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floralkittygambler · 4 years

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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madisonrooney · 5 years

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i cannot STRESS enough how nuts this weekend is gonna be for me, in the best possible way

by no means is the the first weekend where ive had my fav things going on at the same time. like for gods sake i once met dove and saw jersey boys in the same damn day. but like...idk this is a different level.

meeting erich bergen is H U G E like i have to reiterate that. ive met nearly every celebrity i love since i moved to california, many of them multiple times, and ive now met nearly 400. but one of the highest people on that list is one of the people i couldnt cross off of it, until this week. ive seen him perform twice but only briefly. i thought maybe i could meet him after those performances but it didnt happen. but this is guaranteed meeting him. and ive had these tickets for four months so the fact that the day is finally here is...OOF.

like, we all know how much i love jersey boys. and ive met so many cast members of it. there are definitely still a few left that i havent met that id like to, yah, but none more than him. he was part of the movie which is where a lot of my love for it started, and hes like...my fav part of the movie. plus ive become invested in him beyond just jersey boys. also im lowkey glad im meeting him now as opposed to like 2 years ago cuz tbh im even deeper into jersey boys now. i was hype to meet john lloyd young but i dont think it was quite this bad. and that didnt really have to do with him, that just had to do with the fact that my obsession with the show still had to grow.

anyway. you have that ON ITS OWN. then we add DOVE to the mix. which, yknow, it doesnt matter how many times i see her, every single time is special. and the SETTING here is extra special. fan fest which was a blast last year, and they didnt even have descendants stuff then! you ADD descendants to it? its gonna be incredible. and its in disneyland. and a ton of my friends are coming. its like a mini d23. its one of the best possible settings to see her in, among doing other fun things and seeing other people. and like, every time i see her has always been precious to me, but ESPECIALLY post-mamma mia, cuz from then on its been so uncertain when id see her next, and there’d typically be a few months in between each time.

and honestly? every time i see her gets MORE special, as if to start off with they werent already incredibly special. because we become so much closer. seeing her at clueless was EASILY one of my favorite interactions with her, incredibly long and intimate. so knowing im gonna see her with that being our last interaction? like you know its gonna be great. i was already looking forward to seeing her in london but then i found out like a month ago that in fact id get to see her two months sooner IN ADDITION to it like!!! it doesnt get much better than that!!!

(HOWEVER there are no necessary guarantees of me meeting or even seeing her so i have to be careful. i have a pretty airtight plan in place but again, no guarantee, just cuz thats how these events go. that aside tho...)

so like...i feel like this is far more than any other combo of my fav things happening at the same time. dove and jersey boys are my main two. thats established. so it would have to be combining them to be an optimal weekend for me, yah? theyve been combined more or less like 3 other times: when i saw the show and two days later saw her at a book signing, when i saw her at build and then saw the show that night, and when i saw the show and saw her in clueless the following day. the first time was great particularly cuz that was one of my fav times seeing the show, but there was still a day in between so it was a little different (there will be a day in between here, but itll be fun. this time it was me working on a final like all day lol). the second time was great and build was one of my fav times seeing her but i also went into it not knowing if id get to MEET her, so the hype wasnt there. there was also a snowstorm so i was high key panicking that i wouldnt make it to EITHER event. it was also pretty rushed so we didnt get to talk much (tho, again, it was still great overall). the third time would have to be the best just cuz of how special clueless was, and how that whole trip was building up to the final night which was clueless, and the fact that the last thing we did prior to it was see jersey boys, not to mention my boy aaron (frankie) and i connected again, and it was possibly the best cast id seen at new world stages.

i cant put this ahead of clueless. but the COMBINATION is different. bc as much as i love seeing the show, obviously, this is meeting someone ive never met before who ive been dying to, and seeing him in a solo show with great seats. and yes theres a day in between, but you know what im doing then? seeing endgame with my friends at the el capitan.

i had a fun easter in disneyland but now i have 3 days of mostly just school and id give anything for them to be done with now. send tweet.

#ramble a rooney #this is incredibly long and no one cares but i needed to get some thoughts out even if just for my own sake #(all good stuff tho!)

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howsit-going-toend · 7 years

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Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) Pt. 5

A Kwon Jiyong x Reader AU series featuring Kim Jiwon and Choi Seunghyun

Genre: Crime/Mafia/ANGST

Warnings: Swearing/Violence

Word count: 4,000+ (There’s A LOT going on here....)

Summary: You joined the police force years ago to help clean up the streets of Seoul and rid the city of organized crime. You’ve seen some shit. You’re surely prepared for anything…but how are you supposed to feel when the big bad crime boss you’ve been after turns out to be a familiar (to say the least) face?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The police force prepares you to handle and respond to just about anything; to be a master of balancing action/reaction in any scenario under limitless amounts of pressure. When you wear that badge, you should be ready to tackle whatever is thrown at you no matter what. In the four years you’d held your position, you’ve proven your capabilities through and through.

But the look on Jiwon’s face rendered you almost catatonic.

It was the look a child gives to a parent upon catching them stuffing their face with cookies that the child had left out for Santa Claus. It placed a massive weight on your chest that you would have done anything and gone anywhere to remove. You just sat there staring back at him, knowing it was impossible to take back the last three minutes. Your silence was enough of an answer for him.

His face left yours for no more than a second to recall the mixed company. There was an undeniable shift in the room’s tension as he offered Chief Kim a polite nod. “I apologize. Don’t let me interrupt.” His expression had softened. But it was a smile of his that you knew all too well. You knew exactly what he was thinking when he heard that name, and it ridded your heart with a massive amount of guilt to see him smile through it.

“Jiwon…” You began.

“Here.” He offered the paper bag out to you. “I got you breakfast from the food court. Let me know if you don’t like it and I’ll get you something else.” You couldn’t bring yourself to play along and respond.

The forced smile remained on his face as he bowed to Chief Kim before exiting the room once again. You continued to stare at the door, speechless, until your superior cleared his throat, returning to his own unanswered question.

You squeezed your eyes shut before looking back to him. “I’m sorry about that.” You muttered. “I know that it wasn’t on record anywhere in the basement. That’s because I saw him face to face…he was there when I was hurt…he gave the man the orders.” Your gaze fell to your right leg as you said those words.

Chief Kim shifted in his seat. “This is the first I’m hearing about this.”

“I know.” You paused, still unable to maintain eye contact as your heart and brain continued to wage their war against one another. “But it’s true.”

“You…know him?” He stated it as a fact more so than an actual question.

He sighed at your lack of response. “Y/N. I know I don’t need to remind you of the protocol that comes into play here. Personal connections to a case like this…it shouldn’t be allowed.” Your eyes shot up to meet his before he continued. “I don’t want to remove you from your position in this. Your qualifications and passion exceed damn near everyone, and you are a fantastic detective.” His stern look bore into you. “But I will not hesitate to shut this whole thing down.”

You shook your head. “No. No, Chief, I assure you I can do this. I’m just still shook up from what happened… I will get over it. I promise you.”

The look on his face oozed skepticism. You took a deep breath. “Yes I knew him… Once. That was a long time ago…Clearly, he is a different person.”

He took a minute to silently mull over your words before nodding his head. “All right…I do want to see where you take this case. I know what you are capable of, Y/N.” He paused for emphasis. “But the second I see this becoming an issue, I am putting an end to it. That goes for Seunghyun too. Do you understand?”

You returned a firm nod with zero hesitation.

Speaking to your superior helped reignite your desire to succeed. You silently reminded yourself to shake every ounce of emotion off and maintain your professional demeanor. At least on the surface. Despite how desperately you may wish otherwise, you know that you can’t change the past. You had a job to do and there was no time to waste on your feelings.

After all, you now had someone else’s to worry about.

The amount of anxiety that stayed bundled in your chest when Jiwon reentered the room was ungodly. The room was absolutely silent aside from your IV pump’s beeping and the sound his shoes made as they scuffed against the linoleum flooring. Once he took his place in the metal folding chair beside your bed, he grabbed your left hand and held it without a word. He didn’t even look at you. You watched him intently, feeling sweat slowly begin to bead at your hairline. The weight on your chest felt heavier and heavier as the minutes passed by.

He might as well have been screaming at you. Anything but this…aren’t YOU the one that got shot? What the hell do you have to feel guilty about right now? You had all intentions of telling him. You were going to…eventually.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

He uttered the words monotonously as he stared down at your fingers. It wasn’t what you’d wanted to hear but it was something. You sighed and nudged the untouched paper bag full of food.

“Yeah. I’ll eat some in a minute.” You offered a small smile despite the fact that he still hadn’t looked at you. He nodded his head slightly before silence fell on the room once again, putting a fast end to his attempt at a normal conversation.

The truth was, Jiwon never actually met Jiyong. Ever. There was a lot about you and Jiyong that he never even knew. Whether it was due to pent up insecurities, or jealousy…he knew enough to start countless fights. Even though you never really believed you did anything wrong or gave him any real reason to be mad at you, you apologized again and again, until it was all brought to an end years ago. It was Jiwon’s decision that Jiyong’s name was never to be spoken between the two of you ever again. Today, of course, had broken all of that.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

He brought his left hand up to his lips, which he kissed before gently lowering it to your right knee. His thumb slowly moved back and forth. You felt yourself relax slightly at the affectionate gesture, holding onto the hope that that subject had actually been left in the past, for good. His eyes lingered on your right leg protectively.

“So…that’s what he’s been doing all these years.”

Your warm expression fell. You should have known better.

Your responding silence made him look up at you and hold your hand a little tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to get us into this again… We finished that conversation a long time ago.” He forced a small grin that you did your best to match. Three years ago actually, but who’s counting?

“I just can’t believe this.” He let out a sigh and shook his head, bringing his eyes back to your leg. “That son of a bitch…”

Discomfort began to fill your chest again as you readjusted your hand in his. You didn’t know how he expected you to reply to any of this. Your mind had been filled with so much confusion; you were proud of yourself for even remembering how to blink. He muttered something to himself, but the room’s dead silence made it impossible for you to not hear him.

“He’ll get his soon...”

Your eyes widened reflexively. Without taking another second to think up an actual response, your face contorted into a wince. “Aish.”

Jiwon removed his left hand from its position with raised eyebrows. “Are you o-?”

You cut him off. “Will you get the nurse? I…I think this pain medication has worn off.”

One week later

“And so, ya know, that’s why I wanted to meet with you in person today. I wanted to be sure you heard it from me first.” Dongjoo folded his hands together. The young man said the words with enthusiasm but his eyes never stopped shifting anxiously between the two men seated across from him.

Jiyong said nothing. He merely tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, as if trying to convince himself that this really was the same man he’s known for years. The same man who, in the beginning, had appeared on his hands and knees quivering before Jiyong and begged like a dog for “just one more day.” Who had gladly “organized” thousands and thousands of dollars into his little tobacco shop at the drop of a hat, because he feared the name, G Dragon. Who’d answered any and every cop or government worker that grew the least bit suspicious, reading all his lines without missing a cue. There’s no way this was the same man who had just so confidently informed Jiyong that he’s decided to move his business to America, and would no longer require his men to “look after” him and his store.

After entertaining the thought for a minute, Jiyong raised his eyebrows in amusement and returned his gaze to the grill. Dongjoo’s smile faltered slightly. His eyes darted back to Jiyong’s partner, silently begging him to say something. Taehee offered no assistance, only staring back at the man with the same mute expression he’d been sporting all night. A small smile found its way to Jiyong’s face as he grabbed a set of tongs to rotate the beef. The loud sizzle it made helped to disguise the audible gulp from his, now former, business associate.

Jiyong continued to stare at the meat with watchful eyes as he brought his elbow to rest on the table, allowing the hand holding the tongs to support his chin. Dongjoo watched him closely, feeling the nervous sweat begin to bead at his forehead. A chill ran down his spine as Jiyong blinked before locking eyes with him once again; that same smile painted across his face.

“Well, that’s too bad.” Jiyong finally said, casually. “I’ve got to say, I’m a little disappointed.” He pointed the tongs at Dongjoo in a playful manner. “America doesn’t deserve your good business.”

Dongjoo burst out in an exaggerated laugh, making it clear he’d been holding his breath. “Oh come on now.”

“No, no, honestly.” Jiyong raised his eyebrows and nodded his head. “You come on; no one runs a tobacco shop over there like you do. No question.”

Dongjoo shrugged his shoulders and laughed again, visibly relaxing. “You’re making me blush. Enough, enough.”

“I think that’s ready.” Taehee interrupted and nodded to the beef.

“Oh here let me cut it.” Dongjoo began to reach for the scissors beside the grill, before Jiyong beat him to it.

“Oh no, please, allow me.” He grabbed the tool with his free hand. “This calls for a celebration. The least I can do is serve you some quality barbecue.” He grabbed the beef with the tongs and carefully eyeballed where to slice it.

“America…now that’s exciting.” He said with his eyes on the grill, lining up the scissors into position. “How’s the Mrs. feel about that?” Slice.

Dongjoo flinched at the sound, while furrowing his eyebrows at the unexpected personal question. “Oh uh.” Slice. “She’s ready for the change I think.” Slice. He laughed lightly.

“You think?” Slice. “Oh, you better know. Don’t want any issues being caused in the marriage because of this. Moving to another country is no small step.” Slice. “What about your daughter?”

Dongjoo laughed nervously once again. Slice. “She’s, uh, she’s excited.” Slice. “She’s only five so, you know, she doesn’t really have much of an opinion.” Slice. He reached up to scratch the back of his head uncomfortably. They’d never discussed his family before.

Jiyong smiled wider. “Ah, kids.” Slice. “They just go with whatever you say.” He looked up at Dongjoo and served him a few strips of beef. “They trust you.”

Dongjoo did an awful job at disguising his discomfort. He hesitated in bowing his head to accept the serving, and quickly averted his eyes to his plate. But Jiyong wasn’t done.

“When do you leave?”

Dongjoo looked up with his chopsticks still in his mouth, having just taken his first bite. “Huh?”

Jiyong was placing a few strips of beef on Taehee’s plate; he looked up to make brief eye contact with his partner before turning back to the nervous gentleman across from him. “I said when do you leave? For America?”

“Oh, ha…ha, in about a month.”

Jiyong raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, well why don’t we just ride this thing out for another month then?” He asked before taking a bite of his own serving. His eyes didn’t leave Dongjoo, who began to shift in his seat as he stared back down at his plate.

“I don’t, uh…you know, with moving and everything that goes into it, I won’t be really doing much business and just-.”

Jiyong cut off his word vomit with a laugh, waving his hand with a full mouth. “I’m fucking with you. Do what you gotta do.”

“Oh.” Dongjoo chuckled out of relief once again. “Thank you. I-… I appreciate that.”

The rest of the dinner didn’t get any more comfortable than that. Jiyong continued to eyeball Dongjoo, who continuously blotted the sweat on his forehead, which he insisted was due to his angle from the grill. Taehee continued to stare blankly between the two of them, only mildly confused, until they all got up to leave. Jiyong held the door open, and as Taehee passed, he grabbed him by the shoulder and muttered something under his breath. Taehee looked at his boss for just a moment, before nodding and walking outside.

Dongjoo walked a little too eagerly in the direction of his car, parked on the opposite side of the building. As he began to walk through the narrow alleyway to get there, he turned to bid a quick goodbye to the two men. “Thank you for everything, gentlemen. I wish you nothing but the best.” He made a hasty bow, which Jiyong and Taehee returned, before turning on his heels.

Just as he’d taken a single step towards the safety of his vehicle, he heard Jiyong’s voice once again. But this time it was closer. He turned around to see the crime boss walking towards him at a leisurely pace. “Now, now. What kind of a goodbye is that? We’ve been through a lot together, you and me. You’ve got to give me more respect than that, right?” As he arrived before him, Jiyong reached his right hand out with an honorable grin.

Dongjoo’s face flashed with worry before quickly covering it back up. “Oh, I’m sorry, GD. I just don’t want the wife to worry, you know? Of course, of course. I surely didn’t mean any disrespect.” He reached a clammy hand out to make contact with Jiyong’s. “No hard feelings?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

Just as Jiyong let out a small chuckle, Dongjoo’s eyes flashed to Taehee. He was standing behind Jiyong, far back by the alleyway entrance, with his back turned to both of them. It took him less than a second for Dongjoo to understand what was about to happen.

As he locked eyes with Jiyong, who was holding his now quivering hand with a firm grip, he had no time to think before his skull swung forward to collide with his own.

Dongjoo released the hand he’d use to shake Jiyong’s as he flung his head back in pain. “Fuck!” His vision was blurred while he tried to look forward, seeing four Jiyong’s coming towards him, each with darkened expressions and their right fists reeled back.

His nose shattered the minute Jiyong made contact, sending Dongjoo’s body immediately to the alley ground. His hands flew to his face as if trying to manually preserve whatever features that remained intact. He coughed and spat out dark blood that had rushed in from his nostrils. Jiyong stalked towards him slowly, like a lion playing with its dinner. Dongjoo’s vision was even hazier now, but his fight-or-flight instincts had kicked in full force, giving him the strength to turn over onto his stomach.

Just as he attempted to bring his arms and legs in to hoist himself up, Jiyong lowered his boot to the man’s ear, putting in just enough pressure to push his head against the pavement. Dongjoo let out a piercing groan. Placing more of his weight into that leg, Jiyong leaned down to get a little closer to his face. As Dongjoo’s exasperated breathing and whimpering for mercy got louder, Jiyong shushed him.

“You know… I expected more from you.” His tone was menacing. “I considered you a friend, really.” Dongjoo cried out, too terrified to even attempt to move. “America? Yeah, buddy?” Jiyong chuckled. “You and I both know that’s fucking bullshit. I just gave you chance after chance and you just continued to lie right to my fucking face.” Jiyong leaned forward and spat on the ground right by the man’s broken nose. “You want to know something? You really think the Yang brothers are going to protect you better than we can? That’s a riot. What did they tell you about me, huh? Who do you think we’ve been protecting you from? Huh?” Dongjoo only sobbed more, his body shaking as the “please, please, please”’s and “I’m so sorry”’s continued to flow from his mouth just as quickly as the blood ran from his nose. Jiyong sighed in frustration. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to kill you. No, that wouldn’t be right to do to a family man. Just know that I will never forget about this.” He lifted his boot and allowed the man to hoist himself up to his knees. Dongjoo coughed violently, simultaneously gasping for the air he’d been hoarding in his lungs.

Jiyong dug into his pocket and threw a handkerchief on the ground in front of him, along with some cash. Dongjoo flinched, recoiling his arms across his face before looking down to see the stitched piece of cloth and the paper bills. Trembling, he looked up to lock eyes with Jiyong, whose dark expression hadn’t changed for a second.

“Wipe yourself off and get that nose looked at. Don’t you go home to your wife and kid and let them see this pathetic sight.” Dongjoo only cried in response, to which Jiyong let out a sigh. “What? What are you still doing here? Go.”

He didn’t have to tell him twice. Dongjoo picked up the money, the handkerchief, and himself up off the ground and stumbled his bodyweight in the direction of the far parking lot. Jiyong waited for the sound of his whimpers to fade and be replaced by the sound of an engine before turning back towards Taehee. He approached the man and placed his hand on his shoulder once again. “All right. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Jesus, he did all that just now?”

Taehee nodded at his partner before taking another swig of the beer in his hand.

“Damn, he’s really not playing around these days...” Wonhae replied, ensuring to keep his voice down, knowing that Jiyong wasn’t far down from them at the bar.

Five men: Gyechul, Taehee, Wonhae, Gwangbok, and Jiyong, all sat side by side. The place was a favorite spot of theirs, which they frequently visited after a long day. It was old, secluded in the outer edges of Seoul, and run by people they knew like family. No other bar could be safer for clientele such as themselves.

“Weeell, we all know fucking why.”

Taehee and Wonhae looked over at their partner on their end of the bar, Gyechul, who’d already had his fair share of alcohol for the night. He was staring up at the little box television set with his mouth agape, intently watching the news. “Look! Look look look, there she is now. Pfffft.” He mumbled and pointed up towards the screen. The local news was broadcasting a story about a cop who’d been shot in a “gang related incident” and had “barely made it out alive.”

Gyechul let out a chuckle, muffled through his teeth. “Hey, look everyone we’re in a gang.”

Taehee spoke up in a firm tone. “Gyechul. Enough…Be smart.”

The man turned from the TV to laugh in Taehee’s direction mockingly. “Be smart…pfffft. If I was smart that night I woulda jus killed that cop…but noooo I was following orders.” He waved his hands in the air as he lazily dragged out each word.

“You’re not fucking killing anyone.”

Taehee closed his eyes in a wince, knowing this was bound to happen. He turned to the right to see their boss staring across the bar right through the three of them to Gyechul. Everyone went quiet.

Gyechul chuckled again. “Pffff, whatever you say boss. You see this?!” He pointed to the TV which now showed an old mugshot of his, displaying him as a wanted criminal. “Now we have this to deal with…the fucking news is after me.” He slurred.

“There would have been even worse news if I let you have ‘cop killer’ thrown on your record. I did you a fucking favor.” Jiyong said coldly, silently refusing to look at the TV.

Gyechul stared his boss down. “Ya know what? Fuck you GD. Fuck you and your favors.” He mumbled with his finger pointed in Jiyong’s direction. He pushed himself up into a standing position, slightly swaying back and forth. Jiyong closed his eyes and took a deep, annoyed, breath.

“Gyechul, stop. All right? Let’s get you some water.” Taehee attempted to intervene again.

“Hey, hey, I’m fine all right? It’s him who’s got the fucking problem.” He pointed at Jiyong again before letting out a drunken laugh. He then dramatically gasped and stared out into space. “P-p-put the gun down! This-this is my final warning! … Bang! AH!!” He flailed his arms in the air, falling against the bar while gripping his leg, and bursting out laughing. Jiyong wasn’t the slightest bit amused. The second he stood up, so did the other three men.

“GD, it’s ok. He’s just drunk. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying. We’ll take him somewhere to chill out.” Taehee and Gwangbok attempted to alleviate the situation while Wonhae grabbed his out of line partner by the shoulders.

“What? Do you think I look fucking worried?” Jiyong spat.

“Touchyyyyy.” Gyechul mused, poking his head around Wonhae’s to continue talking at Jiyong. “Ya know, I’ve never seen you like this over someone. Especially a fucking cop. What’s up with that?! Huh?” He yelled belligerently. Jiyong said nothing. He just stared at the bar while the other men continued to try to calm things down. But Gyechul wouldn’t listen. “You know…it’s almost like she’s that girl.”

Jiyong looked right at him.

“Gyechul, shut the fuck up!” Taehee yelled while Wonhae attempted to smack the man to shut up. But he persisted.

“Noooo, come on, you guys know the girl I mean. The one we all fucking know about but no one ever says anything about because GD will freak the fuck out on them.” He narrowed his eyes at Jiyong, who looked ready for slaughter. “It’s her isn’t it?” He chuckled. “She’s the only one that’ll make you so fucking soft like that.” He pointed to the TV. “Oh but…..” He grinned. “She doesn’t make all of you fucking soft.” He sneered before groping himself mockingly.

Jiyong was on his side of the bar in seconds, with his hands gripping his collar. Jiyong has always been a very stoic person, but right in that moment there was a raging fire in his eyes. The other three men nearly tackled them both to stop whatever was about to happen.

Taehee grabbed Jiyong and pulled him back while the other two men pulled Hyechul away. Jiyong’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath to steady himself. He took a second to close his eyes while he waited for Hyechul’s drunken slurs to pipe down. When they finally did, and it looked like their night at the bar had finally ended, Jiyong got up to leave.

“Hyechul.” He announced.

“Yeaah?” The man turned his head, barely able to maintain eye contact.

“You watch yourself.”

After arriving back at his private home, having had enough bullshit for one night, Jiyong poured him and Taehee both a glass of whiskey. Amongst his four major partners, Taehee was by far his closest and most trusted. He knew better than to push any further, in regards to Jiyong’s feelings, than just one simple question.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” Jiyong muttered, taking a pull from his glass.

Taehee nodded his head and paused for a minute to sip from his own. “Well… How about some music?”

Jiyong grinned and pointed at him before springing up and pacing towards his record collection. “Yes. What’re you feeling?”

“Anything.”

Jiyong was suddenly as giddy as a child. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets, sticking his tongue out slightly and narrowing his eyes as he looked closely at every title. As he began to feel overwhelmed by the amount of choices, Hyechul’s words from earlier made his mind wander back.

He gently began to flip through one of the older stacks of records he’d gotten from his parents’ house. He smiled sadly as he browsed through classic American tunes from Dion, to Chuck Berry, Frankie Valli, and even the Righteous Brothers. Every album had unique memories attached, but they all had one thing in common.

As he flipped past a Frank Sinatra vinyl, a small 45 popped out and nearly hit the floor. Upon saving it and flipping the cover over, a small gasp escaped his lips. It was a 7” Elvis Presley record with “Love Me Tender” and “Any Way You Want Me.” He wasted no time in putting it on and letting one of his most cherished memories return to him.

“Man, I love Elvis.” Taehee chimed in as the song began.

“Me too.” Jiyong smiled as he swayed in place, staring at the cover. A warmth filled his chest as he read the small words that had been handwritten on the front in white marker.

Love me tender, love me true. All my dreams, fulfilled

For my darling, I love you. And I always will

As he traced his fingers around the small heart that had been drawn by the last word, he was hit with an insane idea. In one second, he’d wiped the smile from his face and restored his stoic demeanor to look at Taehee.

“We’re not going over business right now, but I need you to do something for me.”

Taehee sat up straight and alert.

“Get me the address for Jungbu Police Station.”

#g dragon scenarios #kwon jiyong scenarios #bigbang scenarios #g dragon au #kwon jiyong au #bigbang au #g dragon fanfiction #kwon jiyong fanfiction #kwon jiyong angst #g dragon angst #kpop scenarios

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roommateofmyimagination-blog · 7 years

Text

Chapter 11: If i fits, i sits and it isnt where i want it to be.

✗ Adrian ✗

“Tell me about you. What else are you into besides photography?” Val spoke eruptly like i spooked him out of a thought.

Eyeing him quickly, I leaned back and crossed my ankles together under the table. “Music and drugs.” I said while crossing my arms over my chest.

“That it?” Val raised his eyebrows at me.

“Honestly thats about it.” I rolled my head to the side, cracking my neck a bit. “Music is something I was shown when i was young. I can play the guitar and piano. My mom wanted me and my siblings to be talented in different things but never pushed us to much except music. Sis can play the violin and harp, bro can do flute and violin as well.”

“Why both violin?” val asked, leaning on the table.

Shrugging a bit, “Dunno, they both just really like it. I never liked those things, guitar was the only string i could do, Piano was something i tried really hard to learn because mom really likes it and knows a bit. I wanted to share something with her.” I felt my lips twitch into a smile because of talking about my mom.

“You close to your mother?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

“Yeaaaaaaah.” I scratched the back of my head. “Im my mom’s kid. My siblings are just like my dad, look just like him, act like him a bit, talk like he does. Mostly my bro, hes a literal clone of my dad. Sis is a mix of dad with a feminine touch. Me, im a male version of my mom. Look just like her with my hair and eyes.” Val continued to just sit and stare at me with a stupid smile. “I pursued music as a major minor kinda deal cuz i wanna perform for her, and show the world i can sing and play instruments because she taught me, pushed me to it and is my biggest fan. Ill sing for her all time and what not.”

“Thats really sweet of you.” Val had a big smile on his face.

“Yeah.” I chuckled a bit. “The drugs were cuz…..” i slumped my shoulders down and stared at the table. “I did em just cuz i could.” I looked back up at val, “didnt wanna be that perfect kid like my siblings. Pissed me off that my father wanted to mold me to a perfect child.” I twirled my hair on my finger, “Soooo i did drugs, got in trouble a lot,....had dad save me from going to jail.” I started mumbling.

Marcus came back with our drinks with a smile and set them down on the table. “Are you both ready to order?” he looked between us, Val looked at me with a raised brow.

“Yes, please.” I answered and waited for him to pull out his notepad. “Can i get the Royal red robin. No tomato, egg hardset, and medium well please.”

“Can do sir!” Marcus wrote and turned to val with a smile.

“Can i please have the Whiskey river Burger with fries.” Val said with a smile and very sweetly.

“Alright! I’ll get that out as soon as i can.” Marcus smiled and left to place the order.

I stared at val with a confused smile. “You can eat all of that?”

“Of course!” He smiled happily.

“Damn i wonder what else you can fit in that mouth.’ I mumbled into my glass before i took a drink from it.

“Excuse me?” Val leaned in, “i didnt hear that.”

“Tell me what you seemed upset about earlier.” I set the glass back down on the table and stared at Val who then just put his mouth around his straw and stared at his glass. “Cmon, we’re roommates….and friends, you can tell me things and i wont judge.”

Val sat silently for a while longer after he let go of his straw. He leaned back and looked up at me. “So, um...who was the guy you were with earlier?”

“Who...guy i was…..” I stared at him confused for a second then it clicked. Demyan. He means demyan. Did he go out with Karim earlier today? I Looked down at the table for a second then back to him. “That was a friend of mine, i dont get to see him often, so when i ran into him today we just had lunch together and talked.”

“Friend from high school?” He asked, little upset in his voice.

“Yeah, he goes to a different school and busy with work and school.” I started twirling my hair a bit. Val looked a bit upset by it. “Yo.” I extended my hand to poke at his arm, “whats wrong, you seem upset.”

“It just….” he sighed heavily, not looking at me or even my hand.

“I know, i come off as an asshole kinda.” I poked his arm again to make him look at me, and he did. “I dont hang out often, i dont hang out with my band members much either. Kinda a loner guy. The dude you saw me with was just a random meet up and hanging with him was something i dont do a lot.” I paused to see he was a bit hurt still, “and i know i dont hang out with you much and i come home late...a lot.” I put my hand on his wrist gently, “But i do like hangin’ with you, and i’m gonna try and not be a shitty roommate anymore.”

“You mean that?” Val asked quietly.

“Yeah man, i try not to break promises.” I smiled at him. Val finally smiled back at me and nodded. Slapping my hand on his neck lightly and pushing on his cheek a bit, “thats the cupcake i know.” I chuckled and took my hand off his face, “it does hurt to see you sad, you’re like a sad puppy and it breaks my heart.”

“Im not a sad puppy, im a fierce kitten!” Val sat up straight and looked very proud of himself.

Staring at him for just a moment, i started laughing and put my forehead on my forearms which were on the table. “The fact that you said kitten makes it better. Doesnt matter what you are, you’re the cute baby version of said animal.” I spoke through giggles then started laughing even more that I covered my head with my arms.

I looked back up to see him have a very displeased look on his face. His brows were together and his cheeks were puffed as he stared at me with displeasure. I started laughing again and this time accidentally snorting, which made me start laughing even harder and Val started laughing too at the fact that i snorted. I sat back up and put my elbow on the table and put my forehead in my hand, “Shut up you didnt hear that.”

Val made a long squeal like giggle and put his head on the table, “but it was funny! You snorted!” I sat back up and leaned back into his seat. “I didnt think a snort would come out of you when laughing.” he ran his hand under his eyes as he finished up laughing.

“Im only human after all, I can snort and make weird noises if i wanna.” I flipped my hair back over my shoulder. “So, tell me about yourself. Its only fair.”

“Okay, well…” He paused and straightened himself out, “you know I’m going for fashion and that I do yoga. I mean, clearly I’m not straight with how I dress. But, i’m not really very interesting, sorry.”

“Hm i just kinda thought you didnt care about gendered clothing.” I twirled my straw around in the glass.

“If it’s going to be hard being in the same room as me I can move into the spare room. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Val spoke softly, I looked up to see him fidgeting with something in his lap and a blush on his cheeks.

“Dude.” I said low, Val looking up at me with wide eyes. “I dont care what your sexuality is, I support all of it. You dont make me uncomfortable. One of my band members, she’s a lesbian. Joce as you can see is straight, my drummer is straight and my bass guitar is pansexual.” I smiled at him, “I dont hate on people for gender and sexuality. I only hate if i meet a person and they are a douchpickle or are acting like a fucking buttplug. Then imma kick their ass cuz i can.”

Val started giggling because of the insults i just used. He smiled happily at me, “thanks,Adri.”

“No problem cupcake.” I smiled back at him.

Marcus came back with two plates in his hand. “Whiskey river burger.” and set the plate down in front of Val, “aaand the Royal red robin for you.” he set my plate down in front of me. “Everything look good? Can i get you anything?” he asked with a smile.

“Im good, thanks.” I looked up at him.

“No, im good too,Thank you!” Val asid with a smile.

“Awesome! I’ll check back in a bit!” he smiled and walked off to check on other people.

“He seems like a nice guy.” I turned to see Val with his burger shoved in his mouth. He still had his mouth around the burger in his hands. Staring at me like a curious cat and his cheeks puffed out a bit, blinking slowly at me. Turning my head away, closing my eyes and covering my mouth and nose i started laughing again, my free hand pounded the table as i laughed. “Cupcake, hermegawd, you’re a chipmunk!”

Val took his bite and held his hand up to me so he could chew and not talk with his mouth full of food. “I was hungry, and didnt expect you to talk!” He blushed red and looked at me with a serious look. “And yes he seems like a nice guy and is good as a waiter.”

“I feel like ive seen him before.” I tossed a fry into my mouth, “Like he was at one of my concerts.”

“Where do you usually perform at anyways?” Val took a sip of his drink.

“Anything we can get really.” I tossed another fry in my mouth before speaking again. “We perform at bars, clubs, music fests sometimes if we can. We all do a bit of solo stuff sometimes. Well Harvey not so much, he sings yeah but hes our drummer so he doesnt solo drum places. Joce will dance or sing on her own sometimes, Desi will play guitar and sing as well. Asher i dunno if he does solo things. And i naturally perform alone sometimes because ill either just sing for who hires me, play guitar and sing, Play piano only or sing sometimes.”

“So you all arent an official band?” Val raised a brow at me as he munches on a fry.

“We are, and arent….” I stared at him with a questioning look. “We all love to perform together as a group, but sometimes we cant always meet up and do it cuz someone will have something going on. So we just do our own solo stuff sometimes.” I finally picked up my burger and took a huge ass bite out of it, kinda realizing too late that I took too much to chew.

“What all can you sing?” Val took another bite and swallowed after he chewed, “Like genre what can you sing.”

Holding up a fingering and swallowing hard,then taking a quick drink. “Lemme tell you what I cant do, cuz thats easier.” holding up one finger, “I cant do a song in a foreign language, so ill do it in english if i can.” Holding up two finger, “I dont do opera.” I continued to hold up a finger for what i listed, “Dont do metal or screamo.” I paused to think, “I dont do gospel type music. Aaaaaaaaaaaand i cant Rap...well enough to say i can do it.” I looked at my hand “So thats the five things i cant do.”

“You can do country?” Val asked with a raised brow.

“Aaaaaaaah, does it count if i can perform the song in a country style but not singing it in country format?” I asked holding my straw in my mouth.

Val giggled a bit, “no, it doesnt count.” before taking a bite of his burger.

“Damn, then six things…..No. Five point five, i think half kinda doing country counts.” I smirked at him and got a ‘really, seriously?’ look from Val. “yes im serious, i can sing a country song just not country-ish like….Dont judge me.” I pointed a finger at him before taking a bite of my burger.

Our dinner went really well and we had a lot of fun, or at least i had fun. Im guessing that all the giggles Val made means he had fun too. When Marcus came back with boxes, he asked if we wanted something for deserte. Both of us said yes. I got the Nana-nana moo-moo classic, and god i hate saying that name but its worth it, to go. Val ordered a classic chocolate to go as well. Marcus took the order and then went to go get those.

“We doing back to the dorm for the night after?” Val asked raising a brow at me.

“No, imma take you somewhere.” I smirked at him. Val looked at me with wide eyes and a slightly blush on his face,

We got our milkshakes a few minutes after. We paid, fighting back and forth who was gonna pay and ended up splitting it and both paying. When we got up, we passed by Joce and Gabe. I leaned down to give Joce a small pat on the back and waved her off with a peace sign. We saw Kane and his buddy Yori standing outside as well.

“You can get in the truck if you want, ill just take a quick smoke.” Kane had his hands up by his mouth.

“Its alright, I’ll wait.” Yori smiled at him, then turned to see us. “Oh hi again.” he still had a smile on his face.

“Wahzzup.” Kane said with his cigarette in his mouth then took an Inhale and looked away from all of us to blow it out. “Fun date?” He asked with a smile, keeping the smoke away from the three of us.

“Wasn’t a date.” I said.

“It was fun.” Val said just right after me with a smile. “You’re polite about your smoking habit.”

“Thanks buttercup! I try to be courteous to people who dont like my nasty habit. Yori here doesnt like it, and imma assume you dont like it either. Half shave here i know smokes so he doesnt mind.”

I saw Yori lean towards Val and mumble, “I don’t like it because i get asthma attacks from too heavy of a smoke cloud.”

Val smiled softly at him before patting his back, “i’m sorry.”

“Half shave?” I looked at Kane with an offended look, “the fuck you wanna fight ya blondie?” I shoved him a bit with my hand.

“Naaah, its all good.” He laughed lightly. Kane took another quick swig off his and offered me his hand before blowing it out away from us.

“Nah im good thanks, i dunno whats been in your mouth.” I held up my hand and leaned away a bit. “Not a germ freak, but i really dont know whats been in yuor mouth dude.” I chuckled lightly.

“Thankfully today, nothing that comes out of a vehicle!” he laughed proudly. “But we should let you two have fun on your Not-a-date date.” He smiled before putting his smoke in the asht ray outside, hooking his arm around Yori. “lets go finish our date too!”

“Its not a date!” Yori complained and looked back at us, “it was nice meeting you!”

“You too!” Val waved back at them.

“Hey! Come to one of my shows coming up!” I yelled back at Kane.

“Text me when and where the fuck it is, ill try to come and ill bring Yori!” He held up a peace sign and went to the other side of the parking lot.

“You come with me.” I grabbed Val by the arm and walked to my truck.

Val hopped in and got his seatbelt on, “where are we going?” he asked turning to look at me.

“You’ll see.” I smirked at him and turned the truck on, backing out of the spot and going to turn out of the lot. “Its my favorite place to be.”

“I thought that was your bed?” He snickered to himself.

“Thats my Second favorite place!” I held up my finger.

Our trip was all but quiet. Val and i, mostly me, would sing along to whatever played on the radio. Val would occasionally randomly change the station to see if i could sing the song which I fucking good. He even found the fucking country station and i sang along to that. Getting so into the song, i made us swerv on accident. Val looked like a scared cat as he held onto the Oh-shit-handle. I laughed at his reactions, and tried to stay perfectly calm when driving. We got on a backroad and Val was looking out the windows at the open fields and the trees.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Almost there!” I smiled at him and patted his thigh. Turning onto a graveled path literally in the middle of know where. “Get out and follow me.” I patted his thigh again and got out. I waited of him on his side, holding my hand to him, “its dark and i dont want you to leave me. Gimme your hand.” Val looked at my hand and hesitantly took my hand in his. Holding his hand and dragging him behind me we walked through the dark woods. We didn’t talk at, the only noise around us was crunching leaves and the sounds of active night animals.I walked us out to a clearing when we got out of the trees and shrubbery, I looked back at him and Val was staring up at the clear sky filled with stars.

“Oh my god.” he said softly, “its beautiful here.”

“Yeah. Its also kinda in the mountains too.” I let go of his hand and walked further out. “This is a place i like to go to clear my head, singing and no one hear me, or break down if i need to.”

“Is that why its your favorite place?” Val asked, standing beside me.

“Yeah.” I leaned down and sat on the grass, pulling Val down with me. “I came here for the first time when i ran from my home. Dad was pissed at me, mom was crying, and i wanted out. Found here, and ive been coming here ever since.”

“What did you do?” He turned to face me.

“First time i was ever stoned out of my fucking mind.” I leaned forward, pressing my elbows to my knees. “Didnt wanna see my mom crying, didnt wanna know what dad would do, so ever since then, its just a place i find comfort in.”

“So why did you bring me?” Val asked, holding his feet in butterfly position.

“Thought it would be a good bonding moment.” I sighed, “thought you’d wanna see it, and it makes me feel calm for what im about to tell you.”

“Huh?” Val raised a brow and touched my arm, “something wrong?”

“No no, its just.” I sighed and laughed a bit. “I just think its kinda mean of me to keep something from you, when you’ve been so open with me.” I turned to look at Val, and he had the most confused worry look on his face. “Back at the restaurant, you came out to me.”

“Yeah.” he said low.

“Well, i tiptoed around it like an ass and didnt tell you, but Im gay too.” I smiled softly at him, “and it was eating at me that i didnt tell you when you told me, but i was scared to for some reason, like you’d think i was lying.”

Val was just staring at me like a cat. Fucking hate when he does that cuz i feel like he’s thinking im crazy or lying and it freaks me out with that stare. Val shifted onto his knees and leaned into me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pressing his chest to mine. “Thank you for telling me, it means a lot.” he said softly and sweetly. I felt my hands twitch lightly, do i hug him back? I dont know, how to hug him without it seeming weird, hes on his knees hugging me and his back is arched and i can see his ass. Val pulled away from me slightly and i think caught onto that i was a little nervous about this situation, “You’ve been touching my thighs one way or another, would it make you feel better if we sat here and you had a hand on my thigh?"

“Aaaah...uuuuh.” I started mumbling and blushing a bit. “i-i-i…..Yeah.” I mumbled lowl. GOD im a fucking weirdo! Why the fuck do i have this weird need to touch his damn thighs? This kid probably thinks im a freak. Val shifted back onto his butt and sat beside me, letting me place my hand on his thigh. I put my face into the palm of my hand and squeezed his thigh a bit, “Im really fucking sorry.”

“For?” He asked and i could feel him shift to lean forward and stare at me.

“This!” I squeezed his thigh and shook my hand a bit. “Ive never done this to anyone else, anditsmakingmefeellikeacreep but idonthateit.” I started to mumble and feel my face heat up more, so i tried to cover my face more with my hand.

Val’s whole body started shaking with erupted laughter. He leaned back to lay in the grass and covered his face with his laughing. I shifted to sit on my hip closest to him, shiting my hand further up his thigh a bit too high up actually and he started laughing even more, putting his hands up on my chest. “The fuck is so funny?” I asked leaning in closer to him and prop myself on my elbow.

“You’re tickling me!” he giggled, fidgeting beside me.

“How?!” I asked, “where am i tickling you?!”

“My thighs are ticklish!” He giggled louder. I looked down at my hand and slid my hand back down to where it was, sliding back up his thigh slowly and letting my nails drag across his skin, getting to close to his nether region yet again. “StaaaAAAAAHHHHP” he started laughing harder now, trying to roll away from me.

“How do you have ticklish thighs?! In one fucking spot cupcake?!” I asked, doing it yet again cuz it was kinda funny to see him squirm.

“I dont know!” He laughed and tears started to roll down his cheeks as he laughed.

I put my hands under his arms and started wiggling my fingers on his sides and up to under his arms. He erupted with more crazy laughter and started to roll around more. “You’re going to roll down a hill, cupcake!”

“Then stop tickling me!” He yelled at me through laughs.

“Naaaaah.” I swung my leg over his body and turned around to barely sit on his stomach and tickle his other thigh now. He started kicking at the air in front of me, yelling behind me and grabbing the back of my shirt. I wrapped my hands around to tickle the back of his knee and the back of his thigh. He sounded like he was crying and laughing at the same time now. Switching to his other leg i did the same thing.

“Adrian, ADRI STOOOOOAAAAAAHP PLEASE!” He cried as he laughed and was wiggling underneath me pulling at my shirt.

I looked back at him and dropped his thigh onto the grass. “Ill stop, kinda dont wanna be accused of murder.” I sat up a bit for Val to pull his legs out from under me and sit behind me.

He had his legs touching his chest and had his hands wrapped around his knees. “I feel violated and my stomach hurts now.” he puffed his cheeks at me.

“Thats what you get for being ticklish.” I smirked at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

“Keep that tongue in your mouth, boy.” i reached to grab at his tongue but Val leaned back and avoided my hand.

He launched himself forward at me, knocking my onto my back and sitting on top of my stomach. “Im going to return what you did to me!”

“Go for it, im not ticklish.” I chuckled with a cocky smirk on my face.

“Pssh, we’ll see if thats true!” He ran his hands along my sides and under my arms and pouted when i didnt even giggle. He tried to tickle my stomach and more so was embarrassed that he touched my abs then trying to tickle me.He spun around to have his back to me and tried to get a response out of me that way. He grumbled very angerly and placed his hands on my thighs. “You aren't tickle-ish.”

“Dunno you didnt try my feet.” I chuckled from behind him.

“Im not touching your feet!” He looked back at me with puffed out cheeks.

Shifting under him and pulling my thighs out from under him enough, i sat up and partially had val sitting in my lap. Leaning into his back, i put my cheek on the back of his head. I could feel Val was kinda tense under me. Keeping my hands behind him, I leaned forward, pushing him forward a bit as well. “Thanks.”

“For?” he asked, and lightened up his body a bit.

“For hearing me out.” I played with the rim of his shirt. “Means a lot.”

“Of course.” he looked back at me and smiled.

“Now, care to get off me?” I leaned off of him.

“Nope, if i fits i sits.” He chuckled wickedly to himself and made himself comfortable.

“Oh my god, you fucking cat.” I sighed and threw my head back.

“Meow hehehehehe” He continued his evil chuckles.

“I will kick your ass down this hill and to the car.” I groaned, leaning back onto my hands.

“No you wont.” He looked back at me with a cocky smile.

“Off my lap, or you’re rolling down this hill.” I said flatly.

“Nope, or im taking you with me!” I felt Val grab onto my jeans with a tight grip.

Grumbling, i took the clip out of his hair, watching his shiny red hair fall down and lay flat on his back. He looked so nice with his hair down and it looked so soft and silky too. “Off the lap or this clip gets thrown!”

“No!” He whined, “give it back!” he turned to look back at me, whipping his hair around over his shoulder at the process. When he saw i was holding the clip behind my back, he spun around and scooted up my lap and leaned into my chest trying to reach for it behind me.

Tensing up a bit and a small twitch of a smile on my lips, “Off my lap and i give it back, or if you stay on my lap start grinding and we’ll call it even.” I looked at Val who was practically laying on me tense up and watch his face go from white to bright red.

“You’re a wicked man….” he mumbled and stared at me with a slightly pissed look but mostly embarrassed.

“Hey, if you fit you sits.” I smirked and chuckled, “said it yourself. So either fits on the grass or fits on my dick and we have a outside quickie.” I growled playfully at him, watching his face get as bright red as his hair. Val pouted and swung his leg off my body and plopped down on the grass, looking away from me. Chuckling lightly, I took his hair and tried my best to have it the way he does his hair and clip it back up for him. “Sorry that was kinda mean.”

“No this is kinda mean.” Val leaned into me again, his face close to mine like he was going to kiss me. My body tensed up but started to lean back when Val shoved his hands into my chest, Yelling loudly I grabbed onto his leg and pulled him down with me. We tumbled down the hill together, me yelling the whole way down and Val was laughing.

I hit the bottom of the hill first and Val landed ontop of my chest. His thigh hit my crotch with some force that i grunted loudly, and in minor pain but mostly a little turned on from how close he was and his thigh touching my fucking dick.

“told ya I fits I sits, or in this case I lay on top of” He chuckled and sat up, his hair falling slightly out of his clip, and his hands on each side of my face.

“And i told ya. Ass on the grass, or ass grinding my my dick that your so kindly shoving your knee into.” I looked up at him with a slightly displeased face and i could feel my face heat up.

“Oh god i am so sorry!” he looked down between us and moved his thigh.

“No you arent.” I groaned, fuck i just wanna a quickie, i need sex now.

“You’re right, Im not.” He laughed and got up standing on his feet and fixing his hair. “We should head back” he started dusting off the grass and dirt on his body.

Groaning loudly, i got up and cleaned off my ass. “We good?” I turned around to show him my back.

“Mmmmmm?” Val purred a bit.

“Ass, check? Dirt gone?” I looked back at him.

“Yeah, oh yeah we’re good.” He smirked at me.

“Your ass in the car noooow.” I snapped and pointed, pulling out my keys from my pocket.

Val giggled and jogged to the direction we came from towards the car. He stood patiently at the door for me and waiting until i unlocked it for him to hop in. I hopped into the truck soon after and clicked my seatbelt.

“You do know showing me this place means you cant run from me now.” He smiled softly.

“Maybe i want you to find me.” I said softly and put the car in reverse. Val never said anything again the whole drive until we got back to the dorm.

“Wanna watch something before bed?” Val asked as he took his shoes off and set his things down.

“Sure.” I closed the door behind me, kicking my own shoes off. “I could do something else before bed too.” I mumbled low.

“Huh?” he looked back at me.

“Nothin!” I smiled.

“Well, you set something up, im changing my clothes, these have grass stains now.” he pulled at his shirt and walked to the bedroom.

“Aight, porno it is.” I cackled and sat on the sofa.

“NO SIR IT IS NOT!” He yelled back.

Laughing lightly to myself i plopped down on the sofa and flipped through on netflix for something good to watch. “Lilo and stitch good?!” I shouted back at him as he was changing.

“Yes!” He yelled back.

Selecting that and hitting Pause i waited for Val to emerge from the bedroom. His hair was now neatly clipped up in his usual style as he wore a loose crop top and the famous shorty shorts he usually paraded around in. “how about you go get changed.”

“Aight.” I walked around him and went to the bedroom to get a change of clothes. I grabbed a pair of worn out soft sweatpants to put on after i took my jeans off and a loose tshirt that hung low on my body. Changing quickly i walked out of the bedroom to see Val coming back with two drinks in his hands. “Whats in the cups?”

“Vodka.” He said flatly. I looked down at the cups and picked one up to sniff it. Val instantly started laughing and plopped his ass on the sofa. “Im not going to get us in trouble by having vodka on campus, and being underage. I didn’t think you’d believe me.” he giggled.

“Shut up before i pour this fake vodka down your short shorts.” I groaned and sat back down on the sofa.

Val took the remote and hit play. Curling up into himself, his feet tucked up under him as he leaned on the arm of the sofa he was on. I leaned back and put my hand behind my head and my other hand made lines up and down Val’s thighs.We didnt talk at all during the movie until i looked over and saw Val sleeping. He had slumped down in his spot and had his head resting on the arm as his knees were up at his chest. Sighing softly to myself, i turned the netflix off and got up. Picking Val up and taking him to the bedroom. I brought my foot up and pushed his covers back so i could put them over him as he slept. Setting him down on the mattress, i reached around and took his hair clip out of his hair and set it down on the nightstand by his bed. I grabbed the covers to pull them over him and let him sleep. But i looked at his very exposed thighs and had a wicked thought. Leaning down over the leg closest to me, i put my mouth on his inner thigh. Kissing softly to see if he would wake up, kid is a deep sleeper, so i dont think he’d wake up to this. Opening my mouth more, i bit some of the flesh on his thigh, sucking on it to leave a nice hickey for him to wake up to. Letting go with a slightly pop,i looked back up to see if val had woken up. Nope, kid was still sleeping soundly. Chuckling softly, i brought the covers over him to his shoulders and got off of his bed and walked out to turn all the lights off.

When i got to the living space, i turned off the lights and turned to see Aero sitting in the bedroom doorway staring at me. She just sat there with her tail swishing slowly and her head tilted. Walking up to her, i squatted down and held my hand out for her to sniff. She instantly put her face in my hand and leaned heavily into the palm of my hand. “You’re an odd kitty.” I whispered softly, and she instantly stopped rubbing her head in my hand and turned around and got onto Val’s bed with him like i just offended her. Getting off the floor i took my shirt off and tossed it on the floor beside my bed and flopped down onto my mattress.

My body still ached from my fight with Aj, and knowing tomorrow Demyan is going to make me practice with Pendragon or Takeshi. Groaning, i rolled onto my side facing away from Val. It also didnt help that i really wanted to masturbate, but being in a room with someone else kinda put me off from the idea of it, but god that Cupcake really made me wanna have sex. It’s been awhile since i had a FwB or a relationship after my last ex. Sighing heavily, i grabbed my pillow and brought it up over my head, pressing the pillow onto the side of my head. Should maybe go and try to find a fuck buddy...or ask the cupcake.

#Adrian Howell #OcStory #Magical boys #Valentine Hicks

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