to stare at him unobtrusively. He's your client! The sentence echoed in your head. Ty went into the bathroom and you got into bed and turned on the TV until you both fell asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night and went to Ty. You woke him up softly. You took off your t-shirt and leaned in to kiss him. A little later you and him were rolling naked on the bed...

Your phone's alarm went off. You turned it off and went back to bed for a few more minutes. You buried your face in your hands. You had a very sexy dream last night that seemed quite real. You couldn't help it because Ty was a very attractive guy. But even then, you were already embarrassed by the thought of how you would be able to look him in the eye after this.

  In the coming days, you met Gerry and his future wife, Vanessa, their relatives and the other guests. Fortunately, you played the boyfriend and girlfriend with convincing authenticity, and everyone believed that you were a couple in love. Meanwhile, you and Ty sometimes went for a walk on the beach, hand in hand, and to avoid the fans at the restaurant, you took dinner up to your room. After a few days, you both felt as if you had been in a relationship for a while. You laughed a lot and debated various interesting and less interesting theories. In addition to these, of course, sex was also discussed and you learned a few intimate things about each other.

When you went swimming in the ocean, you put on your sexiest bikini. "Lord have mercy!" Ty said to himself. While you were happily swimming, he started to fantasize...He imagined kissing your neck and untying your binding top and bottom, and then you would make love on the beach...You often hinted at naughty things and looked at each other's bodies when you had the chance. Although you were still sleeping in the bed and he was still sleeping on the sofa, the sexual tension between you was obvious.

 Three days before the wedding, you went partying at one of the local clubs. You danced a lot and drank tequila. When you were no longer thirsty, you asked Ty to teach you some southern euphemisms.

” Good Golly Miss Molly! I’m bein' two sheets to the wind.”

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm fucking drunk! Hehe!” Ty said laughing so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.

"Say more of these!" you pleaded.

"What's that, sweetheart? You likin’ the southern style? Okay, listen: Bless yer heart. It can mean good, but it can also mean fuck you.”

"Oh. Then I'll pay attention when I say it."

"There is also: To be six ways from Sunday. It means my brain is so scattered it's thinking six ways from Sunday or I got so much to do, I'm just six ways from Sunday.”

"These are so good!" you told him biting your lip. As a result of the drink, his accent came out even more, which you found very sexy.

"Right?" Ty asked and looked into your eyes before grabbing your shoulder. "I think it's time..hehe..to go back to the ho..tel."

You somehow managed to get back to your room. You didn't turn on the light because it would have disturbed your eyes and then the moonlight illuminated the room just enough.

"I think... I'll go and take a shower." you said and were about to head to the bathroom when Ty grabbed your arm and pulled you close. You looked deeply into each other's eyes. Your heart started beating faster than it should. Emboldened by the alcohol, Ty kissed you as an experiment. You closed your eyes and felt his soft lips on yours. When Ty felt you weren't protesting, he held you closer to him and you tilted your head a little to the side so you could kiss each other more passionately. You stopped and pulled your clothes off each other. Not long after, you found yourself naked in bed. Ty started kissing your breasts, licking your nipples. This made you moan out loud and he took that as encouragement and went lower. He gently bit your thighs and then started to pleasure you with his tongue in your most intimate part. It was so good and he was doing it so well that you started to squirm under him and grip the sheets wildly. When you were wet enough, Ty stopped.

"I'll bring a condom, don't go anywhere!" he said enthusiactically.

"I won’t." you said and laughed.

Ty came back and tore the condom open with his teeth, put it on him and leaned over you. He kissed you and carefully placed himself inside you. You imagined him to be just like this... You scratched his back while he moved his hips with wild thrusting movements. You had such a crazy good time that you were surprised that the bed didn't break. You've wanted this ever since you met him and now your wish has finally come true...

 The next day you woke up with a hangover and a headache. Before you got out of bed, you saw your crumpled clothes on the floor and you looked behind you to see Ty lying on his stomach and snoring loudly. This was already suspicious to you, then you looked under your covers and saw that you were naked...

Oh God, no.

The realization sobered you up almost immediately, although your head still hurt. What happened last night? You had a couple of drinks and laughed a lot, then you got back to your room and... well, exactly what you thought happened.

You felt terrible, you felt like you made a mistake.

You got out of bed and looked for painkillers, while Ty slowly regained consciousness. He turned on his back and opened his eyes.

"Hey! What are you doing?” he asked lazily. You didn't dare to answer him. You took the medicine and pretended to pack in your bag in your embarrassement. When you heard Ty swearing softly to himself, you felt nervous. As embarrassing as it was, you had to settle things. You walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed.

"My head hurts like hell! Wait a minute? Why am I naked and what are my clothes doing on the floor...and yours?" he asked as he slowly scanned the room with his eyes before returning to you. "Did we…?"

"Yes. I'm afraid. Look, this shouldn't have happened.”

"Fuck no! Fuck!" Ty said angrily as he got out of bed. "No! This shouldn't have happened! Just because we pretend to be a couple, we shouldn't have done it!"

"We drank too much that night and we both lost control." you tried to explain the situation. Ty tried to say something but couldn't find the words. You just looked at each other in silence for a few minutes, then he spoke.

"You're right. We were both drunk and then... As embarrassing as it is, let's try to pretend like nothing happened."

"It won't be that easy." you told him between deep sighs.

Another few seconds of silence followed.

"You know what? I think it would be better if I went to another room until Saturday, so that I could clear my head and think about us. Will we still be able to maintain our working relationship and friendship after this?" he asked with sad eyes. You nodded, you also thought it would be better if you separated for a while. Ty also took painkillers, showered, and then called the reception to ask for another room. He gathered his belongings and left.

 You didn't see him until the day of the wedding. You were trying to think about what to do next. It is certain that you can no longer regard each other as mere friends. You hoped Ty wouldn't think of firing you. The thought felt like a punch in the stomach.

 Saturday has finally come. You wore a peach-colored dress with straps, because the invitation stipulated that the guests should wear brightly colored clothes. You went to the beach, almost everyone was already there. Until the ceremony started, you admired the wonderful decorations and flowers, while you chatted a little with the people you met during the week.

"Where is your boyfriend?" asked one of the bride's friends. You had to come up with something fast.

"Well, um. He still had a few phone calls to make, but he'll be here soon." you replied with a forced grin. Once everyone had arrived and taken their seats, the ceremony began, but Ty was still nowhere to be seen. You were just starting to worry when luckily he appeared and sat next to you.

"Am I late?" he asked, adjusting his cufflinks.

"No, it's just beginning." you answered You took a closer look at him. He looked so good in his elegant suit that it made your heart flutter. Feelings swirled inside you. You wanted Ty to be there with you and not. You wanted him, but at the same time you didn't. You enviously looked at Gerry and Vanessa, the happiness on their faces and sighed sadly.

You tried to have a good time at the wedding party, the delicious food and drinks made you forget your bad mood for a while. You talked to Gerry's mom and you saw Ty talking to several women. As you watched him cheerfully chatting with them, you didn't like the sight, in fact, you were almost jealous. To overcome this feeling, you quickly went to the bar to have a drink and then looked for a good guy to dance with. You found a dance partner in one of Gerry's colleagues. He was very nice and couldn't help but compliment you on how pretty you were. While you were dancing, you noticed Ty, who was also dancing with a woman he was talking to earlier. He was looking at you intensely, as if he wanted to annoy you.

A little later, you sat at one of the tables and looked at your phone. A slow song started playing and Ty walked over to you and held out his hand.

"May I ask you for a dance?" he asked you like a southern gentleman. You nodded, put down the phone and gave him your hand. He led you to the dance floor and gently put his arm around your waist. You started swaying to the slow tune.

"I forgot to say, but you look beautiful."

"Thanks, others have already said it." you replied somewhat sarcastically. Ty could feel that you were angry.

"Look. I would like to apologize for requesting another room and disappearing for a while. I thought about the two of us and what happened. The fact is that I've had a lot of fun with you for the past few days and well...I have to admit, the sex was amazing too. We took our role a little too seriously." he smiled in embarrassment and continued. "Despite what happened, I would like you to remain my agent, but after this we can only have a working relationship, nothing more. I hope you understand." he said in a more serious tone this time.

"Yes." you answered. His words nearly broke your heart...

Slowly everyone left, you also returned to the hotel. Ty wished you goodnight and gave you a kiss on the cheek before going to his own room. Tired and with a heavy heart, you washed off your make-up, showered and then tried to sleep a little. The next day you and him took the early evening flight back to Los Angeles.

 Ty was about to start shooting the movie soon, which would hopefully bring him back to the top league of Hollywood. He kept his word and now really only saw you as his agent and assistant. You only spoke on the phone and only met in person when you gave him a script. You were bitter that your friendship turned into this, but you kept to your agreements.

Lying in your bed at night, you thought about Ty a lot. It true that he was an actor, but when you were on the island, you felt that his feelings for you were genuine. The way he looked at you, that look was everything. Then you remembered that night. His kiss on your lips, on your body, the smell of his skin, the weight of his body on you, your lustful moans... You had to admit, you missed him.

 A couple of weeks later you got a text from Ty.

Can we talk? In person.

You wrote back yes, and then your doorbell rang. You were surprised, but you went outside and it turned out that he was standing at the gate. You let him in into your apartment.

"If you're wondering, there were more roles, but none of them were of interest to you..."

"That's not what I came for." he cut you off suddenly. "I want to talk to you, tell you something." he said seriously. You gulped.

"What would it be?"

"Um." Ty looked away for a moment, then continued. "You know that I'm already preparing for the role and I've been thinking about things, including us. When we were on the island and when I realized what we had done in the morning after the night, I panicked and was confused. I needed some time to clear my mind. We've been getting along so well so far and you know, I've been toying with the idea of what if..." he pointed to you and then to himself. "You and I...we'd try. Because let's face it, we're two adults who know each other pretty well and know what's under the other's clothes." Ty said half-jokingly.

"Are you serious?" you asked because you thought he wasn’t.

”If I wasn’t serious, I wouldn't be here now and I wouldn't have said these things."

Hearing his words calmed you, because you were convinced that he had come to tell you that he could no longer work with you and that you were fired.

"Well, you know, what you said, they crossed my mind too, but… if you're really serious about this, then I think we could try.” you said with a half smile.

You talked about that you will start dating and will take it slow and see how things will go later between the two of you.

💕

Tags: @harlekin6, @thecorilove86, @ruflirtingwithme,

@i-like-the-eyes, @suziejolie @drowningnikki

@slasherbaby, @jessamydreams @kingredking

@merryandrewsworld, @e-dubbc11, @destiny-rahl​

[someonechaotic]

I got no images but loads of sims drama

as I am still unable to access the online world upon my computer, I’m stuck with no images once again. However, this save is chaotic enough that if I didn’t talk about it I’d regret it,

so introducing My Saved Game 40, with the household Big Oh No, I need to introduce al the sims but that will be under the cut to prevent me from accidently bombarding your poor page

Alright, so I started with 7 sims (this is important trust me) my sims being:

Zaidan, also nicknamed hot werewolf dilf for reasons that would be obvious if I had a picture but for now you gotta trust me on this, always punching punchbags or working out or bullying monochrome motherfucker Ron

Dumbass, I introduced him already in my first blog along with photos, he’s human, he’s stupid and he’s back for more

Vito, comedic genius with a love for food, would actually probably try to marry ice cream, human (was) and yea

Angel, literally does fuck all in this save except get extremely jacked and I mean JACKED his piss would probably break the moon in half

you know where I got that from

Ron, Vampire that also does nothing except be bullied, a few things I’ll tell later and play the violin, and go literally insane over hip hop music what is this guys problem

magdaleno, also does nothing, alien, yeah

And Ainsley, yeah you can tell which two sims I focused on this save huh… Vampire rockstar yeah

My save starts of pretty normal, Clemente frost asking my sim if he wants to go to Batuu, zaidan and Ron arguing as dumbass is in the background playing video games, nothing much really happens within the first few days other than dumbass getting a job and me adding a pool,

it’s only until a sim week? Is when all the sudden, magdaleno decides he’s a mermaid just like Angel and tries to sleep in the fucking pool.

let’s just say he definitely didn’t wake up from that sleep. But I don’t know if his death cursed my household or not, because all the sudden my sims started dropping like flies,

after I had gotten Magdaleno’s ghost into my household I saved my game, a couple of uneventful minutes go by, or what I thought were uneventful minutes, because I realise that some time between now and retrieving magdaleno I’m back down to six sims

I check my sims, Zaidan… Dumbass… Magdaleno… Ains… Vito???? WHERES VITO?

So I start panicking and searching through the house like it’s home alone

Eventually I go into vitos room and find a fucking urn, no death scene, no camera movement, he just died without a warning from laughter

after that panic is over, I start panicking again, because now my stupid fucking vampire Ainsley has drank from dumbass and is now running across the sunny streets possessed

so now they’re dead too I’m screaming grabbing vito and getting him to plead for Ainsley but it’s too fucking late and the grim jeeper already has their soul in hand probably sick of seeing my household

anyway, 3 ghosts in household later and it’s werewolf time, during all this, dumbass has been befriending the werewolf in the household, me and my friend then decided that werewolf dumbass is just what this world needs, one cursed bite later and dumbass nearly starving to death and now we have two werewolves feraly roaming the household

Now, this is where I find my new found love for werewolves, I always doubted werewolves in this game cause idk I didn’t like how they looked, but finally playing them, I really enjoy them, gotta play a wolf who does nothing but terrorise sims still….

anyway, also found out werewolves and possession dont mix….

for some reason, what I thought would be a goofy mess also turned ot wholesome, because my Veteran werewolf Zaidan ended up mentoring Dumbass through it in a way, and in no time Dumbass was already a uh WHATS the fucking rank called the one before veteran I forgot but he went up in the ranks pretty darn fast

and then my other dumbass vampire sim drank from him, became pissed, then became possessed and then also proceeded to die in the same way my other vampire did

I swear these fucking vampires don’t Leeann a Fucking lesson

a couple of sims days go by pretty uneventfully, dumbass becomes more celebrity I guess, but that’s all, that is until my ghost, Ainsley, gets FUCKING ABDUCTED by aliens

and this is where I say “oh for fucks sake that was for dumbass, you can’t get impregnated by aliens”

little did I know. I guess dumbass’s alien luck is only passed down to werewolves who decide to make him one of them, because next thing I know my hot werewolf dilf Zaidan is up in the sky in a UFO

I didn’t think that much of it when he came back, just thought “oh for fucks sake that one was for dumbass too you bitch”

but when I click on the spaceship with him accidently, I find out too early that he’s FUCKING PREGNANT!?!

so this is where I REALLY panic, it was already tough enough fitting seven sims in the house, let alone a fucking eighth

also I was not fucking prepared for a fucking child on the way, and neither was zaidan

so he gives birth to a boy that I forgot his name but quickly became obsessed with zaidan and his child because I noticed that zaidan would only sleep on the floor next to his child’s crib and I have way too many photos of this on my computer because it’s fucking adorable

nothing much really happens after that, my ghosts are afraid of ghosts, zaidan raises a surprisingly great child, dumbass continues to be a pain in the ass with his werewolf temptrements can’t fucking spell the word but SERIOUSLY THEY GAVE MY TECHIE SIM WHO WORKS AS A TECH GURU FUCKING EASILY EXCITABLE, GRUMPY WOLF AND I FORGOT THE OTHER ONE BUT HE CANT BE INSIDE FOR LONG TIMES I swear I’m gonna put his fucking computer outside

if you don’t know easily excitable is when the werewolf gains fury by being playful, watching TV and, get this, playing video games

this has ruined my geek tech guru techie sim this man’s life literally runs on video games come on

grumpy wolf is where they need to sleep more times else they also gain fury which also happens right when dumbass needs to go outside so good job I got him Wolf Nap while I did

and I think his last one he got given was Prideful which wasn’t too bad I don’t think but these are a pain in the ass already

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week #132 (Year 3/Week 28):

Another serendipitous discovery, The blue sky maiden by Japanese New Wave director Yasuzo Masumura. He is considered by some to be "the most important filmmaker in the history of postwar Japanese cinema", still I never heard of him before.

Yuko Ono, a lovely country girl, travels to Tokyo to find her mother, and is being reminded to always look for 'the bright blue sky’ above. An utterly modern and unorthodox adventure story, full of impromptu and unusual touches. An underrated gem. I am going to start exploring some of his 58 feature films! Recommended!

(Photo Above).

🍿

2 Iranian classics:

🍿 A moment of innocence, my first by celebrated director Mohsen Makhmalbaf. A textually complicated semi-autobiographical reenactment of an incident from his own life. As a teenager, he had stabbed a policeman at a protest rally and for that he was jailed for 5 years. Fragmented, multi-layered and enigmatic meta-film about making the movie he wanted to make. The trailer.

🍿 “Today I learned” about 'Persian Sylvia Plath', the influential and controversial poet Forugh Farrokhzad. She was a modernist feminist and iconoclast who broke barriers of sex and society and who died in 1967 at the age of 32.

She only directed one short film, The house is black, and in 1963 it paved the wave for the "Iranian New Wave". It's a harrowing, relentless documentary shot at the real-life Bababaghi leper colony, and it combines 'Ugliness' and 'Suffering' with 'Gratitude', like no other film I've ever seen. (Alain Resnais's Night and fog' notwithstanding). Powerful and very disturbing, you'll be better off for seeing it. 10/10.

During the 12 days of shooting, she became attached to a boy from the colony, and later adopted him.

A Paris Review exploration of Forough Farrokhzad.

🍿

La Collectionneuse, my 9th beautiful film by Éric Rohmer, the 3rd of his 'Six moral tales'.

On the one hand, there's the sensuous, lazy vacation at a rented summer villa near St Tropez, generously shot by Néstor Almendros in his first feature - there's nothing better on film than that. On the other hand, there are the two young, 'Hip' males who just can't get over an even younger free-spirit girl who hangs around the house, and who sleeps around without paying attention to what they, or anybody else, think. So they ruminate and philosophize and moralize and try to rationalize their piggish sexism and lust for her. They derogatorily nickname her 'The Collector' (of man) - What an outrage! 7/10.

🍿

2 by independent director Andrew Bujalski:

🍿 Computer Chess took me by complete surprise: It started as a grainy 1980 documentary about The American Computer Chess Convention, where two dozen nerdy enthusiasts gather to pit their programs against other computer chess programs and human players in a tournament for a grand prize of $7500. But something did not add up. There were odd moments and quirky idiosyncrasies creeping up. Cats meowing in the corridors, a human potential meet-up next door, middle age swingers... Only halfway though it dawned on me: This is not a found-footage documentary! It's an innovative weirdness, the best "Mumblecore" exercise I ever saw. The eccentric mannerism of the geeky dweebs and awkward geniuses was pitch-perfect. 8/10.

🍿 Support the Girls belongs to Regina Hall, who plays a general manager of a local Hooters-style restaurant bar. It's a realistic story of real people, low-income, hard-working, no special talents, with no glitz or special hooks. It was one of Obama's favorite movies of 2018.

🍿

'Computer Chess' overlaps with Mike Judge's hilarious HBO show Silicon Valley. Watching the first season again with zero lossless compression and still with a Weissman Score or 5.2. Pitch-perfect 6 morsels of 29 incredible minutes each. 9/10.

🍿

Adam's Rib, (Only my second by George Cukor, after 'Gaslight') and one of the 9 movies that fascinating barefoot superstar Katharine Hepburn made with her real-life lover Spencer Tracy. A sweet tale about a married couple, who are both lawyers, and have to face each other in court. Hepburn was one of the most independent celebrities of the old Hollywood, and here she plays the same fully actualized feminist: She drives their car, they cook together (she does the roast, he tosses the salad), and he cries when she rejects him. She also wins the 'Battle of the sexes'. Hurray! 8/10.

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The wave is an interesting German thriller that was based on Ron Jones' social movement 'The Third 'Wave'. Like the 1967 California school experiment, a German high-school teacher must teach his bored class about 'Autocracy' (even though he's an anarchist). He decides to demonstrate to the students how easy it is to be manipulated when you belong to a group. Indeed in the course of only one week, he's able to transform his unruly, individualistic and rebellious pupils into a conformist fascist group that will go to any length to protect their newly-found 'community'. Prescient and though-provoking.

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First watch: Kind Hearts and Coronets, the transgressive black comedy about a cynical serial killer who is getting away with his crime. All of his 8 victims were played by Alec Guinness.

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3 re-watches, 2 with Robert De Nero:

🍿 "... Got a smoke?... " John Carpenter’s exhilarating breakthrough low-low budget B-movie Assault on Precinct 13, made on a shoestring. A riff on Rio Bravo and the ultimate urban western.

Were there any other and/or better Directors-Composers (Chaplin probably, but not Clint Eastwood) than Carpenter? The menacing synthesizer score he wrote was the most distinct feature of this banger. And the deserted locations of Watts, California looked exactly the same three decades later in godforsaken shitholes like Colton and San Bernardino. 8/10.

🍿 “Now back to Gene Krupa’s syncopated style shortly…”

Taxi Driver, one of the greatest movies ever made, a seductive manifesto of 'God’s lonely man'. The very best movie of the week, again.

Bernard Herrmann's masterful last film score (completed hours before his death) prompted me 5 years ago to compose a thread on Metafilter about the best movie scores. It included such evergreens as Chinatown soundtrack, Miles Davis for Louis Malle's 1958 Ascenseur pour l'échafaud, Morricone's Cinema Paradiso, Trent Reznor for The Social Network, Ryuichi Sakamoto's Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, Hans Zimmer's You're so cool from True Romance, and so many others.

🍿 There are only 3 Tarantino movies I care for, 'True Romance' (his best IMO), 'Pulp Fiction' (A masterpiece!) and Jackie Brown. A terrific attraction-romance between two adult leads, and with De Nero cast against type as a clumsy, inarticulate loser. Like he resurrected Travolta's career with 'Pulp Fiction', here he gave both Pam Grier and Robert Forster a second Hollywood chance. Also 'Uncle Jack' from Breaking Bad'. 8/10.

It's only surprising he didn't give writer Elmore Leonard a cameo in it.

🍿

The Town, another South Boston gangster thriller (A-la 'The Departed' and 'Eddie Coyle', and 'Mystic River' and so many others) about a bank robber who falls in love with a bank teller after taking her hostage during a daring robbery. It's predictable, and you know exactly how it will end, just not sure about the twists along the way. But it's done nearly as well as Michael Mann's 'Heat', and Rebecca Hall is lovely in her role. 8/10.

🍿

2 musical shorts:

🍿 A short YouTube gem, Bach Adagio BWV 974, maybe Russian, about a garbageman who find a discarded piano. Unexplainable. 10/10.

🍿 Takrai (Repetition) is a mesmerizing experimental short about geometrical patterns of Islamic, Ottoman, Greek, and Byzantine architecture. It was made by Syrian-German filmmaker Waref Abu-Quba

🍿

“You can’t wake up if you don’t fall asleep…”

Asteroid city, the latest Wes Anderson world-building show-piece. Artistic, theatrical, quirky and super-stylized, it reminds me a bit of Roy Andersson's artificial universe (and in this particular movie, it's even closer to Tim Burton's 'Mars attacks'), but without the aching heart behind it. There were a few moments of genuine visual emotions (the green space ship with its long 'Salad Fingers' alien, the sudden Howdly-Dee happy dance, the prancing roadrunner over the end credits). 7/10.

🍿

"No story, and no plot!"

The Bell Boy, my first (?) by and with man-child Jerry Lewis. A series of unfunny gags, pointless pratfalls and him mugging to the camera. Absolutely not like Monsieur Hulot, or Chaplin's 'Tramp', even though it aspired to replicate them. 1/10.

🍿

2 by Australian Robert Luketic:

🍿 Titsiana Booberini was a quirky Australian short (12 min.) about a check-out supermarket girl who has a little mustache. It's kind of a comedy with some musical numbers thrown in. I didn't get it, but apparently its international success gave its director the opportunity to direct his first feature:

🍿 Legally blond, an empowering feminist chick flick, similar to 'Clueless', about a seemingly ditzy teen, who's hiding her smarts behind a pretty 'dumb blond' facade. Reese Witherspoon was great in it. 3/10.

🍿

“The best way to do well in the United States is to be born rich”

[Not a movie, but] "Welcome to my [Robert Reich's] final UC Berkeley course on Wealth and Poverty. [YT playlist, 14 lectures, ~1h30m each] Drawing on my 40+ years in politics, including my time as secretary of labor, I offer a deeper look at why inequalities of income and wealth have widened significantly since the late 1970s in the United States, and why this poses dangerous risks to our society. Each class page has a link to a syllabus of notes and readings in the "more inside"

🍿  

(My complete movie list is here)

The Blue Sky Maiden (1957)

[bakeryblood]

Family Video Called

Eddie Munson x Male Reader

Fluffy, indulgent short for me and my mutuals who love the movie

Eddie slammed the stack of movies on the counter as Robin stared him down, a bored look on her face as she chewed the same piece of gum she had been for her entire six hour shift. “Sorry Munson. Can’t do it.”

“Oh no, that’s bullshit. I paid my fee for the last broken one— AND a new VCR because I’ll have you know my machine didn’t just eat the tape it died because of it. So really I should be holding you two accountable.” He pointed to Steve and his partner in crime who tossed his hand up as if telling him to get the hell out of the store before turning back to the blonde he was chatting up.

“As funny of a story as that is, Family Video and all its employees cannot be held accountable for any and all VCR indigestion incidents.” She popped her gum before continuing. “The reason I cannot rent you these is because you have had our only copy of labyrinth checked out for the past..four weeks.” She pointed to her monitor and Eddie practically leapt over the counter to get a look before simply walking around and reading for himself.

“Hey, hey! No customers behind the counter!” Steve shouted at him and garnered himself a middle finger as Munson repeatedly checked the name, address and sure enough the date of check out. Robin shoved him out of the way and waved up the next person waiting in line.

“Outstanding balance Eddie, there’s a lot of other people who’s eyes are starving, hungry, to get a glimpse of David Bowie in that silver bodysuit— $2.75 please.”

“I didn’t fuckin’ rent that Robin! Shouldn’t you know that, you two are here literally every day!” He pulled on his jacket in frustration before taking one last longing look at the stack of tapes sitting where he left them.

“I don’t even remember the last time I ate, Munson. Please just..” Robin looked up from the register to see the young man with the fluffy hair had taken his leave before she even had a chance to order him out, the glass front door slowly falling shut on its own indicating some had just very quickly exited.

Slamming the door of his van perhaps a bit too hard he gave it a momentary look as if waiting for it to fall off it’s hinges onto the ground before heading inside his trailer. He wasn’t mad that you had found something to do while he was at school in between your shifts at work now that his uncle was working days.

It had starting to weird him out when he’d come home and you would be listening to oldies and cleaning like it was your favorite or should he say, only, hobby. While his uncle sat in his favorite chair drinking a freshly brewed cup of coffee. He’d have to pull you into his room before Wayne could start in on him about how ‘THIS is how you make a good cup of coffee’, to explain that you didn’t need to clean while you were there. You didn’t need to make his uncle coffee. You were helping out on the bills, your time off should be spent relaxing.

He was mad at the past due amount. It was a quarter a day with a three dollar late fee, math wasn’t Eddie’s strong suit but the computer didn’t lie. $28 for a movie he’d never even seen and frankly, didn’t want to for that price.

“Honey! I’m fuckin’ home!” He yelled through the trailer as unfamiliar upbeat music played as loudly as possible. He stomped towards his room where the sound was coming from and stood in the doorway, watching on as you bounced around the room dancing. He pressed himself against the wall as much as he could, holding his hair out of his face so he could continue to spy on you.

You spun and twirled, bouncing from foot to foot as you sang along with David Bowie for what had to be the 40th time since renting the movie. You hopped onto the bed and jumped up and down, turning around as you did until you opened your eyes finally catching your long haired boyfriend in the act. Except you didn’t immediately realize it was him in and the scream you let out made him more scared than you were. Grabbing his chest he came into the room and pointed at you. “Turn it off, now.”

You rushed off the bed and stood defiantly in front of the Tv and vcr, arms out stretched. “No!”

“Y/N! Four weeks? You had this for four weeks and never even told me?” He came towards you and you puffed out your chest as if that was going to do anything to Intimidate or deter him from getting that movie out of his house.

“No Eddie, please! Just one more time! I’ll pay the late fee!” He looked at you dumbfounded before wrapping his arms around you and readying himself to deadlift you if that’s what it took.

“You’re damn right you’re paying the late fee, I had to pull out the couch, looking in my uncles car and under the van seats to get the money to rent those movies.” He jingled the change in his jacket pocket after setting you down a foot away, that was the full extent of effort he was willing to put in.

“Just watch it with me one time, please? Then we can watch whatever you want and I’ll pay for those too..” Y/N pouted and moved to sit on the bed as Eddie stalled, thinking it over. Which his boyfriend noticed.

“Pretty good deal, huh?” Y/N perched up on his knees excitedly as Eddie turned back to him slowly. “It has goblins, faeries..things you love Eddie..” Consider him swayed. He walked around to the side and kicked his shoes off before climbing into the bed, expecting you to claim your spot next to him. But you stayed where you were.

As the movie progressed he slowly moved up to where you were, occasionally asking questions that pertained to plot he missed out on by bursting in a fourth of the way through.

“So she’s trying to get her baby brother back.”

“Yes.”

“Because David Bowie—“

“Jareth.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at you correcting him on that for what had to be at least the third time. “—Jareth, steals babies.”

You wiggled your hand as if to say he was half right before giving him a run down of how Sara offered him up because she was upset with her parents. “Doesn’t the baby taking seem a little..off to you?”

“How else is he supposed to fill a city with goblins?”

“There’s a whole fuckin’ city of those things?” Eddie had to admit, though maybe not out loud, that it was a very good movie. The creatures were very well made and he was finding himself becoming more and more enthralled with the idea of incorporating some of the character concepts into a campaign and seeing if he could get away with doing so.

“Plus he’s pretty hot in this don’t you think?” Okay. Fun is over. Eddie pushed himself off the bed and stretched in front of the Tv just as David Bowie had begun the ballroom dance sequence. “Eddie— Eddie move!” Your eyebrows raised up in an upset manner as he huffed and sat back down making the bed bounce.

“No, I don’t think he’s hot.” You quickly turned your face towards him shocked. You couldn’t believe it for a moment until you realized it, he was actually mad. Well, not mad.

“Oh my god Ed, you’re jealous!” He grinned at you and shook his head vehemently denying the accusation. “Don’t lie!”

“Yeah right Y/N, Aren’t we all jealous of David Bowie?” He replied dismissively.

“I can’t speak for everyone but you sure are.” You went back to watching with an even larger grin than you had previously held as Eddie brooded. He was jealous. But not because of his looks, he was jealous because of how you were dancing and singing. It was something you only ever did when you drank, always claiming to be too embarrassed to do it for him or with him so more often than not he’d take advantage of the situation and goofily dance with you if the two of you happened to drink together.

And here you were bullying him. “Why, think I should bleach my hair?” Y/N almost choked on their laughter as the image of him with platinum blonde hair flooded his thoughts in true ‘Poison’ fashion. Eddie slung his arm around the front of of them and took them down onto the bed.

“I could start wearing eyeliner more, is that what it would take for you to dance with me?” Y/N ceased his laughter and looked up at Eddie’s surprisingly serious face as his hair curtained around either of their faces.

“That’s what you’re hung up on? I just don’t—“

“You just don’t dance or sing because you think you’re ‘bad’ at it. Yeah, I know. But I saw you earlier, you sing really good..” Y/N struggles to lean up as his boyfriend still had him pinned, pecking him on the cheek. “As good as David Bowie?”

Eddie’s lips flat lined as he tried to think of the appropriate answer given how big of a Bowie fan you were. Insinuating that you could show him up might not be the way to go. Thankfully he didn’t have to as you finally rolled the two of you over. “Maybe just a blonde streak..” you teased and Eddie shook his head.

“Nope, all or nothing. I’m sure the kids would have a field day doing it for me.” Y/N began laughing again as he imagined them each going at a section of his unruly hair with handfuls of bleach mix.

“You’re hotter than David Bowie, okay?” Eddie popped up before attacking you with his hands.

“You just can’t stop lyin’ huh!” He tickled you and you squirmed, shouting out apologies as he went in on you relentlessly.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!!”

________________________________________

The light in the room was dim as flames from the candles strategically placed around swayed and flickered.

“As your group trekked the final mile to the outside wall of the great maze, the light woods begin to thin out. A long empty killing field dotted with crudely hacked stumps, stones, dust, the odd arrow, and a pile of bones is before you. Your horses whinny nervously and paw the ground near the forests edge unwilling to go further.” Eddie looks up from his notes, up over his dungeon master screen as he scans the groups expressions before continuing. “The battlements seem unmanned, and the killing field silent and uninviting, looking past them at the tall walls wrapping around there doesn’t seem to be a visible entrance, gate or otherwise.

What do you do?”

“We should have left the horses a mile back, there’s obviously something going on here and they’re just going to slow us down..” Lucas complained before Erica chimed in but not before giving her brother a annoyed look.

“Is there anything between us and the walls aside from the random garbage about on the killing field..” She rolled for perception and got a nine.

“A bridge lay out at half way, no moat nor water beneath it. You look up and down the ancient cracked stone masonry, moss happily flourished despite the lack of moisture in the air or ground.”

Erica held a smug expression as she looked over the rest of the party, still seemingly confused. “I go ahead of the others and cross the bridge.”

Lucas protested against this idea claiming that this is clearly a trap and this early on they cannot afford to lose their only Rouge.

“Lady Applejack crosses the bridge despite Sundars’ pleas for her to reconsider, his calls for her seeming to fade away as a thick mist forms, clouding her field of vision. She is no longer in the killing fields and her party is long gone. She is in a swamp where aged and crooked trees with branches that seemed to be reaching for her grew scattered, narrowly avoiding the brackish green water.”

“Uh, Lady Applejack is going to turn her ass around and go back for the others..”

“Alright hold the hell up—“ Gareth stands up from his spot at the long table and advances on Eddie who quickly covered his DM notes as best as he could. “Is this a fucking Labyrinth based campaign plot?”

“Hey! Let’s try to not break the Immersion you ass, I also have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Dustin laughed before standing up and pointing at his older friend. “Ah ha! I knew you were a liar but know I really caught you! You think Steve didn’t tell me about how you held that movie hostage basically?”

“The Labyrinth? Like with David Bowie?” Erica questioned, Lucas looking more confused than she was. Tiger Beat kept her pretty up to date on the androgynous man’s whereabouts.

“Alright, cut! This is not based on the movie this is all out of my own goddamn head—“

Eddie slammed his hands on the table before raising one finger up to tap it against his skull. “Got it? I didn’t spend hours working on this for you to start heckling me.”

Dustin and Gareth return to their seated positions and the younger boy leaned over and whispered to the other. “This is totally Labyrinth based..”

“Totally, never letting him live this down..”

[sarcastically-defensive17]

Got you - D.W

I will never recover from what they did to Bobby. That man is my light, okay? I need a supportive angry uncle that will save my ass whenever I need it like Bobby would for everyone.

Content warning: death of loved one, mention of past abuse and death of a parent, spoilers for season 7 of Supernatural (pls don’t read if you haven’t watched), angst, sadness, crying, deans beautiful eyes filled with tears, love, fluff that makes me sick (it’s so cringe but I couldn’t think of how else to end it and this has been in my drafts since JUNE)

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17. I do not give permission bc or my work to be reposted or translated by anybody. I do not own the characters mentioned in this story; apart from the Y/N character. This individual storyline is canon-divergent, meaning that I only own some of it. The rest is from the mind of the Kripke. Don’t steal my work, my dudes (gender neutral). That’s a douche thing to do.

Of all the people Y/N had met, all of the hunters, the sociopaths, the monsters; Y/N had never met somebody so reluctant to discuss their feelings as Dean was. At present, his reluctance was understandable.

Bobby Singer had passed a few weeks ago.

He had raised Y/N from the age of 15 onwards. Back when she was rampant and would take off for weeks on end to hunt without getting permission from Bobby. As such, she hadn’t met Dean and Sam Winchester until a few months before the younger brother had taken off for college. Her and Dean became fast friends through Sam’s absence, the former not knowing the younger boy enough to miss his presence and the latter going out of his mind in worry and grief for the missing relationship.

Not many could get Dean to open up, including Y/N, but she stuck by him through his fathers disappearance and the fight with Yellow Eyes. She fell out of his life for a while again, but he had Sam, but she reappeared when Dean called her crying because his brother was back from hell sans soul.

She had stuck by through Castiel - Dean’s pet angel - taking the mantel of god and the rise of the Leviathans.

She hadn’t once felt like she wasn’t wanted, not until she held her Father’s hand while he took his final breath and simultaneously watched the elder winchester brother retreat in on himself in favour of an unrelenting vengeance issued towards Dick Roman.

Since Bobby had passed, Dean had become cold. Lifeless. Angry.

Sam had spoken to Y/N, had discussed the passing of their foster-father and the hole it tore from their lives. They had cried together, mourned together and while neither of them were close to dealing with the grief, they managed.

Dean on the other hand, was a nightmare.

Sam had taken off on a hunt of his own, leaving Y/N and Dean in Rufus’ cabin.

Dean was calling Frank for the hundredth time that day and Y/N was searching the papers and online news sites for hunts. Sitting around and waiting for Dick to do something to lead them to killing him wasn’t good enough for her. Her grief was overwhelming and she needed to clear her mind - she needed to put a monster down.

She had lifted her head up from the computer, watching as Dean sat, staring, unmoving at the wall. His forest green eyes were locked onto a picture of Dick Roman, and she could see the hard clench in his jaw.

“Hey, Dean?” She called, voice hopeful. She had stood from her chair and started walking towards him with the computer in hand.

He simply grunted in acknowledgement, not looking away. He just kept drinking from the bottle of beer he had just opened.

She cocked a brow, setting her own jaw. He had hardly spoken to her since Bobby died. She had been wracking her brain to figure out why, especially since he had been speaking to Sam normally but avoiding her.

“Uh, there’s a vamp nest out near Wyoming. Going through people like they’re going out of style. Wanna go check it out?” She held the computer out to him. He gazed at it for barely a second, rolled his eyes and downed more of his beer.

“I don’t know if you can tell but, I’m kinda busy.” He held his arms out and gestured to the detective style wall. The now empty beer bottle was slammed into the coffee table.

“Doing what? Drinking the entire supply of alcohol in America?” She quipped but her face remained deadpan. The look in his eyes was often enough to make any normal person cower, but not Y/N. Her rebellious streak didn’t end when she hit adulthood.

He snarled, green eyes scrunched, “Funny. It may be news to you but I’m trying to find a way to put down the guy who killed Bobby.” He stomped over to the fridge in search of another beverage. Y/N withheld the toll of her eyes but did little to contain her heavy sigh. He snatched his phone from the small table in the dining area, punching in a number in the same aggressive manner he had done at least 10 times a day for the past few weeks. “Frank, it’s Dean Winchester. Give me a call if you’ve found anything.”

“You know, he might have a better chance of finding something if you stop hounding him every few seconds!” She smiled, a sickly sweet gesture that they both knew was laced with malice. “I’m going on this hunt. Are you going to keep living in stick around here like you’re Paul Sheldon, or are you going to come with me?” She growled through the smile. “Sitting here, staring at a wall isn’t going to help you figure out how to kill that bastard any faster.”

He mumbled expletives under his breath, twisting the top off of another beer and left the room. He returned moments later with a new flannel, his bag and the flask she had given Bobby for the first Father’s Day she spent with him. The mere sight of the object brought tears to her eyes but luckily Dean spared little attention to her shift in demeanor. He refused to give the flask to her, shutting her down every time she tried to explain the significance.

She was left to instead bury her pain while Dean reminded her that she wouldn’t feel as much as he did. In reality, he knew very little of her relationship with Bobby.

“You getting your ass in the car or what?” He called, already outside. She had barely noticed his movements but trailed after him quickly. A hunt was what she needed. She needed to get her mind off of her deceased father and cutting the heads off of vampires is the best distraction she could find at the present time.

~~~~~

Her hand stilled above his wound just before she left the liquor flow onto the gash. “You want something for the pain before I get started?”

The hunt had started well. Dean had instructed her to stay behind him, allowing him to take the lead with his beat up machete and prepubescent-esque mood swings.

She thought differently, having specialized in vamp slayings for the better part of her hunter career; after all, her real father was murdered by one of the blood suckers, so her vendetta was rarely satiated.

She took the lead, heading in a different direction to what Dean instructed, knowing it was a more sure route to take out the leader of the nest. There were always hidden pathways in the nests; and those pathways lead straight to where the baddest vamp of the squad was generally sucking down a double serving of human.

Somewhere along the lines, Dean had his own machete turned on him and took a deep gash to his right shoulder. Y/N made quick work of the vamps she encountered, using her specified skills to kill them as she had been taught. It was generally easy for her, but Dean had taken a few blows and required rescuing.

She had to leave a few vamps to wallow in their own injuries while she dragged Dean out of the nest and to the nearest hotel, leading to the situation they found themself in now - Y/N patching Dean up and Dean acting like the entitled prat he had been for a while.

Her previous question was answered with a grunt, dean turning his head away from her. Her patience had worn thin.

Placing a hand on his bare chest, she lifted herself up slightly and poured the contents of the bottle onto the top of Dean’s head. It trickled down his face and chest, leaving a sticky feeling in its wake and bringing a hissed curse from his lips when it flooded the wound on his right shoulder.

“What the hell, Y/N?” He grunted. He was on his feet, using his shirt to wipe away the alcohol from the deep wound to quell the burning.

She threw the bottle onto the couch beside him, raising to her feet and grabbing a cloth to wipe at her hands. “If you want to act like a tough guy then you can drive your ass back to the cabin and get Sam to patch you up.” Her voice was horribly calm, her eyes falling anywhere but on him. “I’ve had about enough of you, Dean.”

“What are you talking about?” He growled. His temper was explosive from the get-go, but hers would build. When she snapped, she snapped good and proper. “I don’t need something for the damn pain! I’ve been doing this my whole life. What is your problem lately?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know damn well,” she growled back at him, turning away from him with a shake of the head. “You have been an absolute dick since Bobby passed. I get it - we are all hurting, but the way you are acting? I’m sick of-“

He was on his feet, amber liquid still trailing down his face and chest. “You have no damn idea how I feel Y/N!” His voice was louder than she expected but she wouldn’t let it force her down. “Bobby was like a father to me! He was always there for me when my dad was on a hunt and he treated me like I was his own! You have no right to talk to me like that-“

He was cut off by a sharp jab to the cheek. Y/N had about enough of his bitching. It was damn time that he shut his trap and listened.

“What the-“

“For the past few weeks I have been listening to you go on and on, constantly telling me that I meant nothing to Bobby and I wouldn’t have the damn connection you had with him.” She spoke through gritted teeth, her knuckles beginning to throb as Dean held his jaw. “You’re a selfish dick. You don’t care about anybody but your damn self and that’s plain and simple.” She began to pace. Her anger had hit its boiling point, red no longer lining her vision but the grief fueling her anger and disgust in Dean. “I had lived with Bobby since I was a kid - 15. He took me in because I had nobody, Dean. My father died when I was young; throat ripped out by a vamp. My mother wasn’t a mother. She used me as bait every chance she got to get revenge on every and all vampires on this god forsaken planet. Bobby was all I fricking had!”

Dean watched as Y/N stopped pacing. She had turned to him now, her voice loud as she screamed the words at him.

She released a humorless laugh, “I get that Bobby was a big part of your life, but for god sakes, he didn’t belong to just you and Sam!”

Her hands had tangled in her hair as she spoke, the remnants of alcohol and blood making the strands stick together. She was fighting back tears. For the first time since it happened, reality set in.

Bobby was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. Once again, she had nobody.

Dean was at a loss for words. He didn’t remember seeing Y/N around Bobby’s house when they were younger, but Y/N was closer to Sam’s age than she is to his. It was as if a wave of guilt crashed down upon him. He had no idea that she had been so close to Bobby.

“He meant so much to everybody - to me,” she sniffed, hard. “He’s all I have.”

Dean felt his digits twitch with a need to hold her. He had always felt an invisible pull towards the woman, their personalities fitting together like jagged jigsaw pieces, but he had never allowed her the deepest thought to consider her life and her history - her connection to his father figure. Unlike Y/N, his father had been in his life, despite his faults. Y/N had nobody until she had Bobby.

Her heart was heavy, and she could feel the metaphorical weight pushing her chest cavity in. For the first time since he passed, the dam broke. Tears began to fall one at a time, but the rapids took over, forcing the salty liquid to flood her cheeks and stutter her breathing. She had never experienced such intense grief.

The sensations overwhelmed her. But Dean felt his self-control leave his body. His arms moved on their own accord, making the decision to forgo permission to hug the woman and instead he connected his body with hers. He held her as she fell to her knees, cradling her body in his and tucking her head underneath his chin.

“He’s gone… he’s gone,” her voice was thick with grief, her muttering striking his heart once again.

“It’s okay, princess.” He felt the tears prick back at his own eyes, pulling her back slightly so he could look at her face. She cradled her face in her hands, putting up little resistance when he took her hands in his own and pulled them away. “It’s okay, you’re not alone.”

Her brows furrowed, the typical fire hidden behind her stare, just lacking the normal intensity. “Who else do I have, Dean? Bobby was my only family, everybody else was just a an extension of their love for him. He was all I had.”

His fingers dropped her own, green eyes staring into her own with such an intense emotion that she seemed to recoil under his gaze, but the fire still burned in her own eyes. His hands rested on the sides of her face, thumbs rubbing the tears from her skin.

“Don’t, for one second, think that you are alone. You- you’ve got me, okay?” More tears fell from her eyes, and his own followed suit. “I am never leaving you, princess.”

“You have no reason to stick around with me, dean.”

“Why wouldn’t-“

“You have your own life!” She asserted, nose crinkled in his grip. “You have Sam and leviathans to kill, and things that are more important-“

“I’m not leaving you, because I love you, Y/N!” His voice was powerful, his brows pinched and his eyes heavy. A normal person would experience some level of fear in this situation, but Y/N wasn’t normal people. Dean had never felt more at home than when he was staring into her eyes, and he took a moment to register his confession and the way her features seemed to melt at his words.

Despite his malice in recent days, Dean had never raised his voice at her in such a way. His eyes had never glazed over with sheer defiance, halting the protests on her tongue instantly. Nevertheless, in any other circumstance, she would have raised her voice louder. She was not one to be meek: Bobby raised her better than that. But the hurt that saturated his tone seemed to settle on her heart a little heavier than before.

This was different to the argument that they had moments before. This was assertive. The anger seemed to dissipate with his words. The chill running down her spine one of satisfaction, fear, and something else.

She didn’t trust her voice to respond, her face still clasped in his larger palms. When she tried to speak, a noise of confusion tumbled from her lips, and Dean’s seemed to shy away from her gaze. His hands slowly slipped away and he sat back on his haunches.

“I don’t think you know just how much you mean to us, Y/N - to me.” He cleared his throat, eyes focused anywhere but on her. She caught sight of his teeth nibbling on his lower lip, something she rarely saw from him. He was always able to maintain a calm demeanor. “There’s always been this… this feeling. For a long time, I thought I just admired you - you were the annoying sister that I never had. But over time… I’ve never properly been in love before. Lisa, Cassie, they were never like this.”

“Dean-“ she tried, the words on the tip of her tongue, but he continued.

“When Sam went to college, Dad’s disappearance, Sam without a soul, hell, even when I had that douchebag angel fighting me for my meatsuit, you were always there for me. With your beautiful smile, and the crap you gave me… you became more than that friend that I could lean on.” Her hand reached across the gap between them, resting on his clammy palm. He took the gesture as a sign to look up at her, dragging his heavy eyes from the stained floor to meet her own. There was no anger, or rejection hidden there. “You became the one that I wanted to see every night. The one that I could see standing behind the white picket fence.”

He watched as another tear fell from her glassy eyes, and his heart wrenched at the sight. He feared that his words had brought more pain to her, but then she moved towards him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, careful to avoid the gash on his shoulder. Her forehead buried itself in the crook of his neck, and her legs moved to rest on either side of his own.

The sudden touch caused a little shock, but he quickly recovered and secured his arms around her body. He let his fingers grasp on to her shirt, almost as if he were afraid that she would pull away from him and leave his life.

“I can’t lose you, Y/N,” he whispered, tightening his hold slightly, only to emphasize his words.

Her head lifted from his shoulder, and she allowed her hands to dance along his arms, up until they held his face in the same way he held her before.

Before he could raise an eyebrow, her lips were pressed against his. Their tears seemed to meet together at the union of their flesh as their eyes fluttered shut.

When they parted his forehead fell forward to rest against her own. His eyes remained closed, his eyelashes sticking together from his tears.

“You’re my best friend,” she whispered to him. Her voice wet with emotion. “I love you so much, Dean, and I’ve loved you for years.”

A soft chuckle left him, shaking his shoulder slightly and bounding Y/N. It was one of disbelief, but a sense of relief was hidden beneath the thick sound.

She smacked at his uninjured shoulder softly, tutting at him. “Don’t laugh! It’s true! Bobby was pushing me to make a move from the minute you walked through the door with a blueberry pie on my birthday.” The incident was a fond memory. Dean had rushed to get back from a hunt so he could see her on her birthday. He walked in the door with mere minutes to spare before midnight and forced her to blow out a candle before her birthday officially ended.

She decided that day, that if she was going down, she wanted to do it by Dean’s side.

He pressed a soft peck to her lips once again, almost afraid that if he pressed too hard then the image of her would fade from his sight. But she wouldn’t.

“I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ve got you.” He opened his eyes once again, pulling back to get a look at her whole face. He decided then that the image would be burned into his brain for the rest of his days. “I love you, Y/N.”

Her smile sent a shudder to his heart, the organ pounding faster than he thought possible.

“Ive got you too, Dean. Always.” The chill returned to her back, almost as if someone were watching them, but she paid it no mind. She had something more important in front of her than a nosy ghost, but somehow, she knew that it was more than a simple ghost. “I love you, Winchester.”

Her suspicions were confirmed when they found words scrawled into the morning dew that found a home on the windscreen of Baby.

‘Take care of each other, B.’

[january31st]

Grief (Venable x reader)

Summary: Your grandma died and Ms.Venable shows sympathy for once

A/N: my grandma actually died and I need comforting so guess that’s what this is. I suck at titles, guess we’ll have to live with this until I hear some lyrics that fit. Also first fic for any fandom in many many many years oop. This has been in the making for a few weeks now, I just forced myself to finally publish.

Those notes were a mess, is someone rambly?

Warnings: Grandparent death (obv), mommy/ daddy issues, mentions of homophobia

Masterlist

~2100 words

At the end of the work day you summoned all your courage to tell your boss you wouldn’t be coming into work for the next few days. After a year or so of working at Kineros Robotics you had gotten used to Ms.Venable’s harshness, but today you were just completely out of it.

You might not be the most flawless employee but you always put all your effort into your tasks. You also don’t let snarky comments get you down because you always have the right comeback, and when you don’t you still keep your cool, even when it comes to your boss. Of course you don’t snap back at her, you know better, getting fired isn’t really an option, but you know exactly how to react in order for her not to feel disrespected while not quite letting her get to you.

Your colleagues always asked you how you had survived this long as her assistant, and this only made you feel more confident, reminding you that you were able to go through any situation. Around the workplace you were always in a good mood, and despite her meanness you actually enjoyed working for her. She had an amazing work ethic that motivated you to work up to her standards.

You often found yourself admiring her strong demeanour. Before working at the company you tried being like that, but you always ended up being the funny mean person. You both had walls up, but where hers were monochromatic yours were a pretty sunset, people looked at them not even knowing they were walls. That was the way you dealt with most things, using humour as a coping mechanism. Charming people into thinking your brain wasn’t completely rotten and destroying you little by little.

You took one last deep breath before walking down that corridor that led to her desk, and waited at the glass door until she looked up from her computer.

“Yes Miss Y/L/N? I hope that malfunctioning little head of yours didn’t forget what time your shift ends.”

You started playing with the hem of your sleeve, rethinking your next sentence for the thousandth time. “Umm, I just came by to say I won’t be coming into work for the next few days.”

She seemed to have just noticed how uncomfortable you looked, how out of place. She realised she had never seen you act like this before, there was definitely something off.

“You can fill the absence papers then.” She reached for a sheet of paper perfectly organised in her files and set it in front of her on the desk, facing you. “I hope this isn’t some silly thing you just decided was more important than your job. If that is the case you might as well relieve this company from your insufferable presence” she said while grabbing a pen, her actions showing how that last part was just her usual remarks coming out.

Any other day you would have brushed it off, going on with your business, but today those words ripped a hole through your pretty sunset. You opened your mouth looking down at the paper, a tear threatening to come out and your throat closing up.

“My grandmother just died.” you said, angrily grabbing the pen and bending down to fill the thing. “And I’m gonna have to take care of the funeral on my own.”

You kept writing, not really wanting to lift your face or look at her, even though a heavy silence started filling the room.

After a while she said “My condolences Y/N.”

You signed at the bottom and set the pen down, finally looking up. You thanked her and bit the inside of your cheek, cursing yourself for acting weak in front of her.

“When did you get the news? You could have taken today off too.”

You felt your eyebrows lifting, surprised at the empathy you thought didn’t exist. “I got a call from the hospital in the middle of the night. I also contacted the funeral agency this morning, I didn’t know what else to do other than come in to work after that.”

Her face was almost sad. Was it? You didn’t think she could look sad. But that must be what it looks like. You turned around and said “See you next week” before that stubborn tear finally found it’s way down your cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on your door again. You stomped your way out of the living room while shouting “I’m sure there is a place in hell for people like you guys! Insensitive fucks! You and your whole damn company- Oh”

“Is that any way to speak to your boss?” Ms. Venable was standing in your doorway, an almost unnoticeable look of surprise in her eyes.

You sighed and leaned your head on the door “I’m sorry Ms. Venable, I didn’t expect to see you here” Had she really just come to visit you? Did she look through your contract to find your address? You decided that couldn’t be the case since your mind failed at picturing her gloved hands searching for your name.

“One can’t even stop to grieve before these nursing homes come running after your wallet” You added, hoping that would explain your anger.

“I can see that.” She answered. You looked at her, waiting for an explanation for the visit.

"You just left on wednesday.." The grip on her cane grew tighter. "I've never seen you like this." She paused, calculating her next words. "You aren't an awful assistant. At all. And I figured you might want to talk."

You stared at her dumbfounded. You didn't mind her presence in the slightest, you'd never admit it but you did wish you could get to know her better. Still, the last thing you'd expect was for her to come knocking at your door.

"Please come in." You said while stepping aside. You led her to sit in one of the two armchairs you had almost facing each other. “Would you like a drink? Coffee? Tea? Or just water maybe?” You said and took a breath through your very stuffy nose.

“I think we would both do well with some tea.” She was scanning your face and you suddenly became very aware of how bad you probably looked, eyebags dark and deep, nose red and a dull complexion. You also looked over to your table and the mess of files and documents you were sorting through from the funeral.

“Yea I might be coming down with a cold. And please don’t mind the mess” You were getting sick, in fact, probably from all the crying and going out in the sun dressed in all black without a care, but you decided it was better for her to think this was something out of your control.

From her armchair she was still facing the kitchen, and as you set the mugs down and put water in the kettle she asked “When was it?”

“Yesterday morning. I would rather it be today but it would be more expensive on the weekend. The ceremony was very short, it didn’t even feel like a proper way to say goodbye”

Your mind was working slower than your words, you closed your fist when you realised you probably overshared. “Would you like herbal, black or ginger?”

She seemed to stop what she was thinking as you changed the subject, and you couldn’t quite figure out why she was interested in how you were doing.

“Herbal please, that one on the right maybe” You grabbed it and some ginger for yourself and poured the now boiling water over them on each mug.

You came into the living room to set some coasters down and place some honey and sugar on the small table in front of her.

“I don’t want to be stepping over any limits, you don’t have to answer my questions if you don’t want to” You smiled at that.

“No problem.” You said while going back to get the tea.

She waited for you to sit down and sweeten your tea and mirrored your actions. The mug was very hot but you still clutched it in your hands close to your chest.

“How old are you Y/N?” She knew your approximate age but still asked, but before you could answer she added “You’re very young to be dealing with this on your own”

You answered the exact age just to confirm what she said, and you almost missed how out of character that question was, almost as if she cared. But you knew her question actually meant “Where the hell are your parents”. You took a sip from your mug, and before you could decide whether it wasn’t a wise decision, the words were spilling from you.

“She was the one who raised me. My parents were out of the picture for the most part. They finally managed to say I wasn't their kid when I came out. Each of them went different ways and I haven’t heard anything from them. I actually tried reaching out to see if at least my father had the decency to come to his own mom’s funeral, but I wasn’t one bit surprised when his hooker or whatever just told me to fuck off.”

A small voice in your head was screaming for you to shut up, your fucking boss doesn’t care about your mommy/daddy issues, especially a boss like Wilhemina Venable. You had managed to survive for a year working for her based on the quality of your work alone, you prided yourself with keeping most of your sticky things away from your job. By now she might be starting to realize the big mess that you actually are. All the things you tried to fold neatly away down in the depths of your soul over and over again, it was like there was a child-like demon throwing everything up in the air despite your efforts.

The big issue was that the rest of you just wanted to reach out and make this woman care about you. The thought of giving in was always there, just never this strong, but it had to be her. Out of all the people you could have hoped to hold you in their arms right now, your brain wanted her to.

"Was she accepting?" She interrupted your thoughts, and after the look you gave her she added "Of you coming out I mean"

"Um… She didn't know. I never had the courage to tell her" You took another sip to help with the raspiness in your voice "She was already too sick by the time I figured things out"

You stared at her shoes, tears stinging your eyes. You always thought you weren’t much of a crier, you always managed to stop yourself, but since wednesday someone decided that this dry faucet should pour, and so it did. Every time you thought it had ended, it just started all over again, and it was about to start in front of her.

“She was all I had left.” You cried not only because it hurt, but also because you said it out loud.

“I’m not sure I know the right thing to say right now” She said quietly. If you watched this moment back you would have dropped your jaw at the softness in her expression. For the first time since you knew her, she didn’t have her weapons ready to use, ready to hurt and destroy. You also missed the implications of her asking specifically about the coming out part. But you were so out of it that your sight escaped you. You stared without seeing.

“You don’t have to say anything” You heard yourself answering.

The both of you stood in silence for a long while. Her mere existence in your living room was soothing in a weird way. You didn’t want her pity, but you knew that wasn’t why she was here. Even if she was here just to make sure her assistant was still alive and hadn’t become useless to her, that was a thousand times better than thinking she pitied you.

She didn’t talk about any of her relatives dying like a lot of people did when trying to comfort you. You appreciated their effort but it didn’t make you feel better at all. People die, everyone has to deal with it at some point, but knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Despite how out of place this visit felt, you enjoyed every second of her presence.

She got up and took her mug to the kitchen, and you got up before she came back.

"I'm sorry for just blabbering"

She stopped in front of you and ghosted her hand on your forearm "You didn't blabber." She lowered her hand to take yours, squeezing it lightly.

"I'm sorry for not having the right words."

You shook your head with a smile, and almost in a whisper you said "Thank you for coming"

[buckyskorpion]

Do Something Bad, Too - Part 5

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: It’s like every single Alpha on the planet won’t rest until they’ve confessed their eternal wish for you to mother their children, and it’s getting old. Luckily, that’s a problem Bucky might be able to fix.

Warnings: language, a/b/o dynamics, mentions of violence

A/N: sooooo..... lets not mention the last time i updated this fic was four years, and get excited that im finally updating!! woo!! i really hope this was worth the wait, im very anxious about letting you guys down. let me know what you honestly think! love u all, thank u for sticking with me

series masterlist | main masterlist | my ko-fi

You stay in Nat’s apartment in the Tower for the rest of your heat, which lasts an entire week. Nat comes and goes throughout that time to make sure you’re drinking enough water, to make you dinner or run you a bath, or sometimes just to keep you company when you’re capable of that. She doesn’t stay long, though, aware her presence just makes the unbearableness of going through heat even worse. She also doesn’t mention Bucky’s clothes or anything about that first day, which you’re immeasurably grateful for. You don’t think you could talk about it without crying.

To say you’re humiliated is an understatement. Mixed with that is all this guilt and shame and self-hatred for inflicting that situation on you and Bucky. Mostly for Bucky. He had made it so very clear he was only comfortable helping you with the scent thing, and even with that there were boundaries. You had blown through them all by showing up to his apartment, triggering both your instincts to do things you couldn’t control, and now he probably resented you enough to never want to see you again.

You don’t blame him. It doesn’t stop it from hurting so much, though.

You’ve well and truly fucked yourself now. Not only is it omega instincts driving you towards Bucky now, but also your own stupid, naive heart. You miss his giant hands and broad shoulders that block out the world for a second, narrowing your scope to just the two of you. You miss the way you can breathe around him, how the world doesn’t feel so scary and foreign to you when he’s by your side. It’s crazy because you weren’t even close, you weren’t even really friends, but now you never will be because you’re so goddamn stupid it’s actually astounding.

Nat’s plan had not worked. And this time, you couldn’t even blame her for this colossal backfire. This is all your handiwork.

You’re back in your office, returning to work once your fever died down and you could stand to be in the vicinity of other alphas without passing out. Maybe you’re tapping rather aggressively on your keyboard, and maybe all the techies on the floor can hear you sigh and groan in frustration every two seconds and are sending you strange looks through the glass. Whatever, you’re their boss, they can’t say anything. Besides, your boss has requested some rather strange security upgrades and you’re not sure if it’s within your job description to email Tony Stark and say what the fuck?

It turns out you don’t have to, because Tony Stark comes to you. It’s not often he takes part in the day to day workings of Stark Industries - that’s your job, after all. But he comes striding into your office eating an apple and wearing sunglasses during the middle of the day, and points a ringed finger at you.

“You’re back,” he says, and you find yourself glancing down at your baby-blue pantsuit just to make sure you are, in fact, back. Stark takes a very pointed breath through his nose and adds, “You smell terrible. This is great!”

“Great?” You can’t help but sound bitter. Your smell is hardly great to you. Even after sweating out your entire body-weight and taking more showers than is considered healthy, you still smell like Bucky. You can’t escape him - not your thoughts, not your heart, and certainly not the way your skin seems to emanate him like he’s crawled underneath and set up shop. It’s embarrassing and humiliating, because it’s not real, and just serves to remind you of the terrible mistake you’ve made. You hope beyond hope Stark doesn’t recognise the other alpha scent clinging to your pores.

“Yes, great. I need your help,” he says, sitting down in a chair opposite your desk. You glance at the specs you have open on your computer, the strange security upgrades he wants you to make to the Tower, and then back to Stark’s million-dollar smile. It’s unsettling. You feel a headache forming before he even opens his mouth.

“If this has anything to do with these emails-“

“Those can wait,” Stark says, waving a dismissive hand at your computer. He lobs his applecore into the bin beside your desk as if to punctuate his point, then says, “This is a request on behalf of the Avengers.”

“Um,” you say, rather eloquently. Avengers? What on earth could they want with you, unless- you groan, rolling your eyes to the ceiling. “Natasha.”

“She highly recommended your expertise,” Stark says, and that headache brewing in your temples blooms into a full-blown migraine. He stands, smooths out his slacks, and says without room for question, “Follow me.”

This is how you end up back in the residential floors of the Tower, much to your chagrin, which Stark seems to pick up on. The closer you get to Bucky’s floor the more fidgety you become, heart racing and skin turning clammy until you watch the numbers fly by and you leave him somewhere in the clouds above Manhattan. The elevator doors ding open to a floor that seems to go on forever, full of gym equipment and fancy simulation tech you figure the Avengers must use to train. You find Natasha’s red head on the sparring mats, tackling someone to the ground with her thighs, and glare daggers as you follow Stark into the room.

“She’s alive!” Natasha calls across the room, ignoring your death glare for a knowing smirk. Her voice echoes through the warehouse-style gym floor, drawing the attention of the others in the room. The Avengers, and all of a sudden you feel like an eighteen year old kid watching aliens attack New York on a grainy satellite TV in the desert again. This is like meeting celebrities on another level. Steve Rogers finishes wrapping his hands as he walks over to you and Stark, Sam Wilson beside him, and Natasha gives Clint Barton a hand to help him up from the mats.

“What have you roped me into now, Nat?” you ask, not bothering to hide your frustration. You’ve just about had it with her meddling, but you should’ve known it was a pipe dream to think she would stop.

“We know you’re very busy, we won’t take up much of your time,” Steve Rogers says, extending a hand and introducing himself like he needs to. Captain America needs no introduction.

“I know who you all are,” you say, giving them a nod. “And you’re right, I am busy. So why am I here?”

“You and Nat must get along like a house on fire,” Clint says, earning him an elbow in the gut from Nat herself. You grin, all sharp in the way Nat tells you looks scary in a hot way, and watch as he subtly shifts behind Nat as if to hide behind her smaller frame. It’s only then that you register the scents mingling between them, and realise that Clint Barton is Nat’s omega. She grins at you, beatific and serene, as if she can read your thoughts and knows exactly what you’ve just figured out.

“Let’s not hold (Y/n) up any longer,” Nat says, grinning in a way that always spells trouble for you. “She’s a woman in high demand.”

Stark leads them to what seems to be a large empty space in the training facility, but it’s soon filled with hologram projections from a tiny Starkpad he pulls from his pocket. You fall into step beside Nat, using your height advantage to glare down at her and convey the level to which you want to strangle her right now. She just loops her arm with yours and kisses you on the cheek, frustrating your attempts at intimidation before you can even begin. Bloody Russian spies, you grumble to yourself as you come a halt in front of the holograms.

You’re looking at building specs, that much is obvious. Why, though, is entirely lost on you. The structure is a tall hexagonal building reminding you of a panopticon, with security floors in the centre and what seem to be prison cells surrounding them. Details jump out from Stark’s hologram - security cameras, miniature guards patrolling the floors, thermally sealed doors and electromagnetic force-fields on the cells. It’s a prison, you surmise, and you’re starting to get a bad feeling as to why you’re here.

You turn to Nat and say, “I’m not going back in the field.”

She pats your arm with only a tiny bit of condescension and says, “I’m not asking you to.”

“You’re my Head of Security,” Stark says, then gestures to the hologram building, “If you can design impenetrable security systems, surely you can undo them.”

“You want me to help you break into this place?” you ask. The team all nod, and you look back at the intimidating, virtual-blue building in front of you. “It’s a fortress.”

“Yeah, they really upped the anti on security since I was in there,” Sam Wilson says, earning him a reproachful look from Steve. It does nothing to soothe the anxiety starting to thread through your chest. Failing the Avengers doesn’t seem like an option, but from where you’re standing, neither is breaking into this facility.

“I’ll need to know what it is first,” you say, “Then I can try and help you. Emphasis on try. I’m not a miracle worker.”

“It’s called the Raft,” Steve says, his face growing stony and set as he talks. “It’s a prison designed for enhanced persons by Secretary Ross. After Germany, I broke Sam, Scott, and Clint out. But Wanda-“

“We need to get her out of there,” Clint says. You pretend not to notice as beside you Nat discreetly takes his hand, rubbing her thumb across his bruised knuckles.

“Leave the search and rescue to us,” Stark says, and you watch him shift uncomfortably under some inscrutable looks Steve and Sam are giving him, “We just need your help on how to get into the joint.”

“Simple,” you breathe, but only Nat laughs. This seems like an impossible task, but from the look of  everyone around you, failure isn’t an option. You’re going to have to make the impossible possible. It’s a good thing you’ve had some experience with that - in the military, trapped into sand-filled corners with no foreseeable way out, it really did seem like you were working miracles to stay alive out there. You swallow past a dry mouth and blink through desert-gunked eyes, say, “I’ll need that Starkpad, and some time.”

“You have forty-eight hours,” Stark says. The hologram disappears in a blink as he throws the Starkpad, no bigger than your palm, which you only just manage to catch. Stark clicks his fingers, as if an idea as just occurred to him, and says, “Oh, I almost forget to tell you! The Raft is underwater. Completely submerged, middle of the ocean, super top-secret. Fun, right?”

Your heart drops to your stomach. Fun is not the word you you would use. Only forty-eight hours to break into the most secure facility in the country, if not the world? This day couldn’t possibly blindside you anymore.

As if the universe is conspiring against you, FRIDAY’s voice chimes in from overhead speakers to say, “Mr Stark, Sergeant Barnes is on his way to the gym floor.”

You feel your whole body lock up, heart seizing in your chest - Bucky? Here? You weren’t prepared to see him yet, or speak to him. What would you say? How could you apologise for one of the worst crimes you may have ever committed, and you’ve killed people? Natasha unloops her arm from yours, tries to soothe you with a hand on your back but it does nothing for the anxiety shooting sparks throughout your blood stream.

“How many times have I got to tell that illiterate Soviet popsicle, he’s not on the fucking team,” Stark grumbles, storming towards the elevators with a scowl. Steve clenches his fists, glaring after Stark but Sam holds him back. He mutters something only Steve can hear which makes him close his eyes and exhale sharp through his nose - frustrated, but calming by the nanosecond.

It’s a shame nobody thought to do the same for you.

“What did you just call him?” you say, ignoring Natasha’s warning murmur of your name as you follow after Stark. Maybe you still have some residually elevated hormones from your heat, or you really are just a lovesick idiot who can’t control her temper, but whatever it is has you absolutely incensed. Stark stops dead, clearly caught off guard by the venom in your voice, and spins on his heel to stare at you incredulously.

“Excuse me?” he says, blinking owlishly at you as you lean up into his space. You’re aware you’re overstepping the boss/employee line, but you can’t help yourself. The rage is brewing, and with each laboured breath Bucky’s scent grows stronger and stronger until it’s all you can smell. It settles over your skin like armour, and the urge to protect that hold on you, to protect him, is beyond your control - it’s primal.

“Don’t talk about him like that, ever,” you snarl, watching with satisfaction as Stark’s eyes turn round and wide.

He glances behind you towards his friends and says, “Are we sure she isn’t an alpha? Sheesh.”

“Tony,” Natasha warns, but it’s too late. You use the palm of your hand to slam into Stark’s solar plexus. You kick out his kneecap and he drops on one knee, wheezing and gasping for air. It all happens so fast you can’t even think about the repercussions of assaulting your boss, let alone what’s driven you to do it in the first place.

“I don’t need to be an alpha to kick your ass,” you hiss, glaring down at Stark who looks up at you like you have, in fact, lost your mind.

At that moment, the elevator dings and reveals Bucky practically seething behind the elevator doors. He storms in, larger than life - in the week or so it’s been since you’ve seen him, you’ve somehow forgotten how physically intimidating he actually is. You immediately step back from Stark’s kneeling figure, feeling the strange need to hide your hands behind your back like a kid caught with the cookie jar. Bucky glances wildly between you, Stark on the ground, and the ring of Avengers in different states of attempting to intervene. He heaves ragged breaths and is emitting a scent that threatens to take you to your knees, too. Authoritative, powerful, protective.

That submissive, animalistic side of you makes you really hate being an omega sometimes.

“Why is she here?” Bucky asks someone behind you, probably Natasha. He swings his, frankly, frightening gaze to Stark and demands with just as much venom as you had, “What did you do to her.”

“Jesus Christ, nothing!” Stark wheezes, clutching at the spot on his chest you’ve definitely bruised. He points an accusing finger at you and cries, “She hit me!”

“I’m so sorry,” you say, feeling your hands start to shake where you clutch them behind your back. You look to Bucky like maybe he can explain, which makes you sick to your stomach because he’s not yours to look towards. Now, more than ever, that is abundantly clear. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do!” Natasha pipes up behind you, helpful as ever. Bucky glares at her for you this time, releasing you of his burning-hot stare. His gaze has the power to paralyse you, and you need to get away from him, this, all of it - right now. You don’t get a chance to, however, before Natasha once again sticks her foot in it and says, “She was defending your honour, James.”

“Yeah, and I’ve no idea why. One quick google search should tell you he doesn’t need any-“

It takes you a second to realise the snarling, growling sound echoing through the gym is coming from you. Your face burns as you roll your lips together, cutting the sound off completely. For your entire life you’ve been headstrong and confident, but this whole experience with Bucky from the very first day you met him has shaken your entire self-perception. Everything you’ve known has been turned upside down - it was easy when all alphas were assholes, and you were one omega they couldn’t fuck with. Now, you stare down at your shoes and refuse to look in Bucky’s direction because he’s affected you so much you can’t even control yourself anymore. The worst part is that it’s entirely your own doing, because Bucky made it very clear you aren’t the one he wants, so everything you’re doing right now is just incredibly humiliating.

“(Y/n)?” Bucky’s voice makes you shudder. Looking at him would surely make you burst into flames, from embarrassment of the last time you saw him which you can’t even think about, or from the shame of pathetically defending a man who doesn’t want anything to do with you. He doesn’t even want you here, storming up to ask why you’re in his home in the first place.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, giving Bucky a wide berth as you head for the elevators. You can’t get there fast enough, practically sprinting to press the close-door button as fast as you can.

“Wait-“

And then, the absolute worst thing happens. You almost crush the Starkpad still in your hand from clenching your fist so hard - you have to, in order to keep your hands by your sides and not in Bucky’s personal space. Because just as the doors are about to slide closed, he slips in between them and FRIDAY seals you both in. The elevator fills with Bucky Bucky Bucky, just like your heat-addled brain has been chanting at you since you stumbled into his apartment a week ago.

Bucky stares at you wide-eyed, and you stare back just the same. This could possibly be your worst nightmare come to life, especially when the elevator screeches to a halt and FRIDAY’s dulcet tones hammer your fate home.

“I appear to be having some technical difficulties,” FRIDAY says, sounding confused if an AI can sound like anything. “I’m so sorry, I’m trying to fix this. It seems someone is manually overriding my control of the elevator.”

“Nat,” you groan, in unison with Bucky. So that’s it. You’re stuck in an elevator with Bucky and are being forced to face the music, by the powers that be. The powers being Natasha, a no good meddler who is going to be in a world of pain when you get out of here. Alpha be damned.

[eddies-weirdo]

Not Your Loki (pt3)

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Summary: After what feels like a million years of jumping through timelines, you finally think you found the one with your Loki. Unfortunately the Loki you find isn't yours and has been heartbroken and defeated by another. Do you still help him?

Warning: cursing, mention of death, sadness, grief

Loki quizzically looks across the table at you after you pause the reel. "Why did you pause it?" "The only things left are some memories I'd rather not revisit at the moment" you explain. You look through your bag for your notebook and tempad to start figuring where you need to jump to next. "Ok so if I'm going to help I need you to tell me what happened. Did she kill him? The man who remained?"

"You didn't show me the rest" he says with a smirk "so I'm not going to work with you". Is he really doing this you think as you pinch the bridge of your nose, is he really doing this now. "I said no and that means no Loki Laufeyson".

"But that -"

"No."

"How am I-"

"No."

"How do you expect -"

"I SAID NO LOKI, END OF DISCUSSION."

You look up realizing you let your anger get the better of you, "I'm sorry Loki I didn't mean to raise my voice I -". His face is a mix of surprise and worry. "I didn't think you had that in you." "I - I'll be right back" you say as you walk outside the interrogation room. Walking across the hall you stand with you head against the wall. Why did I do that, why, I haven't seen him in decades I- he's not even my Loki why am I worried. Oh Norns what have I done, now I'll never be able to -

Loki watches you leave and waits for the door to close behind you before moving from his chair. He goes to your side of the table to look over the notes you've written down from over the past few weeks of jumping. "Interesting, she somehow knows everywhere I've been". He sees the doodles of the variants you've met, people you've helped, recipies you've been given, and the friends you've made along the way. "She's really been on her own adventure all this time? For me?". He looks over at the orange round computer, double checks that you haven't walked back in yet, then presses play.

The projection picks up during the confrontation with Thanos. Instead of just him and Thor however, you're there as well in beautifully made leather armor similar to his. Instead of green though you had chosen a dark gray leather. He watches as he sees himself freeze with a dagger pointed at Thanos. He then sees you running at Thanos with a sword you'd picked up from a guard. "NO" he hears you yell. Thanos laughs and looks back to Loki, "Yours I assume? She'll make a fine trophy". He sees the fire in your eyes as you put everything you have into attacking Thanos, but it wasn't enough. He sees Thanos freeze you as well. "Leave her out of this" he hears himself say "let her go!" He then hears the same crack from before, and sees his lifeless body fall to the ground. "No resurrection this time" he hears the mad giant say. He then sees you somehow break from the giant's spell with a great scream "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN" and attack with everything you have but the giant tosses you aside like you're nothing. He sees the giant leave, while you and Thor weep over his broken body. He sees you trying to carry him out, "No we must leave him y/n, we have to save ourselves" you hear Thor say. The look you'd given Thor was enough to silence him and help you. The scene then switches to a funeral. Thor is placing a simple marker on a hillside in new Asgard, the rest of the remaining Avengers surrounding him. Loki sees that your eyes are red and puffy with grief, and your skin hollowed by lack of sleep and sunlight. Nat is holding your hand tightly for support while you look on ahead, with no tears left to cry. Then the reel ends suddenly.

He catches tears falling on his own face, when he jumps at the noise of you speaking behind him after you silently reentered the room. "A part of me died along side you that day" you say "and I don't think I'll ever be able to get it back." Tears are falling from your eyes as well. Keeping eye contact with him, you continue. "I broke the sky and tore apart the stars to try and find you. I couldn't and still can't accept that this was your end ... our end". You wipe your face with your sleeve. "Do you believe me now when I say I want to help you? You big dummy." Suddenly Loki comes up to you and gives you a tight hug. Holding you he says, "I hope this is ok". You place your face on his chest and he lets you cry it out. "I'm beginning to see why I chose you as my wife" he chuckles. You take a step back so as to not over step his boundaries. "Well you did tell me you liked my cynicism for some reason" you say as you both pull it together. You unhook the reel and show him the end of the film you had clipped off. "This is my way of reminding myself that I'm making my own future now, I thought my Loki would have found it poetic or something" you say while putting the reel back into the canister. He chuckles sarcastically "Oh extremely my dear".

You both sit down as you pull out the maps you've made and the rest of your notes on how you've found jumping time to work. You roll up your sleeves "ok, ready to find your Sylvie?" He nods, "As long as you're ready to keep looking for your Loki".

Thanks for reading! Should I make this into a series?

[chaoticminhos]

coughing up the butterflies that died in my stomach when you broke my heart

--”It was draining, he thought, pretending to love you.”

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: mafia au, angst, fluff, smut

warnings: death, guns, chan’s kind of an asshole

word count: 9.7k

a/n: this is the longest shit i’ve written to date n i’m kinda super really proud of it, also sorry for the total fall out boy move i pulled with the title hhh i just like it a lots

you let out a content sigh as your boyfriend trailed his lips along your neck, biting down lightly and sucking on a sweet spot he knew by heart by now. he pulled away and admired his work before capturing your lips with his, pressing your hips down against his growing bulge and making an attempt to deepen the kiss. you pulled away from him with a giggle.

“hyunjin, i really have to go. i promised my dad i’d be up early to help him with some work stuff tomorrow.”

he pouted, “what do you even have to do? why can’t he do it himself?”

you laughed at your boyfriends clingy behavior, “i’m supposed to talk to some girls he’s considering hiring. says i’m less threatening than a tall, scary-looking old man.”

“what’s he hiring for?”

you sighed, he always did this. whenever the topic of your fathers business came up, he could never let it go.

“hyunjin.”

“what?” he tossed a hand in the air, keeping the other delicately on your waist, “is it so bad that i’m curious what my girlfriend does for a living?”

you sighed as he continued.

“i mean, we’ve been together for months and i still know basically nothing about your family business,” he let out a small laugh, “i’m starting to think it’s something illegal.”

you scoffed, smiling down at your boyfriend.

“baby, it’s not illegal, it’s just... private.”

“sounds pretty sketchy to me.”

you brought your lips to his again, smiling against them as you lifted yourself off of his lap with a giggle. he reached out to you with a pout on his face as you distanced yourself from him.

“baby, no, stay a little longer.”

you laughed, tossing your phone into your bag with the rest of your things and putting on your shoes.

“i would if i could, jinnie.”

the pout remained on his lips until you made your way back to him and gave him a last kiss before leaving for the night.

“i love you.”

“love you too.” he smiled up at you from his position on the couch. 

the smile left his features the second the door shut behind you, sinking deeper into his couch with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, and pulling out his phone to dial his bosses number to give his daily update.

it was draining, he thought, pretending to love you.

the phone rang a couple times before it was picked up, his bosses voice on the other end.

“anything new?”

“no, chan.” he ran a hand across his face, “same as the last five months. she still won’t tell me anything.” he sat up, “and she’s never going to. can’t we just accept that this mission failed and find another way to compromise the park mafia?”

“she’ll crack or slip up eventually, hyunjin. she loves you.”

hyunjin let out an exaggerated sigh before ending the call, “who doesn’t?”

he gathered his own things and stepped outside of the apartment, locking the door behind him. although his gang owned the place and he could stay there if he wanted to, he much rather preferred the mansion with the 8 other boys. they’d only bought this small apartment for the sake of his current mission, you’d obviously know something was up if he took you to a huge mansion. 

no, to you, he lived in a small, mediocre apartment that had a creaky floor and annoying neighbors. to you, he worked as a teachers assistant for the college the both of you were attending and that’s how he got his money. 

it was partially true, he did attend the same university as you. you were a freshman and he was in his sophomore year. he didn’t work as a teachers assistant, though. chan provided all the money he needed to keep afloat so he had no reason to work a regular job. to be fair, dating you was kind of like his job. 

he was majoring in business, just like you were. that’s how he made himself present in your life, sharing so many classes with you.

a few weeks into the first semester of your freshman year you ran into someone while on your way to class, bumping right into the chest of one of the most attractive people you’ve ever seen. you later learned his name to be hwang hyunjin.

“oh, i’m sorry!” you squeaked before looking up to see who you’d accidentally crashed into. 

“it’s okay, that was totally my fault.” he reached his hand out to you with a big smile, “i’m hyunjin.”

you hesitantly took his hand, face flushing as your skin came into contact with his, “y/n.”

“where are you headed, y/n?”

“i have a business lecture soon.” 

“really? so do i! let’s walk together.”

you awkwardly agreed. there wasn’t any way for you to get out of it, not that you really wanted to. despite your shy behavior at first, he kept a good conversation going as he walked you to class. you told him that you were majoring in business to help out with your family business and he told you that the only thing that stressed him out more than classes was his dog.

he offered a small wave when you two split as you entered the classroom.

you sat in your usual spot and glanced to see where he was seated. how had you never noticed him before? sure, the class was huge and there were a bunch of people but you were sure you would have noticed someone like him before. now that you had noticed him, though, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.

you recognized some of the boys he sat with. jeongin was a freshman just like you, so you had met him during the freshman introductory meetings and all the ‘student bonding’ activities the school made freshman go to. you knew jisung as well, he was in your biology class. you’d even been paired with him for a project at the way start of the year. he was a good partner, even though he complained the whole time about being one of the only sophomores in a class full of freshman. it was okay though, because he stated that you were an okay freshman.

as you continued to scan his friends for anyone you knew, you noticed him looking in your direction as well. his eyes caught yours and you turned your head quickly, face flushing red as you turned to the front. 

you spent the whole class thing of and sneaking glances at the pretty boy you’d bumped into earlier that day.

hyunjin had asked for your phone number that day after class was over, stating with a red face that he was going to ask you before but he got too scared. from then on, the two of you texted constantly and it wasn’t long before he asked you on a date. you obviously said yes. 

you quickly learned that he was so much more than a just pretty face. he told you more about his dog and how much he loved animals, his eyes lighting up whenever you asked how kkami was doing. he talked so fast when he was speaking of something he really cared about, tripping over his words and apologizing every other sentence for it. he’d gotten over that by now, he stopped apologizing when you told him you thought it was cute. 

he told you about his friends and even introduced you to them. the first time you met them was at his small apartment and you were amazed that you and all 9 of the boys could fit in there. jisung recognized you from class and even remembered your name, which surprised you. you didn’t think of yourself as very memorable. he said someone as pretty as you was very memorable. hyunjin said jisung wasn’t allowed to talk anymore if all he was going to do was flirt with you and you laughed because as much as you enjoyed his friends already, no one could take you away from him.

about a month into the relationship, you had become close with all of the boys. you spent most of your time with hyunjin, but you no longer felt awkward with the other boys around and you weren’t embarrassed by their teasing about you and hyunjin anymore. you learned that most of them were also focusing on business. the only ones who weren’t were jeongin and seungmin, who were in computer programming,

you thought it was odd at first that so many of them were in business. your father always told you to be careful around groups of friends that all majored in business, but many of them had family businesses to take over or help with, just like you. you figured their family ran different sorts of businesses than yours did, but a business is a business no matter how big or legal.

despite your dad not trusting your business major boyfriend or his friends, you came to trust them all very quickly. especially hyunjin.

even after just a month and a half of dating, you knew you loved him. you called him the night you realized it and told him. you figured there was no point in waiting, you had these feelings and you weren’t sorry for it. you could practically hear his smile through the phone as he told you he loved you too. 

when you told your dad you loved him, he told you to break up with him. 

“i don’t trust them,” he said, “they’re probably a gang.”

“they’re not a gang, dad. not every kid majoring in business is doing it to help their father run an illegal business like i am.”

illegal. 

sometimes the word illegal made your stomach feel weird. sure, you knew your dads business wasn’t clean, but it wasn’t anything terrible either. it’s not like you assisted with sex trafficking girls or blowing up buildings with bombs. your dad assured you that nothing you assisted with was ever to hurt anyone or cause anyone danger. you just laundered money. and it wasn’t like you were the ones selling the drugs, you just cleaned the money made from others selling the drugs. it’s different. and you believed him. after all, your dad was a good man. he’d gotten involved with some sketchy men and now your family was roped into illegal activities, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone and he was just doing what was best for your family and following orders from his boss. he owned his company, but he still worked for someone else. so even if there was anything strongly against your morals, it wouldn’t be like you had a choice. 

he explained it to you as a partnership of sorts. they got the money, you weren’t 100% sure how, but selling drugs or theft of various kinds was most likely, and all your family did was clean up the money. 

but even then, you knew what you did was very, very illegal. just because you were following orders doesn’t mean you couldn’t get charged. you had to keep everything you did quiet and you couldn’t talk to anyone but your own family about it. your dad made it clear what could happen if anything about it got out. lots and lots of legal action, or, if you somehow managed to evade the police, being killed by his superiors for messing up.

so to everyone other than your mom and dad, you were just a rich family who liked to invest in places and own buildings. it made a lot of money and it gave you means to launder the money through. you would figure out ways to slip the dirty money into transactions and make it legitimate and able to use.

it was hard keeping it from hyunjin, you didn’t like lying to him. okay well, technically you didn’t have to lie too much, but you had to keep a lot of the truth away from him. sometimes you wished you could talk to him about things, this type of work gets pretty stressful and there’s some stuff you don’t really want to talk to your parents about. plus, whenever you voiced your anxiety revolving around the business and being involved in it you got the same lecture about it being nothing to worry about so long as you keep your mouth shut about it all and don’t mess up.

you couldn’t talk about it much, but hyunjin asked about your work a lot. you knew it was just because it’s kind of weird when your significant other doesn’t really talk about their job. he understood that it was private though. you told him you handled a lot of the financials for things and that stuff was best kept to just employees. again, it wasn’t really a lie! you did handle a lot of money and financials. maybe you should have taken more than the base level economics classes in high school. 

you thought nothing of his curiosity, you’d be curious if he didn’t talk much about his job, either. he made a lot of jokes about you being a secret spy and things like that which made you laugh. he made jokes about you being involved with illegal things, too, but you knew he was joking. he didn’t know, there would be no way for him to know, so you always blew it off and joked back.

but he did know. him and the rest of the boys, they knew as much as there was to know about your family business. they knew who your father was and they knew what type of business he ran. in fact, they knew more about the type of industry your father ran than you did yourself. you were under the impression that the family business consisted of cleaning dirty money, but that was just the start of what your father ran.

he was the head of one of the most dangerous korean mafias, the largest one known for sex trafficking in the country. stray kids focused their attention on bringing down people like your father. sure, they had to pull some legal strings of their own to accomplish their goals, but it was for the benefit of others in the long run. plus, they didn’t hurt innocents. not any more than they had to, at least. 

you, however, were not innocent. most of the boys, hyunjin included, had given up on the idea of you knowing much about your fathers business. they thought you genuinely didn’t know anything bad was happening, but chan was convinced it was an act. no one could be as involved in a business as you were and not know specifics about it. no, you knew what your father ran, he was sure of it.

hyunjin turned the doorknob to the mansion and stepped inside, locking it behind him. he was probably the last home, and if he wasn’t, everyone had a key. 

he carried his things to his room before heading back down the stairs and into the living room where all 8 of his friends were sitting and chatting.

he plopped himself down in an empty spot beside felix on the couch, immediately addressing chan.

“it’s a waste of my time, dude. she doesn’t know anything.”

hyunjin watched as chans jaw clenched. he did not want to be having this argument again.

“she does, hyunjin.”

“i don’t think she does, hyung. and even if she did, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anything out of her.” jisung spoke up.

“she’ll slip up, jisung.”

it was hyunjins turn to speak again, “it’s been over five months and she hasn’t shown any sign of knowing anything about what her father does. i think she really thinks it’s just a normal business.”

“if she thought it was a normal business why would she be so secretive about it?” chan challenged.

hyunjin shrugged, “lots of completely legal things need to be kept secret.”

“you just want to be able to break up with her so you can whore around campus again.” felix teased, causing hyunjin to send a glare in his direction.

“she thinks she’s my girlfriend felix, i have no problem getting my dick wet.”

“even with your dick in her you can’t get any more information out of her in nearly six months than jisung did during a two week bio project.” 

“why are you complaining, jinnie? i’d be all over her if i didn’t know who her father was.” minho chimed in, also earning a glare from hyunjin.

“shut the fuck up.”

“you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend.”

chan cleared his throat to interrupt the bickering, turning to address hyunjin again.

“give it until the six month mark. if she still hadn’t cracked or slipped by then, we’ll find another way.”

hyunjin scoffed, “what, send another one of us on a useless goose chase to try to get information out of her she doesn’t even have?”

“hyunjin, i get that you’re frustrated and six months is a long time to pretend you love someone, but-“ 

he didn’t quite catch the rest of what his leader said, his mind pausing for a moment at those words.

“pretend to love someone.”

he wasn’t given time to analyze why those words made something inside of him churn before chan was snapping his fingers in front of his face to gain his attention back.

“are you good, jinnie?”

“yeah,” he sighed, brushing off his brief moment of discomfort, “just exhausted.”

“it’s hard work, man. you’re a good actor. she really thinks you’re head over heels for her.”

a laugh fell from his lips, “where’s my fucking emmy?”

three weeks.

 just three more weeks and then he could end things with you. three more weeks until he could stop going to that shitty apartment every day after his classes and instead just head straight home to the mansion. god, it’s been forever since he was able to go home before sundown. he always had to stay at the apartment until late at night on the chance that you’d want to see him or come over.

three weeks he reminded himself as he got up to address the knocking at the apartment door. he greeted you with a smile and wide arms.

“hey, baby.”

you snuggled into his chest, “i missed you.”

“you literally saw me last night, you crybaby.”

you pouted up at him, “it’s been almost 24 hours! that’s way too long!”

he laughed before placing a kiss to your nose, lightly holding your arm and leading you to his living room. 

“i already picked a movie, but you can choose a different one if you want.”

you glanced at the screen and pretended to think for a moment, he knew you could never say no to this movie, it was one of your favorite.

“i guess this one will do.”

he chuckled as he made himself one with the couch, opening his arms to welcome you into them while the movie started. he pulled a blanket up over the two of you and secured his arms around you, making sure you were comfortable before focusing his attention on the movie.

about halfway through the film, your witty comments and replies to your boyfriend stopped and were replaced with tiny snores. feeling tired himself, he shut the movie off and reached for his phone to let chan know he would be staying at the apartment tonight. he couldn’t leave you here alone, a real boyfriend wouldn’t do that. he carefully shifted your bodies so you were both laying down and you started to stir, a small groan of annoyance passing your lips.

“shh, baby, go back to sleep.”

you complied, immediately falling back into slumber. as he secured his arms around you once again and you buried your face in his chest in your sleep, he couldn’t help but to smile. 

you looked so cute when you were asleep. how did you manage it? you weren’t even doing anything, but you made a funny feeling pool in his stomach. without much thought, hyunjin placed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“goodnight, baby.”

two weeks.

 well, technically it was a week and 6 days. that’s how much longer he had to keep the ruse up. but that countdown was far from his mind.

he was in your apartment this time, and the second you opened the door for him, he had it slammed shut with your back pressed against it. you let out a surprised noise as his lips crashed to yours, but you made no effort to stop it. it was messy, full of teeth, but you couldn’t get enough of it.

you were finally able to speak when he pulled away and started trailing kisses down your neck.

“hyunjin, what’s gotten into you?”

“just,” he spoke between kisses, “had a long day.”

he had multiple tests and he was sure he bombed most, if not all, of them. he was angry and frustrated and he needed to calm down. the first thing that came to his mind whenever he needed to destress was the same as always— you.

you let him pick you up and you wrapped your legs around his body as he carried you to your bedroom, lips never leaving your own. he’d been here so many times that he knew where he was going without having to look.

he laid you with your back to the mattress and wasted no time ridding the both of you of clothes. 

he brought his lips to your nipple, tongue swirling around the sensitive bud before taking it into his mouth and sucking. you moaned at the feeling, he knew just what you liked and he delivered every single time he took you to bed.

you whined when he removed himself from your breast, the cold air hitting your wet nipple. he traced sloppy, wet kisses down your stomach and across your thighs, stopping before he could reach where you wanted him most.

you would have whined, but you were cut off by his finger suddenly entering you and his lips attaching to your core. he pumped his finger in and out of you slowly before adding another, and then another until you were moaning out that you were close. he pulled away, earning an annoyed huff from your mouth. you’d expected it though, he loved to tease you.

it wasn’t long before he was bottoming out and pounding into you so hard that you almost felt sorry for your neighbors for having to hear the bed squeak like it was.

“baby,” you panted out, “i’m close.”

he took that as his sign to bring his thumb to your core, paying attention to your sensitive bundle of nerves. he could tell by the way that you clenched around him and moaned his name that you were coming undone. 

he snapped his eyes to your face, eyes screwed shut and bottom lip pulled between your teeth. god, you looked absolutely gorgeous like this. the sight of you in such deep pleasure threw him over the edge, giving a few last thrusts before pulling out of you and stroking himself through his orgasm as he spilled onto your stomach. he rode out his high before leaning down and placing a soft kiss to your lips. he took up, admiring the way you looked, all fucked out with his seed covering your stomach. there it was, that feeling in his stomach again, almost like lightning bugs were coming alive inside of his tummy.

he grabbed a washcloth and cleaned himself off before wiping you clean as well and then helping you to the bathroom. he pulled on a pair of boxers and went to get you a glass of something to drink and a snack. 

you were already back on the bed when he returned and he frowned.

“baby, i could have helped you back.”

you laughed, “it’s okay, my legs aren’t too sore.”

he raised an eyebrow teasingly, “oh, is that so? do i need to work harder next time?”

you laughed again, taking a hold of his arm and pulling him down to lay beside you. he kissed you lightly, reaching to the floor to hand you the t-shirt he had been wearing before for you to put on. you slipped it over your shoulders, loving that it smelled like him.

he smiled, you always looked so cute and small in his clothes.

he made sure you drank some water and ate a little before allowing you to bury your face in his chest and fall asleep. he sent a message to chan yet again that he wouldn’t be coming home that night. in fact, he’d barely slept at the mansion in the past week, spending most of his nights either here or at his ‘apartment’ with you. 

one week.

one more week was supposed to be how much time left hyunjin had with you, but that all came crashing and burning as you stared blankly at his lit up phone screen. he stepped out of his bathroom with a towel around his waist and was met with your confused and hurt eyes.

“hyunjin.” you started, “what the fuck is this?”

you frowned, coming closer to see what you were talking about. there, on the screen of his phone, was a text message from chan.

“she’s not going to break within the next week. bring her to the mansion, i have a plan.”

his eyes widened and he snatched the phone from your hands, quickly dialing chans number and holding the phone to his ear as he used his other arm to try to secure you from running out. he quickly gave up, putting the phone on speaker and tossing it aside and using his full strength to pin you down.

“hello?” chans voice rang from the phone. no response.

“hyunjin, what’s going on?”

raising his voice above your cries, hyunjin spoke.

“chan,  get to the apartment now! she knows.”

it didn’t take long for chan and the rest of the boys to arrive, the mansion wasn’t that far away and it’s not like they were obeying any speeding laws.

it was surprisingly easy for hyunjin to keep you contained while they were on their way. after a few minutes, you stopped struggling against him. there was a look in your eyes that made him feel like throwing up and he almost wished you would keep fighting against him so he wouldn’t have to see it. 

you didn’t struggle as they lead you to a car and shoved you in the backseat, either. you knew you were no match for 9 guys. plus, what were they going to do, torture you? nothing could hurt you more than the aching in the pit of your stomach at that moment. hyunjin didn’t love you. 

they didn’t bother to cover your eyes on the car ride or to shield you from seeing their home. great. that meant it didn’t matter what you saw. they were probably going to kill you. you choked down a sob as the idea of hyunjin holding a gun to your head. 

they brought you into a room with a cement floor and cement walls and you scoffed lightly, they must do this often, you thought, to have a whole room for it. there was even a big, deep brown stain covering a part of the floor, showing that they’d brought people to and disposed of people in that very room before.

you didn’t fight as they brought your hands to a set of chained cuffs that were connected to the wall. there was about four feel of chain, giving you a small area to move around. you tugged lightly as they secured the cuffs around your wrists, there was no getting out of them. not that it mattered.

even if you did manage to escape that room somehow, it was no use. you didn’t know the layout of the building. sure, you knew that they’d brought you down a flight of stairs and you’d made a right turn somewhere or another, but you hadn’t been paying attention.

you only moved to acknowledge them when they all crowded into the small room, watching you like they expected something from you. you felt tears roll down your face as you observed the people you called your friends and the boy you were in love with mutter amongst themselves about what to say first.

“what am i doing here?”

chan was the one to respond and you caught on pretty quick that he was the leader of whatever they had.

“you tell me, y/n.”

you leaned your back against the hard wall and slid down until you were in a sitting position, pulling your knees to your chest.

“is this about my dad?” you began and chan raised his eyebrows as if to say i told you so to the others, “did we cut you short? i’m sorry, we had a rough month last month and-“

changbin cut you off, “cut us short?”

you nodded, “not clean enough? i swear we’ll make it back, pay you double what we missed-“

“what are you talking about?”

you frowned, “isn’t that what this is about? we- we launder for you, right?”

chan crouched down so he was eye level with you, “we don’t give a shit about money laundering, y/n. we’re concerned with the human trafficking and selling young girls and boys like they’re cattle.”

your eyes went wide, “we don’t-“

hyunjin scoffed, “y/n, why do you really think your dad puts out ads for young interns so often? where do they all go?”

you looked at him. his tone was so, so cold, but you swore you saw something akin to pain in his dark eyes.

“he has you screen all those girls for jobs, but do you ever see them at work?”

you shook your head.

“but you already knew that they weren’t getting jobs, didn’t you?” chan questioned.

you processed their words and the more you thought of it the more it made sense. why else would he have you interview so many people when you couldn’t think of anywhere they would be put to work? no, there had to be an explanation. your dad would never do that. your mom would never okay it.

your eyes locked with chans and something inside of you broke, he really thought you were involved with human trafficking. he thought you were capable of conning people your age into trusting you and then giving them to creepy old men to buy and use like toys. his eyes showed no sign of doubting himself on it.

you broke down, burying your face in your hands and curling up into yourself, trying to disappear. how could he think that of you? is this what they all thought? what hyunjin thought?

chan scoffed and stood as he was about to say something else, but jisung interrupted in a hesitant and soft tone.

“hyung, i really don’t think she knew.”

chan looked at him before looking back at your distressed state, desperately trying to catch your breath and stop the tears. you didn’t want to look so pathetic in front of them.

“we can talk more later. she’s no use right now.”

he turned to leave the room and everyone followed him out, save hyunjin. he lingered, waiting until everyone else was out before pulling the door shut and crouching down next to you.

he reached a hand to smooth down your hair but you recoiled from his touch. he seemed shocked at your reaction but regained composure so quickly you weren’t even sure if what you saw was surprise.

was he really still going to act like he cared? the tears staining your cheeks weren’t given a chance to dry as more fell over them.

despite your attempt to hide how badly you were breaking, your voice shook with every word you said.

“why, hyunjin?”

he stood and shrugged, his caring personality from moments before long gone. you guessed you had imagined it after all. 

“it’s just work.”

“you-“ your voice broke, “you never loved me! you let me think you loved me.”

he just stared at you. you couldn’t tell what was worse, when he pretended to care or moments like that where it was obvious he never did.

“you let me fall in love with you, hyunjin!” you were yelling by now, “i trusted you! i let you take my virginity and i-“ you choked down a sob, “i loved you so much.” you raised your eyes to meet his, “it meant nothing to you? you didn’t feel anything? all the times you said you loved me and all the times you made love to me, you felt nothing?”

if there was any flicker of guilt or pain he felt at your words, he did a hell of a job hiding it.

“nope.” he shrugged, speaking with a dry tone, “having something to put my dick in was just a perk of the job.”

you didn’t say anything else, you just watched him leave in silence, letting yourself sink completely to the floor as the door shut behind him.

you couldn’t see it, but in the hallway just outside the door, hyunjin pressed the back of his head against the wall as he brought his hands to his face, desperately trying to shake the aching feeling from his heart.

to say you were surprised when they actually brought you breakfast the next morning would be an understatement. you expected cruel, harsh punishments until you confessed to things you didn’t even know. 

instead, you got a neat plate containing pancakes, eggs, and some bacon, all delivered by the youngest of the group, the only one that was a freshman with you.

you hesitantly accepted, chuckling softly at the plastic cutlery. 

“thanks, jeongin.”

he fidgeted nervously, “no problem, noona. hyunjin said you liked this kind of stuff for breakfast so-“

he stopped speaking mid sentence  when your eyes snapped up from the plate to him at the mention of your boyfriends name. 

was he even your boyfriend anymore? ex boyfriend?

“did he make these?” you gestured to the pancakes. jeongin nodded, and suddenly the food didn’t seem as appealing as it had when he first brought it. 

you managed to choke down most of the meal, but not even a whole bottle of maple syrup could cover up the bitter taste the food left in your mouth. you thought back to all the other times he’d made you breakfast like this. 

the morning after you let him take your virginity came to your mind. he’d woken you up with a gentle kiss and gave you breakfast in bed. he ate with you and told you how much he loved you, that he never wanted to lose you. the memory used to be one of your favorites, now it just made you want to throw up the pancakes you’d forced down your throat earlier.

jeongin stayed with you until you told him you were done eating and you were surprisingly sad to see him leave, shutting the door behind him when he left and leaving you alone in the cold room again.

jeongin brought you all of your meals. he brought you lunch and dinner that day. he sat with you the whole time you ate those, too. he always seemed like he wanted to say something to you but was hesitant to. he seemed to genuinely feel bad for doing this to you. 

jeongin was the only person you’d seen all day until a few hours after dinner, you couldn’t tell the time, the nine of them squished into your cell again, just like the day before. you were mentally preparing yourself for another emotional draining.

you flinched when felix took a step towards you, reaching his hands to yours. he assured you he didn’t want to hurt you, saying that jeongin mentioned he’d noticed you needed patching up. he examined your wrists, all bruised and cut up from struggling against the cuffs. it’s funny, you hadn’t even realized your injuries. hell, you hadn’t realized you were struggling enough to cause yourself injury. 

he pushed the cuffs away from the major cuts and bruises before taking an alcohol wipe to them. you hissed when it came in contact with your cuts, wincing at the way the cloth turned red so quickly.

he wrapped small bandages around both of your wrists, both to keep the old cuts from opening and to prevent new ones.

felix offered a small smile as he finished up and joined the rest of the boys on the other side of the room. 

the gentle moment was short lived.

“anything new to tell us since yesterday, y/n?”

your eyes fell on the source of the voice, none other than chan. you let out a sad laugh.

“it seems like you’re the ones enlightening me.”

he lurched forward, grabbing the chain of the cuffs and pulling you close to him so your faces were only inches apart. you winced at the harsh movement against your wrists.

“you think this is funny?”

you didn’t respond, so he tugged the chain again, earning another small cry from you. this was not the chan you knew and it terrified you.

“hyung-“ jeongin began, only to be cut off by a glare from chan.

“no.”

another small tug, what a fucking sadist.

“no, i swear, i don’t know anything. okay? i swear.”

he stared into your eyes for longer than you were comfortable with before releasing his grip on the cuffs, letting your hands drop.

without saying anything more, he left the room. the others went to follow him out, but were stopped by your small voice.

“jeongin?”

he turned, making his way to you. you lifted up your wrists, showing the bandages completely bled through. chan tugging on them must have irritated them. hyunjin lingered at the door and watched the way you let jeongin move your hand around to look at it so comfortably, so different from how you’d cowered away from him the day before.

it frustrated him, seeing you trusting jeongin like that. it should be him, right? you don’t even know jeongin that well, but you’d know him for months. he couldn’t blame you, though. why would you still trust him after everything he’d put you through?

he was snapped out of his thoughts as jeongin met him at the door and stated he needed to go to the medical wing to get bandages to replace the bloodied ones you had on. hyunjin contemplated staying with you while jeongin went to grab the supplies, but one quick look at you could tell you were begging him not to.

he was angry at chan. there was no reason to treat you like that. he didn’t care that it was you because he didn’t have any feelings for you, but no one deserved that treatment when it’s unsure and improbable that they’re guilty.

he didn’t have any feelings for you. it was just him getting used to not having to act like he did. he didn’t actually care for you. 

he didn’t, right?

jeongin brought you breakfast again the next morning, immediately going to check your bandages. he smiled when he saw that they hadn’t been too soiled, meaning you didn’t bleed too much since last night. 

you stared at the food and it was like he could guess what you were thinking.

he nudged you with a small smile, “i made breakfast this morning.”

you chuckled before taking a bite of what he’d made.

“chan hyung says he believes you, by the way.”

you cocked your head in confusion.

“he thinks you’re innocent.”

you scoffed, “that’s good, because i am.”

“he’s really not that mean, you know.”

you huffed again, raising your wrists and showing the bandages and cuffs.

“he’s a sadistic prick who kills people for no reason.” you gestured to the blood stain on the floor.

“oh, you mean that? no, chan shot him because he ran a huge animal fighting ring.”

your eyes widened. okay, maybe the man deserved some respect.

jeongin had had just left to take your plate to the kitchen when hyunjin, changbin, and chan entered your little cell. 

you noticed hyunjin eyeing the bandages but chose not to vocalize it.

“we believe you.”

you remained seated on the cold floor.

“but we can’t just let you go, you’re a threat now. you know who we are and you know we’re after your father.”

“so, what? you’re going to keep me locked up in here forever?”

“i was thinking of giving you your own room and bed actually, but if you’d prefer this...”

he glanced around the room and the corners of your mouth turned up at chans attempt to joke with you. this was the chan you knew. not the one who toyed with your injuries the day before.

“look, y/n, i know he’s your father, but it’s clear you don’t want anything to do with what he’s really running. if you want, you’re welcome to stay here.”

“and if i don’t want to?”

he smiled again, “well, it’s not really a choice, i was just trying to be polite.”

this even got a smile back from you, which irked hyunjin even more. you could look chan in the eyes and smile for him when he’d practically tortured you less than 24 hours earlier but you couldn’t even meet his eyes?

“so?”

chans phone chirped and he slipped it out of his pocket.

“okay.”

he nodded to show he’d heard your response, “i have to go. seungmin says the front cameras detected motion.”

he handed the key to hyunjin before hurrying out the door. hyunjin made a move towards you, but stopped when he saw the glare on your face. he turned, handing the key to changbin. he clenched his jaw shut as changbin moved closer to you and you didn’t do much as tense up at his proximity. we’re you really that angry at him?

before changbin could unlock your cuffs, his phone went off with the same sound chans had.

“shit, more motion detectors went off.”

he passed the key to hyunjin and, seeing that he was your last option, you allowed him to get close enough to you to slip the key into the handcuffs, finally freeing you of them.

you rubbed your wrists, wincing at the contact. he looked at your wrists and your tear stained face.

there was nothing he wanted to do more in that moment than kiss it all better.

suddenly, two men you’d never seen before stormed into the room, guns raised. hyunjin seemed to recognize them, stepping in front of you.

“woah, woah, woah! chan cleared her, she’s good to go.”

was he protecting you? no, he was just standing up for you because chan had decided to keep you alive.

“that was then. he changed his mind.”

hyunjin adjusted the way he was standing to a more protective stance, covering your entire body with his own. maybe he did care.

“what? why?”

one of the men gestured to you with his gun before lowering it, “her little rescue squad showed up.”

hyunjin turned back to you as if to ask “is that true?”

you shook your head, you didn’t know anything about a rescue. how did your dad even know you were here?

“move, hwang. chans orders.”

you felt your stomach drop as he slowly moved out from in front of you. your eyes went wide and locked with his. he looked just as scared as you felt.

you turned back to the two men as they raised their guns again. you shut your eyes, praying that despite what they’d done to you, all nine of the boys got out of this alright. and despite how much you loved your parents, you hoped that they got taken down.

you took in a deep breath, waiting for the gunshot.

you felt your heart stop as two shots rang out.

you slowly opened your eyes, you didn’t feel a bullet wound. you were met with the two men laying on the ground with bullet holes in their heads. you turned to see hyunjin putting his gun back into his waistband before reaching out for your hand.

you pulled away, maybe he had just saved you from assassination, but you were not going anywhere with him. you had to find jeongin, he would keep you safe.

you weren’t able to act on your decision, though. he grabbed your arm, right above where the bandage stopped so he wouldn’t hurt you, and pulled you out of the room. you cringed as you stepped over the two bodies, careful not to step into the puddle of blood.

he lead you down a hallway that you vaguely remembered walking through when they first brought you here. you follow him up a staircase and he mumbled to you that he was taking you to his car so he could get you out of there. just before you were able to reach the garage, you was cut off by a few men you didn’t recognize. you looked at hyunjin, assuming they worked with him, but he shook his head. before you registered that they must work for your dad, two men had pulled hyunjin away from you and were holding him still. another one of the men pressed a button on the device in his ear.

“sir, we found her.”

you couldn’t run, they would kill hyunjin. you had no choice but to wait for who you assumed was your father to show up.

when he did, he immediately pulled you into a big hug. you pushed him away, disgusted. he didn’t seem to notice your disdain, grabbing your wrist and lifting it up with concern in his eyes.

“i told you they were no good, honey.”

you pulled yourself from his grip, ignoring the sting in your wrist for doing so.

“don’t fucking touch me.”

he reached out to you, but you swatted him away.

“my angel, what lies did they tell you to make you act this way?”

you swallowed hard before speaking, “they said you run a large human trafficking ring. that you use the people you say i’m interviewing for jobs and sell them to people like they’re just a toy to play with. people my age, dad.” your voice shrunk, “how long until you run out of people to pawn off and decide to sell me?”

he let out a small laugh, “sweetheart, i would never let you get in the hands of men like that! look, i even saved you from these pathetic excuses for men.”

hyunjin jerked around in the men’s arms and you locked eyes with him for a moment. you turned back to your father and forced a smile onto your lips.

“you’re right, daddy. you saved me. i should have listened to you when you told me to break up with him so long ago.”

he smiled back, “it’s okay cupcake, we all make mistakes.” you tried not to cringe as he pulled you into a tight hug.

“here,” he pulled a gun from his waistband, the one he swore he only carried to protect you and your mother, “you deserve the honors.”

you took the gun from his hands, forcing a smile to stay on your face as you familiarized yourself with the way it felt to hold. you’d shot a gun before, but never outside of a shooting range.

“you remember how, dear?” your father asked.

you nodded, lifting it up in both of your hands and pointing it at hyunjin. his eyes were frantic, like he knew you were planning something, but there was still an ounce of doubt, a small part of him that thought you would pull the trigger.

you clicked the safety off and fired a shot at the floor without hesitating. the noise rang through your ears, it was sure to be heard around the entire mansion, right? the boys would hear it and come running to help.

your dad lunged to take the gun from you but you raised it again, pointing it at him. everyone was shocked and hyunjin took that as an opportunity to free himself from his captors, moving so he was shoulder to shoulder with you and pulling out his own gun. you ignored the volt of electricity that shot through you at finally being close to him again.

your fathers men raised their own weapons and your dad made no attempt to have them lower their arms.

he let out a dry laugh, “i thought i raised you better than this.”

before you could spit back a reply, hyunjin did it for you.

“what, better than not operating a sex ring?”

“better than spending her time with some lowlife-“

shots rang through the building and you felt hyunjin tackle you, trapping you between his body and the floor and shielding you from the gunfire. after what felt like hours, the noise stopped and you heard minho speak.

“jesus fucking christ, is that all of them then?”

hyunjin slowly picking himself up off of you, checking to make sure the coast was clear before letting you back out into the open. the first thing you laid eyes on was the body of your father, fallen to the ground with a hold in his chest and his white button up stained red.

“no!” you screamed, and hyunjin pulled you into his chest, shielding you from looking at your fathers corpse any longer. you wept into his chest. you barely heard him yell for someone to move the body as you felt your heart snap even more, which you didn’t think was possible. 

you only looked back up when you heard chans voice, and he sounded mad.

“hyunjin, why the fuck is she still alive?”

you jumped at his words and hyunjin held you tighter.

“why would she need to be dead, hyung?” he yelled back.

he didn’t respond to hyunjin, instead directing his words at you.

“how the fuck did they know you were here?”

“i-i really don’t know chan, i’m sorry, he always talked about thinking you guys were a gang and i guess he assumed it was you who took me and-“

you cut yourself off with a sob, muttering ‘i’m sorry’ over and over again, hoping to god he would see that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

changbin approached him, wrapping and arm around his shoulder and suggesting they go for a walk. chan agreed, leaving with changbin.

jeongin kneeled down beside where you and hyunjin were still bundled together.

“he’ll calm down, noona, he knows you didn’t do anything, he’s just upset. felix got shot.”

you sat up straight, “what? is he okay?”

jeongin nodded, waving a hand dismissively, “he’s fine, it was just a graze, but hyung’s always been super protective over felix.”

you nodded, relaxing into hyunjins arms again. you had been so wrapped up in your own thoughts you hadn’t realized that the rest of the boys had moved all of the bodies already. your chest stung when you remembered your father was among them.

 your father. he was dead, but what about your mom? was she okay?

you patted your pockets for your phone, but they’d taken it from you when they took you from hyunjins apartment.

“hey, woah, baby, what’s wrong?”

“can i use your phone?”

he agreed, pulling it from his pocket and handing it to you. you dialed your mothers phone number.

as the phone rang, you ran possible scenarios through your head. did she know what your father was really doing, or was she in the dark, just like you? 

the phone went to voicemail. you left a message saying it was you and that you were okay and to call back when she got it.

you couldn’t stop thinking about why it just kept ringing. why didn’t she answer?

you handed hyunjin back his phone and allowed him to help you stand. you weren’t injured, but you were shaking from the stress of what had just happened and your legs nearly buckled underneath you.

he caught you, picking you up in his arms. you didn’t have the effort to object like you normally would whenever he picked you up.

he told the boys he was going to take you to get cleaned up and they okayed it, saying they would handle clean up and for him to focus on making sure you were okay.

you felt bad when he laid you on his bed, it was so nice and neat and you were gross from being locked up for days. he insisted that it was fine as he dug through his wardrobe for the smallest pair of sweatpants he owned before lifting you back in his arms and carrying you to his bathroom.

you were in awe as he sat you on the edge of the tub, who needed a bathroom this fancy? he laughed at your amazement, tugging the hem of your shirt.

“let’s get these off and you can see how nice the tub is, yeah?”

you nodded, allowing him to slip your short over your shoulders. you removed the rest of your clothing yourself while he got the bath ready for you. 

“is this temperature okay, baby?”

you reached a hand into the water and nodded.

“perfect.”

he helped you into the water and you chuckled as he poured some bubble bath solution in.

“you take bubble baths?” you teased.

he scoffed, “are you crazy? of course i take bubble baths.”

he helped you scrub the dirt off of yourself and you couldn’t help but feel bad that he was helping. he was still fully clothed, the fabric getting drenched the more he interacted with you in the water.

when you commented on it, he smirked, “what, you saying you want my clothes off?”

you laughed and hit his arm, causing bubbles to stick to his shirt sleeve.

his eyes widened and his smile grew, “oh, it’s on!”

he leaned forward to tickle you but he missed, falling into the bath beside you.

you threw your head back and laughed as he pushed his hair back and wiped the bubbles from his face.

“ew! i fell into the gross y/n water!”

you went to hit him but he caught your arm, careful not to grab the hurt part of your wrist.

“i’m just kidding” he spoke softly, leaning in to place a gentle kiss to your lips.

he helped you wash up a bit more before draining the tub and taking you to the shower to wash off. although you bathed, that meant you sat in that dirt and grime for the whole time.

he stepped in with you, it’s not like he had anything to lose with his clothing already drenched. you smiled as he poured some of his shampoo into his hands and worked it through your hair, it smelled just like him.

when you were finished, he gave you the pair of sweats he’d picked out earlier and one of his sweatshirts, the one you always asked him to wear so you could steal it. he made sure you were comfy and had something to drink before showering off himself, finally slipping out of the uncomfortably wet garments and stepping into some sweatpants and a sweatshirt of his own. 

he walked back to his bed smiled at the sight of you in it, fast asleep. he couldn’t blame you, you’d had a rough couple of days.

his attention was moved from you to his phone when it started buzzing on the table next to his bed. he frowned, not recognizing the number of the caller. regardless, he answered and put the phone to his ear.

“hello?”

“y/n? oh my god, who are you, where’s y/n?”

it must be your mother. he shook you awake, feeling guilty that he had to wake you when you obviously needed the rest.

“baby, it’s your mom.”

you took the phone from him, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“mom? are you okay?”

a sigh of relief fell from her lips, “i’m fine baby, the police just showed up at my door and told me all of the things your father was involved with. god, i’m so sorry baby, i had no clue. i thought it was just... anyway, they offered me witness protection if i testify against the company, i won’t be charged with anything. i just-“ she cut herself off with a sniffle.

“i know, mom, me too. “ you paused, “did they tell you about dad?”

“yes, sweetheart, they did. they got an anonymous call stating where his body was. looks like he was shot. it’s less than what he deserved.”

you let out a little gasp, “mom!”

“what, baby? it’s true, you and i both know it.”

you sighed, she wasn’t wrong, but he was still your father and her husband, “i guess so.”

“okay sweetheart, it’s late, you should get some sleep. call me if you need anything, okay? i love you.”

“okay. i love you too, mom. goodnight.”

you handed hyunjin his phone and he placed it back on the table before leaning over and placing a kiss to your lips. he crawled under the covers with you, pulling you close to his body.

“i know chan offered you your own room, but what would you say about staying in mine?”

[stxrrywildflower]

intern

pairing - bau team x teen!reader

summary - you intern for garcia at the bau

warnings - mentions of case

word count - ?

note - takes place during season 7 around 2011

you knew penelope from the minute you were born.

both of your parents were extremely close, living just a few short blocks away in san francisco. penelope was only 17 when you were born, you instantly becoming her new favorite person. her mom was even named as your godmother.

when penelope’s parents had died, yours had looked after her even though she did go underground as a hacker. despite how much penelope had changed, she was always there to check up on you and your parents.

and then she had gotten caught by the fbi of all people.

you were far to young to even comprehend what was happening. all you could remember was penelope hugging you tightly before she left. the two of you kept in contact by letters ever since that day.

now 17, you were an expert with computers. penelope was your guide, helping you learn to hack everything and anything as well as your way with all technology.

adding on to that, you were incredibly smart, taking all advanced placement courses at school. one of your classes was an internship, you had to find a local company to spend a certain number of hours a week in order to earn credit.

when penelope hears the news, mostly since she had access to your course schedule, she pulled a couple strings.

before you knew it, you were booked to have an internship with the behavioral analysis unit in washington d.c. under penelope garcia. aaron hotchner would be your ‘boss’ as he was the unit chief.

your parents were incredibly supportive, working out the details for you to stay with penelope for the semester and possibly part of the summer.

with multiple bags packed and a plane ticket booked, you were set to leave for washington d.c. in just a few short days.

____

arriving at quantico, you were more than nervous.

a car was arranged to pick you up from the airport, an agent named anderson picked you up to bring you to the bau. from there, you would be able to see penelope, meet with hotch, and get your proper paperwork and badge.

you could tell from the second you stepped in that your presence was out of place. a teenager was rarely in the bau, nonetheless one few people could connect to someone on the team.

“alright this is the floor you will be working on. garcia’s office is down the hall but through those doors over there is what we call the bullpen. that’s where the main teams desks are as well as where they do briefings,” anderson spoke, giving you a mini-tour.

“and the staring?” you asked. “that will stop soon. once they see you with agent hotchner they’ll back off. as much as i want to defend your case, i can’t say i wouldn’t act the same. this is the first teenager working at the fbi ever,” anderson informed you. “oh wow, didn’t know i was making history.”

“yeah you are, and I'm sure-” he was cut off.

“penny!” you exclaimed, rushing forward to hug the tech analyst, your luggage remaining behind you.

anderson smiled to himself, waving towards garcia before heading back to work.

“i’ve missed you so much sweetie,” penelope grinned, matching your enthusiasm. you hugged her for a little longer, overjoyed to see her after months.

morgan was next in the hallway, hugging you once penelope let go. “hey kid, how are you? school okay?” he questioned, ruffling your hair. “everything’s good derek, i’m just stoked to be here,” you grinned.

the rest of the team, to say the least, was extremely confused. there were a ton of questions running through their heads as the scene played out.

“maybe it’s morgan and garcia’s secret love child,” emily snickered, spencer and j.j. laughing too.

“i can take your bags down to my lair and we can bring them to my place after work,” penelope offered. “and i can take you in to meet hotch,” morgan piped in.

you kept your backpack with you, the three of you splitting up. morgan stayed by your side, guiding you into the bullpen.

the two of you couldn’t have been in the main roof for more than a few minutes before who you assumed was hotch was down to greet you.

“welcome y/n y/l/n, it’s nice to finally meet you,” hotch greeted, extending his hand for you to shake. you took it, nodding with a “nice to meet you too sir.”

“please, call me hotch. we can talk up in my office,” with one final smile towards morgan, you were following the into chief up for your meeting.

“so how do you know garcia?” hotch first asked.

“she’s pretty much my godmother, her mom was my official one before she passed. our parents were friends so i’ve known her for most of my life,” you explained, a smile on your face. “she taught me to hack when i was only 10.”

hotch nodded, “and you’re seventeen, correct? have you committed to any colleges?”

you shook your head no. “not yet sir. i’ve been accepted to a few but haven’t made any final decision. pennelope is pushing me to go to school around here though.”

“i’m sure wherever you go will be a good fit. but now, we have to get into some of the more official stuff. how are you managing school with this inteenship?”

“my teachers moved all of my classes online with virtual lessons and work. penelope and i have already worked out a schedule so i can focus on my work here and do schoolwork at night,” you explained.

hotch was obviously satisfied with his answer so he continued, “now with your internship, we don’t expect you to work cases with us right away. it is mostly just learning under garcia. once you feel comfortable enough and get a recommendation, you can move up.”

you nodded along, taking in the information about your job. “i can take you down to get your badge and then you can meet the team,” hotch offered. “sounds perfect.”

photos and paperwork didn’t take more than twenty minutes. you were back up, a crisp new badge clipped on your jacket, soon enough.

“my team,” hotch called. “conference room.”

with his usual ‘unit chief’ tone, no one bother to argue with him. adding on to your interaction with three out of seven members, changes were obviously happening.

you were seated on top of one of the file cabinets, morgan beside you and penelope next to him. your conversation died down once more people entered the room.

both you and morgan quickly got down, wanting to look at least a little bit professional.

“everyone, i would like you to meet our newest team member, y/n y/l/n. she’ll be interning under penelope and helping out on cases,” hotch inteoduced.

you waved to everyone, a slight smile forming on your face. “from left to right is reid, prentiss, rossi, and j.j. and your already know garcia and morgan,” hotch pointed out each individual member.

“wait i’m not following. you know morgan and garcia?” rossi asked.

“my parents knew penelope’s for a long time. i grew up with penelope pretty much as an older sister. and i know morgan since he’s visited home a few times,” you explained.

the team was already eager to get to know you, having a fresh face around, nonetheless one that was only 17, would definitely be nice. so, for your first day, you were pestered with questions. you already fit well with the team, a new member being added to their little family without problem.

____

your first week was pretty much just learning the basics of how the computers in garcia’s lair actually operated. you had your own little station in one of the corners, a few computers and monitors set up for you to work with.

two weeks in, you had your first real assignment.

it wasn’t by choice, you were supposed to start working with the gory stuff in two weeks, or a month of working there.

you absolutely loved the job with the team. oftentimes, you found yourself hanging out with either emily or j.j. for dinner and time with sergio and or henry. you went on morning runs with morgan, the two of you constantly sending each other new routes to run on. spencer helped you with your homework, planning a schedule for the idea work time like it was no issue. if you ever had a problem with school, he would always help you figure it out.

rossi found a new sense of joy in teaching you to cook. you grew up in san francisco, eating a lot of sea food and not much else. rossi changed that, making you various pasta dishes to try as well as the recipient. and hotch, hotch became an overall mentor and pretty much another dad to you. while spencer helped you with work, hotch would keep you in line with everything.

the latest case was pretty intensive on you and penelope. you did as much work as you could, you still weren’t officially clear to handle crime scene information just yet.

the one time penelope was out of her office getting coffee for the two of you, her office phone had started ringing. you quickly pushed away from your desk, your chair rolling across the floor until you were in front of hers.

“office of the most talented and magical members of the bau here. how may i help you?” you greeted. “man garcia is really rubbing off on you,” you chose to ignore that comment.

“speaking of garcia, where is she?”

you sighed, “getting coffee. what do you need?” hotch was quick to answer, “i need you too look up an unsub. name is roger clark.”

in lightning speed, you clicked away at the computer as you dug up information on the man.

“ah here his is. clark rogers was born to a frank and mary rogers. was a normal child, played sports and graduated with honors. did have a case of aggravated assault in college though he got off free since his dad was a lawyer. oh shoot, his mom died a few weeks ago,” you quickly explained.

something about a possible trigger as barely audible in the background of the call. “we need a location asap,” emily spoke.

“oh i’ve has the location sent from the minute you called,” you leaned back in your chair, most of your work already done.

hotch actually had one of his rare smiles on his face after that. “thanks so much,” he spoke. “stay safe,” you called before hanging up the call.

little did you know, your work was more than helpful. though it was minimal, small details you had provided actually proved to be useful in taking down the unsub. even penelope, who heard news of everything once she returned, was thoroughly impressed. it wasn’t super easy finding out that information as fast as you could.

all you knew is that you were guaranteed a job once you graduated.

☆ ☆ ☆

tags - @tinylumpiaa @sapphicspence @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @change-the-world-someday @ah-blossom @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @kissessforharryyy @garcias-batcave @spenceneedsahug @jjandreidsgirl @zoseph @spencerreidxoxo @marvelxmendes @kissessfordraco @ogmilkis @cm-is-kinda-cool @ssa-morgan @matthewgublerswife @spencerslatte @babyangellee @agentshortstacc

[herstarburststories]

Merry... Birthday?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: You love christmas, but Dean doesn’t. Yet, he might make an exception for your birthday this year.

A/N: This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr​ ‘s secret fic exchange. My secret Santa was @katymacsupernatural​. Hey, honey! I hope you enjoy this and happy birthday! You deserve double presents, so here’s mine. All mistakes are mine!

Divider by @talesmaniac89 !

You loved Christmas.

It was probably a nostalgic longing for your long gone urban life. Just in the same way you’d still catch yourself looking through the news for election results or feel your stomach twist if you didn’t eat homemade food at least twice a week. You were dead to the government and certainly spent more on the road than in a home. Besides, you had met up with God enough times to know him. All the encounters and screaming and unapologetic abandonment should make you want to throw any baby Jesus against a wall or even climb on a Christmas tree just to shout about all the hoaxes so perfectly molded in patterns through our brains like braids.

Yet, something about you loved christmas. 

The pretty lights always shining, it didn’t matter where you go. For once, all the city-- everything would be entirely made of light. Their incandescent glow always companishing each person, either it was in an once treacherous alley or only to make the kids' grin bigger as they watched them among the busy streets with wide eyed gazes. The confusion in the kitchen that often ended up with huffs bursting into chuckles between the smell of meals that were too much and would make a room for leftovers for the rest of the week. How everything seemed to be made only of happiness, and nothing could ever cut through those water; all the knives were suddenly swords for kids to play and no white gun. In Christmas, a house became a kingdom for every heart. Everything was good and felt through the skin to the bone, like a single glimpse, a hidden day of what would be paradise.

That was how you were raised, at least. The Winchesters didn’t share the same mindset, no. While you grew up with decorating the tree, they were hiding bodies in the dim light. Leftovers were all through their whole year, and Christmas was described as good or not with one single criteria: snow streets. They had to take one? Annoying date. They didn’t and there was eggnog? Bearable Jesus’s birthday.

Yet, you attempted to make the bunker the more festive possible: buying a bunch of christmas lights, cookies’ ingredients and even a small nativity scene. Your attempts to enjoy the date’s niciities ended up with Sam breaking his arm after crashing on the ground because you insisted on him putting the lights in a place higher than his age, not to mention the burned cookies that looked more like tiny monsters than gingerbread men.

Your parents used to make this look so much easier.

Although the youngest Winchester understood a little more about the concept of holidays, a believer in the good until the very end, his brother didn’t share the idea. You couldn’t say you were surprised. Dean just had two barely normal christmas in his life: one when he was dying and one with Lisa and Ben. Both situations made it to his heart only to shatter from the inside.

‘’Baby Jesus?’’ Dean snorted, shaking his head at the sight of you adjusting the weird little dolls in the nativity. He placed another ruined cook in his mouth, speaking with his mouth full next: ‘’We have the son of Lucifer, guess that counts.’’

‘’Don’t say that once Jack gets home.’’ You rolled your eyes, turning to face the oldest Winchester with your hands on your hips. How could he eat that? You couldn’t even make it a bite and Sam only had half of those. ‘’And stop eating those. They are burned.’’

‘’I’ve had worse.’’ He remarked, adding another cookie to his mouth. You grimaced, wondering for a brief moment how your boyfriend could be simultaneously the guy who saved the world and a man with the taste of a five years old.

‘’Yeah. But I’m the one who has to hear you whining about your bellyache later.’’

‘’I don’t whine--’’ You arched your eyebrows at his statement, making Dean huff in agreement. ‘’That was once and because of Sam’s weird ass vegan bacon.’’

‘’You acted like you were dying.’’

‘’My tongue was!’’

‘’So get this.’’ Sam’s voice interrupted your childish argument, catching the attention of both hunters like a shiny object did to a cat. ‘’Apparently we got an earlier christmas gift.’’

‘’What is it?’’ You asked, approaching the table.

‘’Three teenagers disappeared in the forest, all personal objects left behind.’’ Sam explained as Dean scratched out his neck to glance at his brother’s computer screen. Nothing like a case in Colorado. ‘’The authorities think it’s a serial killer. But one of the girls, Kayla Wodson, said she saw a weird, skinny giant take her friends.’’

‘’Ho ho ho and three bodies.’’ Dean clapped his hands together with a wry curve of lips. ‘’Alright. Let’s hit the road-- Wait, wait, wait. Where do you think you are going?’’

You were standing beside Dean while Sam raised to his feet, ready to pack his bags. Dean, nonetheless, was quicker than his brother, soon putting himself in front of Sammy; hands protectively standing in front of the youngest’s chest to keep him from moving any further.

He shook his head with a scoff. ‘’Dude, come on.’’

‘’Not happening, Sammy. You got a broken arm.’’ You mumbled a sorry along Dean’s big brother speech, to which Sam replied with a comprehensive smile. ‘’Y/N and I take care of it.’’

‘’He’s right. Must be the first time in his life, but he is.’’ Dean turned his head, furrowing his eyebrows at you ‘’Don’t worry. It’s just a wendigo anyway. ‘’

‘’Okay. Just…’’

‘’Don’t forget the fireblazer. As if your brother would miss an opportunity to use it.’’ You scrunched up your noise, causing a chortle out of Sam while Dean commented something about grabbing the specific instrument and walked away. ‘’Maybe you could call Eileen. Ask her to help you to back some christmas cookies.’’

Sammy shook his head at your wiggling brows. ‘’That doesn’t sound as sexy for me as it does for you.’’

Dean Winchester was good with numbers.

Not the urban numerical sense of the deal, of course. He almost didn’t make it in sixth grade with useless geometry and all that, and he still used his fingers to count when he had to deal with an equation. No, his good and quick way with numbers was easier, intrinsic to his head.

How many years since mom died? Seventeen. How many people did he have to save? All of them. How many years had he left? Less than he once owned.

Hunter math was simpler, and was all he really needed since he was four years old, running from the fire with his baby brother in his arms-- which brought him to the second section of his particular geometry: birthdays and death anniversaries. Dean never, ever forgot any special date. Those were his own holidays, the only worth celebrating and remembering. His wishes, grief, and cherishment were reserved for the people he loved, not some celestial assholes who saw his life like a book.

Therefore, his mind went on a golden rush for your day as soon as the Wendigo hunt took more than you both expected. You wouldn't be able to make it home before your birthday, which would be ending shortly, a matter of two or three hours. His inner engineers were useful tonight, in his vision, useful enough to make those sappy movies jealous. While you were washing some guts and leaves away, Dean went to the nearest convenience store. His long arms nesting a bunch of stuff he never dared to touch in years. The cashier with drowsy eyes and escarlet Santa hat seemed bored with his shopping, probably because she saw an uncountable amount of people buying the same things over and over. He couldn’t blame her for the suburban exhaustion. If anything, it was a small comfort for his war orbs to see and be a part of a scene so mundane.

He hustled back to the dive motel room, singing in relief to himself once he stepped in and heard you singing Christmas Tree Farm while the water rushed in. He grimaced at himself for recognizing that Taylor Swift song. How couldn’t he? That woman was 80% of all you heard everyday. Man, he was whipped.

Tilting his head back in reality, he started organizing in clumsy manners of putting everything in place for you. His bruised hands touching so carefully the fragile ornaments to make the motel room with grubby walls and weird black stan on the floor that only seemed to grow a little more like you.

You, the woman who put up with him, who laughed at his stupid jokes, and who watched Scooby Doo, all snuggled up to him every friday. You, the woman who switched from AC/DC to Taylor Swift and then Eric Clapton. You, the one who understood his job and helped him to wash off some of the blood on his hand and never got scared of how red the water could get. You, the girl who rolled her eyes at his first attempt of flirting and now stole his french fries and kissed his lips as if he was worth being delicate with. You, his breathing, his true holiday, his only act of faith besides Sammy.

Dean pressed his teeth against his bottom lip, looking up and down his little manual work. Part of him said it was ridiculous, he surely would make a lot of fun of Sam if he did that to a chick. Yet, mostly he was proud. He wanted you to like it. It wasn’t even near to what you deserved, but it was a piece of it. It was what the Winchester could give you, and that would be hopefully, enough.

While Dean was caught in the crossroad of judging and admiring his surprise, you left the shower with a towel wrapped around your head and lips mumbling Cocaine. Your feet glued to the ground once you witnessed what was in front of you: the room was decorated with christmas lights, a tiny plastic tree on the table, right beside a pie with candle on the top and two cup of what smelled like hot cocoa.

‘’Dean…’’ Your tender tone brought him back from his traineck thoughts as he turned around to glance at you. You chortled in astonishment as he raised his eyes and said surprise! ‘’What’s this?’’

‘’Well, it’s your birthday.’’ He shrugged, scooting closer to you with a smirk. Dean smoothly wrapped his arms around your waist, yours instantly resting around his neck. ‘’In my defense, they just had christmas stuff. Blame your parents for having you close to Jesus’ special day.’’

‘’Christmas stuff include pie and not cake?’’ Your brows knitted together, a heartwarming smile on your lips as you watched his expression marked by multicolored little lights. He smelled like something was a blaze, and you knew that was for standing too close to the candle and not for burning a body this time. Small changes.

He scoffed humorously. ‘’You like pie better anyway.’’ He nodded at the carnival-like situation around you two. Dean Winchester wasn’t the kind of man who got insecure, but you could catch a perk of brand nervous hesitation as his green eyes shot you an anxious glance. ‘’Did you like it?’’

‘’I loved it.’’ You pulled cheeks dimpled with joy that was kissed by Dean’s own smiling lips. The kiss was so gentle, it was his own palpable light hearted emotion. You being happy in his arms. It had been so long since he felt he could be enough, he could make someone happy. But you were right there. As you pulled away, another short kiss was given between playful words: ‘’That’s what I call a christmas miracle.’’

‘’Shush.’’ He leaned in and pecked your lips. As Dean pulled back, he couldn’t help but watch around with the pride of Hubris. His glance went back to you, a lopsided grin on his face. God, you loved that smile. You loved that man. ‘’So I added some whiskey to the hot cocoa. We could drink some, eat the pie, and see if those lights make a good improvise rope. What do you tell me?’’

All you could do was kiss him again.

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[soft-persephone]

Do You Remember Yesterday

Maxwell Lord x Black!Female OC

WC: 3.1k

Summery: “You were always better than her. Nice, kinder, warmer, more real. You saw me as who I was and not something to manipulate. If I wasn’t so wrapped up in a lie, surely I would have chosen you.” He was trying to sound confident and sure. Reassuring even.

But all he could hear was a lost desperate voice looking for answers. Some form of comfort. Standing up, he shook his head violently to scare away tears. He looked at the prettiest sad girl he’s ever seen in his life. A beautiful black girl who deserves someone to be there for her as she wanted to be for everyone else. 

“Can you tell me why you’ve been working at your old cubicle and not your office as the CEO of Ankh Tech?”

Amani fumbled with her hands for a second, not looking up, her mouth in a thin line. She wasn't even sure if counseling was  helping at this point. How many times was she going to have to tell the same story over and over again.

She took a deep breath and gritted her teeth. “Every time I close my eyes I still see Charlotte on the floor of that office.” She let out a shaky breath before continuing. “I thought she was dead. I thought she died,” she fidgeted with her hands, ”and I know she’s not, but I don't like remembering any of it.”

“Knowing and being aware of a problem is the first step to getting better. I’ll talk with Mr. Chandler about how you need to take baby steps into your new position, but You need to know that this job is going to be different than any other managerial position. “ 

Her tone was light but firm. Nothing in the slightest was rude or condescending, but Amani didn’t want to hear any of it. She needed to accuse  her of it anyway because of how it made her feel.

“The office isn’t a big deal! I don’t need some big fancy office to prove how good I am at my job!” Tears started welling in her eyes and she hated it. She hated how small she felt. How weak and helpless it made her feel. 

“But you're the boss,’ The blond ponytail interrupted her. 

Amani didn’t say anything. 

“You are not only a boss but the face and symbol of this company.”

“.But I…..What if...I don’t want to let anyone down. My mother, Pops,” She choked out a sob, “I don't want to betray Charlotte and now she’s not here anymore.”

Amani flinched when she felt a hand brush her cheek. 

She was crying for real this time.

“What Charlotte did, she did to herself, sweetie,” She handed Amani a tissue, “You are not responsible for Charlotte’s actions.

~

“Maaaaniii.”

Amani looked up to the voice singing her name in surprise.

“Pops,” She questioned,” What are you doing here?” She walked from behind her desk to give her step dad a hug. 

“I heard you moved a few of your things in the new office, and I wanted to come and tell you how proud of you I am for everything you’ve done and for making progress.”

“Pops you don't have to be so dramatic, I only worked in here for an hour.”

“So what are you doing in here now, hmmm.”

“Just turning the computer on and giving the office a test run for when I'm ready.”

It's been three weeks since everything’s happened and Amani finally decided to take back at least some of the control she had over her lie. It was nothing compared to how she used to plan out every little step and move, but it was something and it made her feel better. 

“I know it's hard trying to get back to normal,” he grabbed her shoulders into an embrace, like she would disappear at any given moment, “I asked someone very close to the heart  in our family, and I Hope you give him another chance. I know he’s broken your heart in some way, but you can't go through this alone right now,and no one has helped you better at time like this than him.”  

As if called by some beacon, he open the door, “Amani.” He said nothing else, his brow furrowed. He had the nerve to look worried about her, but she pushed that aside. 

Her heart dropped to her stomach. 

“MAX!” she gasped in surprise as a tall broad figure pulled her in for a hug. A massive hand cradled her head to his chest and another wrapped around her. She could almost cry as the familiar scent of a spicy musk wood flooded her senses.

“I heard what happened.” His grip on her tightened before he let her go. The gesture gave her a chance to take in the man she once knew as a boy. Gone was his jet black ruffled hair, now replaced with a blown out and highly styled blonde brown. But those eyes felt like home. Her old Max was still in the face of this unfamiliar man in front of her. After everything he did to recently split him up, here he was, but only because her father was meddling and thrust him upon her and back into her life without her consent. 

His words struck something deep and hollowed within her. 

She blinked back unexpected tears. That line was the story of her life. No more ‘hellos’ or ‘how are you’. It was always about what happened and people promising to be there for her, call me when you can, let me know what I can do to help, or her least favorite, a frown and look of pity as they said nothing and jumped to their own conclusions before moving on. 

 “I haven't seen you in so long and now I'm embarrassed to say I would always think of you when you're not around.” 

Amani could only laugh. Most people only know a piece of Max from how he carries himself in the public eye such as on tv or interviews, but she’s seen every part of hin through youth to the people they were now. 

“If only you would have thought of me just as much before you attempted to ruin our relationship.”

He laughed loudly at her little quip. The sound vibrated off his chest and filled the room. She wanted to hear as much of that as possible. He didn’t laugh much when they were younger. She was surprised he was laughing at all, but they had to lie. They had to lie to convince the people around them that the finality of their relationship wouldn’t break such an obvious bond between them, but neither of them could hardly define what they wanted. 

“Why don’t we go somewhere and talk about everything?”

“That would be nice, Max” she replied softly.

~

Maxwell didn’t want to let her go when he hugged her. She looked thinner than she did in all her instagram and facebook pictures, that he shamelessly stalked for weeks when he got the call from his temporary ex-girlfriend’s father about her. Her eyes were swollen from crying and somehow hollow at the same time, bloodshot red, and tired.

Charlotte had almost taken everything from her and he hated the woman even more for it. He wanted to get straight to the point and talk about everything, but he knew Mani wouldn’t be ready for anything that intense at her fragile state. 

“You have the ultimate power of a company in the palm of your hand, and the first thing you do is put a specialty coffee shop in the lobby.” he playfully crossed his arms, “explain to me how that's good business.”

“Coffee is just as important to me as my job, and it’s way more practical than a shitty juice bar.”

Amani’s skin was too dark for her to blush, but Maxwell always knew her tell. She would either scrunch her nose, an awkward attempt to stop smiling that only made her smile more, or quickly look to the side to avoid eye contact with a hand covering her mouth. But his favorite was when she did both. Just like she was now.

“Charlotte always had a weird thing for juice and smoothies.”

The mention of Charlotte made her eyes gloss over for a moment and it made him want to rip himself in half.

“I figured we could take it easy today,” he quickly changed the subject, “I’ll shadow you as you go about your day as if i’m not even here.”

“Okay,” he waited patiently as she twirled her head with a hand on her chin in thought. The gesture was making his toes curl in his shoes. How the youngest Chandler was now the face of the family legacy, “I’m okay with that,” she started slowly, “only if you promise to be quiet for most of the day.”

Maxwell opened his mouth in shock. Not even remotely sure what to say. 

“Max, don't be like that. You know how much of a talker you’ve always been.”

“Are you aware of who I am?”

“Ooooh,” She dramatically wiggled her fingers as she raised her hands, “You’ve been on tv a few times. Big deal”

“I guess that’s a no,” He smirked and propped one leg over the other, “ I am a powerful and equally feared man. While you were in your sophomore year of college trying not to fail Economics 101, I was building the foundation of my own empire. No one has told me to shut up since I entered the field.”

“Well, I wish they had you cocky bastard.” she grinned. 

“I’ll have you know that I--”

“Ms. Chandler?” a barista at the newly innovative indoor cafe interrupted him, “ are you ready to start cupping the new roasts for the season?”

Maxwell chuckled at the way her nose crinkled at being called Ms. Chandler.

“Absolutely, you can bring some for this gentleman as well.”

Maxwell waited for the girl to leave before he said anything.

“Don’t ever call me a gentleman in public” he scoffed.

“I can call you an old man if you want me to.” she cheekily replied.

Coming back with a tray, soon there were several small cups in front of them and they were given large round spoons. 

Wasting no time, Amani carefully dipped each spoon in every cup before taking small sips from each, then writing a few things on an ipad before going to the next. 

“This one right here, the single origin, it's good but I feel the flavour profile isn’t that interesting. This blend however would be perfect for a House Roast this season. Either of these other two are fine or any other blend option, and I already know we talked about keeping the espresso blend the same as often as possible.”

“Do you want all of that on the website?”

“Definitely, people like transparency when it comes to everything they eat and drink these days. Give it a few months, but I want to start selling things online. The coffee market on the internet is pretty impressive these days.”

“Anything else, boss?” The girl bobbled off happily.

“No, that should be all for today Stephanie. I’m pretty sure we’ll be ready for this place to open up on Monday.”

Maxwell stared at her thoughtfully. 

“You're in the coffee business?” he said in disbelief. “Since when?”

“A month.” Mani pursed her lips.

“Since when did you learn so much about coffee?” 

She was incredible. She was mentally put through the wringer and her life was almost torn into shambles, but her saving grace, the one thing she could do without fail was run a small budding coffee shop.

“I've always been kinda picky with coffee, you know that.”

She was going to be the death of him. Yes, he remembers her talking about coffee every now and then, but that didn’t mean he knew she was some self taught coffee expert. 

“Well if you can do this, you can run Ankh Tech.”

“Those are two ocmpletely different things.”

“What about Ankh do you not understand?”

“Well.. there's nothing I don’t understand it's just that---”

“Then you can run Ankh Tech.” He said with finality.

Getting up he straightened his clothes. 

“Let’s go upstairs and you can prove to me whether you can do this or not.”

~

Maxwell quietly made his way to the Chandler manor pool. It was the second year anniversary between him and his girlfriend, and what better way to prove how great of a boyfriend he was than to surprise her with a git? 

He was wrong.

Seeing his girlfriend on a pool recliner with the random poolboy with one hand sliding up and down between her thighs with another fondling one of her exposed nipples was not surprising. 

Especially not surprising also seeing a bag of various pills nearby, just like the small bag of coke he discovered in her room last month.

He convinced himself the drugs didn’t bother him. He believed her when she said she was planning on quitting after she met him. How he made her better, How she was not only doing it for herself but for us. 

He ignored the revelation at the words after she met him because that would mean she was on drugs when they first started dating. But he loved her right. So there's no need to get mad at her because love conquers all.

Never again.

Without even making a fuss or yelling or letting her know he was there, he turned around. Slamming the door behind him. He stomped up the stairs and turned around the corner, making his way to the fancy home theatre. 

The new home theatre, where he knew he would find Charlotte’s best friend as well as sister. It was recently renovated for her because after Mr. Chandler’s late wife passed, he had remarried a woman with a daughter. When asking her what her heart's most desire, no matter how expensive, would be to make her feel more welcome at her grand new home, she shyly declared a home theatre would be nice. He was asuming shyly because that’s all he’s ever seen her as, whether in this house, with Charlotte somewhere, or at college.  

Curled up in a giant leather chair, she was surprisingly not watching Star Wars for the millionth time, but a movie he had never seen or heard of. He marched to the front, making sure she heard every step, but once he got there, he was unsure of what to do. 

He wanted to make her mad, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't channel his inner asshole, and stand directly in front of the screen and block her view. He couldn’t raise his voice at her, throw the remote across the room, or even toss over her bowl of snacks.

Defeated, he sighed loudly.

“What's wrong?” She paused the movie and looked towards him with undivided attention. 

“You want an anniversary gift?” He sneered. 

“Here,” he threw down the bouquet of flowers and the giant bag in her lap before flopping in the recliner next to hers.

He watched her slowly opening the gift. All he could afford was a NYU sweatshirt to his and Charlotte's respective school, flowers, chocolate. There was a surprise necklace, but he could easily return that and get his hard earned money back.

“She would have loved this.” Mani’s voice was small. But he was glowering at her and his standoffish attitude probably wasn’t helping either. Her lip quivered.

“I should have told you about the drugs. It's my fault I let it get this far between you two and now you're hurt because of it.” She half turned her body from him and looked away. 

He couldn't believe this. Before saying anything, he let the silence grow between them. He silently cursed to himself when he saw she was wearing an oversized shirt and probably really short sleeping shorts, but he personally hoped she just had underwear underneath the expanse of the shirt. He shamelessly stared at the generous amount of skin, she was unaware of what revealing that amount of skin in front of a guy meant. How much it meant to him. He didn't feel bad because he was  single at the moment and the idea of hurting Charlotte’s feelings by forming a relationship with her new younger sister didn't seem like a half bad idea at the moment. 

Indulging in the secret fantasy that he’s been hiding for so long isn’t a bad idea anymore.

“You're unbelievable.” She turned quickly at him in shock but he didn’t give her a chance to reply. “Your sister acts like a complete bitch not only to me, but to you as well, and you blame yourself.”

“That’s not--- ”

“Then why do you act like it was you I found with the pool boy’s tongue halfway down your throat?”

 “I knew about the drugs for a while, but it's getting old taking care of her because of it,” He laughed bitterly, “but I believed her when she said she loved me and that it was just something that I could help her through. 

He looked into her eyes and hoped she saw the answer she was looking for in his.  “I drew the line at her dragging her baby sister into it. You're not responsible for Charlotte.

“You still don't deserve it,” she shook her head adamantly, “and I could have stopped it.” Her voice was shaking and he fought down a wave of rage that he knew would only make it worse.

He stood up and kneeled in front of her. “Put the sweatshirt on,” he hid the pleading in his voice. Pretending she wasn’t looking at him with a confused look, face flushed from crying.

Tears were flowing freely down her face and he couldn’t take it. All he could do was blame Charlotte. 

As gently as he could he wiped the tears from her face with his hand. Her breath hitched at his touch and he ignored how the sound filled some dark pit of his body with warmth. He carefully lifted the sweatshirt and bunched it together so he could put her head through the shirt. He helped her put her arms through sleeves and then wiped more of her tears. He was close now and he didn’t ever want to break away.

“You were always better than her. Nice, kinder, warmer, more real. You saw me as who I was and not something to manipulate. If I wasn’t so wrapped up in a lie, surely I would have chosen you.” He was trying to sound confident and sure. Reassuring even.

Butt all he could hear was a lost desperate voice looking for answers. Some form of comfort. Standing up, he shook his head violently to scare away tears. He looked at the prettiest sad girl he’s ever seen in his life. A beautiful black girl who deserves someone to be there for her as she wanted to be for everyone else. 

He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips on her forehead. Staying a moment he savored the feeling of her skin along his lips before brushing them along a slow and tender path to her lips. He wouldn;t dare kiss them. Not right now, but that wouldn’t stop him from getting close to them. 

He could stay there forever. 

She didn't push him away and he would stay as long as he could before she started to hate him.

“See you around, Mani.” 

After brushing a thumb on her soft full lips, he stood up and walked out. Leaving Chandler's Manor with tears on his face and an empty heart.

~~~~~~

I am a black writer. I have lurked in this fandom for about a year and a half. You may have seen me like something a few times, but here I am contributing loud and proud. Hello, everyone and welcome to my corner of tumblr!!!

[cherrybracelets]

Freefall

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

word count: 15.3k | warnings: smut!!!! alcohol mention, murder mention, rape mention, lots of typical cm violence! 

inspired by: its called freefall by rainbow kitten surprise (i highly recommend listening to this song before or during reading!)

Anyway, you say you’re too busy saving everybody else to save yourself / And you don’t want no help, oh well / That’s the story to tell

ok i have put my blood sweat and tears in this lamfkndksjfj this has been my wip for almost 3 weeks this is my entry for @veraiconcos​ fic challenge!! her prompt fit so perfectly with this fic so i am so excited to share it with you guys. this is by far my most challenging piece and the one i worked the longest on. i really hope you all love it, feedback is much appreciate. i am tagging some moots to signal boost this, i hope u dont mind 

Aaron- 

This woman killed my dad. They said you’d be able to help. Please find her. 

Aaron ran his fingertips over the letter one more time, feeling the depth of the pen, the engravement of each letter into the crisp stationary. He reread the words for a thousandth time, wondering if this time he could discover who actually sent the letter. But unfortunately, just like the past times, there was nothing to indicate who the sender was. The only other thing in the picture was a photograph of a young woman, the person Aaron believed was the murderer. Her face was mostly covered, and he was almost certain the short black bob that sat on her head was a wig. There was nothing about the photo that would help identify her, but on the back of the photo was a date- May 7th 2020, and a city, Sante Fe, NM.

He continued to stare at it, hoping some new information would pop out at him this time. But there was nothing, and he knew if he wanted to find whoever was responsible for this crime, he would need to involve the team. Whoever sent this clearly only wanted Aaron involved, even addressing him personally as Aaron and not Agent Hotchner.. Who could this person be? And who sent him Aaron’s way? 

“You’re here early,” JJ hesitated, walking through the doors of the BAU to begin her day.

“Yeah… I’ve got kind of a… thing?” Aaron stammered over his words, trying to decide how he should go about this. 

“What’s going on, Hotch?” 

“Come take a look at this. It was on my desk yesterday.” Hotch waved JJ over to him, holding the letter tightly in hands. He handed it to her hesitantly, still not feeling comfortable sharing with the rest of the team. It could be a prank, a practical joke, somebody just trying to waste his time. But how did it find it’s way onto his desk? Who would be messing with him like this? 

“Was there an envelope?” JJ asked, staring at the words on the paper. 

“Yes, addressed to me, but no return address. It seems like it was hand delivered.” 

“The handwriting looks like a teenagers, how would he have made it all the way from New Mexico?”

“Maybe somebody else delivered it?”

Aaron and JJ’s attention was quickly taken away when Spencer and Derek walked through the doors, their loud voices cracking through the quiet air of the BAU. They were arguing about something pointless, as they usually did. Aaron felt his head throbbing as the day started to begin, unsure of how much longer he’d be able to make it without some strong coffee. 

“JJ, keep this between us for now. I’ll bring it to Garcia, see if she can find anything worth investigating. I don’t want to bring it to the team unless I’m sure we have a case.” 

“Understood.” JJ smiled kindly at him, a look he was all too familiar with. Ever since Haley died, it felt like everyone was constantly walking on eggshells around him. Everyone felt bad, and they did whatever he asked without complaint. From a boss standpoint, it was nice, not having to argue your decisions to your team. But, they were more than his team. They were his friends, and he felt he lost them the same day he lost Haley. 

Aaron greeted Spencer and Derek quickly, not wanting to get pulled into whatever discussion they were having. He was holding onto the letter tightly, afraid of losing it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he just had a feeling about it. Like he had stumbled onto something huge, and whatever Garcia could find out would lead them to something unbelievable. 

“Hey, Garcia. Any chance I could have you work on something… private, for now?” Aaron stood in the doorway of her office, all of the bright screens making him wince. His headache was only getting worse as the day went on. 

“Of course, sir. Is everything okay?” She looked worried, for sure hoping that whatever secret task she was performing for him had nothing to do with Haley. Although he knew she would never say anything, he could tell she was worried about him. 

“I need you to check deaths in Santa Fe, NM from May 5th - May 9th. Specifically look for men with teenage sons.”

“Just homicides?” 

“No, any deaths. And see if you find anything suspicious.”

“Alright…” Penelope said, furrowing her brows in confusion. “It might take a bit. Santa Fe’s a big city.”

“Just get back to me when you can, Garcia.” Aaron smiled slightly at the technical analyst, before leaving quietly. His head was begging him for caffeine, or Advil, or a drink, even though it was barely 9 in the morning. 

He walked quietly back to his office, not talking to any of his team, closing the door behind him as he got inside. There was a sick feeling in his stomach, most likely caused by the cigarette he snuck this morning on an empty stomach. He paced uncomfortably, dry swallowing an Advil he found in the back of his desk drawer. He knew it would take Garcia a while

to get his information, but he was feeling exceptionally frustrated and impatient. He started to walk towards the door, feeling the need to to pester his analyst to work quicker, but as he opened it, JJ stood pleasantly in the door. 

“We got a case, boss,” she smiled, waving an envelope in the air. 

“Alright, let’s get to the conference room.” Aaron closed the door to office, following his Agent into the annex. He felt sick as he took his seat, not ready for whatever horror was about to be presented. Some days he felt like giving up, like throwing in the towel. He has given this job everything he had, and what did he get in return? 

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Aaron and the team left an hour later for their newest destination, solving the case within 3 days. They were headed back to DC on the jet when he got a call from Garcia. It was rare she would call him personally if they were not working a case, so he knew it must’ve been about the letter. He waited a moment before answering, anxious about what her news could be. What if she found nothing, and this was the end of the line? 

“Hello, sir. I wanted to call as soon as I could.” She sounded nervous, a tone of confusion in her voice. 

“What’s going on, Garcia?” 

“Well, it’s about the letter. I found something… interesting.” 

“Do you think we could have a case?”

“It’s a high possibility, sir.” 

“Alright. Can you patch into the computer and share with the team. I’d like to bring them in on this as well.”

“Sounds good, see you in a moment.”

Aaron hung the phone up, walking back to the main part of the jet and back to the rest of the team. They were spread out, all enjoying the calming feeling of a solved case. Spencer and JJ were sleeping, Emily and Derek both with headphones in and Rossi reading a book. He hated to bother them, hated to disturb their peace they all deserved. But that was the job- there was no peace. They all had to endure constant chaos so that innocent people didn’t have to. 

Aaron turned on the lights of the jet, alarming his team and causing several groans of frustration. 

“What’s going on, Hotch?” Emily asked in desperation, her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light. 

“I’m sorry to bother everyone, but I think we might have a new case.” Aaron looked around the room, slowly watching the faces of his friends change from their relaxed state to the intensity of a profiler. 

“Is this about… the thing from a few days ago?” JJ asked quietly, not wanting to bring it up if it wasn’t the case. 

“The letter, yes.” 

“Hello, my sleepy friends. I am sorry to bother you, but I have stumbled across something interesting that I believe requires your attention. Uh, Hotch… would you like to…” she trailed off, looking around for her superior to explain how they ended up here. 

“I received a letter a few days ago… someone asking us to look into the death of their father. It was anonymous, there was a picture along with it but it still wasn’t enough to do much on my own. So, I handed over what I had to Garcia and…” Aaron trailed off, realizing now he hadn’t even asked Penelope what she got before bringing the rest of the team in. 

“I guess that’s where I come in. So, as per our humble leader, I searched for deaths of men on the given dates with teenage sons, and as I expected, that list was quite large.” 

“Why teenage sons?” Derek asked, still trying to fill in the gaps of information. 

“The letter was clearly written by a young boy, no older than 16 was my guess,” JJ added, explaining her conclusion to the team. 

“Garcia, were you able to narrow down the list?” Aaron asked, desperately wanting to know what she found. 

“Well, I got rid of anyone whose death was expected. People who were sick or in the hospital, with underlying medical conditions, et cetera et cetera. Once we narrowed it down to deaths that were true accidents, I had a list of three.” 

“How do we know this isn’t just a prank?” Rossi asked. It was a fair question, a question he frequently asked himself as well. 

“Ah, well, if it was a prank I wouldn’t have found out what I did…” 

“That looks like the face of someone who’s about to tell me I’m not going home tonight,” Derek laughed, turning to Emily, who rolled her eyes. 

“Unfortunately it does seem like there’s a case here. One of the men that I flagged as ‘Could Be A Murder Victim’ has a… bad past.” One thing that Aaron always admired about Penelope is how she always managed to speak with such lightness, no matter how heavy the content of her words. “42-year old Derek Hood was killed on May 7th, ruled as an accidental drug overdose. There was some chatter that it may have been suicide, but there was no note and the family insisted he wouldn’t have killed himself.” 

“So what makes you think it was murder?” Spencer asked.

“Alright, get this. Our man Jason was on trial two years ago for the rape of three different 16 year old girls. It was declared a mistrial, unfortunately, after all three of the girls refused to testify at his trial.”

“Is it possible he threatened them? This could be a revenge killing, if that was the case,” Emily added. 

“Ah, I thought that too, my friend. But all three of the girls are now in college and far, far away from Sante Fe. So, that was kind of a dead end.”

“What about the parents?” Aaron questioned. 

“We think alike, sir. All three of their families still reside in Santa Fe, and three weeks before Jason’s death, all three couples withdrew $15,000 cash from their banks. One family stated it was for a pool, the other for a car, and the last family stated it was for bathroom renovations.” 

“Were any of those projects completed, Garcia?” 

“To the best of my knowledge, no.” 

“So this is what I think it is, then,” Rossi asked, looking up towards Aaron for confirmation. 

“It’s most likely a hitman, yes.” Aaron looked around at his team, a feeling of worry drowning him. Hitmen were exceptionally dangerous, and so were the routes to get to them. It was an extremely well protected underground business, and the chances of catching one successfully, with no one hurt, were very slim. 

“Wait, but our unsub is a woman. The photo very clearly showed a female, and even in the letter, the boy addresses her as ‘This woman.’” 

“Could we see the picture, Garcia?” Aaron asked, staring at the monitor as he awaited the photo. 

“Maybe they’re dressing as a woman to distract any possible witnesses?” Rossi added. The photo then popped up on the monitor, the same hidden person that was ingrained in Aaron’s brain. He couldn’t forget her, her shielded face, cheap wig, perfect body… 

“That is definitely a woman, guys. You can’t fake that body…” Derek laughed, causing a wave of eye rolls and a slight shove of disgust from Emily. 

“A female hitman… that is exceptionally rare.” 

“Maybe she’s killing for justice? I mean, Jason was a piece of shit. And he somehow got away with his crimes, maybe this is punishment,” Derek added, always the first to try to come up with some sort of explanation. 

“Why would she charge the parents almost fifty grand, though? That clearly makes it about money,” Emily rebutted. 

“Garcia, is there any way we can find out who they gave that money too?” Aaron asked, hoping for a quick and easy answer, but he knew nothing was easy at this job. 

“Since they took it out in cash, there’s no way to trace it, sir.” 

“We’ll need to talk to the parents.” 

“They won’t say anything, you know how that goes,” JJ said. 

“We’ll target one of them, whichever is the most unstable. Promise them immunity. That usually works in situations like this.” Aaron looked at the team, noticing how tired they were. He knew how bad they needed to go home, sleep in their own beds, wash their hair with something other than hotel shampoo. But this was big, he could feel it. And they probably did, as well. It was their life, they were all aware of how crazy this career path could be. But, just because he knew that, it didn't make it any easier on Aaron when he had to push them to their limit.  “We need to turn the plane around to Santa Fe. If this person is local, it’s best that we’re on the scene.” 

“Can we at least stop home so I can get some new clothes?” JJ groaned, looking at the team in desperation for support. 

“Fine. Can we be back in the air in two hours?” 

“We can make that work,” Spencer agreed. 

“Alright. Thanks, guys.” 

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Santa Fe was hot. The kind of hot that made it impossible to breathe, and your clothes felt like they had melted into your skin. Aaron could feel his skin on fire, burning hotter and hotter as he stood under the desert sun. Emily stood next to him, glistening in a thin layer of sweat. The two of them stared closely at a house across the street, taking in every detail. 

“You ready?” Emily asked, her voice cracking through the quiet air like a whip. 

“Uh… yeah,” Aaron stuttered, his brain feeling off. He had a feeling whoever this person was, she wasn’t in Sante Fe. This was a big operation that they had stumbled upon, and he had a bad feeling about the way it would end up. 

Aaron followed Emily to the door, feeling exceptionally guilty as they entered the front yard of a family whose lives had been destroyed- and all they were there to do was destroy them further. He knew they only did what they did to avenge their daughter- and he understood. Sometimes he wondered if he should’ve done the same thing with Foyet.

“Are you alright, Hotch? I don’t mean to overstep, but you don’t seem like yourself,” Emily questioned, stopping in her tracks before they made their presence  known to the family. 

“Just have a bad feeling about this one, I guess,” he responded, rubbing his head with his thumb and forefinger. “Let’s get this over with…” 

“Aye aye, sir.” 

The two of them walked to the front door of the small house, knocking slightly quietly on the white painted wood of the door. An older man opened the door, immediately tensing up as he saw the two of them. They looked like Agents- or at the very least, local detectives, and the man was pretty quick to understand why they were there. 

“Are you Bradley Mathis?” Emily asked, standing a few inches in front of Aaron, clearly trying to take the lead on this. It was probably for the best, since his head was not on right today. In all honesty, his head hadn’t been on right since Foyet. 

“Who are you?” Bradley asked defensively, crossing his arms across his chest and backing away from the door. 

“Mr. Mathis, I want to assure you that if you cooperate with us, there will be no trouble. We understand you did everything to protect your daughter, and we aren’t looking for trouble. We just want to find the person who did this for you.” As Aaron spoke, he realized how scary this must be for him. His daughter was brutally attacked, they found the man that hurt her, and then he threatened her into silence so he could walk free. If it had happened to Aaron’s kid, he would’ve killed the son of a bitch with his own bare hands. 

“You promise me nothing will happen to me?” He asked defensively, his eyes darting nervously across the room.

“I never met her, okay. I swear,” he responded in relief, as if he’d been waiting for the moment he could finally tell somebody. It was exhausting caring around those kinds of secrets. “I got her info from a friend. You go to the website, submit your claim, and she’ll send an assistant out to decide if she’ll take you on as a client. If she decides to help you, you’ll give half the money up front, and half upon proof of… death,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he spoke the words.

“That’s pretty standard practice for what she is…” Emily added. 

“How did you find her website?” Aaron asked, wanting to leave this man in peace as quickly as possible. 

“There’s some… tricks to finding her. Give me one second,” he said, turning around quickly and darting to another room. Emily reached for her gun defensively, but Aaron put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. 

“He won’t run.” 

“How do you know? He has every reason to dart.” 

“I just know. He’ll be back. Trust me.” Aaron looked to his Agent, kindly suggesting but also ordering her to relax. She nodded, crossing her arms as the pair waited for Bradley. As Aaron suspected, he came back a few minutes later with a beat up piece of paper. 

“Someone I know from the support group gave me this. It’s how to contact her.” He handed them a brochure that was in pretty bad shape, but still legible enough to understand where to go. From the outside, it looked like a brochure for a dental surgery. But there were certain words highlighted, most likely by whoever gave Bradley this in the first place. It mapped out clear instructions on how to contact this mystery vigilante. 

“That’s all I know. I swear.” 

“I believe you,” Aaron responded, noticining the calmness flooding over Bradley’s face as Aaron spoke. “You can never tell anybody this, do you understand?” 

Bradley nodded, his mouth glued shut as the reality of the situation finally weighed on him. He noticed the guns holstered to Emily and Aaron’s hips, and quickly shut the door, no goodbye’s needed. 

“If she’s sending people to meet potential clients before she meets them, she isn’t local,” Emily put together, shaking her head in shock as the pair walked back to their car. 

“No, she’s not. Which means we need to get back on the plane ASAP. Send this over to Garcia, I’ll call the team and tell them to meet us back at the jet.” 

“Sounds good.” 

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“Hello, angels. Are you ready for all the answers to your prayers?” Garcia’s voice popped through the stiff air of the jet, breaking through the harsh waters like a ray of sunshine. 

“Were you able to find her, Garcia?” 

“Of course, sir. Our girl is fancy. You need five grand upfront just to meet with her. Her website looks like it was designed for a five star hotel. She is legit.” 

“Can we actually find her, Penelope?” Aaron had raised his voice slightly, frustration starting to set in. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted to bring her in and end this. 

“Yes, yes. Sorry. Our girl goes by the name Ananke.” 

“That’s not very intimidating,” Derek laughed, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair. 

“Well, kind of. Ananke is a greek goddess, specifically known as one of the most powerful deity’s to control fate and circumstance. It’s pretty fitting, giving what she does.” 

“The only way to meet her is to submit an appointment request, which is easier said than done. She has a legit system, requires a birth certificate, social security number, and a license or passport.”

“And five G’s,” JJ added. 

“Can we create fake documents and submit them? Maybe have someone undercover go meet her.” 

“I’ll do it. This has been my case from the beginning, I’d like to end it as well,” Aaron said, assuring his team he would finish this. 

“I can get everything made up and submitted before you land.” 

“Is there any way to figure out where she’s located?” 

“Unfortunately not at the moment. I am still digging though, it’s possible I missed something.” 

“Thanks, Garcia. We’ll see you soon.” 

The team made some more small talk after that, realizing there wasn’t much they could do unless they had a location. Aaron’s head was beginning to throb again, absolute exhaustion overcoming him as he sat down and let himself relax for the first time in days. He missed Jack, he missed the comfort of his own bed, the smell of his cheap laundry detergent. He realized he was digging his nails into his palms, his flesh barely intact as he released his tension. 

The rest of his team had broken up into their own conversations, ignoring the crumbling mess that was Aaron Hotchner. He walked to the bathroom quietly, snooping through the cabinets and finding a small bottle of vodka. He downed it quickly, letting the liquor burn the back of his throat and take his mind off of everything else. Even if it was for a moment, the distraction was welcomed, and almost necessary for him to keep going. 

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It was two full days- almost forty eight hours exactly- when they finally heard back from Ananke. She had agreed to meet with ‘Zachary Wilson’ who was looking for revenge against the drunk driver that killed his wife. And to the whole team’s surprise, it appeared that she was located in DC. Ananke herself said she would meet him, stating that she was ‘in the area’. 

The address she gave them appeared to be a popular nightclub in college town, one that Aaron had unfortunately been dragged to on multiple occasions. The team agreed that Aaron should meet her alone, the team standing outside to come in if necessary. She wanted to meet him on a Friday night, which meant the place would be flooded with innocent civilians. It was safest if they stayed out of it, at first. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Aaron had barely eaten in days. He was staying alive on coffee, tylenol, and mini bottles of vodka he could keep in his pockets. Oh, and the occasional cigarette was a necessity as well. He had waited anxiously for what felt like weeks to meet her. This case had been weighing on him since the moment he received that letter, and he wanted it to be over. He wanted the anxiety and the chaos to be over. But, once they solved this one, there would just be another after, and the cycle of chaos and anxiety begins all over again. 

“I hope you know you can't dress like that,” JJ said, teasing Aaron with a light shove as she walked past him. 

“Why?” 

“It’s… a business suit, Hotch. And you're going to a nightclub. It screams Fed.” 

Aaron looked down at himself, realizing JJ was right. His vibes screamed ‘Cop’, and that was exactly what he did not want. 

“Don’t worry, sir. I have something you can borrow from my go bag,” Derek suggested. 

“Hotch in Derek’s clothes? That’s something I’ll pay good money to see,” Emily laughed, JJ giggling alongside her as Derek rolled his eyes and threw clothes at the two of them. 

“You think these will work?” Derek asked the girls, not bothering with Aaron’s opinion. 

“Oh, it’s perfect. Hotch will love these,” they laughed, neatly folding the clothes and handing them to Aaron. He walked away in silence, heading towards his office so he could change. The clothes weren’t a perfect fit, but they were better than his suit. The shirt was way too tight, with a v-neck that was way too deep. His arms felt like they would rip right through the cheap cotton, and his ass felt like it was going to bust straight out of the denim. 

He began to walk out of the office quietly, hoping that the rest of the team wouldn’t be waiting for his fashion show. But as he figured, they were standing by patiently for him to show off in Derek’s way too tight clothes. As soon as he opened the door, a riot of laughs and cat calls surrounded him. He felt himself blushing, which was something he hadn’t done in a long time. 

“Damn, Hotch. Where have you been hiding those arms?” Derek laughed, his voice echoing through Aarons head. 

“I think we need to start casual Friday,” Spencer added, staring in awe at his boss. 

“Alright, enough guys. This is a serious case, and I need everyone to be on their best behavior.” 

“I’m not sure I can act right with you walking around like that,” Rossi joked, causing the rest of the team to burst out with laughter. Aaron just rolled his eyes, secretly appreciating the light that they all brought to his life. 

“Alright, you guys ready to go?” 

“All set. Let’s go catch a killer, sir.” 

The ride to the club was a bit of a hike, a little over thirty minutes by the time they parked. They were split in two cars, seperated to cover both entrances. The plan was for him to go in and assess the situation, hoping he can get her out without harming any bystanders. If he needed backup, he had an alarm he could trigger that would alert the rest of the team to come in. It was a simple plan, one they had executed a thousand times in the past. But despite that, he felt extremely anxious. 

“Are you ready, Aaron?” Rossi asked, raising his eyebrows in concern. 

“Yeah, let’s get this over with. Stay alert, guys.” Aaron walked out of the car and to the entrance of the club, staring directly at the large bouncer standing in front of the door. He was given very specific instructions on what to see when he approached the man, ones that would deliver him directly to Ananke and avoid having to deal with the actual club. 

“You on the list?” The bouncer asked as Aaron approached, not even bothering to look up from his clipboard. 

“I’m here to see… A,” he whispered, looking around frantically to see if anyone else heard. 

“You got your ID and confirmation number?” He asked, setting his clipboard down and staring intensely at Aaron. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s 73491. And here’s my drivers license,” he responded, handing him the forged Virginia license of one Zachary Wilson. 

“Zachary Wilson…” the man whispered, making Aaron sick to his stomach as he awaited the man to deny him and send him away, ruining his chances of finding her forever. “You’re gonna go in this door, right here,” he said, pointing towards a hidden and seemingly locked door to his right. “Take the stairs all the way up, knock on the door twice. She’ll be right with you.” 

“Thank you,” he responded, relieved as he began to walk past the guard and towards his end goal. 

“Oh, and Zachary,” the man added, causing Aaron to turn around in confusion. 

“Remember: lei è dalla nostra parte,” he said, a smile creeping on his face as he spoke. Aaron recognized the language as Italian, but he couldn’t translate what he was saying. The bouncer turned around before Aaron had the chance to ask what he meant, but he figured it would just be better to move on and go directly to her. 

He slowly opened the door, unsure of what he would find on the other side. To his surprise, it was only an exceptionally narrow staircase in a small hallway, leading directly to another gray door. The sound of fluorescent lights buzzed in the air, making Aaron dizzy as he walked up the steep steps. He remembered what the man said- knock twice. He also remembered the phrase in Italian, lei è dalla nostra parte. And when he finally got to the door, he began to unravel the words in his head. He knocked twice, replaying the words over and over. And when he finally heard the door click open, he understood what the man had meant. She is on our side. 

“Zachary?” A man asked, opening the door slightly, only enough to peak out at him. 

“Yes. I’m here to see-” 

“Ananke. Of course,” he interrupted, swinging the door open and revealing an exceptionally beautiful and ornate room. Aaron walked in slowly, in a daze, his eyes not sure where to look as every piece of the room exceptionally thought out. There was a beautiful chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the light reflecting rainbows from the crystals. 

“She will be with you shortly. Feel free to have a seat somewhere. Can I get you anything to drink?” 

Aaron felt like he was at a hotel, the service impeccable as he sat down on the incredibly comfortable and probably very expensive couch. Most hit men he had met with did not present themselves like this. Whoever she was, she had a lot of money. In that moment, he wondered how many lives she had taken- how many people finally got what they deserved. And for a brief and frightening moment, he wondered if she was doing things right? 

His thoughts were interrupted when she walked out. Not only did he lose his train of thought, but his breath was literally ripped from his chest. She was no longer covering her face, or wearing a wig. She had finally revealed herself to him, and he was in awe. She was absolutely stunning- beautiful to a level that made his head spin and his heart cramp up. He stood up instinctively, feeling the need to stand and greet her face to face. As she walked closer, he felt his throat getting tighter and tighter. 

“Hello,” she spoke, her words floating through the air like a flower in the spring wind. “I’m Ananke.” 

“Mhmm, he,” he stuttered, sticking his hand out to shake hers. “I’m…” he choked, unable to get his words out. 

“Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, right?” She smiled, and Aaron instinctively reached for his gun. 

“Put your weapon away, Aaron. I’m no threat to you,” she instructed, and he complied. For some reason, he believed her. She had no intention of hurting him or anyone else in this building. He didn’t need his weapon. 

“How do you know who I am?” 

“The FBI has a list of Social Security numbers they regularly use for fake documents. It’s… a hard list to get your hands on. I’m lucky I have friends in high places.” 

“So you knew who I was from the minute I submitted my application?” He was shocked, a sick feeling washing over him. Who was she? How was she consistently one step ahead of them? 

“I’m sorry to break your sense of superiority, agent. It hurts when someone is smarter than you, doesn't it?” She tilted her head at him, a devilish grin pasted across her face. He wanted to hate her, he wanted to be angry, but all he could focus on was the fire burning inside of him and the hunger building itself, the craving overcoming her. Her skirt revealed a little too much of her thigh and her shirt was a little too low cut and the thought of her flesh on his rippled its way through his body. 

“Well, we found you and I’m going to arrest you, so it doesn’t seem like you came out on top here,” he responded, avoiding eye contact as he tried to get his impure thoughts out of his head. 

“Agent Hotchner, something you will quickly learn is that I only come on top.” She winked at him, pursuing her lips slightly and smiling. She held her wrists out to him, walking towards him until she was only inches away. “Are you going to arrest me, Agent?” 

Aaron reached for the cuffs in his back pocket, pulling them out slowly and staring directly at her. She didn't take his eyes off of him, standing tall as he began to cuff her. Her hands were soft, almost comical as they brushed against his rough and untouched skin. He didn’t speak, and neither did she. He just closed the cuffs on her, her large eyes staring up at him like a doe. He felt dizzy again, the intoxicating smell of her perfume, the subtle hints of berries and vanilla surrounding him in a whirlwind. 

He slowly grabbed his phone from his pocket, trying to dial Rossi’s number, feeling drunk as he pressed the button. What was wrong with him? And what was wrong with her? Why would she willingly let herself get arrested so easily? That was the problem. This was exceptionally easy. Nothing was ever this easy. 

“Hey, Rossi. I got her. We’re coming down now.” 

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Aaron wasn’t surprised that she remained silent the entire car ride back to Quantico. What he was surprised by is that she didn’t appear nervous or angry. She sat calmly, staring out the window, her body relaxed and her lips forming the slightest smile. It made him angry- he didn’t understand her nonchalance. 

They tried to talk to her, ask her for her real name, about her crimes- but she would just look at them, tilting her head and smiling before bringing her gaze back outside. When they finally arrived back at the Bureau, she turned towards Aaron and Rossi, slowly speaking her first words in over thirty minutes. 

“Am I allowed a phone call?” She asked, staring directly at Aaron, as if it was only the two of them in the car. For a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world. 

“Who exactly would you like to call?” Rossi smirked, rolling his eyes, trying to get Aaron to look at him. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. He was drawn to her like a sailor at sea, listening to the sweet song of the siren. He understood, now, why the sailors always swam to their death. It was because it was so damn beautiful. 

“I’d like to speak with the Director,” she insisted, her eyes finally releasing Aaron from his hypnosis as she looked in disgust at Rossi. He could sense the shift in her tone as she looked at the agent- she had built up a terrifying exterior that she had on display for most people. But when she looked at Aaron, the wall somehow didn’t exist. Why would she show her true self to a stranger? What was it about him that she was drawn too? Could she sense his pain? Did she know that he understood why she did what she did? That he, too, had felt the rush of ending evil with his own two hands? 

“The Director? Of the FBI?” Rossi asked, shocked at her absurd request. “What exactly would you like to speak to him about?” 

“I just think he’d be interested to know I’m here,” she spoke, calmly, sitting back in the seat of the car and looking out the window again. 

“This girl is nuts…” Rossi whispered to Aaron before getting out of the car and grabbing ‘Ananke’ from the back seat. Aaron followed closely behind, his eyes locked on Rossi’s tight grip around her flesh. He could see the marks his agent was leaving behind, his fingertips dug into her arm. It made him sick. The thought of anyone harming her made him sick. But she was the bad guy- he was supposed to hate her, to send her away and avenge all of the lives she took. Why did he want to save her so bad? Grab her from Rossi, hop in the car and take her away from all of this. It didn’t make sense, the way he felt. And Aaron hated it- he hated feeling out of control of his own thoughts- his own desires. 

As they brought her into the BAU, the rest of the team following behind, he immediately noticed something was off when he walked through the doors. The rest of the team must have noticed as well, because they all kind of stopped in their tracks as they walked in. 

Derek noticed her first, pacing back and forth in Aaron’s office. 

“Strauss,” he groaned, rolling his eyes at the sight of her. 

“What is she doing here?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and tensing up. 

“I’m not sure. I’ll go find out. Rossi, can you bring her into the interrogation room? Spencer, try and get something out of her,” Aaron instructed his team, watching them seperate and do their assigned tasks as he walked up to his office. When he got closer, he noticed the Director was also there as well. He got a sick feeling in his stomach, remembering his immediate thoughts when he first arrested Ananke. It’s never this easy. 

He opened his office door with shaking hands, immediately slapped in the face with tension clinging to the air. The Director stood up as he entered, and Strauss stopped pacing. 

“Aaron,” she whispered, her eyes darting nervously around the room. 

“Erin,” he smirked, not sure why his brain was choosing this moment to crack jokes. 

“It’s good to see you, Agent Hotchner. It’s been a while,” the Director said. 

“Chris. It’s good to see you as well. Can I ask what you’re doing in my office?” 

The two of them looked nervously at each other, as if deciding who had to tell him the unspoken secret. The first thought in his brain was that Foyet was back. He killed him, though. He remembered the life draining out of him. He couldn’t be back. He felt his body get hot, his breathing picking up as he remembered Foyet’s face… 

“Aaron… unfortunately, we’re going to need you to let (Y/N) go.” 

“Who?” He asked bluntly, confused at the name he was sure he had never heard before. Although his brain was still spinning, he was feeling calmer knowing whatever this was, it wasn’t about Foyet. 

“Ananke. You need to release her,” Strauss clarified, her voice equally annoyed and apologetic. 

“I’m sorry… I’m confused.” Aaron was realizing now how much easier it was to hate Ananke - or (Y/N) - when she wasn't right in front of him. He couldn’t see her, she couldn’t lure him in. Her spell had broken. “I know for a fact she killed at least one person. I’m not releasing her.” 

“Aaron, this goes beyond you. She is no longer a person of interest.” Chris had raised his voice, clearly frustrated at whatever was happening. 

“You can’t just take away my unsub and not tell me why. Do you think my team will be okay with that? Do you think I’ll be okay with that?” Aaron was angry, the thought of them taking her away with no reason making him crazy. 

“Agent Hotchner, there are some secrets within the Bureau that even you don’t know about.” 

“I don’t accept that.” 

Chris and Strauss looked defeated, both accepting that they won’t win this battle. Chris shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, contemplating his words. 

“What is going on, Strauss?” Aaron begged, the room beginning to spin again, his body craving the sweet release of nicotine and the bitter taste of vodka. 

“Your unsubs real name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She is a government protected assassin.” 

“What?” Aaron’s head was spinning, the room around him dancing in circles as the words floated through his mind. That couldn’t be real. There was no way the place he worked, that he believed upheld justice, would do something so… unjust. So immoral. They had to be lying. “It’s not possible. We met the man that paid her to kill someone. She was paid by a civilian to kill a civilian.” 

“She sometimes takes on… side projects,” Chris muttered, clearly knowing his words would upset Aaron. 

“And you allow that?” He yelled, his body fuming with anger as he paced around his office. It didn't make sense. Everything he had ever believed in was crumbling right before his eyes- all because of her. 

“With the things she has done for us, Aaron, there is a little bit of lenience. Besides, Jason was a bad person, anyways.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay. We have a justice system in place for a reason.” He felt sick, the realization that a system he protected for so long was seeping with corruption. 

“Did Foyet get his chance for trial? Or did the justice system not count for him?” Strauss looked at him sternly, frustration written on her face. Aaron realized she was right. He took justice into his own hands with Foyet, and he didn’t regret it. How was she doing anything different? For a moment, nothing made sense to Aaron. His entire belief system had shattered right in front of him. He was speechless, his brain splashing around trying to find the right words to express his disbelief. But he was coming up empty, drawing blanks. There was truly nothing he could say that could capture how he felt. He just thought of her, the sweet smell of berries that lingered in her hair, the softness of her skin, the enticing aura that surrounded her when she looked at him. 

“What am I supposed to tell my team?” He thought out loud. 

“We’ll handle it. Let’s go out and talk to them now,” Chris instructed, walking out of the office and down towards the annex. Rossi noticed the three of them and quickly walked up to Chris, greeting him. 

“Could you gather your team for me?” The director asked, Aaron still unsure of how he would explain this to them. Rossi grabbed everyone pretty quickly, dragging Spencer from the interrogation room, which Aaron could only imagine was going very poorly. 

“Hello everyone, I’m sorry to bother you all, but the unsub you brought in today is a person of interest in several international crimes. She’s been on our watch list for a while, now, and we’re going to have to hand her over to interpol.” The Directors words were quick and precise, leaving no room for anyone to second guess him. Even Aaron was convinced they weren’t going to release her the minute they were alone. 

“What has she done?” JJ questioned, intrigued at the mystery international criminal they brought in. 

“It’s classified, Agent. And if you don’t mind, we’d like to get out of here rather quickly. If someone could grab her, please,” he ordered, causing Spencer to quickly walk to the room she was in and bring her back out to them. 

She was smirking widely as she walked out, clearly knowing her freedom was inevitable. He had so many questions for her, so much he needed to know, but he had to keep his mouth shut. She was slipping right through his fingers, and he had only just begun to know her. 

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. I know how much you enjoyed seeing me in handcuffs,” she whispered to him as she passed by, winking seductively before being taken away by the Director and Strauss. 

Aaron felt miserable as she walked away, the three of them heading into the elevator and away from him forever. She now felt only like a ghost, a distant memory fading away as more time went by without her. The team moved on from the loss in a matter of minutes, but Aaron stood there, frozen in place, waiting desperately for her to come back. 

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Five days. He was able to wait five days before he went to see her. He tried so desperately to forget about her- it seemed everyone else had. But she seeped into his dreams, tossing and turning as he tried to sleep, her voice, her face, her body, calling to him. He needed to see her again, just to ask her why. He wouldn’t sleep ever again if he didn’t. 

So, five days after she walked away, he waited until Jack was asleep, explained to Jessica that he had some paperwork to take care of, and headed to see her. His brain continuously tried to tell him it was a bad idea. He should turn around, go home, and forget her. But he knew it was easier said than done. This was the only way. 

When he got to the club, he noticed the same bouncer from before was sitting outside the door. Aaron felt a bit relieved, hoping the man would recognize him and he could lie his way up to (Y/N)’ door. 

“Hey, man,” he said casually, trying to sound as calm and not suspicious as possible. 

“Can I help you?” The man grunted, clearly not amused by Aaron’s attempt to be friendly. 

“I’m here to see A. We met a few days ago, I need to drop my money off,” he whispered, praying to whatever God was listening that this guy would believe his story. 

“A isn’t supposed to be meeting anyone tonight,” he groaned, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Aaron could tell it was a long shot, but he had to do whatever he could to see her. 

“Call her. She’ll tell you,” he stuttered, looking anxiously at the large man standing between him and (Y/N). It was possible he could take him down if he had to, Aaron thought. It would be a hell of a fight, but he’d brought down bigger men. He shifted instinctively, trying to casually feel his hip and make sure he was still armed. 

The man pulled out a small phone that appeared to be very old- most likely a burner they used to communicate. He dialed a number quickly and stared at Aaron, as if hoping his boss would give him the go ahead to kick Aaron’s ass. 

“Hey, it’s me. Some guy is here to see you. Said you talked earlier today. Can you check the cams,” he asked, trying to speak quietly, but Aaron was still able to hear every word. He waited patiently for her response, trying to keep his face calm. 

“Alright, thanks A.” He hung the call up and placed the phone in his pocket, taking as long as possible to give Aaron his answer. It felt like hours, excruciating pain as he waited for his fate. 

“You’re clear to go.”

Aaron was almost positive she would send him away. If she had cameras, she knew it was him. Why would she allow him to come up? Did she want to see him, too? 

He knew if he stood there any longer contemplating the situation, he would look suspicious. So despite all of his common sense warning him that something was wrong, he walked through the secret door and up the narrow staircase, knocking twice at her door and awaiting to enter her world. 

He was greeted by the same man from earlier, who was smiling brightly as he opened the door and let him in. He offered him another drink, which Aaron politely declined, finding a seat on one of the couches and unable to sit still as he waited for her. 

She left him waiting for quite a while. Although it felt like hours of agony for Aaron, his watch assured him he had only been waiting around twenty minutes by the time she finally greeted him. She was wearing a short red dress, golden heels wrapped around her feet as she floated towards him, smiling devilishly as she poured herself a drink. 

“It’s nice to see you again, Agent,” she teased, taking a sip of her liquor of choice and taking a seat across from him. 

“I needed to talk to you.” 

“About what?” She tilted her head, soft lips creating a pout of confusion as she stared at him. 

“You knew I was going to arrest you the minute you got my application to meet… if you knew you couldn’t get in trouble, why would you let all of that happen? You could’ve called the Director the minute you knew who I was. Why didn’t you?” Aaron needed to know why she went through the trouble of setting up a meeting with him, allowing herself to be arrested and brought to the Bureau. It didn’t make sense, allowing herself to take such a big risk.

“It seemed… fun. Sometimes my life can be quite boring.” She smiled at him, her flirtatious grin that she seemed to save just for Aaron. 

“Wasting my time, my team's time… that's fun to you?” Aaron was getting angry again, his body fuming as he looked at her. 

“Well, maybe a part of me wanted to meet you. I mean, we’re not so different, Aaron.” 

“Hah,” he laughed, rolling his eyes at her. “You think you and I have anything in common?” 

“Oh, are you not the same SSA Aaron Hotchner who killed George Foyet with his own hands?” 

“How the hell do you know that?” Aaron had stood up at this point, his anger and frustration causing his body to become restless. 

“It’s on your record, Agent. It’s not too hard to find…” She took another sip of her drink, finishing the last of the cups content and standing up to face him. For a moment, they were inches apart, the air between them stock full of tension, anger and attraction swimming around the two. But as he prayed he could control his compulsion to touch her, she walked away, over to another corner of the room, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it. 

The smell of smoke intoxicated him, making his knees shake as he craved the burn of nicotine in his throat. She floated back towards him, taking her place back on the couch and burning quickly through her cigarette. 

“You seem so angry, Aaron.” 

“Because you’re killing people, and somehow the people I look up to to maintain law and order don’t care.” 

“Have you ever thought that you’re more angry at yourself than at me? I mean, a part of you gets it, right? You understand what I do, why I do it… and that makes you sick, doesn’t it?” 

“I would never justify what you do.” 

“Mm,” she hummed, standing up and walking towards him again. She placed a soft hand on his face, Aaron realizing her touch was the first he’d felt since Haley died. The feel of his flesh being caressed by someone, being held by someone- it made him melt. 

“Maybe it’s not that, though. Maybe you really do hate me, hate what I do. But a part of you can’t stop thinking about touching me, feeling me… fucking me.” She moved her hand down his body, trailing her fingers down his chest and stopping at the base of his groin. He felt chills down his body, blood rushing to his cock at the slightest touch. 

“That’s not- it’s not that,” he stuttered, trying to back away, knowing how dangerous it would be for him to get roped into something like this. 

“Right, of course,” she whispered, taking her hand away from him and turning around, walking away. He watched her body as she floated across the room, his eyes glued to her ass that was begging to be touched by him. 

“(Y/N)...” Aaron whispered, calling for her, unable to stand the feeling of her being away from him. She turned towards him, walking back slowly, taking her time and letting him simmer in anticipation as she made her way back to the center of the room. When she made her way back to him, he grabbed her chin with his hand, tilting her face up towards him, her lips inches from his. 

“I would never want somebody like you. You are a bad person, no matter what you try to say to me.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Agent,” she smirked, her lips almost brushing against his as she formed them into a smile. 

At that moment, it felt like any self control Aaron had flew directly out the window. He wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her body into his and kissing her. It was a kiss that was draped in desperation, anger, lust. His tongue made no attempt to be gentle, selfishly exploring her small mouth and he picked her up and sat her on a table. He tore his shirt off, his desire to be touched, to touch her, overcoming any restraint he had before. 

He picked her up, her small frame easy for his trained body to carry swifty to the couch. He threw her down on her back, her body writhing under his, moaning his name so loud that he was sure the club goers downstairs could hear. He wrapped his hands around her neck, gripping gently, listening to her gasp for air as he slid up her dress to reveal nothing underneath. 

“You’re just begging for me, aren’t you,” he teased, pulling his hard cock out from his boxers and teasing her entrance with his tip. She nodded slowly at him, unable to speak as he still had his hand gripped around her throat. He was aching to hear her voice again, so he released his hand, getting turned on at the mark he left on her. 

He slipped into her slowly, no time to waste on foreplay. He knew he needed her now, that their time was limited and it was only a matter of time before his common sense kicked in and he got out of there. But for the moment, he was sloppily pounding into her, not caring who saw or heard, desperately needing to be as close to her as possible. 

He came quickly, the euphoria of feeling another woman for the first time in months too much for him to control. She came too, though. He could tell she wasn’t faking- he could feel it. After they finished, he quickly put his clothes back on, (Y/N) continuing to lay breathlessly on the couch. He watched her for a moment, waiting for her to say something- ask him to stay, kiss him goodbye. But she just pulled herself up and walked towards the other side of the room, grabbing and lighting another cigarette.

“You should go.” (Y/N) instructed, not even bothering to look up at the man who just came inside her moments ago. 

“You shouldn’t smoke those, you know. They’ll kill you.” Aaron’s mouth was dry, watching the trail of smoke that followed her as she floated around the room, refusing to give him even a second of her time. 

“What do I have to live for?” She asked, finally dragging her tired eyes to his and smiling, one of the first real, and saddest, smiles he had seen from her. 

Aaron tried to think of something else to say, racking his brain for the correct words to say. But he continuously came up empty, and he realized he was starting to look more and more suspicious the longer he stood there. He decided to walk away, ignore the part of him that refused to tear away from her. 

He walked soberly down the stairs, out onto the street and to his car. As he sat in his drivers seat and started the engine, feeling his face get hot, the rare feeling of wet eyes as he began to cry. And then he started to laugh. An uncontrollable cackle that spilled out of him like a waterfall. It was comical, to look back over the past few months and relive all of the bullshit he had been through. He didn’t even recognize the person in the mirror anymore. And maybe that was a good thing, because the person he used to be was the same person that let Haley die. 

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Aaron tried to pretend he didn’t spend every day over the next week thinking about her. The way her soft skin felt when he touched her, the way her lips tasted like bubblegum and her hair smelled like cherries. When he imagined her in his head, everything felt so distant, like he was barely holding on to a dream of her. He could feel her memory slipping away every second, and he couldn’t let that happen. 

He had to see her again, and soon. He wondered if she was thinking about him as well, if she remembered the mint chapstick he was wearing, or the Dolce cologne he was wearing. It made him sick, thinking that she forgot him. (Y/N) had slowly become everything to him, what if he was just a passing thought for her? 

The team had landed back in DC an hour ago, solving a case in Miami that was one of the easier ones they had had this year. Aaron was grateful for the slight break, his brain not completely in the right headspace. 

He rushed to finish up the closing paperwork, scribbling his words sloppily and without much care for grammar. He knew as soon as Strauss read his, she would call him and question his mental state. But he didn’t care. He just needed to get the hell out of here tonight, and if that meant sitting through another of Strauss’s evaluations, it was worth it. 

As he was signing the last of the documents, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He grabbed it with caution, not sure who would be calling him this late at night. The call was coming from an unknown number, and Aaron immediately worried something had happened to Jack. He was away at his grandparents this week, planning on staying a few more days. He answered the phone nervously, preparing for whatever horror was to come. 

“Hello, Agent,” a female voice said, a voice he instantly recognized as (Y/N)’s. Her voice flowed smoothly like silk even over the phone. It was truly hard to believe how she had managed to perfect every aspect of herself. 

“Why- how are you calling me?” He looked around cautiously, making sure no one could secretly hear any part of the phone call. 

“I’m flying to Paris this weekend, a little well deserved vacation. I was calling to see if you’d like to join me.” 

“I… Paris? I can’t just fly to Paris.” Aaron chuckled into the phone, the idea of someone just getting up and deciding to fly halfway across the world with no plan truly comical to him. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize I’d called the Fun Police. I thought this was Aaron Hotchner,” she teased. He could feel her smiling through the phone, a warmth that somehow seemed to wrap him even though he could only see her in his thoughts. 

“I can have fun…” he argued, biting his lip awkwardly, not wanting to seem inferior to her. 

“When was the last time you did something for yourself, Agent? Have you ever just… been spontaneous?” 

“(Y/N), you don’t understand-” 

“Call me A on the phone. It’s safer,” she instructed, her voice losing its soft luster as her professional side kicked in. 

“A… my job, my life… it doesn't leave room for spontaneity.” 

“No, Agent. That’s your choice. I’ll be at the jet runway at Dulles in two hours. Think about it. I’ll wait for you.” She hung the phone up, not giving him room to protest. He set the phone down on his desk, instantly missing her even more than he did before. Jack was going to be with his grandparents for three more days, and he did have some saved up vacation time. But what would he tell the team? What would he tell Strauss? 

His phone vibrated again, this time only a single buzz to indicate a text message. He flipped his phone over and saw a new message from an Unknown number. 

Life doesn’t have to be so complicated, Agent. It is much too short to spend this much time suffering. Learn to enjoy your days. 

A

He reread the message a thousand times, knowing the words would still reign true no matter how much he tried to convince himself she was in the wrong. He had spent his whole life serving others, and he was okay with it, until now. Maybe if he had lived without complication, and enjoyed his days, his life would be completely different… 

He ran home and quickly packed a bag, letting Strauss and Rossi know he needed some ‘alone time’ for a few days. They didn’t question it- one nice thing about having a recent trauma, he thought. He took an Uber to the airport, praying that (Y/N) kept her promise and waited for him. 

When he finally arrived on the runway, he noticed her immediately. It was as if even being near her set an alarm off inside of him, like every part of his brain was awake, feeling her energy from a hundred feet away. 

He thanked the Uber driver and ran to her, bag in hand. As he got to her, he noticed her face. She wasn’t surprised or shocked in the slightest- she knew he’d come. She somehow knew every move he would make. Was he that predictable… or was it something special between them?

“I have to be home in three days,” he said, breathlessly, overjoyed at the sight of his girl. 

“We can do a lot in three days,” she responded, smiling wickedly. She walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his torso and embracing him. It was such a nice feeling to be held, comforted. He felt like he could stay there in her arms for years. But she broke the hug pretty quickly, motioning for one of her men to take care of the bags and began walking towards the jet. 

As he followed her up the stairs and into their own private world, he started to remember everything he was leaving behind. The realization of just how impulsive this was dawned on him as he looked back at the city behind him. He felt dizzy, leaning on the railing for support as he shakily walked up. 

“You alright?” (Y/N) asked, placing a hand on his arm to steady him. 

“This is crazy, (Y/N). I just can’t believe I’m doing this.” 

They continued to walk into the jet, her hand intertwined in his as they sat down and the door closed behind them. A man came out from behind the curtain, who Aaron immediately recognized as the same man who greeted him both times he met her. 

“Aaron, this is my… well, assistant, I guess. Jay, this is my new friend, Aaron.” She waved to Jay slightly, instructing him to come closer. 

“It’s good to meet you sir. Can I get the two of you anything to drink?” Jay was a short boy, couldn't have been more than 25. He clearly worshipped the ground she walked on, which seemed to be par for the course with men she knew. 

“Oh, hmm,” she thought, closing her eyes for a moment as she racked her brain for a decision. “Whiskey sour. What would you like?” She turned towards Aaron, the subtle tilt of her head reminding him of how pretty her neck looked with his hands around it. 

“I’ll do a Scotch, neat,” he ordered, something so enticing about ordering a drink on a private jet to Paris. 

“I’ll grab those for you now. Matt is ready to take off, A, are you all set?” Jay turned back towards his boss, his eyes widening like a puppy as he waited for her words. 

“I’m ready to go Jay, thank you,” she smiled, looking at him quickly before bringing her attention back to Aaron. Jay took her disinterest as a sign to leave and make their drinks, so he shuffled away quickly after she looked away. 

He came back with their drinks a moment later, leaving quickly after and closing himself in the cockpit. The jet began to take off shortly after, and Aaron took a long sip of his drink, hoping the alcohol would calm any nerves he had left. He started at (Y/N) dreamily, as she shuffled through her phone and a pile on various paperwork on her lap. 

“Sorry, Agent, just finishing up some work,” she whispered, her eyes still staring down. 

“Mmm, it’s okay,” he responded, just happy to be in the same place as her again. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” she smiled, setting her work aside and bringing her attention to Aaron. 

“Why did you kick me out the other night? After…” His voice trailed off, shifting awkwardly in his seat. 

“I figured it be best for you. I didn’t want to wrap you up with my life… with me. But in all honesty, I can’t stop thinking about you. I called you tonight, and told myself if you didn’t show, I’d move on. But… you’re here.” 

“I’m here,” he whispered back, his eyes tracing down her body, craving her once again. 

“I feel like we have something special, Agent,” she whispered seductively, climbing out of her seat and walking towards him. 

“I missed you… I couldn’t stop thinking about you…” he moaned as she bent towards him, her lips kissing down his neck and playing with the collar of his shirt. She unbuttoned the top buttons, kissing his chest and moving her hand to his inner thigh. She trailed her fingers up his thigh, teasing his cock with the slightest touch. His hips bucked uncontrollably, blood flowing down to him as his desire took over his body. 

She got down on her knees, toying with his belt buckle. She was clearly trying to make him wait, the suffering and craving all a part of her game. But he was impatient, so he ripped his belt off himself, undoing his pants and pulling his erect penis out. 

(Y/N) licked her lips in anticipation, wanting to pleasure him as much as he wanted to be pleasured. She played with his tip slowly, toying her tongue around him as he moved underneath her. He wrapped his fingers in her hair, slowly pushing her mouth down around him. He wanted her to take all of him, to feel the back of her throat as he shoved his length in her mouth. She moaned quietly as she took him, bobbing her head up and down quickly and sloppily. 

Aaron couldn’t remember the last time he got a blow job- let alone the last time someone enjoyed giving him one. (Y/N) was toying with him, clearly enjoying the pleasure she was able to give him just with her tongue. She looked up at him as he was about to cum, winking as she dragged her tongue up his shaft. The eye contact sent him over the edge, causing him to release himself in her mouth. She swallowed his cum happily, kissing him on the cheek and sitting back down on her chair. 

He wanted to go to her, give her what she needed now. But he was exhausted, the exhilaration of her taking away all of his energy. He took another hefty sip of his drink, leaning back in his chair and wiping the sweat off his forehead. He buckled his pants back up and readjusted himself in the seat. 

“Don’t hate me, handsome, but I do have to get some work done. Feel free to sleep on the couch, or watch a movie. I’ll let you know when we get there.” She blew him a kiss, teasing him with a wink before losing herself in her work. He wondered what part of her job she could possibly be doing from the seat of a plane. There was truly so much he didn’t know about her, which made it so much more exciting. 

He finished his drink, watching her work in awe as the plane soared over the Atlantic. He felt himself drifting off and didn’t try to stop it, wanting to be fully rested so he could make the most of his time with her. 

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Paris was unarguably Aaron’s favorite place on Earth. Whenever he told people that, they always kind of chuckled. It was kind of a feminine city, at least that’s what everyone told him. But god, he loved it here. The food, the architecture, the people… but most importantly, it was her. 

She had made every second of his life magical. When they landed, she brought him to a small bakery near the Louvre, where they sipped wine and ate the sweetest fruit he’d ever tasted. It was only 10 AM when they got there, but nobody seemed to pay them any attention as they drunkenly strolled down the Parisian streets, giggling and kissing and living. 

When they finally sobered up, they made their way to a gorgeous hotel, where (Y/N) got the nicest suite available. They ordered a few bottles of champagne, popping them open as soon as they got inside and helping themselves to many glasses. They drank out on the balcony, overlooking the whole city as they downed more alcohol. 

The suite came equipped with a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom, which (Y/N) was begging him to take advantage of. She stripped down in front of him, lighting candles and drawing a tub of steaming water. She took a bottle of champagne into the bathroom and soaked herself in the tub, lavender scented bubbles surrounding her. Aaron couldn’t resist the temptation of her body, so he quickly followed after her, stripping down and slipping in the bubbles with her. 

She sat on his lap, he kissed down the back of her neck and nibbled on her flesh. She moved her butt into him, the softness of her flesh pushing into his cock. 

“I told you, sometimes it’s fun to be adventurous.” 

“I never doubted that. I just think this is all… crazy…” 

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” She giggled, pushing bubbles towards him and splashing around the water. 

“Oh do not play games with me,” he laughed, splashing water towards her. She squealed when the water hit her face, scrunching her nose as she wiped the bubbles from her cheeks. 

“Let’s go,” she smirked, standing up and carefully stepping out of the bath. Her skin was glistening from the water, bubbles dripping down her flesh. He stared in awe at her, obsessed with every curve, every inch of her more perfect than the last. She walked slowly out of the bathroom, her butt wiggling with every step. She was clearly calling for him, begging for him to follow her wherever she went. And he would. He did.

He ran after her carefully, finding her naked body wrapped in the fluffy comforter of the bed. She smiled when she saw him, sitting up and wrapping her hands around his neck. She brought his face towards her, kissing him slowly, allowing their lips to enjoy every second they had with each other. 

Aaron’s hands were gripped on her hips, his naked body grinding into hers. He hadn’t known this feeling for a long time- the feeling of complete and total calm. For the first time in an absurd amount of time, he wasn’t worried. He wasn’t thinking of every terrible thing that was happening around him. He was only thinking about her- the way her lips felt on his, the way her body moved… his whole life had so suddenly become wrapped up in her. 

But, the trouble was, nothing good in his life stayed. And it was only a matter of time before the universe took her away, too. 

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The rest of their time in Paris went by in a daze. Most of their time they were either drinking or fucking, taking breaks to walk aimlessly around the Louvre and stroll down the Seine. He was heartbroken when he had to go back, but he did miss his son, and was sure the team was falling apart without him. When they landed back in DC, (Y/N) had a car ready to take Aaron home. 

He had a good hour before Jack would be back, so he used his time to take a long shower and brew a strong pot of coffee. It was almost 7 at night, but his body was still messed up from the change in time zones, and he knew he wouldn’t get much sleep that night. He was already missing her, checking his phone every five minutes to see if she would whisk him away on another adventure. 

But, as he quickly learned, she was the type of person to disappear for a while. Aaron didn’t hear from her for seven full days after Paris. Seven full agonizing days of wondering where she was, who she was with, and most importantly- what she was doing. 

Being away from her made it easier for him to realize the reality of their situation. She was a killer; and yeah, maybe she only killed ‘bad’ people, but did that really make it any better? At least, that was the question he was asking himself. Surprisingly, as more time went on, the harder time he had convincing himself she was a villain. Maybe it was because he was falling in love with her, maybe it was because he understood the anger of watching guilty people walk away from things completely unscathed. 

They didn’t speak about work once during their time together, although it was clear Aaron had a lot of questions. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what she could be doing for Strauss and the Director. Who was she killing that they couldn’t get to the normal way? He wanted to know her life, understand the secrets she spent her existence protecting- but it wasn't for him. And maybe that was for the best. The mystery of it all made it… hotter. 

So when he finally heard from her, seven full days later, he felt like a kid on Christmas. He recognized the ‘unknown’ number as it popped up on the screen, stepping into his office so he could speak with her privately. 

“Hi, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke, her voice singing to him. He loved the way she called him Agent. He loved everything about her. 

“I’ve missed you. Where have you been?” 

“Oh, working. You know.” He could tell she didn’t want to speak any more about work, so he changed the subject. 

“Are you back in DC?” 

“For a bit.”

“Can I see you? Let’s get dinner somewhere. Anywhere.” 

“I… we probably shouldn’t be out together like that… if we saw anyone we knew… your team…” She spoke her words carefully, not sure how to tell him that their relationship wasn’t exactly approved of. Aaron had never really thought about it, but the reality made him sick. Would he never be able to love her publicly? Hold her hand at the park, take her to eat at his favorite restaurant, introduce her to his friends? 

But the adrenaline, the euphoria of being with her- it was worth any negatives. He would eat in the dark with her, hide her in his house, runaway with her… 

“Come over to my place, then. We’ll order pizza, watch a movie.” 

“Hah,” she giggled, her laugh airy and full of light just as he remembered. Hearing it made him smile. “I can’t remember the last time I ordered pizza and watched movies with a boy…” 

“Well, given the circumstances, I have to get creative A.” 

“What about Jack?” 

“Oh,” Aaron responded, forgetting for a moment that she had yet to meet his son. He didn’t think twice about it, wanting his son to know the woman that was bringing him so much joy. But was it safe? And did she want to know him? 

“I don’t want to put you in an awkward situation.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“What is happening between us? Are we just messing around… Is there feelings?” He hated to ask her such a loaded question over the phone, but he needed to know the answer- he had to know if she was just as head over heels as she was. 

“Agent, no man I’ve ever ‘messed around’ with has this number.” 

Aaron chuckled, the nervousness in his chest subsiding. 

“Come over tonight, please,” he begged, craving the way her lips felt on his. 

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight, Agent.” 

“I’ll see you tonight, A.” 

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Aaron didn’t expect just how wonderful (Y/N) would be with Jack. He had never really seen a maternal side to her before, but she was incredible. Jack took a liking to her as well, even falling asleep between the both of them as they watched Finding Nemo. After they were sure he was asleep, Aaron carried his son to his room and put him to bed, (Y/N) following close behind, in awe of the way Aaron cared for his son. 

“You want a glass of wine?” Aaron whispered to her, the two of them hand in hand as they walked back to the living room. 

“Please!” 

He poured the two of them overly generous glasses of Riesling, snuggling up on the couch next to her and kissing her on the forehead. They tried to find a movie for a bit, scrolling through endless channels before giving up. 

“Can you stay the night?” 

“I wish, but I have to catch an early flight tomorrow,” she frowned, her pout showcasing her perfect lips that he couldn’t get out of his head. 

“Where are you going?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. Her face turned pale and emotionless as she thought of a response, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. 

“You know I can’t tell you that,” she responded. 

“I’m sorry.” He felt uncomfortable, not sure exactly what to say to her. They had never had an awkward silence before, and it made him sick as he waited in the quiet for her to respond. 

“I probably should get going,” she finally said, setting her almost empty glass of wine down on the coffee table. 

“Oh, c’mon, we just got some time alone…” he pleaded, but he could tell by the look on her face he had already lost her. 

“I’m sorry, love. I just have a lot to prepare for this case.” 

“I understand. Will I see you soon?” 

“I’ll do my best, Agent.” 

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California was a popular hot spot for serial killers. It seemed like Aaron and the team were there every other week. This time, San Francisco was the lucky city. He had already been there for two days, stuck on an incredibly weird case, when he got the call. 

“Good morning, Agent,” (Y/N) spoke. 

“A… it’s good to hear from you.” He was relieved at the sound of her voice, the dark energy of this specific case seeping into him, choking any optimism out of him. 

“How are things?” 

“I’m working on a tough case, to be honest. It’s taking a lot out of me.” 

“Would it be better if I was there?” 

“How is that possible?” 

“I was… in the area. Set some time aside to stop by.” 

“I’m going to be really busy…” he frowned, realizing now how difficult it would be to actually see her. 

“Oh, Agent, I sure hope you can make time to see me,” she teased, giggling through the phone, her laugh wrapping him in warmth and shielding him from the darkness of reality for a moment. 

“Well, I have to sleep at some point,” he responded, laughing himself. 

“Call me when you get back to your hotel. I’ll be waiting.” 

Aaron hung the phone up quickly, peeking around the corner of the SFPD office they were currently set up in. Luckily, everyone was too busy to listen in on his personal conversations. He wondered what his team would think if they knew what was going on behind closed doors. Would they still stand around and trust the system they were working so hard to uphold? Because Aaron could barely stomach it. 

“Hey, we’ve got a problem,” Derek said, coming around the corner lookingfor his superior. 

“What’s going on?” 

“C’mon into the conference room. Garcia will explain everything.”

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He didn’t make it back to his hotel for another 12 hours. It was nearing 11 PM by the time he finally closed the door and could be done for the day. Although with his job, he was never really off the clock. 

He called (Y/N), pushing aside any exhaustion he had for a moment with her. She was there within twenty minutes, sneaking through the door, giggling and kissing quietly, trying to be secretive. It was risky, extremely risky for them to be together with his team just on the other side of a thin hotel wall. But he couldn’t help himself. A part of him wanted to get caught, be exposed, so they could stop sneaking around. He wanted to love her in front of everyone. 

He forgot about the case briefly as he lost himself in her flesh, kissing her soft skin and making love to her - twice. When the exhaustion finally overcame him, he crawled into her arms and let the horrors of his job overcome him. 

“It’s a bad one, this case,” he divulged, knowing he shouldn’t be telling her the details, but needed a release. He needed to scream, and she was the only one around to hear. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Some CEO’s kid has been going all around the country killing teenage girls. Eevrytime the police get close to him, he just runs. Five different cities, and he’s escaped them all. Thirty six bodies that we can find. Probably more. And he’s going to get away, here, too. Garcia found out he sold his house a few days ago and bought one in Miami.” 

“Well if you know it’s him, why aren’t you arresting him?” (Y/N) had a confused look on her face, her eyes wide and her lips forming a slight pout as she waited for him to respond. 

“We don’t have enough physical evidence. He fits the profile perfectly, and we are able to trace bodies to him in every city he’s lived in. But that’s not good enough for the courts. He’s just going to keep getting away…” Aaron felt his heart pounding, the face of Foyet flashing over and over in his head. 

“Sometimes… the system doesn’t help everybody.” She wasn’t looking at him, her eyes darting nervously around the room. 

“That’s why people like you exist, right? To serve justice to those who escape it.” 

“That’s one way of looking at it.” 

Aaron looked at her, her cheeks flushed and her breathing sporadic. They were thinking the same thing, it was only a guessing game on who would break the silence first. He didn’t think it would be here, she was too nervous. 

“(Y/N)...” he whispered, placing a hand on hers. 

“What are you asking me to do, Agent?” She finally looked up at him, her face flat and emotionless, a side of her she had never shown him before. It was her work face, her business face. 

“I want you to do your job, A.” 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” 

“It’s the only way to stop him.” 

“Okay. I’ll take care of it.” She got up out of the bed and started putting her clothes back on, slowly redressing herself as she prepared to go back to work. She grabbed one of the three phones she carried, hastily dialing a number and putting the old cell to her ear. 

“Hey, it’s me. I need the car here ASAP, and the bag... Yeah, it’s a change of plans. … I’ll tell you in the car.” She hung the call up and put the phone back in her bag, refusing the look at Aaron the entire time she was preparing herself. 

“You’re doing this now?” He laughed, getting up and trying to stop her from leaving. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, her body struggling to get away. She felt tense, tired. Her body was no longer surrounded by it’s usual warm glow. She was cold, and dark. She wasn’t her.

“Agent, if this is what you want, I need to handle it my way. Please let me go.” 

“Will you… can I see you after?” 

“I need to leave the city immediately after it’s done. And it’s best we don't talk for a bit. I can call you when I think things are safe.” 

“How long is a bit? I mean, I don’t want to give you up.” 

“You can’t have both, Aaron. Either I’m (Y/N) or I’m Ananke. Do you want more girls to die? Or do you want a girlfriend?” She was yelling, her voice a loud and intense version of itself that he was unfamiliar with. It made him dizzy. He sat down clumsily on the bed and put his face in his hands. 

“Kill him,” he mumbled. She was quiet for a few seconds, and so was he. And awkward silence. Something they had never had. He felt like she was staring at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“I’ll call you when I can, Agent. It’s been wonderful working with you.” 

Aaron swore as she walked out the door he could hear her cry. Maybe he was making it up to make himself feel better. There was no way she could walk away that easily and not … hurt. He hurt, so terribly bad. How long was a bit? A few weeks, months? Would he ever see her again? 

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Aaron awoke to a loud banging on his door and his phone buzzing like crazy. The ringer was on, but not loud enough to awaken him from his alcohol assisted slumber. He shouldn’t be drinking on the job, he knew that rule better than anyone. But he had to shut his mind up. 

He opened the door to a rattled Derek Morgan, his forehead sweating and hands shaking. 

“You are not going to believe this,” Derek said, chuckling slightly. 

“What’s going on, Morgan?” Aaron knew what he was going to say, but he had to pretend to be surprised. Would Derek know? He was by far the best profiler on the team. How long could Aaron keep up a lie before Derek figured something out? 

“Our unsub died last night. Car accident. He hit a railing and his car just… exploded.” Derek held his tablet out to Hotch, showing him various photos from the scene. His car was completely crushed and torched. You could see his body, but there was absolutely no way to tell what was happening at the time of the accident. The damage of the car was far too elaborate to find any remnants of explosives- if that’s what she used. But whatever she did, it was brilliant. There was no way anyone would think twice about this. She was brilliant. 

He could feel himself smiling, being impressed with her work- but he remembered Derek was still standing there, unknowing of the secrets Aaron held. 

“Well, I guess we can finally get the hell out of San Francisco,” Aaron laughed. 

“You think this is the end? He just dies in a freak accident and it's over? Are we that lucky, Hotch?” Derek’s eyebrows were furrowed in the classic way his face always looked when he was suspicious. 

“He’s not around to hurt anyone else, and that’s the end of it. Our jobs are done here. I want wheels up in an hour.” 

Derek just nodded in agreement with his supervisor, realizing it wasn’t worth the argument. Aaron was right, the bad guy was gone and that was good enough for him. 

Aaron closed the door to his hotel, grabbing his phone and dialing her number. He had assumed she’d already disconnected the line, severing their connection for the time. But it rang, and somebody answered. 

“A…?” he whispered, waiting for her voice. 

“You shouldn’t be calling this number,” a man responded, a voice he recognized as Jays. 

“I know, I know, but please. Please just tell her something for me.” Jay was silent for a moment, deciding what to do. 

“... What?” He asked, quietly. 

“Please just tell her I said thank you. For everything.” 

And then the phone disconnected. The call was over. She was gone. For who knows how long? 

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One week later, SSA Aaron Hotchner was sitting in his office when Erin Strauss walked through his door. She didn’t knock, which made him jump. She walked right in and sat down on his couch, taking a deep breath. A disappointed sigh. 

“Hello, Erin.” 

“Agent Hotcher.” She looked at him angrily, her lips pursed and eyes tight as she thought of her words. 

“What can I do for you?” 

“In all honesty, Aaron… did you think we wouldn’t find out? You are a federal agent. Your passport is flagged any time you enter a foreign country. You were in Paris at the same time as her. And then San Francisco? She was there on assignment and your uncatchable unsub just happens to turn up dead?” 

“Am I fired?” He asked, his only thought on what they were doing to her. 

“Aaron… what are you doing? You are losing yourself! If this is about Haley…”  

“Just tell me something. What are you going to do to her?” He bit his lip nervously, Erin avoiding his eye contact.

“Right now she’s being relocated, on a six month assignment. We’ll see what happens after that.” 

“Where?” 

“You know I can’t tell you that!” 

Aaron sat for a moment, completely unsure of what to say next. Maybe Erin was right, he had lost himself. He would’ve never imagined himself in this situation. 

“What do I do now?” 

“You move on. And you do your job, the right way. I’ll cut you some slack this time, Aaron. But if this happens again… there will be consequences. Do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Erin walked out of his office quietly, closing the door as she left. He waited a moment, a long moment, before pulling out his phone. He had to at least try to talk to her. Even if the number didn’t work. He had to try. 

But it rang. And this time he knew it was her who answered. 

“Agent.” She answered sharply. 

“Where are you?” 

“I’m still in DC, as of now.” 

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” 

“You know it doesn’t work like that. Either I go, or they send me to prison. I’m sorry, Aaron. But this… was destined to fail from the beginning.” 

“No, (Y/N). I don’t accept that. I love you.” 

“You can’t. I’m sorry, Agent. This is goodbye.” 

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

Revenge is Best Served out of the Ice

Warnings: Non con, dub con, death, cursing, blood, rough vaginal sex, other things, Bucky isn’t okay. 18+

Word Count: 2,529

Prompt: I’m as mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore

Pairings: Dark ex-Hydra Bucky / Ex-Hydra Reader

Summary: Reader is in hiding after the fall of Hydra.

~ Indicates a time change

--- Indicates a POV change

A/N: This is my very late submission to @kellyn1604 challenge hope you guys like it. I’ll be in the woods for about a week, but I’ll upload an equally late submission to a challenge when I get back. 

XXX

It was never meant to go down like this. You had answered a silly job as an assistant with a company; never did you think you’d be helping a man who leads a terrorist movement looking to take over the world. 

You wanted out the minute you saw the asset. The way Alexander treated him wasn’t human. Even though he insisted he wasn’t, he was an experiment of sorts, it still didn’t sit well with you. His icy cold eyes held life, even if they did make you queasy every time you looked into them. 

Very rarely did you go into where the assassin was kept with Pierce, but when you did he always stared at you until his attention was drawn back to his abusers. The instruments made you feel awful, so you avoided invitations inside as much as possible. The machines that tortured him when he did wrong, the ice he was put in to keep him alive, the electricity that would go through his brain to make him forget. You wondered how old he truly was and who he was. Did he have a family? What did he do to get here?

~

You gasped as you woke up with a jolt from your nightmare. The same blue eyes that had met yours for 5 years refused to go, even in your dreams. You saw him everywhere; the Winter Soldier. After he was ordered to kill Captain America, Hydra was found out. Many were arrested and tried, some people had to go into hiding, including yourself, and others were ordered to rebuild under a new name. After Alexander was killed you had faked your death and ran away to Vienna. Nobody knows where the Winter Soldier went. 

That all had been nearly two years ago. You had moved on in every sense. You had gotten a new job, and this one you loved. Sure, it wasn’t anything you dreamed of doing as a little girl, but it awarded you the privacy you sought. You weren’t ready to reconnect with the world yet. Plus the hours were flexible and no job beats the one where you can be at work in your home in your PJ’s. 

You went out once a week for groceries. You didn’t have a tv, a computer, and the only time you used your burner phone was for work. You kept yourself entertained with the old books left in your old apartment. It was a life different from the one you were used to, but that’s what you liked about it. 

Today was the day you go shopping for food. You sat up in your bed, noticing the little bit of sunlight that passed through the black blankets you’d hung on the windows as makeshift curtains. 

You got up and started your routine before heading out the door. The small market was filled with buyers bargaining for better prices and sellers yelling their final price. You make your way from the seafood to the fruit; the seafood was always the first thing to go in the market. Vienna seemed to have too much fruit. 

As you’re checking out the apples you start feeling watched. You look around but see nobody. Weird. You get enough fruit to keep you satiated for the week so you leave the market as soon as you can. The less human contact and time outside as possible the better, and you were starting to feel off. Someone was watching you, you could feel it, but no matter how many times you turn you see nobody looking. Thank God the walk home is short. 

When you get near your apartment you run up the brick stairs and shove the key into the door, pulling it open and slamming it closed then locking it. You didn’t realize you had been running until you tried to catch your breath and calm your crazy heart. 

You look outside through the peephole before concluding nobody followed you. And if they did they at least left you alone for now. You walked to the kitchen to set down the mesh grocery bag before unloading everything. 

That’s when you heard it. 

The only way into this apartment other than the front door was the fire escape that was connected to the window in your bedroom. The sound of the window opening, no matter how faint it was, has been trained by you to be heard. Your irrational fears of being robbed or found while you're sleeping has finally helped you as you quietly reach for the knife on the counter. 

You continue unpacking and pretend like you didn’t hear a thing in order to trick the intruder. You keep the knife in front of you on the counter, hidden by your body, as your ear strains to listen to what’s happening behind you. 

“You don’t live where I expected.”

Your eyes widened at the voice. The amount of times you heard that voice is less than the amount you saw the face connected to it, but you could recognize it in a concert of sounds. 

You spin around with the knife in your hand to see the man who plagued your nightmares. The Winter Soldier.

He looked down at the puny weapon in your hand. It would do little to protect yourself against the super soldier, but it helped your confidence a bit. He smiled at your shaking grasp on the knife.

“Do you think that’ll work?”

“What are you doing here?”

The man narrowed his eyes at you a bit before ignoring your question. He made a move and you stuck out the knife in a threatening manner. It did nothing to the assassin as he reached for the milk you had just bought, and popped the cap off before taking a few sips. He wiped his mouth before continuing. 

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You’re hard to trace, you know.” Your breathing is getting more erratic and your heart is beating so loud you can hear it. But even if you couldn’t you know the superhuman before you could. “Do you remember me?” His eyes seem searching, like he’s not sure he’s got the right person. Or if he’s confused as to why you’re scared to see him. 

“Yes.” The man nods at your response. 

“After my last mission I was on the run from Hydra. I wasn’t sure what would become of it, but after figuring out I started a plan. I started tracking down the people who the government failed to bring into custody and killing them one by one.” Fuck. “At first I wasn’t looking for you, you hadn’t hurt me after all. I could see your hesitation every time you saw me.” Then why are you here? “But then I remembered the way you looked at me. How disgusted you were. You saw me for the monster that I was.” The man paused, waiting to see if you’d argue. You didn’t. You couldn’t. He was right, even if you felt bad for him, you saw him as a war machine, murderous monster.

“So, I tracked you down. I found you on a car camera at the market, but you never leave. I thought I had the wrong place for the longest time, but today I finally saw you. моя маленькая сука.” The blue eyes that haunted you weren’t dead anymore, they held a flame now that terrified you. 

“Listen, I’m sorry. I am. If I had any idea what was going on I would’ve never accepted the job. I was just trying to work, I’m sorry. Please, just go.”

The man just scoffed at your words. “You would’ve never taken the job, but you wouldn’t have helped me. You wouldn’t have helped innocent people. You think I wanted to kill all those people? I still see their faces, no matter how many times they fried my brains, I can’t fucking forget! I don’t have the option to just run away. Unlike you, you fucking bitch!”

You jumped as he was starting to get angrier, the container of milk crushed in his metal fist, leaking down to the floor. Tears started to sting your eyes and you were shaking even worse. “Please, I get why you’re angry, but you don’t have to do this.”

“And you didn’t have to keep quiet for all those years, but you did. Didn't you?” You shook your head. He didn’t get it, you could’ve died. You had no choice but to stay silent. “My name’s James Buchanan Barnes by the way. Everyone called me Bucky. I had a life, a family, friends. A career that I loved. Hydra took all that from me and turned me into the thing you see today. I should’ve died a long time ago; but now I’m as mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

The soldier suddenly lunged at you, twisting your wrist causing you to scream out. You dropped the knife to the floor with a clang, and you were shoved against the counter with your back to the man who had broken back into your life. 

“I could easily kill you, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t always have a thing for you. The way your ass would look in your pencil skirts, it made me feel normal again, the feelings I’d get when I’d see you. Well, that is until Hydra just fucked me up again.” He whispered low in your ear as you felt him unbuckling his pants. Your struggles were kept to a minimum due to the metal arm holding your body uncomfortably close to the wooden counter. 

“I used to even daydream about a life with you. White picket fence, big house, two kids, the whole nine yards. The normal shit I had as a kid.” the man dryly chuckled, “How stupid of me.”

Without warning he slaps your ass. Hard. He gripped your panties before shoving them down your legs, riding your dress up your thigh to reveal yourself to him. You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt your face get hot with embarrassment. 

The soldier suddenly drops to his knees and grabs your ass cheeks in his hands, spreading yourself more for him to see. He moaned before diving right in, licking at you slit. You moaned out before you could catch it with your hand causing the man to groan into your core. 

“You like that don’t you?” Slap. “Fucking slut.” 

The man continued to eat you out as you reached hopelessly for an escape. He held you steady and firm up to his face, and you had no control over the vulgar sounds that were leaving your mouth. 

You let out a high pitched scream as the soldier started sucking on your pearl of nerves, driving you over the edge into ecstasy. He continued to suck up all that you had to offer him before standing up.

“You’re slutty cunt has me hard as a fucking rock, you know that?” Another slap to your backside has you jolting forward just a bit and groaning out at the pain that blurred the line of pleasure.

You heard more clothes shuffling before you felt something hot poke at your entrance. “Ready Babygirl?” The man chuckled as you shook your head. 

“Please, you can still stop! I won’t tell anyone, just let me go!”

“Aw, imagine it being your choice.” With that he shoved himself to his limit within you. You both moaned out at the feeling of your walls stretching around the thick member inside you, pulling at him as he moved deeper.

“You’re tighter than I always imagined, Doll.” the soldier moaned into your ear, starting to find a rhythm inside you. He wasted no time using your body as his toy. He deserved this after all that Hydra put him through. After all that you allowed him to be put through.

“Y-you’re hurting me!” 

“Good.”

You’re closing your eyes so hard you can see stars. You feel hot tears escape from your eyes as you’re trying to wait out the torture your body was being subject to. Pretty soon the pain is too much and you’re sobbing.

“What are you crying for, bitch?” the man grabs a handful of your hair and yanks it back, your scalp burning from his roughness, “You don’t get to cry, not after what you let happen to so many people. You don’t know true pain.” He shoved your head forward and you barely miss hitting your head on the counter. Your neck still hurt from his force, though. 

The Winter Soldier’s movements start to get harder and he starts hitting a spot within you that makes you clench around him, your orgasm creeping up in your lower stomach.

“That’s right, clench my cock, cunt. Just like that and I’ll cum for you. You’ll like that won’t you?” Bucky slapped your ass three times before grabbing your left cheek, making you squeeze him again. “Answer!”

“Yes! Please cum inside me, Bucky!”

That was a mistake.

Bucky shoved your hips into the counter for sure causing bruises to rise. You cry out, more tears escaping down your hot and inflamed cheeks. “Don’t call me that. It’s sergeant to you,” The man growls out at you, “You know that? I was a fucking sargeant before this shit. Respected. Now look at me,” he chuckles humorlessly. 

You can feel blood trickle down your leg as the sergeant continues to abuse your pussy, any orgasm you might’ve had is gone now, replaced with a painful yet numb ach. 

“God, fuck-” You feel warmth spill into your channel as the soldier stills inside you. He pulls out of you, letting your weak and overused body fall to the tile floor painfully. You draw your legs up to your chest as you examine the blood on the floor, some of it gushing out from under your inflamed core. You have no idea what he fractured, he had to have done something, but it sure as Hell hurt. 

You hear a click and look up just as a loud bang is heard. Then everything went black.

---

Bucky looked down at the woman he just fucked, saw how the blood trickled from the bullet wound in her head down to the floor to mix with the blood from her pussy. 

He looked around at the dump she called an apartment. It is a place where nobody can trace easily, he thought. She was the last person he had to kill on his path of revenge, and now he needed somewhere to lay low. Maybe he’ll stay, nobody will realize a difference. The bitch never talked to anyone or interacted with people, and those who did know she existed would probably assume she left or that he was her boyfriend or something. They wouldn’t ask questions. They didn’t care.

Bucky finished putting the food she had gotten away before working on disposing of the body. He smiled to himself, content with the job he had done. It wouldn’t right all his wrongs, but it certainly helped. Besides, revenge is best served out of the ice. 

XXX

Tags: @coconutqueen21 @kellyn1604 @jtargaryen18 @collette04 @nsfwsebbie @what-just-happened-bro @gigistorm @avengerimscreaming @venusavengers @saharzek @navybrat817 @bucksgoat @xoxabs88xox

[halstudandruz]

Watch My Lips (NSFW)

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Antonio Dawson x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Antonio steps up to teach the reader a few things

Warnings: Smut (18+), swearing

A/N: I took a small page out of the Peter and Gabby book (I really miss Mills) anyway I don’t in any shape or form speak Spanish so blame google translate if anything is wrong, what they’re saying will be in English in parenthesis after just in case.

“Dawson, we need you.” Hailey yelled coming out from the back. Looking up from his desk he gave Jay a questioning look, “he only speaks Spanish.” Upton explained. Antonio nodded closing his file before locking his gun up and following her back. You contemplated between continuing to work or going to watch your partner question the suspect for a few seconds before giving into yourself. Against your better judgment you saved your file on your computer getting up to walk back as well. Kim catching your arm as you passed her desk amused smirk covering her face,

“What?” You asked.

“Where are you going?” She wondered.

“Just going to watch.” You shrugged making her smile grow wider,

“And is there any particular reason you’re going to stand back there and listen to people talk in a language you don’t understand?” She raised an eyebrow at you making your face blush a deep shade of red shifting on your feet,

“Shut up!” You begged looking around to make sure nobody was watching, making her laugh loudly.

“Hey I ain’t here to judge just here to enjoy the show.” She winked, turning back to her computer. Sighing loudly you shoved her in the arm taking the steps to head back to the room opposite of Antonio.

So, Kim may have been your best friend and might have known about your crush on Antonio. Of course taking any opportunity to tease you about them as if she wasn’t doing the same things with Ruzek. Antonio was hot any day of the week, but add on him speaking a different language, being able to watch the way it rolls off his tongue, and the confidence he has while doing it, had you sweating, heat rising in your body.

“Hey.” Jay spoke coming up behind you, making you jump a mile as he laughed out loud. “Looking a little flustered there [Y/L/N].” He smirked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Halstead.” You huffed.

“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. You might want to pull yourself together before Voight comes in though.” Jay winked, an accusing smile on his face.

————

You were a little zoned out heading back to the district later in the day. Antonio was talking your ear off, but your mind kept drifting. You were normally really good at keeping your thoughts and feelings at bay, but looking at him today for some reason caused a wetness to pool between your thighs. Could’ve been his new haircut, could’ve been the way his jeans fit him just right, or maybe the v-neck he was supporting that day because damn you weren’t sure how his arms even fit in it to be honest fighting the urge to reach out and squeeze them.

“Earth to [Y/N]?” Antonio cleared his throat making your eyes shoot up to meet his face immediately turning red.

“Yeah? Sorry what were you saying?” You swallowed, turning to look away from him.

“I’m just saying someone is going to have to learn Spanish before I retire.” Antonio pointed out.

“Yeah cause lord knows that’ll be sooner rather than later.” You teased, stealing a glance as his eyes focused on the road.

“Haha, very funny.” He shook his head hiding a chuckle, “I think you’re going to have to be the one to step up though,” he continued making you laugh,

“Yeah let’s pretend that would happen.” You rolled your eyes, but the smirk on his face never left making you suspect he wasn’t joking, “Antonio, no. I’m not taking a Spanish class.” You crossed your arms against your chest.

“You don’t have to, I'll teach you.” He shrugged, putting the car into park after reaching the district’s parking lot.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to hire someone who speaks Spanish?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. Probably. This will be more fun though. Come over to my place at 7. I’ll even make you dinner.” He smiled getting out of the car.

“Antonio! I don’t-“ You started to protest before he closed his door cutting you off and heading back into the district without you. Sighing you followed him knowing it was going to be a long night ahead of you.

——————

“This is so a date.” Kim giggled helping you with your makeup.

“It is not!” You retorted for the thousandth time.

“No? Then why are you so concerned about how you look?” She questioned.

“Maybe cause I never get to look nice and for once I’d like to take advantage of it.” You shrugged knowing deep down she could see through you.

“Sure. Okay. We’ll go with that.” She nodded an obvious smirk on her face. “You’ll tell me how he is thought, right?” She continued after a few minutes, making you groan, covering your face with your hands.

—————-

Walking up to Antonio’s door your heart was in your throat. This was nothing new, being at Antonio’s house. He was your partner and you were together regularly even outside the job, but knowing you were going to have to listen to him talk to you in Spanish all night while simultaneously keeping your composure already had your knees weak and your head doubting yourself.

Dinner was good. He had always been a good cook and you enjoyed watching him. You had talked mostly about work which wasn’t a surprise. Eva and Diego coming up frequently too as they were his pride and joy. Which you admired even more. You loved watching him with them even on the bad days the love you could see in his eyes was more than any words he could ever string together and that had you falling even deeper every time.

You were now seated on his couch nursing a glass of wine as he sipped a bottle of beer. Seated just close enough to him that your knee would slightly bump against his every so often.

“You know it’s really not that hard.” He teased.

“It’s your first language! I’d say the same thing about English.” You retorted.

“Do you know anything?” He chuckled, resting his arm against the back of the couch which caused his hand to land against your shoulder. Taking a deep breath you tried your best to ignore it before answering,

“Uh no not really. Just the real basic stuff we have to know. I didn’t even take it in high school. I took French.” You shrugged while taking a drink.

“Yeah? How’d that work out for you?” He asked, amused.

“I don’t remember any of that either anyway.” You chuckled. It started off simple naming things around his house. Following his lead.

An hour later your body was starting to heat up from the wine and listening to Antonio’s hidden accent come out even more prominently had a certain impact as well. So, whenever he started rolling his r’s you could hardly contain yourself wondering what it’d feel like against your own tongue.

“Come on try it again.” He laughed setting another empty beer bottle aside.

“Tonio, I can’t.” You whined setting your almost empty glass on the coffee table next to you.

“One more time. For me?” He smiled brightly at you as you huffed giving in. “Just start slow. Por favor (please).” He repeated and you could swear you heard a whine slip through your own mouth, breath starting to get heavier as you listened to his smooth words flawlessly falling out of his mouth. Taking a deep breath you tried again,

“Por favor.” But it ended as ungraceful and clunky as all the other times, making Antonio laugh loudly. “It’s not funny! I told you I couldn’t do this.” You frowned laying your hand on his knee.

“Alright just watch my lips.” He tapped his mouth, and he didn’t have to tell you twice. As if you hadn’t been already. Nodding you chewed at your bottom lip, inching just a little closer unintentionally. “Por fa-“ he started your lips cutting him off without a second thought. You didn’t remember leaning in, you didn’t remember your mind telling you to do it, but now your lips were tangled with his, hands fisted into his shirt. Antonio didn’t move, didn’t react to your lips on his. Which had you pulling back, your mind catching up to what you were doing.

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry.” You begin to apologize, backing away from him, going to stand up in a rush, panic beginning to set in as you realized what you did. Before he grabbed your wrist pulling you back down to him, but this time closer.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Am I sure about being sorry? Yes, I di-“ But he cut in.

“I don’t believe you.” He smirked one hand landing on your waist, the other on your neck. You gulped not saying anything making him smile and lean into you this time. You gladly welcomed the feeling of his lips on yours again this time relaxing into it. Noticing how he smelled even better this close, how soft his lips were, and how smooth his hair felt as you threaded your fingers through it pulling him impossibly close. He picked you up, sliding you into his lap effortlessly. Pulling back to get a breath before moving to your neck.

“Antonio. Are y-oh,” you moaned feeling him nip behind your ear trying to compose yourself as you continued, hands grasping at sleeves of his shirt, “are you sure about this?” You eventually got out between a few deep breaths and whines. Antonio kissed your shoulder gently before leaning back to look at you, hands resting on your hips.

“Completely. Are you?” He answered.

“If you think you can keep up, old man.” You teased. Laughing he pulled you back to him, tongue immediately sneaking into your mouth, beer taste still existent, but you couldn’t have cared less, hands slipping under his shirt to feel his stomach and you were pleasantly surprised at the hardness. Curious now to see what was underneath up close you tugged at his shirt breaking to pull it over his head when he lifted his arms. Throwing it to the side, hands returning to his abdomen to admire his broad shoulders and perfect chest. “Oh hell yes.” You gaped causing him to chuckle below you.

“What are you thinking?” He asked as you traced your fingers over his scars, leaning down to answer,

“Lots of bad, bad things.” You replied nipping at his ear lobe which earned you a growl from grinding against him at the same time. He moved to pull your tank top off leaning down to leave gentle kisses across the neckline of your bra once it was tossed to the floor. Slowly unclipping it behind you and letting it fall between the two of you. Watching his eyes roam over your body had you immediately self conscious which he sensed.

“Hermosa.” He whispered, hands moving up your body.

“What’s that mean?” You asked.

“Beautiful.” He smiled, taking your breasts into his hands, moving his thumbs over your nipples as you sighed loudly. Closing your eyes tight when his mouth attached to one. Trying to keep from making too many sounds so early on you bit your lip feeling his fingertips digging into your hips encouraging you to move against him again. Gladly you moved your hips teasingly slow against the stiff cock pushing evidently against his jeans earning you a hard bite on your chest that without a doubt would leave a mark. “You want to tease now?” He looked up at you, cockiness in his voice, lips swollen from yours. Lip still trapped between your teeth you nodding looking down at him to see the lust in his eyes grow by the second. “You know I’m not stupid, right?” He chuckled moving to unbutton your jeans, “I could feel your eyes on me all day baby. Even in the two-way glass. I couldn’t see you, but I knew you were watching me.” He leaned up to kiss you reaching his hands under your thighs to pick you up and move you to his bed. Laying you down gently when he reached the edge, “Admit it, [Y/N]. Tell me I’m not wrong.” He pushed one hand holding himself up as the other cupped your face looking down at you.

“You’re not wrong.” You admitted flattening your palms against his chest and slowly moving them down. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you no matter how hard I tried.” You swallowed hard one hand moving to cup him and push against his jeans making him gasp eyes closing tight for a second as he pushed against your hand.

“I wanted to take you in that car today. So bad. Feeling your eyes all over me. Trying to be inconspicuous. I’ve wanted to do this for so long, [Y/N].” He confessed rubbing a thumb against your cheek staring hard at you.

“Me too.” You agreed smiling up at him.

“That’s all I needed.” He smiled back giving you a quick kiss before leaning up to slide your jeans and panties down your legs, humming in satisfaction when he leaned up to look over you, “you’re even more gorgeous than I imagined every night.” He winked, kneeling down landing on his knees before pulling you closer to the edge of the bed moving your legs so they rested on his shoulders. He kissed from your ankle to the top of your thigh before stopping and moving to the other leg leaving sloppy kisses and bite marks along the way of each. No doubt purposely avoiding where you needed him most. You could feel yourself growing wetter every second at the anticipation, starting to drip onto your thighs absolutely in awe at the sight of a shirtless Antonio in between your legs.

“Antonio...come on, please.” You whined wiggling closer to his face and feeling the huff of his laugh hit your core causing you to buck your hips unintentionally.

“That’s not what I taught you.” He teased leaving tiny kisses closer and closer to your center.

“Baby..” You huffed running your fingers against his hair.

“Just like I taught you, princesa (princess) and I’ll make you feel so good. I promise.” He bargained moving his hands to hold your hips down.

“Antonio...” you cried before seeing he wasn’t gonna give in sighing you tried, “Por favor.” coming out better than before but still not perfect.

“Good girl. I don’t think you’ve ever been sexier.” He winked before moving his mouth to connect with your core, a moan immediately escaping you as your head fell back. If you thought he was good with his tongue before you had absolutely no idea. It took mere minutes for you to be a moaning mess shoving his face deeper into you and thank god he had your hips pinned down or the man wouldn’t have been able to breathe.

“Yes baby that feels fucking incredible.” You croaked. Your head was swimming as his tongue covered every inch of your pussy in the most amazing way possible. Summoning all of your strength to push him away seconds before you came. You watched as he backed away using his shoulder to wipe his mouth off leaving it glistening as he came back to his feet. Leaning down again to kiss you,

“Sorry I was too close.” You apologized once you broke apart.

“That was the goal.” He joked kissing your cheek and standing back up to undo his belt stepping out of his jeans and boxers and kicking them to the side. Whistling you moved up the bed some pulling him back down on top of you catching him by surprise.

“Ugh. Careful love.” He laughed adjusting himself.

“What? Am I gonna hurt you or something?” You teased moving your hand down to wrap around his shaft. Pleasantly surprised to find how thick it was in your hand.

“Yeah you wish.” He groaned when you started moving your hand. “Fuck.” He cursed.

“What?” You asked.

“I don’t have condoms.” He sighed, closing his eyes as you started to speed up your hand.

“What? You didn’t plan for this?” You joked.

“Maybe in my dreams.” He smirked thrusting into your palm.

“I’m on birth control. So as long as you're clean...” You trailed off letting go of him to lick the precum that had leaked out onto your hand.

“Of course I am.” He looked down at you in disbelief.

“Hey, shit happens.” You shrugged.

“You think the hottest detective in the city wouldn’t be a little careful about who they jump into bed with?” He joked.

“Well you know Halstead isn’t always the brightest.” You shot back.

“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes. You shrugged, grabbing ahold of him again and guiding him to your entrance wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him in closer., shivering at the feel of his cock rubbing against your clit for the first time. Using the tip of his cock to your advantage you moved it through the lips of your pussy adoring the way his dick slid perfectly between them, mouth parted soft sighs escaping every time the head brushed against your clit. Enjoying every second before you had enough of your own teasing moving your hips up to let him slide in, “Tell me one more time.” He looked down at you nervously.

“I want you, Antonio.” You reassured him. Sighing in relief his palms landed on each side of your face before he started to push himself in. Breathing through the slight sting your nails dug into his back pulling him closer. Enjoying the pain more than you ever had in your life. Each inch clenching him even deeper. He wanted nothing more than to thrust into you as hard as he could but he talked himself through his impulses stopping every few seconds for you to adjust until he finally bottomed out. Breaths heaving in your ear. He started slow obviously trying to keep his control, only pulling out slightly before pushing in. Just worried about loosening you up first or he was going to lose it before it even started, but as you started to feel the pleasure taking over it started to get agonizing, never having felt so full in your life, just wanting to feel him pound into you already. You had never been so happy to be on birth control giving you the ability to feel every throb, every twitch, every inch of his dick inside of you and that thought had you moaning out loud.

“Oh my god, baby.” He groaned against your neck at the sound and feeling of you.

“Come on handsome. I’m ready. Give it to me.” You encouraged holding his face in your hands. He moaned louder at your words, closing his eyes to avoid looking at you as he started to move faster and with each thrust the more you both lost yourselves in each other. In no time Antonio rested one of your legs on his shoulder giving him even deeper access than you ever thought possible, filling you to the absolute brim. His groans and sounds from his thighs hitting yours filled the room with each thrust making it even hotter. Shuddering his hips forward caused you to scream, hitting your sweet spot dead on. With his free hand he captured your wrists holding them tight above your head. You couldn’t believe the pleasure that was coursing through you was even possible before he leaned down capturing a nipple in his mouth and you swore you blacked out for a second screaming Antonio’s name. “Nobody has ever fucked me like this baby. You’re mouth, your tongue, your cock my god. You love making me scream from it all don’t you?” You got out between a series of moans. Antonio couldn’t answer you fully only able to get out a loud,

“Fuck, [Y/N].” You could tell he was close. From his sloppy thrusts and his moans to his cock starting to throb in you. You were close too right on the edge ready to fall any second. Moving your eyes up from where you two were connected up his body that was glistening from sweat rolling down from his chest, to his face where his mouth hung open groans and curse words flowing from it without shame and when you met his own eyes completely full of lust staring down at you that was the end. Stars clouding your vision as your eyes closed tightly, mouth falling open in a silent scream, hips bucking up, and thighs tightening around different spots of Antonio. You came back just in time to feel Antonio’s cock twitch, his body stiffening, nails digging into your wrists, and head falling into your shoulder muffling a moan that would’ve been sure to wake up the whole neighborhood as he spilled himself into you completely. Eventually the room was silent besides your heavy breaths. Antonio eventually pulling out slowly and rolling off you. No words were spoken or movements made for a few minutes until you decided to break the silence.

“Every night huh?” You smirked turning on your side towards him making him chuckle.

“Maybe not every night.” He smiled pulling you to his chest.

“But close to?” You continued.

“Damn near.” He kissed the top of your head.

“I might have to send you some material then.” You looked up at him wiggling your eyebrows.

“Cannot say I’d be opposed to that.” He kissed you gently before standing up and walking into his bathroom carrying a cloth and water with him when he returned handing you the glass and nudging your legs apart to clean you.

“Well aren’t you a gentleman.” You took a drink before setting it on the night stand.

“I made the mess might as well clean it up I guess.” He shrugged kissing the inside of your knee as he did, before laying back down beside you gladly letting you cuddle back into him.

“You know that was like really incredible right?” You laughed looking up at him.

“Yeah? Not so bad for an old man huh?” He smirked.

“Yeah...young enough for round 2 yet?” You joked kissing at his chest squeezing his biceps.

“Only one way to find out I guess.” He lifted you back into his lap pulling you towards his lips. Later that night you would be sure to send Kim plenty of thumbs-up emojis (and maybe a few eggplants.)

[albertasunrise]

No More - Chapter 4

Summary: Frankie has been your best friend since you were in the 2nd grade. You were each other’s first’s, he, your first love and as you’d both gotten older you always somehow fell into bed together after one too many drinks with the boys. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this up but fate has other plans for you both and events are set in motion to decide for you.

Warnings: Angst, Bitch Ex, Fluff

Pairings: Frankie/ Reader

~

Frankie’s recovery was slow. His physio was extensive after having to have his left leg reconstructed and it meant it took him some weeks to build up the muscle strength in it again. He was on a concoction of drugs, pain and antibiotics, after he’d had to have his kidney and his spleen removed. The Millers had temporarily moved in with Frankie to take care of him when he was let out of the hospital and you’d gone around almost every evening so that he could spend time with Emma. You’d been shocked how quickly he’d taken to becoming a father, desperate to do anything to help that was within his capabilities. As time went on and he was well on the way to recovery he started to take more and more on, relishing being able to feed her, bath her and sing her to sleep. Neither of you though discussed the situation between the two of you. He’d not pushed the subject again, despite how desperate he was to confess how he felt but he knew that he had to prove himself and so he started with Emma.

‘So... I wondered if you had any plans this weekend.’ He says suddenly, pulling you from your book.

‘What do you mean?’ You ask as you turn your head to look at him, smiling as he bounces his smiley daughter on his knee.

‘Well, the doc said it’s important for me to be moving around and walking about.’ He starts, pulling a face at Emma and making her giggle ‘The weather is supposed to be really good this weekend. Thought maybe we could take Emma to the zoo.’

It had been four months since the accident. Frankie was able to walk unaided now and had been taking regular walks, often to get Emma to sleep as she always dosed off in her pram after she ate. He had really thrown himself headfirst into fatherhood and you’d noticed. A few times you’d seen him crying as you left for the night, his shoulders shaking as he tried to fight back the tears as he watched you leave. He’d received a monumental payout from the accident. Turned out the guy who had hit him was a multimillionaire and had paid Frankie a massive fee not to take him to court. He’s sad down with you, asked you what you thought and you’d appreciated him doing that, ultimately telling him to take the deal.

‘Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea.’ You reply as you smile at your daughter, her arms waving in delight at the attention she's getting from her parents.

‘I wanted to show you something.’ He said as he pulled her against his chest and stood up, holding his hand out to help you to your feet.

‘What?’ You ask as he leads up up the stairs.

A sense of Deja Vu washes over you as you walk up the stairs of his childhood home, eyes scanning over the photos that hung on the wall and smiling at the ones of you and him as children, the ones of his parents and now taking pride of place, Emma. He stops beside the door that had once been your bedroom, pushing it open and motioning for you to look as he bounces the baby in his arms. You look at him suspiciously as you take ginger steps towards the doorway, eyes growing wide with what greets you. The room had been completely transformed. The walls had been painted a subtle pink and a whitewashed Crib sat proudly to the middle of the wall on your right with a changing table sat opposite that was painted in a similar finish. Piled neatly in the corner were several stuffed toys and sat underneath the window was a chest that you recognised. It had been yours when you were a kid and you’d moved it with you when Frankie’s parents had taken you in. It was unchanged, just lovingly restored and when you walked over to it and carefully lifted the lid you sobbed when you saw the toys you’d kept inside are still there.

‘Thought maybe you might want to give them to Emma.’ He states as he takes a step inside, smiling against Emma’s cheek as she rests her face against his lips.

You close the lid and continue to scan your surroundings, smiling at the artwork that hangs on the walls and the mobile above the cot.

‘Do you like it?’ He asks, a little nervous at your continued silence.

‘I love it.’ You reply as you finally look at him, your smile spreading from ear to ear ‘When did you do all this?’

‘Well, I had some time on my hands.’ He chuckles ‘The guys helped me with it but I wanted to get something together for her.’ You nod as you watch Emma look around ‘There’s one more thing.’

You give him a bemused look, following him out of the nursery and down the hall to what you knew to be the spare room. This room was also different although in more subtle ways. There was a desk set up in the corner that adorned a large monitor and other computing equipment and in the far corner stood a tall mirror with an elegant wardroom and dresser beside it.

‘What is this?’ You ask, turning your head to look at him.

‘It kills me every night when you take her.’ He starts, the pain evident in his expression ‘I thought maybe if you had somewhere you could sleep, that some nights she can stay here. I know that you’re not comfortable leaving her yet so this way you don’t have to. This way I can help with night feeds and breakfast time.’

‘Frankie-‘

‘Please. Before you say no. At least think about it.’ He begs ‘I’m not asking you to move in here or anything. I’m just asking you to give me a chance to help more. I’ve even set a desk up so that you can work here and I can take care of her during the day. I’m not going to be able to work for a while so why not be a stay at home dad. The payout means I’m financially sound for a while.’

‘Frankie. I wasn’t going to say no.’ You chuckle, taking a few ginger steps towards him ‘I think this is a great idea.’

‘You do?’

‘I do.’ You reply, smiling at the goofy grin that spreads across his face.

‘Great!.’

~

‘What do you think she’ll want to see first?’ Exclaims Frankie excitedly ‘I think the penguins!’

‘Frank she’s 4 months old.’ You giggle ‘She’ll probably poop and fall asleep.’

You can’t help but love how excited he is about this day trip. He was insistent on wearing the baby carrier so that he could show her call the animals. You’d been concerned that his leg might struggle but he said he was fine. So here you are, him with a giggly Emma strapped to his chest and you with the buggy, pushing around the armoury of items that babies apparently require.

‘Oh look the penguins are this way.’ He says, practically skipping and you can’t help but chuckle at his excitement.

Sure enough, Emma is mesmerised by them, watching them swim with comically wide eyes as her little hands wave around as if desperately trying to pet them. The two of you coo at her as she laughs and wiggles with glee as one penguin seems to take a particular interest in her, smiling when she squeals at him waving his wing at her.

‘I think you made a new friend baby girl.’ He says sweetly as he places a kiss on the top of her head.

‘You have got to be kidding me.’ Comes a voice, pulling you both out of your family moment.

You and Frankie turn to see Emily stood across from you, arms crossed and her face red with rage.

‘So her brat is yours then?’ She spits, venom dripping from every word.

‘Emily-‘

‘This is hilarious. You cheat on me with her and knock her up in the process.’ She scoffs, eyeing Emma angrily ‘Poor kid. Having a dad like you.’

‘Don’t you dare speak to him like that!’ You growl, taking a step forward ‘He’s an amazing father to Emma. He went through hell four months ago but despite that he has gone over and above to show her how loved she is.’

‘Hell huh?’ She tuts as she tilts her head to the side ‘Fall of the bandwagon again did you Fish?'

‘His car got t-boned and he almost died actually.’ You state, taking pleasure in the shock that spreads across her face. ‘Lost a kidney and his spleen. Had to have his leg reconstructed and went through months of painful physio so that he could walk again and yet he still bathed her, fed her. Despite the pain, he was in. So he’s an incredible father and I’m just glad I was able to give him the chance to prove that…’

'Unlike you’

The guilt that flooded her features only inflated the satisfaction you feel in taking her down a peg. You could see her brain working, trying to find a comeback but struggling.

‘Why she so small?’ She finally says ‘You get on it whilst knocked up?’

‘I was in the car with him.’ You growl ‘Accident brought on an early labour and she ended up being a month premature.’

Her face paled at your statement but you felt no satisfaction now. She’d brought your daughter into this feud. She’d made it personal. She stood there for a moment, mouth opening and closing as she thought of what to say but in the end, she turned around and practically sprinted out of view, leaving you seething in silence.

‘You okay?’ Frankie asks finally as he places a friendly hand on your arm.

‘Yeah.’ You reply as you turn and smile at him ‘Yeah I'm fine.’

‘Thank you.’ He says, and you give him a confused look ‘For sticking up for me. I really hope that I’ll be a good dad to Emma.’

‘Frankie I meant every word.’ You state, your expression serious ‘You are an amazing father to Emma. She’s so lucky to have you.’

You see his cheeks pink at that, giving you a little nod as he places another kiss on his daughters head in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

‘Shall we go see the giraffes Bean?’ You ask as you stroke Emma’s cheek with your finger, giggling when she squeals in reply ‘Take that as a yes.’

‘Do you want to carry her for a bit?’ Asks Frankie as he watches you with her ‘I’ll push the pram.’

‘No, it's fine.’ You reply, smiling sweetly at him ‘I like watching you with her.’

Emma loved the giraffes even more. She wriggled like crazy as her hands grabbed at the docile creatures. One of the keepers had noticed her reaction and invited you over for snack time. You filmed on your phone whilst Frankie held his hand flat so the giraffe can eat the snack the zookeeper has given him and you desperately try to stifle your laugh when the creature's large blue tongue sloppily licks it out of his hand. Emma squeals with excitement at how close it had gotten but she quietened down when it lowered its head to inspect her, the keeper telling Frankie that it is okay to pet him. You couldn’t believe your eyes as you watch Emma, very gently, pet the giraffe's snout and you found yourself tearing up as your eyes lock with Frankie’s, the two of you amazed at how in tune she is with the creature. The keeper organised for the three of you to stop in on feeding time for a load of other animals, Frankie being particularly excited about the lions. You both stood there in awe of their majesty whilst Emma squeaks and squeals as she watches the cat pace in his cage ready for his food but she stops dead when one lioness starts to roar. The sound is so powerful it vibrates through you and you both look down at Emma, concerned that the sound will scare her. Instead, she is dead still, her eyes open as wide as they can go as she stares and the cat, her mouth slowly opening wider and wider. You both can't help but chuckle at her amazement and you share a loving glance sith each other, both in awe at how innocent she is.

Emma is fast asleep by the time you get back to the car and the two of you envy her. The day had proved to be an eventful one but one that you’d never forget. You’d Whatsapped the giraffe video to the boys and Benny had replied with several laughing emojis at Frankie's reaction.

New girlfriend Fish? He asked, and Will replied to that with a GIF of R2D2 falling flat on his face captioned DEAD.

Frankie just sent a middle finger emoji which elicited another flurry of amused responses.

‘Today was wonderful.’ You say sweetly as you buckle yourself in ‘Thank’s for suggesting it.’

‘I’m just sorry we bumped into her.’ He replies, his expression guilty.

‘No need.’ You reply as you press the start button for the car ‘She’s a bitch.’ You shrug before giving him a smile.

‘I wondered if maybe you’d like to get a pizza and stay tonight?’ He asks, changing the subject completely.

‘Sounds like a plan.’ You reply ‘Could murder a stuffed crust pepperoni.’

‘God yes.’ He replies ‘That’s why I love you.,’

You freeze at his exclamation and so does he, the two of you looking away awkwardly. You focus on the road whilst he looks in the back to check on Emma, smiling at her little feet twitching as she sleeps. He inwardly scolds himself for his slip. That’s not how he wanted to tell you. He just hoped you hadn't taken it so literally. When you pull into his drive you turn your head to see Emma starting to stir, her face scrunching as she yawns and her mouth forms an adorable O.

‘I’m just going to dash to the house and get some fresh clothes for me and her.’ You say as you turn to look at Frankie.

‘I’ll get her fed and watered then.’ He jokes ‘I’ll order the pizza too. Pepperoni yeah?

‘And stuffed crust.’ You clarify ‘Forget the stuffed crust and I’ll never forgive you.’

‘You’ve got it!.’ He replies with a small salute.

Hopping out of the car he grabs the baby from her seat and carries her inside, bouncing her in his arms as he grabs a bottle from the fridge and places it in the bottle warmer. Emma is more awake now and tugging insistently at the collar of his shirt.

‘Did you have a good day baby girl?’ He asks sweetly as he looks down at his daughter, smiling when she squeals in reply ‘So how is daddy going to woo mummy hmm?’ He asks her ‘How am I going to prove to mummy how in love with her I am?’

She just stares up at him with her big brown eyes, her lips pursing as she starts to blow raspberries at him.

'Should have known I wouldn't get a serious answer out of you.' He chuckles as the timer on the warmer dings to let him know the bottles done 'Right you hungry Bebé niña?'

She suckles eagerly on her bottle, eyes comically wide as her hands grab at it. He watches lovingly as he feeds her, unable to contemplate how one can love someone as much as he loves her. He'd known the moment he looked at her that she was his and he'd never been happier in his life. He found he couldn't be angry at you for keeping it from him. He'd not exactly given you a reason to but he was glad that you had in the end. That he now had the chance to be a father to this angel in his arms.

~

‘This pizza is heaven!.’ You say, rubbing your belly as you sink back into the couch.

‘Good.’ He replies as he turns his head to look at you ‘Gino does make the best pizza in town.’

‘Well, I’d agree with that statement!.’ You say as you smile at him.

The two of you share a lingering look. You can feel your heart speeding up when his hand brushes yours. His eyes drop to your lips before returning your gaze again and you find yourself leaning in, his hand suddenly resting on your hip as your lips brush against his. Then... Screams.

‘I’ll get her.’ You say as you roll your eyes and smirk at him, sprinting up the stairs to tend to a wailing Emma.

‘Thanks a lot, baby girl.’ Frankie grumbles as he scrubs his hand over his face ‘So close.’ He finishes as his head falls back against the couch.

~

Chapter 5