#a hate movement & it's not a good idea to blithely ignore that

[gailynovelry]

Two things can be true at once. Firstly, it's not "cringe" or shallow of you to like popular media properties. Secondly, deriving all of your media intake from well-known mega franchises will cause you to miss a wealth of excellent stories from the indie scene.

[officialleehadan]

Eyes of the Ocean

Anita watched Evan swim away, she walked over to quietly lean on the railing next to Eione. The young woman was regarding the water with a wistful expression on her pretty face. “He doesn’t need that snorkel anymore, does he?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Eione murmured, the glint of her eyes just shy of being human if you knew what to look for, and the slightest glitter of scales on her skin when she trailed her fingers in the water longingly. “The kiss takes a few days to wear off, but I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t find him fast enough to save him without it.”

She shifted from one foot to another like the deck was hot under her bare feet, but Anita knew better. Eione was itching to get into the water and she didn’t have time before Evan got back.

“He probably won’t even notice unless he almost drowns again in the next week. He’s a professional. I hope his luck isn’t actually that bad,” Anita teased her, as she always did when Eione had to kiss someone to get them out of a bad situation. “But hey, the kiss of a mermaid, there are worse ways to not die.”

“It’s not really supposed to be for saving people,” Eione stammered. She was a little shy, and her few relationships had all been with people who already knew what she was. “I—I just found him, I wasn’t even sure if he was alive, but his eyes were open a little and…”

“Sweetie, I don't think he would be mad that you used your superpowers to save his life.” Anita cut her off with a grin. “Besides, he’s cute and he likes you. You should say yes if he asks you out.”

Eione turned crimson to the collarbones and stammered something that was probably denial, but Anita wasn’t born yesterday, and she had been around for most of Eione’s romances, both male and female.

“You know, we haven’t had a cave death in a long time, thanks to you,” she added more gently and squeezed Eione’s shoulders. “Those sea caves kill people, but you’ve managed to find them so far, and even managed to avoid being seen while you were at it. Not easy.”

“Knowing the caves helps,” Eione admitted wryly. “And not needing to worry about carrying tanks the way you humans do, that helps too. There are places that are far too narrow for anyone wearing diving equipment.”

Anita chuckled wryly and let her go before she turned back to the steering console and the chest of drinks that sat next to it.

“You’re too modest. Want a juice?” she offered when she turned to dig in the cooler. She tossed Eione a can when she got a nod from her young friend. “I know you want to get in the water. I would ask you to go get me a lobster for dinner, but there’s not time before he gets back into eyeshot.”

“Give me a ride back to my place tonight and I’ll send you home with a good shellfish dinner,” Eione offered, settling on one of the benches with her juice in hand. “It’s on your way, and I have this morning’s catch in a net at home.”

Anita nodded agreeably. “You bring the seafood and I’ll make chowder for us both. I know that cave of yours is a little lacking in the cooking utensils department. You can spend the night at my place.”

The mermaid leaned over to dip her fingers in the water once more, admiring the ripples that trailed behind her small movements.

“That sounds good to me. I’ll just ride home with you and hunt there. My catch at home will keep. It’s still alive,” Eione murmured.  She nodded at the water. “Look, there he is. His gear should still be just inside the cave. I left it visible from the top, but he won't go down that far today. I made it look like it got hung up and the straps tore.”

Anita smiled. “That’s my girl,” she said, pleased. “It’s tough to keep the facts hidden, especially from someone who actually knows how those caves work.”

“He knows that something impossible happened,” Eione agreed softly. “And he’s right. He was dying of. I got to him just as he lost consciousness. He was still breathing, but only just. It made him receptive to the song.”

She shook her head ruefully and shoved her hair out of her eyes. “I suppose it’s a good thing he was mostly out already. He isn’t superstitious and he’s a good diver to get so far into the caves, even trapped like he was. I could have been in trouble if he got a clear look at me.”

Anita cocked her head. “That’s true enough. Which song did you use?”

The mermaids had a couple of different songs they could use. Mostly the local mermaids used them to communicate under water over long distances. There were others, too, with different effects on the listener.

“I used one to make him sleep,” Eione explained with another sigh that wasn’t quite human as it caught the breeze. Anita was long used to Eione’s little mermaid noises and ignored it. “He was nearly unconscious already and I needed him to stay that way until he was on land again. Bashing him over the head with a rock seemed like less a good idea.”

That made Anita burst out laughing.

“No, we don't survive that so good,” she grinned as she rummaged in her cooler again. “Getting hungry? I have sandwiches and chips, even a couple beers from the last time I saw Jakob.”

The mermaid made a face. “You keep your horrible fermented barley juice away from me.”

It was a long-standing joke between them. Eione had hated beer from her first taste and didn’t plan to ever have a second. Anita laughed and passed over a ham sandwich instead.

“If I know you, you haven’t eaten since this morning,” she said with long-held exasperation. It was hard to bring up a young mermaid when you weren’t one yourself. “You don’t eat enough to keep that body going with the work you do.”

Eione smiled. “Thank you for the sandwich,” she said. “And I did actually eat this morning.”

Anita cracked a smile as Eione took the sandwich and dug into it. "Not enough, I bet," she griped. “Did you at least eat before you went hunting?”

"While I was out,” the mermaid admitted. “I need to make a groceries run. I'm low on everything.”

The older woman sighed. “Don’t stock up. It won’t be long before you come to stay with me for storm season. I'll take you out or have Thomas do it. You know he loves talking to you.”

Thomas was another of the local fishermen. His grandson was dating Eione’s older cousin. Until he had spotted Eione, Thomas had had no idea that there was more than one mermaid near Andros Island.

“I may not even bother to go shopping,” Eione murmured thoughtfully. “If I come to stay in a day or two, I can hunt and buy my food at the market. It would save me the time.”

“There’s that also,” Anita agreed. “And Thomas is really getting too old to go out and play with the Shoal. I know a few of your outliers still don’t really understand how fragile old humans can be.”

“True,” Eione admitted. “They've been getting so edgy lately; the summer storms will be rolling in soon. It makes us all jittery. Most of them are getting ready to leave for calmer weather.”

Anita shrugged. “Whenever you feel like moving in for storm season, your room is ready.” She assured her friend. “Just make sure to check your suitcase. I don’t want to find any dead snails in it this time.”

Eione giggled. “I’ll come in a day or two,” she promised. “And no more dead snails. I promise.”

“Good,” she said firmly. “Leave your suitcase with me this year. I can always drive it down to you when you need it next.”

The mermaid opened her mouth to agree, but closed it again when Evan hauled himself out of the water and into the boat. He grabbed for his towel and kicked off his flippers with the ease of long practice before speaking.

“I think it’s down there,” he said triumphantly. “I could see something that looked a lot like my rebreather at the bottom, hanging out of the cave.”

Anita grinned and handed him a towel. “Best news all day. Gonna rent some scuba gear, or do you have a set already?”

“Nah, I’ve got mine,” he told her, pulling off his gear and quickly rinsing it in fresh water from the bottle he had brought. “I have it back at the house. This is my backup mask; I hope I can find my old one. I liked it better. I still can’t figure out how it came off.”

“I’ve seen a mask get pulled off by the waves.”

Eione pulled a juice out of the cooler and offered it to Evan, beaming softly when he gave her a grateful smile. He popped it open and gulped half of it down before he set it aside. From beside his feet he pulled out the jug of water he brought and rinsed off his gear, ever the professional.

“Couldn’t have happened to me,” he told Anita, voice muffled as he dried his hair roughly with his towel. “If I was still breathing, and I had to be or I would already be dead, losing my mask should have killed me. I would have breathed water without it and my mouthpiece, and that’s gone too. That’s probably still attached to my rebreather. It’s not easy to detach.”

Evan slung the towel over his shoulder. His navy swimsuit was drying quickly under the hot sun, and he picked up his juice again. He drank it a little more slowly now that he had gotten the taste of salt out of his mouth.

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I just don’t know, and it’s driving me crazy. I know what couldn’t have happened, but I don’t know what did. Every scenario I come up with couldn’t possibly be right.”

“Well, something happened,” Anita said blithely, turning the ignition on her boat and getting them moving. Evan was right, of course.  It had taken Eione almost three hours to find him. Without her magic, he would have died and his body would have become part of the exhibit he dove for in the first place.

Anita stifled a knowing glance at Eione. Evan was a good man, but she was glad that the truth was so unbelievable. If he ever figured it out, the mermaids could be in a lot of trouble.

+++

HGE - Riptide

Evan Ross survived what no one before him ever has, and now he’s on the hunt for answers. His only clue is a single word that echoed through the water of a flooded cave.

Breathe.

Under Stone

White Sand Sky

The Hint of Answers

Drift to Home

Boats and Salt Wind

+++

More Stories!

+++

[lovinglohst]

I Wanna Dance With Somebody: Chapter 3- Betrayal of The Highest Order

Story Pairings: Boyf riends, Pinkberry, RichJake

Chapter Characters: Chloe Valentine, Jenna Rolan, Jeremy Heere, etc. 

Chapter Warnings: N/A

Story Summary: On the night of the Halloween Party, Michael is about halfway through having his infamous panic attack when Brooke comes tumbling into the bathroom, in the middle of her very own teenage angst. Michael lets her stay and the two sit in the bathtub and bond over their anger at their friends/super-mega-crushes. That’s when they get the idea to start fake dating to both get back at Jeremy and Chloe and win them over. Chaos, bonding, and gay ensue.

Authors’ Note: Chapter 3 isn’t to long, but Jeremy is finally Heere yAY - Aly and Nik

AO3 Link

Chloe

If there was one thing Chloe Valentine loved, it was gossip. And lucky for her, she had an in with the biggest gossip in the entire school. So when her phone chimed loudly in the silence of her room, she dove for it like a woman starved

JENNA ROLAN: O M G  CHLO ANSWER ME!

ME: WHATS UP??

ME: IS THERE ANY UPDATE ON RICH

JENNA ROLAN: NO NOT YET I GOT SMTH BETR

Chloe was practically vibrating on her bed, ready for more juicy gossip. Some part of her of bitterly wondered if whatever this was would be enough to get Brooke to actually answer her calls. She had even sent the girl the infamous smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw combo to no avail.

ME: WELL SPIT IT OUT ALREADY

JENNA ROLAN: [photo.jpeg] LOOK WHO I SAW GETTING COSY IN THE MALL JUST NOW

Chloe stared at the image numbly, her stomach churning with an ugly bitterness. In the photo was Brooke, sitting on the floor in the food court, cuddled up to some guy. Brooke’s face was lit up with a smile that made her entire face glow like a ray of sunshine, one that was pointed at the currently nameless boy next to her. Said boy’s head was half thrown back, the image Jenna got freezing the moment just before an obvious laugh could escape him.

ME: Who the fuck is that?

JENNA ROLAN: I THINK HIS NAME IS MICHAEL OR WHATEVER. HE’S KINDA A LOSER TBH SO IDK WHY THEY’RE TOGETHER

Her lips curled into a sneer, anger bubbling in her. Brooke was ignoring her calls so she could cuddle with some no-name loser?! What the fuck?!

ME: Are they still there?

JENNA ROLAN: NAH, THEY LEFT TOGETHER LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO.

Chloe stared at the screen for a moment before letting out a huff, tossing her phone to the other side of her bed. This was ridiculous. First Brooke decided dating Jeremy-suddenlycool- Heere was a great idea. Now she was going for some random guy just a day after breaking things off with Jeremy? Had she even officially broken things off with Jeremy? None of this made sense.  Chloe was the one who went through her boys like issues of Vogue. Not Brooke.

Chloe reached for her phone again, deciding it was better to take action than mope around over this problem. Brooke would just have to come to her senses the hard way.

As soon as she had the phone in her hand she found herself staring at the lock screen, where Brooke and her were smiling at the camera, cups of pinkberry visible in their hands. Suddenly the smile Brooke was brandishing seemed less vibrant than it always had. In comparison to the photo of her with that loser, she seemed a lot less...happy?

Chloe brushed it off with a sigh, quickly unlocking the phone and saving the picture of Michael and Brooke to her camera roll. After that her movements were automatic from many years of exposing the best of the school’s gossip. Sure, Jenna was the one who always found out the dirt, but she usually let Chloe do most of the spreading. Probably had to do with Chloe’s major twitter following.

As she began to type out a tweet with the image attached she hesitated momentarily. Brooke was already mad at her. Hell, even Chloe had been mad at herself when she woke up with a hangover and memories of nearly hooking up with Jeremy just to get back at Jake and Brooke. It was desperate and Chloe hated coming off as desperate.

It had gotten things done though. Jake was back to fawning over her for the most part, thoughts of Christine long forgotten. Brooke on the other hand…

Since when was she so unpredictable?

With a frustrated groan, Chloe pushed all the thoughts away, typing out the tweet blithely. She would deal with the fall out and she would make sure Brooke was back by her side by lunch tomorrow. She had to. Brooke was all she really had after all.

Chloe Valentine @chlovalentine • 1s

W O W! Congrats to @brookeislosht for scraping the LITERAL bottom of the barrel. #realclassy #soproud [photo.jpeg]

0 Comments  1 Retweet  7 Likes

She stared blankly at the tweet as it began to immediately collect likes and retweets, her phone beeping eagerly with each one. She was torn between feeling pride and disgust. Disgust, because here she was again, knowingly hurting her best friend. Pride because: she was good at this.

Somehow knowing that just seemed to cycle things right back into the disgust.

Chloe Valentine @chlovalentine • 3m

W O W! Congrats to @brookeislosht for scraping the LITERAL bottom of the barrel. #realclassy #soproud [photo.jpeg]

15 Comments  176 Retweets  344 Likes

Dust Kropp @dustinkroppp • 3m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

dAmn the nerd is getting it

0 Comments  2 Retweets  10 Likes

Lia Watson @watsonamelia • 3m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

Ew gross, I thought B had standards :///

0 Comments  1 Retweets  4 Likes

Nate Smith @thenatesmith • 3m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

So she gets with him but not me? Woooowww #offended #hatethisschool #transferingout  

0 Comments  8 Retweets  22 Likes

Yolanda Sitwell @yoyoyolanda • 3m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

I’m kinda digging it! They seem happy together!!!!

0 Comments  0 Retweets  1 Like

Jared Kruger @krugeriswatching • 2m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

I don’t approve.

0 Comments  0 Retweets  0 Likes

Lauren Rays @laurenrays • 2m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

Who’s the guy? He’s like totally hot????!!!!

1 Comment  6 Retweets  15 Likes

            Jenna Rolan @jenrolan • 2m

           Replying to @chloevalentine @brookeislohst and @laurenrays

           His name is Michael Mell ;)

           0 Comments  18 Retweets  46 Likes

Madeline Reynolds @thatfrenchgirl • 2m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

Looks like Brooke is growing some taste. He’s kinda out of her league though tbh

3 Comments  2 Retweets  10 Likes

           Joe Hubert @joeeehubert • 1m

           Replying to @chloevalentine @brookeislohst and @thatfrenchgirl

           no way. brooke is out of everyone’s league not the other way ‘round.

           0 Comments  0 Retweets  4 Likes

           Alexander Lewis @alexlewis • 1m

           Replying to @chloevalentine @brookeislohst and @thatfrenchgirl

           wonder if the nerd scored the way JakeyD did with you ;))

           0 Comments  1 Retweet  7 Likes

           Madeline Reynolds @thatfrenchgirl • 1m

           Replying to @chloevalentine @brookeislohst and @alexlewis

           Shut up.

           0 Comments  0 Retweets  1 Like

Jorge Saladbar @jorgesaladbar • 1m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

That Michael dude is  h o t

0 Comments  1 Retweet  4 Likes

Zoe Jefferson @zoejefferson • 1m

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

Can't believe she’s hanging out with that loser. Heard he’s a stoner :/

0 Comments  4 Retweets  13 Likes

Jeremy Heere @heereiam • 50s

Replying to @chloevalentine and @brookeislohst

???????????????????????$

1 Comment  0 Retweets  2 Likes

           Jeremy Heere @heereiam • 33s

           Replying to @chloevalentine @brookeislohst and @heereiam

           *?

           0 Comments  0 Retweets  0 Likes

<--- Chapter Two | Chapter Four --->

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 1782 Summary: Tobirama's plans to keep Madara in the village are obvious yet unexpected. Everyone sees it but no one believes it.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

Follow Me To Reward Or Ruin

Years of working and living so close to her two cousins had given Touka the ability to tell all of Hashirama’s many sighs apart from each other. The one she’d just heard drifting out of the storeroom she’d passed a moment ago was most definitely the I’m-very-worried-about-my-brother sigh and for a moment she wondered if it was worth getting herself involved. All sorts of wild shenanigans could be set in motion with just a teensy bit of curiosity in the wrong place.

With a sigh of her own, Touka turned her steps around and reached for the door of the storeroom. That was one of his more sincere sighs and it usually meant that something was actually wrong. If the matter wasn’t very serious he would probably have used his the-world-is-confusing-and-out-to-get-me sigh. Or maybe the it’s-for-your-own-good-I-swear sigh. Had it been either of those she wouldn’t have even considered stopping.

Hauling the door open, she found Hashirama wedged in to the far corner of the tiny little closet, his arms folded on the sill of the small window and his face morose as he stared down at something on the ground below. 

“Tell me what’s got your panties twisted,” she demanded with little finesse. Unfazed by her typical bluntness, Hashirama release a puff of air that shifted his fringe. 

“Something is wrong with Brother,” he said. “I can’t figure out what he’s trying to do but I’m worried that he’s hurting himself again.”

“Hurting himself?” 

Frowning, Touka marched over and squeezed herself in next to her cousin, blithely ignoring Hashirama’s squawk of protest as he was unceremoniously shoved aside. She looked out through the window and scanned the world outside until a clump of white hair caught her eye and she glared down at Tobirama, trying to guess at what the hell was going on. 

The first thing she noticed was how insane he looked with his hair all sticking up like that and she wondered if he’d even noticed. Second she noticed how oddly he was behaving. All of his body language was just slightly off, very unlike his usual poised self, as he strutted around a very uncomfortable looking Madara. The two of them appeared to be trading quips and insults – not all that uncommon – and Touka squashed her face up against the window while she stared harder, trying to decipher was Hashirama was talking about.

“Hurting himself how?” she asked because while he never deliberately meant to do it, there were a lot of ways Tobirama had hurt himself in the past. 

“I don’t think he’s sleeping and I’m pretty sure he had more than three pots of coffee before I even got up this morning. He’s got some kind of idea in his head and you know how he gets when he can’t put something down.”

Rather than reply Touka only nodded. She did know, all too well. Tobirama was well-known in their clan for his manic episodes when he seemed to stop functioning until he had worked through some problem or another. 

“Any idea what it is this time?” 

Hashirama shook his head beside her. “Only that it has something to do with Madara. Tobi just won’t leave him alone lately.”

Touka hummed and tilted her head, trying to think outside the box the way her younger cousin might. He always came up with crazy ideas that no one else would conceive of and so she challenged herself to think of the most out-there, nonsense reason she possibly could.

From up here it almost looked like Tobirama was flirting with the older man but she immediately dismissed the idea as soon as it entered her mind. Not a chance was that actually the case. He had to have something more important up his sleeve than seducing his greatest enemy. What possible reason could he had for that? It made no sense. No, she was just going to have to keep thinking and maybe watch him a little more closely until she had figured out what was going on. 

-

Madara prided himself on being a smart man, no matter what impression his temper gave to others. He was a better politician that many would think, a genius of battlefield tactics, and he could run circles around most of the mathematicians he had met, much to his own smug delight. 

The one area in which his intellect regularly failed him, the one area he desperately needed some insight on right now, was interpersonal relationships. He and Tobirama had hated each other right from the moment they met and nothing about that had changed in the handful of years since their two clans had finally made peace and started a village together. Now things were different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on. Something strange was happening between the two of them that he just couldn’t define and it bothered him every time they came face to face. 

Like now. Madara narrowed his eyes at Tobirama and turned the younger man’s last comment over inside his mind, picking it apart. He was certain there was some sort of innuendo meant there but whether he was being threatened or not remained to be seen.

“I’m sure this conversation would be much more satisfying for both of us if you would just say whatever it is you want from me,” he growled, tired of playing games. Tobirama’s lips quirked up in a smirk that was jagged around the edges. 

“So many things, Madara. I want so many things from you.” 

“Well then?”

“And, believe me, all of them would most definitely satisfy.” 

“You’re still making no sense.”

Madara strained to keep a lid on his temper as Tobirama laughed. The sound of it was low and rumbling, like rock sliding downhill in the distance, and he thought he should have found it much more grating than he did. Had Tobirama’s laugh always had such an oddly pleasant sound? What a strange thing to notice. 

“If you’re not going to make any sense then just leave me alone. I do have things I’m supposed to be doing; I can’t waste my entirely day wasting time here with you. Especially if you’re not going to say anything useful.” 

“You’ll come back though.” Tobirama’s body was moving strangely as he turned, not at all his usual prowling movements. “I always make sure to keep them coming back for more.” With that last confusing statement he walked away, hips swaying from side to side as though he were fighting to keep his balance. For whatever reason, Madara couldn’t stop watching. 

He could have tried to stop the other from leaving, yelled at him to stay and demanded that he confess more clearly what it was he was up to. Something inside him held him back from doing so, some half-formed thought in the back of his mind that told him he wasn’t really prepared to deal with whatever it was just yet. By the way he couldn’t seem to peel his eyes away from the subtle shifting under the hem of that ridiculous blue kimono shirt, Madara agreed with that half buried thought. Perhaps something was wrong with both of them. He must not be feeling well if he was accidentally staring at Tobirama’s rear. 

When he realized just how long he’d been standing there watching the other man walk away, Madara huffed and forced himself to stop, turning around and purposefully setting off in the direction he had originally meant to go. Tobirama and his strange behavior seemed to be on Madara’s mind a lot lately and that needed to stop. He shouldn’t be wasting so much time and energy on a bastard like that. 

It was just such an intriguing mystery, though. If he didn’t know better he would almost think that Tobirama was trying to seduce him. 

Good thing he knew better.

-

Jittering hands reached for the freshly brewed pot of coffee as soon as he entered his workshop and Tobirama gave a lusty sigh of satisfaction at the taste of his favorite drink. No one else brewed coffee just the way he liked it. 

After downing most of the cup in one go he refilled it and sunk down in to the seat at his work bench. Papers were strewn every which way, most of them covered in his own rushed handwriting. Without looking at it, he very carefully covered up the one paper filled with nothing but a drawing in his own hand which he would rather no one else stumble upon. It would ruin all of his carefully laid plans if anyone were to carry tales about this to the subject of said drawing.

He was so close he could practically taste it. Everything was going exactly how he had imagined it. By the end of the month he would have Uchiha Madara’s undivided attention and after that it would take very little to push him over the edge in to a physical relationship of some sort. Beyond that his plans were admittedly a little fuzzy but Tobirama knew himself well enough to know that when the time came he would be prepared for anything. 

What was important was that Madara seemed less flighty lately, less prone to dark silences when he would stare out the window with a thoughtful expression, his eyes scanning the horizon. Instead his thoughts appeared to be turned inward now, staying within the village borders where they should be. 

If only he had thought of this a long time ago Tobirama just knew he could have saved himself a lot of headaches and sleepless nights. No more would he have to worry about the safety of the village and the innocent people who had chosen to live here. No more would he have to worry about his poor brother’s heart breaking, losing the other half of his childhood dream. It no longer seemed imminent that Madara might abandon the village and everything they had all worked so hard to build.

Rubbing his hands together briefly, Tobirama reached for his coffee and drained half the cup again before setting it aside and taking up his pencil. Just because everything was going the way he wanted it to right now didn’t mean he should take it easy and stop planning for the future. There were a lot of “what ifs” he hadn’t made contingency plans for yet.

Falling back in to his plans with ease, Tobirama snickered to himself since there was no one else there to hear him. He almost couldn’t believe how easy it had been so far. He was a genius. An absolute genius. 

He should have thought to seduce Madara years ago. 

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/silly-stupid-suspicious-statement-season/

Silly-Stupid-Suspicious Statement Season

Sorry if this article offends some people, but… tough! You say it, suggest it, speak it in any way, and you own it, with all its attendant ignominy!

Perhaps the first salvo of this fusillade of folly came from the former U.S. ambassador to Armenia, Richard Mills. In his farewell interview, he made a number of observations. Some were quite reasonable, yet others, such as his reference to ceding land for peace in Artsakh and attributing the oligarchic-monopolistic economic system that came into existence in Armenia to the Turco-Azeri blockade were off-the-charts ridiculous.

But there were others, too. Some were overt, such as his endorsement of the Amulsar gold mine developed by Lydian International. He blithely ignored the projection that its toxic wastes will leach through the ground and end up in Lake Sevan in about a century, poisoning the most important body of water in the country.

Others were more subtle; silly-stupid-suspicious statements. Mills said that “the U.S. government sees Armenia as a friend in the region,” with a “strong relationship” and understands the “special relationship” with Russia, but also stating that the U.S. is “not expecting or pressing that Armenia veer away from” that relationship. Hmmm, sounds like a “the lady doth protest too much, methinks” kind of statement. Mills also credited civil society in the Republic of Armenia for successfully carrying out the uprising of last Spring, yet he also observes that assistance by the U.S. Embassy, the U.S. government, the EU and all of Armenia’s friends “who helped support and nurture civil society over the last 20 years did lay the groundwork and create the dialogue and discussion that ultimately led to the events of April-May.” Sound like he’s taking credit for the movement.

“Ultimately, what we want for Armenia is that it follow its own foreign policy” based on its being “a sovereign nation” and adding, “We just want to make sure that Armenia remains a sovereign country, free to make its own decisions.” All of this makes it sounds like he’s making these points to cover up that the reality is quite the opposite.

But Mills may have known what was coming and was trying to soften the blow of U.S. national security adviser John Bolton’s presumptuous, intrusive, and disruptive comments. In an interview with Radio Liberty, Bolton offered to sell U.S. arms to Armenia, intimated that Section 907 of the Freedom Support Act (which has largely prevented U.S. arms sales to Azerbaijan) might be dumped, all in the name of “preventing” regional instability through over-reliance on one major power (i.e. Russia). Plus, he was very strongly urged a quick resolution to the Artsakh issue and said he told Pashinyan that “the Trump administration will enforce U.S. sanctions against Tehran “very vigorously” and that that the Armenian-Iranian border is “going to be a significant issue.” The thread tying all this together is Bolton’s decades-long desire to start a war with Iran, or at least cause another “regime change” there. He figures if the Republic of Armenia’s reliance on the lifeline provided by its border with Iran is reduced/minimized, then Washington can squeeze Yerevan to go along with whatever is being cooked up against Iran. It’s also worth observing that a few days after Bolton’s arms sales offer, Sweden offered to sell 10 fighter jets to the RoA. Coincidence or coordination?

Bolton is a howling warmonger, and something of an embarrassment to the U.S., both now and during his service in the second Bush administration. His comments, proposals, and (not-so-subtle) suggestions in and to Yerevan fit his confrontational, brusque, and arrogant style. He must think Pashinyan mad if he believes the acting Prime Minister would take steps that would antagonize Russia.

Before moving to the U.S. for silly-stupid-suspicious statements (other than the obvious Trump ones which appear almost daily), there’s one more matter that is stirring things up in Yerevan, leading to much foolishness. There’s some kind of international LGBTQ conference planned for November, with rumors going around that it’s funded by Elton John as payback for his allegedly being disrespected during his visit to Yerevan last year. This has some people in a tizzy and calling for actions to counter such “anti-Armenian-national-values” and “anti-family-values” activities.

Spare me. What part of hating LGBTQ folks is a “national,” specifically Armenian, value? What kind of family values include domestic violence against wives and children? When will people learn that it’s no one else’s business what anyone does with their private parts. The only time these types of issues do, and rightly should, spill into the public realm is when the state intrudes into this otherwise private realm, requiring political action to remedy such intrusions. Stop this divisive and human and civil rights violating foolishness, Armenians and our homeland don’t need it. Just live and let live, enshrined in law.

It seems the RoA’s Culture Ministry has invited everyone to participate in a public discussion of the idea to rename Zvartnotz Airport after Charles Aznavour. Stop! The guy just died. Let his legacy be digested and then let’s start naming things in his honor. Separately, it seems tacky to me that in a country as small as Armenia, where pretty much everyone entering goes through the airport, should have its point of entry be named after a person. It just seems off, tacky. This is reminiscent of the renaming of National Airport in Washington, DC after Ronald Reagan, while he was still alive. I’ll also point to what happened to Burbank Airport, renamed after Bob Hope, and subsequently changed to “Hollywood Burbank Airport” in what strikes me as a bit of an insult to the noted actor. But might not the same happen to Aznavour?

Now, on to the U.S. It’s unfortunate that an Armenian running for congress feels the need to stoop to making ridiculous accusations against Armenians and Armenian organizations, just to draw some attention to his failing and flailing candidacy. This is done either directly by him or supporters, largely on Facebook. It’s degrading for him and embarrassing for our community since he is not a viable candidate and his incumbent opponent is Adam Schiff who has been extremely supportive of Armenian issues. While it’s laudable that he chose to run as a Republican in an overwhelmingly Democratic district keeping alive at least a semblance of a race and campaign of opposing ideas, at this point, Johnny Nalbandian is doing a disservice to himself, his congressional district, and the Armenian community at large.

The last silly-stupid-suspicious statement I’ll address appeared in the LA Times in a letter to the editor from an Armenian who lives just a little north of the 28th Congressional District discussed in the previous paragraph. In it, he belittles the plight of those in the caravan of Central American migrants wending their way to the U.S.-Mexico border. He “challenges” them to demonstrate their conditions are as woeful as those of our ancestors during the Genocide, as if suffering is a competition. Luckily, he received a fitting response from another reader a few days later. What that response did not include is a reference to the poem “American Colossus” (of which a friend reminded) by Emma Lazarus now mounted inside the Stature of Liberty’s pedestal which reads in part, “”Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me.”

Please help end this season of silly-stupid-suspicious statements by pushing back against them in all forms and forums. Speak up and denounce such damaging blather.

Garen Yegparian

Garen Yegparian is a fat, bald guy who has too much to say and do for his own good. So, you know he loves mouthing off weekly in the Weekly about anything he damn well pleases to write about that he can remotely tie in to things Armenian. He’s got a checkered past: principal of an Armenian school, project manager on a housing development, ANC-WR Executive Director, AYF Field worker (again on the left coast), Operations Director for a telecom startup, and a City of LA employee most recently (in three different departments so far). Plus, he’s got delusions of breaking into electoral politics, meanwhile participating in other aspects of it and making sure to stay in trouble.

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Source: https://armenianweekly.com/2018/11/07/silly-stupid-suspicious-statement-season/