#a proper reunion with a proper love confession and a proper kiss

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

I get that, but even in the story manhua they don't actually date. Like, in romance series, you don't call something canon just because two characters are into each other, so maybe that's why my standards are like that? I wouldn't call that "canon" personally? On the other hand Bronseele actually confesses onscreen and even kisses, so I'd say it's firmly canon.

When the game starts, the vibe I get for kiamei is they Know Very Well that they like each other, but haven't properly confessed/talked it out. Kiana talks about how much she loves Mei, but Mei is still holding Kiana at arm's length out of shyness by the time Kiana vanishes, and regrets it as she rushes in to save her girl. Then the next time they meet is Major Angst, and then there's a proper reunion in the Moon arc. Like if they officially got together at any point, it would be the Moon arc ish, but in the game it remains implicit.

Just, also blatant, so I'm not gonna go and say it's not real, either. You have eyes, you can see it. If it wasn't for censorship we'd probably have them kiss at that point too.

But canon is the "text", not "what I believe the text would be if mihoyo could do whatever they want"...

You said VitaSeele is non-canon, yet there was a scene where the screen goes black and text says that Vita hugs Seele, implying that the hug was somehow so intimate and graphic that it would put all other hugs to shame so they could not show it. Curious

CURIOUS.

Canonicity is a complicated topic people get heated about though, so I'd rather not rely on it for legitimacy. There's just no real benefit to fistfighting about what counts as a canon relationship or not?

In canon, there's a lot of instances of Vita paying extra attention to Seele, flustering her, or being affectionate. She also has a voiceline stating that she'll always love Seele. That is undeniable because it's right there in the text. Now, extrapolating what it means for their relationship is interpretation, so by nature it cannot be called "canon".

The canon is just the text, and not even Kiamei has had a textual confirmation, technically (in the main story, as part of recent chapters). No one goes out their way to say "we're dating" in Hoyoverse games, so there's always a level of interpretation, it's the degree of blatant that changes.

If you have eyes and look at the evidence, you might think, oh, Vita likes Seele a lot, and I'd agree. But if someone else looks at it and has a different opinion, us fighting about it would be very unproductive. Clearly we had a different opinion to begin with! We'll just get upset denying each other's interpretations.

Let's just allow the facts to speak for themselves. I write vitaseele because I find it compelling and enjoy it, and there's a lot of material from canon that I can rely on, which is great. Enough for me!

[mochidoie]

the summer of us ☼

kim doyoung x reader wc - 8.6k genre - slow burn, fluff, slightly angsty, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining warnings - kiss scene a/n - italicized sections are written as flashbacks, while regular texts correspond with the present

You and Doyoung reunite at your high school reunion. Him, just as he has always been. You, bolder but just as beautiful. Upon meeting again, the memories of the one summer you two shared during your college years resurface, along with the same romantic feelings that never had a proper ending. Will that summer love find its way back to your present?

The only people who show up to high school reunions are those who used to be popular and lonely individuals. It’s the people who reminisce about their glory days in the tight hallways and how everyone knew their name. It’s for the people who currently have no one back in their hometown and are looking to rekindle old flames or friendships. Doyoung was neither one of these, and yet, here he is standing in the middle of his old high school gymnasium amongst his past peers and barely making out familiar faces in this mood lighting.

There were predictable appearances: Johnny was King of the Field, wore his letterman jacket nearly every day of senior year until the leather wore out and crusted off. Mina was captain of the cheerleading squad, admired by many but envied by most. Jaehyun was the campus sweetheart, confession letters and gifts would flood out of his locker on Valentine’s day. 

They are all holding onto that piece of glory, making remarks on how they wish they could go back in time to experience it all over again. Nothing in their current lives gives them that same thrill. It’s sad and for a brief moment, Doyoung genuinely pitied them. 

Some unexpected faces took him by surprise: Taeyong was his lab partner for most of his projects, his mind was always on a creative tangent at such a young age. Yuta was the underrated soccer star, he was humble in his skill, but extremely competitive in everything he did. Haechan was that underclassman that never hung out with his own grade, but he could crunch numbers faster than anyone in the school.

And you. You, who walked in with a dress that fit perfectly and painted lips that curved into a sweet smile, a smile that Doyoung found himself wanting a glimpse of throughout the night. You were quiet and so much more timid back then, always trying to blend into the background of things.

Nonetheless, Doyoung had shared the same sentiments except an unlikely friendship with Mark really gave him a leg up in high school with the popular crowd. But, Doyoung always saw you and formed a silent camaraderie between the two of you without your knowledge. 

Why would you come? He didn’t understand. If it wasn’t for Mark’s insanely theatrical pleas to attend, Doyoung would happily be on his couch watching his reality dating shows. It seemed out of character and some could say the same for him. However, Doyoung didn’t actually know you well enough to understand your reasoning. 

Mark nudges Doyoung, “hey… who is that?” Gesturing toward your figure by the makeshift bar, Doyoung tries to think how to formulate your identity to Mark. Did Mark even know of your existence prior? Doyoung thought. 

“I think it’s… y/n?” He doesn’t sound confident, in fact, there is a slight quiver when he says your name. Mark confusingly stares at Doyoung and he can read his mind before Mark even asks.

“Who?” 

Rolling his eyes, he patiently explains. “Junior year chemistry. I’m pretty sure you two sat next to each other in class.” Doyoung brings his glass to his lips. 

Mark tilts his head, an expression of great pondering on his face. Unconsciously, Doyoung’s eyes follow you at every step. He is still trying to process seeing how much you’ve changed. 

“How did you remember something like that?” Mark laughs, biting the cookie he has been rolling between his fingers. 

Doyoung shrugs nonchalantly, “I had to stare at your big head the whole period and all the posers who tried to be your best friend during class.” It isn’t a complete lie, Doyoung did pay attention to his good friend during class, but only because he had to sit a few rows behind him.

He isn’t going to reveal the silent alliance he created between the two of you. The two quiet ones, navigating the world of high school in their own way and trying to graduate without a trace of who they were during those years. That’s what Doyoung wanted for himself.

“We should catch up, what do you say?” Mark suggests to Doyoung. You’ve made your way toward the center of the draped tables, trapped between Johnny and Jaehyun. Those two idiots probably have no recollection of who you are. “You can reintroduce me.” 

Doyoung scoffs, “you don’t need an introduction. You’re literally valedictorian Mark Lee.” The two of them make their way toward you. With every step closer, Doyoung’s throat dries up. If there is any need for liquid courage, it would be now. 

The truth is that Doyoung has exchanged several small conversations with you during your adolescence, so you two are acquaintances at best. However, there was one summer between the first and second year of college where the two of you ran into each other quite frequently. It was enough to where the two of you were actually friends, one could even argue more than that.

Doyoung always hated the heat that came with summers at home. It was partially the reason why he decided to go away for college in a city without changing seasons. Beads of sweat run down the sides of his forehead as he seeks air conditioning in a crowded gelato shop.

He had just finished an intense soccer match with Yuta. It probably was one of the worst decisions to do during the highest temperatures of the year. The copious amount of sunscreen has most likely melted off of his body with the amount of sweat he was producing and all his water dried up from sitting in the sun. 

He digs in his pockets for spare change for the sweet treat, not thinking how much he would be suffering from the hot weather. 

“I can help the next person.” A voice calls and Doyoung is frantically rummaging through his pockets for more bills. When he looks up, a familiar face shares a slightly shocked expression over the fridge counters. You call his name and instantly, Doyoung feels flushed at your great memory. 

Your name tag hangs crookedly on your apron and Doyoung recognizes it immediately. “Hey! It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have expected to bump into you.” Your giddiness warms Doyoung’s chest. He had forgotten how inviting you were the moment you would speak. Your features were slightly the same, but definitely a bit older. You weren’t wearing your glasses and your hair was neatly pulled into a ponytail. 

“I just came back for the summer.” Doyoung pulls out some loose change, damp from his sweaty hands. “When did you work here?”

“I started the summer after we graduated. I come back during the breaks to help out.” Before Doyoung could respond, a voice cuts the feverish reunion and reminds him he is holding up the line for gelato. 

You chuckle timidly to yourself, “anyways, what can I get you?” 

Doyoung, now pressured by the line of impatient customers, chooses his favorite mango sorbet before he could glance at any other options. When you ring him up, he counts his change in his palm and groans. 

“Ah, I’m short two dollars. It’s okay, I won’t get it. I’m sorry to waste your time.” Doyoung pouts, ready to hide under a rock for being a complete embarrassment the first time you are seeing each other again.

You grasp his wrist quickly, “Wait, it’s on me.” Placing the cone in his hand, you fiddle with something on the register and smile sweetly at him. 

Doyoung feels the world stop and can’t find the words to express his gratitude. “Thanks.” He whispers, deer eyes wide and mouth open. 

“No problem. It was good seeing you again, Doyoung.” You’re already trying to move on to help the next available customer, while Doyoung mindlessly blinks at the cone in his hand. It was really nice seeing you and he wonders to himself if there could be another chance. 

It’s a relief when Mark saves you from the conversation with Johnny and Jaehyun. He does so happily and cluelessly at the tactics of their flirting and lack of your identity. It actually almost comes to a shock to you that Mark remembered you, not that the two of you shared any conversation between one another during class. It isn’t until your eyes fall upon the other individual behind him. 

All tall and lean, Doyoung stands before you after all this time. The memories of that one summer together flash by in a millisecond and all the feelings come rushing back like adrenaline pumping through your veins.

Then, a mixture of disappointment and sadness fill your heart, gazing upon Doyoung’s stare, it’s apologetic. With Mark’s chirpiness in the way, you try your best to pretend that you and Doyoung had no prior affairs. 

“Wow, can you believe how long it’s been? My mom still talks about your valedictorian speech, Mark.” Doyoung can see right through you. The fakeness is full in your tone, like you’re trying so hard to convince everyone that you’re fine and after all this time, alright with seeing Doyoung. 

“Yeah, that speech. I swear I blacked out because I can’t even remember it.” Mark laughs, rubbing the back of his neck in a shy manner. “But how have you been, y/n?” 

“I’ve been good. Busy with work and enjoying life at the same time.” Keeping your answer vague, you direct your attention to Doyoung. “How have you been?” 

He is taken aback by the sudden shift, despite very clearly being part of this three way conversation without any contribution other than his presence. Clearing his throat, he begins with, “good. I’ve been busy with work too.”

Mark continues, poking at Doyoung’s arm to slightly tease him. “This guy became a workaholic after we graduated college. He is the first person I knew that got a job right away and has been slaving away since.” 

Doyoung feels embarrassed as his friend describes the lamest life that he has been living. He almost speaks up to defend himself or mention how all those years of hard work has earned him a golden plaque for his loyalty with the company. 

“That’s really impressive, Doyoung.” Your breathy compliment causes his heart to skip a beat. He looks at you, noting the sadness in your eyes. “I’ve been jumping around jobs for awhile. It’s been hard figuring out what I want to do with my career, sometimes I think back on how easy life was when I was scooping gelato.”

Gelato takes Doyoung back to that summer again. All the warm nights he waited for you to close up the shop, how your clothes would smell like sweet waffle batter, and you’d always come out with a scoop of mango sorbet just for him. All the nights he wished he was brave enough to kiss you. 

“Doyoung, you don’t have to wait for me!” Your smile doesn’t leave your face upon seeing him outside the shop, hands in his pockets and head up high watching the stars. At this point, it’s routine that the boy would show up five minutes before closing time and patiently wander outside until you were ready to leave.

You thought it was a coincidence to bump into him after one of your shifts, but he kept showing up. After a few times, you began to realize that he was intentionally waiting for you. Never questioning why, Doyoung walked you home every night as you two reminisced about the moments in high school or new memories you both had made in college.

Slowly, you two got to know each other very well. Doyoung told you about his dreams and you told him about your family. He knew your closest friends and your favorite memories about them. You knew facts about his brother and their upbringing, family traditions during holidays and vacations spent at the ski lodge despite not knowing how to ski. 

Occasionally, the two of you would stop by boardwalk and walk down to the beach. Doyoung would pat off the sand to the bench for you to sit beside him. You’d keep a respectable distance, with your hands in your lap and hair blowing in the warm wind. Doyoung’s eyes would sparkle along with the street lamps and you’d both be secretly enchanted by one another. 

These were the summer nights that you wished upon the moon and stars that Doyoung would kiss you. 

“You worked at the gelato shop by the boardwalk?” Mark asked, excited and completely oblivious to the can of worms he is about to open leading with that question. 

Chuckling, you glance sly at Doyoung. “Yes, it was my summer job. My sister knew the manager that worked there, so I’d help out during the summer when I came home.”

Mark lightly slaps Doyoung on the chest and he coughs at the sudden impact, jolting and nearly spilling the drink in his hand. “Doyoung used to rave about the mango sorbet at that place, didn’t you?”

Doyoung nodded. It comes as a confirmation to you that Mark doesn’t know anything that happened between you and Doyoung that summer. You’re all laughing awkwardly, Doyoung a bit more nervously than you and Mark.

“Yeah and he’d always say how it was his favorite of all time, that nothing could compare–”

“--Okay, Mark. I think we can drop the mango sorbet debate.” Doyoung firmly pats Mark on the shoulder to get him to please shut the fuck up. He couldn’t take any more of his friend’s clueless babbling, especially not to you about all the subliminal messages.

“It’s good. They make it in house, peeled over a hundred mangoes in the back every morning.” Speaking very matter of factly, your face is full of angst. 

Mark and Doyoung blink at you in disbelief. He feels bad about all the nights you’d get him a scoop, not knowing you practically worked away your life for it. “Wait, seriously?”

“No.” You laugh and your face lightens up, “that would be actual hell if I did. We had frozen mangoes with a premade syrup.” Doyoung forgot about your humor and how much he enjoyed it. He found himself laughing along, thinking about how melodic your sounds of happiness are.  

In the midst of your chuckles, someone calls for Mark from across the auditorium. He excuses himself and hurries joyfully over to another old classmate. The air instantly becomes suffocating between you and Doyoung. Without a third party there to ignore the elephant in the room, the two of you avert eye contact and stand stiffly. 

“So..” Doyoung clears his throat, unsure how to work around the awkwardness. “Why did you decide to come? I never thought I’d see you at something as lame as this.” 

“Are you implying I’m too cool to show up here?” He got you to relax a bit, earning a small chuckle at how he phrased his question. Your shoulders drop the tension that caused it to stick by your chin. 

“Of course.” You weren’t necessarily popular back in high school, so you had no reason to come back and gloat about the past. He isn’t sure about your current social life, but surely it isn’t lonely enough to want to come back and rekindle old ones, especially with these amateurs. 

“Well, I appreciate that thought. I had a feeling you’d be here.” Your eyes wander the floor, calculating your next words very carefully. While you had no idea how Doyoung feels about you right now, you wanted to test the waters. If it comes to be bad, then you can avoid him for the rest of your life. If it turns out well, who knows? There wouldn’t be another missed chance.

“Oh god, I’m so uncool that you’d expect me to show up?” Doyoung pretends to be offended, or maybe he actually is. You aren’t sure, but he holds his hand to his chest as if he is. “I’ll have to rebrand myself going forward.”

“No, no. It’s not you. I saw Mark tag you in the comments of the announcement post.” Peering up, Doyoung lets out an exasperated sigh at the fact that Mark was the culprit. He should’ve known that Mark basically announced their attendance via social media. “So, I figured you might show up.” 

“It is a hundred percent Mark. He dressed me himself and dragged me out the door to come to this.” He rolls his eyes and finishes his drink in one big gulp. 

Doyoung scans the room one last time at all the people that came to the reunion. To his surprise, there was a decent amount of attendees and everyone looked like themselves more or less. Everyone remained recognizable to a degree, but no one made an entrance like you did. 

Then, the conversation clicks in his head. Like someone turned the lights on in his head, he understands the intent behind your responses. You didn’t come to see him, perhaps? 

It is as if you could see the gears in his mind turn in real time. You smile and close the distance between the two of you. “I came to this lame reunion because I wanted to see you again.” 

And like that, Doyoung is brought back to the world stopping feeling he felt several years ago in that gelato shop, your hand on his wrist and a cone of mango sorbet in his hand. His eyes resembled a baby deer in headlights and his mouth agape. His heart is loud in his ears and pressure in his throat. 

He isn’t sure how he should proceed. Doyoung fumbled his chances with you long ago, at least that’s what he had thought. Barely processing your confession, he stammers over his words. 

“Want to head out?” 

A wide grin spreads across your lips, lifting your cheeks high on your face. “What about Mark?”

“He’ll manage.” Doyoung doesn’t even look for his good friend in the crowd, knowing that Mark was going to leave him for a random old acquaintance sooner or later into the night. This, however, was an opportunity Doyoung didn’t know he’d ever come across again. “I’ve waited long enough to have a chance like this again.” 

Your eyes light up at his statement, like a spark to a new flame erupting inside of you. Doyoung extends his hand for you to take and softly, you accept his grip and let him guide you outside of that dreary gymnasium. 

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

“Did you know that Bethany had the biggest crush on you?” Kicking your feet in the air, you’re giggling at the silly high school secrets you had always kept to yourself. Doyoung shoots up from the blanket on the sand and turns to face you, utterly horrified by the new piece of old information. 

You had an early shift today and managed to catch the sunset with Doyoung. He had brought his picnic blanket for you two to enjoy the views right on the beach. The pink and orange hues paint the sky above you, faint sounds of seagulls in the distance and of waves crashing against the shore set the mood. 

You two could talk for hours, without a care in the universe and any concept of time. Doyoung is mesmerized by your perspective and way with words. You’re astonished by the wisdom and empathy Doyoung holds. From one quiet kid to another, you two sure felt comfort in each other. 

“Blonde Beth?!” Doyoung exclaims.

You sit up with him, matching the higher level of energy. “Yes. She was so into you!”

He blinks in disbelief, never thinking someone like Bethany would have a crush on him in high school. Not that he is any better now, but he isn’t sure how well he was perceived in his adolescents. “How did you know?”

“You’re always such a skeptic.” Your eyes watch the horizon. The round, golden sun barely hits the glimmering water. “I sat at the same table as her and her friends in math class. She talked about you quite often.”

Doyoung follows your gaze toward the sunset. He contemplates long and hard. “What a strange crush.”

Scoffing, you briefly glance over at him. There, Doyoung sits with his knees hugged to his chest and a look of deep thought. The sun kisses his skin so lovingly, highlighting his sharp facial features. The light breeze blows his tousled bangs over his forehead. Doyoung looks like he was chiseled by the gods, just absolutely unreal. 

It strikes you like a chord. In the midst of this summer sunset, you were falling for Doyoung. 

When he peers over and meets your eyes, something drops in the pit of your stomach. A sudden shyness accompanies your chest and it compels you to look away, but you remain locked in and lost in his starry pupils. You find yourself breathless, mouth open to speak but words caught in your throat.

Nonetheless, you catch yourself before it becomes suspicious. “W-Why would it be strange?” Gulping, your mind is running circles at your realization. 

“Because I swear she hated me. I would always beat her by one point in our exams and there was always a rivalry between us.” Doyoung ponders, barely able to make out the memories of the girl from his classes. He never acknowledged her enough to remember. 

He hears your chuckle, snapping his attention at you. “You’re so dense. She probably had an enemies to lovers type thing going on for you.” 

“A what?” Doyoung snarls.

“Enemies to lovers… like you hated each other so much that you ended up liking them.” Your voice grows small at the ridiculous explanation. You may have revealed too much of your personal interests and hobbies to a boy who only reads textbooks and self help books.

It was Doyoung’s turn to laugh, but right in your face at the silly description. “Is that something you like reading in your literature?” 

“Perhaps. I’ve already said too much.” You fume, laying back down on the blanket. Your back hits the firm sand with a thud and you close your eyes out of embarrassment.

“I’ll confirm with you right now that I’m more of a friends to lovers type guy. I can never hate someone so much that I end up liking them. My disdain for them would linger.” The blanket shifts a bit underneath you. When you open your eyes, he is hovering over you with a kind grin.

A veiny arm is situated by either side of your head. You nearly gasp at the sudden perspective of Doyoung above you, keeping your own arms close to your chest. Your heart races quickly, anticipating his next move. 

“You’re not trying to fall asleep on the beach, right?” He laughs, his chain slipping out of his shirt and dangling from his neck. “If you’re tired, let me walk you back.”

A rush of flustered emotions cascade over your weak body. Dizziness quickly accompanies your head, like the sight of Doyoung looking dreamily above you is enough to cause you to faint. You pat your hot cheeks, giving small slaps to wake you from this embarrassing feeling you’re experiencing over a friend.

Doyoung laughs at your gesture, oblivious to why you’re just hitting yourself. “Enough, don’t want you to hurt your pretty face.” 

Like a straw to a camel’s back, that is the last thing you’ll let yourself get ruffled over. Sitting up, you’re inches from Doyoung’s lips. He blinks at your sudden proximity and immediately widens his eyes.

Gulping, your breath dances softly on his cherry red pout. “Let’s go.”

He follows your lead, grabbing his blanket in a swift motion and dusting off the sand from the fabric. Nonetheless, you don’t wait around or help him. Instead, you’re already up on the curb and recollecting everything that just happened, all the feelings that had surfaced. Confused, but excited to feel your heart bursting with the rays of the summer sun.

 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

“So, this is where you live. I remember requesting a tour for one of the units when it was in its developmental phase. I’m happy to see that it lives up to the pictures and that someone I know lives here.” You walk around Doyoung’s living room aimlessly, pinching at the cover of the couch, dusting your finger on the window shades, inspecting the ceiling fixtures. 

“You’re restless. Take a seat before you spot something that will cause me to hyperfixate.” He chuckles, patting the seat next to him on the sofa and placing a glass of water for you on a cute coaster. 

For a brief moment, you hesitate sitting so close to him. It wasn’t like all the ill feelings you held simply disappeared upon seeing him. There is still a part of you that didn’t forgive him, didn’t wish to be so friendly again.

Nonetheless, Doyoung had always been attentive and observant. He catches on immediately, scooting over to another chair that had a big stuffed penguin plush. Clearing his throat, he gestures to the spot once more now that he created a comfortable distance. “Why did you decide on another place?”

“It was closer to my ex at the time.” Your casualness catches Doyoung off guard, as he watches you finally take a seat. “He kept complaining about our commute to each other and I was in need of a new apartment fast, so it just settled that way.” 

Doyoung nods, like he understands despite not fully. He can’t imagine moving closer for anyone beside himself or going without a compromise from both parties. “Then, does your ex still live near you?”

“No, I told him to move far away so that I would never have to see him again. I’m all about setting boundaries.” The person Doyoung knew you to be would never have been that bold, would not have known how to set boundaries firmly. Like an ember catching a light, a spark appears in his eyes as he takes in your physicalities again. 

Now under proper lighting, Doyoung can really see all of you. The dress did more for you than he had noticed before, bringing out your confidence and kissing your skin tone. The satin on your lips is seductive, but saccharine paired with your smile. Voluminous curls frame your face perfectly and when he finally takes a long look at your features – he is astonished all over again at how beautiful you are. 

He clears his throat, “boundaries are important.” It’s all he can say while still enamored by your newfound confidence and looks.

“What about you? Have you been in any relationships since we last saw each other?” 

Doyoung tries to piece together his response delicately, mostly because he didn’t want to sound like a complete loner and corporate loser. Truthfully, after the summer together, Doyoung could not stop thinking about you. It was an endless cycle of wanting to reach out again, but he never found it in himself to do so. When you nearly fell off the face of the digital world, he tried to put his efforts into other people. 

Failing horribly, he couldn’t find anything remotely close to what you and he had shared in a few months. A connection so powerful and genuine, a fresh breath of air that filled his lungs every time he thoughtfully inhaled. A feeling that warmed not only his skin, but his heart that he no longer despised the hot weather. Doyoung found himself looking for you in everyone he met, only to be faced with utter disappointment when they were nowhere close.

With all his withered attempts at romance, he gave up. He settled on being alone for this portion of his life and didn’t desire that fleeting feeling of romance he had once felt. Because at the end of all his days, he’d come home to this empty apartment and pretend to be content with himself when he had lost the opportunity to be with you. 

So when he begins with his calculated reply, he mentally prepares himself for your reaction. “I haven’t. I’m married to my work.” His eyes flicker at your expression, trying to make out the sympathy in your pupils and dip in your frown.

“You haven’t changed at all.” When you examine Doyoung, he is just as you remembered him that summer. With his sharp features, quick wit, quiet demeanor and all of his dedication, Kim Doyoung remains exactly like how he had left you that temperate night.

He is all the man that you had fallen for and longed for in your present. It’s a bit sad all the times you would wallow in it — the crush that became undying on a man who only smiled brighten when you were around. A man who is intelligent, trivial, and hungry for success that he is willingly to dedicate his entire life to it. Yet, he is a man who is also kind, soft, and attentive to others around him that caring for others comes second nature to him. 

With the time that has passed since you two last spoke, you had wondered if he had changed to be more cynical, withholding his heart and laughter to those who tried to grow close to him or if he had opened up and shared his kindness to someone who is worthy of it. To your countless of painted possibilities, Doyoung had done neither and a part of you finds immense comfort in him all over again. 

Doyoung isn’t sure how to interpret your statement. Greatly puzzled, he tilts his head and asks, “is that a bad thing?” Swallowing the lump of spit gathered in his throat, he anxiously overthinks your implications.

Instantly, you note his change from relaxed to tense. His jaw is clenched as he crosses his legs, neatly folding his hands together and resting them on his lap. You’ve made him uneasy, but it only makes you chuckle at how unnerved he is. 

So when you answer him, he is vastly surprised and speechless. “No, I’ve always liked you the way you are.”

He ponders and lets the adrenaline take its course of action. Without another thought or hesitation, he matches your boldness. “You’ve changed.” 

The proclamation feels sudden, so much that it genuinely catches you off guard. There is a slight whiplash you experience with how quick Doyoung’s words hit you. Although there is no accusatory tone that lingers, there is some sense of self consciousness. 

“Is that bad?” You take his same words to use against him. Instead of feeling tense and perceived, you somehow feel defensive. All the years that you two haven’t encountered one another, you’ve worked hard to be the person you love now. 

You acknowledge how quiet and hidden you were in the past. The person that never wanted to be noticed, often wanting to hide behind their hair or clothes. You used to speak just barely above a whisper, scared that any louder would draw the unwanted attention of others around. Only spoke when spoken to, only looked up when tapped, that was just the way you were. 

High school was never a comfortable time for you, but wasn’t it like that for everyone? Seemingly awkward and unrevealing to who someone truly is. It had been a feeling that troubled you greatly, that you felt fearful to be too bold, too audacious. You couldn’t wait to graduate silently and move on from that version of yourself.

“No, no. It’s not bad at all.” Doyoung puts his hands up, waving them in a worrisome manner. He settles back into his seat, sitting back against the bouncy cushion and leaning his chin on his fist.

There is a brief stiffness in the air, like Doyoung had more to say. Watching his eyelashes flutter over at you, he eats you up under his long gaze. You shift oddly in your place, heart pounding in your throat and feeling slightly flushed under his spotlight. 

He speaks with a low voice, but it is gentle and firm. “I think I see you more clearly now.” His eyes trail down to your toes and back up to the curls that frame your face. An audible gasp escapes your lips, a lack of words fallen upon you.

With every second spent with Doyoung, it has slowly eroded away at the resentment and sadness you felt prior. You wish for nothing more than to be closer to him, to feel his fingertips dance across your hot skin. This is not a foreign feeling, but one that you knew too well. 

“Funny that you only see me now when I had been right in front of you for an entire summer.” Fumbling with your purse, you peer away from his sultry stare. The air in the room suffocates you, like a sticky humid day.

“You misinterpret my statement.” He is quick to answer. “I have always seen you. The person who tried so hard to fade in the background in high school, the person who was still trying to figure themselves in college, and now, the person you fully find yourself to be.” 

There is a heaviness that fills your chest, like guilt that you had held such a tremendous grudge after so long. Wallowing in your angst, you try to process his words thoughtfully. When you don’t say anything, Doyoung’s voice continues on and his heart fills his words.

“You know, I go back to that summer every year, just recalling and regretting.” Doyoung sighs, emptying his lungs into one breath. He finally feels ready to address the elephant in the room, the words he never said. With you as beautifully before him once again, Doyoung never dared to imagine this chance because he knew he didn’t deserve it. 

“What would you have done differently?” You seldomly ask. 

And when you glimpse up at him with glossy eyes, Doyoung’s confession pours from his lips effortlessly. “I’d tell you how you made me feel – seen and whole. Because I knew you saw me too and accepted me with all my flaws. It’s like you saw my soul and understood me for the person I was. Then, I’d kiss you, I’d kiss you like the world was ending.”

“Desperately and holding onto the last glimpse of hope?” Chuckling, your heart literally feels like it could burst any second looking at him. 

Doyoung stands up, taking small steps forward and closing the distance between you two. Making room for him to sit next to you, his knee radiates heat against your own. He smiles sweetly, “desperately, yes, but as if nothing else mattered than being there with you in that moment.”

Finally face to face, it feels impossible to resist each other’s aura. “I would like that.” Your eyes flicker from his lips to his pupils. His eyebrows raise slightly and like clockwork, the gears in his head are spinning at full force until everything clicks.

Without another thought or a second to lose, Doyoung pulls you toward him by your wrist and your lips land hastily on top of his. Staining him with the color of your lipstick, you’re gliding effortlessly. Immediately, all the romantic feelings from that summer flood both of your chests’.

Doyoung kicks the sand that loosely piles the boardwalk. His hands shoved into his shorts as his attention turned to the sound of your voice. This night between the both of you feels weirdly melancholy. It was a third of the way into summer and you were the only person Doyoung wanted to be around. 

Beyond the nostalgia, the family traditions, the dreams, there was one part of each other that you two never shared. All until he hears the drip of sadness in your voice, “you want to know something?”

“Of course.” When it came to you, he wasn’t sure if he had the power to say no.

The stars hang low and the moon twinkles at the highest point of the night. The chatter from the normally busy boardwalk has been replaced by sounds of waves crashing in the distance and all the shops have gone dark. The smell of sweet waffle batter lingers from your clothes and the chilly summer breeze blows at the strands of your hair. 

“I’ve still never had my first kiss.” It had been a long kept secret, feeling embarrassed that someone at your age hadn’t experienced a simple kiss. You had thought that the moment you entered college, everything was going to change and you were going to experience it all. 

However, the romantic in you wouldn’t allow it. In all the books you read, you only hoped for a magical kiss that swept you off your feet. One that deemed itself memorable, that would have you replaying over and over in your head. A kiss so full of passion that it would destroy you to pull away from.

“It’s nothing amazing.” Doyoung dully answers, noting the pout on your face the moment he says it. He immediately feels bad for damping the mood even further. “Sorry, that’s not what I mean.” 

“How was your first kiss?” You lay that million dollar question on him so innocently. 

He genuinely couldn’t even remember how his first kiss was. All he could make out was how sweaty his palms were and how he threw up right afterwards. “It was mediocre. I think it was with someone random at a freshman welcoming party. I had too much to drink and barfed on the curb right after it happened.”

The sound of your melodic laugh causes him to follow. “Hey!” He points, the reoccuring grin appearing on his face, “don’t you dare laugh. I shared that in secrecy. It was a very vulnerable moment for me.”

You hold your stomach from the intense chuckles, tears rimming your eyes. “I appreciate the vulnerability. It made me feel a lot better.” 

Amidst the robust laughter, Doyoung found himself wanting to be the reason behind your happiness. A burning sensation spread across his chest, intense enough to where he thought he might’ve had a bad sunburn. He peers over at your giggling figure again. 

Your mouth opened in a toothy smile, your cheekbones high up on your face. Under the dimly lit boardwalk, Doyoung’s heart races at how stunning you look hunched over and just doing something as simple as laughing. Joy matches you so well and he can’t seem to look away.

It’s like the wind knocked the air out of his lungs, but he falls breathless at the realization. Underneath the stars of this summer night, Doyoung was falling for you. 

When your laughter comes to a gradual stop, Doyoung snaps out of his internal confusion of these new blossoming feelings for you. He bids you a small smile, “what I meant to say was that first kisses don’t have to be the special one. All it takes is the right person at the right time. A kiss like that would trump any first kiss.” 

“You sure say that with a lot of vindication. Do you think you’ve experienced that yet?” Curious eyes fall upon him, you watch him like a spectacle and he grows nervous under your gaze.

“Definitely not. All I’ve experienced are wrong persons and wrong times.” It is a mindless thought he let escape and he doesn’t hope you read too much between the lines. He surely did not include you in that statement whatsoever. You had to be the right person, deep down somewhere he knew that. “Those are once in a lifetime moments, that's why I think they're so special.”

“I like that perspective.” You nod knowingly. “I hope to experience something like that one day too.” Your head drops to your hands, fiddling your thumbs at the thought of something so remarkable. 

Doyoung could kiss you right here. He’d pick up your chin and dive right into you. He’d give you your first kiss and something even more special. Nonetheless, his body remains stuck on his side of the bench. It’s as if he physically cannot get himself to do it, as if rushing into it wouldn’t be a good idea. 

He doesn’t know or understand why his body stayed frozen in place. As much as the desire to kiss you stirred within the pit of his stomach, there seems to be a barrier halting him from acting on it. Almost like his mind is telling him that this isn’t the right time, not yet.

Hands in your curls, Doyoung presses his face deeper into you. Both of your hearts pulse rapidly at the long awaited kiss. Your trembling fingertips brush his cheek and his knees grow weak at every inch you touch. Your lips dance together like they’ve known the steps this whole time.

Doyoung kisses you like the world really is ending, like the only two people who exist are you and him. It’s beyond romantic– it’s feverish, transcendent, and special. Kissing him has your feelings bursting into a chaotic, wild flame that only he can put out from this moment forward.

You kiss him like you’ve known him all his life and everything has led up to now, like the right person at the right time. This has been the kiss he has been patiently waiting for, growing for, all of this time has amounted to this one beautiful moment with you. You grip his arm, holding onto him tightly and afraid that he’d let go, that if your lips parted, it would completely destroy you.

Until you’re both gasping for air and joints in pain from the awkward position you’ve made your way in, the kiss comes to an end. Doyoung blinks with round, innocent eyes and puffy stained lips, truly stuck in a daze. His hair resembles a bird's nest, sticking out at random directions and clearly disheveled. 

You pull down the part of your dress that managed to ride up on your thighs, tidying the strands of flyaways around your face. When your eyes meet and shyly part, you’re both bursting into laughter and the steamy tension in the tiny apartment dissipates instantly. This is how it should’ve been. 

Your thumb smears the remaining lipstick that painted Doyoung’s lips, doing your best to wipe away the mess. He catches your wrist in the midst of it, “I’m sorry for ever hurting you in the past.” 

With your mouth agape, you’re unsure how to respond. With a long awaited kiss, came a long awaited apology, that is something that Doyoung knew well. You deserve every ounce of his sincerity and explanation. He gulps, anticipating whatever you may throw in his direction. Despite being full fledged adults, Doyoung feels as if he is back in his early adult years and still foolish when it comes to his feelings for you.

“I just never understood why you ran away, why you had so many excuses.” Reliving that memory has been painful, but less as time passed. It had been a tremendous part of your growth, even if it wasn’t something you wanted to experience.

The end of summer finally dawned on the two of you. Doyoung had been distant the last few days, but played it off as needing to pack for his trip back to college. You respected his space, but it would be a lie if you didn’t hope to see him waiting for you after your final shifts at the gelato shop.

All the bright days and breezy nights spent together were going to stay with you for a long time moving forward. Never did you think that you and Kim Doyoung would reunite and grow so close. Along with that, you never thought that you’d grow to like him so much. 

You’ve tossed and turned long enough. Now that Doyoung is leaving, you’d feel regretful if you didn’t let your good friend know at the very least how you felt. So, on the night before he makes his way back to school, he agrees to meet you on the pier for a goodbye.   

Doyoung is already leaning over the ledge, peering out into the dark waves in deep thought. He had been so conflicted the past few weeks, coming to the realization of his romantic feelings for you. He knew that meeting you again and growing close had that possibility, but he was unable to think that far ahead. He just wished to enjoy every waking moment with you. 

This summer with you had been a dream, one that he didn’t want to wake from. Now that he had to go, he didn’t know how to proceed. He had considered a confession, but what then? In the sheer chance that you reciprocate, he couldn’t give you the relationship you wanted. He couldn’t be there waiting for you after your shifts like he did here. He was going to be miles apart and so zoned into his studies. 

The internal conflict ate him alive, avoiding to see you on the last few days of summer you two had left. It was selfish on his part, but couldn’t let his feelings grow more to the point of recklessness. Doyoung could not afford to be reckless.

You come running toward him with a gigantic smile on your face, the one that makes Doyoung naturally grin back. He loves seeing you this way and his chest burns with an aching pain at the reality that awaits him. 

“Hey! How’s packing been?” You greet him, exasperated from the light jog. 

“I managed to finish a bit ago. I realized that I should pack more of the sweaters I left behind. It’s not as warm out there as it is here.” Doyoung shoves his hands into his jean pockets, the wind picking up the ends of his shirt and blowing lightly. 

“That’s good.” It’s all you could say before mustering up the courage to speak the real reason why you’re here tonight. Your eyes drift to the waves crashing along the shore and the footprints left from earlier in the day getting washed away. Your throat nearly closes, but you knew it had to be said. 

“Doyoung, I actually came out to tell you something important.” 

He chokes up, afraid to know and unprepared for what you were going to say. Nodding, he looks at you with a blank expression. 

“I had such a fun summer with you that I found myself growing to have romantic feelings for you. Do you feel the same?” Your confession evokes a sense of excitement and joy, Doyoung could do cartwheels. Nonetheless, they soon become squashed by the impending truths of reality. As much as Doyoung wanted to confess and tell you how he felt the same, he chose not to. 

Instead, he chooses to find a way to reject you. Dragging it out would be more painful than ending things between the two of you now. He thought this had to be the best option for your happiness. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m going away tomorrow.” He can’t answer your question because then he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from revealing all the ways you make his heart race and palms sweaty. He can’t hold onto a hope for the two of you to exist, knowing that the distance and his dedication to his studies came first. He wasn’t ready. 

Your smile drops immediately, being replaced with a frown. “I know, but we can work things out. You’re not too far–”

“I can’t do the distance. I can’t sacrifice the time from my studies.” Doyoung can see your heart shatter with every word and he doesn’t know how to help. His own heart crushed in his chest and nothing, but sharp pain reveals itself. 

“You can’t or you won’t?” You’re biting back tears. You didn’t expect the confession to go like this. Not that you expected him to reciprocate, but you didn’t think he’d chew and spit out your feelings like this. All this time, all his gestures, all his smiles, were they really not meant for you?

He says the same excuses again, which only frustrates you further. It didn’t feel like he was being honest with you, but he refused to give another reason. “I thought that this summer was special to us.”

Doyoung doesn’t wish to upset you more, so he says his last words to you before running off. “Summer is not enough.” You’re whiplashed by his cruel response, left speechless as you watch his figure dash off and down the pier. 

You’re left alone and staring at his fading shadow. A hole in your chest from your heart being ripped out and trampled on the ground. As a tear runs down your cheek, you think to yourself how Kim Doyoung is a coward, but how you are a fool to think that this summer meant anything more than it was.  

“Wasn’t it obvious?” Doyoung sighs, that memory haunting him like a nightmare. “I was stupid. Not only was I a coward, but I was thoughtless. I thought that if I ended things there, you wouldn’t be hurt in the long run.”

“Did you always plan to hurt me?” 

Doyoung snaps his head over at you, a ghastly expression on his face at your question. “Absolutely not. I-” He searched for the right answer, “I knew that I wasn’t going to be a good boyfriend to you if things continued. I was so imperfect that at the point of my life I was in, I was not ready to be the person you deserved. I wanted to give you the moon and the stars, believe me, but I was a boy who couldn’t even afford a scoop of mango sorbet.” 

“Doyoung, the boy I loved was imperfect, but he managed to make sunflowers bloom in my chest and feel as if I wasas loved by the sun. I wanted nothing more than to be yours that summer.” Your hand lightly clasps onto his. 

He tightens the grip, “again, I’m so sorry I so selfishly and idiotically ruined things between us, for making you sad. I only wanted to be the reason behind your gorgeous smile. I wanted to reach out all this time, but I couldn’t get over the guilt that built up after all this time. Why would you want someone who hurt you to come back into your life?”

You lifted Doyoung’s chin, bringing his focus back on your face. The connection is electrifying, like an instant buzz that fills your system with a simple look. The way that Doyoung looks at you is like a mesmerized, starstruck fool.

“You hurt me and it took a long time for me to build that bridge and get over it. However, after all these years, you’re all I could think about. That summer is all that floods my mind when I’m alone, that summer of us.” Your gentle words remind him of a softness he had forged a long time ago. A tenderness in your touch, in your gaze, in your tone is enough to break down his walls.

“I’ve wondered about you everyday.” He feels himself so easily drawn to you, so willing to open his pages for you to read. “And everyday, I wished I could get another chance. Would you allow me that? Another chance to be with you?”

It’s like the person you were from that summer awakens inside of you, longing and yearning to be Kim Doyoung’s. This entire night had been full of pockets of nostalgia seeing him again. Remembering, feeling, forgiving. But that question really solidifies that that young kid still lives inside of you, still wanting to love their summer crush as much as they did.

“Yes, I’d give you that chance in a heartbeat.” 

Doyoung kisses you again. And again. And again. For every moment under the summer stars that he wished to do so. Your summer love has found its way to your present. 

[bronzeagepizzeria]

TEN AND ROSE: WERE THEY HAVING SEX?

Disclaimer: I absolutely support people writing whatever makes them happy; this is NOT a criticism of ten x rose smutfic/established relationship/babyfic etc, I’ve read and enjoyed several of those, this is simply my reading of their canon relationship.

Every once in a while, the Rose Tyler tag sees text posts about how, obviously, Ten and Rose were sleeping together throughout Series 2, as evidenced by their absolutely sizzling chemistry in episodes such as New Earth and Tooth and Claw.

Most of them are usually in good humour—a “can you BELIEVE this chemistry” sort of thing, but there does exist a genuine belief among some that they really were sexually intimate already.

So, let's examine this canonically, from a Tentoo lens.

Were they having sex?

Short answer: No.

Long answer?

Throughout Series 1, we pick up on hints of the Ninth Doctor’s feelings for Rose growing, as well as Rose beginning to have feelings for the Doctor. It’s quite subtle in comparison to Series 2; here’s two great friends beginning to fall in love—flirting and bantering and getting jealous of other love interests xD. It’s not a very explicit romance (and this is why Rose haters tend to prefer NineRose, but that’s a conversation for another day) but it is heavily implied, and it is sealed with a kiss in The Parting of the Ways.

When Rose looks into the heart of the TARDIS and comes back for the Doctor, this romance is made explicit. When the Doctor dies to take the vortex out of Rose, the romance is made explicit. This is no longer a crush, or simple endearment, they’re in love.

The Tenth Doctor is born out of this love. He now knows the extent of Rose’s feelings, and he knows just how far she is willing to go for him. (This is a blessing and a curse, but we’ll come back to that some other time.)

Rose’s immediate reaction to seeing Ten is asking him to change back—(something that noticeably distresses him—the fact that she might not like him anymore). She spends the entirety of The Christmas Invasion mourning him, (which is fair since he never told her the tiny little detail of his ability to regenerate. Sigh.) and only really comes around to him at the end of that episode. We can safely assume, then, that they haven’t had sex.

In New Earth, they’re still very much relearning their dynamic—how do they work together, fit together now? We learn that Rose is physically attracted to the Tenth Doctor, thanks to Cassandra, and Rose's slightly mortified reaction at hearing this from him implies that there's been no confession of the sort to him.

You could argue that maybe something happened off-screen between Episodes 2 and 3, but as Ally on the tentoo x rose server pointed out, that would be shoddy writing. A physical relationship amongst the main two leads that is never even alluded to with a chaste kiss, is odd. So we can assume this major development didn't happen.

Tooth and Claw, the one episode that is constantly subject to 'they were totally shagging' discourse, has exceptionally flirty energy, yes, but this is because Ten and Rose are both very tactile people. Make no mistake, they definitely are flirting and being more touchy-feely than strictly necessary, but it would be narratively inconsistent for the reason for this behaviour to be 'they were having sex.'

Why?

I'd like to point out this dialogue we get from Queen Victoria:

This moment is extremely important; it plants the seeds for the proper beginning of one of the main themes of S2, which is the biggest reason the two of them are not constantly shagging in the TARDIS.

From this point on, something has been re-awakened in the Doctor, the fear of outliving someone he loves again.

We have to remember the Doctor is a severely traumatised man, a man who has outlived his entire species, and the idea of this girl he loves dying and leaving him alone is unbearable.

In School Reunion we get this spelt out for us. The Doctor sees Sarah Jane again, and reality strikes. This will be Rose, one day. There’s a key confrontation that takes place in this episode, an argument that remains unresolved because there are certain things Ten cannot bring himself to say.

DOCTOR: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you…

ROSE: What, Doctor?

There is a later confrontation in the same episode, where the Doctor is tempted with the idea of never having to see anyone wither and die again.

Even the infamous The Girl in the Fireplace doubles down on these themes--the Doctor's immortality. Time running out.

The Age of Steel two-parter brings with it the “gingerbread house”. Things we want which we cannot have.

This, in fact, is the crux of their entire relationship, folks. The incompatible lifespans. Rose's mortality. Untapped desire. The unsaid.

This is why it's important and impactful that Rose, on the last day she gets to see the Doctor, ever, plucks up the courage to actually put words to what she feels. This is why the unfinished confession in Doomsday hurts so much. Because they finally, finally took that plunge but it was too late.

Assuming that they've been in a physically intimate relationship all the while takes away from the gravity of this moment.

(Not to mention it's super exploitative, considering the inherent power dynamics. To think Ten had sex with Rose all that time--entirely aware of her feelings--and didn't have the decency to say he loved her and then proceeded to force her to choose between him and another version of himself...is problematic.)

I would go as far as saying it's a fundamentally wrong reading of their entire relationship, and of the Doctor himself.

I've seen people say the "baby scare" in Doomsday is proof that they'd been physically intimate, but it is, quite obviously the Doctor being afraid Rose was pregnant with Mickey's baby, not his.

DOCTOR: You've still got Mister Mickey, then? ROSE: There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey and the baby. DOCTOR: You're not?

He is, in his not so subtle way, trying to figure out if Rose is back with Mickey. It only hammers in the fact that he's missed his chance---not that the child might be his.

DOCTOR: Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have. ROSE: Am I ever going to see you again? DOCTOR: You can't.

Again, the narrative hammers this in. Their time is up. Rose will inevitably move on one day, without him.

All this to say…

TenRose in Series 2 is a tale of what could be. Of missed opportunities, and the lives and love we could have had.

But why is this important?

In order to understand Tentoo and Journey's End, it is vital we understand this aspect of TenRose. The yearning, the skirting around feelings in the room, the denial of gratification on Ten's part. The desire he cannot give in to.

Because Tentoo is the realisation of this desire. He is the second chance.

He is the embodiment of the Doctor grabbing hold of his one, short life and deciding to live it to the fullest. Tentoo is making a choice here--a choice to truly love Rose the way he has ached to do for years. This is why it's significant that he was able to get the words out while Ten wasn't.

This is why Rose chooses him.

This snippet of an email RTD received from Pete Bower sums it up extremely eloquently:

“In having one Doctor grieve for his lost love, while the other Doctor went off with that same lost love, you have written of that moment we all have where we make a choice. It is grieving for the love we never had (and the sex we never had) because of the choices we made.”

[hualianlover4ever]

JWQS chapters memorable/ major scenes

(Presenting my speculative Timeline + key chapters in JWQS)

Ch 23 (Marriage) (Jingjia 8th Year) Ch 31 (Qi Yan first targets Chuntao, the soup incident) Ch 47 (Qi Yan's eyes have brightness for the first time since her kingdom was invaded 10 years ago) Ch 70 (Jingnu 15) first kiss (scary) Ch 96 -97 (Jingnu 15) proper memorable kiss after Jingnu's birthday (Jingjia 9th year 10th Month)

(Jingnu's birthday is in the month of October)

Ch 108 (Jingnu 16)(Experiences her 1st period) Ch 111 (Qi Yan is scary) (Jingjia 10th Year 10th Month) Ch 121 (Jingnu 17) (first break point) Ch 132 (Jingnu sends Qi Yan away while making her the Viceroy of Jin Province) Jingjia 11th year Ch 133 (3 years have passed) Ch 136 (Jingnu 20)(Meeting after 3 years separation) (Jingjia 14th year) Ch 139 (Qi Yan became the Minister of Personal) Ch 140 (family time) Ch 141 (Qi Yan age 24) Ch 144 -145 (trying to repair the first break point) Ch 147 (Qi Yan gets a mental shock) ("My sister is having a night of passion with the daughter of the enemy?!")(Jingjia 14th year 11th Month )(Qi Yan burns her own estate) Ch 151-152 (Jingjia 15th year 3rd Month) (Qi Yan recovers from the Fuma estate Fire incident) (The Capital exam begins with Qi Yan as the main examiner) Ch 157 (Nangong Rang asks Qi Yan about her opinion of a Female emperor) Ch 158 ( Act as you see fit) Ch 159 (Qi Yan feelings are growing) Ch 170 (Qi Yan age 25) (Liu An matters solved) Ch 171 (OMG Qi Yan fell in an incurable love with the daughter of her enemy) Ch 174 (Palace exam begins.. Nangong Rang hosted it ) (Jingjia 15th year 5th Month) Ch 176 (Qi Yan sets off to the north of Luo) Ch 181 (Wolves scene) Ch 183 (Qi Yan meets Bayin after many years) (Jingjia 15th year) Apparently Jinwushu was brought to the grass plains at the age of 4, after that Bayin started acting as his guardian Ch 186 (The pride of Qiyan Agula returns) Ch 193 (Qi Yan and Jingnu reunion after a good amount of separation) Ch 212 (Intimate scenes (last for Qi Yan as male)) (Just be reckless this once) Ch 218 (Nangong Rang dies )(Jingjia 16th year 2nd Month) ( Qi Yan is 27) Ch 228 (Jingnu ascends the throne at the age of 23) Ch 229 (Jingjia 16th year 5th Month , Reign changes to Chengji) Ch 242 (Truth gets revealed) Ch 243 (Qi Yan confesses her identity) Ch 244 (Jingnu faints from the shocking new lmao) Ch 247 (Jingnu 's first gradual acceptance..of Qi Yan being a women) Ch 258 (Divorce comes��"Qi Yan…don't cry…") Ch 259 (Prison arc torture. Qi Yan - Age-28) Ch 263 (Jingnu finds the wooden sculpt pigs) Ch 268 (Qi Yan leaves …Oh dear…) Ch 270 (No fear when Da-Jie is here!) Ch 271 (Their first time) (Jingnu -23) (Qi Yan age 27) (7th month) Ch 277 (Grand enthronement ) Ch 279 (Bathing intimate scene) (Jingnu -25) Ch 286 (Rebellion of North Luo) Ch 288 (Qi Yan's mind deterioration first proper symptoms. …oh boy..) Ch 290 (Qi Yan meets Baishi again) Ch 293 (Bayin learns the truth….No longer Andas) (Also Qian Tong, all hail our saviour) (Jingnu -26) Ch 296 (REUNION with a lingering kiss) Ch 297 (Say..which of us is the wife?)(The fluff is just AHHHHH) Ch 301 (Qi Yan (age -30) learns of her parent's death…) Ch 302 (Ding You returns..) Ch 303 (Qi Yan fake dies) Ch 305 (darkest chapter of Qi Yan's life )

Jingjia 8th Year 3rd Month Capital Exam begins Qi Yan obtained the first position 5th Month Qi Yan becomes the Flower Seeker 6th Month Nangong Rang arranges the two marriages She gets sick again… Meets Ding You ,the Imperial doctor 12th Month Marriage of Qi Yan and Jingnu

Jingjia 9th Year 2nd Month Jingnu wishes for Qi Yan to live to a ripe old age 4th Month Initiates a scheme of the great Fire of Imperial Mausoluem and the Weiyang palace

Jingjia 10th Year 10th Month Qi Yan kills the saviour of her younger sister(along side many other innocent folks)

Jingjia 11th Year Qi Yan is under house arrest The witchcraft incident occurs Nangong Shunu meets Qiyan Nomin for the first time

Jingjia 14th Year Qi Yan becomes the minister of Personal 11th Month Learns of her sister 's relationship. . .. Qi Yan burns the Fuma estate

Jingjia 15th Year In the first two months , Qi Yan was still recovering from the damage from the Great Fire of the Fuma Estate 3rd Month Qi Yan becomes the main examiner of Capital exam (She receives the secret decree of "Act as you see fit) (Liu An incident occurs) Qi Yan entrusts her sister in Nangong Shunu's hands 5th Month Palace exams begins Meanwhile Qi Yan departs to the North of Luo as the Imperial Ambassador

(Jingjia 16th year = Chengji 1st year) Jingjia 16th Year 1st Month Qi Yan returns to the capital Spends an approx of 22 days in prison Schemes a plan to assassinate the sixth prince 2nd Month Qi Yan reveals her identity killing Nangong Rang in the process 5th Month Jingnu officially acsends the throne Chengji 1st Year 7th Month(3rd month since Jingnu's enthronement) Qi Yan aids Jingnu with the Sifang bank revenue 9th Month Qi Yan tells Xiao Die to confess about her identity 10th Month Qi Yan goes against the masked person's orders Her identity gets exposed

Chengji 2nd year 2nd Month Qi Yan's malicious crimes get exposed Jingnu divorces her 4th Month Qi Yan returns to the palace Gets thrown into jail for treason 5th Month Qi Yan officially becomes Qiyan Agula She is sent back to the north of Luo 7th Month Agula becomes "missing" Qi Yan returns to the palace They have their first time

Chengji 3rd year 3rd month Jingnu 's grand enthronement 9th month Masked person schemes activated

(Qi Yan lived in the restricted part of the palace for over a year)

Chengji 4th Year 4th Month Qi Yan resumes the position of Imperial Husband 5th Month Qi Yan learns of her parents' death 10th Month Qi Yan's memories start to relapse

The reason why (I think) Qi Yan starts to be amnesiac 1) Her mental health was already degrading which had am impact on her critical thought process 2) The red pill which Ding You gives her to remove the poison (the water disease + her womanly features) but it had a side effect which gave her a state of amnesia

Chengji 5th year 2nd Month They meet each other for last time before Qi Yan's death She paints a portrait of Jingnu (age -27) 3rd Month Qi Yan takes the death faking drugs

Chengji 6th year Jingnu crowns Shangyuan Fu as the Crown Prince Ding You successfully treats water disease

Qi Yan however has no past memories of past..

Chengji 7th year Jingnu takes care of Qi Yan's business Goes and digs Qi Yan 's grave too To find its empty

Chengji 8th year Jingnu started to travel in disguise(in search for Qi Yan in this vast world) Meanwhile Ding You suggests Qi Yan to go teach in a private school

Chengji 10th year Jingnu (Age -32) retires from the throne

1 year later of retirement They meet again with Qi Yan meeting her for the "first" time after Jingnu's 4 years of searching There is some hope as Qi Yan hugged Jingnu back Qi Yan (37) Jingnu (33)

My speculation (added with author's info) Within the next year Jingnu moved here, bought the school where Qi Yan was teaching Qi Yan moves in Jingnu 's estate

and they get married again! and this time its a love marriage! They drink the ceremonial wine which they didn't 20 years ago

Happily Ever After

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Christmas and New Year's Eve 2023 Pt 1: New Bookmarks and WiPs

Happy holidays everyone! Let's get into the holiday spirit with some new Christmas fics I've recently added to my Bookmarks and MFL lists! LOTS of stories, so this list is split up into two lists! PLEASE check out the lists below for past bookmarks and MFLs! If you have a WORK IN PROGRESS that you'd like added to this list, PLEASE add them in the replies/reblogs and I'll add them to subsequent posts of this list!

The second list posting shortly is my MFL list, so if you have a finished fic you'd like me to add to the lists, please add them to the next post!

Thank you so much!! <3 Merry Christmas!!

[PART TWO]

See also:

Christmas Fics (Dec. 2017)

Christmas: Oblivious That One or The Other is In a Relationship

Christmas 2019 Part 1 (All Bookmarks XMas and New Years)

Christmas 2019 Part 2 (Marked for Later)

G / T / K+ Rated Christmas Fics (Dec. 2018) (Updated Dec 2021)

Community Recs: Christmas 2020 (Updated Dec 2021)

Christmas Trees / Decorating

Christmas-Time Love Confessions

New Year’s Fics (Jan 2023)

Christmas 2023 Pt 2: Marked for Later

BOOKMARKS

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard's secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

The Way to Start the New Year by glass_rose_paperweight (G, 4,251 w., 1 Ch. || New Year's Eve, Fluff, Pining John) – On New Year's Eve, Sherlock drags John to America for a case, much to John's frustration. However, a mistake in booking looks like it might lead to an even worse New Year's Even than John originally thought ... or, maybe it's just what the boys need.

This Year by DiscordantWords (T, 6,283 w., 2 Ch. || TEH Divergence / No Mary, New Year’s Eve, John’s A Mess, Jealous John, Awkward Conversations, Trapped in a Closet, Estranged After Return, John POV, Semi-Reunion, Angry John, First Kiss, Reconciliation, Clueless Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Last year, Sherlock Holmes showed up at the Landmark with a fake moustache and a bad French accent and threw John's entire life into disarray with two words: "Not dead." This year, there are more surprises in store.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all. 

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) –Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Christmas with You by hey_there_buddy (NR, 3,258+ w., 11/? Ch. || WiP || Christmas, Marriage Proposal, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Established Relationship, Waltzing, Morning Kisses) – Sherlock wants to propose John and he came up with his own idea.

From the First Time That I Saw You by BookGirlWithLove (E, 6,813+ w., 4/16 Ch. || WiP || Actor John AU || Christmas, Meet Cute) – Sherlock Holmes very rarely paid any attention to popular culture. He didn’t listen to the radio or watch telly. He seldom watched films. Unless that film had a certain actor in it. A certain actor who, while he might not be on everyone’s favourite list, was most certainly on Sherlock’s. In fact, he was the only celebrity to ever give Sherlock pause, which said a lot. That actor was John Watson. Who was currently standing in Sherlock’s sitting room, awkwardly holding two bottles of wine.

Christmas in Honeycutt by helloliriels (T, 25,768+ w., 12/16 Ch. || WIP || Christmas in Connecticut AU / WWII AU || Kidnapping, Spies / Secret Agents, Codes & Ciphers, Past Relationships, Developing Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – John's publisher asks if his family could entertain a war hero at their idyllic estate in Somerset for Christmas. Only ... John doesn't have a wife ... or a daughter. Or an estate. He has a bedsit. In London. And some wounds of his own to recover from ... but he can't tell his publisher that or he'll get fired … What's a writer to do? Cracking Codes. Super Spies. Sherlock in Disguise. A wild Christmas romance set in the countryside! Just what the doctor ordered! Part 6 of the Liriels Chaptered Fics series

The Prince of Hearts by prettysailorsoldier (M, 46,206+ w., 12/? Ch. || Modern Royalty AU || WiP || Matchmaker Sherlock, Prince John, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining, Christmas, Fluff) – Sherlock Holmes is making big waves in London as the head of a thriving matchmaking firm, his unconventional approach earning him the title 'The Chemist'. To Sherlock, love is in the data, a collection of variables plugged into equations to calculate the perfect match, but, when the royal family of the small country of Galerre hires him to find a spouse for the crown prince, he will find that some matters of the heart are not so easily solved.

Since First I Saw Your Face by Stavia_Scott_Grayson (M, 398,966+ w., 19/22 Ch. || WiP || ACD Canon / 1884 Victorian AU || Friends to Lovers, Pining, UST/URT, POV Sherlock, Christmas, Developing Relationship, Turkish Baths, Victorian Attitudes, Sussex Holiday, Cocaine, Holmes’ Childhood, Cold Cases, References to Canon) – During the Great Hiatus, Holmes, studying in Tibet, reflects on his first meeting with Dr John Watson.

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Your Humble Servant (Hannigram AU)

Explicit // M/M // Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter // Tags: Alternate Universe - historical, primarily 1912 - 1920s, lord Hannibal, farm boy Will, abandoned Will, adopted Will, childhood friendship, getting to know each other, developing relationship, first kiss, yearning, pining, separation, parental death (Hannibal's parents), angst, period typical societal bullshit, financial ruin, misunderstandings, The Great War, WW1, warfare, trench warfare, kissing, hand jobs, secret relationship, flashbacks, period typical lube, anal fingering, anal sex, love confessions, The Battle of the Somme, injury, injury recovery multiple separations and reunions, pining, angst, life altering injuries, disability, PTSD, nightmares, London secret gay community, 1920s London, classism, reunion, rekindled relationship, revelations, (belated) reunion sex, biting, possessive sex, dirty talk, morning blow job, unexpected visitors, jealousy, flashbacks, revelations, hurt/comfort, family drama, more separation and more angst (sorry), brief Hannibal/Donald Sutcliffe, semi-public sex, declarations of love, family secrets, growing old together, time skips, happy ending. 

From abandoned baby to farm hand, from soldier to clerk, Will's life is a twisted road with only one constant, a love he is sure he can never have.

_______________________________________________________

“Can I help you, my lord?”

Hannibal looked up and blushed when he realised he’d been seen by Mr Graham, peering into his pigpen.

“I, uh…” Hannibal stammered. Almost ten years old and the heir of the lord of this great estate, he knew he should always be eloquent and fair like his father. This, despite the fact that being caught snooping made him feel ashamed to the point of anger. He schooled himself and cleared his throat, but before he could continue the farmer chuckled and shook his head. 

“If it’s young Will you’re after, he’s inside helping his mother with the crate. If you’re wanting to wait m’lord, he’ll be taking it up to the big house shortly. He could keep you company on your way back.”

Hannibal straightened himself and gave a curt nod to the farmer, who smiled warmly and tipped his hat. 

“Go on in then, m’lord. I dare say Mrs Graham has some tea brewing.”

Hannibal gave another nod and finally replied, “my thanks, Mr Graham.”

The farmer tipped his hat with another smile and Hannibal took his leave, trying not to seem too eager in his gait as he strode over the flagstones up to the little farmhouse. 

Hannibal knew from the etiquette lessons his nanny had begun to instil in him that it wasn’t proper to be too enthusiastic or overbearing in a friendship, even as a child. Frivolities should be in measure, and must always be proper. 

Perhaps his friendship with the farmer’s son was improper in some ways - by virtue of their birth at least. But, at almost eight years of age, Will Graham was the only child even remotely near his age in the near vicinity. 

And the truth was, he found Will fascinating.

Your Humble Servant is now posting on AO3

All chapters are already available on my Patreon!

[poochiray]

The Trainee and my final thoughts

Although the acting and cinematography was beautiful within this show, the writing and directing choices truly let me down. This show had so much potential. It was shaping up to be my favorite OffGun show. And then that drastically changed as OffGun were pushed aside in their own show.

I think the writers forgot who was supposed to be the main character within their own story. This wasn't called "The Trainees" it was "The Trainee." Ryan was the central focus since the very beginning, and I expected that throughout its entirety. There is nothing more frustrating than getting attached to a character and their story and then being starved of it in the second half of the series. I was just hoping and praying the next episode will have more of him.

And the story they decided to focus on instead? Garbage.

Yes, I get it. That could be someone's real life experience right there. Exploring queerness and only ever knowing your high school sweetheart. But we didn't need all that alongside Ryan and Jane's story. Or if we did need to show it, their romance could have been more off screen. Maybe Ryan could have heard about Judy and Bahmee going out for noodles and getting cozy.

But instead, Ryan's romance goes offscreen. Ryan and Jane were on the phone for over an hour? Um hello? Where was that? Jane asking Ryan to dinner again? What I would give to see another date scene for them! Or even more of an in depth conversation about Ryan and this being his first love. Or hell, even more of the Nine flashback. Those two were exes? Where was the romance? It wasn't there, but you know what was there? That fucking love triangle that did nothing but frustrate me.

Bahmee and Tae are not likeable characters. I honestly did not care any more about them. They are horrible and deserve each other. Let's move the fuck on.

Writers: a tip. Don't lose focus on your main character and waste so much time on other characters that aren't even liked. If their story can be cut, it should. Trim that fat and go back to your main character. I'm begging.

Things I would have changed:

Bahmee and Tae not getting back together. Stay single. Grow the hell up. Learn to be independent adults first.

Jane and the ghosting? What the actual fuck. This coming from the man who always told Ryan to "talk to him and tell him what's wrong"? Nah. I don't believe it. Don't ruin a character all for the sake of a dramatic 5 year reunion at the end.

Brave Ryan. This was my favorite thing about Ryan. He confessed his feelings for his superior. We could have seen more of that bravery. I would have loved to see Ryan push it further and actually pursue his mentor. Making Jane pull back and scold him for flirting with him at work! This back and forth would have been amazing!

A more proper goodbye. If that kiss in the car was their goodbye kiss, I wanted it more explicitly stated that they were breaking up. That they couldn't do long distance. Just more communication! And yeah...if they wanted to take things back to Jane's place because that was his last night there, I would not have complained at all. Jane is a fully grown man ffs. I don't believe for a second they didn't fuck that night.

A domestic slice of life ending. They went house hunting? Why the hell didn't we see it?

Honestly, why the hell was so much of this romance off screen? I came here for OffGun, and I feel like all I got was bare minimum. Sigh. Maybe their next show will be better than this. All I can do is hope.

[givefangapuppy]

oooh I love it... but I'm just as enamoured of the delicious reverse... newly confident Stede, sure he's in love, free from everything that had held him back, looking right past the Kraken, staring down Ed and then kissing him HARD. Kissing him first, worrying about proper reunions and verbal confessions later. Ed took the plunge last time; Stede needs to do it this time.

you know what im just gonna say it. i want to see still pissed, tension-filled, not-yet-reunited/made-up ed intimidatingly stare down stede directly in the eyes and make the demand "kiss me"

[bluewhispersandabsinth]

still not a multi-fandom blog but I finished watching Good Omens 2 and I have thoughts and I want to ramble about them.

But since it's not the main theme of this blog, I don't plan to write GO fanfic again any time soon, and it's rambling about the ending, thus, spoilers, I put it under the cut.

I like that the ending of season 2 was in many ways an enhanced interaction of what happened in episode 3, season 1, including the "Come with me!" and "I forgive you." In a way, it was almost more dramatic given that Crowley didn't just want to go to one of their headquarters and stay involved with Earth and the humans together with his partner, but to elope to a different galaxy.

The speech wasn't that much different, just a bit more self-aware (important, sweet, but they still had similar conversations about "let's be on our side!" before many times, even in the BC times, and if compared, while a similar gist, it has slowly become more and more self-aware over time already, but never was full there before), it really just lacked the kiss and many of us suspected if it weren't for keeping the material a bit more mainstream appropriate when it was written, there would have been a kiss. I wonder actually if that's the reason why the scenes are so similar. To finally do what should have been done a long time before.

Anway, what I'm getting at -

"Let's do [radical thing] together!" - "No!" - "But...!" - "I forgive you." - One storms off (statistically, mostly Crowley) - one gets in trouble (statistically, mostly Aziraphale but then it's not gets but "gets") - dramatic reunion

seems to be a pattern throughout their friendship, including the emotional bond growing and escalating a bit further every time (yeah, it feels dramatic now, that we see it, but it's all happening and building up over 6000 years, sometimes with decades or centuries between "breakup" and reunion.)

I wonder if we'll get the full story of the 1793 prison scene. So far we've learned: Aziraphale knows that Crowely loves saving him and doesn't mind acting a little helpless/putting himself in danger and he did the "You're right, I am wrong dance" the same year. Combined with the smugness and "Oh, you!" from both sides, and Aziraphale's rather lame reasons why he ended up there and why he unfortunately, unfortunately can neither miracle nor charm himself out of jail? Yeah, that's a story that smells of a dramatic previous setup. Like a "breakup" over sides, for example.

I bet one wild fan theory that what looks extremely dramatic to us is the same song and dance they've been through countless times in 6k years and, if anyone remembers the manga and how it ended, we're steering toward a Ranma 1/2-esque resolution, maybe with more open and blunt handholding but all in all, nothing really changed aside from Crowley finally saying what Aziraphale already knew or at least expected (our angel guy doesn't seem very surprised by the confession and more pained by the timing and context than anything else).

All in all, ep6s2 feels more like the midpoint or late third of a whole season, especially if compared to the pacing and beats of the first season. And now, the second coming?

Sounds like the hint at a future conflict based on the same premise as the main arc of season 1, just from the other perspective (wouldn't be surprised if it included the concept of "The Rapture" in one form or the other, would be funny if Crowley turned out to be behind the belief in The Rapture but not to please Hell but to annoy Aziraphale with paperwork).

Anyway, it's good that things are how they're now. Aziraphale gets to step out of their routine and to experience one of his big "What ifs..." that he'd have wondered about until eternity if he hadn't been given the chance to be a proper angel in Heaven again.

And now, Crowley has to share Earth with Gabriel, Beelzebub, and Muriel, three immortal beings like him, with very different personalities from him and Aziraphale.

Choosing someone as your forever-person over others and lifechoices is only a true choice when you experience options.

If they end up together after another season and choose to stay together on Earth, independent from their backgrounds, it'll be because they truly choose to, and not brought together by proximity loneliness for being two of a kind.

I really hope that's an angle they'll go with in the future.

[gottagobackintime]

[fayes-fics]

Tell me (all the ways you missed me)

pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

summary: Having been apart for 3 weeks, you share an eventful carriage ride.

warnings: 18+, minors dni, smut, vaginal sex, oral sex (m to f), lots of dirty talk, hair pulling, mention of spanking, slightly rough passionate consensual sex.

word count 3.1k

author's note: Sorry, this is nowhere near as lyrical as my last fic. There’s really no excuse for this, it’s just porn (and a lighthearted epilogue). What can I say, Benedict is a dangerous muse. And I love to make him talk dirty. 😉

It’s been three weeks. Twenty-one days and 10 hours, to be precise. 

You’ve never been apart this long before. 

Delayed in Calais, Benedict finally got home from his Paris trip right as you needed to leave for the annual Bridgerton Ball. There was no chance of a proper reunion, just a hello kiss, exchanges of I love yous, then he barely even had time to bathe and change quickly.

Now you sit opposite one another in your carriage. The smells of his soap and freshly washed skin hanging heavy in the air. You sigh, fanning your face, smoothing down your dress, fussing with your hair, and trying not to think of the insistent throb between your legs. It’s been far too long since he touched you; it’s driving you to distraction being so close with no chance of relief. You can’t stop tapping your foot, needing some way to dissipate the energy you feel shimmering across your skin in his presence. He looks devastatingly handsome in his formal attire. (You want to sink to your knees and beg him to take you right here.)

“Whatever is the matter, my love?” Benedict asks after a few moments of noting your agitated state. His expression is the very picture of loving concern. Damn him. Damn his beautiful face. (Your mind flashes back to that face between your thighs, begging you to come.)

“I've missed you," you reply plaintively, curling your hand around your knee, trying to quell the fidgeting. (Trying even harder not to think about his hand in the same position as he fucks you.) 

“I’ve missed you too,” his smile warm as he reaches out to lace his fingers in yours. He hasn’t worn gloves tonight; his thumb swipes tenderly across the back of your hand. (The same thumb you love hooked in your mouth while riding him, your thighs trembling.)

“I mean, I've really missed you. I ache for you, Benedict,” you confess in a heated whisper, gripping his hand and (half-crazed with the swirl of heady thoughts) pushing it up your leg, over the junction of your thighs. You know he can feel the heat emanating through the gauzy layers of your dress. 

His lips part in surprise, then morph into a devastating crooked smile as he catalogues the flush on your cheeks, the dilation of your pupils and your inability to just sit still. 

“Well, we must remedy this," he murmurs, his eyes glittering darkly. He rears back, but his loaded stare never leaves you as he pounds on the carriage roof.

“Go around the park," he hollers to the driver. Unlike the street, at this time of night, Hyde Park will be quiet and dark. No street lamps to illuminate you, no passers-by. What a wickedly clever man your husband is. 

There is a muffled confirmation from outside, then a lurch to the side as your carriage abruptly changes course. 

For a few beats, you are both still; your skin prickles in anticipation, just the sounds of hooves and carriage wheels, like the preternatural calm before a storm rolls in when all of nature has gone quiet, awaiting the first lightning strike. 

Then there’s a slight growl as he lunges forward, turns you around and bodily heaves you into his lap—your back colliding with his solid chest. 

He pulls your head to the side into a fierce and unrelenting kiss. His tongue invades your mouth, his arms in a vice-like grip around you. Exactly what you need, what you have missed so damn much. You push back into the kiss, dualling with him - you’ve never been without his touch for this long, and it almost hurts how much you crave it. You chase his lips as he pulls away. 

His right hand snakes up to hold your throat, tilting your chin slightly.

“Tell me all the ways you missed me," he implores hotly into your ear. You wrap your hands around his biceps, needing an anchor, feeling the latent strength hidden there under the layers of fabric. 

“I missed hearing your voice," you whisper, his hand solid against your windpipe as you swallow heavy. “Telling me about your day, your funny stories," you hesitate before adding, “the things you say in our bed” He groans, his fingers flex against your throat, and he gently bites the shell of your ear. 

“I missed your smell so much; I would sleep on your pillow and wear your shirts,” confessing your lovesick behaviour feels cleansing. Benedict nuzzles into your hair, inhaling deeply, his left hand starting to cinch up the layers of your dress until your stockinged knees are exposed, derailing your thoughts.

“Y-your touch," stumbling slightly over your words, “I missed your hands running over my body.” 

His right hand slide heavily from your throat down into the neckline of your dress. He pinches your left nipple between the sides of two fingers. It’s a lightning rod right down to your core. You curse, your fingers digging into his arms where you grip them, your head falling back onto his shoulder. 

“Is that all, dear wife?” His voice is silky in your ear as he circles your areola with a light scratch of his short fingernails before pinching again. You press yourself down onto the meat of his thighs, wanting friction, relief.

“I, I missed seeing you," scrambling to keep your responses coherent “Your face. I saw it in my mind every day." you exhale. He moves so you are face to face, your noses touching.

“Is that better?” He soothes, not kissing but teasing as if he might, fingers still snagging around your nipple. 

“Put your knees on either side of mine," he murmurs, his lips ghosting against yours. You instantly obey his request, staring into his eyes, hypnotised by the possibilities, knowing you would do anything he asked right now, anything.

You gasp as he spreads his knees apart, pinning your legs wide open. You can feel his cock, solid against your tailbone, even through the layers of clothing. Your mouth waters at the possibility of taking it down your throat right now; you want to make him come so bad your skin itches.

He trails his left hand heavily up your inner thigh, over your stockings, under your gathered dress. His inhale is sharp when he encounters your bare slit exposed and already soaked.

“I should spank you for going to my family ball with no underwear," he pants into your mouth, cupping you solidly, pulling again on your nipple.

“Oh yes, please do," you moan. “Please, anything, I need you” you latch your lips onto his, eager for some relief. 

“How do you want me, my love?” burying his fingers into your folds and making you pant against his tongue. “Do want my hands, my mouth, my cock? Hmmm? It’s your choice.”

“Any, all of it," you rush, " anything just….”

“Nuh-uh uh," he tuts, running his nose over your cheek “, you have to choose.”

“Cock," you whisper confessionally. You just want that exquisite stretch and ache.

“You really have missed me, haven’t you?” He teases, pulling his hands from your body, unhooking your feet from his legs and pushing you gently off his lap. Your knees slide onto the rough carriage floor, and he drops behind you, snapping off the stays on his braces, unbuttoning his trousers just enough to free himself. His hands grab your dress and move it up onto your back. He is going to take you like this; you both fully clothed. Somehow it seems more erotic than if you were naked. 

You burn with anticipation as he leans your top half over the seat, the velvet of the fabric tickling your forearms. He sweeps your hair off your neck, one hand cresting around your hipbone, the other guiding himself into you. He’s not teasing or slow, and he doesn’t need to be. You are beyond ready for him. 

He pushes into the hilt in one swift, sharp thrust. You cry out, your eyes rolling from the pleasure of this total invasion: the stretch, the weight, the heat of him inside you. 

“Oh, my love," he groans into the skin of your neck. “I have missed you so very much.” 

“Tell me how you missed me”, you plead; his voice has always been your weakness - never more so than when he’s inside you and saying the most illicit things.

“I missed your voice”, he begins as he pulls back out. You cry as he slams back into you. “I missed how you sound when I take you like this, so desperate and needy for me. The way you say my name when I push hard into you. It sounds like a beautiful sonnet. No one else should be allowed to say my name but you,” he pants, building a steady rhythm. You feel every contour of him dragging along your walls, revelling in the carnal push and pull.

“Make it hurt, Benedict,” whispering your plea, ashamed of your own need, more intense than ever before. It’s been weeks; you need to feel him; need him to leave impressions on your body and soul. He bears down on you, his arms heavy over yours, grabbing your wrists and pinning you in place. 

“I missed the smell of your skin,” he continues, taking a deep breath against your nape. “I missed your smell when you’re so aroused for me just like this. It’s so intoxicating.” He breathes deep. “This carriage will smell like your beautiful cunt for days, and it makes me want to take a long trip even though I just got home.” You moan at the onslaught of his words and intense movements. He’s only just getting started on both.

“I missed your touch. Your hands soothing me, teasing me. How it feels to have your hand wrapped around my cock. I missed how you pull my hair when you want me to bite you.” Taking your cue, you reach back and grab a fistful of his locks, feeling it tug against his scalp. Benedict groans, sinking his teeth into the base of your neck. 

He is unrelenting—his pent-up desperation from three weeks of separation manifesting in every thrust. Tomorrow you will have bruises on your knees, bite marks on your neck and fingerprints on your hips, and you’ll relish every single one. You’ll want him to fuck you again in front of a mirror so you can see what he has done to you, begging him to do it again.

“I missed how it feels to be inside you.” He gathers your loose hair into his fist and pulls it tight, jerking your head up so you see the underside of his jaw. “Oh, do you have any idea how heavenly it is, my dear? So hot, so tight, so delectably silken. I never want to be anywhere but buried deep inside you.” 

You clench around him intentionally, and it staggers him, he releases his grip on your hair, and his weight falls heavily against your back, almost winding you, pinning you down.

“Do that again,” he pleads. You do so as forcefully as possible, loving how it makes his cock feel impossibly large inside you like he is splitting you apart. He lets out a long groan. 

“You talented minx,” he says through gritted teeth, hunching over you, changing the angle of his hips. Somehow he feels deeper than before. He is filling you to the top, radiating an ache deep inside that tugs across to your hip bones. You grab his hands on the seat and squeeze them. The hurt is so good you can't help the frenzied noises you make on every stroke.

“Oh, you like that, don't you?” he rumbles low. “Let's see just how much,” his voice challenges as he redoubles his speed and efforts. You pant out a cry on every stroke; it feels like he could break something inside you, and you chase the feeling unrelentingly. 

There is no way the coachmen above don’t know precisely what he’s doing to you now. And oh, god help you, if that doesn’t turn you on more. You lower your face to muffle your keening sounds into the seat cloth. 

“No,” he reprimands when he sees what you are doing. He pulls you up off the seat and both into an upright position, your knees scrabbling on the carriage floor. Your back flush against his heaving chest, his cock now stilled but buried deep inside you. “I want to hear you, my love. Don’t you dare stifle those beautiful cries.” 

“I missed seeing your face when you’re in the throes of ecstasy; there is nothing more beautiful; I want to paint it and hang it in a gallery,” he whispers, stroking your cheek, pulling out of you again, achingly slow. “I can’t wait to do this all again later, so I can see your gorgeous naked body entwined with mine.” 

“More, please, please, need it”, you implore, gritting your teeth, pushing shamelessly back onto him. You want him to move again; you want him as riled up and crazed as he makes you feel. 

“That’s right, wife, take what you need,” he growls. “ I love how wanton you are tonight.” He dives a hand under your dress and starts a circular motion right on your clit. “I want to make you scream so loud over and over,” his voice is almost menacing.

He starts thrusting vigorously. With the angle afforded by this position, he is dragging forcefully against the spot that makes your bones feel liquid and your skin on fire. He doesn’t slow his pace, his fingers constantly rubbing circles. You are dangling so so close to your precipice. 

“But my love, do you know what I missed the most?” He whispers darkly in your ear. You shake your head, incapable of speech when you are strung so taught, being so heavily fucked. 

“I missed your taste,” he intones, diving in for a deep kiss “your mouth is so sweet”. He pulls out of you suddenly, lifting your hips high in the air, straightening your legs. “But most of all, I missed this taste” before he buries his whole face between your legs. You scream as his chin stubble rasps your clit and his tongue delves into you. It’s so overwhelming; he’s never done this before from behind. “Here, your taste is like ripe berries, so tart and sweet,” he groans, his voice muffled. 

It’s what tips you over the edge. You scream his name, the invisible string holding your body tight snapping, your nerve endings on fire, your vision whiting out. He has to hold you up, his arms wrapped tight around your thighs, as your legs buckle. 

Trembling aftershocks quake your senses as he effortlessly flips you over so you’re facing each other for the first time. He pushes you onto the seat, pulls your hips to the edge, your legs wide apart, your ankles hitting either side of the carriage and reenters you swiftly, his fingers immediately finding your nub again.

“I don’t think I… I can again, oh god, Benedict, this is too much”, you cry out, oversensitive and wrung out, reaching out and grabbing the buttons on his jacket.

“You can and you will.” He replies, observing you as each thrust proves him correct. He pulls one side of your neckline down and attacks the mound of your breast with his mouth. 

He feels so hot and like steel plunging into you. You chant a mixture of his name and incoherent sounds as you spiral higher again and shockingly soon. 

“That’s it, my love. You can do this again; so beautiful. I want you to do this all night; please, please,” his needy words vibrate over your skin but sound far away as the rushing sound of blood pumping in your ears takes over.

You cry out as your second orgasm crests, rolling slower than you first, creeping up your spine from your core to your arms, hands, and fingers, stealing the breath from your lungs. Closing your eyes, letting the wave take you away, the blissful feeling bringing a bone-deep pulsing serenity. Distantly, you hear Benedict hissing and calling your name, teeth catching your breast as his movements stutter. His hipbones jutting into your inner thighs as he holds you open and empties himself hard and heavy deep inside you.

As you come back to reality, feeling his warmth spreading inside you, he pulls out and collapses onto you. His head is resting on your chest, his hands stroking gently down your sides.

You both lay spent for a few moments; the only sound is that of your heavy breaths and the carriage and horses. You want to feel embarrassed for the noises and commotion the coachmen must have heard, but you can’t find yourself ashamed of the passion you share with your husband. You are so elated to be reunited with him, the happiness bubbling into a playful mood.

“But I didn’t get to taste you,” you pout ruefully after a beat, running your hands through his hair.

He huffs a laugh and twists his head to look up at you. “There is always the carriage ride home, my love.” He drops a soft kiss onto your breast and rights the gown he had wrenched down before.

“Is that a promise, Mr Bridgerton?” You tease lightly, both of you smiling.

“Oh yes, it is, Mrs Bridgerton,” he chuckles seductively, surging up and sealing the deal with a kiss on your lips.

*****

Epilogue:

Fifteen minutes later, you are standing in Bridgerton House, a welcome lemonade quenching your thirst. You arrived somewhat late - no surprise there - so you hope they will serve hors d'oeuvres soon. A trickle runs down your inner thigh into your stocking, reminding you exactly how you have built up the appetite.

You’re glad you wore your hair mostly loose for tonight, conveniently hiding the blossoming toothmarks on the back of your neck. 

Mostly you are impressed you have both been able to make yourselves entirely presentable in the short ride over from the park. No one at the ball would ever suspect anything. 

Hyacinth comes bounding up and hugs you from behind. 

“Hi Y/N. It's so lovely to see you. You look beautiful. One question, though, why is Benedict's cravat pin in your hair like that? I mean, I'm all for trying new fashions, but that's an interesting one.”

Next to you, Benedict's face is a picture as his hand flies to his neck unbidden. Your cheeks flush as you recall exactly how it would have ended up there. Anthony and Kate look pointedly at you both, sporting the same raised eyebrow. Well, okay, so maybe some people might suspect something.

tags: @foreverlonginguniverse @makaylan

[4lexnilsen]

alex takes a step back,  looking very much shell-shocked.   his face drains of color as he stares at the swell of abilene’s stomach,  hand flying to his mouth to keep any sounds from escaping.   he can’t believe what he’s seeing,  mostly because they’ve been through a lot these past couple of weeks —   the quarter quell,  their sudden separation as he got captured by the capitol and she was rescued by the rebels,  the heartbreaking reunion when he came back to her but only as a ghost of the person he’d once been,  the rebellion…   it’s a miracle.   a new life blooming under these conditions.

obviously,  this isn’t the kind of world that he’d like to bring a baby into.   not yet.   not in the middle of a bloody revolution.   not when any day can be their last.   but here they are…   he takes a deep breath and it comes out as a shaky exhale,  fingers moving to his hair,  carding through the sandy curls as he attempts to make sense of it all.   he’s always wanted to have a family of his own,  a wife and a bunch of babies,  but given what happened to his mother,  how the lack of proper care had cost her her life,  he’s also always been extremely wary of this very dream.   and yet that didn’t stop him from being reckless.   “i thought it wouldn’t…”   he trails off,  shaking his head,  still very much at a loss for words.     

it’s only when abilene begins to utter apologies,  her voice distant and filled with emotion,  that alex comes back to his senses,  realizing his initial reaction may have been far from ideal.   his surprise could easily be interpreted as disappointment or anger.   “mi vida,”   he whispers softly,  shaking his head as his hands find her cheeks,  thumbs caressing the skin right beneath her eyes.   lips planting a sweet kiss on her forehead.   he holds her face for a moment,  so tenderly as though she was made of glass.   “you have nothing to apologize for,  alright?   it’s nothing short of a miracle.   our tiny miracle.”   his features soften as he pulls back just to run his fingers through her curls,  tucking them behind her ears with affection.   “i’m sorry.   how could i fail to notice what you’ve been going through?   i’m sorry for not being here for you two from the beginning.”   he does what they always do when confessing their love for one another and bumps their noses together,  his own eyes filling with tears.

“and hello to you,  too,  little darling.”   he drops to his knees,  his large hands resting atop abilene’s dainty ones.   a single tear rolls down his cheek because he can’t believe any of this is actually happening,  because it’s so beautiful and terrifying,  because he feels so very guilty for failing to create a safe space for his own wife to open up and let him in on this growing secret.   was he too focused on himself?   on ensuring the success of this rebellion?   on revenge and rage and hatred?   “it’s daddy.”   the word alone does something indescribable to his heart,  has it swelling so impossibly and aching at the same time.   will he be a good dad?   live up to abi’s expectations?   and what kind of life will he give this little human?   he gently moves abi’s hands away,  just enough so that he can kiss her bump.   “nice to meet you,  too.”

abilene hadn't really cried since alex had been rescued , not like she had before . she had laid in bed at night all those nights before their reunion letting silent sobs scratch and tear their way out of her throat until the morning alarms would go off and she would wipe her eyes and continue on . tears of relief were shed when they were reunited , tears of joy upon seeing him alive once again , but never tears of pain or fear .

what the fuck ?

her vision grew blurry as alex unbuttoned her shirt . she tried to swallow down the wave of emotions that rocked through her body but there was no use . soon the blur that was alex morphed into one big blur while her lower lip trembled . abilene's breath was shaky , shuddering as it left her lips .

❛ i i'm sorry . ❜ her words felt like they were clawing their way up her throat and when she blinked she felt the tears fall down her cheeks . both of her hands moved to the swell of her belly as though trying to protect them . she wasn't afraid of alex , she would never be afraid of alex , but she was afraid of losing him . . . she was afraid that it would all be too much and he would walk away .

❛ i-i am so sorry , ❜ she shuddered out . her eyes were red and her lower lip trembled . ❛ i d-didn't know how and and you were . . . ❜ recovering , she wanted to say . would he believe her when she said she loved him , or would there always be doubt now ? ❛ i was afraid . ❜

[annes-andromeda]

Nah fuck volume 2 tbh. Catch me with my rewrite:

• Eddie gets to live because his death was literally for no reason and he gets to be the party’s cool uncle and he has his badass guitar moment while being a hero (basically being a bard like Dustin)

• The whole j*ncy vs st*ncy thing is finally laid to rest with Nancy breaking up with Jonathan and being an independent woman

• Brenner, Owens, Enzo, Murray, and Yuri die cause I can honestly live without their existence (and fuck the writers for trying to make us sympathize for Brenner)

• Tbh I don’t know what to do with Karen so maybe have her find out about the whole upside down stuff. Oh and kill off Ted so she’s finally free of her loveless marriage.

• Robin asks Vickie out but Vickie says that she’s dated a few boys and that causes Robin to loose hope. Only for Vickie to say that she’s eyed some girls too, revealing herself to be bisexual. Robin gets to be happy and have the girl of her dreams all while being a badass goofball.

• Jonathan gets to be a badass monster hunter and teams up with Steve, Nancy, Robin, Eddie, Argyle, and maybe even Vickie, and they form the monster hunting squad. #LetJonathanBreakSomeonesKneecaps

• Mike gets Vecna’d and we find out about his internalized homophobia and his massive crush on Will. And his monologue is about how he’s been forced to conform his whole life and how he doesn’t know how to accept himself for who he is and he’s literally having a gay crisis.

• El has a mutual break up with Mike and she ends being an independent woman and Hopper’s love is what gives her the power to fight Vecna. She still has her emotional reunion with Hopper but she also gets it with the rest of the party cause we need more party moments.

And the most important things of all:

• Wil gets a proper coming out scene and Jonathan accepts him and loves him. Will actually says out loud that he likes boys and is gay and it’s not subtext or whatever.

• Will gets to give Mike the painting and it’s of them on the swings on the day they met. Will says the “without heart…” line and Mike notes that’s it corny and they both laugh about and it’s a cute scene.

• Mike gives Will a bunch of letters all signed “Love, Mike” and a mixtape signed “For Will”, revealing byler to be requited.

• Will also gets Vecna’d and we get a Lonnie flashback. It’s this big emotional moment where Mike openly confesses his feelings and says I love you. This is what causes wills powers to emerge. Before getting his powers though, he gets to use a shotgun and blow demobats up or something. As a treat

• Its actually revealed that the reason why Vecna is targeting people now is that due to Will and El moving, his two biggest adversaries are out of the picture and he can regain power once more. And yes, Dustin was right and Vecna is working for the Mind Flayer.

• Eleven isn’t enough to stop Vecna, so she teams up with Will and the Wonder Twins save the day. However, this victory is at a cost. It turns out that Hawkins and the Upside Down have merged together, bringing about the return of the Mind Flayer. That is the cliffhanger of the season.

• With byler requited, Mike and Will get together (miss me with that waiting another season bullshit) and they have their big kiss. We see Lucas and Dustin walk in and Dustin mutters a “finally…” under his breath, all the while Lucas is shook. El and Mike end off on good terms and El is happy for her brother, but she will snap Mikes neck if he even thinks of hurting Will.

• Byler have their forehead touch and they hold hands tightly as they watch Hawkins become a literal hell on earth. But they’ll face it together. Because the rest of the party stands with them. The monster hunting squad stands with them. Hopper and Joyce stand with them. The last shot is the whole cast standing together, looking over Hawkins, ready to face the apocalypse, face Vecna, and face the Mind Flayer.

Crazy together

Alright deadass who wants me to write this and who wants to help??

[wheelerthefroghere]

So Byler in S5? I’m still 100% confident. 

Don’t know if this has been said because I haven’t gone through the tag yet. Here we go. First of all, at no point in Volume 2 did we get a kiss between Mike and El. After Mike’s “confession” we also failed to get a proper conversation between the two or even a confirmation on her side that she still loves him. Once again, every meaningful conversation these two seem to have as a couple happens offscreen lmao. Now, let’s talk parallels. 

Reunions:

Both of these scenes begin with hugs (which are also super similar) followed by forehead touches. Then...

Sound familiar? Also, again, both take place right after a reunion hug. There’s also more of the “bitchin’?” “bitchin’” stuff which has been a Hopper + El and a Mike + El parallel before. So, like, yeah. Super romantic that Mike’s relationship with Eleven is still being constantly paralleled to her platonic, familial relationship with her dad. 

Then we still have this...

So not only is Mike like El’s dad. He’s also like her papa. Love to see it. 

I also think it’s kind of hilarious that in his confession, he tells El that he was never scared of her, but this still begs to differ. I don’t know. Kinda weird. Also a little weird that he only confessed to El after Will prompted him to. Isn’t that sort of a callback to Mike prompting Will to dance with that girl at the snow ball? Could this not just be him playing his part as the heart and just saying what he thinks he needs to say to her? Cause I still haven’t seen what truth El wouldn’t have liked to hear from him. 

The whole love at first sight thing contradicts the Stranger Things Writers who have said they don’t believe in love at first sight. His speech also contradicts the moment when he told Will that asking him to be his friend was the best thing he’d ever done (what with Mike not really living until he met El). There really isn’t anything in his confession to El that necessarily makes it romantic. Platonic love is just as important as romantic love and that’s still what could have been meant. I’m not saying he was lying to her about everything, I just don’t think we were supposed to take it as “I’m in love with you” sort of thing. 

My dudes, they are giving us the slow burn of the century. They’ve been building it up and we are getting the pay-off in season 5. I’m 100% sure of it. I seriously have no shred of doubt. 

Finally: 

Don’t you love seeing all of the couples standing together?  ♥

[huicitawrites]

Re:incarnate

“Reincarnate”

Yandere! Sukuna x Curse! Reader

(fanart not mine, artist not found)

Word count: 1,377K

Warning: gore, mentions of death, yandere themes

AS HE IS THE KING OF CURSES, it would be expected of Ryomen Sukuna to hate. That, being crafted from the scourge of men’s heart; of envy, of wrath, of sadness, of vast egos- such a creature would ‘hate’ in his innate nature.

Yet, the king of curses never lowered himself to such pathetic, trashy emotions. It was a waste of time, curses or humans alike, Sukuna relished in their pain. He never hated, because hatred would not allow him space for enjoying the shrieks of his victims and the taste of the mixture of blood and tears. Sukuna felt joy under the suffering of others, by his hands of course.

The way his victims begged for their lives, how they squealed like lowly pigs, the way tears spurted from their eyes, the dawn of horror over their face as soon as realization fell over their tiny, squishy heads.

Yes, Sukuna felt joy over the death by his hands.

However, if Sukuna felt Joy, then he could very well experience Grief, and if he could grief, then the King of Curses could love- and then, he would hate.

This predicament fell over him when he met the one he’d title the Curse of Solitude, [Y/N]

[Y/N] was born from pain entirely, and the worst kind there is- heartache; abandoned children and spouses, betrayed friends and lovers, castaways and friendless people. Hence, [Y/N] was lonely from the start- though Sukuna found them.

The King of Curses found the curse as a newborn, lost within the woods. In spite of the rejection their tears brought him, Sukuna experienced something which he had never before.

Sukuna’s four eyes had softened its gaze at them, and the first thing that came to mind was to comfort them. On the days to come forward, Sukuna would nurture the Curse of Solitude. He would provide the tear-stained curse a home within his shrine, curses at their liege, villagers to pray on, and last but most importantly- company by his side.

Eventually, and as curses grew fast, the King of Curses and the Curse of Solitude became great friends and partners in crime. Together, they would bring forth suffering, misery and death upon countless villages.

They grew strong together, over years and years he got to see how they developed. Though [Y/N] was tied down to sadness, they’d wear a casual, warm smile on their lips and a soft look on their eyes. Their voice was pleasant and sweet in his ears, relaxing in his mind- ridding him of his existence as a curse and the blood on his hands. Soon, Sukuna found himself satisfied and content with the delicate [Y/N].

In spite of his feelings, [Y/N] did not reciprocate- at least, not as he would wish.

Because the Curse of Solitude yearned for their innate loneliness to banish. For hours, they found themselves observing fondly the way human children ran around with sticks, the way humans would eat and laugh together, or hold such intimacy between them.

Such was not possible with the King of Curses- not even after the afternoons they spent together, or the skies they gazed at, no. [Y/N] was not born human, and they despised themselves for it- for how children would crumble at their touch, how adults would turn away in despair only to be consumed by their shadow.

Then, [Y/N] would cry and thrash and hate their predicament. Truly, a pitiful existence which Sukuna would treasure and cling desperately to- if only they would focus on him, think solely of him, yearn for him as much as they did for those pesky, disgusting humans.

Ah, yes, Sukuna began to hate.

The King of Curses’ dark heart, but not empty, would putrefy in envy against the humans which stole his beloved’s sight and it would as well putrefy on the drunk lust he held.

His, his, his, ONLY HIS.

And thou still, his feelings are not returned but in fact, stolen along the clan he’d curse for all eternity to come, Zenin vermin.

Such ultimate, lowly, scum of the head of the top three clans which barely attempted to pose a threat to him - and to his partner.

[Y/N] could not see this, no, they were blind. Blind to his love and to the deceit of the dark-haired man’s lies.

The Curse of Solitude snuck each night, when their shadow could not stand out, to observe the peculiar man which had caught their eye. His eyes, the cursed user had felt, held the peace and warmth they craved.

After many nights, they had put up the courage to talk to him. In the midst of the shock upon the sorcerer’s friendliness, perhaps because they had at last mastered the art of disguise, the Curse of Solitude found themselves relieved.

On forth of the nights to come, the lonely curse would sneak from the King’s shrine and embrace to seek the doomed and forbidden love- Megumi Zenin.

The pair would only meet at night and celebrate under the pale white of the moon, and with hopes for the future, they would relish in their company.

That is until the King of Curses would find out at a night’s noticed absence, and in fury he would watch the way the Curse of Solitude had found warmth in the company of the stupid, imbecile scroundel Zenin.

Thus, he came to hate and destroy the village under the custody of the Zenin. In ecstacy, he relished on the screams of children, men and women as he massacred each one by one.

A few survived, Sukuna scolded himself as he picked up his widened-eyes and tear-drowned fiance.

Peace was short lived when stepping at the stairs of his shrine came the three angered clans, annoyed Sukuna had to move his fiancee from the custody of his lap and strong, four caging arms.

“Don’t move, I will return once the garbage is dealt with” with a fast peck [Y/N] wished to rid off, the Curse of Solitude watched helplessly as the four-eyed beast lunged forward into battle- or to cause yet another massacre.

As the dreading seconds went off by the sounds of pierced flesh and blood-curdling screams, [Y/N] awaited impatiently, that is until they sensed the presence of their beloved. At the speed of wind itself, the curse ran down the path to their beloved, across the battlefield and onto their arms.

Without wasting any more seconds, [Y/N] quickly brought their thumbs up his cheeks and wiped away their tears.

“I love you, Megumi” the curse confessed and thus, both kissed in desperate reunion- which lasted mere seconds as a cursed weapon was driven onto the curse’s back- and into his lover's chest.

Ah, yes, Sukuna despised.

A roar, a cry of pain so audible and chilling, echoed through the battlefield and blood was spilled mercilessly. Bones creaked, muscles were shredded and throats were torned.

Carefully, he encased the vanishing curse onto his arms and cradled them close as the King wept and screamed. The void in his heart growing rapid and aching strongly as ever.

He could, though, bring them back with his reversed technique but before he could lift a single one of his twenty-clawed fingers, he was sealed in despair.

For centuries, the harboring hate, despair and yearning grew within his cage soul.

A clumsy, salmon-haired boy found him and oh lucky Sukuna was to found a proper vessel, and even luckier he was.

Destiny had blessed him, for he had found them once again- this time void of cursed energy and with the soft features of a human yet familiar ones.

The boy had befriended the reincarnated scum of the -now- Fushigoro, but at last, Sukuna had found what was rightfully his-

“[Y/N]”, without warning Yuuji’s hands grew sharp nails and his voice turned volumes deeper- like a guttural growl. “I found you at last,” the tall unknown yet familiar figure said, as his strong arms wrapped so perfectly and nicely as would a cage they had been accustomed to would fit, “I will not let you go, never again”

He spat, his eyes opening sharp and glaring with spite at the dark-haired man standing behind her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N: It has been a long time since I've published something. Hope you like it.

[what-inthe-goddamn]

(Fnv) ok, idk if u will like this and do it but i have a stupid headcannon that during the events of dead money, six and christine actually start having feelings for each other and confess before six went to fac Elijah. afterwards, thinking six is dead, she, doug(dog and god) and also Dean if he is alive leave Sierra madre and start their journey. anyways, was wondering wht would happen if six and companions meet the crew when they come to Vegas looking for six and stuff??

Wnoaksidjsisis my heart

Six’s heart dropped when they locked eyes with her. Never in a million years did they think she would cross paths with them again. Words wouldn’t form, so they just ran to her, pulling her into her arms. She melted into their touch. Christine was unable keep her composure, sobbing into their shoulder.

Christine had always kept a small flame of hope in her heart that they had somehow crawled out of that casino. Even if she never got to see them again, it would have been enough just to know. But here was Six, alive and well right before her. At first she swore it was a mirage, dust in her eyes, or that it was just someone who resembled them. All her doubts faded when they called out her name. She ran to them, holding onto them tightly, just like they had as Six prepared to descend into the bunker. Blurting out rushed “I love you”s, not even having a proper moment to seal it with a kiss. Maybe she would have a chance now, to really lay it all down for them. They could start over, take their time to process these feelings. She pulls away from them, feeling eyes on her. A hooded girl, armed with a pneumatic gauntlet. “Veronica”, she calls out to her. What were the odds?

Veronica flings herself at Six and Christine, weeping as they pulled her into their arms. While the voice was different, she could have recognized those soft features anywhere. Years have past, but Christine still carried that glint in her eyes that she had first fallen for during their training.

Dean and Doug we’re just as shocked to see that Six was intact, but nevertheless relieved. Both of them knew Christine never shook it off, the weight of leaving Six, or what was left of them, behind with Elijah. They let Christine and the other two have this moment.

Boone and Raul hung back, at first cautious of the stranger approaching Six. They untensed as Six began their tearful reunion. Cass awed at the three of them, suggesting they catch up at the bar nearby. As cute as it was, the sun was blazing down on them. Arcade agreed, but held out for their sappy moment. These things couldn’t be rushed.