#a lot of how butch / femme is reduced and diluted is v v v white too

[ghostsandyoumightdie]

From a femme who saw so much familiarity in Harrow, and saw the femme in Harrow, thank you so much for such a thoughtful response on that post ridiculing people for interpreting Harrow as femme. We are a much more than our exterior aesthetics. We’re a community role. A relationship role. A gender performance that’s not just “50s housewife.” We can have complex and absolutely fucked relationships with gender too. Most femmes I have known do. It makes me so sad when the larger community things we’re just woman 2.0. It’s also deeply misogynistic to assume our gender is inherently just cis because… some of us like make up and to wear dresses? Basically patting us on the heads and saying “that’s nice dear. I guess you’re technically gay. ”

Anyways. Thank you for pushing back against it. So many other sapphics/wlw don’t understand us. And it hurts every time. Thank you for your deeper understanding on femme identity.

Thank you for the ask! I'm so glad it resonated. The topic is important to me because I used to be horrendously uninformed about the topic myself 2 or 3 years ago.

For years I thought I was butch because I cut my hair short and dressed a certain way, and was constantly stressed and awkward because (plot twist) I was out here equating butchness to aesthetic when it is so so so so much more than that.

I still have a lot to learn. I hope over time we all can be more widely educated about femme and butch identities. Our history is long, beautiful, and worth the time to learn about.