#a small doodle in between soul crushing work lol

[minitiimidnight]

[monarch-moon]

Art Progress 2016

A year which I have learned how to step back and step forward at the same time. More details under the cut.

January- Pages of Hope- Side Quinn Good lord, I couldn't decide which art piece to showcase for January, stuck between the pieces MH!DL- Bnahabro In the Sky, New Year, New Life and the top competitor against the piece: Once Upon A Time. I ended up picking this piece because it fortold how this year was going to be. This was the month where I was most connected with the character, Quinn, who resembled hope...hope that would end up being crushed multiple times later this year. February- AS- Cutting Down Despair The time I remembered how to cell shade again lol. If I remember correctly, this month was when I was still trying out random things as well as going strong with my motivation for Digimon LinK. Behind the scenes, I think Februrary was the month where all I mostly did was random digimon designs and RPing on the forums. They were once my second home when all I have to currently call home is my own bedroom and nothing else outside of it. March- LinK- Ala the Walkuremon I personally feel like I never improve, but with almost every new full piece I dish out, somehow I get better with my shading execution and I don't know how. At the beginning of the month, both ZinyaWolf and FireReDragon came and visited me! The good ol trio got together and did some shit like go to the aquarium, chased geese and all sorts of shit. It was wonderful. A sweet momentary bliss in a life that was slowly getting darker... April- Take the Shot AKA "there was an attempt (to bring Shisenota back)". This was another month where I couldn't decide between several pieces to showcase here, trapped between LinK- The Awakening Storm, CM- Peaceful Nights Out and the simple-yet-beautifully executed LinK- Alternated Vision. I don't have other things to say about this month...other than more RPing, slipping into Mary Sue levels unknowingly, and of course...failed attempts to get a job. May- The first glimpse With certain events from LinK beginning to take ahold of my negativity and my love for the group, I was losing motivation fast. With yet another pitiful attempt to work on Shisenota, I felt that the best thing to work on were the backgrounds. It's not too shabby, to be honest. Can it be better now? Yes. IRL-wise, with LinK dying, we were gonna go back to what we were doing before, which that in itself was still in shambles. It wasn't looking good for us...until an idea began to conduct around the edge of May and June. This concluded the LinK days, and while the ending days were absolute shit, I will miss it. While another story ended up being unfinished, Quinn's main story was more finished than Hukaro's, so I can at least leave LinK without much regret. June- Sans Close-range Mode My official slip into the Undertale fandom of all things, and what did I have to present? A weird sci-fi Undertale AU known as Nextale, which was more or less a semi-Shisenota-esque version of Undertale characters with its own story and characterization that still sets the two series apart. My co-pilot being none other than FireReDragon  , we started out small, gradually gaining followers with interest, but we were still relatively unknwon in the fandom. It was something new, it was something interesting, and it was not only gonna help me improve in some way, it was also gonna help me figure out my own story. This began the Summer of Nextale. July- Nextale- The Crimson Soul Still unknown to most of the fandom, while Fire was busy in summer camp, forced to not work on Nextale, the fate of the AU depended on me. I kept working on concepts and an old set of comic pages in the background, also while attempting to make new friends in the fandom. This was, I believe, when we met some people such as TehRogue, who came to us asking if he could dub the comic when it comes out. Boy how I bounced all over the walls that day. August- Nextale- Page 9 Trashing the old pages and working on fully-colored ones, I finally released the first nine pages of Nextale onto the tumblr blog. I was worried about the reception of the comic, thinking it might be shit because I fucked up somewhere, wheher it would be the AU concept itself or in the storytelling department, and on the day Fire came back from summer camp...something completely unexpected happened. Whoever says that popularity can't happen overnight miiiight be wrong. A couple of bigwigs in the fandom, one being the benevolent Crayon Queen/loverofpiggies and hiimtryingtounderfell/Kaito, found us, reblogged us, and suddenly...we gained over 1000 followers in an hour and then some. Before we knew it....a good portion of the fandom knew what Nextale was. It was then that I found out that this fandom will help me out far more than I thought. To top off the good vibes this month brought about, I also FINALLY obtained a new job at Chipotle! Boy, it would be a shame if the good vibes ended so suddenly, ehhhhhh~? September- In a New Light As I had hoped, with Nextale's creation and progress, it's helped me out considerably with figuring Shisenota out, starting with Kotaru's major redesign! In regards of Nextale and it's evergrowing popularity, every day was like a god damned festival. We met so many new friends, united the entirety of the good side of the fandom to help one person out, GETTING OUR AU FEATURED IN A GAME THAT I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING, and so on! With balancing the two series out, it seemed like it was gonna go well....until I got fired from my job less than a month afterward for not being up to their standards despite giving it my all to keep it.... October- NT Yang Xiao Long With the result of getting screwed over and fired from my job, I had entered a severely deep and dark depression which I had never experienced before until then. As a result of that depression, I lost motivation on everything, Shisenota...Nextale...you name it. It put a severe strain between me and Fire and it also brought about another new demon that made me fear EVERYTHING. The popularity started taking a severe toll on my health, especially when the haters began showing up, despite being so low in numbers...this was the time when everyone truly became my enemy. Art-wise, I forced myself to do anything, and this was the best I could cook during then other than pages. This was a patreon reward back when I did raffles. November- Concerned Pupper During the first half of the month, I was still trapped in my deep depression, which was made even deeper for a while due to the elections, but I was also still figuring out Shisenota. When we reached a point where we can figure out the world and the general idea of the story, I was able to dish concepts out left and right. The depression ended when I got a call to what would be my new job at Dollar General, and even more so when the Underfell game dev wanted to make Shisenota into a game. Finally, I was also able to pinpoint the source of my issues that I later realized strained my friendships with literally EVERYONE ELSE, and that demon was none other than severe paranoia. I have yet dished out something brand spanking new, just some small shaded doodles like this one. December- SSNT- New World, New Sun This month...was the month of recovery, which I will make a journal about later. Upon realizing things left and right, I was also able to get my gears back together, art-wise, and I'm still trying to get a grasp on what I truly want. There's honestly so much I can say about this month, but I'll leave it be for now. All I know is that I think I'm beginning to find my true voice, and within the next month, it will truly be a new world and a new sun. Art wise, I learned how to "step back" on quality on certain things so I'm not either "always going all out" or "simple sketches", the fact made especially more apparent during the summer, but in regards of my style, my shading, and especially my backgrounds, I'm starting to go towards the right direction, I feel. The first few months started out REALLY strong, hell, I couldn't even decide which art piece I wanted to do in January, April and December. However, after that, especially after LinK closed down, all I did was kind of dragged onwards and remembered how to be half-assed and still look good with my art. December is when I've felt that I'm beginning to roar again. Life-wise...this is considered one of my more worse years, but not THE worst year (that goes to 2013). Cool things still happened, however, like getting to see Zinya and Fire physically (again. With Zinya coming over again on August lol), Nextale and Shisenota's revamp. Is it enough for me to not say "fuck 2016"?

Hell no.

I'm sorry, but as a person, 2016 has definitely made me degrade, causing everyone to be my enemy in my head, deep-ass pits of depression, my health issues resurfacing worse than ever, and boy do not get me STARTED on this god damned toxic household and what it did to me in the past year. OH and let's not forget how I was on the path of damaging SOOO many things! I am so glad that I was able to turn back while there was a path for me to. So everyone....with one last hurrah:

FUCK 2016!!