#a lady. old timey lady. but shes young in this pic

[yewwowsubmawine]

lady doodle

[pellicano-sanguino]

Still October, more vampire posts.

I have a bad habit of being unreasonably bitter about the fact that back in my days as a young vampire lover, vampire fiction wasn’t as popular as it is today. I know I shouldn’t be such a whinelord about it and be just happy that I get to enjoy the abundance of vampiric goodies now, better late than never. But every now and then I bump into a new book/movie/series/thing and my immediate reaction is “Little Pellicano would have loved this, man I missed out!”

I’ve complained about the scarcity of vampire fiction in my teens, but the pickings weren’t very great for vampire stuff for kids either. There were some vampire characters written for a child audience but most of them were vampires in name only, being really watered down and tamed “kid friendly” versions of the creatures of the night (I tip my hat at Angela Sommer-Bodenburg, she had the guts to have her vampires actually drink blood), and they were drawn as ugly, “cute” caricatyres.

However, the vampires in my imagination weren’t some cutesy, cartoony gremlins that drink tomato juice. They were graceful and regal and mysterious, clad in ornate old timey costumes and silently sneaking around the candle-lit corridors of old, haunted castles. 

To make this image of beautiful and dangerous noble vampires, I had to make them myself. One way to do this was to take colouring book pictures of princes and princesses and draw fangs on them and leave their skin uncoloured to give it the pale, bloodless look.

(my childhood colouring books were thrown away, this pic is from a book I coloured as a teen, to demonstrate how I turned princes and princesses into vampires.)

This was how it had to be done, because there weren’t any colouring books with vampires in them. But...   guess what I bumped into when looking for vampire books?

A vampire-themed colouring book full of vampires of the Graceful Mysterious Creature of the Night type that I had to resort to recolouring princesses to get to. Where was this when I was little?!? I’ve been robbed!

Let’s not judge the book by its covers, thought. The cover looks promising but the art could still be awful. So, let’s have a look at some of the pages.

Moping in the woods while showered in moonlight / crying for your donor. That’s a recurring theme in this book btw, vampires crying while embracing their donors. His (I think it’s a he, based on the eyebrows, though what do I know, it could be a vampiric Frida Kahlo) donor looks really bored, though. Like she wants to say “Food time now, angsting about the parasitic nature of vampirism later.”

Oh hi, Bela Lugosi! Long time, no see and such. Still got your trademark hand thing going on, I noticed. But there’s something...   kinda wonky about your hands, sorry to say. I don’t think that’s how your fingers are supposed to look like.

Ok, this one I genuinely like a lot. It’s beautiful and I adore the Mucha-like noodly hair.

Wolfman spies on a vampire lady spying on Skeletor. Layers within layers. Crystalballception.

Hello, Edward! Like your gloves. But what the hell did Bella drink and/or smoke, she looks drunk as a lord.

Speaking of drunk, the artist really shouldn’t draw faces looking directly at the viewer, because they often end up looking like, well, this. This is not regal, this is a drunken lady asking for a dance at the club while leaning on you to stay on her feet.

I know the scale-like pattern is probably just part of the altar-thingy behind her, but it kinda looks like it could come from under her dress and therefore make her a keatsian lamia. I coined the term “keatsian lamia” to differ the stupid sexy snake ladies from the lamias found in bestiaries (where they are four-legged scaly sphinx-like creatures), because I think Keats is to blame for people depicting lamias as serpent monsters (since the original myths about lamias don’t depict their monstrous body in detail, it’s been up to interpretations). I personally prefer bestiary lamias over keatsian ones, but I still like to imagine the vampire in this picture has a serpent tail, allowing us to have some variety by including a much rarer vampiric monster in the book.

I laid down over a brick wall among the blackberries and stared at people awkwardly while two birds of prey played with my jewelry. What did you do last weekend?

Wow. What a masterpiece. I can’t decide which detail I love most: the heraldic bats springing to life and escaping the boundaries of their coat-of-arms-prison or the donor tiptoeing like a freaking ballerina. I thought no blood drinking pose could top the awkward floaty blood drinking scene from Meg Tilly’s Carmilla, but this one? Even less functional.

Well, I’ll end this with another piece that I actually like. Very pretty couple. I told you, the vampires crying over their donors was going to be a thing.

Some of the art is a bit silly, but I would have loved a colouring book like this when I was younger. But you know what, who says colouring books are just for kids? I may end up colouring some of these cool blood drinkers and their lovely donors.

[smoothshift]

GT350 Roadtrip: 1 week, 9 states, 4400miles. Lengthy post, pics included. via /r/cars

GT350 Roadtrip: 1 week, 9 states, 4400miles. Lengthy post, pics included.

TLDR: It was a lengthy but short roadtrip. You're welcome.  

Ain't got no time for readin and stuff? I got you: http://ift.tt/2vmKRwc  

States visited: OR, WA, ID, MT, WY, CO, UT, AZ, NV  

Notable locations: Glacier National Park, Pike's Peak, Great Sand Dunes National Park, Zion National Park, Shelby Museum/Factory/Store  

I left San Francisco on Saturday 8/12 at 5:30AM. Returned Saturday 8/19 at 11:45PM. Following are the notes I took on the trip and recollections after. I hope you enjoy. I certainly did.  

Northern California: Nothing notable, I live here. Took 80 East to 505 North, later merging into 5 North. Met two guys with built-out BRZs in Suisun Valley; they were headed to a meet. Cars were tastefully modded and I favored the burnt orange and black wing combo car. Didn't talk long, but the burnt orange guy wanted to know if I was "driving the ecoboost?" Nah, this isn't the ecoboost. Those are good cars, though, and I envy the MPG.  

Oregon: Fast-forwarding to the land of "thou shalt not pump your own gas." Really weird but whatever, Oregon has the most beautiful semi-populated back country I've seen. Didn't find any technical driving roads but the long straights and gentle sweepers were nice. Fantastic ranches you guys have, btw, wow. When the sun hits the golden fields as you're blasting by and the horses look up ya think, huh. I can dig this. P.S. your speed limits are terrible, not updated since 1912 or some such.  

Washington: Ah, crossing the border with that feeling of anticipation, the wonder of sights unseen, the joy of... 2 KA bands and 1 laser hit. WTF Washington, nice welcome wagon you got there. But you're not done, no sir or ma'am. Pasco, WA, aka interchange city. So. Many. KA. Bands. And. 2. Laser. Hits. I get it, you need the revenue. But not from me. Motored along merrily on 90NE/E to Spokane, crossing into Idaho.  

Idaho: Coeur d'Alene. Wow. Amazing roads; long sweepers in the mountains, gentle and lengthy elevation changes and fantastic scenery. You win, Idaho.  

Montana: I'm on the way to Glacier National Park. 3 things of note in this state:  

1 - "Keep Right Except to Pass." I've seen posts about this on r/Cars and never really "got it", but now I do. Montananians have this down to a science and it works. Granted the population is sparse but its a model of managing traffic flow and speed. Consider me a full-time convert.  

2 - I pulled in to a rest stop on Highway 2; it was 11:30 at night and the area poorly lit. A family was setting up a giant tent on the grass; it was just them, me and a semi parked in the lot. Blacked out the car windows (sunscreen and blankets) and made myself cozy. 3AM and I'm suddenly awake, its time to visit the facilities and take care of urgent business. As I approach the men's room I hear a noise, it's a loud buzzing and a man's booming voice. Montana rest stops have speakers playing the weather report ("The weather in Big Fork was clear, and the wind was..."). This speaker was blown due to the loud volume setting. Creepy at 3AM, moreso with dim fluorescent lighting. Good news though: Bathroom is clean and I've got my choice of two stalls. I take the luxury stall aka the doublewide aka the handicapped version. Oh. Lock is broken. NP, I switch to the economy stall and run down the checklist. Door locks, check. Floor and seat clean, check. Enough TP to build an assnest on the seat, check. We're locked and loaded and I'm going in, Cap'n. Except for one thing: The lone bit of graffiti on the door. It read: "8/11. Let's %$# or at least piss on me. Tap foot." Imagine its 3AM and you're groggy with so few hours of sleep and that's me, mouth slightly open, brow furrowed with squinty eyes trying to comprehend this lonely missive of love and bodily fluids. First thought: Is it the 11th? No, ok good. Second: I'm the only one in here. Third: I no longer have the urge to do anything but GTFO; the creepy factor went from 3/10 to 10/10. Not that it mattered to the disembodied man's distorted voice; he continued belting out the weather report as I left a contrail of relief denied.  

3 - Glacier National Park. My first must-see destination and it was so worth it. Lovely, narrow roads albeit packed with appliance cars. On the West Glacier Road there's a spot to park and take a shuttle bus up. Not for me but it's a popular thing. Some tourists get bored waiting and attempt to hitchhike; as I rounded a curve I saw a hitchhiker sorta gently shove his (I presume) SO away and say loudly in his Brit accent, "I know what I'm about!" Hey brother. You're ok hitchhiking in a park, but don't do that anywhere else. Unless you like the song Goodbye Horses in which case have at it. Anyway, GNP: Pictures can't convey it well, nor can they convey the batshit crazy old lady driving a minty green Fiat ... Fiat uh, not the Abarth but the lower spec model. Old lady, her Fiat and personal GNP Formula 1. Like everyone else she'd pull over for pics, but when I saw her coming I got out of the way.  

Wyoming: Plains. Plains as far as the eye can fall asleep.. I kid. Beautiful state, really. Pulled over and listened to a thunderstorm slowly roar across the open land. Amazing, spiritual, awe-inspiring. Congrats, Wyomingians. All 3 of you.  

Colorado: Colorado is amazing, and as a California native I'm genetically predisposed to moving there. But don't worry, Coloradorians.. eh, Coloradori, F it, lets just go with Pot Smoking REI Junkies and Rednecks. As I was saying, I won't move there, ever. Not me. Nuh uh. Well. Not unless I get bored, or ... wait. Wait a second. Huh. Zillow says I can buy how many bedrooms, with how big a garage and a backyard that's spacious in a good neighborhood for how much? Hmmmm.  

Pike's Peak. You've heard about it. If you've not gone, go. Don't expect a Hill Climb though, the usual appliance cars and Lifted Lambos (trucks) clog the roads - although I did get lucky in spots, and did a Matt Farah a few times by making a gap on the straights. 14k elevation, no big deal, I've done that before in Ladakh (India, Himalaya foothills). Think again, that 14k kicked my ass. Just taking pictures of the car was wearing me out. While at the summit some lady hiked down (apparently there's a trail) and needed rescue, she simply could not climb up. I believe it.  

Great Sand Dunes National Park. Yep. It's sandy. The approach road (well outside of the park) is minimal to no traffic, you can go 10 mins without seeing a car. I may or may not have done a triple. Or as I call it, 25 MPH in Mexican school zone. Because I'd never do that in the US. Not me.  

Small towns. We all know its common for small towns to be speed traps. Colorado small towns take it to the next level. Its dark, I'm in BFE, and 1-2-3 small towns in a row: K Band, X Band, KA Band, no apparent falses. In one case the local popo followed me about 3 miles out of town. My very first police escort, I'm so proud.  

Montrose, CO. I'm a coffee nerd so this trip has been mostly hell. The hell of McD's coffee or worse, gas station coffee. Swill. So what makes Montrose, CO, special? La Zona Colona Coffee off Highway 550. You're going to pass it when heading to Silverton, so stop. Clean outside and in, tastefully done decor and, crucially, outstanding coffee with what seems to be an extra dose of caffeine. I suspect this because it wasn't long before I was road raging pretty hard, I mean come on. LANE CAMPERS RADKJEKEJREKJFDKJ gargle scream do nothing but wait to pass. Yep. Road raging. Best coffee I've ever had.  

Silverton,CO. Quaint, preserved old-timey Western town. They even have a steam train and stagecoach, actual ones that move along and make old-timey choo choo noises and whatever sounds horses make. Popular place.  

Highway 550 to Durango. Rounded a curve and a blond guy with man bun waved me down. He and his GF were stuck, older Toyota with a dead battery and as it turns out, bad alternator. I had a battery charger but no cables (ugh) so he plugged it to the battery and we waited. I suggested waving down a truck as those guys must have cables. Cars go by, no one stops or acknowledges his waving. Weird; he's young, good looking and dressed in Mountain Chic - I mean, he's not scary looking and its full daylight. Finally a red F150 stops, older guy with cables. He's a little sauced, not drunk but he's had a few. Engine turns over and I follow the Toyota couple a while, and it dies again. This happened 4x til we made it to the guy's house in Durango. On the last pullover the red F150 guy shows up again. "I wanna see how fast this Shelby can go," he says, slightly slurred, "It's ok, I party with the cops in Durango." This was just not gonna happen, Durango's not a little town with deserted roads and I didn't see any signs for open track night. I politely ignored him and we got the Toyota couple home, wished them luck and off I went.  

Utah: I dunno, it's Utah. Mostly impressed with the people vs. the places, although those are nice too.  

Four Corners. Not sure what I expected, maybe something grand to commemorate 4 state borders, maybe some good dining and driving roads. Nope. You get a short dusty road (fine, its the arid desert), a $5 entry fee, signs saying cremated remains cannot be spread here (huh, who, why?), vendors selling Navajo-themed jewelry and stuff and that thing. That thing set in concrete marking the celebration of 4 state borders meeting. I was done before I got there and was walking back to the car when I saw her. No, not the love of my life. Rather a woman wearing an awesome tshirt which just then struck me as hilarious. Pic taken. Nice lady, she was a riot. She liked the GT350 too.  

Zion National Park. 105 degrees. Two European guys driving below the speed limit in a rental Focus. I get it, you're here to see the sights. But uh, pull over. Thanks bye.  

Kanab: Nothing notable here other than I stayed in the Quality Inn's "suite." But there was one cool encounter at the local car wash (I detail my car religiously): Mr. Walker with his 1965 Thunderbird. OMG. Maroon paint, black leather interior, dusty engine. Overall excellent shape (driving condition, not concours) and he's the second owner with all maintenance records from new. Mr. Walker liked the Shelby and had a lot of questions; I had just as many for him. He showed his car and apologized for being unable to wipe down the front and rear chrome due to his age. Not a problem, yours truly wiped it down for him and it was a pleasure doing so. What a car. Tip of the cap to you, sir.  

Nevada AKA Las Vegas: Stopped to visit the Shelby Factory, Museum and Shop. The shop is the first thing you see once inside and lemme tell ya. Need a Shelby leather coat? They got you, Holmes. Socks, tshirts, bottle opener, model car, hat, travel mug, earrings, key chain? No problemo. I made a dad joke (tm, not an actual dad) after buying some shirts: So uh, you guys have everything, literally everything for sale, don't you? Sales lady: (thinking FFS not this again): Yes, we do. Me: Great, I'm in the market for a new fridge. Sales lady: Points to her left and there it is, a I-kid-you-not-Shelby-branded-fridge. Joke's on me; abort abort mission failure RTB.  

Walked outside and there was an Aussie family sorta standing by my car. The dad went on about how much they liked it, and a US friend of his was considering buying one. Told him to tell his friend, yep, buy it.  

... And that's pretty much it. Went to SoCal but there's 2 kinds of SoCal: coastal (nice) and inland desert (less nice). At Barstow I couldn't take it anymore, GTA got crappy desert towns right. Connnected to 5 North and pulled over for gas: $3.89 for premium, the good ole welcome home price. Drove 6 hours north to SF, woke up the GF and flopped right into bed. Best parts about coming home: GF reunion, Game of Thrones and 7 hours detailing the car. Still haven't got all the bug bits off the grille.  

Random stats:

23.1 MPG

Cheapest gas / Premium: $2.48 (Wyoming, Ethanol blend)

Oil consumption: 2 quarts

Breakdowns and flats: 0

Truck Stop Hookers Observed: 2

Drunk Drivers Observed: 1

Accidents seen (after the fact): 3

Road rage battles seen: 1 (SoCal. Of course)

Live deer: Too many (Montana, but especially Colorado)

Dead deer: 12 +