#a nurse testing me for vertigo told me i have the worst case of motion sickness she ever saw
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“I don’t want to do this.”
“C’mon, you know weddings are fun! You’ll be fine.”
“It’s not the actual shindig that’s the issue; it’s the traveling four states over to get there. That drive is gonna take me like, twelve hours. Be glad you’re a borrower and don’t have to travel for cousins’ weddings.”
“Dude, you’re joking, right? Last year my brother had a destination wedding, two blocks down the street at that house with the big birdbath. It took me three weeks to travel there. I had to fight a CHIPMUNK.”
“Goddamn.”
“I wish I could have drove. The birdbath pool party reception ruled, though.”
“Oh, nice. Open bar?”
“Tinies don’t do that. It was Open Bottle. One open bottle of rum, and we were thriving.”
“Fuck yeah.”
#g/t#giant tiny#theres like three different punchlines i could have ended it on here but i just kept going#im going to a wedding this weekend which will be fun. BUT THE DRIVE 😭#a nurse testing me for vertigo told me i have the worst case of motion sickness she ever saw#and she worked there for like. thirty years.#me and long car rides do NOT mix#alcohol mention#tw alcohol mention#its going to be an extremely religious wedding too. my cousins follow a v rigid denomination#which i dont judge like believe what u want! but they are super traditional#im gonna walk in with my green hair and cunty dress and the inlaws r gonna throw rocks at me 😭#my mom asked me to wear leggings and a jacket to ‘avoid a family fight’#which if it was just ME affected then i wouldnt care. but i dont want my aunt to give my mom shit :/#anyways im bringing my weed pen so itll be okay 💖
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