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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

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Unspoken Challenge ~ Bang Chan [M]

WORD COUNT: 4.2K

GENRE: Smut, fluffy, nerdy/dom chan

PAIRING: Nerd Bang Chan x Reader

WARNING: Light choking, squirting, Chan dom...I think that’s it

A pen was tapping over and over again on the desk behind you and it was starting to stress you out. The class was already hard enough you didn't need some moron making it worse, you took in a deep breath trying to push down the urge to smack whoever it was behind you. They'd done nothing but tap the pen onto the desk as if they were anxiously waiting for something to happen. As time passed the pen tapper got faster until you finally snapped, turning around and slamming your hands onto the desk making the pen tapping stop.

"Do you have any idea how god damn annoying you are?!" The boy behind you smirked as you snapped at him, he'd been doing it to wind you. Felix was the University player and liked it whenever girls talked back to him, it gave him a reason to shamelessly flirt with them.

"The dog bites, I like it." You rolled your eyes at the boy who had a giant smirk on his face. Lee Felix, he was one of the popular students at your university and you hated him and his group of friends. They did nothing but wind you and another student up - Christopher Bang - claiming that you were both cheating on tests or they would come up with some kind of nasty rumour about you both this week alone it was that you'd slept with the entire football team. It wound you up that they were always so cruel to Chan when he was nothing but sweet to everyone he met, it didn't bother you so much when they were mean to you but when they were mean to Chan it pissed you off.

"What's up princess? Chan cant get it up and satisfy you in bed?" A bunch of snickers followed the comment he made but you just rolled your eyes again, turning to face the front of as you started waiting for time to pass. 'princess' was Chan's nickname for you, no one else's and it irked you that someone else had the audacity to use it on you. All you had to do was make it through this one lesson and everything would be fine, you could go and find Chan, Minho and Seungmin and go for lunch. The only thing getting you through this lesson was the thought of lunch with your boyfriend and two close friends.

"We all know what you're after, a good dicking but you're not going to get it from Chan," Felix whispered in your ear as he leant forward to you. He noticed you watching the clock above the teachers head and chuckled softly,

"You can come to me anytime, I'll show you how a real man should fuck you..." Hearing his words you drowned out his voice thinking about the first time that you and Chan had been together...How he was nothing like you thought he would be. See, everyone had Chan pegged to be the super quiet, shy and nerdy type...Which he was but once you got him into the bedroom it was as if an alter ego took over. You called him Christopher since Chan hated whenever someone would call him by his long name.

"Running late?" Minho smirked as you began sprinting towards the student library as you ignored him but he just ran alongside you, teasing you repeatedly as you rushed to get to the door.

"Minho, fuck off. If I'm late again Chan will kill me." You mumbled as you slowed down to a walk outside the door, pushing the double doors open to see Chan had already packed up his things.

"Chan I was caught up at work-"

"Whatever, you clearly don't want to get through the class. I'm not wasting my time with you." You hated that he was blowing you off, you'd been trapped at a late shift so you couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't as though you had Chan's number so you could let him know what was going on. He was so private he wouldn't give you his mobile number or where his dorm was, you'd tried to get it from him but he wouldn't tell you.

"Chan I need to pass this class, work kept me behind and made me do a later shift...I want to pass this class please-" You were following him out of the library as he walked away from you, keeping his head down as he tried to ignore the fact that you were there. You weren't going to let him get away with ditching you, not when you really needed this from him. There was no one else you could go to. No one was as smart as Chan and he knew that.

"It's Friday night, just go out and drink...Whatever it is you do on a Friday." He mumbled to you, stopping himself from walking when you stood in front of him. This was the first time he looked at you properly today, you weren't in your normal attire. Normally you'd be in jeans and a low cut top but today you were in a diner dress and some tennis shoes. The nametag on your dress being the giveaway that it was your work attire.

"We can do this Monday, I have plans tonight." He mumbled moving away from you but all he could think about was the dress you were wearing and the way you looked in the dress. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were good looking but he also knew you were out of his league so he was never going to do anything. That didn't stop his mind from wandering about things though, the things he would do to you if you were his and he could have his way with you. Punishing you for being late to an important study session, punishing you for the way you wore low cut tops and bent over in front of him. Sometimes he thought you only did those things just to tease him.

Minho chuckled at you as you watched Chan walking away, his leg was kicked up on the wall behind him as he laughed at you.

"You're not going to drop this are you?" You shook your head at his question and demanded Chan's dorm room number. You knew they were living in the same dorm building and he had to know where Chan was. There was no way you were going to not study, Chan was the smartest kids in the university and not to mention in your course. He was your only hope of passing the test on Tuesday.

The door swung open but Chan didn't seem too happy to see you standing there. The smile on his face dropped and he rolled his eyes, he thought you were the pizza he'd ordered himself. His ''plans'' for Friday night were to sit alone watching the new Anime that had come out with a pizza.

"I told you we could study Monday-" He went to shut the door but you pushed your foot in front of it stopping him from doing so if you were anybody else he would have continued to shut the door.

"Chan, the test is Tuesday. Please. I'm hopeless without your help." He nodded at you not disagreeing that you were hopeless in it and not being able to resist the puppy dog look in your eyes so let you into his dorm room.

"You get one hour, any more than that I'll charge you." You excitedly threw your arms around him, jumping up and down as you thanked him over and over again but his mind was racing. You were still in the diner outfit that made his mind wander over everything, he could feel your chest pressed against him that made him bite his lip.

"Y-Yeah, come on in." He stuttered out, pushing his thick black glasses onto his face as he shut the door behind you.

"What exactly is the part you're struggling on?" He questioned as he walked you into the living area of his apartment, sitting you down and sitting beside you with his own books.

"If I say all of it will you kill me..." He raised his eyebrows at you and shook his head, he had no idea how you could have been struggling with any of it. He was helping the tutor grade papers and all of yours were on par with his. You were smart to say you were one of the popular girls in the University,

"I've been behind because of work, I haven't had time to get as much studying as I would like done." He nodded along with you and then he started questioning you on small bits from the classes that week. Wanting to know what you did and didn't know so he could come up with a studying style that would be best for you.

Later that night you woke up to a blanket being laid over you, you flinched looking up to see Chan standing there. He'd been grilling you for most of the night with questions and when his pizza finally arrived he shared it with you. Choosing to help you rather than throwing you to the curb like he said he was going to do,

"You fell asleep, you looked peaceful so I was going to just-" You shook your head, telling him that he didn't have to explain himself to you.

"C-Can I come over during the weekend? I don't have a shift so I can study for longer. Unless you have plans?" You suggested, getting up from the sofa and hunting around for your bag, the only plans he had would be the anime and he liked the idea of helping you far more than that.

"I don't have plans...You can come tomorrow." He whispered as he began walking you to the door, checking outside of the door to make sure the male tutor wasn't around and you wouldn't get scolded for being in the boy's dorm. The one rule on campus, no girls in the boy's dorms, no boys in the girl's dorms.

"Thanks for this Chan, I owe you one." Without even thinking, you stood up on your tiptoes to give him a small kiss on the cheeks. His ears began to turn a bright red colour making you giggle as you quietly snuck out of his room and headed home, looking forward to the weekend of studying with him. Chan's hand slowly raised to his cheek as he touched where your lips had been, he groaned to himself ignoring the tent that was starting to pitch in his jeans. It was just a stupid kiss yet his mind kept wandering back to the butterflies he'd been feeling.

The next night you were sitting together after studying all day, it felt as though you were in class rather than studying. Chan had different tests laid out for you, flashcards and study folders all laid out for you to work from.

"I could rip my eyeballs out, how do you get all of this done." You yawned at him, it seemed as though he just glanced at a page and the information would instantly be implanted into his brain.

"You're like one of those Aliens, aren't you? You absorb information with one glance!" The fake gasp that came from you made Chan laugh which sent butterflies to your stomach, you'd not heard him laugh like that before. The smile on his face was enough to make your whole body feel like you were floating, he looked so cute when he smiled like that. A small dimple on his cheek and the way his eyes scrunched together,

"You have a really pretty smile," You whispered before you even realised you were talking aloud, a giant blush spread along Chan's freckled cheeks and his ears turned a brighter red than before.

"I'm sorry cutie, I didn't mean to embarrass you." You squeezed his cheeks playfully but his hand gripped onto your wrist to stop you from babying him like you were,

"Don't treat me like I'm a baby, I'm not." He growled at you, you were taken back a little not expecting this side to come from him it and interested you a lot.

"I-I'm sorry, I was just playing...You are cute though Chan." Your comment was only met by another growl and he moved away from you muttering something under his breath that you didn't hear.

"Chan?" You went to reach for him to apologise but he grabbed your wrists again, pinning you to the sofa below him. You squirmed under his grasp looking up into his dark eyes as he stared down at you,

"I'm not some cute little nerd," You let out a small whimper as you looked up at him. A pool went down to your core at the way he looked at you, his eyes had darkened over and it wasn't the nerdy Chan you knew. You squirmed once again under his grasp.

"Squirming so much and I haven't even touched you," He smirked and you could have sworn the nerdy Chan you knew was gone and replaced with whoever this was now.

"You're so pretty when you're scared...Maybe I should fuck you dumb huh? Then maybe we can fill the brain with the study material...Stop you watching your phone every four seconds." He'd caught you reading through something on your phone that wasn't the work he was setting you and he didn't care what it was he just didn't want you to waste his or your time. This side of him made you excited but you also wanted to tease him for it see what else he was hiding under the nerdy persona he was exhibiting,

"I bet you'd cum as soon as you put it in me," You challenged, looking him in the eyes as you bucked you hips up to meet his. He licked his lips watching you as he nodded along with what you were saying, not agreeing with you but accepting the unspoken challenge.

"Is that a bet?" You nodded your head at him and he smirked, throwing his glasses down onto the coffee table where your books were left unattended now.

"If I win, you study all weekend and you owe me a favour." He told you as he let go of your wrists completely watching to see what you do.

"And if I win, which I will...What do I get?" He shrugged his shoulders,

"Whatever you want, but trust me, kitten-" He bent down to whisper in your ear this time,

"You're not going to win." His voice sent shivers down your spine and you bit down on your tongue as you watched him closely, wanting nothing more than to make out with him on the spot.

"What makes you so sure? You're just a nerd-" You stopped talking as soon as he pulled the hoodie off from his body revealing a pack of abs you never would have guessed were under there.

"Concentrate darling, anyone would think you have a thing for the nerd." He growled grabbing you by your neck and standing you up as he carefully walked you towards the bedroom. He hadn't even touched you and you could feel how wet you were, practically leaking through your panties.

"Strip," He ordered as he slammed his bedroom door shut, sitting on the edge of his bed as he watched you closely. You smirked at him, slowly undoing the zip of your black jacket before revealing a black lowcut top you'd worn a couple of times before. He kept his eyes on you, giving no inclination as to what he was feeling or thinking as you stripped.

"Slowly," He whispered getting down onto the floor in front of you as you got to nothing but your panties. You hissed as he slapped your thighs and you slowly began to lower your panties.

"So fucking wet for the nerd." He chuckled as he watched the way your arousal stuck to your panties before he threw you down onto the bed. Kissing you roughly as he let his tongue explore your mouth you wrapped your arms around his neck as you relaxed into the kiss. Feeling sparks fly out of your body the moment he kissed you. The kiss intensified and he smirked, dragging you to the edge so you were displayed out for him, he ran his hand over your thighs.

"Spread them," You did as he said and looked at him as he watched you closely.

"Do you want me to touch you?" You nodded desperately, hopeless for some kind of touch from him.

"Where do you want me to touch you? Use your words," You wanted to scream at him just to touch you but you didn't, you stayed quiet as you looked at him.

"H-Here," You whispered running your own finger over your clit but he slapped it away before slowly rubbing his thumb over your clit. You bit your lip, holding back the moans that were trying to escape from you,

"Don't hide the moans, let everyone know who's making you feel good." He ordered you as he thumb continued to rub your clit in circles vigorously. You moaned out, rolling your head back against the mattress as you enjoyed his touches. Pathetic and high pitched whimpers leaving your lips whenever he would change the direction of his rubbing,

"Feel good baby? Is the nerd making you feel good?" He questioned in a condescending tone that only made you more attracted to him. When you didn't answer him he wrapped his other hand around your neck, applying a small amount of pressure making you choke out a moan.

"Answer me."

"Yes! F-Feels so fucking good!" You cried out only to be met with a slap against your clit making you cry out again, he let go of your neck and pushed two fingers into you.

"So tight princess, have you not fucked someone in a while?" He questioned as he began to rock his fingers in and out of you, using his other thumb on your clit again.

"N-No...N-Not s-since last year." You whimpered not knowing why you were telling him you hadn't been laid in a while.

"Maybe that's why you're always so pent up...Just need a good fucking," You nodded at him as you desperately began to plea for him to let you cum. He only rubbed your clit faster and smirked up at you,

"Can I cum? Please?" He chuckled darkly as you begged for him to let you cum, you were dripping down onto the sheets each time he pulled his fingers out of your cunt.

"Want you to ride my thigh first." You were shocked at his words but without hesitation, you pushed him to sit down on the bed and you straddled his thigh. Moaning out as the thick fabric came into contact with your bare core.

"F-Fuck." You whimpered as you began to slowly move your hips on his thigh. Rocking back and forth as he put a finger on your clit making you cry out.

The friction was getting too much for you and you were crying out his name. Your head laid on his shoulder as you rode his thigh.

"You can cum now, like a good girl." He whispered, and just like that you did.

"Chan!" Your hands dug into his arm as you continued to ride his thigh. Cumming onto the fabric of his jeans before he pushed you down onto the bed again, your legs were shaking as you begged for him to fuck you instead of teasing you.

"I-I get it, I shouldn't have said what I said...Y-You win." You whispered as he began to unbuckle the belt on his jeans.

"You're still so wet princess, and look at the mess you made." You glanced at his trousers and felt the heat rush up your body in embarrassment.

"I want you to make a mess like that on my cock, can you do that baby girl?" You nodded at him,

"Y-Yes Chan," He smirked at how easily you'd turned into a begging and whimpering mess for him.

"Stand up," You did as he said and he walked over to you, chuckling as you struggled to keep your balance. As he kicked off his boxers you sank down on your knees to get a good look at him. He was huge, larger than you had been expecting and it made your mouth water. You wanted to taste him, you needed his cum but before you could even put your lips on him he shook his head at you. At first, he was going to let you but after seeing how excited you had been to do it he stopped himself wanting to prove you wrong.

"Lay down and spread your legs." You did as he sat and he smirked watching you.

"Good girl, so wet for me as well." He chuckled as he began aligning himself at your entrance before sinking into you. You moaned out as he stretched you out, your walls clenching around him as he grunted.

"So fucking tight," You mewled out in response to him and he chuckled moaning when he began to push in and out of you. His hands gripped onto your hips as he began to thrust in and out of you, moaning our your name.

"Feels so good," You moaned out as you felt his cock moving in and out of you. Your walls gripping around him as if he belonged inside of you.

"Shit Chan," You whimpered as he continued to move inside of you, his hips slamming into you as you felt your next orgasm approaching, you squirmed underneath him. Digging your feet into his ass to make him hit deeper,

"So good!" You screamed out, dragging your nails down his back as he continued to push into you, the feeling making your head spin as it felt as though you were floating. The wet sounds filled the air with the sound of slapping skin and moans, both yours and Chan's as he continued fucking into you.

"I can feel you getting closer, do you want to cum?" He questioned, reaching down as he began rubbing your clit. You cried out at the touch and he chuckled darkly, slapping into you harder you rolled your head back in ecstasy.

"Cum." He commanded you and you did. Screaming out his name as you rolled your head back, gripping onto the sheets around you as you came harder than you ever had done before. You whimpered feeling your orgasm keep ripping through you as you clenched and twitched around him, an unfamiliar wetness came from you as you squirted around him moaning out loudly as it did.

"S-Shit! W-What-" You didn't have time to question what it was as Chan began to pump into you. Grunting loudly as he came into you hard, filling you up so much you came around him again at the feeling.

"F-Fuck." You cried out as you came down from your high, panting heavily as he pulled out of you and laid down beside you on the bed.

"Whoa." You whispered as you turned on your side to look at him, the blushing shy Chan was back and you giggled softly.

"Where did he come from?" You questioned, running your finger up and down his chest and abs as you waited for him to answer,

"Where did who come from?" He frowned looking at you as he wrapped a blanket over your body, not wanting you to get sick or catch a cold.

"Christopher." You winked at him and he chuckled shyly, shaking his head at you.

"I hope it wasn't the last time he comes out to play...I-I enjoyed that." The same smirk was back on his lips once he heard your words,

"Well if you study and pass your test maybe he'll come out to play again." He winked at you as you leant forward to give him a small kiss on the lips.

The bell rang waking you up from your daydream, you practically jumped out of your seat to get out of the classroom but Felix was faster. He raced up behind you and grabbed your elbow so you would turn to face him,

"Come home with the big boys," He whispered to you, trying to be as seductive as possible but all he was doing was coming across as a cock.

"No thanks, my boyfriend is waiting for me." You turned around to see Chan standing against the wall, he was wearing an oversized blue sweater you'd gotten him and the new pair of thick square glasses.

"Hi!" You yelled out, snatching your arm away from Felix as you walked over to Chan,

"Why was Felix holding onto you?" He questioned, wrapping his arms around you protectively as he eyed up Felix,

"He was just being an idiot. Telling me how he could fuck me how a real man should," Chan scoffed at the comment and looked at Felix.

"Trust me, the way she screams my name at night I'm surprised you haven't heard." He smirked at Felix turning you around and walking away from the boys who were all watching after you as you giggled to Chan about what you both had planned for that night.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @channiewoo @minholuvs @lkwonmj

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snelbz · 3 years ago

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Life As We Know It {Chapter Seven}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was out with Elain, Mor, Emerie, Amren, and Gwen for the night.

She had no idea when she’d be home.

This meant one thing and one thing only.

It was Cassian’s first night alone with Nyx.

It was no different than being home alone with Nyx during the day, which Cassian had been a handful of times thus far. However, Nyx didn’t seem to need as much during the day.

Eat, sleep, play, repeat.

At night, he needed a dinner, a bath, his bottle, to be rocked, to be put down for the night…which was something he never liked doing. A daytime nap? He didn’t mind. Sleeping for nine hours? Apparently that thought just pissed him off.

Nesta was a pro at getting him to sleep for the night. Cassian had offered once to do it and failed miserably.

“Not tonight, little man,” Cassian said to Nyx as they sat at the dinner table together. “Tonight, you’re going to bed the first time for Uncle Cassian.”

Nyx looked at Cassian and giggled.

Cassian scoffed. “Don’t mock me.”

Dinner with Cassian meant Nyx got the good shit. No puréed green beans or mashed carrots tonight. After he’d polished off a small jar of the cinnamon apples, Nyx had eaten nearly half a tube of puréed sweet potato, and Cassian was eating his own food. He took a bite of supreme pizza and pointed at him, before holding up a single finger. “After this, we’re gonna take a bath, and you aren’t going to throw water everywhere or poop in the tub, got it?”

Nyx just banged his little hand on the tray of his high chair, causing more sweet potato to fly onto himself, grinning up at Cassian.

“Then one last bottle before bed, while I read you a story,” he said, holding up a second finger. “I’m sure there will be a diaper change in there somewhere, so please go easy on me, yeah?”

Nyx played in the mess of mixed food in front of him.

“And then you go to bed, so I can watch a movie and pass out myself, and boom. Nesta can’t say anything about my parenting anymore cause I managed to keep you alive for a whole night.”

Nyx blew a raspberry at him before he started babbling.

Cassian took that as agreement.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s dark hair as he shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth with his other hand.

He got up to clear his plate, and by the time he went back to Nyx’s high chair, he had managed to make orange streaks in his black hair.

Courtesy of the sweet potatoes.

With a sigh, Cassian took the tray off the high chair and unbuckled Nyx, picking him up and carrying him toward the bath.

“You first, tray second,” Cassian said.

Nyx started patting his little potato covered hands on Cassian’s cheeks, giggling at the sound it made.

Cassian cringed at the way it felt. “Thanks for that.”

He filled the bathtub up, ensuring it wasn’t too hot, like Nesta had shown him, and got Nyx out of his messy clothes and into the tub. After he’d wiped his own face clean of sweet potato, he went to work on Nyx, who had somehow managed to get it on the back of his knees.

Twenty minutes and a full change of wet, soggy clothes later for Cassian, he was sitting in Nyx’s nursery, in the rocking chair in the corner, a book open in his lap.

“This would be a book your parents bought you,” he muttered, opening the front cover. After clearing his throat, he began, “The night sky of Velaris greeted all the townspeople, letting them know it was time to go to bed.” Nyx patted the page and babbled something incoherent. Cassian nodded. “Yeah, it’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” He went on reading the story, written by a local author, no doubt, and Cassian found himself snorting at some of the sentences, but Nyx was fully engaged.

By the time he had finished the book, Nyx was leaning back against him, fully relaxed in his pajamas.

Even Cassian let out a yawn.

“You know, the Velaris starlight was important to your parents,” Cassian said, rocking Nyx back and forth. “They fell in love on Starfall. At least, that’s what Rhys always said. He was in love with your mama long before that, but she started falling for him on Starfall.” Nyx’s dark lashes began to fall, his eyelids drooping. “That’s why they named you Nyx. In Greek, Nyx means night.”

Nyx’s hand gripped Cassian’s thumb. He looked down at the sight and chuckled, quietly.

The baby looked up at him then, with those big, blue eyes, eyes that were so blue, they looked violet in the dark. That dark hair that was starting to need a trim, falling into his eyes. Cassian blinked quickly, trying to keep the sudden tears from spilling over. “You look so much like your dad,” he whispered.

Nyx just continued to watch him, pacifier in his mouth, those eyes getting sleepier with every rock of the chair.

Swallowing harshly, Cass set the book down and resituated Nyx so he was laying against his chest. He gently rubbed his back, the way he saw Nesta do when he would get fussy.

“I miss your dad,” he said, softly. “I know you do, too, you’ve known him your whole life, but—. But so have I. And after twenty-eight years he’s just…gone.”

That dark head snuggled in closer against him, one of his little hands clutching Cassian’s t-shirt.

Cassian said nothing else. If he had, he wouldn’t have gotten them out clearly.

He rocked. He rocked and he rocked and he rocked until Nyx was snoring, softly. As carefully as he could, Cassian rose and laid Nyx down in his crib.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn’t wake up, Cassian tiptoed out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom.

He had just laid down and unlocked his phone when he heard crying.

Tossing his phone back on his pillow, Cassian was instantly up, hurrying back across the hall. Nyx’s feet were kicking, his arms waving wildly, perfectly unhappy.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked, picking the baby up out of the crib and cradling him against his chest. “Huh? You were sleeping so nicely.”

He continued to cry, and no amount of bouncing or patting his back was seeming to work.

“Come on, dude,” he muttered, sitting back down in the rocker. He resumed the slow back and forth motion, praying it would soothe Nyx back into peaceful sleep. “We did the bath. We did the bottle. We did the book. This is when you go to sleep.”

He kept crying and Cassian just shushed him quietly, his hand resuming the gentle rubbing he had done before. It helped, but Nyx still sniffled. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something to fuck up and I wouldn’t just be doing it to you, it’d be to Rhys, too.”

Nyx’s wailing returned, and Cassian tried to close his eyes and take deep breaths. It wasn’t working. With everything he tried, Nyx only cried more and more and more.

“Come on, buddy,” he begged. “It’s time for bed, alright? It’s time to calm down.” Nyx let out a cry so loud that Cassian nearly jumped, which only scared Nyx, making him cry louder.

Cassian tried changing his diaper, tried getting him to take his pacifier, but nothing helped. He continued to rock, continued to pat, continued to walk Nyx around his room, but nothing worked.

Nothing.

Defeated, Cassian laid Nyx back down in his crib. “Come on, bud. Come on.”

Nyx kept crying, and Cassian rubbed his temples, trying not to join his nephew in his agony.

“Shhhhhh,” Cassian began, leaning over the crib, patting Nyx’s stomach. “It’s time for bed, Nyx. It’s time for bed. If your parents were here right now, I’m sure you’d already be asleep. Shit, if Nesta were here, you’d already be asleep.” He shook his head. “It’s me, isn’t it?”

The baby replied by continuing to cry.

He swore quietly, and hurried across the hall grabbing his phone, dialing a number he’d unknowingly memorized. She answered on the second ring.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear music and laughter in the background of the call, but heard how panicked her voice was. She must have stepped away from her friends. It only made him feel that much worse.

“I can’t get him to stop crying and go to sleep,” he admitted. “I don’t know what else to try.”

“You gave him his bottle?” She asked, and he nodded. Then audibly answered her. After that, she ticked off the checklist of things she usually went through. Every single one he’d already tried.

“It’s like it’s just me,” he said, trying to calm him down while he held the phone to his ear. He scooped him up into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair. “He hates me and won’t go to sleep.”

She was quiet for a minute. “You know that’s not true, Cassian. He loves you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, quietly, low enough that he wasn’t sure if the receiver could pick it up over Nyx’s wailing.

But it didn’t matter, because he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

When Nesta rounded the corner, she wasn’t expecting to find Cassian looking defeated in the rocking chair. She pretended not to see the tears on his handsome face as she dropped her purse by the door of the nursery and took Nyx. She began to soothe him and tried to give him back his pacifier, but he wouldn’t take it.

“He’s cutting a new tooth,” Nesta said, carefully looking into his mouth, wide open thanks to a drawn out sob. “That’s all. He’s just uncomfortable, isn’t he?”

By the end of the sentence she was looking at Nyx, an over-exaggerated frown on her face.

She handed him back to Cassian and was downstairs and back with cooling, teething toy she’d pulled out of the freezer. He began to chew and gnaw on it the moment she handed it to him.

The crying quieted.

“There,” she said, smoothing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Better, yeah?”

Taking him from Cassian who hadn’t said a word since she walked in, she put him back into his crib and gently rubbed his belly. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

He murmured, “Thanks. You…didn’t have to end your night early for me.” He gestured toward the front door. “You can head back out. I can— I can handle it now.”

She shook her head. “I was on the way home. Turns out I wasn’t really in the going out mood.”

Cassian nodded, and said no more. He simply watched Nyx, his chest rising and falling. Nesta gave him a curt nod and walked out, back into the hall.

Cassian followed, shutting the nursery door quietly behind him.

“You did that so effortlessly.”

Nesta stopped and turned to face him near her bedroom, a brow raised. “Effortlessly?”

“I’ve been struggling for hours and you came in, and less than five minutes… He was out.” Cassian shook his head. “I’ve known him since the day he was born and I had no idea what he wanted.”

“He’s a baby, Cassian. He doesn’t even know what he wanted.”

“You knew,” he said, exasperated, exhausted.

She blinked, not expecting the tone of his voice to have sounded so…empty.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nesta said, looking at him, willing him to meet her eyes. He didn’t look up.

“It’s not okay,” he said, and suddenly his words were sharp. “Rhys trusted me to take care of him but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “They trusted us, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We just have to take it day by day and-.”

“It’s not okay!” His words weren’t loud but they were panicked. “I have to provide for him and I can’t fucking do it if I don’t know what he needs.”

“Cassian-.”

“Why would they choose me?” He asked, his voice quiet. Tears filled his eyes. He hated himself for it. “I never even wanted kids! I have no idea what to do with a kid, Nesta. I don’t know what parents are supposed to do, what dads are supposed to do, I didn’t even fucking have one.”

Nesta remained quiet, afraid to speak, afraid to move. She had never seen Cassian like this.

She didn’t think anyone had ever seen Cassian like this.

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this,” he repeated. “I can’t— I can’t do this.”

She knew her words would mean nothing, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this, that they would figure it out together. It wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t ease his mind or his heart. That heart that was still broken from the loss of his best friend, his brother. So she did something she never thought she’d do.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him.

Cassian didn’t move for a moment, he just let her slim arms wrap around his waist, not realizing that he was on the brink of losing it. He was fairly sure that right now, she was the only thing holding him together, both mentally and physically. But after a long minute, his own arms wrapped around her shoulder and he buried his face into the top of her hair. He didn’t care that his tears were soaking her hair, didn’t care that this was the woman he’d spent the past five years hating and avoiding like she was the damn plague.

He didn’t care that he was falling to pieces.

Standing in that hallway, with Nyx sleeping behind the closed bedroom door, Cassian wept, and he didn’t care who saw it.

#life as we know it #snacmc lawki #lawki #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

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spideyspeaches · 4 years ago

Text

Pretty lies (ugly truths)

A/N: This was something I wrote as soon as I heard Clean also that was 2019 and @peterspideysstuff made me do it smh. I’m proud of it so don’t let this flop 🙂

WC: 3.3k+

Warnings: Please read these before going ahead- mentions of CSA (Skip Wescott), brief description of dissociation.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

It was the little things that you noticed in Peter. He was your closest friend ever, the best person to have ever entered your life next to Tony Stark, the man who had adopted you the moment he laid his eyes on you.

You always noticed when it came to Peter, the way he jumped around when he was in a happy mood, or when he scored a hundred in chemistry and he would flail his hands in the air and hug you as tightly as he could without crushing your bones with his super strength. You had met him when you were both eight- he had come with his uncle Ben to tour Stark Industries, and you both had snuck out to eat some pizza while the adults talked.

You would never forget that day, because it was the day the two of you became inseparable. He would often visit you since then, in Pepper’s penthouse, and you always cherished those visits. He shared everything in his life with you, he was an open book to you, a dog eared page that you could open with a flick of your fingers.

Coming back from the dead post blip was the final straw. No one could separate you two, and when May and Peter had finally agreed to live in the Lake House (only during the weekends though, since it was far from his school), it was the life of a party for You.

"And you three, don't wreck the house and if I found out that the kitchen is on fire-" Pepper said, fixing Peter's shirt and Morgan's hair at the same time, giving you a stern look.

May was out and it was only the three of you- You, Morgan and Peter, while Tony and Pepper went out for a vacation for the weekend.

They had trusted you to babysit Morgan, well You more than Peter.

“We will be fine Pep! Don’t worry I won’t let them burn down the kitchen, or let Gerald eat the goji berries. Now shoo!” You snickered, pushing Pepper with your hands on her shoulder, before she gave you one more look over her shoulder.

“Oh and if you need anything, Kyle will be here soon, you can ask him anything okay?” She said, making you stop in your tracks.

“Kyle? Who’s that?” Peter asked, shuffling to adjust Morgan, who was perched on his shoulder with her head buried in his neck, her soft snores barely audible.

“He’s Morgan’s babysitter, we can trust him honey, he’s been babysitting her since she was one.” Pepper said calmly, her eyes stiff as she wearily looked at Peter, her eyes flitting to You for a moment. They had all been weary of introducing you to change when you first came back, afraid what the change around you would cause you to break further. It ultimately lead to a heart to heart with Doctor Tumnus and You and Peter, one breakdown from each of you, and lots of cuddles.

“I thought he was in college?” You smiled, lifting your brows.

“You know about him?” He asked, his voice small. You didn’t answer him, choosing to nod your head instead.

Looking at Peter, you felt him stiffen, his shoulders tensing like the way they would whenever he was stressed or overthinking, his grip on Morgan tightening as if to protect her from whatever danger was about to come their way. Your heart sped at his look of frustration, his lip forming a thin line as he pursed them, your own confusion growing.

“Wh-why do we need him? I mean, Y/n/n and I can look after each other right?” He gulped, not meeting Pepper’s or your eyes. Morgan took that moment to wake up sniffing under her breath as she lifted her small head from his shoulder.

“Mommy is Kyle coming over?” She asked innocently, not noticing Peter as he gulped. You gripped his biceps, silently asking why he was acting the way he was.

Peter had always been shy when it came to strangers, choosing to stay in the circle of his own people. Heck he had taken almost months to warm up to you.

“Yes honey, he will be here soon, now, be nice for Peter and Y/N okay?” She cooed, kissing Morgan’s forehead and smiling at the little girl, grimacing as your dad honked from behind, shouting to make it fast.

“Okay mommy, have fun!” Morgan smiled sleepily, going back to her position on Peter’s neck, lifting her thumb to suck on. Holding her small hand, Peter softly brought it down to stop her from sucking on her finger. You smiled at how gentle he was with her, momentarily forgetting his ambiguous behavior at the mention of Morgan’s babysitter.

“So, wanna wreck the house?” You joked in an effort to dissipate the growing tension, watching the retreating figure of Pepper as she waved from the car. You waved back, smiling as you leant against the door jamb.

“Sure.” He said absentmindedly, holding his palm against Morgan’s head, tucking her in more firmly.

“Are you okay Pete?” You asked, scrunching your brows when he clenched his teeth, looking at you with seething eyes. You understood at that moment, why criminals feared him as your own heart clenched. He may be a doe eyed shy boy, but he could be angry when he wanted to.

“Can everyone stop fucking asking me that!?” He bellowed, looking at Morgan to make sure she hadn’t woken up. Walking to her bedroom, he tucked her in before keeping the door to her bedroom ajar, turning towards you,

“What’s crawled and died up your ass Parker?” You clenched, folding your hands as if in defence. You were getting worried, his behavior was not him. He was a naturally cheerful and chatty person, talking the ears off of the person who happened to be in his vicinity, now he was just, closed off.

“It’s nothing okay, it’s- it’s nothing. None of your business.” He said, walking away, leaving you with your jaw dropped and hands up in the air.

“Damn straight it’s my business! Why have you been acting weird ever since Pepper mentioned Morgan’s babysitter?” You snarled, shoulders sagging when you saw him tense up once more.

“Just, leave it alright?” He said, cursing your observation and not meeting your eyes before he turned the kitchen lights off, strutting to his bedroom. It was late at night and Pepper had wanted to have an early start, so they had decided to lodge at the tower before leaving for the trip.

“Alright, you don’t wanna talk am I right? See if I care next time!” You shouted pettily, huffing and moving to your bedroom, shuffling inside the covers, tears of frustration brimming your eyes as you tried to wash away the look Peter had given you from your brain.

***

Sleep didn’t come easy to Peter.

It wasn’t anything new for him, Ben had always said that his mind was like a whirlpool of thoughts- they churned at a very high speed and impared him from sleeping. But his insomnia had been causing problems as of late. Ever since he was little and his parents died, he had been prone to nightmares. Back then, Uncle Ben and Aunt May would do everything in their power to soothe him each time he had a bad dream.

Back then, when he was just a little boy, his uncle and aunt would snuggle up on either side of him and hold him until he fell asleep. Ben would sing with his gruff, slightly out of pitch but soothing voice, while aunt May would scratch the back of his ears, a sweet spot. It was the little gestures that reminded him of his childhood. The good parts of his childhood.

He tossed around in the bed, rolling his eyes to do a once over of his bedroom- the one that Pepper had designed when he had- when he had blipped along with You and three and a half million others. The word felt foreign on his tongue- why was such a catastrophic event named something as insignificant and fickle as “the blip”?

Scrunching his eyes shut, he groaned, tossing and turning around his bed. Heaving a frustrated sigh, he pulled at the bedsheets, kicking the covers off his feet as if he were five.

Peter was raised a city boy, living in the heart of New York, where nothing was really silent. Even before he gained his spidey powers, New York was never silent for him- the nightly noises of sirens and noisy neighbours was a constant in his life, so the sudden silence of living in the woods- where the only source of noise was Morgan and Tony in the morning and crickets chirping in the night was alarming.

Finally giving up, he decided to heave himself off the bed, shuffling his foot until he found the bunny slippers you had given him as a gag gift. Hovering his hands on the doorknob, he twisted it as slightly as he could, wincing when he heard the screeching noise of it twisting, as if it wanted to be as loud as it could just to piss him off.

Walking into the kitchen, he looked at the digital clock on his way, the red numbers glaring that it was well past three am into his retinas.

The room was dark, only illuminated by the small LED light in the garden. Picking up a glass, he looked over his shoulder to see if he had woken You or Morgan. Sighing when he heard your and Morgan’s minuscule snores (perks of having enhanced hearing), he opened the tap, filling the water in the glass before chugging it all up in one go.

“Fuck.” He muttered, slamming the glass down and wished the helpless feeling would go away. Ever since he heard the words come out of Pepper’s mouth, he couldn't think straight, all his thoughts strayed to him. He who had hurt Peter, he who was out of his life.

But who was he kidding? It was as if the universe was laughing at him by tossing another fuckery at his face, the ghost of his past lingering in his brain enough to cover the memories in a thin sheen of dust.

"Pete?" Your voice startled him, making him nearly drop the glass in his hand had it not been for his reflexes, "is that you?"

Your voice was heavy with sleep, fatigue evident as you appeared in his line of sight. Looking at him with squinting eyes as you flicked the light switch on.

"Yeah, just uh… thirsty. Wanted water."

“You have a water bottle on your bedside.”

He stayed silent, clenching his jaw as he looked at you. Biting his lips, he suppressed a chuckle as you failed to suppress a yawn, scrunching your eyes. You had a bad case of bed head, the strands of your hair all over your face. You were wearing your infamous strawberry pajamas, the shirt hanging off your shoulders. His eyes softened, you looked so young, all he wanted to do was smother you in a blanket and protect you from everything.

His gut twisted at the thought of protecting. He was supposed to be protecting Peter too.

“I can hear you thinking.” You said, your hands folded under your chest.

“So this Kyle guy, you know him?”

“Peter, you haven’t even met him, why do you hate him so much?” You sighed, rolling your eyes and wrapping your hands around his waist, laying your head against his shoulder blades.

“I- I don’t hate him! I just want to make sure-”

“Make sure what Peter?” You asked softly.

He gasped as memories flashed in front of him- that night when He had introduced himself to little Peter when He had come to babysit him.

Eight year old Peter had just wanted a friend. And Skip Wescott was a friend to him. He was cool and played games with Peter, showed him cool new science tricks and watched cartoons.

Aunt May and Uncle Ben were not home, they were late for work. Skip had been sending him small smiles the whole time.

“You want to see the big boy stuff now Einstein? I know you’re old enough.” Skip said, shifting uncomfortably close to Peter.

Peter’s smile fell off as he saw Skip’s eyes flash dangerously. And at that moment, he didn’t want Skip. He didn’t want to be friends with him any more and he wanted Aunt May.

“Nothing, go back to sleep.” He said, a lump forming in his throat, clutching the glass hard enough for cracks to appear on it. You left him be that night.

***

He didn’t notice when he fell asleep after that, the fear creeping up his spine in spite of knowing that Skip won’t be able to hurt him anymore- he was in jail, Ben had made sure of it. Yet he kept flashing back to his lowest points, when he had cried so loud, yet no one heard a thing.

In the end, he had won the case, yet the scars had remained fresh. His win felt futile, a defeat in spite of winning.

The smell of blueberry waffles invaded his senses first, his eyelids cracking open against the force of sleep. Scrunching his eyes, he let the world slowly come into motion, the walls coming into focus one by one.

He was startled into complete wakefulness by the sudden flurry of mass that had jumped on him, panic settling before noticing that it was just Morgan, her excited rambling bringing him back.

“H-hey Momo! You seem excited huh? Good morning to you too.” He laughed, inhaling as she jumped on his stomach.

“Petey you have to brush your teeth! Come down fast because I have a surprise for you.” She giggled, snuggling into his chest and getting up just as fast, pulling him with her tiny hand.

“I see you have a handy alarm clock.” You said from the doorway, smirking when you saw him

“A very cute alarm clock.” Peter cooed, pinching Morgan’s cheeks and leaving a big sloppy kiss on her cheek, making the little girl giggle, “Wait if you’re both here then who’s in the kitchen? Did May come back? Or is it Happy?”

“No May will be in Cali for a little longer, Happy visited her there so they’re having an impromptu vacation.” You smirked, knowing how much it irked Peter whenever you told him about May and Happy’s escapades. He rolled his eyes, scrunching his nose in disgust, just as you had expected him to.

“I didn’t need to know that, but whatever, who is it though?”

“Kyle’s here! He’s cooking waffles cause I told him Petey likes them very much! It was supposed to be a surprise but Y/n/n ruined it.” The little girl pouted, glaring at you with her adorable brown eyes. She looked exactly like Tony when she did that.

He felt a pang in his chest, an unearthed nervousness taking residence as he felt his stomach drop. He pulled Morgan closer, feeling your eyes on him as you tried to gauge his expression.

“Yeah.” You said simply, urging Morgan to come to you as he got up from the bed.

Walking downstairs after cleaning up, he stiffly sat on the table, watching as a short but lean Blond man cooked waffles.

“Hey kiddo! You must be Peter, Morgan and Y/N talk about you all the time!” The guy- Kyle probably, said chirpily. Peter clenched his fists under the table, noticing the look you were giving him.

“Hi.” He said shyly, ducking his head so he won’t have to see him.

“Well they told me you’re shy too.” He said, a smile evident in his voice.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Aw Pete don’t be rude! At least look at his face.” You joked, hitting him slightly in the ribs.

“Sorry I just, that smells delicious.” He smiled, finally looking up to blue eyes staring at him. He shifted nervously, sitting up straight.

“Thank you.”

He felt uneasy under his gaze, bringing the glass of water to his lips to avoid making eye contact.

“How long is he gonna stay here?” Peter whispered to you, avoiding to look inside the kitchen where he was cooking lunch with Morgan- the girl was perched on the countertop with her legs dangling and swinging.

You and Peter had retreated to the AV room after breakfast, opting to watch a movie instead of doing homework. Well it was You who had dragged Peter, because you knew he had already done it before coming.

“He’ll make dinner and go, again, why?” You asked him, fisting some popcorn and throwing them in your mouth.

“It’s nothing.”

You let it go again.

Dinner was an awkward affair. He couldn’t help but let his gaze linger onto him, how he interacted with Morgan. She seemed genuinely happy, jumping around the house till she was tired, enjoying as he lifted her up and played airplane with her.

He really didn’t want to think about it, but his spidey sense kept buzzing a headache in the bottom of his skull. He tried to distract himself, opening his chemistry text book to read ahead of class, but the worlds kept floating around as he saw you and Morgan laugh at something Kyle had said.

“Come on Einstein! It won’t hurt for you to keep that textbook and play with us eh?” Kyle said, winking at him as Morgan laughed, making grabby hands at him so he would come.

You want to see the big boy stuff now Einstein?

No, this wasn’t Skip. This was Kyle, Morgan’s babysitter.

He knew the comment was noncommittal, but he felt his heart race, the world zooming in and out of focus as it got harder to breathe, his book swimming in his hands. He felt floaty, the tingling in his hands intensifying as he felt someone’s hands on his back, dizzily startling him into reality.

“Hey, hey take a breath kid, it’s alright. Deep breaths.” A soothing voice said, cold sweat breaking as he dropped his textbooks. Tears ran down his face without meaning to as he pursed his lips. Instead of saying anything, he sat up and ran into his room.

He could hear you running after him, Kyle asking “Is he okay” as you reassured him. Tears were running freely now as he slammed the door, flopping on the bed and burying himself in the pillows, wishing that the bed would swallow him whole.

He didn’t know why he was reacting the way he did, Kyle was a good person, he saw the way he interacted with Morgan. He was gentle and loving, then why is it that he kept seeing him.

He heard the door creek, your footsteps echoing in his ears, drums rattling against his brain.

“Are you ready to talk now?” You asked softly, wafting your hands through his hair as he felt the bed dip with your weight.

“I had a babysitter, when I was eight. His name was Skip.” He croaked, breathing through his nose. He felt you stiffen as you seemed to connect the dots. Nudging him to move so you could insert yourself in the space.

“Did he hurt you Pete?” You whispered, rubbing his back.

“He did bad things to me, I just, I don’t want anyone to go through it again. Please. He may be in jail but- but sometimes I still feel like he’s here and I hate how I feel! I want him gone. I just want him gone and I want the memories to be erased.”

You remained silent, rubbing his back through his sweatshirt, unbidding tears appearing in your eyes. Someone had hurt Peter. You felt anger boiling inside you, swirling in a dangerous tornado at the thought of someone hurting the best person in your life,

You promised yourself that day that You would protect him at all costs. You couldn't do it in the past, but you would in the future.

“I’m glad you told me about this Pete.” You said, clenching your teeth as he met your eyes.

#peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x reader #peter x reader #peter parker x stark reader #stark!reader #spiderman x stark!reader #peter parker x avenger!reader #avenger!reader #peter parker x reader angst #peter parker x reader fluff #peter parker smut #spideygirl writes

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doublekrecs · 4 years ago

Text

More than Friends

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis: You and Spencer have gotten closer after that night of studying, pizza, and a little more. But could there be more growing between the two of you than just sex?

Warnings: smut, oral sex (female receiving), p in v action, risky pictures, fluffy ending!

a/n: Uh oh the feelings train has arrived at the station. Nothing sad I promise. I'm glad you guys liked the first installment and I’m excited to be writing my first mini series. As alway enjoy!

Part 1

It was almost spring break, you and Spencer had been going at it like bunny rabbits since January. Speaking of which, that's what you were doing at the moment. You had helped him gain a little more confidence in himself through the ‘lessons’ which were more you both just trying new things you haven't done before and ruining every piece of furniture in your dorms.

Ever since you taught Spencer how to properly eat you out he’s been feasting on you like his last meal. He’s taken his time to learn what you like and dislike, paying attention to what moves have you gasping and moaning little louder. You were currently spread out on the bathroom counter. Flowy sundress scrunched around your waist as he was on his knees drinking you up like water in the desert.

One of your hands was tugging at his hair causing him to moan in your heat, bringing you more pleasure. His right hand was pumping two fingers inside you, curling to reach the spot that made you whimper. The other hand was holding your thigh open to stop it from closing around his head. Even though he’d love nothing more than to die between your legs.

“Fuck Spence I’m so close baby,” you mewled grinding your hips on his face. His lips wrapped around your clit and fingers sped up their pace, making your orgasm wash over you. He slowed down slightly to help bring you down slowly. Feeling too sensitive you stopped his hand and pulled him up for a deep kiss. Moaning at the taste of him and yourself on his lips.

He pulled away and you chased his slips slightly placing another quick kiss.

“Well that was one hell of a greeting,” you giggled, stepping down to fix yourself up in the mirror.

His arms instantly wrapped around you, chin resting on your head. “Yeah well I like dessert before dinner sometimes,” he said smirking.

You pushed him off before reaching for your makeup bag to add some finishing touches. “Well if you plan on actually going to dinner then leave me alone so I can get ready,” you said playfully scolding and pointing a mascara wand at him.

He raised his arms in surrender and turned to wait on the couch. Picking up one of the many spare books he left at your place.

To say you guys had gotten close was an understatement. He had honestly turned into your best friend and you guys spent a lot more time together. There were many sleepless nights spent at each other's dorms and not just for sexy times. You stayed up learning everything about one another. Childhood memories to favorite films and biggest fears. He told you about his mom and his life growing up. Then you told him about yours, both shedding a few tears. That night as you fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms you knew it was different.

There wasn’t much said about your growing closeness but it was mutually accepted and welcomed. Petnames grew outside of the bedroom. It was normal for you guys to slip a “babe” or “sweetheart” somewhere in conversation. Same with holding hands, Spencer had mentioned he had a thing with germs but he made an exception for you and always found comfort in holding your hand when walking down the street or being cuddled up on the couch.

Even your professor had noticed. Besides noticing the improvement in your grade due to the study sessions you'd been having with his trusty TA, the older man would smile when he saw you guys interacting. Either when you'd first enter class with two coffees in your hand, one for Spencer which would usually have post-it on the lid with a physics fact he obviously already knew. Or when you guys would leave together, he would hold your books in one arm and hold your hand with the other.

The outing for tonight was to some new restaurant that opened up downtown. He opened the door for you and walked with his hand on your lower back as the hostess led you to a table. Completely ignoring you she kept her gaze on Spencer, practically the embodiment of the heart eyes emoji. He didn't seem to notice as he kept a polite smile until she walked off to bring you some waters.

"I wonder if she noticed you're not dining alone?" you said looking up from your menu.

"What do you mean?" he said looking confused.

You sighed, "Spence she was practically giving you the 'fuck me' eyes in front of me."

His eyes widened at the realization before clearing his throat and leaning in to whisper, "Obviously I didn't notice they don't work as good as yours."

He comically winked which caused you to giggle just as the hostess was returning with the waters. Spencer took your hand in his rubbing this thumb over your knuckles before saying, "I think we're ready to order. Right babe?"

That sly dog. You nodded and proceded to set your orders with a now pissed off worker, biting your cheek not to laugh at the bitter look on her face. Conversation flowed like normal after a different server brought out your meals.

"So are you going to see your mom for spring break?"

He perked up at the thought before diving into his last conversation with his mother. He had told her a little about your relationship and sent her a polaroid of you he took while you guys went bowling. He mentioned she was doing really well this month and it was a perfect time for him to visit.

"She says she'd want to meet you someday," he said with a little tint of pink on his cheeks.

"From what I’ve heard she sounds so lovely. You better tell her that I'm expecting a book full of embarrassing baby pictures."

You both laughed at the thought before Spencer asked what your plans for the break were.

"I'm uh not going anywhere. My family is a lot more focused on my older siblings since they're married and have kids to take back home and visit," you said playing with the rice on your plate.

"Well there's a few days before break starts so I say we make the most of them together before I leave," he said with a large smile.

You nodded and carried on with dinner. Afterwards you guys went on a walk through the park across campus before picking up some ice cream and making your way back to his place.

Watching a movie on the couch quickly turned into a heated makeout session. Spencer now let his hands wander freely. Slipping under your dress to rub small circles on your ribs then running down to squeeze your behind. His lips traveled to your neck as he sucked faint marks and bit the skin. You let out moans at the feeling of his lips and growing erection grinding against your warm center.

Your hand was at the nape of his neck playing with the hair that had gotten longer giving slight tugs. He pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before sitting up on his knees.

You got up on your elbows before asking, "What's that big brain of yours thinking of?"

"I want to try something new."

"Alright I'm all ears Spence."

He took a deep breath before spilling what he was thinking, "Would it be weird to um take pictures.."

You looked at him confused since you were sure the flip phone he carried around didn't have the best quality. He reached for his bag and pulled out his polaroid camera before he continued, "I'm uh gonna miss you when I leave, even though it's just for a week. And you always look really pretty when we do stuff."

"I'm sure I look like a dream, all sweaty and gross," you snorted. "But thank you Spencer," you smiled, "I'm ok with it as long as they're for your eyes only."

He crossed his heart and leaned back in to kiss you before pushing down the straps of your sundress. He moved away so you could push it down your legs, leaving you braless with just a pair of back undies with a lace trim. You would have worn a better set had you known about the impromptu photoshoot.

He took a few pictures of you with your hands on your breasts. He had you sit in his lap while he shot some with one of his hands right on your ribs. And some of you spread out on the couch giving the camera lust filled eyes. That was until you both got antsy and sped into his bedroom. The camera was placed on his bedside counter and instantly forgotten with the new mission of him grabbing a condom. You laid back on the soft pillows as you watched him pump himself to hardness and slip it on.

He crawled on the bed and made his place between your legs. You then reached over and grabbed the camera to snap a picture of your own, "Keep going."

He aligned himself with your center and pushed in a little. The stretch always making both of you gasp. Just then he heard a *click*. Out came a tiny photograph of the place where you were both connected. Setting the camera down in its place, Spencer took it as a signal to start moving.

He leaned down so he was resting on his elbows. The close contact had you looking deep into each other's eyes. Big brown eyes were dark, just a ring of the color you loved so much visible. Your arms were wrapped under his clawing at his back. He hissed at the feeling and started to thrust into you quicker.

Your head fell back in pleasure as your moans got louder. He was buried into the crook of your neck, you could hear and feel his heavy breathing on your shoulder. Your arms untangled from behind him as you placed your hands on his face to bring his lips to yours. It was deep and rough but there was a hint of something more there. Need? Passion?

You pulled away for air but stayed close enough that you shared the same breath. He didn't let up on his pace. You could feel every inch inside of you hitting spots you'd never felt before. He could feel your walls clenching around him signaling your incoming release.

"I'm not gonna last much longer Y/n. I need you to cum for me sweetheart." His hand went down to rub quick circles on your clit.

"Ah Spence I'm cumming," you gasped out connecting your lips together.

His thrusts started faltering and you felt him spill into the condom. You disconnected from the kiss as he fell on the bed next to you. He went to discard the condom and came back to wrap you in his arms.

Your head was resting on his chest as you traced little shapes with your fingers. You both shared the comfortable silence before he spoke up.

"Hey I was thinking, what if you came with me to Vegas," his hand was rubbing comforting circles on your back but you stopped with your shapes.

"I.. Spencer are you sure?", you asked sitting up to look at him.

"Yeah why not. I don't want to leave you here alone. But maybe I can introduce you to my mom," he cleared his throat, "as my girlfriend."

You sat there in a little shock and he started to ramble, "Or maybe not. It was a dumb idea. Just ignore what I said-"

You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a huge kiss. "I'd love to go! And I'd love nothing more than to be your girlfriend, genius."

You both laid back down but he quickly grabbed the camera and turned it around to face the two of you. You pressed your lips to his cheek and he put on a bright smile for the camera to capture. The little piece of film came out and you both looked like you were glowing, with more than just the fuzzy feeling after sex.

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wayward-mikaelson · 4 years ago

Text

You Found Me

Word Count: 3678

About: POST ENDGAME. Bucky lost a friend. You lost a sister. You both are alone and learn to live somewhat co-dependent on each other. Then you guys go on your first mission after Thanos.

Characters: Reader, Bucky Barnes, Pepper Potts (Stark), Natasha Romanov (Mentioned), Clint Barton (Mentioned), Agent Maria Hill

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Grief, Loss, Mentions of Death, Angst, Fluff, Sexual Tension, Implied Sex, Blood, Fighting, Injuries

A/N: This is a bit long, so bare with me cause it’s very detailed since I wanted to portray/convey the Bucky that barley speaks and sees more with his eyes. He does speak when he needs to. I am also proud of this one too. I hope you all enjoy and I would love some feedback.

*This works contains content meant for the 18 and up crowd.

**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me credit. I work really hard on all of my work.

***This work is also posted on Instagram (only an excerpt), WattPad, and Archive Of Our Own. Please go show some love over there too.

****Go follow my other accounts. Links are in the pinned posted on my profile

*****Currently NOT taking any Requests.

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Forever Marvel Tags: Please let me know if you’re a Marvel fan and want to be tagged in future Marvel fics comment below

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: Please let me know if you’re a Bucky/Sebastian Stan fan and want to be tagged in future Bucky/Sebastian fics comment below

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It had been four months since you lost your sister, Natasha, or as she was known to you, Natalia or Nat. The only person who kept you grounded and in check. You were still dealing with the emotions that came with it all, knowing full well she would probably kick your ass for wallowing in the grief. You knew why she did what she did. Fuck, you’d do the same exact thing to make sure Clint got home to his family. You couldn’t be pissed about it, but it didn’t hurt any less. You had a huge gaping hole in your chest and you weren’t sure how to fill it or if it would ever heal. That last part scared you the most. Would you feel this pain forever?

After the battle with Thanos and after Tony’s funeral, Pepper set the plan in motion to rebuild the compound. “It’s something Tony would have wanted,” she had told everyone. And everyone agreed. You included. That compound was your home and without it, you had no one and nowhere to go.

So you pulled together what money you had stashed away and went to the nearest motel. When you arrived at the motel, you noticed a familiar face standing at the counter trying to convince the clerk to take his money for the week. But the problem is, he didn’t have enough money.

Taking a deep breath you pull the wad of cash out of your pocket and walk next to him and set it on the counter. “Two queens and make it a month.” The clerk goes to take both your guys cash but you stop them. “Uh-uh,” you pull Bucky’s cash back and slide it over to him. Without a word, he takes it back. The clerk takes your money and hands you both a key.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Bucky said when you guys got outside and began look for your room. “I could have figured something out.”

You stopped walking and turned to him. “No, but where else would you have gone? Like me, you don’t have anywhere else do go.” The two of stared at each other. Both your Y/E/C and his blue eyes seemed to have a battle of their own. But being a Romanov, you knew you would win that battle.

Bucky nodded, “Okay.”

And just like that, the two of you fell into a routine and an unexpected friendship. You were there when Bucky would wake up from an intense nightmare. Whether it was Hydra related or him waking up yelling out Steve Roger’s name. You would slip into the bed right next to him and hold him and help him through it. All the while, thinking about how his best friend in the entire world would just end up leaving him. Steve was your friend too, but his leaving didn’t affect you as much as it did Bucky. Night’s like that would make you shed a tear for him. You and Bucky were very similar. You both lost someone close to you. You both didn’t have anywhere else to go. You pretty much had no one but each other now.

Four months later, you guys were sharing a bed but weren’t intimate. You guys had gotten used to use sleeping next to each other that it was nearly impossible to fall asleep by yourselves. Bucky would run to the store and get food once a week, while you did both your guys laundry at the laundry mat around the corner.

The two of you knew each other’s flow of daily life. Bucky would go walking early in the morning and come back with a hot coffee for you. The first time he did that, he came back with the coffee, a handful of three different kinds of sugar packets, and two pockets full of the mini creamers.

“I didn’t know how you took your coffee,” He had said as you stared at the contents on the table.

Whenever you were out you always came back with food for the two of you. It could have been a pizza or Chinese take out. Either way, Bucky enjoyed it with you. If any of you had knots in either of your hair, one of you would help the other to get it out.

No matter what it was, you and Bucky were there for each other. And honestly, you were falling for the super soldier assassin who was too sweet on you. You were deathly scared to admit it out loud, but the thoughts just linger in the back of your mind.

Bucky waltzed into the motel room to see you lost in thought. He had your coffee in hand and set it slowly on the table. Bucky wondered what you were always thinking about when he saw you sitting on the bed with your knees drawn up to your chest. Your chin resting on your right knee. But he didn’t ask, he knew by the almost empty look in your eyes that you didn’t want to talk about.

These last four months has been the most stable for him. It was nice having someone there for him all the time. Not to mention someone who was willing to hold him through the nightmares of Hydra. He even was there when you would wake up crying for your lost sister. He wished he could take away that pain for you.

Bucky walked towards the bed you occupied and sat down next to you. He pulled you into his arms and leaned his back against the headboard. You turned in his grasp and placed an arm across his chest and the two of you just laid there. Listening to each others deep breaths and heartbeats. You guys could lay there for hours without a care in the world.

Then a knock on the door made you jump causing Bucky to tighten his arms around you. The knock came again.

“Agent Y/N? Sargent Barnes?” It’s Peppers voice. “I know you’re in there. I saw Barnes walk in there about twenty minutes ago. It’s not hard to miss a metal armed man.”

You pushed away from Bucky and walked towards the door and open it. There stood Pepper looking as gorgeous as ever. There were bags under her eyes so time hasn’t been good to her but she still wore that smile. The smile that hid the pain and sadness in her life.

“I have been looking everywhere for you two,” she said walking into the motel room. She looked around. “The two of you just disappeared before I could talk to you after Tony’s funeral,” Peppers voice almost broke saying the word funeral. “I was going to offer you two to stay with Morgan and me and other agents who didn’t have anywhere to go. But it looks like you guys held up well.”

You shifted on your feet and looked at Bucky who was now sitting at the foot of the bed. He was looking down at the floor with his hands folded together. “We didn’t know we. Sorry.” You said softly looking back at Pepper.

Pepper smiled and took your hand in hers. “Like I said, it looks like you two held up really well. I’m here to tell you, the living quarters of the compound are finished and you guys can move back in whenever you want to. I’ll actually be there later today.”

Pepper turned to leave but you held tighter to her hand. “Pepper? How are you doing?”

“I’m hanging in there, you know for Morgans sake,” Pepper answered as her smile cracked some. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see you both later?”

“Yes,” You said and watched Pepper walk out of the motel room. You felt so bad for Pepper. She lost her husband and the father of her child. That pain had to be bigger than loosing a sibling. You turned to see Bucky hand you your coffee. With a smile you took it out of his metal hand. The very hand that gave you some very impure thoughts. “Thank you,” you pressed the cup to your lips.

“I guess we should check out of this dump?” Bucky asked.

Within in the next hour, the two of you were turning the keys in and walking out of the motel for the last time. Bucky held the cab door open for you and making sure whatever belongings you guys owned were secured. Bucky could tell in your eyes you were excited. He’d only ever been in the compound when they captured him all those years ago, but he was willing to make it home.

When the two of you arrived at the compound you couldn’t hold the smile in. It was beautiful and it looked better than before. There was still work to be done on it, but what you were able to see made you want to cry. Bucky saw the overwhelming expression on your face and wrapped am arm around your shoulder.

“You going to be okay?” He asked softly and you nodded.

You guys found Pepper who showed you around. From the kitchen to the living room to the bedrooms. Pepper showed you your room and then Bucky’s room. His room sat across the hall from yours. As Bucky was looking at his room, Pepper pulled you to yours.

“I made sure you guys were close,” Pepper said moving a stray hair from your face. Probably out of habit and a motherly thing for her to do. “I could tell that you guys have taken care of each other and I’m sure that you guys had some sort of routine down. I wanted to make sure that you guys were still able to have some of that.”

You smiled and hugged Pepper tightly. “Thank you.”

And just like that, over the next month, you and Bucky fell into a new routine. You woke up when Bucky woke up and took morning walks with him. There was a coffee kart that sat on the corner of the street across from the compound. The coffee was so much better than the motel coffee you guys had been drinking.

Bucky late at night, after all the lights were turned out and other agents were in bed, he would sneak into your room. He knew you’d be awake but he was still quiet as he slipped into the warm bed next to you. Bucky would hear a soft sigh as you would turn in his arms and rest your head on his chest before falling into a deep sleep.

One day while you were tidying up the kitchen, Bucky came in from the gym. He would spend a couple hours a day in there to clear his mind. He sat down at the table as you placed a plate of food in front of him.

“Thanks, Doll,” He said taking his hand and rubbing your back.

Turning around with a small smile on your face, since you loved it when he called you doll, there stood both Agent Maria Hill and Bruce Banner. Bruce just stared at you, and the memory of you telling him years ago, that no one was good enough for you and who would want to spend their life with a trained assassin. Bruce who was the only other person on this person beside you and Clint to bring out Nat’s softer side. Agent Hill, also stared but has a small teasing smiling playing on the corner of her lips. You turned back around and slowly walked out of the kitchen letting Bucky know you’d be back.

You sat on your bed when you heard the knock on the door. You looked up and saw Bruce walk in. “Don’t say anything,” You stood up and started to pull out a hoodie from your closet.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Bruce had a small smile on his face. “Except, since when do you own shirts that are too big for you?” He pointed to your bed. You turned to see Bucky’s shirt just laying there. You hadn’t realized that it was even there.

Over the last month Bucky sort of just moved into your room. His clothes had a drawer, he had a spot in your bathroom and two towels hung on your bathroom wall. Bucky even brought the pillows from his room to your bed.

“Okay,” You turn back to Bruce. “Bucky isn’t what it looks like. At least I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell. I like what he and I have. We just sort of found each other and have been there for each other when no one else was.”

Bruce’s face fell what looked like six stories. You could see the hurt. “Y/N/N,” He said softly. You forgot the sound of your nickname that Nat and Bruce use to call you. “I’m sorry I shut you out. I shouldn’t have.”

You shrugged on your hoodie, pushing down the memories of Nat. “Well, it happened. I don’t blame you. I would have done the same thing. I mean technically I did. It took four months for Pepper to find Bucky and me.”

Bruce nodded and scratched his head. “Well, you are pretty well versed in the art of falling off the radar.”

You cracked a smile. “Well, I didn’t intend to fall off the radar.”

“Like you didn’t intend to fall for Barnes?” Bruce must has seen the red creeping into your face. “I saw how you were smiling when he called doll. It’s the same face your sister had when she talked to me.”

You rolled your eyes and left the room.

Two week later, you and Bucky are crouched in a dark room. Guns pressed against your chests, being as quiet as you guys could be, as you guys waited for the all clear in the other room. This was your guys first mission since everything that happened almost six months ago.

Just a simple international rescue mission.

Or so you guys thought.

After the room had been quiet for ten minutes. Bucky cracked open the door and gave the thumb ups to you. The two of you creeped out of the room and started back towards where you started. You heard a sound to your right, and turned towards it.

“I’m going to check this out,” you tapped Bucky on the shoulder.

“What? No the fuck you’re not,” He said firmly.

“It’ll just be quick,” you called back to you as you walked down the darkened hallway.

“Be careful, Agent Romanov,” Agent Hill’s voice sounded in your ear piece. “Barnes, stay put unless you’re needed.”

You walked the darkened hallway and heard the sound again. It was louder. It was closer. Your heartbeat quickened as you walked further into the dark. You obviously had your light on your gun but it wasn’t bright enough. Something scarred passed your foot making your gasp out loud.

“You okay down there?” Bucky’s worried voice asked. You made the bad choice to ignore that question. “Y/N?! Don’t make me come down there.”

“Stay put, Sargent Barnes,” Hills voice is firm in your ear that you took the ear piece off. Another bad move.

You walked ten more steps before being thrown into a wall. The back of your head smacked the concrete hard. You fell on your back and groaned. You got back to your feet and drew your knife. With what light you got from your fallen gun you charged the figure that attacked. You shoved him into the wall and drove your blade into his shoulder. In return, he head butted you and shoved you down on the ground. You watched in the faint light he pulled the blade out of his shoulder and knelt down. He straddled your waist and pinned your arms to your side with his knees.

With sick pleasure very visible in his eyes, he drove the blade into your forearm. You cried out as the sharp pain shot through you. When he pulled the blade out, you felt the warm rush of blood seep through your tactical suit and onto the cool floor. You watched as he rose the blade up with two hands right above your chest. You had two thoughts in the matter of three seconds.

Second one, you should have answered Bucky when he asked if you were okay.

Second two, you knew you should have told Bucky your true feelings and now it was pretty much too late.

Second three, your arms were suddenly free.

You scrambled to your feet and held tightly to your wounded arm. You watched as Bucky threw your assailant at the wall and stalked towards him slowly. The man tried to stab at Bucky, but Bucky grabbed his hand with his flesh hand and twisted it to the point you heard the crunching of his bones. With his metal hand, he held the neck of the man until you could hear the faint crack of the neck.

Bucky dropped the dead man on the ground and turned to you. You stood there, not a hint of fear in your eyes. He noticed the blood trickling through your fingers and walked to you as he ripped a piece of cloth from somewhere unknown. He gently moved your hand away from your arm and tightly tied the cloth around your arm.

Without breaking eye contact, he used his flesh hand to brush loose strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear. He let his hand slowly brush down to the base of your neck, where it lingered for a minute before he took the dangling ear piece and gently put it back in your ear.

“Barnes! Status update. Now.” Hills voice was firm.

“Situation is taken care of. Y/N will need medical attention though.” Bucky’s voice was hallow. You couldn’t tell what was going through his brain. Even his eyes were almost impossible to read. “We’re headed back your way.” Bucky took your uninjured arm and pulled you the rest of the way back to the chopper.

After you had been through medical and treated you headed back to your room. Bucky was sitting your room waiting for you. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand folded. When he looked up, you can could see the anger and concern in his eyes.

“Okay,” you closed the door and crossed your arms as you turned back to him. “Say it. Get it over with.”

After minutes of silence and staring each other down. Bucky finally spoke. “What you did was completely fucking stupid, you know that?” Bucky’s tone was firm. “You could have died.”

“What did I do that was so fucking stupid?” you dropped your arms, crossed the room and stood three feet from him. The tone in your voice matched the firmness in Bucky’s. “Was it me ignoring you? How about ripping my ear piece out? Or maybe, almost getting stabbed in the heart?”

Bucky stood up. “All of it Y/N,” His voice rose and it continued to rise. “Do you have any idea how scared I was when you didn’t answer back? Do you know that my heart just about stopped when I heard you cry out and saw that dick over you with a blade about ready to plunge it into your chest?”

“It’s not your job to worry about me Bucky,” Your voice rose too. “My decisions on missions are mine and mine alone. So what if I died? It wouldn’t have mattered.”

Before you knew it, Bucky’s hands were pinning your arms to your side. “It would have mattered to me, Y/N. You’re so fucking smart, Doll, but god you are so blind to whats right in front of you.”

“Bucky,” you whispered.

Bucky dropped his hand and turned back to the bed and sat down. When he looked back up at you, he had just about every emotion glassed over his blue eyes. “I could have lost you, too. Does that mean anything to you?”

You didn’t know what to say to him, you read in between the lines. You know what he was saying. You took a deep breath and walked towards him. You placed a hand on the side of Bucky’s face. He closed his eyes and leaned into your hand. You dropped your hand to the collar of his shirt and decide to straddle his lap, resting both legs on either side of him on the bed.

Bucky’s eyes opened and he looked into yours, as he did, his hands instinctively moved to your hips and held you firmly in place. “Y/N?” Bucky’s voice caught in his throat.

You shushed him softly, and met his eyes. You took both of your hands and held his face. “You mean the world to me, James Barnes.” You said softly using his first name. Then you leaned in and pressed your lips to his.

Your guys lips moved together perfectly. You felt his tongue on your lips and your let him in. He explored every part of your mouth as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. You pulled back for some air and smiled at Bucky who was already smiling at you.

This was perfect, you thought. This was everything you actually had hoped it to be. In the next second, you found yourself on your back. Bucky hovered above you. He had your arm pinned above your head with his metal hand, you ignored the small ache in your bandaged arm. With his free hand, and without taking his eyes off yours, Bucky slowly trailed it from your face to your hips. leaving goosebumps on your both bare and clothed skin.

“You’re my world, Doll,” Bucky said leaning closer to you face. “You found me at my lowest. I wouldn’t know how to live if you died.”

Then he pressed his lips harder and rougher to yours.

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oboevallis · 4 years ago

Text

who is he pt 2

i have a lot of prompts and second parts i need to get out, so don’t think ive forgot about them. thanks for all the support and i hope everyone’s doing well and staying safe!!

“Mommy?” Scout asked as he hoisted himself up on the kitchen islands chair. “Can I play softball?”

“That’s gonna be a no.” Amelia answered as she was cutting up carrots to put into his lunch box.

“Come on why?”

“It’s dangerous, I don’t want you cracking your head open.”

“How about soccer?”

“Still dangerous but a bit better.” Amelia anxiously closed the tabs on the Tupperware. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“So that’s a never?”

“I promise we will talk about this, but we’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.” The neurosurgeon threw her sons lunch box into his book bag and zipped it up handing it to him, ushering him out the door.

______________________________________

“Oh hey, Meredith. I have a question for you how did you accept that Ellis wanted to play soccer? Scouts been asking to play a sport and soccer seems the most moderate.” Amelia addressed her sister as she walked into the lounge.

“Link’s here.” Meredith ripped off the bandaid. “He’s doing a surgery with Koracick, Koracick wanted the best.”

“He could’ve called anyone else.” Amelia sighed, stressfully running a hand through her hair. “How could Tom do this, he’s my best friend.”

“It’s really sad that man is your best friend.”

“Shut up Meredith.” Amelia went over to her cubby taking her scrubs off.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t stay here if he’s here.” Amelia sighed digging through her bag for her causal clothes. “Who the hell does Koracick think he is inviting him here? He could’ve called Torres she’s good.” She aggressively pulled her pants up when her breath hitched when the door opened revealing Link and Tom. She was frozen in place before she realized she had no shirt on, and quickly scrambled to throw it on.

“It’s nice to see you Dr Shepherd.” Link charmingly smiled.

“Likewise Dr Lincoln.” Amelia quickly said before exiting the attendings lounge.

“Amelia!” A voice called behind her.

“Can I help you?” She asked turning around, struggling to contain eye contact with the man.

“How are you?”

“Oh I’m dandy, how about yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m assuming the kid with you at the baseball game is your son, he’s a cute kid.”

“I’m aware.” The neurosurgeon said before quickly turning around to get away from the man.

“Can we get a cup of coffee?” He called as she continued to walk.

“No thanks!” She called back.

______________________________________

“Would you mind taking my kids back to your place? My sitter fell through and their in my office.” Meredith approached her sister who was leaning over the nurses station engrossed in a chart.

“Yeah sure, I was just about to get Scout from daycare.”

“Your a life safer.” Meredith patted her sisters shoulder before quickly leaving. She first stopped off at Merediths office to collect Bailey and Ellis, as Zola was already old enough to be at the house alone. The then trio walked down to daycare.

“I’ll be right back.” She told the children who refused to step into the daycare now that they were big kids.

“Link!” Bailey smiled when he spotted the man.

“Bailey.” Link hesitantly walked over, he didn’t know how Amelia or Meredith would react if they found out about this. “How are you doing?”

“Yeah I’m doing well, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, it’s been awhile.” The man played with the skin around his nail, a habit he picked up from his former girlfriend.

“The Mariners are doing great this season, you think they’re gonna make it to the World Series?”

“I hope so. They’re on a roll so far.”

“Have you seen the new marvel movie?” He missed the man who was like an uncle to him. They were very close, while his relationship with his aunt had lasted.

“I haven’t gotten to yet, the Mariner players are breaking bones left and right.” Link chuckled, these last couple of years he had committed everything to the team.

“Scout what happened to your eye?” Ellis asked, she had been pretty uninterested in the conversation so she didn’t mind breaking it up.

“At recess I was playing soccer and fell and the ball was right next to my head and someone kicked my head instead of the ball.”

“Well that’s definitely a penalty.” Ellis joked.

“We have to go guys.” Amelia tried to stay as civil as possible, but was pissed Link was talking to the kids. She knew Bailey missed him, but thought he had more sense than to start up a conversation with him. She ushered the kids along, before Link stopped her.

“Wait.”

“What?” She snapped turning around, she hadn’t meant to, she was upset about the school not telling her that Scout got hurt, that her son got hurt in the first place, and now that Link was here.

“Can we please talk?”

“I’d rather not.”

________________________________________

“Mom?”

“Yes sweetheart?” Amelia carefully placed an ice pack on his eye causing him to wince.

“Why was the baseball doctor at the hospital today?”

“Dr Tom needed his help.”

“How did Bailey and Ellis know him?”

“Well he used to work at the hospital, it’s kinda like how you know Dr Tom, Dr Winston, Dr Carina, it’s just like that.”

“He seemed pretty cool.” Amelia simply hummed in response, she prayed he wouldn’t make the connection that he was his father. “Was he your friend?”

“Yeah, kinda. Now we’ve gotta get you to bed.”

“Auntie Mer isn’t here yet, so are we sleeping here tonight?”

“Yeah, we’re here for the night.”

______________________________________

The neurosurgeon tiredly sighed as she collapsed into the couch. It was easier to put Meredith’s kids to bed now they were older, but her son hated sleeping in places that weren’t his own bed, and it was always a fight to put him to sleep. She assumed Zola was still up though, now that she was a teenager Meredith was lax on her sleep schedule. A knock at the door chasing her to groan. It was close to 11 at night, she assumed it was Maggie and she forgot her key and has three jugs of milk because she had a fight with Winston.

“What are you doing here?” She groaned as she opened the door revealing Link.

“I wanted to talk.”

“About?”

“About life, us.”

“There is no us.”

“Only because you made it that way.”

“Yeah, whatever Link.”

“Come on, I messed up. But you could’ve told me he was mine.”

“Who said he was yours?”

“Well you named him Scout, and Meredith told me.”

“Did she?” Amelia rolled her eyes, pissed at her sister. “Anyway it wouldn’t have mattered, you’d only be there for Scout and not me.”

“Amelia how could you be that selfish?”

“How was I being selfish?”

“You’ve been keeping him from me, and Meredith says he’s been asking.”

“I don’t know why Meredith is telling you anything.”

“Please Amelia, we both screwed up. But it wouldn’t have mattered if he was mine or not I would’ve loved him and you.”

“Sure didn’t seem like that.”

“I haven’t stopped loving you, I haven’t felt the things you made me feel with anyone else. Your the only person I’ve truly loved.”

“Seems really convenient to saying this now that you know he’s your kid.” Amelia walked back inside and shut the door. “Bye Link.” She let a couple of tears run down her cheek before she sucked them up, and walked upstairs to check on the kids. Zola was in her former room engrossed on her phone, Bailey in his attic room with Scout on the floor, and Ellis in Maggie’s former room.

“Amelia are you here?” She heard a voice from downstairs and saw Maggie.

“What are you doing here?” She whispered while cautiously walking down the stairs.

“Meredith got pulled into another surgery so I offered to come by, so you and Scout can sleep in your own beds.”

“Mer just didn’t want to see me because she knew I’d kill her.” Amelia crossed her arms, giving Maggie her mom look.

“She really does feel bad.”

“No she doesn’t. She always thought it was wrong I didn’t tell Link.”

“Yeah, she really thinks she’s right.”

“Of course she does she’s Mer, she does no wrong.” Maggie chuckled at the accuracy. “Do you think I’m wrong?”

“I don’t know. I know Scout wants to know his dad, and Link wants a chance to be a dad. But I also know all you want is for your kid to be loved and you’ve done a great job with him, and you just want to protect him.” Amelia embraced her sister in a hug, before reluctantly letting go.

“I don’t know what to do. Link came by today, and he called me selfish. Do you think I’m being selfish?”

“I think your trying to protect your kid.”

“I just want him to be loved.”

“I know, and he is. He has a village of people, no matter what you decide.”

________________________________________

Amelia heavily sighed, it’d been a week since Link had showed up on Merediths doorstep. It had been all she was able to think about. She patted her phone across her palm, debating whether or not she should call him.

“What’s for dinner?”

“I’m not sure, what do you want?” She patted the spot on the couch next to her.

“Pizza?” The small boy suggested.

“We had pizza the other night. What about chicken and rice?”

“Just don’t burn the chicken.” Scout smiled while he said it. Amelia playfully rolled her eyes as she stood up.

“Why don’t you help, to insure that doesn’t happen?” After the pair had dinner, she helped her son get ready for bed. Leaving her alone once he fell asleep, and contemplating whether or not she should call her former boyfriend. She impulsively clicked the call button, and immediately regretted it but it was too late.

“Amelia?”

“Hey, Link. I-I umm, Scout has been asking about his dad. And I know I’ve hurt you, but maybe we can arrange something?”

“Of course I’d really appreciate that.”

“Okay, umm how do you want to do this?”

“I think we should both be there first off, and what does he like to do?”

“He loves the outdoors, he really enjoys when we go hiking or to the zoo.”

“Okay, how about Mt Rainer?”

“Sounds like we would be stuck with each other on a mountain for a whole day. Why don’t we just go to the zoo?”

“Sounds good. Friday?”

“Friday.”

“I’m sorry I called you selfish. I didn’t mean it.”Amelia abruptly hung up her phone.

#amelia shepherd #amelink #atticus lincoln #greys anatomy #greysanatomy #maggie pierce #meredith grey #zola shepherd #scout lincoln #greys fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #bailey shepherd #ellis shepherd

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kaimelia · 4 years ago

Text

Heartbeats (Ch 2)

a/n: ahhhh thank you for all of the love on ch 1! I have a bunch of this already written so updates will be pretty consistent for the next few chapters!

here’s a link to ch 1: https://afsalta.tumblr.com/post/646116480826654720/heartbeats-ch1

--------------

"So, your tests showed that you have Stage 3 Metastatic Osteosarcoma, which has spread to your lungs. We're going to get you started on chemotherapy soon and make a surgical plan." He felt a squeeze on his hand yet continued to stare blankly ahead. If the oncologist was still talking, he couldn't hear anything.

"I thought osteosarcoma only occurred in young people," Amelia muttered, bringing Link out of his thoughts.

"It's definitely more common among young adults, but it still occurs among adults." Link stared at the nameplate on the desk in front of him, tracing the outline of each letter with his eyes. He could feel the oncologist's gaze on him. "We want to start chemo as soon as possible. I think that we start with four rounds of chemo and see what effect it has." He nodded slowly. "I know that this is scary, so I'll give you two some time. Come find me if you have any questions." She exited the room, leaving them alone. Amelia shifted uncomfortably, thinking about how this was their third time in this situation in the past week. Sitting in a doctor's office, faced with terrible news and neither one of them knowing what to say.

"Do you want to go home?" He shook his head.

"I can't go home. I can't look at Scout and smile like everything's okay."

"We have to tell him eventually," she whispered, watching as the orthopedic surgeon lifted himself out of the chair, taking an extra moment to gain his balance. He suddenly felt more uneasy than before, as if receiving a diagnosis had worsened his condition. She stood up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Where are you going?"

"To find Jo. I need to drink." She sighed as he walked away, her hand falling to her side, and she whimpered softly to herself. Link made his way down the hall, hoping that his coworkers couldn't see the limp in his leg that was paining him more than before. "Jo," he muttered, tugging at her arm once he approached her. She turned around at the sound of his voice and smiled widely.

"Hey, what's going on with your face?"

"I need to drink." Jo pulled out her phone, clicking on the screen and showing it to him.

"It's not even noon." He raised his eyebrows, hoping that his best friend would understand the expression on his face. "Okay. Give me five minutes." He grudgingly followed her into the attendings' lounge, silently leaning against the counter while waiting for her to change out of her scrubs. They walked to the bar in silence, Link ordering a beer as she fell into a booth. "What's going on?" He took a sip of the beer, leaning back against the cushion behind him.

"I have cancer." Jo's face fell across from him, and he avoided her gaze. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to get drunk and forget about the fact that I'm dying." She reached for his hand across the table, a motion of comfort.

"Alright."

--------------

Jo dropped him off a few hours later; her arm wrapped tightly around her friend's waist to steady him as they climbed the short walkway leading to the front door. Amelia opened it after Jo knocked. "He's drunk. Like, really drunk."

"I'm not that drunk," he interjected, his words slurring together. Jo could see the neurosurgeon's chin quiver slightly before she reached out for her husband's arm. "He told me. About the cancer. I'm really sorry, and if you guys need anything, I'm always here." Amelia nodded, thanking the woman for bringing Link home. He grinned at her widely after the door was closed.

"You look really pretty." She frowned at his words and dropped his wrist.

"Don't. Go to our bedroom and sleep. I have to go pick Scout up from school, and I don't want him seeing you like this." Link laughed at her, stumbling towards their bedroom and using the walls of the hallway for support. She bit her lip and turned around, quickly grabbing the car keys and slamming the door behind her. She connected her phone to the Bluetooth of the car, clicking the call button on Maggie's contact before starting the vehicle.

"Amelia?"

"Stage 3 metastatic osteosarcoma spread to his lungs. Feels like a fucking death sentence," she mumbled, backing out of the driveway. "And then Link goes out drinking and comes home slurring his speech, barely able to walk down the hallway. And now I have to pick my son up from school and pretend like nothing's wrong!" She could imagine Maggie's face on the other end of the phone; her lips pursed tightly and the corners of her eyes swollen with tears.

"Amelia, I'm so sorry-"

"I'm just so pissed off. Of course, this happens when our lives are finally settling down. I mean, we just got settled into the house, Scout's finally used to going to school, and now my husband's going to die!" Her voice grew increasingly loud as she spoke, stopping the car suddenly at a red light.

"Amelia, he's not going to-"

"Tell me something. Anything, please. I need to think about something else." The air was silent for a moment.

"Winston still wants to move to Boston. I told him I can't leave; you and Link need me, Mer needs me, but he's really insistent."

"Do you want to go?" Another moment of silence.

"I'm not sure. My family's here. I don't want to leave you all," Maggie spoke, her voice quieter than before. Amelia suddenly felt a bit of guilt, knowing that Maggie wouldn't leave with the knowledge of Link's cancer. "But, I also love Winston. He wants to be near his family."

"Sounds like you're going back to long-distance," Amelia mumbled, pulling into the school parking lot. "I gotta go. Come over for dinner sometime this week?"

"Of course." Amelia parked the car and disconnected her phone, bringing it up to her ear. "If you need anything, I'm here."

"Thank you." She shoved her phone into her pocket, joining the crowd of other parents waiting for their children. The school doors opened a minute later, and she immediately spotted her son running out with his bright blue backpack.

"Mamma!" he shouted, speeding forward into her arms. Amelia kneeled and embraced him tightly.

"Hi, buddy!" She smiled widely at him, glancing down at his hands. "What happened!" The boy grinned and held his hands out, his fingers covered in blue scribbles.

"I was showing Harrison the veins on his fingers, so we traced them with a marker!" Amelia cocked her head to the side and rustled her son's hair, waving to another parent walking by.

"Looks like someone's going to need some hand sanitizer." She took his hand, leading him to the car and helping him up into his car seat. He always complained about it, saying he was a big boy, and since Ellis didn't need her car seat anymore, he didn't need his. The mother chuckled at his claims, pretending to block her ears while moving into the driver's seat. He excitedly told her about his day and how his teacher let him lead the line because he finished his work first.

"Momma?" He eventually asked, kicking his legs out against the back of her seat.

"Mhm?"

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Amelia smiled at him in the rearview window.

"Tonight is supposed to be mac and cheese."

"Daddy was sad yesterday, and Daddy loves pizza." She choked back a sob at her son's awareness, suddenly conscious of what her son didn't know. "And we can watch Toy Story!"

"I think that would be wonderful."

--------------

Amelia masked her annoyance when her husband came out into the living room later that evening, complaining about his headache. He'd slumped down onto the couch and pulled Scout into his embrace, acting as if he wasn't dying and as if he hadn't spent the day getting drunk like a stupid teenager. They'd both smiled widely as Toy Story began to play on the television, happily eating pizza and amusing their son with high-pitched voices and tickles on his stomach. After the movie, Amelia looked over at her husband. He nodded slowly, as if unsure of what he was saying himself, yet somehow understanding what she was asking.

"Scout, there's something we need to talk to you about." He perked up quickly, nibbling on a pizza crust, his toy Buzz resting in his lap. Link sat up behind him and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know how Daddy and I have been going to a lot of appointments yesterday and today?"

"With Dr. Bailey!" Her eyes turned upwards in a smile.

"Some of them, yes." She took her son's hand in hers. "We have to go to the doctor's because Daddy is sick." Scout turned around to look up at his father.

"You're sick?" Link nodded at him, biting the inside of his cheek. "How?"

"Well, my body is sick. And I have to get medicine and maybe have surgery soon." Amelia frowned when his voice cracked.

"Like the flu?" She shook her head.

"No, Daddy has something called cancer. The doctors are going to do everything to make Daddy feel better. But, he's gonna be tired and feel sick a lot." Scout sniffled, a few tears escaping from his eyes. The neurosurgeon looked up to see the same look on Link's face, his own tears rolling down his cheeks. "And, if there's anything you want to know, you can ask us."

"Is Daddy going to die?" he cried, his tiny blue eyes pleading for an answer. Amelia took his hand.

"We don't know, Scout. We have to see if Daddy feels better when he gets the medicine." Scout fell against his father's chest, burying his face into the man's t-shirt. Link wrapped his arms around his son, leaning back into the couch.

"I'm right here, okay?" They remained in that position for some time until Scout had tired himself out from crying and fallen asleep in Link's arms. Amelia watched as her husband looked down at their son, his hand rubbing soothing patterns on the boy's forehead. He made eye contact with her. "I'm sorry. That I got drunk, I just needed to forget for a few hours."

"I'm not going to say it's okay, you know how I feel when you drink a lot, but I understand why." She sighed, pulling the knitted blanket off the back of the couch and tossing it over her husband and son. "You do realize that once you start chemo, you can't drink." He raised his eyebrows.

"I know." The air between them felt heavy. "He's already so sad. He doesn't even truly understand what's happening and he's terrified. He's only four," Link whispered, not looking away from their sleeping son.

"You're his dad. He practically worships you." They both breathed out soft laughs. "He wanted to get pizza for dinner because he noticed you looked sad." Link turned his head, making eye contact with her. "He's a lot more observant than we think. He just needs us to be with him." The father nodded in agreement. "Are we sleeping out here tonight?" she asked, adjusting a pillow behind her. Link laid down further into the couch.

"We should put him in his own bed," Link said softly, careful not to raise his voice too loudly. Amelia smirked, knowing that Scout wouldn't end up in his bed.

"I'll go get us some more blankets."

#amelia shepherd #amelink #atticus lincoln #amelia x link #amelink fanfic #amelink fanfiction #grey's anatomy #greys abc #greys fanfic #my fics

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katsukikitten · 5 years ago

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JUST IN TIME FOR SAME DAY TWO FICS I PROMISED. @pazumi-au

You waltz back into the living room as Kirishima yells into the head set. Little do you know why he has it on in the first place.

At first it was to get teammates together to win a better game but it quickly turned into the purpose of drowning out your moans.

He yells again, telling his teammate that he can take the flag there until you plop onto his lap. Straddling him as your hands go beneath his loose muscle tee. Hips grinding slightly to entice him as you would Bakugou. You feel him twitch beneath you while heating the all too familiar sound of a console powering down.

Hook, line, and sinker.

You gaze into his ruby gaze as your eyes scream lust, hands fondling muscles that move to readjust your body. You don't know how long he's dreamed of this exact situation.

Of you interrupting a game session or finishing a game session with him just to ride his cock all night.

But he was always too much a gentleman to ask if you were interested. Especially after he saw you smiling at your phone so often.

Funny how he hesitates even now and you present yourself to him. He searches your eyes for something more but all he sees is white hot lust.

You stare deeply into his eyes, noticing the slight differences in their eye colors. Glistening softness vs glowering burning intensity.

"Y...y/n?" He asks with a slight blush, although you're more than sure it's not from embarrassment as you feel him harden beneath you. Another twitch has you kissing him before you can change your mind. Tongue rolling over tongue as you grind a bit more on him.

His hands roll up your sides, peeling off your shirt to reveal a nice pair of tits. He salivates as you shove them in his face, reaching for your phone. You snap a picture of Kirishima's sharp teeth biting gently into your collar bone as he all but worships you.

You send the photo to Bakugou quickly tossing your phone to the side.

Another harder bite on your collar bone has you moaning.

"Bakugoooo." Instantly the man beneath you freezes as hot embarrassment flushes your body.

"Y/N?" Kirishima pushes you back slightly to see your face. Hard on dying from both the hurt in his chest and the the hurt in your face, "Is Bakugou the hero who's 'just a friend'?"

The question has you burst into tears, sobbing as you press your face into the cool skin of his neck. Breathing in his comforting scent of sandalwood cologne and soft natural musk.

His arms fly around you tightly. Gladly falling back into the best friend category especially so since this is the first time he's seen you cry.

And you've lived with him for three and a half years.

You both were broke as hell desperately needing a roommate in order to survive in this part of the city.

You a photographer and painter and he a start up hero.

You both made more than enough to have your own apartment within the first six months but somehow the two of you just kept renewing the lease. More than happy to "save" for a house.

So to hold the strongest woman he knew as she sobbed was an honor.

Even if it meant only being the shoulder to cry on.

"I..I'm so stupid Eiji. So fucking dumb. I..." Another sob as you try to collect yourself, "I really fucking like him and then I go and use you to spite him. I'm sorry Eji I'm sorry I'm such a slut. I'm sorry."

Is all you can say as you clutch onto his shirt as if you had been lost and he was the first to find you.

The first to be salvation.

"Hey..." He soothes pushing his own hurt pride down, "It's okay. Just don't do it again. I know you're sad...."

"I'm sorry...." You say again wiping away the tears as you borderline hyperventilate.

"Here." Kirishima says pulling his shirt from his toned form to shield you from non existant prying eyes, "You wanna catch up on some anime? Eat some iiiicccceeeecreeeaam?"

You nod shyly as he lifts you onto the couch, wrapping you in the faux fur blanket you insisted should be in the living room before he heads to his room for another shirt. He comes back just as quickly to see you staring down at your phone with sniffles, he turns on his heel to pop into your room, careful to avoid anything on the floor or night stand.

He grabs your favorite giant plush and returns.

Little does he know it's one Bakugou won for you. But your face doesn't become crestfallen when he tucks it in your arms.

More tears prick your eyes as his actions remind you of Bakugou's normal after care. The rare time where his wall his down and he speaks so softly.

And just for you. Your heart squeezes in your chest as you think of the moments you fell in love with him.

"I'll be right back. Kay?" Kirishima says before slipping out the door.

Not ten minutes later he finds you in the same spot, although you do have the anime series you two were watching pulled up. Your crying had slowed but not by much as you stare down at what must be a dry phone.

He places the icecream in your hand sitting beside you. He watches you snap a picture of you holding your stuffy and the icecream to send to Bakugou before you lean into him a little like you normally would.

Kirishima is happy to be your shoulder to cry on. Silently he is rooting for you two. Especially now that he knows what must be going on. He's seen the way the two of you look at each other at parties.

More than lust lies in both yours and his scarlet eyes.

Kirishima pulls you closer to place a soft kiss on your hair line before the two of you settle in for a long night of anime.

You wake to the sound of banging on the door. You breathe in deeply as Kirishima startles beneath you. Having fallen asleep in what has to be the most uncomfortable position you've ever seen.

"Sorry. I'll get it." You say softly as you stand, stretching as you assume it's your neighbor two doors down looking for her lost kitten. Again.

"Sorry I haven't seen your kitten." You say opening the door without looking, instantly regretting not only your choice of words but your outfit. Scarlet eyes stare you down as he pushes past you into you into the apartment.

He cannot tell if you are being a brat or not.

He cannot tell if you slept with his best friend or not especially with the two conflicting pictures you sent.

"Oh uhh Hey Bakugou!" Kirishima scratches the back of his head awkwardly. Scarlet eyes notices his outfit. A brick red shirt and jeans.

No one puts jeans back on after they fuck, at least not in their own house. Still Bakugou keeps his hands deep in his black dress pants, still clad in a collared shirt, loosened tie and black vest from his early morning debriefing.

He would have been at apartment 3C earlier if it hadn't been for that stupid fucking meeting.

"You might want to leave." He keeps his voice even yet still his normal gruff as he speaks to Kirishima. The red head nods in agreement before looking to you.

Poor exhausted cried out you. He swallows thickly and whispers to you as he leaves out the door.

"Tell him and text me if you need me." With that Kirishima closes the door to leave you sealed inside with a deadly tiger.

"Care to explain, kitten?" He lets his eyes rove over the semi messy apartment, a pizza box and empty icecream containers litter the coffee table, the stuff animal he won, or more so threatened the game worker at the fair sits on the couch slightly tucked into the blanket.

"Or is it as you said and you are not my kitten anymore?"

Shit. He took your words seriously when they were intended for someone else entirely. If you told him the truth would he believe you.

"I'm still your kitten, sama." You say softly, avoiding eye contact. Still exhausted from the night before.

"Yea?" He asks coming closer, bending down to catch your eyes, hands still in his pockets to keep from popping, "Then prove it."

You rack your brain of all of his favorite lewd things you do for him and think of only one thing that has him admit you're in control. You sink to your knees, hands going to unbuckle his pants when a calloused hand seizes your throat. Choking you as he lifts you back up to your feet. Furry clouds his eyes as he looms over you.

"This is not what *my* kitten would do." He snarls, "*My* kitten would defy me until I pushed her to her knees. My kitten is disobedient. She shows her claws and bears her teeth when she's mad."

"And she's always fucking mad." He snaps letting you go to sit on the couch. He waits for you to follow and when you do not he slaps his knee hard.

You gulp as you wonder if this is the other half of your punishment.

You crawl over his lap for him to growl over your shorts. The ones that drive him mad even when he's pissed. Like now you feel him growing hard especially after he massages your ass to warm it up. He waits for any sort of protest before he comes down with a hard slap. You whince as he waits, eyes falling to your head, when you nod yes to go on he proceeds to spank you over and over again. Massaging and moving to other parts of the ass but relentlessly attacking.

"This is for wearing these around Eijirou." Another slap before a cool rub down, "This is for making me think you fucked him."

As his hand rubs over your ass and down between your thighs he speaks again.

"Are you going to tell me why you were eating icecream and snuggling with King explosion murder?" He asks referring to your fluffy angry looking bear. You're still unable to answer earning another spank, you cry out but he continues.

"You only eat icecream when you're sad." More silence and another hit this time increased intensity with aid of his quirk.

"P..please please sir. I'm..." You swallow a bit of your pride as he brings another blasting palm to your ass, "I'm starting to hurt."

"Ah so you do know how to use your words." He rubs his fingers against your dampening shorts and you buck for better access. He slaps your ass again, "Kitten gets spanked until she tells me what's really got her acting out."

One, two, three more slaps before tears are welling in your eyes. Still he looks to your head for a nod of approval when it doesn't come he decides he will do a final slap before trying a different approach.

This slap sends you over the edge as you think and think and God damn think.

"I like you. Like really like *like* you and I wanted you to be my fucking valentine!" You yell out, tears slipping down cheeks. You're righted quickly, he has you straddling him as he looks up at you.

His eyes are the same as they are during after care. Kind, soft, worried and only ever for you. Your heart pounds faster in your chest as he pushes some hair out of the way.

"Y/N....my kitten why didn't you tell me?" His voice is laced with hurt as he searches your eyes.

"Because I told you no feelings and then I go and fuck it all up!" He squeezes your ribs before his hand wipes away more tears. He gives you a soft smile that slowly turns into a deadly smirk.

"I guess I fucked up too huh?" He kisses you tenderly before putting in all of his burning passion onto your lips. Tongue fighting yours as you start to grind into his hips. He breaks the kiss hands falling to your hips placing the ball in your court.

"You like like me?" You ask, hands crumpling his nice dress shirt.

"No." He says slyly, kissing your forehead, "I love you."

You blink, heart bursting in your chest as you stare down the most emotionally unavailable man you knew. Or at least thought he was emotionally unavailable.

"Have been. For months." He admits, now it is your turn to kiss him, one hand working to free his member while his hands move aside the shorts.

"Are you sure?"

"Always Sama. Please." You say desperately before he aligns himself to plunge into you. You gasp, holding his eyes as this is the first time you've faced him.

All the other times you had asked to be bent over or blind folded.

He slowly thrusts into you before you ride him out, wanting to give him pleasure for once. He squeezes your hips as you're in charge praising your work and movements as you begin to chase your own high.

"Fuuuuck. You're riding me so well." He says coming up to bite on your collar bones, sucking hard enough to leave small bruises. You feel him twitch in your as he gets closer causing the tightness in your stomach to double.

You were going to make him come all your own. You hump harder as your clit rubs against his boxers just right causing your moans to come out shuddering.

"I..I'm close." You gasp out, core grasping onto his hard memeber for all that it's worth.

"Cum for me kitten." He breaths and he thrusts into you, holding your eyes causing you to come wholly undone. Emotionally physically and as cliche as it sounded spiritually as you watched face contort in sinful pleasure as he fucked deeply into you, hand pressing your forehead harshly to his as he filled you to the brim.

The two of you are quiet for a moment, his grip letting up as your tightens on him. You get up off of him but do not leave his lap. He stares up at you with even newer eyes, your body shudders on it's own from his duality you so desperately needed.

"Be my valentine kitten?" He asks softly supporting you even though you are on top. You smile down at him before your inner brat takes over, stealing a feverish kiss before adding.

"I thought a King never asks."

@lady-bakuhoe here is the kirishima part 😊

#bnha angst #bnha fluff #kitten valnetines day event!#bnha x reader #bakugou smut #bakugo smut #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #bnha smut #bnha kacchan #bnha fic #bnha fanfiction #bnha asks

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myherowritings · 6 years ago

Text

masterlist

SOCIAL MEDIA AU MASTERLIST

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

TODOROKI SHOUTO

i. animal instincts

with your shapeshifting quirk, you take on the duty of becoming the resident undercover therapy cat for class 1-a. one day, you see todoroki restless in the middle of the night and try to comfort him in cat form. but what happens when he confides in you his feelings you weren’t meant to hear?

ii. into your arms

you’re prone to tripping and todoroki is prone to being there to catch you. or, in which you’re a bit of a klutz and, for a reason he can’t explain, shouto wants to make sure you never get hurt.

iii. an otome addiction

you become obsessed with the characters in the otome game, mystic messenger, and your boyfriend todoroki gets a little bit jealous.

iv. strawberry scented dreams

the 3 times todoroki falls asleep on you + the 1 time you fall asleep on him. shouto is always sleepy and needs some rest, and your shoulder just happens to be the comfiest place to get it.

v. can you keep a secret?

you and shouto are secretly dating and none of your classmates know. during a study session in todoroki’s dorm, kaminari, sero, and midoriya find your lacy thong under shouto’s desk and try to figure out whose it is.

vi. frosting fights

midoriya has been feeling sad lately, so you and todoroki (try to) bake him a cake in the middle of the night.

vii. the panty thief

modern au. “my cat steals underwear and i come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.” in which todoroki is a new cat parent and you’re his new neighbor whose panties keep disappearing.

viii. overheated

it’s super hot out and you feel like you’re dizzy and about to faint. todoroki is there to cool you off with his right side.

ix. jealousy for dummies

jealous of all the time shouto has been spending with yaoyorozu, you hatch up a plan with bakugou to give todoroki a taste of his own medicine.

x. ghostwriter masterlist [smau]

college au. you’re an aspiring writer with a longtime crush on the ghost hunter on campus, todoroki shouto. when you two are paired up for a semester-long journalism project, you come up with the perfect, foolproof plan to get him to fall for you.

xi. hearts intertwined

roommate au. you and todoroki have been roommates for months now but have barely had more than a two minute conversation. when quarantine hits and everyone is on lockdown, you find yourself forced to spend more time with him and actually end up…enjoying it?

xii. fictional crush

class 1-a has an avatar: the last airbender marathon and you can’t help but swoon over your fictional crush, prince zuko, leaving todoroki feeling a little jealous.

xiii. letters of my love [smau]

tatbilb au. you and your friends mail out your past love letters because you want to see your old crushes’ reactions. on accident, you mail your current crush’s letter. to make it seem like your crush on bakugou is gone, you fake date another letter recipient, todoroki shouto.

xiv. eat the rich [series]

ceo/barista au. todoroki shouto was a wealthy, young ceo who inherited his father’s enterprise. you were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. one day, shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. to your surprise and complete pleasure: it was not.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

i. one hell of a knockout

boxer au. bakugou is a young pro boxer climbing his way to the top of the charts. one day, his friends kirishima and ashido invite you to a match. unbeknownst to you, you end up accidentally distracting katsuki during a fight and he gets a punch landed on his face.

ii. take you out

you ask bakugou out on a picnic date to the park, but he thinks you’re challenging him to a fight. you can’t tell who is more confused when the day finally comes.

iii. kitty kisses

your boyfriend and your cat don’t get along. bakugou keeps trying to come up with different ways to get your cat to finally warm up to him. (or, in which katsuki spends 3 hours baking treats for a tsundere cat.)

iv. “you’re hot when you’re angry”

you and bakugou get into a disagreement, you get pinned underneath him, and he smirks and realizes just how hot you are when you’re pissed.

v. a soothing touch

pro hero au. katsuki is sore and stressed from a long day at work but is too stubborn to let you give him a massage.

vi. “she’s my wife”

pro hero au. when bakugou forgets his lunch in the refrigerator, you decide to deliver it to him at his agency. but when you’re there, the new receptionist calls you a bitch. bakugou responds appropriately.

vii. cold shoulder

pro hero au. whenever you and bakugou get into a disagreement, he blasts the air conditioner until you have no choice but to ask him to cuddle.

viii. the appreciation post

pro hero au. one of the responsibilities of being a pro hero in this day and age is having a social media presence. you tag bakugou in an appreciation post while he’s out in public and he gets embarrassed in the best way possible.

ix. slip of the tongue

pro hero au. during a charity interview with the top three heroes, deku and shouto “accidentally” give away ground zero’s crush on you. you’re asked about bakugou in an interview of your own and, during a fit of excitement, accidentally let your crush on him slip.

x. the jealous type | fanart

class 1-a has a game night in the common room. bakugou sees you and todoroki getting too close for comfort and can’t stop himself from getting jealous.

xi. a forgotten anniversary

pro hero au. it yours and bakugou’s one year anniversary, but he’s so busy with hero work that he forgets. you’re hurt and upset, but katsuki may have a few tricks up his sleeve…

xii. shirt on, bra off

aged up au. bakugou sees you take off your bra, one-handed, and he can’t help but be in a bit of awe.

xiii. bear hugs

you see your childhood friend, bakugou, for the first time in years and you greet him with a giant bear hug...only to find yourself in the nurse’s office right after.

xiv. call me b-a-b-y

bakugou absolutely hates when you call him pet names. he hates the smile on your face when you say it, hates the way he can’t stop blushing-- he hates it. right?

xv. fever talk | fanart

pro hero au. “side effects may include: light-headedness, disorientation, and accidental confessions of love.” you help nurse a fever-ridden ground zero back to health, but little did you know it should have come with a warning.

xvi. the language of flowers

you decide to make the most of your nature quirk by giving your crush, bakugou, endless bouquets of flowers.

xvii. fact or fiction? [18+]

pro hero au. ground zero’s crush on you has become painfully obvious to everyone, leading to an incessant amount of shipping. one day, he gets himself off to one of the many lewd stories about the two of you and you find out.

xviii. paparazzi

pro hero au. you and ground zero go on your first date as a public couple and the paparazzi won’t stop harassing the two of you. bakugou decides to take you to his house to cook for you and things begin to heat up in the kitchen.

xix. number neighbor masterlist [smau]

college au. in which bakugou katsuki is a grumpy and sarcastic college student just trying to get his degree and you are his bubbly number neighbor who is determined to become his new “bestie.”

xx. all that ass [nn scenario] | fanart

a number neighbor bonus fic. one night at the gym, you see a handsome guy with so much ass, you take a picture on the sly and send it to your number neighbor, bakugou, to freak out over. but what you don’t expect is for bakugou to reply with a picture of you from the same gym.

xxi. honey, honey

pro hero au. ground zero, deku, and shouto are scheduled to have a meet-and-greet at a primary school to boost their rankings. there, bakugou unexpectedly meets a kindergarten teacher with a sweet smile who likes to call people honey.

xxii. under my patrol

pro hero au. after seeing your boyfriend cheat on you on a night you were supposed to be on a date, you mope alone at a bar. stumbling home, you crash into the famous hero, ground zero.

xxiii. found a treasure

modern au. “it’s nice that your voice was the first thing i heard today.”

xxiv. mistletoe kiss

holiday au. after a few weeks of dating, you and katsuki still haven’t kissed. you hope that will change under the mistletoe this holiday season.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

i. the pizza delivery guy

modern au. your roommate orders a pizza with the special instructions, “send your cutest delivery boy ;)” and you’re left in begrudging awe when it actually works.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

i. you suck at gaming masterlist [smau]

youtuber au. you’re a youtuber known for your chaotic yet wholesome content and shinsou is a gamer who keeps getting accused of being an eboy. one day you upload a video trying your hand at gaming and shinsou tweets out about how much you suck.

ii. borrowed sweaters, stolen kisses

aged up. in a game of truth or dare, you’re dared to sneak into your crush’s dorm and steal one article of clothing to wear the next day. it just so happens that the hoodie you snatched was shinsou’s favorite sweater.

iii. turn on your airdrop masterlist [smau]

modern au. you’re at a theme park when kaminari dares you to airdrop memes to the first device that pops up and reluctantly, you give in. but never would you have thought they’d send you memes back… nor could you have guessed the person you were feeling a meme-connection with was your first love and first heartbreak, shinsou hitoshi.

iv. maybe it’s fate [toya pt. 25]

a turn on your airdrop written chapter. after discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. the person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

KAMINARI DENKI

i. play me a song [smau]

youtube/celeb au. you’re an actress and singer who is highly adored by youtuber, kaminari denki. after his endless simping and thirsting on twitter, you finally decide to reply to one of his tweets.

TODODEKU

i. pinky promise

a quirk sends todoroki back in time and there he sees a four year old midoriya crying in the park. what better way to cheer him up than with some strawberry ice cream?

HEADCANONS

HC: bakugou meets his s/o’s unsupportive parents

HC: pro hero shouto meets his quirkless s/o working at a hospital

HC: todoroki absolutely does not get along with his s/o’s male best friend

HC: shouto takes care of sore s/o

HC: bakugo + kirishima get a surprise kiss from s/o

HC: todoroki and s/o bake brownies and things get a little messy

HC: todoroki and s/o go to hanami (flower viewing)

HC: s/o peppers kisses all over todoroki’s face + he turns bright red

HC: todoroki and s/o have your first date at the aquarium

HC: iida + midoriya + todoroki react to their s/o whose nose twitches when cold/concentrated

HC: sleep deprived s/o with todoroki + bakugou

HC: getting high with kirishima + bakugou + todoroki [18+]

HC: baku + kiri + todo react to s/o being catcalled

HC: you’re harassed by a stranger and, to make them stop, you grab your friend [shouto + katsuki] and give him a kiss to prove he’s your boyfriend

HC: boyfriend!denki headcanons

HC: how baku + todo + kami kiss their s/o and what they taste like

HC: bakugou + todoroki cuddling headcanons

HC: bakugou + todoroki react to their s/o squeezing their butt

HC: bakugou + todoroki find their crushes diary and accidentally read it

HC: bnha as fuckboys (kami + todo + kiri + shin)

HC: autumn with todo + baku + kiri

HC: valentine’s day with baku + todo + shin

HC: shin + todo + baku replying to flirty anons

FAKE TEXTS

FT: prank texts on your crush todoroki

#masterlist #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #midoriya x todoroki #myherowritings #todoroki shouto #todoroki shouto x reader #x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha imagines

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xxthefairywitchxx · 4 years ago

Note

🖊, 🏦, 👶 and 🌧 for whomever you want? @wegotasatanselfshipperere

I’ve got a very specific mix of brain rot sooo here we go! 🖊 If your F/O were to start a collection of things, what would they horde? What would be their most prized possession? (Besides you, obviously) Jaden: Homeboy has a collection of Duel Monsters cards for sure but if it was something else, probably super hero action figures or comic books. He’s a nerd and it’s delightful~. Probably a Flame Wingman or Neos figure would be his favorite I think. Jack: Oooh that one’s hard. Hmm...Does ways to piss me off count? Kidding...Mostly. Maybe ear rings, or his own merch? His favorite is probably one of the nicer figures of him or maybe a magazine clipping of when he first one the turbo duel champion title. Broly: Oh god, everything. He’s a bit like a crow, he just collects everything that catches his eye. His favorite is a green dog plushie. 🏦 Things go awry at the ice cream shop opening and now thugs are robbing the place! You and you F/O manage to hide from them, but how do you escape the situation? Jaden: Oof. He duels the robbers, or uses his powers to summon spirits to subdue them. Jack: Honestly Jack either duels them, fights them or just scares them off by threatening them. He’s big, so... Broly: Code Red: He’s gone Berserk again...I hope they weren’t humans, because the robbers are most definitely dead... 👶 Switch time! Your F/O meets YOU when you were little. (Still 8-12 ish) How do they interact with younger you? How would your younger self interact with them? Jaden: Aevgrsvth fgrrv I idolized this man when I was 12. Watching him duel and keep smiling through all the hell he went through helped me deal with my worsening depression, and he knows that. He’d encourage her to do her best and to ask for help if she needs it, and she would cry. She would cry a lot. Jack: Ooooh...I would have either been in love with him or hated him, there’s no in between. Jack would probably try to play nice with her, and she would just be happy to have a friend to talk to. Especially such a big dude, she’d prolly want to take a picture with him and show it to the bullies and go ‘He’ll beat you up if you’re mean to me!’ Broly: He’d probably be scared of hurting her with how small she is, but she’d prolly be content with a piggyback ride everywhere. She’d prolly also want a picture with him to threaten bullies with, but telling Broly she’s been bullied would be a bad idea in general. He would want to beat up children who aren’t children anymore and would probably kill them. 🌧 Not everything is perfect… So one day everything just seems to go wrong. Nothing is working out like you thought it would and people are rude. You come home angry and tired and however else a bad day makes you feel. How would your F/O comfort you, or make your day a little brighter? Jaden: This man is so sweet. He’d probably ask if I wanted to talk about it just be distracted, and if the former, he’d listen, if the latter he’d make me laugh so hard I cried. He’d prolly offer to cook dinner, and he’s not a bad cook, I just don’t know if I trust him in the kitchen yet...He pulled a pizza out of the oven without putting on the oven mitts in front of me once and I have flashbacks to it every time he offers to cook. Jack: Honestly, this man would offer to fight someone. And he would follow through with it. He’d probably rant about the bullshit with me, offer to get take out, or take me somewhere nice to take my mind off it if I’m not too tired, and if I’m too tired to go out we’d prolly be on the sofa, me in his lap while we eat take out and watch something cute. Broly: This man is too sweet for his own good, but honestly I don’t think he’d know how to react. I think he’d try to do what I do when I have to calm him down. He’d prolly have me sit in his lap, run his fingers through my hair or rub my back and sing until I fell asleep

#anon #ask #ask me #ask meme #self ship #ship: SuperLuv #Ship: TBA #Ship: Let's Rock #Anonymous

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1193

Have you ever been cheated on? Nope.

Whose car were you last in? Other than my own? Hans’s, but that was over two months ago.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? How timely is this, Andi literally randomly asked me how I feel about septum piercings this afternoon haha. Anyway, I have no problem with it on other people but I personally wouldn’t pick my nose as a spot for piercings.

Have your parents ever smoked pot? I don’t know, they may have but there’s a big chance they haven’t. They don’t really share much about their youth so I would never know.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated? That’s definitely not me.

Are you good at giving directions? Not at all; if anyone asks me directly I usually immediately refer them to whoever I’m with at the time. Or I tell them to check Waze.

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? She would and she’d definitely be pissed about it. Not that I have to worry about this ever happening, though.

Did you speak to your father today? Yessssssss, I literally just caught a glimpse of him like two minutes ago.

Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen? No, I was 16 turning 17 when I had my first.

Could you go a day without eating? Yeah, but I wouldn’t feel well by the end of it. I’ve formed a habit of skipping breakfast and lunch on weekdays now, and I always feel like complete shit once I clock out. Considering I only eat dinner these days, I guess I can say I do regularly go entire days without eating.

Are your nails always painted? I never paint them/have them painted.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? Just local ones.

What color is your hair? Black.

Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? Yes.

Have you danced in the rain? Maybe? I don’t know. Doesn’t sound like something I would do, though.

When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap? Nope. I never liked getting in trouble, even as a kid, so I stayed out of it.

What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not? That’s a common practice where I live, at least it was during my time. My mom didn’t believe in spanking her kids, which I’ll always be thankful for; but the cousins I lived with didn’t have the same fate so I regularly had to watch them get spanked - with sticks, slippers, belts, etc basically anything that was within reach. I think today’s generation of parents are different; I hope they are.

Who was the last male you hung out with? Gab, Kyelle, Al, and Hans.

Who is your favorite person to text? I don’t text anymore, but I do chat with Angela on Messenger everyday.

Who did you last take a picture with? Does an online photo count? We had an event held through Zoom last Wednesday and we had a photo op by the end of it.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don’t have any. I just wear whichever pair I’d feel good and confident wearing.

Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents? Nooooooooo you’re making me pick between my two absolute favorites. I might have to go with Spongebob, but it barely barely barely won. Fairly OddParents is great too, at least until they added the baby fairy.

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else? Many times. Idk if I’m happy about it because something tells me it just means I have quite the common face. Idk. I don’t think too much about it and as long as I’m compared to someone I personally find pretty, it’s fine lol.

Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? Not so much. I find them too loud, especially the crickets.

Who is the most overrated singer? Taylor Swift.

What is your favourite planet? I don’t have one, but let’s go with Saturn.

Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? Wow no. 23 years is a very long time.

Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby? Yep, my mom kept all our umbilical cord stumps. It’s in our baby albums.

Do you enjoy Mario games? Very much so. It’s the only franchise I can play HAHAHA

What’s your favorite online game? I don’t play online games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? I probably have been.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off? I used to sometimes shut it off whenever I’d fight with my ex and I didn’t want to deal with the world for a while. Now with the toxicity out of my life I never turn it off lol.

Who was last to cook for you? My mom made pasta for dinner tonight. Then after that I asked her to make me coffee mixed with Milo.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Depends on who texts. I get anxious when it’s media texting, so I tend to ignore those for a few hours unless they ask something urgent. If it’s someone from my inner circle, like a friend or one of my parents, I would check and reply immediately, or at least as soon as I see the text.

Who is your most trusted person? Mmm, probably Angela. I literally reached out last night to ask her to log on to my Facebook so she can unfriend Gab and her family on my behalf. I don’t think I would’ve asked that from anyone else.

How late did you stay up last night? A little earlier than my usual, around midnight or so. I knew my load was going to be packed today since my manager had filed a leave which meant I had to cover for her tasks as well, so I wanted to get enough rest so that I didn’t wake up sleepy and cranky.

When/where are you most likely to sing? As long as I’m alone, I’ll sing. I like to do it, just not in front of other people.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave? That would be soooooooo nice. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a cave. :(

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? I imagine giving her an awkward smile and probably being the first to approach. Then I would ask how she’s been. I’m in a place in my life where I’m sure I’ll be able to do that.

Have you been/are you depressed? I’ve been there many times.

Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? No. I would hate to be in that situation.

Who is the best hugger you know? Laurice.

Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation? Nopes.

Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done? I know Angela has a few. Gabie took a few as well; whether she still has them or not I’m not updated on anymore, nor do I care.

Why did you text the last person in your inbox? I was just reminding Angela there was a BTS video coming out tonight.

Have you ever been able to do a split? No but I’ve attemped to do it many times.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes.

Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you? I never keep track of things like that. I know it would bring nothing but unnecessary stress, so I never snoop or ask around to check if anyone’s been talking not-so-nicely about me behind my back.

Have you ever cried in school? Maybe only about once or twice in the 18 years I was in school. I absolutely hate crying in front of people, and I mainly do it when I’m alone. I don’t think I’ve even ever cried in front of Angela; that’s how much I hate it.

Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at? I don’t remember ever screaming at a guy.

Do you have any weird sleep habits? I...wouldn’t know, since I’m asleep when I do them. I always sleep alone too, so no one would be able to tell me how I sleep. All I know is I’m not much of a mover and I usually wake up in the same position (or almost the same position) I fell asleep in.

Do you consider yourself an emotional person? Yes, I’m sensitive in every sense of the word.

When was the last time you had a headache? Last Wednesday when not eating for the entire day finally hit me like a truck by the end of my shift. :/

When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Cooper circa September.

Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about? Yes, many instances.

Do you ever try to interpret your dreams? No, I don’t think anything of them beyond “just weird scenarios of people I know doing weird things.”

What was the last thing you bought impulsively? Three orders of sushi, 24 pieces in total.

How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? No amount of money would make me do it.

When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous? This afternoon when a supplier we’re currently working with asked to call. Normally my manager would be the one mainly in touch with people like them, but since she was out today I was next in line.

If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss seeing my friends everyday and being able to hang out after our classes, even if it just means sitting at a table doing nothing together.

Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? Excessively. I use it even in the subdivision lmao, or on one-way roads.

How exactly are you feeling right now? Content. It’s a little hot and mosquitoes keep flying around me, but I’m not letting these affect my mood. Just focusing on the fact that it’s a Friday night and I can let go of work for a couple of days.

Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane? Never happened before. I just close up my windows completely so that they don’t slam if ever the wind gets too strong.

Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed? I don’t recall ever feeling the need to do this. The sound doesn’t bother me much anyway; definitely not as much as it annoys most people.

Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house? Yup I did that for Angela and Kata recently, for my birthday, along with truffle mac and cheese. Basically my favorite orders from Mama Lou’s, haha.

What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? I believe it was water.

Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor? Ugh this question is so outdated I don’t even want to take the time to answer it.

Ever done a keg stand? No.

Who is the last person you lent money to? I don’t lend my money.

Do you share clothing with anyone? Mmm, sometimes. It’s usually me borrowing clothes from my sister, though.

Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab? Nope.

Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product? No, it was just water. I’d never be caught craving for soda.

Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? No. I experienced having strict parents, so I know it’s not something I would want to pass on to my kids. I want my kids to be able to go out with friends and attend parties and get tattoos (when they’re older) and express their identity without being scared of me.

What was the last kind of chips you ate? Piattos cheddar chips.

What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Investing and stocks.

What is the last thing you charged? My laptop.

Have you ever held a snake? Yes. I’m always the only one in the family willing to do things like this when we go on vacations haha.

#survey #surveys

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offtopicoverload · 4 years ago

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“that wasn’t supposed to happen” for Marisol x MC x

Finally working through prompts again, sorry it took so long <3

~1.4k words

Marisol x MC (Violet)

Marisol has made a lot of mistakes in her life. She’s rear ended another car, she’s dropped her phone in the toilet, she’s failed a few assignments, and she’s forgotten her best friend’s birthday. She makes mistakes, just like anyone else, from something small like forgetting her favourite pen in a lecture hall to coupling up with the wrong people for weeks on a reality show. She makes mistakes, so what? It’s not a big deal.

Well, okay sometimes it’s a big deal and maybe right now just so happens to be one of those times.

“Oh my god, Marisol!” Violet shouts, her arms flying around her in exasperation, “You can’t just -” she drags her hands through her hair, “You can’t just ghost me for a week! And then get pissed when I’m pissed!”

“I told you, I didn’t mean to, I was just busy!” Marisol shouts back, her eyes on her cutting board as she slices fruit for a smoothie. She’d never admit it, but Rocco’s in the Villa got her curious to try out different recipes.

Violet laughs coldly, “For a whole week?! I texted you like a hundred times and I didn’t get a single response! The only reason we’re talking right now is because I travelled for two and a half hours and showed up at your door!”

“Yeah, and I didn’t ask you to do that!” Marisol dumps sliced bananas and strawberries into the blender.

“You haven’t asked me anything in over a week!” Violet stares at the back of Marisol’s head as she avoids looking at her.

“I was busy!” She adds a few chunks of ice.

“You were ghosting!”

“Why would I ghost you?!” She adds the lid of the blender.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out!”

“Well there’s nothing to figure out! It was an accident, okay?!” She hits the blend button, drowning out Violet’s voice behind her until the blades relent, silence resuming.

“No, it’s not okay,” Violet forces her voice low, “We live hours away from each other and can only talk over the phone. That doesn’t work if you don’t pick up the fucking phone!”

“It was a fucking accident!” She untwists the cap of the milk and pours it in, the liquid splashing along the chunks of fruit and ice.

Violet lets out some combination of an exasperated groan and a strangled, frustrated scream as she lets her head fall to Marisol’s kitchen counter, her hands in her hair as she stands frozen, her heaving breaths the only indication that she’s even alive. “Marisol, if you want to break up, just tell me. I’m not playing games.” Her voice is steady, calm despite the previous shouting match as her words come out muffled against the counter.

“What? No! We’re not breaking up!” Marisol finally turns to stare at her hunched form in disbelief.

Violet sighs, still slumped against the marble, “Will you tell me why you ghosted me then?”

Marisol huffs, “I didn’t fucking ghost you!” She hits the blend button again, the blades whirring to life and… shooting smoothie all over the kitchen, making a massive mess of the counters and cabinets and floor, fruit splattered everywhere. Marisol slaps the button with everything she has, successfully turning off the blender and stopping the onslaught of mashed ingredients.

She turns slowly, meeting Violet’s gaze, their eyes wide and surprise painted across their faces, and a lot of smoothie on Marisol’s, too. “Well… That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Neither say another word for a long minute, the tension building… And building… And building…

Until it explodes through laughter, Violet doubling over and clutching her sides, Marisol shaking as it rips from her chest, echoes filling the flat. They laugh and laugh until their throats hurt, until their gasping for breath and clinging to the counter just to stay upright. Smoothie chunks are in their hair, staining their clothes, making the floor slick as they laugh some more.

Violet steps forward after she finally catches her breath, careful not to slip, while Marisol still chuckles softly, a smile finally gracing her messy lips since Violet arrived. Violet’s long arms wrap around Marisol from the side, the shorter woman falling into her with a sigh. Violet’s face nuzzles into ombre blonde hair, her fingers tucking loose locks behind Marisol’s ear and picking out fruit chunks, flicking them across the room.

Marisol takes a deep breath, “Look, I am really sorry that I ignored you, it’s just…” she sighs, Violet’s nail scratching the hinge of her jaw. “The long distance thing is really hard, vida,” she confesses. “And I just - I needed a break but I didn’t know how to say it. Because I really do love you, I really do, I’m just awful at only texting for five minutes at a time and studying together on FaceTime when we’re both swamped and exhausted.”

Violet hums above her knowingly, encouraging her to continue, as her thumb on Marisol’s side brushes up and down. “I like when you’re here, and it’s so different when you’re not. So I’m sorry, but I think something needs to change. I can come up more often, or I can try and match my schedule better or -”

“I’ll move,” Violet cuts her off. Marisol’s eyes go wide, her lips parting as her head falls back to gaze up at Violet in shock, finding a droplet of smoothie on her forehead. “I’ll move here,” she repeats. “I’ve been thinking about it anyway, and if you think long distance isn’t working, then I’ll move. I don’t mind,” she shrugs nonchalantly.

“Are - are you sure?” Marisol pulls herself from her grasp, hands gripping Violet’s forearms as she desperately works to confirm if it’s real, “It’s a big thing, you know, and I’m not asking you to -”

“I’m sure,” Violet cuts her sentence off again, nodding with a calm expression on her face. “And I’ve done it before, you know,” she grins down at Marisol, the corners of her dark eyes crinkling with her soft smile. “I know what I’m doing, amor, and I also know you’re not asking. I want to. I don’t like long distance, either, not when the only person I have in Northampton is my tía and she won’t mind, anyway,” she reassures.

Marisol’s eyes fall from Violet’s, staring at her shirt as she considers carefully. She darts forward, burying her face in the crook of Violet’s neck as her arms coil around her waist, Violet wrapping her own arms back around Marisol. “I swear I’ll never ghost you again,” she murmurs into her neck.

Violet laughs, and pride wells in Marisol’s chest, “It’ll be harder when we’re in the same city.”

“Same flat,” Marisol corrects, determined for it to be real.

“Yeah? You - you want me in your space?” Violet sounds uneasy, like their previous discussion never even took place.

Marisol leans back again to meet her eyes, “Obviously.”

Now Violet’s the one to tackle her in a hug, her arms around Marisol’s shoulders tight as she laughs into her ear, oblivious to the mess covering Marisol, who laughs back the whole time. They cling and laugh as the sun sets, the dark cloud that flooded the flat when Marisol opened the front door to Violet disappearing as they clean up the mess of smoothie and change, Violet stealing some clothes that are slightly too small.

They spend all night talking, making plans, looking up how difficult it’ll be for Violet to transfer her uni credits, calling her tía, who has to have an entire conversation with Marisol in Spanish to confirm that she’s good enough for her niece. They fall asleep on the sofa, tangled up in each other’s limbs and blankets, content and peaceful.

Three weeks later, Violet moves in with Marisol, credits transferred and everything. They spend all weekend unpacking her stuff and reorganizing the flat, eating pizza and watching movies surrounded by cardboard boxes and stacks of books, textbook, clothes, everything they still need to find space for in the small flat.

Marisol has made a lot of mistakes in her life. She’s cut herself with a box knife, she’s spilled shampoo all over the bathroom floor - twice - she’s missed a due date because someone fell asleep on her, and she’s ghosted her long distance girlfriend. She makes mistakes, just like anyone else, from something small like leaving a dirty plate in the kitchen sink to mixing up the colours on Violet’s laundry and staining everything. She makes mistakes, so what? It’s not a big deal, not when Violet lets her fix them.

#litg marisol #litg fanfic #prompt #maybe #prompts should be answered through this week

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coupddeongie · 5 years ago

Text

LOVE YOU GOODBYE.

Genre: Angst/Smut

Pairing: yoongi x reader

Word Count: Less than 3k

Warnings: My only warning is that it's my first time writing anything relatively smut-y, pls forgive me

Part of @seakay05’s One (1) Prompt Collab, under the category “Angst/Smut”

---

Ding-Dong.

"Yah, Y/N-ah," You heard Jungkook call from his room. You had a terrible week and your closest friend/roommate asked you to watch some movies with him so that you can wind down and just chill. "The pizza's here. I don't have cash. Can you pay for it?"

You groan, stepping out of your room. It was typical that Jungkook would ask you to spend time with him but ask you to pay for the food. You had a tiring week and this was the only way you could wind down - chilling with your roommate. He was one of your closest friends and you decided to get an apartment when you two needed a place to stay.

You didn't mind it though because he usually pays you back or treats you to dinner the next time you spend time together. You missed this and thinking about it made you smile ear-to-ear, until... you opened the door.

"I thought you were the pizza guy." You rolled your eyes, and just let the door fly open. Yoongi just grinned as he walked through the door. You tried to ignore the person you opened the door for because he made your blood boil and your panties wet, but you weren't going to tell him that.

"I was the pizza guy for a few months," He snickered, making your roll your eyes once more. "But not anymore. I found a better job, if I needed to remind you, Y/N,"

"You don't need to," You gave him a fake smile, "how can I forget if you mention it every five minutes?"

"Well, it's because it's worth mentioning, my dear Y/N. It’s not everyday I get to be an executive assistant for the best music producing company in Korea! " He says, as he falls into the love sofa. He loved saying it out loud because he worked so hard for it. "And what flavor pizza did you get?"

You scoffed, not facing him. "I don't know." You mindlessly start scrolling through your Instagram feed. “I didn’t order it. You can ask JK.”

You just didn’t want to look at his face because it would make you one of two things - annoyed or flustered. You didn’t have enough energy tonight to go through those things. Tonight was supposed to be simple - hang out with your roommate and watch movies. That’s it! Why was he making it hard for you? Yoongi getting me flustered every 5 minutes was not part of the agenda.

"Why are you always on your phone?" Yoongi asked, genuinely curious as to why you don't interact with him as much as he wanted you to.

He wanted to talk to you, to hear your voice. However, you mistook his words. You were offended by them. You thought that he was judging you and your actions. You started to get annoyed by his casual talk with you as if you were close friends.

"Why do you care?" You replied, annoyed by the sudden question. He was just the best friend of your roommate. You wanted to be nice in the beginning but he was annoying you and liked to push your buttons. He knew that he was pushing your buttons and he enjoyed it. He thought that you looked cute whenever you got mad at him.

He thought he could rile you up with the question, “Why can’t you get a better personality?” But he didn't think about the consequences of his words.

You were having a rough day and then this comes along. It was annoying and it made you snap. You rolled your eyes, threw a pillow at Yoongi and scoffed. “Fuck you.” You murmured, then stormed out of the room.

Why did shit keep piling up on your plate? You tried your best to be good to everyone. This was unfair!

Tears well up in your eyes and you hate yourself for it. Why did his words affect you so much? Why did his words have so much weight? Why did his words make you self-conscious? You didn't even like the guy! Or maybe you... do? You were balling and you didn't even realize it. Your face was now wet with tears and you just used the sleeve of your jacket to wipe off the snot that was coming out your nose. That was attractive.

---

You tried your best to sleep. You tossed and you turned, but to no avail. You didn't even enjoy the night with your best friend. You were waiting a couple days for this night and this happened! What a disaster. You kept thinking about how annoyed you were at Min Yoongi.

You found his face annoying, and you always hoped he’d shut up. But Maybe you could shut him up with your mouth or maybe he would shove his face into your pussy, both are very nice options. You’d forget your own name either way. It’s a win-win.

Wait, what? You thought to yourself. What did I just think about? This was wrong, you repeat to yourself. You were annoyed at him! Not hot and bothered. Get with the program, dammit!

You couldn't take it anymore. You wanted to end this suffering (and by suffering, you mean the way that you wanted Min Yoongi to touch you) so you decided to meet with an old friend, porn. You wanted to get off as soon as possible so that you could fall asleep.

You bring your middle finger to your sex and slowly touched yourself. You hissed at the contact because you weren't going to lie and say that you weren't wet when you saw Min Yoongi. No one can make you admit that, but it was the truth. You thought that your best friend's annoying other best friend was hot. You had eyes for crying out loud! The way he stares at you can make you whimper, if you couldn't control yourself.

A moan escaped your lips as you thought about how Yoongi looked tonight. If only his annoying mouth could be more useful, you'd be screaming his name by now. You were moaning as quietly as possible, feeling good, but not better. It felt good, but you knew it wasn't enough. It was either you had to change your position or watch some more porn. You couldn't focus on your video because the thought of Min Yoongi on top of you was making you go rougher than usual. The thought if Min Yoongi's hands all over you made you release a loud moan. Immediately, you shut yourself up by placing a pillow near your face so that you could bite it when you couldn't hold in a moan.

Would my hand be enough? You thought to yourself as you continued.

---

"Hyung, why did Y/N suddenly leave again?" Jungkook asked, for the nth time.

"Jungkook-ah," Yoongi stared at the younger. "I already told you! I was only talking to her. I tried making conversation."

"Maybe you said something..." He scratches the back of his neck. "She's not like that. She just storms off when she feels helpless and that if your words affected her."

"Why would my words affect her?" Yoongi thought out loud, he was meant to keep that in his head but the younger one just shrugged. Not knowing how the underlying feelings of both his best friends were growing without any of their knowledge.

“She was really happy before you got here,”

“Wow, thanks for making me feel welcome.” He huffed, crossing his arms. Slightly offended by his words. “All I wanted was to see her annoyed, not pissed.

“Why are you always at each other's throats?”

The older one started to think. He wasn’t exactly sure, but every time that he saw you at least slightly annoyed he would find that you were cute. You looked hot when you’re mad, he wasn’t going to lie to himself. And when your arguments and bickering would get heated, you would have this hot look on your face that would make him feel restricted in his pants. He would get hard at the thought of you.

He just shrugged at Jungkook, not wanting to tell his best friend that he had the hots for his other best friend.

"I may have said that she should get a better personality..." The older one murmured, suddenly realizing that his words were quite harsh.

“Hyung!” Jungkook gasped, eyes widened. “Y/N is very insecure about that. You shouldn’t have said that to her.”

“I know…” He answered quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Yoongi hyung, you shouldn’t say that to me.” The younger said, taking a gulp from his drink. “Tell that to Y/N.”

“Yah, Jungkook-ah, can’t you just tell her for me? Hmm…” Then he started pouting, trying to act cute.

“It’s not that hard hyung,” The younger one pointed out. “Just go to her room and apologize.”

“But… she might shout at me.” He was making excuses, but hey he thought they were valid.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and just threw some chips at the whining baby.

“Fine!” Yoongi gave up, raised his arms in the air. “But if she shouts at me, you’re going to buy me dinner. I’m hungry as fuck.”

---

Yoongi spent exactly 2 minutes and 38 seconds staring at the mirror in the bathroom trying to rehearse the things that he will say to you. He didn’t want to mess up and seem more of a prick than he already is.

“Y/N,” He said, “Look, I’m sorry… I never meant to say those things to you. That was really shitty of me, and yeah…”

“Y/N…?” There was nothing but silence on his side of the door, but he could hear a slight whimper on your side of it. The first thing that came to his mind was that his words may have affected you a little more than he initially thought. It’s been an hour since you left for your room and you were still crying?

His stomach fell to the floor. He felt worse that you were hurt by his words. He felt sorry, he wanted to tell you so bad. Why weren’t you responding?

Yoongi quietly turned the knob on your door and slowly pushed it. He entered the doorway and was ready to see a crying, sad you. But he was only met by an eye-closed, hands in your pants Y/N. He was about to turn around when he heard you moan his name, which caused him to accidentally bump into the chair that was weirdly placed near the door. Why the fuck did he not see that?

“Oh my God,” You shouted, removing your hands from your core. You were getting at a good pace and it only started making you feel good. “What the fuck? What are you doing here?”

“Y-Y/N, I was here to s-say sorry…” He stammered at his words. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

No words were said after his apology. You were nervous that he had heard you. Your face was turning red because of how he stared at you.

“I just wanted to apologize,” He repeated, his hand at the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I never meant to say those words.”

“Okay, Yoongi.” You finally said, “Now go!”

“I never meant to say those words.” He said once more, now he was repeating things.

“You already said that. I get it alrea-” He cut you off.

“Did you mean to say my name as you touched yourself?” He heard you. Fuck! Your breath hitched as he got close to you.

“It sounded like heaven, Y/N. I never thought I would hear you say my name and when you did,” He paused, you noticed his hand was moving towards you. You stopped breathing at this point and you could hear your heart through your ears. “I snapped.”

He placed his hand on your thigh, giving it a slight squeeze. “Can I touch you?” You whimpered again. The same whimper which he thought was you crying. He had a full blown hard on right now because of the way you were responding to his touch.

“Y-Yoongi,” You stammered, out of breath. You were lacking the stimulation that you wanted, “Please touch me.”

His hand found its way to the place where you needed it the most, and it felt good, too good. “Does that feel good, huh?” He wanted assurance, making sure that he wasn’t stepping out of line. “Do you want me to continue?”

When you didn’t respond to his question, he stopped and removed any contact with you. Your eyes shot open, whining at the loss of sensation.

“I need you to say it, Y/N.”

“Fuck,” You groaned, “please touch me, Yoongi.”

“You don’t need to beg, baby.”

---

The night ended with Yoongi in your bed, and Jungkook falling asleep on the couch, waiting for his best friends to make up. He didn’t expect them to make out, and… other stuff.

After doing the deed that night, you explained to him why you were affected by his words and everything started to make sense. It was your way of coping with your insecurities, and you were his way of being happy.

You were happy with your setup with Yoongi. He would come over sometimes, you’d pretend to fight, and this leaves an unknowing Jungkook drooling on the couch while the movie was still playing as you two fucked until you couldn’t move anymore.

You trusted Yoongi, and he trusted you. But it was in your bones that having something constant, being so happy was never good. It would always end up in misery. When you finally accept that things are great and that you don’t have a care in the world, the world crumbles in between your hands. You were never ready for a relationship and you made it clear to Yoongi when you were weeks into your setup. It wasn’t something that you were looking for right now, that’s why specifically had to mention it to him.

But he fucked up, he caught feelings. He started to develop feelings, attachment, and love for you. He understood your feelings and your worries. Every day, he tried to help you understand where he was coming from. He tried to tell you how much you mean to him, but you just wouldn’t get what he meant. He, too, was afraid to love. He was afraid that you would never accept his feelings, so he never told you.

---

He tried to make it seem as if it was only pillow talk but he wanted to hear your thoughts about your relationship. If there was a possibility that you’d take a step forward, but your answer only broke his heart.

He didn’t have the balls to tell you that he loved you. He wanted to hold you in his arms, lift the burdens off your shoulder and love you so hard that you’d overdose with happiness.

He was hurt, but he knew you were in pain too. His love for you was strong, but he wasn’t as strong. He was a coward and cowards flee. This was his plan, run away from the pain instead of suffering.

He didn’t tell you. He didn’t tell you that he was leaving, that he was going to go by dawn. He made love to you. He felt content when he saw that you were falling asleep with a smile on your face.

“That was fun, Yoon.” You barely whispered. “Thank you for that.”

“No worries, love.” He caressed your face, helping you sleep faster. The faster you sleep, the better. It would make him leave faster, but he knew that it wouldn’t hurt any less. “Go to sleep. I enjoyed tonight. It was my favorite.”

When your eyes shut, finally falling asleep, he kissed your forehead and whispered, “I love you.”

----

THIS WAS LATE AND I APOLOGIZE! Thank you @seakay05 for letting me join your collab 🥰 I hope this thing I wrote means something! I tried my best.

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mikeisthricedeceased · 5 years ago

Text

You’re My Home 3

Catfish x OC

Part 3: Honesty

Word Count: ~3.5k

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: ANGST, mentions of death, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of drug use, overdose, fluff

A/N: Sorry for the angst. Also for the info-dump of a dating montage. I gotta establish things. They fuck in the next part. Like, a lot.

Summary: They go on a few more dates and its a Montage. Frankie has a bad time in his apartment. Overdose and ER visit. Nita gives Frankie a stern talking-to.

~*~*~*~

Frankie woke up in his room, looking around blearily. He squinted, turning to look at the other side of the bed, only to find it empty.

Huffing out a sigh, he buried his face in his pillow.

She might’ve had work. Or had things to take care of at her place.

Or she just wanted to leave after he fell asleep because it was clear that nothing was going to happen, even if he had been awake.

It wasn’t fair to think like that. He knew that. It was a reflection of how he was getting into his own head far more than it was a reflection of anything she’d done.

Nita had sprawled out on the couch, leaning into him, head on his chest as they scrolled through movies and shows. She’d done her best to explain some parts of her job or the whole community behind it when they couldn’t find anything else to watch.

They’d spent a long time curled up on the couch and talking about whatever came to mind.

When he had asked her to stay, he hadn’t really been expecting much. After all, even with how much he wanted her, that odd guilt had stayed in the back of his mind.

He could still picture her tired smile as she said, “As long as we can move back to the bed. I don’t think I’ll survive sleeping on a couch for the night.”

She had quickly exchanged her jeans for an old pair of sweatpants he had, which were way too long on her, before slipping under the covers with him.

And now she was gone.

He reached for the phone on his nightstand, lifting it up and squinting. No notifications.

He sank into numbness as he got up, rubbing a hand down his face and shuffling to the bathroom to take a piss.

When he came back out, he headed to the kitchen, walking right past an old set of sneakers with a folded pair of jeans and a bra sitting on top of them.

He was in the middle of a yawn when he stepped into the kitchen and was confronted with the sight of Nita kneeling on top of the counter, a cabinet open next to her as she read the label on a bag of ground coffee.

She looked up when he stopped, giving him a warm smile.

The morning was already far better than he’d been preparing himself for.

~*~*~*~

“And this was right after she was born?” Nita asked.

Frankie smiled. “Yeah, right when they brought her back from being weighed and everything. She was so tiny.”

She looked up from the photo on his phone, placing a hand on his arm. “She’s so beautiful.”

Nita was sitting with her legs thrown across his lap, curled up against the arm of the couch in his living room. One of his hands rested just above her ankle, the other splayed over her thigh.

“She is,” he agreed. “Lana almost had to knock me out to get me to hand her over. As soon as Izzy was in my arms, I never wanted to give her up for anything.” His expression was so soft, bursting with adoration.

Nita chuckled. “Doesn’t surprise me, you big softie,” she said, brushing her knuckles along his jaw.

He rolled his eyes, waving her hand away. “Yeah, yeah.” He pointed to the phone in her hands. “If you scroll further down, there should be some more recent pictures. Stuff from her birthday.”

Nita leaned her head against the back of the couch as she looked through the pictures, a small smile on her face that grew whenever she came across a photo of a little girl with cake icing all over her face. “I think it’s safe to say you have the most adorable daughter in the world. At least, in my opinion,” she said, patting his chest and handing him his phone.

He nodded, grinning over at her as he took it. “Oh, I’d have to agree. No contest.” He squeezed her thigh affectionately.

They’d been dating for about a month. It was good. So good.

Over that month, he’d told her a little bit about the fuckup of a job that went down in South America the year before, and how it had cost them an old friend. How he blamed himself for the crash that made the whole thing go downhill. How he and his buddies had been trying to stay in touch a little more after that, even with how much civilian life kept them apart.

She’d told him about her friend and business partner, Sydney, as well as his husband, Ethan. How they, and the people she worked with, were her family. How her parents had kicked her out and cut her off when she came out after high school and that she had joined the Marines to help pay for college without them. How she hadn’t spoken to them since then. Nothing, in 25 years.

He didn’t think he would have made it as far as he had if he hadn’t had his parents to back him up. He had to give her credit for finding a whole new family and making a life doing what she enjoyed and cared about.

Frankie could feel himself open up to her whenever they went out together or when she came over and they just talked for hours about everything and nothing.

He eventually managed to bring up his struggles with cocaine, terrified of her reaction but more so terrified of the possibility of her finding out some other way.

She’d looked taken aback when he told her. He was ready for her to tell him that she couldn’t be around that, that he had to fix it before he considered dating. It had played a big part in ending his marriage, after all.

She had just looked at him for a few moments. “My assistant, Tiff, takes the key to my home liquor cabinet home with her whenever I start to get too stressed.” Her gaze slid down. “I started giving it to her once we’d gotten a little closer, and I’d told her about how I’d been well on my way to alcoholism before I was even old enough to drink. Joining the military made it worse. It peaked right after I got discharged. That whole clusterfuck tipped me over the edge and I ended up in the ER getting my stomach pumped after a particularly rough night of binge drinking.” She’d shrugged, offering a sad smile. “Started going to therapy after that. It helps. Having friends, too. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like for something like coke, but I imagine there’s some crossover in the reasoning behind it. I wanted to shut things out. The shit with my family. All the stuff while I was serving. Almost losing Syd.”

She had let out a sigh, holding one of his hands between hers. “Stopping it has taken more discipline than I ever thought I had. And I haven’t even gone full sober, but I have strict rules for myself. It starts to get easier though, when you find other, better habits to take its place.”

Frankie had run a hand through his hair. “How do you do that?”

A wrinkle appeared between her brows. “Do what?”

“Make me have some hope for myself that doesn’t feel like complete bullshit.”

She had brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “I’m just telling you the stuff that I’ve gone through and what I’ve learned in the years since then. We’ve all had our struggles. A little empathy only makes sense.”

He had pulled her up into his lap after that, sliding his arms around her and just holding her there for a long time.

He also occasionally worked up the courage to ask her specific questions about her job at the club. He’d made some effort to look things up online, but usually ended up feeling like everything went over his head.

“So, people call you Boss when you’re there?” he asked one night when they’d had pizza delivered to his apartment for a night in.

She nodded, sliding a slice of ham and pineapple onto her plate. “Yep. And outside of work, too, since it kinda becomes a habit, but that’s mostly the other staff. The Boss is kinda like a role I play while I’m there in general, and with a few of my regular clients that like that for private play. The suits are really nice,” she said, smiling.

“When you say regular clients, is that just people who stop by a lot?”

“It’s a repeat business. We have our regulars just like anywhere else, people that get what they’re looking for with a particular Dom on staff, or the people who pay for the membership so they can use the equipment in the open dungeons,” she said, shrugging as she took a bite of pizza.

Frankie set his beer on the coffee table and raised an eyebrow. “What kinds of stuff do your clients ask you to do for them?” The tips of his ears went a little warm when he realized what he might be asking about. “If you can even say. I guess most people wouldn’t want their... interests to be talked about with random people.”

She grinned. “You can say kinks. It’s not a bad word. And I’m happy to discuss clients in a very general way. I just don’t want to out anyone specific for what they like.”

He sat back into the couch. “So, what is the general stuff?”

“Well,” she began, “I’ve dealt with Daddy and Mommy kinks, a lot of bondage, nonsexual overstimulation, sensory deprivation, impact play, breath play. Degradation is a big one, as is praise. Sometimes, there’s a specific scenario that the client wants to explore, so that usually has some more involved roleplaying.”

He nodded along, eyes going a bit wide. “I know what some of those words mean,” he told her. “And you’re the one in charge every time? Like, you’re the one doing stuff, the tying up and name-calling and everything?”

“I am the Boss. So, yes.” She drew her legs up and tucked them under her. “But, despite the power play going on in a scene, the submissive always has a level of control over the situation because they can end it immediately and at any point. That’s what safewords are for, or alternatives when a sub can’t speak.”

“Right,” he said slowly. “And the club has its own safeword?”

She nodded through another bite.

He looked down at his own plate. “And you’re really into all of that?”

“Yeah. It’s why I made it my job. I mean, I’m not really into being called Mommy or Daddy myself, but I don’t mind it if it’s what the client wants. Kind of a loose roleplay.”

“So, you—” He had to clear his throat, glancing over at her. “You want to do that kind of stuff...to me?”

Nita looked over at him, studying his face before setting her plate on the table with a sigh. She scooted closer to him on the couch and set a hand on his knee. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want me to. We don’t have to do any of this and I’m certainly not going to force it on you. If you find yourself interested, we can try some things, but I’m not expecting you to get on board just because I am.” She leaned against him, taking his hand. “And considering the fact that we’ve only really made out at this point, I have no plans to start breaking out any crazy shit.”

Embarrassment burned in his chest. “Yeah, I’m—I’m sorry about that whole thing,” he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

She sat up a little higher to look at him, still partially leaning into his side. “Stop it. That isn’t something you ever need to apologize for. I am fully capable of enjoying time with you that doesn’t involve sex, Frankie.” She slid her arms around his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. “And I get to cuddle up with you regardless, so I’m only winning.”

He offered a half-hearted hum, but wrapped an arm around her to keep her tucked against him.

She squinted up at his profile. “Don’t make me start,” she warned.

“Start what?”

“You know what.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

“I’m gonna start, Frankie,” she said, pursing her lips at him.

“I don’t know what that means,” he insisted, holding his hands up, brows lifting in exasperation.

Nita brought a hand up to cup the side of his face. “So pretty.”

He frowned in confusion. “What?”

She leaned up and buried her face in his neck. “The most handsome,” she said.

“What’re you—”

“Very cozy. The sweetest ever. A ‘read me the whole phone book’ kind of voice.” She was smiling against his neck.

“Nita—”

She pulled herself up onto his lap, ignoring him. “Really soft hair. Nice laugh. Gorgeous eyes. A big-hearted goofball. The best smile. A goddamn adorable blush. Hands made to be held. Excellent kisser. Fellow bad movie lover. Super smart. Great at—”

“Okay!” he exclaimed, putting a hand over her mouth to make her stop, his face burning. “I get it! You don’t have to attack me with compliments.”

She beamed at him and pulled his hand away, poking his cheek. “See? A goddamn adorable blush.”

“Stop,” he groaned, leaning forward to hide his face in her hair while she laughed.

It seemed too soon to say anything, but he could feel it filling his chest whenever she was around.

~*~*~*~

Despite everything that had improved in the last month, he would still end up tormenting himself in the off times.

One morning, he woke up before sunrise. His apartment was dark and empty.

He should’ve pushed to leave more money behind before they ever took off.

Frankie ground the heels of his palms into his eyes as he sat up.

He should’ve found a better exit route.

Swinging his legs off the side of the bed, he stood up slowly, putting a hand on the nightstand for support.

He should’ve found a different place to land.

He shuffled into his bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on his face before he looked at himself in the mirror.

He’d shot first.

There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked pale. The lines in his face stood out, making him seem grim. Guilty.

He’d been willing to kill kids. Fucking kids.

It was his fault. He couldn’t stop drawing everything back to the mistakes he’d made, the risks he’d taken while they were there. They’d lost the money because of him. They’d crashed because of him. Tom was dead because of him.

He’d still be at home, watching his daughter grow up, if he hadn’t agreed to go in the first place.

He turned the faucet off and walked out of the bathroom, going straight for the dresser. Opening up the top drawer, he slid his hand to the back and grabbed the big Ziploc bag hidden under some old socks. He brought the whole thing with him as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

He popped open the bottle and headed into the living room, tossing the bag on the coffee table and sinking down onto the couch.

The little packets of white powder stared up at him as he sipped his beer.

~*~*~*~

Nita parked outside of Frankie’s building. She got out of the car, clipping her keyring to a belt loop, and grabbed her wallet and phone from the cup holder.

She jogged up to the main entrance, catching the door before it closed behind the person who walked in ahead of her.

They were going to try a new breakfast place downtown. They had agreed it would be easier to just meet up at his place and take one car from there, since it had become the norm for Nita to stay over until she had to get ready for work anyway.

When she reached the elevator, she hit the call button and sent Frankie a quick ‘on my way up’ text.

She looked up as the door opened with a ding and stepped inside, glancing down at her phone in anticipation of a short acknowledging response from him. She kept checking while she got off on his floor and up until she was in front of his door.

Shaking her head with a small smile, she knocked on the door. He had a habit of leaving his phone on the charger in his bedroom until the last minute.

She looked down the hallway as she waited for him to open the door. She waited and waited and waited.

There didn’t seem to be any movement on the other side.

She knocked harder, leaning toward the door with a frown. The TV was playing faintly from inside, but she couldn’t hear him moving around or talking. Nothing.

Looking down at her phone, she called him and brought it up to her ear.

She could hear it ringing from inside his apartment. It rang until his voicemail picked up.

Worry set in. He wouldn’t still be in the shower if they were supposed to meet up. His apartment wasn’t huge, he’d be able to hear her knocking or his phone ringing. He’d have told her if something came up, and he wouldn’t have left without his phone. Hell, his truck was still parked in the lot.

She tried knocking again.

When she still didn’t get a reply, she started shifting into panic mode. Awful scenarios played over in her mind.

Is this how Syd felt when he couldn’t get in touch with her?

That thought triggered a whole other scenario to play out. The night she had to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

And Frankie had told her about his issues with cocaine.

“No, no, no,” she whispered, twisting helplessly at the doorknob, “please, don’t be that.”

She was sprinting back down the hallway before she even realized what she was going to do. Her panicked footsteps echoed through the stairwell as she went back to the ground floor and burst out into the lobby.

She got to the front desk, gripping the edge of the counter as she looked at the clerk.

“I need a key for 306,” she told him, breathless.

He didn’t look up from his computer. “Do you have proof of residence?”

“I don’t live here. It’s my boyfriend’s apartment. Please, it’s urgent.”

He sighed, turning to her with a bored look. “I can’t give out keys without proof of residence or consent from a resident.”

She shook her head, panic giving way to her temper. “You don’t understand, this is an em—”

“I cannot give out keys without proof of residence or consent from a resident.”

Furious, she pulled a business card out of her wallet and threw it at the man. “Fucking bill me, then,” she snarled.

She was already back at the door for the stairway before he could shout an angry “Hey!”

Even taking the steps two at a time, it felt like forever before she reached the third floor. She ran down the hallway, pulse pounding in her ears as she returned to his door. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself quickly before slamming a foot into the door, right next to the knob.

She heard it crack a little, but it held, vibrating on its hinges with the force.

Kicking again, the cracking was louder and there was a dent where her foot hit.

A third kick made the doorframe splinter inward and she was able to shoulder the door open the rest of the way.

She saw him immediately.

He was laying limp on the living room floor, a trail of foam at the corner of his mouth. Three beer bottles sat on the coffee table, one laying on its side. She didn’t miss the shakily prepared lines of cocaine right next to the bottles, or that the amount of open packets scattered across the table meant that they were far from the first.

She ran over to him and crouched at his side, fingers seeking out the pulse at his neck.

It was fast, too fast, but that was better than nothing.

Pulling her phone out, she called for an ambulance immediately, trying to keep the shaking out of her voice as she answered their non-stop questions.

She stayed on the phone with the dispatcher until the paramedics were walking through the splintered doorway. How she must’ve looked then, petting his hair gently with trembling hands.

The questions started all over again as she went with them out to the ambulance. There was so much that she couldn’t answer and she just kept apologizing for that, even though they’d only known each other for little more than a month

She climbed in with them, wide eyed as they started placing stickers and wires all over him before sticking an IV in his arm.

They were throwing jargon back and forth between the questions that they asked her.

She felt like she was in a daze, listening to the rapid beeps of the machine monitoring his vitals, trying to pick through her memory for any traces of his medical history that might’ve come up in conversation.

Then, a dull, steady tone filled the space.

The world went white as the paramedic beside her got to his feet and started doing chest compressions.

She knew that they were all talking to one another, and maybe to her, but all she heard was that single long tone. Numbness crawled through her veins and she just stared at Frankie’s face. There wasn’t anything she could do in that situation and the helplessness was tearing her apart.

Her body jolted along with the momentum of the speeding ambulance, her elbow slamming into the wall hard enough to bruise at one point, but the only pain she felt was her chest constricting and the blurry sting behind her eyes.

Everything became too loud when the beeping resumed. The sudden ability to breathe again made her dizzy and she could feel tears falling down her face.

The paramedics waited a moment, scanning the monitor to ensure that things were returning to some semblance of normal, before the one beside her sat back down.

He gently nudged her arm and she realized that she was shaking. “Hey. We’ve got him,” he said softly.

She just nodded silently, not trusting her voice to work with the lump in her throat.

From that point on, she watched the monitor displaying his vitals, willing it all to stay steady throughout the rest of the drive.

When they got to the hospital, she wasn’t allowed to follow them back to his room. She wasn’t family.

Instead, a nurse led her out to the waiting room, where she sat stiffly in one of the cushioned chairs, not really sure what she was meant to be waiting for, nor how long that wait would be.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, staring blankly at the empty chair across from her, before a woman came through the main entrance.

Nita didn’t really notice her until she hurried up to the nurses’ station and said “I got a call about a patient. Francisco Morales?”

Nita looked up, finding a woman she’d seen a few glimpses of in older photos of Izzy that Frankie had shown her on his phone. Lana. She must’ve still been listed as his emergency contact.

She got up out of her chair as the nurse behind the desk took Lana’s ID and started typing away. As she got closer, she felt more uncertain as to what she would even say.

Lana was about average height, which meant she was taller than Nita, and seemed to be a few years younger, maybe mid to late thirties. She was pretty, a warm complexion and dark hair that was pulled away from her face in a low ponytail. She glanced up when Nita stopped a few feet away.

“Hi,” Nita said, giving a small, polite smile. “You’re Lana, right?” She caught the look of slight confusion as Lana studied her face, clearly trying to place it. “We’ve never met. I’m Nita, I came here with Frankie.”

Realization spread over her features and she held out a hand, which Nita shook. “I didn’t know he was seeing someone.”

Nita shrugged, a part of her hoping she didn’t look as wrecked as she still felt. “It’s only been a little over a month, so I’m not surprised.”

Lana’s eyes widened. “A month? And you’re already having to come to the hospital?” She leaned closer, voice lowering. “Tell me it wasn’t the coke. They just told me to come in, they didn’t tell me what was wrong. Did he overdose?”

She pressed her lips tight, head filling with that long, dull tone as she gave a small nod. “I found him. We were supposed to meet up before grabbing breakfast.”

“I’m sorry,” Lana said sincerely. Then, she frowned slightly. “What are you doing out here? Are they not allowing visitors?”

Nita shook her head. “Family only.” She gestured vaguely to Lana. “Or emergency contacts.”

“Ms. Torres,” said the nurse, holding out Lana’s ID. “Someone will be by in a minute to bring you back.”

Lana took the card, still frowning as she looked at Nita, before she turned to the nurse. “Can I bring her back with me?”

Nita’s eyes widen a bit in surprise, gaze shifting between Lana and the nurse.

The nurse looked to Nita. “Do you have an ID with you?”

She was quick to slip her license out of her wallet and hand it over, nodding her thanks to Lana who just gave a small smile.

A nurse appeared from the set of automatic doors next to the desk as Nita was being handed her license back.

“You’re here for Mr. Morales?” he asked.

Both women nodded and he gestured for them to follow.

Nita tensed as soon as they left the waiting room, skin crawling as they made their way down the featureless hall. It was always the smell that bothered her first, followed by the lighting and the hallways that felt awkwardly wide but also cramped. She’d never even been to this hospital, but the bland walls were full of bad memories.

“He’ll be asleep when you go in, and probably won’t wake up for a few hours while he detoxes,” the nurse was explaining. “We did have him awake a little while ago to check for any other possible issues, like a concussion since he was found on the ground. Nothing turned up, so that’s a good sign. It’s just down to having him rest and letting everything work it’s way out of his system. The plan right now is to keep him overnight, with the possibility of holding him another day for observation.” They stopped at a door and the nurse carefully pushed it open, letting Nita and Lana step through first. “If you need anything, you can go to the nurses’ station that’s a little further down this hall.” He then gestured back the direction they’d just come from. “We passed some vending machines on the way here. I know it’s almost lunch time, so if you want to get some snacks, those are an option. There’s also the cafeteria, but you might need to ask someone to show you the way if you want to get there.”

They each nodded along with his words, thanking him before he slipped back out of the room. They were left to take in the sight of Frankie in the hospital bed as the room settled into silence.

He was pale, a thin sheen of sweat causing his hair to stick to his forehead and neck. His eyes seemed sunken, like this was the only sleep he’d gotten in a long time. The wide neck of the hospital gown was crooked and left his collarbones exposed, skin still gleaming with sweat. There were a few machines surrounding him, all just there to monitor his heart rate, oxygen levels, or blood pressure. He was still hooked up to an IV, the bag hanging on a stand nestled amongst the machines.

Nita was hit with a wave of nausea but she gritted her teeth, determined to fight it. He would be alright. There was no reason for her to start sliding back into panic.

Her throat tightened with the threat of tears anyway.

Lana walked over to one of the chairs in the room and sat down heavily, sighing as she ran her hands down her face. She looked to where Nita was still frozen in place. “Come sit. I don’t think there’ll be much for us to do until he wakes up,” she said gently, leaning back.

“Yeah,” she rasped, taking him in for a moment longer before tearing her gaze away and moving to join Lana.

~*~*~*~

His chest hurt. It felt like someone had knocked a baseball right into the center of it. Or maybe just hit him directly with a hard swing of the bat.

And the low beeping was making the pounding in his head even worse.

He heard people speaking, too low to make out, and something about their voices was...off.

Everything was too bright when he tried to open his eyes. It was like a light was shining right into his face. He forced his eyes to stay open, squinting against the light in the room and up at the TV playing on the wall across from him.

The voices.

He slowly registered that he was in a hospital room as he looked around. Something was wrong. He’d fucked something up. Done too much. His whole body felt like shit.

His gaze eventually landed on the figure sitting in a chair off to the side.

She was facing the TV, a bag of pretzels in her hand, not yet noticing that he was awake.

Confusion took hold of him. “Lana?”

She met his gaze with a start. “Hey,” she said, flustered. “You’re up.”

He shook his head. “What’re you—? But Izzy—?”

“Izzy is with my mom. The hospital called me down here,” she told him with a sigh. “You need to get your records updated, Frankie.”

He felt himself sink down into the bed. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t—” He swallowed hard, throat dry. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Lana stood up and folded her arms as she made her way over to the side of the bed. “I know you didn’t. I think the fact that you had plans this morning kinda saved you, actually.”

“Plans?” he asked with a slight frown.

And then there was the dread as he remembered.

“It’s Tuesday,” he said softly. “I was supposed to have breakfast with Nita.”

Lana nodded, looking down at her shoes. “She’s the one that found you.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, covering his face with his hands. “God fucking damn it.” He shut his eyes and let his hands fall back down. “I woke up so early, I didn’t even think about the day.”

“She’s been on edge the whole time I’ve been here, Frankie.” She looked up at him and her eyes were so full of emotion that it almost made him wince. “Don’t put her through this, alright? I know that you know it’s not fair. To anyone.”

He stared down at the end of the bed. “I know. I’m trying, but I just...” he trailed off with a sigh. “I’m trying.”

“Yeah,” she said, voice low and a bit strained as she let her gaze drop.

“And Nita’s here?” He tried to shift a little, sit up straighter, but pain twisted all along his rib cage and he was forced to slump back. Prepared to try again, he took a deep breath, only to discover that that alone reignited the pain. Teeth gritted, he focused on keeping his breathing even without over-expanding his lungs.

“She is. She went to grab a drink from the vending machine.”

He nodded slightly, a hand hovering over where the ache was worst. “Did something happen while I was out?” he ground out. “When I move, it’s like I’m getting kicked in the chest.”

Lana frowned and shook her head. “I don’t know. They said you were alright, aside from having to detox. You could call in a nurse,” she suggested.

They both turned to look when the door opened.

Nita slipped into the room, eyes widening as she saw Frankie. “Hi. How do you feel?” she asked, quickly moving to his side, a hand gently taking hold of his free one.

“Like shit,” he said, offering a dry grin. “Headache isn’t fun. And my chest is killing me, for some reason.”

Something in her expression shifted, the little smile that had been forming wavered. “They didn’t say your ribs were broken, but they’re probably pretty bruised.”

“Did I hit something? Or run into something?”

She shook her head and squeezed his hand, eyes too bright. “No. They, uh...They had to do chest compressions on the ride here.” He could see her jaw working as she shifted her weight. “You flatlined.”

He stared at her blankly, not sure he even wanted to fully process what she’d said.

“What?” Lana exclaimed.

Nita cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I would’ve said something earlier, but I couldn’t really think about it without—” She rocked back on her heels and pulled her hand away from him. “Hospitals bring back—” she started again before her jaw clenched. “I’m gonna go sit down.”

They watched her shuffle around the bed and slump down heavily into one of the chairs, hands covering her face. She was silent for a few moments before she looked back up at them.

“I haven’t been able to get the sound out of my head since I heard it, and hospitals bring back some very bad memories, so I’ve just been trying to avoid focusing on the details or thinking about anything that will make me nauseous.” She said it all very quickly, like she was trying to get it out before she could register her own words. “So, your ribs are probably bruised.”

Frankie looked up at the ceiling and almost wished that he was enough of a believer to pray, but he couldn’t get his thoughts organized enough to even try.

Lana slowly made her way over to the chairs and sat down next to Nita.

Things were pretty quiet after that.

~*~*~*~

The hospital released him two days later, taking that second day for observation to monitor the effects of the detox and the severity of his bruised ribs.

Nita was there from the very beginning of visiting hours each day, staying until the nurses had to practically force her to leave.

Lana left when visitation ended the day he was brought in so that she could pick Izzy up. She came back for an hour or two the next morning to check in, and a final time when they were letting him go.

Once Lana left and his papers were signed, he was wheeled out through the front doors and to the entrance of the parking garage by a nurse before getting up and walking the rest of the way to Nita’s car.

The drive to his apartment was overwhelmingly calm and it made him feel like everything inside him was utter chaos by comparison.

Upon making it to his building, the man at the front desk stopped them as soon as they walked in.

“You Morales? 306?” he asked Frankie.

His brow furrowed. “Yeah.”

The man held out a hand. “ID.”

Frankie just looked more confused as he pulled out his wallet and handed his license over.

The clerk leaned over his computer and checked the license against some information he pulled up on the monitor. Then, he straightened back up and returned the ID before handing Frankie a key. “For your new door,” he said, shooting a glare at Nita.

Frankie stared down at the key as they walked to the elevator. “New door? I didn’t know they were getting new doors.”

Nita pushed the call button and looked up at him. “They aren’t. I just kicked in your old one.”

His brows shot up and he nearly dropped the key. “You what?”

“They wouldn’t give me a key, so I had to kick my way in.”

He stared at her blankly for a few seconds. “I’m sorry you had to do that,” he said lowly.

She shrugged. “I just had to get to you. I was worried.”

He gazed down at her as they walked onto the elevator, eyes sweeping over her face. She looked tired. And it was his fault.

He was a little startled when he felt her fingers intertwine with his.

“I’m fine,” she assured him, voice quiet, “we’re focusing on making you feel better.”

Her thumb brushed the back of his hand.

He couldn’t help wondering if she knew just how much he didn’t deserve it, that little comforting gesture. Surely, there was enough evidence showing that she shouldn’t even bother with him. It had to be clear by that point that he was just in a permanent state of fucked up mess.

Neither of them said anything when they reached the third floor and walked down the hall.

He took note of the fresh coat of paint on the new doorframe and the knob that shone bright from lack of use.

When he walked inside, he felt a heaviness clinging to him, weighing his shoulders down. He hated how his first concern was the mess he’d left on the coffee table, and the confusion when he saw that there were no traces of it.

“I got rid of it while I was waiting for the ambulance,” Nita said as she walked into the kitchen and pulled herself up onto the counter. “I broke the door and there was no reason to leave it out for someone to find while you were gone.”

He just looked at her, a frown etched into his face. Shuffling into the kitchen, he leaned back against the counter across from her and let his gaze drop to the floor, body slumping as much as his ribs would allow.

Her eyes trailed over him with concern. “What are you thinking about?”

Crossing his arms, he shook his head. “The fact that I’m just a piece of shit, and that I can’t stop fucking things up for myself.” His eyes burned as he gestured toward her. “I mean, I fucking OD and you’re the one cleaning up after me. We’ve been together a few weeks and I’m already—” his voice cracked, “I’m already putting you through this kind of bullshit. This kind of stupid shit is the whole reason I’m divorced and now I’m throwing it at you too. And, on top of that, I feel guilty whenever I want you, which doesn’t even make sense and just makes me feel like a goddamn asshole because I know that I’m being fucking confusing but I can’t make it stop. I start to think about any bad memories or doubts and my first instinct is to fucking turn my brain off for a few hours because I’m too fucking stupid to figure out a halfway decent way to cope. I can’t trust myself.” He took his hat off and threw it across the counter, running a hand through his hair and down his face. “Now, I’m just ranting at you like a kid throwing a tantrum, as if you have anything to do with all of my bullshit,” he said, smiling bitterly to himself as his throat tightened. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in all this time I’ve been on my own and this is the shit that I pull.”

His jaw clenched as he folded his arms back tight across his chest and shifted his weight.

Nita slipped down off of the counter, crossing the kitchen and stopping in front of him.

“Look at me, Frankie,” she said softly, taking his face in her hands.

His eyes found hers reluctantly.

“There are some things I’m about to say. A lot of it, you already know, but sometimes you have to hear things out loud for them to click. And some of it won’t be very nice to hear. Okay?”

He offered a small nod.

She took a deep breath, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks. “You aren’t married anymore, Frankie.”

He instantly tensed, trying to lean away, but she held him in place.

“You are divorced. You’ve been single for the better part of a year. Moving back into your old place isn’t really a possibility. You aren’t—”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Nita—”

“Hush. I’m not done.”

His shoulders sagged.

She studied him for a moment before continuing. “You aren’t cheating on anyone. You aren’t being unfaithful. You’re allowed to date. You can have sex with as many people as you want. You could go to a fucking orgy, if that’s what you want to do!”

He gave a strained laugh as she smiled at him.

“You don’t need to feel guilty whenever I rile you up. You’re allowed to enjoy being intimate with me. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It is perfectly alright to get a blowjob from the lady you met at the bar a few weeks ago. You know, the one who won’t shut up about how sexy you are.”

A smile curled at his mouth and he reached to give her hip a small squeeze.

She brushed a few strands of hair from his forehead, expression turning more serious. “You aren’t happy. You’re the sort of man that the world has chewed up and spit out too many times to count. And you bottle everything up. You lock everything up so tight that your only means of distraction is by forcing bad chemicals with the right effect into your brain so that everything stops hurting for a little while. I know you want to block out all of the shit that went down with you and your friends, but shoving it down isn’t helping anyone. Especially not you. You are an addict. And it’s killing you.”

She heard him take a shaky breath.

She swallowed hard, and leaned forward to press her forehead against his. “Your fucking heart stopped, Frankie.”

He let loose a sob, arms wrapping around her and pulling her close.

She hugged around his neck, hands clasped at his nape. “You need help. And you haven’t really done much to find it for yourself because you’ve become so fucking terrified of being a burden on the people around you. That’s a hard mindset to break out of, and I know it feels impossible sometimes. But people want to help. You are deserving of that help. And I’ll tell you that every fucking day until you believe it, and then I’ll keep telling you anyway.” She went up on her toes and hugged him tighter, face buried in the side of his neck as she tried to keep her voice from faltering with the tears that were rolling down to her chin. “There is a wonderful father who could talk for hours about how much he loves his daughter, and that little girl fucking deserves to have him at her side whenever she needs him.”

Frankie collapsed in on himself, ignoring the throbbing ache in his chest at the movement, shaking as he held onto her and they both cried. When his knees buckled beneath him, she helped him ease down so that they were sitting on the kitchen floor, wrapped up in each other.

They stayed there for a while, holding on as the sobs slowly quieted and the tears just turned into stiff trails on their faces.

Nita ran her fingers through his hair gently. “There’s that therapist that I go to,” she said, voice still rough. “Started seeing her back when the alcoholism was at its worst. The whole place specializes in addiction. First session is the hardest.”

“Okay,” he murmured.

She pressed a light kiss to his temple. “You can come stay with me for a while. I know you don’t like it here.”

He took a breath to say something, but she squeezed her arms around him tighter and continued

“It isn’t just when you’re alone here, Frankie. I’ve seen something in your eyes shut off when we walk in. It’s like...what this place represents in your mind. It breaks you down.”

He curled a strand of her hair around his finger absently. “Yeah,” he admitted.

She sat back enough to look at him. “Let’s pack a bag for you. I don’t care how much, just whatever you think you’ll need for the next few days. We can figure it out from there.”

He nodded lamely, clearing his throat. “Okay.”

She kissed his temple again. “We’ll stop by to pick your truck up tomorrow.”

He straightened, wincing slightly, and ran a hand down his face. “I can take it now.”

“No.”

He startled at the firmness in her voice. “Nita, I ca—”

“No,” she repeated. “I’m driving you to my house and you’re going to rest. We’ll get the truck tomorrow.” There was no room for argument.

He sat there, studying the set of her jaw and the steel in her eyes. “Alright,” he said finally.

She nodded once and stood up, offering him a hand. He took it and gritted his teeth as pain burned through his abdomen when he pulled himself up.

Resting her hands just above his elbows, she helped him steady himself. “Need to be careful with you for a while,” she said, voice light as she gave him a little smile. She rose up on her toes and pecked his cheek. “Let’s go pack you a bag.”

---------------------

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