#a soul survivor || mia fey
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nemaliwrites · 8 months ago
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Ooh, are you doing separate fics for Angstpril this year instead of one long one? Can we see some of the ideas?
Yup! Figured it would be a good opportunity to finish up some of the ideas in my drafts.
And YES you can indeed see some of the ideas! These are all working summaries btw which is why they're....Like That lol. As always, if any of these appeal to you, I am always happy to provide excerpts and/or expand on these ideas!
Fandoms: Danganronpa (v3 and Thh), Avatar, Persona 5, Miraculous, Paranormasight, Ace Attorney, Persona 4, Vampire Diaries, Wind Waker, Animal Crossing, JJBA, Age of Mythology
Prompts:
1. homesick | danganronpa thh
The survivors take a road trip after the end of the world.
2. frozen | avatar the last airbender
outsider pov, Yue being touched by the moon spirit manifests in strange ways.
3. broken-hearted | persona 5
Akira and Shiho get together. Ryuji and Ann deal the only way they know how (hooking up)
4. longing | miraculous
Zoé is used to loving people who don't love her back.
5. rise from the ashes | paranormasight
Ayame and the men in her life (derogatory)
6. this isn’t going to work | ace attorney
Dahlia is poison. This is not a good thing.
7. bad dreams | miraculous
falling in love with your sleep paralysis demon (mariblanc)
8. lost battle | miraculous
They say snakes can't feel love. Luka wishes this were true.
9. trust issues | ace attorney
Two children visit Lamiroir in the hospital, and they say they are hers. She doesn't believe them.
10. phantom pain | miraculous
Adrien and Marinette are body swapped; but why is she unable to resist any order Gabriel gives her as Adrien? Suspicious....
11. no way out | ace attorney
Mia promises to take Maya away from Aunt Morgan. It's a promise she never fulfills.
12. a little too late | persona 4
Yosuke starts training with Chie after Saki's death. It doesn't help.
13. learning the truth | ace attorney
Godot finds Morgan's letter to Pearl hidden in Kurain.
14. surrender | vampire diaries
Caroline/Tom Avery - they're both never anyone's first choice.
15. confrontation | ace attorney
Miles is a Fey. This changes things.
16. cry for help | new danganronpa v3
Miu doesn't have a soul mark. She definitely doesn't care.
17. last chance | persona 4
The fog's closing in, but they'll save Yukiko in time...right?
18. left behind | wind waker
Grandma's always wanted to be a hero.
19. trembling | miraculous
Masochism as a character study - Claw Noir Cataclysms Shadybug, but only after she asks him to.
20. broken | ace attorney
Phoenix offers poison; Kristoph takes it willingly.
21. faking a smile | animal crossing
Your friend is not the same; you pretend you see nothing.
22. drained | ace attorney
A children’s book author and a blind singer walk into a bar.
23. swept away | vampire diaries
Lexi and Alaric finally meet - but they're trapped together in the 1994 prison world.
24. the ghost of you | jjba
Shinobu and her husband swap bodies - whoever is in her now seems far too used to controlling a body that's not theirs.
25. cold shoulder | age of mythology
Kastor asks Arkantos for help. But the gods do not answer, and Arkantos is a god before he is a father.
26. grief | paranormasight and ace attorney
Harue travels to Kurain Village.
27. panicked | miraculous
Shadybug has the same mark for her soulmate and her greatest enemy.
28. never see you again | danganronpa thh
Outsider POV of the survivors after the killing game - but they think they're not alone.
29. betrayal | vampire diaries
It's far too easy for Jeremy to trust someone with his sister's face.
30. the last time | ace attorney
Thalassa forms a triangle; Zak and Valant are the other two points.
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logickept · 4 years ago
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"Oh, thank you. Although you wouldn't happen to have tea would you?" He asked. It wasn't that he disliked coffee, he just preferred to drink tea.
Miles looked down at the stone again. The logical part of him said it was just a rock and wouldn't help in anyway. But the other part of him wanted and needed to believe it would help. Sleep didn't seem to help regardless if he got a good night or not. He was still seeing things...
"Tonight is fine with me," he said not looking up from the stone.
logickept‌:
“I will admit that I haven’t been sleeping well… and I swear I’m seeing things, but that doesn’t exactly work when it’s tried to touch me. It wasn’t in a threatening way… or at least I didn’t think so at the time…”
The man tried to stifle a yawn, but failed. He’d only managed to get a couple hours of sleep each night this week and it was showing. “I don’t mind an evaluation of sorts. That might help put me at ease in general.”
“Can I make you a coffee? You look dead on your feet.” Mia was starting to feel tired just looking at him. She rose from her desk to head over to the small kitchenette in her office. She busied herself with her coffee setup and called over her shoulder, “That sounds great. How does tonight after work sound?”
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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years ago
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The Rest of the Weekend Warrior’s 2020 Top 25… and His Terrible 12 Movies!
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that my Top 10 has already appeared over at Below the Line, and you can either go there and read those first or start with the movies that fell just outside my top 10, including a few movies you might not have heard about.
Back at the very beginning of 2020, I made a private resolution that I would watch more screeners. This is because I had become quite legendary for publicists sending me screeners and me just not getting the time to watch them with all the running around I was doing to screenings. I will never make a resolution like that ever again. (In fact, if my 2021 resolution was to have more sex, I only really need to do it once.)
This year, I wrote (no joke) slightly under 300 reviews, which may be more than I wrote in the three years prior. Part of this was having extra time from not travelling around the city trying to get to screenings, but also, once I decided to transition my weekly box office column into a review column, I decided that I was gonna watch and review as many movies as I possibly could this year. I’m sure there are others who do this all the time, but man, I don’t know how you do it. There were days where I got so burnt out at staring at my laptop for 15 hours every day that I just had to stop.
Still, when you’re watching 300 movies in a single year, any movie that can get into my annual Top 25 (or even get an Honorable Mention) should feel somewhat honored.
Anyway, onto the second 15 movies in my Top 25 (click on the title for a link to each of my reviews!):
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11. Herself (Amazon Prime Video) – One of my more recent viewings is this film directed by Phyllida Lloyd  (Mamma Mia!) and starring British actress Clare Dunne (who also co-wrote the script) as a mother of two young girls who got out of an abusive marriage with a man who still shares custody with her daughters. She wants to give her girls a place to live so she decides to build her own house on a plot of land given to her as a gift. It’s such a simple premise but Lloyd and Dunne have made a wonderful not-too-heavy drama that still slams you with its raw emotions.
12. Jungleland (IFC Films) – I really enjoyed Max Winkler’s earlier movie Ceremony, but this underground boxing drama about two brothers (Jack O’Connell, Charlie Hunnam) was also a solid crime-drama that follows them on a road trip to deliver a mob boss’ mistress (Jessica Barden) back to him on their way to a big match. Winker really outdid himself in terms of the storytelling and somehow managed to avoid most of the normal boxing movie cliches while allowing this to stand up to some of the greats.
13. Palm Springs (NEON/Hulu) – One of the first of this year’s Sundance movies that really connected with me, Max Barbakow’s sci-fi comedy starred Andy Samberg as a guy stuck at a horrible wedding who ends up in a Groundhog’s Day situation with the wonderful Christin Milioti was so much fun. Adding to the madness was JK Simmons as a guy who seems to be out to get Samberg’s character for reasons we don’t learn until much later. Such a brilliant and hilarious movie with so much great re-watch value.
14. Soul (Disney•Pixar) – The latest from the animation studio that seemingly can’t do wrong – but that depends on who you ask – follows jazz pianist Joe (voiced by Jamie Foxx) who dies and ends up “The Great Beyond” desperate to get back to earth having just gotten his big break. Helping him (sort of) is a soul voiced by Tina Fey, and things don’t go quite as Joe helped. Co-written and co-directed by Kemp Powers, the film goes in a different direction from Docter’s last animated film, Inside Out, but still retaining some of the same metaphysical fabric that made that Oscar-winning animated film connect with adults just as much as with kids.
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15. Mangrove (Amazon Prime Video) – The debate on whether Steve McQueen’s latest “Small Axe Anthology”  should be deemed a TV series or five separate movies continues to rage as Amazon decides to save the movie for the Emmies. At  two hours long, Mangrove is the closest of the series to being a  great stand-alone film, and frankly, I thought it was better than McQueen’s Oscar-winning film, 12 Years a Slave. This told the true story of restaurant owner, Frank Crichlow (Shaun Parkes), and how he’s persecuted by the racist local police in the late ‘60s, but when he teams with a local Black Panther activist (Black Panther’s Letitia Wright), a protest march turns into a tense court trial for a number of people involved in it.
16. I Will Make You Mine (Gravitas Ventures) – Actor Lynn Chen’s directorial debut was actually the third movie in a trilogy of indie films centered around musician/songwriter Goh Nakamura, who appeared in all three films. I watched this the first time thought it was just okay. When I realized it was part of a series of films, and I went back and watched the other two movies, I was completely blown away by what Chen did within this finale. With movies, you generally only have a limited time to explore its characters, but like Richard Linklater’s “Before” movies, this movie helped to really create depth in the characters by revisiting them. I was kind of shocked that I hadn’t seen the other movies – few critics have – and though only 18 other critics reviewed this one, the film is still 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, which should tell you how good it is.
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17. Sylvie’s Love (Amazon Prime Video) – Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha starred in Eugene Ashe’s 50s-60s-set romantic drama about an early television producer and a jazz musician, following their relationship after a summer fling that ends with him leaving for Paris. Separated for years, she remarries and raise the child from her former lover, but then they reconnect and… well, you’ll have to watch it for yourself. It’s on Prime Video right now, so if you’re a subscriber, you have no reason not to. (And Erik Davis of Fandango had a great idea… watch this as a double feature with McQueen’s Lovers Rock from “Small Axe Anthology”!)
18. The Traitor (Sony Pictures Classics) – Last year’s Italian section for the Oscar International Film was a fantastic The Godfather-like crime-thriller, this one starring Pierfrancesco Favino as Tomassso Buscetta, a Palermo-based Casa Nostra family member responsible for the heroin trade in the ‘80s who flees to Brazil. It’s an amazing story showing that filmmaker Marco Bellochio did his research to create a movie that didn’t really get the critical love or attention it deserved.
19. Weathering With You (GKids) – And here is Japan’s selection for the Oscar International Film, a rare Anime film, this one by Your Name director Makoto Shinkai, this one more about a fantasy-romance about a young man who meets a young woman who can control the rain, which they turn into a lucrative business. I didn’t love it quite as much as Your Name, which was a truly inventive turn on the “body-switching” movie, but this also had some of the same characterizations that make Shinkai’s work so terrific, so it was impossible not to enjoy how it translated into his latest feature.
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20. Lingua Franca (ARRAY Releasing/Netflix) – Trans filmmaker Isabel Sandoval’s film was released in the same weekend as another movie with a trans lead, Flavio Alves’ The Garden Left Behind. While they were both good, Sandoval wrote, directed and starred in her movie which was about her character Olivia having a romance with a guy surrounded by transphobic bros. Olivia is also trying to get her green card, and the immigrant aspect of the film really added a lot to what seemed like a deeply personal film.
21. The Outpost (Screen Media Films) – I’ve been a fan of Rod Lurie’s work for almost as long as I’ve been writing reviews. In fact, one of my very FIRST movie reviews was for his movie The Last Castle in 2001. I’ve also been fortunate to call him friend. I’ve watched Rod transition into quite a skilled television director, but I been waiting over ten years for him to make a movie as good as his amazing political thriller, Nothing but the Truth. Working from Jake Tapper’s non-fiction novel, Lurie created a full-on and unapologetic war movie as good as Peter Berg’s Lone Survivor, Blackhawk Down or any other modern war film… but also a film as personal as any others released this year.
22. The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Netflix) – Aaron Sorkin’s second film as a director stepped things up, WAY up, as he decided to take on one of the more noted events that signified the famed “Summer of Love” of 1969, as a number of peaceful protesters were tried by the federal government for “inciting a riot.” The amazing cast included Eddie Redmayne, Sacha  Baron Cohen, Yahya Abdul-Mateen 2, Michal Keaton, Mark Rylance, Frank Langella, Jeremy Strong and many more. It was an abundance of acting riches and when you have such a fine wordsmith in screenwriter/playwright Sorkin, it’s hard to go wrong. The thing is that by the time I saw this, I had already seen Steve McQueen’s Mangrove, which in my opinion is a far superior version of a similar story from the same time period.
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23. Words on Bathroom Walls (LD Entertainment/Roadside Attractions) – A movie I didn’t expect much from but totally fell in love with was this romantic drama starring Charlie Plummer as Adam Petrozelli, a young man sent to a Catholic School where he hopes to keep his schizophrenia a secret from his new classmates. The film co-starred Taylor Russell from Waves as Adam’s friend and love interest, who also gets worried about Adam’s erratic behavior whenever he goes off his meds. Adam’s condition was shown by the personalities he interacts with, played by Anna Sophia Robb, Devon Bostick and Lobo Sebastian, but the movie also stars the great Molly Parker as Adam’s mother and Walton Goggins as her live-in boyfriend. All of this adds up to a great coming-of-age film from Thor Freudenthal that also became one of the first couple movies since March to test out theatrical waters months after the pandemic shutdown.
24. Sputnik (IFC Midnight) – An amazing Russian sci-fi thriller from Egor Abramenko (remember that name!) that’s likely to be compared to Alien  but adds so much more depth by taking place in communist Russia during the ‘80s. It stars Pyotr Fyodorov as a cosmonaut who brought something back with him from space and Oksana Akinshina as the psychologist who has to figure what is happening. It starts quite, reminding you of the original Russian film Solaris, but by the end, it gets pretty insane. More than anything, it finds a way of doing something original within an overused sci-fi trope.
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25. Parallel (Vertical Entertainment)  - Similarly, I had pretty low expectations for Isaac Ezban’s sci-fi/horror film about a group of Silicon Valley friends who discover a mirror that allows them to travel to and from alternate versions of their own dimension, which they use for criminal activities. Soon, some of them have gotten out of control with the power and money that this access gives them, but like Palm Springs, it’s a great take on another overused sci-fi trope that’s done so beautifully. (Warning: There have been a LOT of movies with this title in the last five years. Make sure you choose the right one!)
Honorary Mentions: The Prom (Netflix), Kindred (IFC Midnight), On the Rocks (A24/Apple TV+), Yellow Rose(Sony), Misbehaviour (Shout! Factory), Premature (IFC Films), Spontaneous (Paramount), The Climb (Sony Pictures Classics)
Oh, and as a reminder, here’s my top 10, this time with links to my reviews where applicable:
10. One Night in Miami.. (Amazon Prime Video) 9. Pieces of a Woman (Netflix) 8. Sound of Metal (Amazon Prime Video) 7. Mulan (Disney+) 6. Synchronic (Well GO USA) (Tied with Disney+’s Hamilton) 5. Nomadland (Searchlight Studios) 4. News of the World (Universal) 3. Minari (A24) 2. Corpus Christi 1. Promising Young Woman (Focus Features)
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And some MORE DOCS I liked that didn’t make my Top 12 over at Below the Line:
13. Robin’s Wish (Vertical) 14. PJ Harvey: A Dog Called Money 15. 76 Days (MTV Documentaries) 16. Rebuilding Paradise (NatGeo) 17. The Fight (Magnolia) 18. Collective (Magnolia) 19. Stuntwomen: The Untold Hollywood Story (Shout! Studios) 20. We Are Freestyle Love Supreme (Hulu) 21. My Name is Pedro (Sweet 180) 22. Crock of Gold: A Night with Shane MacGowan (Magnolia) 23. You Cannot Kill David Arquette (Super) 24. Feels Good Man 25. Suzi Q (Utopia Distribution)
The Terrible 12 of 2020!:
And it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for -- and the reason I guess most people are reading this -- so I apologize for making all five of you read through all the great movies and docs of 2020 before getting to the juicy stuff. Let’s get to it!
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12. Superintelligence (HBO Max) – There was a time when I loved Melissa McCarthy – years before Bridesmaids – but her success after that film and her decision to keep making movies with husband/director Ben Falcone has only led to a few halfway decent comedies. (I didn’t think The Boss was that bad, but that’s cause it co-starred Kristen Bell.) So imagine if you’re one of the first big studio comedies to be dumped to Warner Media’s new streaming service, HBO Max, and that was almost SIX MONTHS BEFORE COVID HIT! How bad could a movie be to have that little support and confidence from the studio? Well, I found out that very thing, as I sat through this horrible movie that had McCarthy play another one of her usual “everywomen,” this one who encounters an Artificial Intelligence, voiced by James Corben, who has achieved sentience. Trying to learn what it is to be human, the AI starts giving McCarthy’s character everything she wants, including a relationship an old workmate, played by Bobby Canavale. The movie wasn’t very funny but it also branched into a rom-com plot that just didn’t suit either McCarthy or Canavale, so yes, quite an epic fail.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “'Superintelligence' is not a term I'd use for whoever greenlit this piece of crap.”
11. Hubie Halloween (Netflix) – I don’t think that Hubie Halloween was anywhere near Adam Sandler’s worst movies ever, and probably not even his worst for Netflix – although there have been some VERY bad ones. The problem is that any opportunity Sandler was given in this movie to show he can deliver something other than “more of the same” had him instead resorting to the physical humor that appealed to his fanbase. And yet, it wasn’t even the worst movie to come out that week it debuted on the streamer. (See below.)
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “A perfectly fine Netflix movie, not something I’d ever want to have to sit in a movie theater watching with others.”
10. Max Cloud – This sci-fi-action-comedy didn’t have a terrible premise – I mean, I enjoyed it in all three Jumanji movies --  but it was marred by being such a monumentally badly made movie that stars one of the one actors in the business, namely Scott Adkins. Set in 1990, Adkins plays the title character in a video game, in which a teen girl finds herself transported as a character. If you wondered what a Jumanji movie would look like in the hands of a completely incompetent cast and crew, well, here you go.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Pretty awful, a bad faux video game movie that should have had its plug pulled.”
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9. The Stand-In (Saban Films) – Not to be outdone by her frequent co-star Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore threw out all of the love she’s garnered from previous movies and her new talk show by playing dual roles of a raunchy comedy star best known for her pratfalls (so kind of a cross between Sandler and Melissa McCarthy?). Barrymore also played her nearly identical stand-in who didn’t get as much acclaim but gets to stand in for her famous lookalike when the latter goes on a bender and ends up hiding in her mansion for five years. Not sure why Barrymore thought this would be a good way to put her back on the movie screen, but yikes… one of her character’s big gimmicks is falling face first into a pile of horse shit – not funny and just plain gross.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “Guarantees Barrymore a double-dose Razzie nomination.”
8. The War with Grandpa (101 Studios) – For whatever reason, I decided not to review this Weinstein Co. cast-off family comedy starring Robert De Niro and Uma Thurman. Maybe that’s because I hated the movie so much I could barely get through it, and with a Friday review embargo, I just decided not to waste any more time thinking about it. So why didn’t it end up lower, you ask? I have no effin’ idea.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
7. Pearl – There have been some bad young adult romances over the past few years, and while I don’t think Bobby Roth’s is actually based on any existing book, it might as well have been, because it was very, very bad. It stars Larsen Thompson as a 15-year-old piano prodigy who is sent to live with her unemployed film director uncle, played by Anthony LaPaglia, who was so super-creepy in that role. I don’t remember much else, since I deliberately scrubbed my memory of this movie’s existence.  Little did I realize that I’d be watching an even WORSE version of this movie a few months later.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “LaPaglia is way too good an actor, who deserves better than this.”
6. Black Water: Abyss – Another movie I watched late in the week and just didn’t have time or bother to review. Honestly, I remember very little about this. I think it involves crocodiles? Who knows, who cares? Not me or anyone else I expect. Everything about this movie was pretty bad.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
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5. The Turning (Universal) – Probably the biggest studio movie to wind up on this list, and possibly the only reason I didn’t review this was because I interviewed the director, Floria Sigismondi (The Runaways), who is generally a pretty awesome artist. But I love the original source material on which this is based and seeing how much better Netflix’s The Horror of Bly Manor was a few months later just made me a little sore that a movie starring the great Mackenzie Davis with Finn Wolfhard and Brooklyn Prince could end up with one of the lamest endings of a horror movie in recent memory.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: N/A
4. Butt Boy (Epic Pictures) – Tyler Cornack’s comedy-slash-thriller was my worst movie of the year for many, many months until the three movies below it reared their ugly heads. Still, this one is pretty ugly as it stars Conack himself as Chip Gutchel, a man who becomes obsessed after a proctology exam so that things just keep vanishing up his own asshole. Yeah, I think my RT quote is fairly apt.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy.”
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3. Buddy Games (Saban Films/Paramount) – The fact that Josh Duhamel’s directorial debut came out the same week as Superintelligence yet ended up lower on this list is fairly telling. It involves Duhamel and a group of his friends taking part in ridiculous competitions for money, and shows what happens when these friends reunite five years later to throw another Buddy Game. It was just very low-brow and disgusting and a not particularly funny take on the Jackass movies. There was scene that almost made me stop watching.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “To call Buddy Games moronic, idiotic or even asinine, would be an insult to morons, idiots or asses, who are also likely the movie's target audience.“
2. Sno Babies (Better Noise Films) – This poorly-conceived “Afterschool Special” that follows a high school senior named Kristen (Katie Kelly) and her ever-growing drug addiction was almost like a young adult version of Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream if just about everything about the movie was bad from the writing to the acting to just really horrible images that no one would want to watch or be put through. If the film just followed Kelly’s character, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, but it’s a narrative that follows a bunch of characters including a couple wanting to have a baby… and when Kristen becomes pregnant due to her being on drugs, well, you can probably guess where it’s going. The only movie this year that had me literally yelling at my laptop like a lunatic.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The people who made this movie should never be allowed to make another movie again.”
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1. Dead Reckoning (Shout! Studios) – Scott Adkins makes his second appearance in the Terrible 12 with a movie in which he plays an Albanian terrorist. In fact, when I first heard about this movie and the fact it was directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, the cinematographer/director behind Romeo is Bleeding and lots of trashy action flickers from the Aughts, it made me expect something in that vein. Instead, this is another young adult drama set in Nantucket with K.J. Apa from Riverdale playing Adkins’ brother who falls for a local teen lush, played by India Eisley, who proceeds to chug alcohol in every scene. Oh, her parents were killed in a terrorist act… coincidence? I think not. Eventually, we learn that Adkins’ character is planning a terrorist act by blowing up a boat on the 4th of July, and that’s maybe an hour or more into the movie. And yeah, there’s a number of action scenes awkwardly shoehorned into the story as well… Adkins’ fight with a nurse trying to help him was particularly hilarious. But the fact that the movie is being sold as “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013” just makes the whole thing even more awkward and insulting. This one ends up in the “What on earth were they thinking, whoever financed this movie?” box.
Rotten Tomatoes Quote: “The only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley's character takes a drink.”
That’s it for this year…. Happy New Year and on to 2021!
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logickept · 4 years ago
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@kittenfey liked for a ghostly starter!
“Um, Ms. Fey? I have something I wanted to ask you about... I’m aware that your family is very atuned with the supernatural and... well...” Miles was struggling to find the right words.
“What is one supposed to do if they believe a spirit is following them?” He felt silly for asking something like this. But who else could he turn to? Maybe it wasn’t really a spirit he kept seeing and he was just having hallucinations?
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logickept · 4 years ago
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"Tsk tsk tsk. Your are almost correct. The job of a prosecutor is to get the guilty put in jail and that's exactly what I'm doing. Not that I would expect someone like you to understand that."
logickept‌:
“A corrupt attorney? You cut me to the quick, Miss Fey. I’m simply a prosecutor doing his job,” he said with a chuckle. He can tell that she’s getting angry. “Some advice for you; it’s hard to argue when you’re to mad to speak. You’ll find your employment will be very quickly ended when they see how your emotions make you weak.”
Mia had to remind herself that decking a prosecutor was an ill advised move. He had the police in his corner. She decidedly did not. “The last time I checked, the job of a prosecutor was to discover the truth, not convict every defendant no matter the cost. You and your underhanded methods are an insult to our entire legal system.”
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