#a moldy run dowm building with prison like bars bars on the windows and staff that isn't payed and supported enough to care
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god it's all so very shitty and there's nothing i can do about it.
#my dad still in the hospital and i think he's a bit better a bit less manic but who knows#he feels like a stranger again and i don't knoe how to talk to him (again)#and it would feel better if i knew that at least while he's in the hospital he's getting the proper care but no#i've been to visit him two times in my whole life and the conditions are absolutely horrible#a moldy run dowm building with prison like bars bars on the windows and staff that isn't payed and supported enough to care#they just drug people#but then it's not really safe for him to be with my sister and mom while he's manic cause he gets violent and can't hear no#and will steal from my moms wallet for cigarettes CAUSE HE'S MANIC AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE IN MANIA DO#so why doesn't he deserve to be in a safe warm and kind place where other patients don't steal his clothes#all these people deserve better#and when he eventually gets ''better'' then what he can't work he can't support himself but i feel my mother is done#i can't blame her either for not wanting to be married to him anymore cause it's frankly none of my business#and because it's something she probably wanted to do for a really long time but she doesn't want him to be left alone#sure he can go live with his brother and his family but i can only imagine the hate and anger they would show to my mom if she makes#that sort of decision#but i also want my dad to be his own person to be confident and strong#is that never going to happen?#i really fucking hate all of this
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