#a mild fuck you to donna murphy yET AGAIN

[prozac-shaped-urn]

fosca screaming finally makes sense

fosca shut down emotionally. that's when she became 'ugly.' she stopped being vital and feeling alive. but she has a vivid inner life.

it's the exploration of someone who's been labelled unattractive but has this rich emotional life. who loves so fully and so completely, and who says things that are difficult to hear -- and you don't really want to hear what she has to say because she makes sense, she's saying it in circumstances that seem selfishly motivated on her part -- but she makes point.

she is emotionally unedited. she doesn't make choices based on what will seem attractive or palatable. she just is and lives and lets her emotions fly.

"i'm wanna crack you open" -- richard avedon to donna as fosca. if fosca had, over the years, been cracked open as much as donna was in that photo session, fosca wouldn't have been ill in the way that she was. when you sit on your feelings and don't allow a release, you can make yourself sick in many ways.

she's cONFRONTING THE FUCKING DEMONS -- ones inside herself and ones she envisions outside of herself, and society.

fosca has a primal scream inside of her. and it came out.

thANK YOU DONNA JEANNE MURPHY FOR PINPOINTING WHY I RELATE TO FOSCA SCREAMING