#a handbook of disappointed fate

[aschenblumen]

Callar es un momento preliminar del no. Practicar el no hablar es practicar la inflexibilidad, más aún en una multitud. Cicerón escribió cum tacent, clamant –«al callar, gritan»– y tenía razón: nunca confundan el silencio con aceptación. Una habitación repleta de gente callada, que en otro caso hubiera estado alegre, mientras mira a una figura de autoridad, es silencio como sedimento de un no que recién empieza.

—Anne Boyer, «No» en Manual para un destino desencantado. Traducción de Rodrigo Olavarría y Adalber Salas Hernández.

[iphis24]

Sometimes our refusal is in our staying put. We perfect the loiter before we perfect the hustle.

Anne Boyer, "No", in A Handbook of Disappointed Fate

[clayloam]

"toward a provisional avant-garde" from a handbook of disappointed fate, anne boyer

[princessofmissouri]

What are a few of your favorite books? / writers

handbook of disappointed fate by anne boyer is something that’s absolutely worth reading, she is one of my favorites

any sophie calle book

i’m a big toni morrison fan

i love chris kraus too oops i love dick changed my life

play as it lays is my fav didion

i mainly read a lot of art/philosophy related texts i can maybe link them directly if that’s of interest idk

[darklordazalin]

Azalin reviews: Darklord Bluebeard

Domain: Blaustein Domain Formation: 643 BC Power Level: 💀 ⚫⚫⚫⚫ (1/5 skulls) Sources: Domains of Dread (2e), Darklords (2e), Ravenloft Player’s Handbook (3e), VRGTR (5e)

Bluebeard is the Darklord of Blaustein within the Sea of Sorrows. His tiny island is made up of his castle (creatively named “Bluebeard’s Castle”) and a single village. 

Bluebeard was an ugly yet charming man with enough wealth to offset his repugnant features. Nowadays, I don’t believe his blue facial hair would really amount to such disdain, but one never knows. Though even if his beard was a more “natural” color, it is his personality, or lack thereof, that most truly distain. 

Bluebeard is from an unknown land and who’s distrust and pettiness lead him to kill every single woman who agreed to marry him. Why did they keep on agreeing to marry someone who’s wives continually died or went missing? Well, he was said to be a kind and just ruler, which led many to overlook his otherwise glaring faults. How could such a seemingly benevolent lord murder all of his wives? I imagine that’s what his people asked one another as they heard screams echoing down from his castle…

Bluebeard would marry a young woman and expect absolute loyalty and obedience from them. Trust me, regardless of how powerful you may be, this is not a realistic expectation to have in one’s spouse. To test their obedience, after a month of marriage, Bluebeard would go on a trip and give his wife a number of keys that opened various doors in the castle. He told them they could go anywhere they wished, except a small room on the top floor of a tower. This room was locked with a golden key and he forbade his wife to go within.

Each woman he married let their curiosity win over their obedience and used the golden key to enter the room. What they found within was a room stained in blood and the dead bodies of Bluebeard’s previous wives suspended on hooks hanging from the ceiling. Though, I suppose his first wife just found an empty room. That must have been very disappointing, though preferable over what the other wives found. The golden key, when used to open the door to this room, became stained with blood. No one but Bluebeard could remove the stain.

Upon returning from his trip, Bluebeard would demand the keys from his wife and upon seeing the blood stain on the golden key, he would feign disappointment, kill his bride, and hang her in the room with the rest of his dead wives. After eight or so wives, Bluebeard was claimed by the Mists. 

Our tormentors were so kind to gift him with some of the most ridiculous boons. He is no longer exceedingly physically ugly, he can erase his misdeeds from the memories of his subjects, and every single one of those subjects, including his dead wives, are fanatically loyal to him. Now, this ability of his to change their minds only works on those native to Blaustien, so it is no where near my own abilities and something I managed to achieve on my own. Oh and he’s a living lie detector. Handy. I’d like to have him interview a certain vampire someday. 

At night, his wives freely roam his castle as spectres and show their husband their devotion, but he rebuffs them, disgusted with their undead forms. Now whenever Bluebeard courts a woman from Blaustien, they take on the appearance of one of his wives in their undead form, a smirk always upon their face. No one else sees this and it seems to only affect women native to Blaustien...which, naturally, leads Bluebeard to seek out wives in other realms, though their fate is always the same. A golden key, a room of dead brides, and another murder.  

In Van Richten’s new guide, Blaustien is no longer considered its own Domain and Bluebeard’s wives have overthrown him and entertain him with endless torment. Perhaps the Dark Powers decided the woman had suffered enough at his hands and it was now his turn to endure a true punishment? I would venture that none of his boons exist any longer. Perhaps they have transferred to his countless wives.

Despite all of the boons the Dark Powers once granted him, Bluebeard was always just a petty, distrustful, mortal man. A mere insect to be swatted away and a Darklord who cannot even control the Misty borders that surround his so-called Domain. I am reluctant to give him a single skull.

[can-u-bliss]

GETTING MY FIRST JOB

The overwhelming excitement I am feeling right now is beyond words. It is a testament to the hard work I have invested and the unwavering support from my friends and family that has led me to this incredible opportunity. Although my new job as a mediator at Science Gallery Bengaluru may not directly align with my field of study, I have a strong intuition that this experience will be immensely enriching.

Discovering this internship was a stroke of luck, thanks to my friend's sibling who pointed me in the right direction. Initially, I applied in February, filled with hope, only to receive the disappointing news that I had not made it past the first round. Nonetheless, I celebrated my friend's success as she advanced to the interview stage. Little did I know that fate had something else in store for me.

In May, my friend informed me about another round of applications. Initially hesitant, I heeded my mother's advice and decided to give it another shot. With the help of my friend and  her sister, my lackluster CV was transformed into a masterpiece. I am forever grateful for their talent and dedication, as my CV went from a 0 to a perfect 10.

Carefully answering the application questions, I sought guidance from my friend, who had successfully made it through. Even at the late hours of the night, she selflessly replied to my messages, and for that, I am deeply thankful. After meticulously reviewing, rechecking, and revising my application, I finally submitted it, hoping for the best.

A week later, the news arrived—I had been selected for an interview. Ecstatic doesn't even begin to describe the joy that consumed me. However, the interview coincided with my exams, leaving me with little time to prepare. I immersed myself in the handbook and watched two one-hour videos, dedicating an entire day to crafting my presentation. Despite my efforts, the interview itself turned out to be a disaster, leaving me disheartened and discouraged.

I decided to divert my focus towards my exams and temporarily forget about the outcome of the interview. It was during the celebrations of completing my first year, in a moment of pure impulse, that I checked my email, expecting a rejection letter. But to my astonishment, the email I received informed me that I had been selected! I was overwhelmed with happiness, unable to contain my smile.

Now, nearly 20 days later, I find myself holding the contract of my employment, which I eagerly signed. Throughout this journey, many individuals questioned the number of internships I was pursuing and wondered why I hadn't secured a job yet. I am proud that I did not allow these comments to affect me or my determination to succeed.

This blog post serves as a message to my future self, a reminder of my first major achievement as an 18-year-old. I want to remember the excitement, the persistence, and the belief in myself that propelled me forward. This is just the beginning, and I am excited to embark on this new chapter of growth and learning.

[thelordofgifs]

How’s your writing process with tfs going being a bullet point fic? Why’d you pick that format over any other type?

Oooh, what a fun question!! I picked the format partly because I was reading an absolutely fantastic bullet point fic at the time (Fate, Unwinding by SpaceWall) and partly because, after I wrote up about 400 words of the fic in prose, I realised I wanted to plan it out more before I continued to write it. But then my plan was vaguely funny and I realised I could also try this interesting format if I wanted to!

I think the bullet point format does work very well for canon-divergence AUs in particular: it allows me to be more explanatory when I need to be, so that I can insert a quick aside about how I headcanon a particular character (and hence how that character might react to the canon divergence) without ruining the flow of the story. With tfs I did have some hang-ups in the beginning about how this wasn't a "real fic", but eventually I decided I might as well just embrace the style. And people seem to like the random memes and occasional interjections from the omniscient narrator, which is nice! The format definitely can feel very freeing. I don't worry so much about making my dialogue sound Tolkien-esque, which I strive for in my prose fics; in fact, being able to switch registers between casual tones and more formal ones has been a fun trick to have in my handbook, as I rambled here in a dissection of my favourite scene in the fic.

As for my writing process itself - back in early February when I started writing (HOW is this overgrown thought experiment three months old.) everything came incredibly quickly, which was fun!! These days I take the fic a bit more seriously, and also there are a ton of people reading it which occasionally makes me nervous and scared of disappointing everyone I should never ever be famous, which means that the writing is tougher at times. But then that might have also just been the excitement of a new wip which has now worn off a little. I still love tfs to pieces! But now it's not my baby, it's a demanding teenager whom I occasionally want to scream out and who occasionally makes me very very proud.

[borderepisteme]

Anne Boyer, A Handbook of Disappointed Fate

[aschenblumen]

Anne Boyer, Manual para destinos defraudados. Traducción de Adalber Salas Hernández.

[lessgggoootryingoutadulting]

GETTING MY FIRST JOB

The overwhelming excitement I am feeling right now is beyond words. It is a testament to the hard work I have invested and the unwavering support from my friends and family that has led me to this incredible opportunity. Although my new job as a mediator at Science Gallery Bengaluru may not directly align with my field of study, I have a strong intuition that this experience will be immensely enriching.

Discovering this internship was a stroke of luck, thanks to my friend's sibling who pointed me in the right direction. Initially, I applied in February, filled with hope, only to receive the disappointing news that I had not made it past the first round. Nonetheless, I celebrated my friend's success as she advanced to the interview stage. Little did I know that fate had something else in store for me.

In May, my friend informed me about another round of applications. Initially hesitant, I heeded my mother's advice and decided to give it another shot. With the help of my friend and  her sister, my lackluster CV was transformed into a masterpiece. I am forever grateful for their talent and dedication, as my CV went from a 0 to a perfect 10.

Carefully answering the application questions, I sought guidance from my friend, who had successfully made it through. Even at the late hours of the night, she selflessly replied to my messages, and for that, I am deeply thankful. After meticulously reviewing, rechecking, and revising my application, I finally submitted it, hoping for the best.

A week later, the news arrived—I had been selected for an interview. Ecstatic doesn't even begin to describe the joy that consumed me. However, the interview coincided with my exams, leaving me with little time to prepare. I immersed myself in the handbook and watched two one-hour videos, dedicating an entire day to crafting my presentation. Despite my efforts, the interview itself turned out to be a disaster, leaving me disheartened and discouraged.

I decided to divert my focus towards my exams and temporarily forget about the outcome of the interview. It was during the celebrations of completing my first year, in a moment of pure impulse, that I checked my email, expecting a rejection letter. But to my astonishment, the email I received informed me that I had been selected! I was overwhelmed with happiness, unable to contain my smile.

Now, nearly 20 days later, I find myself holding the contract of my employment, which I eagerly signed. Throughout this journey, many individuals questioned the number of internships I was pursuing and wondered why I hadn't secured a job yet. I am proud that I did not allow these comments to affect me or my determination to succeed.

This blog post serves as a message to my future self, a reminder of my first major achievement as an 18-year-old. I want to remember the excitement, the persistence, and the belief in myself that propelled me forward. This is just the beginning, and I am excited to embark on this new chapter of growth and learning.

[89rooms]

Books ruined my life, and I love them. I love the ecstatic absorption that comes with reading, the self-annihilative surrender to the dead or far away, the luring and the transporting and the cathecting,

Anne Boyer - 'A Handbook of Disappointed Fate; Take Up and Read.'

[xshayarsha]

Books ruined my life, and I love them. I love the ecstatic absorption that comes with reading, the self-annihilative surrender to the dead or far away, the luring and the transporting and the cathecting,

Anne Boyer, from A Handbook of Disappointed Fate; Take Up and Read.

[poetrywillsaveme]

A Handbook of Disappointed Fate: Erotology, by Anne Boyer

[absolvam]

Some days my only certain we is this certain we that didn’t, that wouldn’t, whose bodies or spirits wouldn’t go along. That we slowed, stood around, blocked the way, kept a stone face when the others were complicit and smiling.

Anne Boyer, A Handbook of Disappointed Fate

[razorsadness]

So you can swear you think the one-ness of this one person feels really special right now, and in most hours you would swear to their specialness, but in fact it isn’t even that person and never limited like that. Sometimes it is one, sometimes it is another, sometimes it is a future-oriented longing, sometimes a nostalgic one, sometimes it is a generalized they-ness, sometimes a him-ness or her-ness, the way all the people of past longing combine with those of the present longing. This is like sometimes how you are in the city you now live in and forget and think you are in a city you used to live in or one you have visited a lot. Then sometimes you feel like you are in all cities at once, or that all cities are basically just one, or that it is that you are driving or walking in a city that makes each city the same like the dream city you have the one-person in. So, too, your longing has both an enlarging and flattening effect: now that you have been alive for some time, it’s clear all this longing is a kind of cosmopolitanism. This is the longing that is not in actual relationship but outside of it. That is when it is longing in in the state of the general but not in the specifics of one-on-one bodily negotiation. You hold a face in your eyes a lot and say “I am a citizen of longing for that one person,” but what you really mean is that you are a citizen of longing for the world.

Anne Boyer, from “Erotology” (as appears in A Handbook of Disappointed Fate)

[thevividgreenmoss]

Anne Boyer