#a fun little game on this unhinged website

[cove-simp]

It’s happened

the “cove holden” tag is starting to be flooded with p*rnbots

[tenebraevesper]

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (My Thoughts)

Before I start with anything, I just have to let this out: I ADORE THIS GAME!!! It has no right to be so good and I genuinely want more of these kinds of games where we get to interact with more of the Sonic cast. All of them were written so well, with their own little quirks and the game is just pure fun. Honestly, I could probably go on and on about this, but I’ll just do a quick summary of some of my favorite character interactions before moving on to one character I had been anticipating the most. Spoilers are ahead!

The player character, whose name is apparently Barry the Quokka, is really fun and I adore his cave-loving and trash-searching quirks. Not to mention the ways of him dealing with “this group’s unhinged way of thinking”, trying to just go along with all the weirdness and fanboying over Sonic.

I also love his dynamic with Tails, who is the most adorable detective I’ve ever seen. Honestly, this whole thing gave me a lot of Ace Attorney vibes and I’m living for it.

...

Well, most adorable next to another of my favorite detectives:

If you never watched Detective Conan, I strongly suggest you do.

I gotta say, Tails’ reaction to Sonic being “murdered” is kind of raw...

...and then it crosses the line with Amy being excited that someone “murdered” Sonic.

Next, another character who really looks good in his outfit - Knuckles! I love that they gave him the cowboy hat, even if it’s not the same as the Sonic OVA (progress guys, progress) and he actually commits to the bit of a sheriff, at least for Amy, only to just drop it when Tails and Barry arrive. Oh, and him and Vector for the high score at the arcade game and Knuckles just punching it in frustration when Vector beat him. Honestly, who wouldn’t do that?

Following up, Espio and Vector. I loved how committed Espio was to his role as the poet, even if his poetry wasn’t exactly... the best (not to mention his outfit looks so fitting!). He really has this “He’s a bit confused, but he’s got the spirit!” vibe going on. Then there were other bits like the fact that Espio actually speed read through a book just to spoil the ending for Knuckles.

Then there’s Vector just defending Espio when he gets accused. Let’s be real here, Vector is Espio’s Dad and no one can change my mind.

Next are Blaze and Rouge, and I found it so hilarious that Rouge managed to rope Blaze, Tails and Barry into her heist of stealing the Fabergé Chao Egg and Blaze just goes along with it because it’s part of her character lore card.

Not to mention the whole bit with them thinking the egg is a bomb and trying to figure out what to do with it (spoilers!: it’s not a bomb). Superb comedy!

Next, we move on to Shadow, and I had been really anticipating how he’d be written in this story. My thoughts? Goddamn, this was the kind of character writing I’ve been begging for ages!

In the story, Shadow is quite suspicious due to locking all the doors in the train, with Amy, Tails and Barry interrogating him and Amy believing he “murdered” Sonic. Well, as it turns out, the reason he was locking the doors was because he was trying to keep Amy out of the Lounge Car (while also handing out keys to everyone else). Why?

He was just trying to use the computer and buy Amy concert tickets of her favorite band, Hot Honey, for her birthday. Like, how adorable is THAT?!

Shadow then admits that he had trouble with it, printing out the Hot Honey website on accident and that he isn’t the best with computers. He then proceeds to explain:

So to recap, Shadow really cares about Amy and he put effort into trying to get her a nice birthday present, even if he didn’t succeed. Not only that, but he had also agreed to come to Amy’s birthday party (dressed as a Starbucks Barista; yeah, we all know the joke) and even helped out Knuckles and Vector with the arcade game they had trouble figuring out (also signing his high score with “Ultim”).

Now tell me, with the way he had been written in the Sonic IDW comics...

...and the whole SEGA mandates thing going on, do you really think Shadow would act like that? Honestly, I don’t think so, which makes me believe that, even if it’s for a spin-off game, maybe they’re finally loosening up on Shadow’s character. Evan Stanley did mention that they want Shadow to be written more closer to his game counterpart and if they’re fine with him being characterized as he is in this spin-off game, then I’m all for it!

Also, seeing Shadow being flustered over being invited to the concert is frigging adorable... and maybe a reference to the Twitter Takeover? I mean, both are apparently Taylor Swift fans. Oh, and speaking of references:

I rest my case. I also had to screenshot this because... com’n!

I said it once and I’m saying it again, Shadow is so cute in this game!

Anyways, Shadow tags along with Tails, Amy and Barry to the Conductor Car, where they solve the mystery, calling everyone to hear what happened, but when they go to get Sonic, they realize that something is wrong.

When Sonic doesn’t respond, Shadow and Espio are the first to jump in to help him. Once again, this is the kind of writing I really wanted to see when it comes to Shadow’s character. He really cares about his friends.

Speaking of friends...

Yeah... I wouldn’t want to be Amy’s target when she’s in this kind of mood.

Speaking of target, it looks like Espio isn’t the only one who’s about to commit “murder”. Yes, spoilers for those who hadn’t played the game, Espio was the one who “murdered” Sonic, albeit by using a blowdart and drugging him. However, there is a twist to this mystery.

Yeah, as it turns out, not only is the train a Badnik, but everyone is en route to be delivered to Dr. Eggman.

Honestly, this is getting rather creepy, especially with the train holding everyone hostage like this.

The train then locks everything up, throwing Sonic and Barry into the Dining Car, with Eggman calling in and explaining this was all part of his plan. He promised that he would reward any Badnik who could deliver him Sonic and his friends, and the train Badnik took it upon itself to fulfill that.

Okay, can we just talk for a moment how Eggman has managed to make a train Badnik without anyone noticing? This is disturbing.

After Eggman turns the call off, Barry starts blaming himself for not telling anyone how he noticed that Sonic was genuinely injured, because if he did, this whole story could’ve been avoided.

Sonic cheers him up, pointing out how it is easy to question the decisions that got you to the end of a road, but you should let those negative thoughts pass and keep living. Honestly, it’s the kind of advice everyone needs.

He and Barry then blast through each train car, eventually reaching the Badnik and the conductor.

The train Badnik then reveals how it just wanted to be forever friends with the conductor and was enraged when it realized that the conductor “abandoned” it, so it decided to deliver Sonic and co. to Eggman to get its reward - being forever together with the conductor. 

Damn, this game makes me actually feel bad for a train.

Sonic has none of it, calling the train selfish for doing this at the expense of everyone, and with the help of his friends, he manages to hit the train, allowing for Espio to grab the Flicky and Amy to smash the train.

Once things calm down and everyone’s outside the train, Sonic reveals the cake he had bought, with everyone wishing Amy Happy Birthday.

As for Eggman, he figures out that his plans have been foiled once again, but more importantly - SAGE CAMEO!!! And she and Metal Sonic are wearing “Let’s Go Dad!” T-shirts, that’s so adorable! (I suppose this also means this story takes place after Sonic Frontiers.)

So, yeah, this was The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, and it’s amazing! My only complaint here is that Silver is missing, but otherwise, I love it. Like I said before, we really need more games where we get to interact with Sonic’s friends.

#Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer (Masterlist)

[saltminerising]

I think the biggest problem you guys have with notn is that you think of it JUST as a way of making money and needing to set aside time and energy for it and that your entire year of projects or whatever “depends” on it. But have you considered it is literally a fun event on a website and that making money and exhausting yourself makes you seem a little unhinged? Can you find a good reason for notn to be in December without somehow making it about your vault? Can you guys genuinely not think of anything else than to be good at the fake dragon economy? Like can you not just enjoy something. For real. A fun little event that the devs put together because they wanted the community to have something to do? I don’t respect any of you complaining about how bad your luck has been with making money or even those of you bragging about it. It won’t and would not kill you to just enjoy your game.

[wanderlustqueen-writes]

Hi Alice, how are things?

I've got into this little Ask Game now, and was wondering about these two for the Fanfic writer questions:

🥺 - I love this question. How do you create the feels?

😬 - this one made me laugh!

Anyway, hope you're good. I'm procrastinating :)

Hi Terra! I'm also procrastinating a lil bit, but overall I'm fine, thanks for asking ☺️ hope you're good too!

Sorry for taking so long to reply. Here it goes:

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE begginings, so the first shifts in the characters relationships are always appealing to me, and it's something I've been trying to explore in my fics. The first time a character notices they wanna be around that "annoying" person 🥺, the first butterflies in the stomach 🥺🥺, the FIRST KISS 🥺🥺🥺(I'm a sucker for first kisses as I'm sure I've made @this-is-krikkit very aware lmao sorry abt that). This doesn't only apply to romantic relationships, I'm all for friendship begginings as well!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Well... there's a little Twilight fic that I wrote in 2009 (I was 13 at the time) that I *definetly* don't want anyone to see. It was unplotted, unabashed and UNHINGED. Not a single person or vampire was in-character, and things escalated way to quickly. The first chapter features a very uncalled for burst of rage and a sloppy makeout scene written by someone with no practical or theoretical knowledge on the matter lmao! The website where I posted the fic no longer exists, but unfortunately someone posted the first chapter without my permission on another platform, so the story is still alive there. I thought I'd be fun to read it before answering this and I almost died of cringe 🥲

Thanks for the ask ☺️💖

[cqmical]

welcome!

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE, the earth says hello!

hello and welcome to my new tumblr blog.. thing.! before i get into the waffling, i fear i should warn everyone that i'm a huge noob when it comes to this website. i never really understood it, but now i've decided to make my own because admittedly i always thought it looked fun + the idea of a blog has really been lingering in my mind recently. the point is, please stay with me while i figure this out lmfao.

as for what i'm going to put on this... well i don't actually know yet. i'm thinking maybe i'll just post fun little moodboards, maybe some rambling about my favourite interests (see below), and whatever else. assuming you're coming from my wattpad, you'll know i just ramble about complete nonsense over there anyway, so.. now you know what you're in for. i might also, if i get brave enough, do some form of writing here one day—maybe short form, like one-shots or something of the sort, but that's still being decided.

for right now, here are my biggest + main interests so you can decide if you want to consider reading rants about my various fixations:

criminal minds (s14 as i'm writing this). taylor swift. ariana grande. jellycats (lmao). harry potter. marvel. modern family. bruno mars/silk sonic. uk yt—arthurtv, george clarke, italian bach, sidemen, etc. twilight. disney. pixar. olivia rodrigo. kingsman duology. bridgerton. one direction. cobra kai. sabrina carpenter. gossip girl. abba. pretty little liars. nickelodeon. percy jackson. the maze runner. dystopia in general. the last of us. top gun. heartstopper. brooklyn 99. lockwood & co. scream. superstore. + pm all sitcoms. my babysitter's a vampire. inheritance games. suits.

there are probably a few more, but as of right now, i'd say these are my main ones!!

a few smaller ones (or ones i'm not into as much anymore) include:

old movies, f1—not much yet. jazz music. the summer i turned pretty. teen wolf. star wars—this one is really small but i'm trying. greys anatomy. glee. gilmore girls. miraculous ladybug (planning to rewatch). chappel roan. harry styles.

there are definitely more but i think this is all that's coming to me at the moment. feel free to ask me about any other though because i am in SO MANY fandoms. it's unhinged.

for now, i think that's everything i have to say, but i will make more posts in the future!

[baejax-the-great]

Imagine telling someone on tumblr that they are overthinking things

[youryanderedaddy]

I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙

Yo this is my kink 😳

Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.

Title: Stranger danger

Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping

You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.

Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.

You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.

The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.

Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.

One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.

After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.

You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.

You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.

"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.

"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.

"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.

"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.

The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.

You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.

You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.

[kurtstinypurse]

nothing but a senseless babble (klaine mini-fic)

so from how this week has gone, I ended up craving the chance to write something soft and fun. I have a list of the prompts I still haven’t filled, and I decided to use one of those and see what I could come up with! here’s a “ways to say I love you” mini-fic, prompted by @porcelainandthehobbit once upon a time.

also, thank you to the best @hippohead I know for convincing me this was worth writing & for always always being so so supportive :’) 

I hope a little escape of something sweet is even close to as good for some of you as it was for me <3

“No, Kurt. You’re going to have to cut it down. Your closet at school isn’t even going to fit half of what’s in that pile, and I am not giving you any room in mine.”

“But-”

“No!” Blaine interjects right away, exasperated at the sight of the veritable mountain of clothes in Kurt’s Bring to New York bin. By comparison, his Keep at Home box is sparse, Donate essentially empty. “Do you remember the tiny shoebox of a dorm room we’re going to be living in? Not to mention the sorry excuses of closets? We don’t have room.”

They’re going to be cramped enough as it is, inevitably at each other’s throats more often than not, being forced to share a space with room enough for two beds, two desks, and two dressers, but not much else. The model rooms on NYU’s housing website looked small enough, but Blaine has a suspicion the freshman dorms are even tinier, even older, even less comfortable.

But it’ll be worth it.

He really is looking forward to living with Kurt, to the endless opportunities for sleepovers and movie nights, study sessions and late night dance parties. They’re going to have exactly what they’ve more or less dreamed of for the better part of their friendship, since they were little kids, and it’s going to be awesome. He knows it.

But he isn’t looking forward to living with all of Kurt’s clothes and scarves and accessories and shoes and everything else.

“Yes,” Kurt huffs, folding his arms across his chest and lifting a petulant eyebrow in Blaine’s direction. “But I also remember that you didn’t exactly ‘cut down’ on any of your bowties when we packed your stuff.”

His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and then he uncrosses his arms to offer mocking air quotes to emphasize how ridiculous Blaine’s idea is - cut down? Yeah right.

It makes Blaine feel nothing but defensive, annoyance bubbling in his belly, magnified by the exhaustion from packing their stuff for the third day in a row, by his nerves about moving halfway across the country, by his fears of it all not working out how he’s hoped for so long.

Defending himself is easier than confronting all of that - and so he does.

“Bowties are tiny! Your clothes are-”

“Are you saying I’m large, Blaine?” 

“No! You’re perfectly in shape and you know it. I just meant-”

“Ooooh, you think I’m perfectly in shape?”

Kurt is fully taunting him now, grinning widely in that way where his eyes crinkle at the corners and his teeth barely peek out from the stretch of his lips, and it catches Blaine off guard, throws him for a loop as he realizes what he’s just said, too.

What it implies.

Blaine has noticed Kurt, obviously. He’s noticed him often, but of course he has - Blaine is gay, and Kurt is attractive and Kurt is right there, and it’s only natural.

He rarely lets himself acknowledge it in his own head, though, let alone out loud.

Let alone to Kurt.

“I- You-” Blaine stutters, gapes, finally manages to recover. “Stop being ridiculous, Kurt! You’re deflecting. Just- Cut your clothes down!”

“You love it,” Kurt insists, shoving the folded clothes between them to either side, scooting forward on the floor until they’re sitting right in front of each other, cross-legged, knees just shy of touching. “You love me.”

Of course he does. Of course he loves Kurt, loves how Kurt riles him up and makes him feel safe all at once, loves when they get like this and loves their comfortable silences, too, loves how his friendship with Kurt is everything and always has been everything, hopefully always will be.

But-

“No. You’re ridiculous, like I said.”

He isn’t ready to give it up.

“What- You don’t love me?” Kurt gasps dramatically, his hand thrown over his heart. “Your best friend of- god, nearly a decade? Your future roommate? Your-”

“Nope!” Blaine cuts in, biting back a grin, realizing he’s somehow become amused along the way instead of annoyed, feeling competitive now instead of irritated. “You’re ridiculous, and I hate you.”

Kurt narrows his eyes into a glare that usually sends a shiver down Blaine’s spine - but tonight, it only invigorates him, makes him want to dig into this deeper, see how far he can take it before one of them breaks.

Actually, before Kurt breaks. Because it won’t be Blaine.

Not tonight.

“You love me,” Kurt insists, his voice low, almost threatening, nearly chilling, and he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, nearly close enough for Blaine’s vision to blur as he attempts to hold eye contact. “Tell me you love me.”

He’s pulling out all the stops.

Almost all the stops.

“No.” 

Blaine stays steady, schooling his face into a neutral expression, but he knows what’s next. They’ve been here before, testing each other, rapidly approaching a stalemate. Over the years, it’s evolved from bickering over what game to play to this, something much more loaded, full of the unsaid and the unacknowledged, never referenced outside of these moments, quiet lines never crossed, boundaries never pushed past the point of no return. 

He isn’t sure why he still bothers standing his ground, still bothers trying, because if he makes it this far, there’s only one way it ever ends, time and time again.

There’s one more of Blaine’s buttons that Kurt knows exactly how to push, one more thing that Kurt always uses as a last resort to get his way.

It should be predictable. Blaine should be ready for it.

He should harness the telltale glint in Kurt’s eyes, use it to brace himself, but instead, it just makes him freeze.

It gets him every time. It works every time, this now isn’t any different.

Kurt rears back, and he pounces.

Blaine vaguely registers the sound of a yelp that he feels ripping through his own throat, but he’s too focused on falling backwards and not hitting his head against the hardwood floor to be embarrassed of or even control the noises he’s making. He manages to land instead on a rogue pile of Kurt’s clothes-

And then he’s laser focused on the feeling of Kurt on top of him, lording over him, his impossibly quick fingers tickling Blaine’s sides, making him squirm, thrash, defenseless - and making him laugh, too, deep from the pit of his belly, his body shaking with the force of it.

“Tell! Me!” Kurt insists in the midst of his own peals of laughter, and it’s like his hands are everywhere, up to Blaine’s armpits and back down again, over his stomach, his arms, his chest, hitting all of his most ticklish spots without giving a second for mercy. 

It’s funny, and it hurts, and Blaine feels utterly hysterical with the childishness of it all, with Kurt straddling him, above him, consuming him, stealing the breaths right out of his chest, overwhelming and overly stimulating and-

“Fine! F-Fine, okay, I-” 

He almost breaks - wants to break, to make it stop - but he can’t get enough of the words out to forfeit. 

“You what, Blaine? You what?” Kurt eggs him on with a grin, leaning in closer, lowering his body down nearer to Blaine’s, a mere inch or two away from holding him down completely. It gives him better leverage - Blaine can tell based on the way Kurt’s fingers speed up, dig deeper, and the determination in Kurt’s eyes, steel blue ferocity.

He’s entirely ruthless.

Blaine squirms, arms flailing in search of a chance to push Kurt off, not finding it, hands grasping in the air, at the clothes on the floor, at Kurt, in a desperate search for purchase, but he can’t find that, either.

There’s only one thing left to do, and he musters all the air in his lungs to do it.

“I love you!” he finally gasps out, voice shaking with uncontrollable laughs, feeling completely wild and unhinged. “I love you, please, I love you, I love you-”

His voice chokes, dies in his throat, cutting off his near-senseless babble of a repetition when his eyes meet Kurt’s, and he finds a sort of intensity he’s never seen before, not from Kurt, not directed at him.

They stop moving at the same time.

They stop laughing at the same time.

They stop breathing at the same time.

Kurt is raised up on his hands now, bracketing either side of Blaine’s head, and he’s staring down at Blaine with flushed cheeks, wide eyes, parted lips, hair mussed and messy, so devastatingly gorgeous and so magnetic in a way that’s startlingly new. 

Blaine feels flushed, hot with the culmination of every touch and every breath since his back landed against the floor, and he isn’t sure when it all changed. 

He isn’t sure when they went from the way they’ve always been to this.

He can’t move, can’t look away. In the past frozen moments he’s gotten lost in Kurt's eyes, and now he’s stuck there, swimming in the pools of blue and green and gray, all there is.

“I love you,” he whispers again, feeling like he’s saying it for the very first time, the words holding a different weight on his tongue and shaping differently in his mouth, too, in his chest, in his bloodstream.

But there’s nothing else to say.

Kurt’s elbows buckle, and his fingers twine for a desperate hold through Blaine’s hair, and they’re kissing.

They’re kissing.

It’s deep and it’s hungry right from the start, nothing like the few tentative kisses Blaine has shared with a few tentative crushes in the past, nothing like what he thought kissing Kurt would be like.

Because, yes, he’s thought of this. He’s caught himself staring at Kurt’s mouth before, watching as Kurt absentmindedly sucks at his bottom lip while he studies, watching as Kurt sips from his designated straw in the milkshakes they share at their favorite diner, watching as Kurt nibbles the chocolate off of his biscotti at the Lima Bean. And he’s caught his mind drifting there, too, when he’s laying in bed at night, wanting.

Wanting.

But Blaine has never identified it as anything but his curiosities latching themselves onto the person closest to him. He’s never considered that the low, twisting coil that forms in his belly when Kurt locks eyes with him across the choir room and makes him feel like he’s the only person in the building could mean something more. He’s never paid much mind to the lift of his heart when Kurt touches him, to the fact that they both always seek out little excuses to stay close and to hug and to brush and to lean, to the strangeness of these teasing tests that they give each other, to what it all points towards.

He’s never considered that the way Kurt is the first thing on his mind every morning and the last thing every night could mean something, either, but that’s because it’s just how it’s always been, from the time they were children.

But maybe wanting Kurt, needing Kurt, loving Kurt is just how it’s always been, too.

And that’s why it doesn’t feel like a first kiss - because it isn’t, not really. There’s no hesitation to it, no question in the movements of their mouths or their hands or their bodies.

The testing has already been done.

It makes it easy for Blaine to reach and to grab, one hand grasping Kurt’s hip, rubbing his thumb in insistent circles at his hip bone, through his shirt, the other sliding up Kurt’s chest slowly, coming to cup his face, holding him close, holding him right where he is. It makes it easy for Blaine to plunge into the depths of their kiss, working Kurt’s mouth open with his tongue and then inside, tasting, learning, searching, finding.

It makes it easy for Blaine to allow himself to feel, to revel in the swirls of heat that form under his skin and thrum there with an energy that becomes addictive right away, every nerve ending in his body alert, awake, responding to every part of Kurt, too.

When they finally come up for air, parting just enough to breathe again, their foreheads leaned together, Kurt’s body now settled fully against Blaine’s with a weight that soothes him and ignites him all at once, there’s no panic, no embarrassment, no apology, no takebacks.

No explanation, because there doesn’t need to be one.

The moment holds them tenderly, allows Blaine the opportunity to resurface, to come into his senses and into his body again, settling into this newly awakened iteration of himself and of them, but it doesn’t take long.

This is him. This is them. 

And of all the changes they’re about to face together, from moving halfway across the country to learning how to navigate a new city to leaving everything but each other behind, this feels like the easiest one, already perfectly known, perfectly understood, fully formed and solid and unshakeable.

It almost doesn’t feel like a change at all.

When Blaine’s eyes flutter open, he finds Kurt’s already open, gazing down at him with a fondness that makes his breath catch, so close that Blaine’s vision blurs all over again as he attempts to focus, but the circumstances are all different now, slow instead of fast, purposeful instead of hysterical, building something together full of meaning and gravity instead of butting heads just for the sake of it.

He wants to stay here forever, laying in the clutter of all Kurt’s belongings, anchored by the literal weight of Kurt on top of him and of the feelings inside of him, too, the ones he finally has a name for, all slotted into place. 

“I love you,” Kurt murmurs, and warmth blooms like flowers in Blaine’s chest, threading him into the garden of Kurt’s words and his touches and the tenderness in his eyes, each and every bit of them blossoms of meaning and of intention and possibility.

“I love you, too,” Blaine whispers, cranes his neck up just enough to kiss Kurt all over again, and it’s all they need.

They both know what it means.

[haplessentity]

tag game from @smalldyke ! i forgot about this post for like a week and a half srry

name: jonathan

gender: oh you know

star sign: scorpio

height: 5′5

time: 6:53pm

birthday: november

fav band: i dont really have "favorite" artists bc i have complicated and insufferable opinions about media but also bc the last few bands ive considered my favorites all broke up

fav solo artist: see above

song stuck in my head: wake up call by maroon 5. i’m not happy about it either

last movie: i actually dont know i dont really watch movies

last show: ditto. im boring

when did i create this blog: 2014 but i lurked on tumblr for a few years before that. i think i was genuinely afraid id get in trouble bc of the 13 y/o age limit

what do i post: bull shit

last thing i googled: i don’t know because i tend to use incognito but the most recent tab i have open is the wikipedia page for “azhdarchidae”

other blogs: so many

do i get asks: only occasionally but when i do i have a lot of fun reading anon messages (not sarcasm i think everyone on this website is unhinged and it’s very funny)

why i chose this url: i am just . a little creachure

following: less than 200 (based)

followers: less than 1k (cringe)

average hours of sleep: i don’t have a “sleep schedule” but last night i took a blind handful of melatonin at like midnight. does this clarify enough

lucky numbers: 13, 21, 8, 0

instruments: ive played the violin for 10 years now :^) and the guitar for probably about.. 3 hours cumulative

what am i wearing: i wear grey jeans and a t shirt every single day of my life and this will not change any time soon

dream job: im in school for veterinary medicine but i have also been told i'd be a good fit for taxidermy, dentistry, and funeral homes

dream trip: part of me wants to visit prague. dont know why

favorite food: not really

nationality: californian

fav song: a lot of them but like. heat waves by glass animals/bummerland by ajr/day gaunts by days n daze/i'm against the government by defiance ohio/судно by молчат дома/etc etc etc

last book i read: the memory police by yoko ogawa

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: im actually stealing this answer from someone else but professor layton. also tf2 because i want to fuck the medic

i tag @anothertwist @sawyersick @wreith @bloodpusher @iscairot @babysaints and any of my other beloved mutuals but only if u wanna :-) mwah

[hoshigomi]

THUNDERBOLT FANTASY/AMAZING STAR☆KILLER ROUGE - Hoshigumi, 2018

Disclaimer: I can’t call this a review. I don’t really speak Japanese, and what I understand is sort of limited, so I don’t think it’s fair for me to put my thoughts and opinions out as a REVIEW. I absolutely did not grasp the entirety of this show and will not pretend I did.  I’m just someone who really loves Takarazuka, knows some Japanese, loves Hoshigumi more than air, is enthralled with Thunderbolt Fantasy as a show in and of itself, and was privileged enough to see this production four times. Here is a (very long) collection of thoughts!

THUNDERBOLT FANTASY~

This entire experience was a blast from start to finish.  When Thunderbolt Fantasy was announced as Hoshigumi’s tour show, I think a lot of us were rightfully CAUTIOUSLY CURIOUS about the entire situation, especially after we looked up the source material and found a PUPPET SHOW. I remember watching the first episode with a friend, having only the tentative top/nibante/top musumeyaku casting and thinking “wow that’s uh ambitious and confusing but I kind of love it.”  Well, reader, I can personally confirm that in the end, I more than kind of loved it.  I’m currently nine episodes into the TV series and what I can say is the Takarazuka production MOSTLY follows it so far, up until about episode seven, where they start making some sacrifices in order to fit a 13 episode TV show into an hour and some change stage production. Names are a bit confusing, and even the Takarazuka main website put up a glossary of terms, so you know you’re getting into Something before you even start. 

The BASIC, BASIC, BARE BONES PLOT is as follows (I am using the JAPANESE CHARACTER names for consistency):  

THE PLOT: 

Tan Hi (Kisaki Airi) and her brother, Tan Ko (Toudou Jun) are part of a clan that is tasked with protecting a sacred sword. Obviously, A Group Of Bad Guys™ led by Betsu Ten Gai (Tenju Mitsuki) followed by Ryo Mi (Arisa Hitomi), Cho Mei (Amahana Ema), and Zan Kyo (Ooki Makoto) ALSO want the sacred sword. Tan Hi and Tan Ko are ambushed and attacked by Zan Kyo, and Tan Ko (Airi’s character’s brother) is killed. Tan Hi escapes with the hilt of the sacred sword (hereafter: TENGYOKEN), but is in pretty bad shape. 

Meanwhile in the woods, Shou Fu Kan (Nanami Hiroki), a wandering swordsman, is trying to escape the rain and does so by taking an umbrella from over a Buddha Statue. Enter Lin Setsu A (Kurenai Yuzuru), a VERY CANONICALLY MYSTERIOUS AND VAGUE guy who immediately starts giving Shou Fu Kan grief for taking the Buddha’s umbrella, to which Shou Fu Kan replies, “If the stone Buddha gets wet, it will be fine, but if I get wet, I will catch a cold.” Touche, cute swordsman. Enter Tan Hi, still being pursued by Zan Kyo. Tan Hi is in very bad shape, and Shou Fu Kan fights Zan Kyo, Zan Kyo severs his own head.  After, in the land of evil, Betsu Ten Gai receives Zan Kyo’s severed head (really) and accesses his memory, the last of which is Shou Fu Kan giving his name immediately before Zan Kyo is beheaded. Betsu Ten Gai now is targeting Shou Fu Kan who obviously has something to do with the Tengyoken. Betsu Ten Gai sends his lackeys after Shou Fu Kan and co. 

I won’t go any more into the plot (and unfortunately Wikipedia can’t really help you), but if you’re interested I really recommend you watch the TV show, because it is INTERESTING. From there, Ken San Un (Rei Makoto) enters and joins the party because he is a classic cocky charming young boy protagonist who wants to make a name for himself, along with Lin Setsu A’s old “friends”, Shu Un Sho (an archer, played by Kizaki Reo), Kei Gai (a NECROMANCER played by Yumeki Anru), and Setsu Mu Sho, (a LITERAL SERIAL KILLER who wants Lin Setsu A DEAD, played by Mao Yuuki.) Every one of these characters has a complicated and not overtly stated motive, and NONE of them agree on any tactics which is further complicated by the fact that half of them aren’t even human and Demon Motives Are Different. The one thing they have in common is that they all want the Tengyoken out of Betsu Ten Gai’s hands. 

THE PLAY ITSELF:  This was an anime stage play. If you like anime stage plays, you will LOVE Thunderbolt Fantasy. If you have ever loved a video game, an anime, a fantasy story, or THOUGHT you might love a video game, anime, or fantasy story, this play is going to be FUN for you. I felt like I was INSIDE a game in the Final Fantasy series. The technical aspects of the show BLEW ME AWAY. The coolest lighting effects I have seen in my life are in this play. The set is effective at getting across where we are, and projections are used to pretty cool effect this time around, in my opinion. There are LITERALLY only three and a half sung songs in this entire musical, one being the title song sung by the main players, one being another T.M. Revolution song sung by Kurenai Yuzuru to introduce the rest of the characters, one beautiful sweet little half song sung by Kisaki Airi, and one being just something they gave Rei Makoto at the start of the show because she’s technically Hoshigumi’s nibante but you wouldn’t know it just from watching this show.  Which brings us to the cast!

THE CAST: PERFECT and weird. Kurenai Yuzuru as Lin Setsu A was honestly genius. I saw this production with a friend who knows only a little about Takarazuka, knows Beni tangentially, has seen one episode of Thunderbolt Fantasy and she said “that role was made for Beni.” He is sly and manipulative and FUNNY and his motives are ENTIRELY unknown. Beni sings what she sings fantastically, and it’s VERY good to see her slinking around the stage with a sly fox smile all the time.  Nanami Hiroki as Shou Fu Kan. I wouldn’t normally list her second, but in this case, she was the nibante role. I have NO idea why this didn’t go to Rei Makoto, except maybe because Kai can play a disgruntled but good natured adult man better than she can play a like spunky sixteen year old boy. Shou Fu Kan is the protagonist of Thunderbolt and they did NOT change that even ONE BIT for this play. The story directly relied on her action and without spoiling anything, the coolest stage magic and ridiculously anime moment I have ever seen in my life involved her center stage in the final battle, Making It Happen. She has pretty much The Last Moment in the show. She has one-liners and dry humor and handles stage combat INCREDIBLY. Shou Fu Kan is just a morally good guy who doesn’t want trouble and does want to Do The Right Thing. This role was AMAZING for her (I am biased.), and I can’t wait to see how the tour audiences take it. 

Kisaki Airi as Tan Hi. This is my favorite role I have ever seen Airi in. She was the best at stage combat in the entire troupe, and she acted her pants off. Her character goes through a lot of unecessary bullshit and suffering and she remains wholly likeable through it all. Her motivations are clear and her relationships with the other characters are believable and specific. She also has some really lovely comic bits.

Rei Makoto as Ken San Un. Coto was playing a spunky kid and honestly Coto was born to play spunky kids (but what wasn’t Coto born to play?) Ken San Un has an ego that IS backed up by skill, and he really just wants to Make A Name For Himself, Impress A Girl, and do the right thing. Her voice is as usual, killer, and her character is INSANELY charming, especially when interacting with Tan Hi. There’s a lot of complexity in this role too, and Coto handles it fantastically. They padded this role out a lot, which worked well and didn’t seem forced whatsoever, but even so, it was a solidly supporting role. Hopefully Coto got some well deserved rest in the process.

The rest of the roles were similarly well-cast. Hoshigumi’s focus on ensemble casts like they did here and with Another World REALLY do them all some favors. Tenju Mitsuki made short but crucial appearances as the MAIN VILLAN and got to show off the unhinged wildness that made her Mercutio so fantastic. Amahana Ema and Arisa Hitomi were good henchmen, Arisa Hitomi has a cool little fight and a costume with neat slits that make her movement interesting. The characters could have dealt with more development, but they’re also fairly one-dimensional in the show. Mao Yuuki as a serial killer was hard to buy, but she did what she could with a role that in the TV show is like stoic and, well, literally a puppet. Yumeki Anru kind of absolutely SLAYED being a hot demon with a whip, her interactions with fellow demonic entity Beni were true to the show, and she sings fantastically. Kizaki Reo is actually insanely handsome as the really gruff archer with (surprise) also dubious morals. Her voice also SHOCKED me in all the right ways. Other characters were played by everyone else, and the smaller cast meant that a lot of the kids got little moments in prolonged exposition scenes as storytellers or townspeople or evil henchmen. This troupe is in good hands with the younger ones, I think. Shoutout to EVERY ONE OF THE MAIN CAST (and Ruri Hanaka and Sumika Amane, playing TINY roles) for balancing weird puppet-inspired physicality and quirks from the show with like, actual human acting and movement.

AMAZING STAR ☆ KILLER ROUGE~

More of us have seen Killer Rouge, so this doesn’t need as much from me.  This production, as a tour, has gone through some changes. Notably, the postman number sung by Seo Yuriya/Honoka Kozakura/Seira Hitomi was cut (and literally none of those three were in this because of Bow Hall/injury (get well, Honoka ♥️ ). Solos sung by Toa Reiya/Hanagata Hikaru/Seo Yuriya were mostly distributed to Amahana Ema/Tenju Mitsuki/Kizaki Reo/Amato Kanon etc. The Nippon Seinenkan stage doesn’t make ANY sense for this revue, which originally made pretty nice use of stairs/the ginkyou/the SPACE they had in Mura and Tokyo.  Mask of Rouge got ANOTHER wig option and Nanami Hiroki seems to just be rotating through them entirely at her own chaotic will, which creates a really high stakes Russian Roulette Situation in terms of how Hot Mask Of Rouge Will Be.  The Rose of Versailes/Disgaea/Wonder Rouge section of the revue was SOLIDLY the most charming thing I have ever seen in my life.  Mao Yuuki has joined the Wonder Five audience participation bit in place of Seo Yuriya and Tenju Mitsuki is up there in place of Hanagata Hikaru. This troupe can ad lib like NO ONE’S BUSINESS or more accurately, Beni and Airi can ad lib like no one’s business, Coto occasionally has some bursts of inspiration, and Kai can’t begin to keep a straight face when put on the spot.  There are a lot of new numbers, and all of them are in my opinion, really Good. There’s also a LENGTHY Beniko/Aiko/Reiko ad lib section always beginning with some discussion about studying Chinese and always giving away the fact that Coto and Airi are working harder at that than Beni seems to be.  That said, Beni does have a REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND SIMPLE AND CLASSIC solo kuroenbi situation that is in Chinese and to my (English speaking ears) it sounds really good. We’ll see I guess.  Coto/Airi/Ema have a HEAVY METAL ROCK NUMBER that’s kind of hot and totally in all their powerhouse ranges.  The pegasus/everyone in multicolored outfits is really satisfying to me and would be to any other Hoshigumi fan despite the fact that I don’t love Toa Reiya’s taidan solo going to someone else (which I admit is just maybe because I loved Toa Reiya.)  There’s a cute little number (Timing) with Airi, Minato Rihi, and Yuunagi Ryou. Yuunagi Ryou is CUTE. The number is cute. The kickline was a little different and also involved some girls who weren’t in it originally because it’s not just the whole 104th class anymore and they needed to make up for THAT in a fierce way. Shoutout to all the girls who jumped in and killed it. ♥️ Ruri Hanaka specifically caught my eye and also had a nice solo in the whole costume party number.  Jounetsu no Arashi was replaced for whatever reason but the number thats in it’s place now is equally as hot and like involves some counting in Spanish and a lot of rowdy otokoyaku energy which is my single greatest weakness. 

For me, as a Hoshigumi fan until the day I die probably, Killer Rouge was incredible. So many people got little chances to shine, and the fun the actresses were having with it was PALPABLE. I loved the vast majority of the costumes and set pieces and little themed moments, and I loved the new numbers, and I did not miss the numbers that were cut (save for Jounetsu no Arashi because Coto licking her lips was pretty good.) I got to see the people I love most doing a revue that was so joyful and energetic and group-focused. I could not have asked for more. 

I’d give Thunderbolt Fantasy/Killer Rouge a 100/10, which will surprise no one who has ever met me. 

Thanks Hoshigumi, and good luck in Taiwan!

[bedlamgames]

Q&A #93

Next update is very close to being done, so time to get back on the answering questions horse. Plan is to also do these as twitlongers for those that no longer want to deal with tumblr. 

Anonymous said: The good news is that for explicit content posted in the past, tumblr seems to be willing to let it stay (if my reading of their announcement is correct) -- you may be able to keep this blog as an archive, but wherever you choose to move I'd gladly follow. (I'm already pledged for a dollar on Patreon so that shouldn't be a problem.)

Actually, belay my last message, creating your own website might not be a bad idea. I know that SilverBardGames has their own website and that's like my other indie game developer (with explicit content) that I follow. Word of mouth might still work to spread the good word.

That’s the plan. I do definitely need to sort out a website though sometime. If this experience has shown me anything it’s that relying on a single resource is a baaaad idea. 

justanothorguy1 said: Where are you going to post you new download links for you games?

Will still post them here, the patreon, TFGames, and the Collective. Will also post them going forward on the twitter. 

rafaelivri said: 1. Somehow my slaver that I recruit started with cum lust+++. Is this even intentional (that they can have it from the very beginning)? 2. Any way to get rid of it? 

Worked out what was causing that and it should be fixed in the update. 

Anonymous said: I'm not sure if this a bug but recently I've been getting a lot of slaves and slavers whose descriptions say that they're barely taller than a goblin.

Maybe a weird run of RNG? Not heard that from anyone else yet so one to keep an eye on I think. 

Anonymous said: was wondering if theres a walkthough for no haven somewhere? i played a bunch of it and interested to figure out what i missed

There is a wiki which you can find a link to on the No Haven page here. Not something under my control though so no idea if there’s a walkthrough out there. 

Anonymous said: watch as your posts get flagged anyway tho *shrug*

Been over a month and no flagged posts so worked out how to handle that apparently :D

Anonymous said: I don't think your link in the latest blogpost is supposed to lead to some tony mo and his videogame loveletters on patreon.

Oops missed a character in the copy/paste. Thanks for the spot. 

Anonymous said: i had a idea for a no heaven maybe some content where your bed warmer slave takes control of you in bed if there dominate and your secretly submissive. and if the there a dominator or hypono they start taking more control of your over time secretly controlling you and camp form behind close door.

That’s been on the books for awhile where certain slaves will be very dangerous to have as a bedwarmer. For a start those mantras coming in the next update just might end up being used on you in future updates. 

joyfullyunadulteratedruins said: Is the Hypnopics thread gone? That's the only way I can download No Haven now, and the download link here is still on version 0.821

Looks to be still there to me?

Anonymous said: [no haven 0.832] imgur a/d4SJMAC is it intentional that a fel person doesn't want to get corrupted?

[no haven 0.832] imgur /a/J0ooMqC the love being desecrated drone until entirely embedded sounds to me like the check doesn't have to be done anymore, but I keep having to do it.

Yeah for some reason they may not always think that you have their best interests at heart :)

That other one is a temporary bodge of their thoughts to overwhelm their resistance. In future though there will be more permanent alterations possible like with slaves in the next update. 

Anonymous said: Could we, in the future, have a fourth-wall option to discard a slave or slaver? No reward given, just a simple deletion. It's happened to me a few times where assignments that involve specific slaves - such as the lamia in Dance the Night Away or the drow males in the Deep Mtns quest - bug out at the turn in and leave behind a slave you cannot get rid of. Also been numerous times where I've gotten an abysmal roll on a slaver and had to wait for a guaranteed disaster quest to get rid of them.

Previous anon here who was asking for the fourth-wall purge. Yes, I am aware that there's a quest to remove unwanted slavers. However, since you can't reliably force it to pop, its usefulness is inconsistent at best. Also, it gives a payout and only works on slavers - the purge I'm asking for would be more universal and give nothing. Just a convenient deletion to improve gameplay. The accompanying picture could be a screaming stickman being sucked into a black hole.

I’d prefer to fix bugs rather than do workarounds if possible. Been down that path before and it only complicate things badly. 

The reason why there’s no outright dismiss a slaver is that from the beginning on of the challenges I wanted was some of your own slavers so just booting them would lose a lot of fun possibilities. 

Saying that I do want to do more with morale/reputation so that slavers have a chance to get fed up enough that you can drive them away. I’m also planning a new assignment which will be a risk free depending on choices way to dump unwanted slaves without need for chancing the Whore Makers.  

Anonymous said: Hi! Thank you for for that great game! Some questions about the future: 1) Will we have any mechanics with C:Devices and C:Enchantment in the near future? 2) Any plans to expand the list of slave trainings with anal/vaginal tranings or something else?

Thank you!

Maybe not near, near future, but certainly sooner rather than later as both I want to have as encampment roles. Next update also has some of the groundwork for enchanting. 

Yes absolutely more training is coming including bimbo training in the next update. 

nh-maikochan said: Bug report: Had a slaver level up and had the option for the aspect "Friends in High Places", however, when I clicked on -View Choices-, it instead gave me the entry for "A Friend in Every Port", however the text for that made reference to Scouting the Deep Mountains instead of the Dreadsea Coast. "Aspect: A Friend in Every Port - Requires Friendly and two Scout the Deep Mountains Success or Crits, awards an additional two assignments on Scout the Deep Mountains Success or Crit results."

So just had an interesting bug. I took a slave to auction, my camp leader going along on the assignment, got a critical result, and while the assignment said that the slave was sold, she ended up coming back with me. Some factors that may have had an effect: Had gotten word that bimbo slaves were in demand, and the slave was indeed a bimbo and my leader has Inquisitor, which activated giving me an assignment.

First one I’ve sorted for the update. 

Other was that slave bimboborn? Cause I think that might be causing issues with selling. 

Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think about oppotunity not only gain new perks when slaver lvl up, but to remove existing ones, such as Unruly or Reserved for example? Thank you!

My current plan is to use hypnotic to tackle those unwanted mental traits. Certainly not a bad idea though. 

Decided that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to pull in questions from other sources to give as much info as possible out in one place at one time. So going forward I’m also going to be including some of the questions asked elsewhere along with including the answers I made. 

From TFGames: I'm a little confused as to biomancy and hypnotism and changing other characters. The odds seem to really not like being "in the field" but I can't figure out where else to be? Also, I can't seem to figure out what hypnotic triggers actually do when you put them on a slaver. Is there a way to alter someone's personality via hypnotism or domination? In terms of customization and exporting... is it just the char-gen where you can export a character? Is there a way to say, see a slave get captured, manipulate or change them via training and influence, turn them into a slaver and then export that character and see what happens on their career? Alternatively, is there a way to change the names of the slaves you capture and slavers you recruit? For say, immersion purposes >.> Or generate and specify your own "number two" ?

Hypnotic triggers on slavers currently are used for respect checks which are when a slaver doesn't want to do something like go whore themselves out, where a slutty outfit, or be corrupted and you need to persuade them. Using the triggers is a lot more effective than some of the other options. In the next update triggers will also be used on slaves to help with their training and unlock new bonuses. In future those slave mantras will be able to be used on anyone including yourself, and I'm also planning extra usage to deal with annoying traits like reserved and unhinged. Currently it's just the main character. I'd like to do more, but given I also want to move away from rags I'm not planning to do anything with it for now. There is an option to nickname under help and options. I don't think it's ideal though in the current implementation and it needs another look sometime.

From TFGames: Is there any get mind controlled content besides the "dreams" ascociated with Lacey's toy?

Being possessed is the main one which is a rare outcome from corruption which then has a bunch of follow up text at end of day, during respect checks, and leadership challenges. The Quick as You Like mini-adventure if you go on it assignment has MC content, especially if you 'win' the race. There's the hidden cults when you go into town where you can lose control. There also might be some assignments that have a bit of MC action if you go on them. If you're submissive there's also mind control content in the story line assignment to unlock the hidden area and slave auctions.

From the Patreon: A suggestion to add more interplay with your slavers in NH - in the "Talk" menu add a topic called "ask for rumours" where you can ask your slavers if they have any leads/tips. Depending on certain factors they could offer you a tip-off for a mission (type & quality determined by slavers type and your relation with them), to be added to your list, in exchange for gold/supplies/days off/sexual favours. Could also lead into leadership challenges if you rely too much on a slaver. Slavers could also have an x% chance of approaching you for a chat each day and ask you for things and you could choose what to charge them (no charge leads to a relation increase, refusing outright leads to a decrease). Would be a way of getting slavers to wear things/do things that they otherwise wouldn't and vice-versa. Looking forward to the update.

That's a really neat idea. Added it to my to do list.

[imadethisatage11]

Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw

Spoilers under the cut

TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me

- ok so that woman got robbed and for what

- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???

- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao

- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you

- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️

- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu

- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF

- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽

- ayo Max Minghella

- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock

- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue

- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID

- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?

- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make

- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct

- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what

- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao

- oh yay they did run dental

- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing

- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke

- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?

- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend

- Samuel L Jackson!

- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”

- daddy issues

- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??

- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream

- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy

- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts

- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit

- love the blue tones tho very Saw

- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green

- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)

- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs

- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao

- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces

- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet

- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?

- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose

- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then

- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with

- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)

- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit

- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it

- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged

- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly

- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or

- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀

- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website

- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet

- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho

- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY

- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK

- everyone else at the crime scene: ….

- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”

- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole

- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right

- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me

- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?

- was this abt his dad the whole time???

- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society

- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with

- there’s a body here suspended

- not hanging mind you

- but covered and suspended

- and I bet it’s the newbie

- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing

- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was

- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?

- I think it’s too late pal

- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though

- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive

- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??

- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun

- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB

- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”

- what a fun villain though

- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella

- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??

- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe

- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke

- shot the target! Good man

- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn

- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is

- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery

- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon

- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad

- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music

[gfriendlighting460]

Dating Sites With Trans Option

Brook Shelley’s previous work for The Toast can be found here, and our previous coverage of trans* issues can be found here.

Hearing about people being afraid of or not open to dating a trans person is just one reason why it is so hard to date as a trans person. And even though I have heard it many times before, it is still hard to confront. I looked at eight popular dating sites to see which are the most gender inclusive. Dating only trans people, at least here in my local community, do not seem like a realistic option since we are too few. Finding the right person would be next to impossible. Well, that was my 2 cents on that. I,m actually surprised by the comments so far. TRANSGENDER, PANSEXUAL, LESBIAN, GAY, GENDER-FLUID, Bi-SEXUAL & NON-BINARY DATING SITE & SUPPORT. We are a Transgender, Pansexual, Lesbian, Gay, Gender-fluid, Bi-sexual & Non-Binary dating site where you can find support, make friends, talk to others about their journey, look for love and so much more. Reddit’s r/t4t subreddit is essentially a personals-style online dating forum for transgender people. While it’s not as detailed as more established trans dating sites, this subreddit is designed.

Welcome to lesbian trans womanhood. I know, we aren’t supposed to say that. Welcome anyway. Let’s assume you know two things: that you are a woman, and that you like other women. Good. That’s a fine place to start. Follow along, and we will get you from this humble beginning, to being a real-live dater.

Take a deep breath. Ready?

1. First, lower your expectations. Whatever you think might happen in the next few paragraphs, or in the next few months, expect less.

Dating Sites With Trans Options

This isn’t in reference to any particular difficulty facing trans women, though there are many; it is always helpful to lower your expectations. Low expectations mean high excitement at small success.

For example, if you expect to dance alone at a bar, you will be thrilled to find that someone beautiful is dancing with you. Repeat as needed.

2. Next, create an online dating profile. OkCupid, Match, or Tinder; it doesn’t really matter where, but you’ll need one. This is how you meet shy lesbians. You may be shy yourself. This could be the best place for you.

3. Spend quite a bit of time agonizing over the photos and your description and hobbies. Be clever. Be charming. Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?” Hear them laugh a little. Tell them, “No, I’m serious. Is any of this good?”

4. Take their advice. If they have no advice, find some other friends. Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. You will not notice this on your own.

5. While you wait for responses, go find the queerest bar nearby. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you. Dance. Get used to dancing. The music will likely not be great. Get used to a mix of pop hits, Shakira, and Bikini Kill. Don’t try to explain why Kathleen Hanna is problematic while dancing.

6. Wonder, “why do so many of these girls have bow-ties on?”

There is no answer.

7. Assume they must not be able to take them off. Do not offer to help them take their bow-ties off. Just dance away.

8. Flirt. Often.

9. Hone your ability to turn a conversation into a fun tête-à-tête. Read the face and responses of the other people. Assume that at any moment, they might sour, and you will need to disengage. Be lighthearted. Be friendly. Don’t press anyone, and focus on enjoying yourself. Cool people enjoy themselves. Cool people are definitely not sweating horribly, right now, as they dance around the room, hoping for a match. When someone asks how you are doing, never mention the harassment, mis-gendering, or stress you’re going through. They don’t actually want to know that stuff yet. Talk to your aforementioned friends about those.

10. Hear, “wow, you’re tall,” at most of these events. Kiss a few people, gently. Brace yourself for the inevitable pre-hookup question or revelation about your body or identity. Practice explaining why “biological woman” is ridiculous. Use lines like “Of course I’m a biological woman, and not a cyber woman… or a giant snake.” At no point be seen unhinging your jaw to devour a goat.

Also try, “Hi, this is how my body works… and this is what I like.”

11. Be prepared for some rejection at this point. Practice your smile and, “Ok, that’s fine, I had fun,” response to “I can’t sleep with you now,” or “I’m just not attracted to (your genitals),” or “I’m a gold star lesbian, I can’t sleep with you.” You may also hear, “you’re so brave.”

12. Find ways to forgive them in your heart for being such shitheels.

13. Be surprised when not everyone rejects you. Bask in the glow of reciprocal attraction when it does occur – it may be rare. You may want to high-five the women who are still attracted to you, regardless of what you discuss. Resist. High-fives are firmly in second date territory.

14. Check your phone. Oh, your mom called. Call your mom back. Remind her that you won’t be meeting any nice boys because you are a lesbian. Yes, you might want to settle down. No, there’s not much going on lately. Yes, you’re really a lesbian. No, this isn’t a phase. Yes, you did get the dress she sent… it’s… nice. Tell her you love her. Hang up.

15. Check your phone again. There sure are a lot of biologists on your online dating site.

How’d they get access to my karyotype? Did they take a blood sample?

What’s that game? You know the one… Where complete strangers ask you about your genitals? https://gfriendlighting460.tumblr.com/post/655947581619388416/dating-anyone-in-carrboro-nc. You’ll be playing this whether you like it or not a lot more often now. It is not possible to win this game.

Does Tinder Have A Trans Option

16. Use some of your flirting skills from being at the bar while you are online. Realize those skills don’t translate. A lot of people online are too shy to go out, so they will not know how to respond to you. You may be seen as forward, or at least not shy enough. Carry on.

17. Talk about books. Talk about food. Talk about anything but how you’ll probably never meet up, and if you do, there won’t be a second date. There often isn’t a second date.

18. Get ready to hear a lot of very surface-level readings of Judith Butler. Take heed that many of your fellow women have taken exactly one women’s and gender studies course in college, and “know all about being transgendered.” (sic) Be prepared to hear girls talk about how they’re “not really feminists, because they like to have fun.” Feel free to shake your head and pour a drink. Get better at reading through their answers to weed out the ubiquitous racism, transmisogyny, littering, and incompatible goals. Remember that you don’t have to settle.

19. You should probably have a pet. I should have said this at the beginning. Choose: cat or dog. Go adopt your choice animal. Start at the top. I can wait. You may be alone for a while.

20. Find a partner or dater. At some point, you will succeed. You will feel like you won the lesbian lottery. You will be elated in your heart that someone cares about you, and wants to kiss you… like more than once a week. High fives may be appropriate at this point.

These dating sites aren’t just for women either. The detailed description of the freebie is published on the blog. Find society & people themes in the same name category at Template/p Read More. JerkBoy – This app has been called the most honest, accurate dating service out there. It’s a tool for users to showcase. 18-25 years old; 26-39 years old and looking for short-term fun; 26-39 years old and looking for girlfriend material; 40+ years old; The Best Dating Apps For Men Ages 18 To 25 1. Tinder is the most popular dating app in the US. You probably have a buddy who met his girlfriend on it. Step further like for example most dating websites, if you want to actually communicate with other members then you need to subscribe to a membership and you get full benefits of the website. If you're serious then out of those 3 go with Match. You will definitely get hit up, probably too many to count and you'll most likely make a ton of guys wonder why girls never respond hahaha. Dating was created and is run by Dan and a group year techies who truly care about what they do. Security and privacy dating top olds at Teens Town, which is why the olds verifies every member and ensures dating no adult content shows up on the site. Teens Town also every to help you have fun and connect with your fellow teens. ★★★★★ Match.com 4.8/5.0. Our expert ratings are based on factors such as. Best dating websites for 19 year olds.

21. Prepare yourself for anyone you date to be called a chaser. It doesn’t matter if they actually care about you for who you are as a person, there are many who enjoy distilling you to your transgender history. Gird your loins against the barbs flung at you and your partner. Learn to laugh, and to cry. Embrace being a really hot lesbian with a super amazing girlfriend. It’s pretty great.

22. Laugh to yourself at all the ridiculously sad people who would want to hurt you and your partner. Try to not be burned by them with every single uneducated, casual insult. It will sting, but you can be strong.

23. But, most of all, have fun! Being a lesbian trans woman is probably the best thing in the world. Be proud of yourself. Be excited. You get to kiss other girls.

Elite dating site. Questions about online dating? Enjoy our ultimate online dating guide; Interracial Dating. If there were previously stereotypes, preconceptions or presumptions about interracial dating, these outdated attitudes are transforming as more and more American singles are seeking partners from other ethnic groups, and couples’ relationships no longer being defined along racial lines. It’s fair to say that our interracial dating community represents the enlightened majority in American society. A Gallup poll in 2013 found that 96% of black people and 84% of white people approve marriage between blacks and whites. This means that 87% of Americans overall see no problem with black-white marriage, up from a meager 4% in 1958 1. Interracial dating: meeting singles serious about love. According to Statistics Canada, the number of long-term Canadian couples in partnerships that can be described as mixed unions has doubled over the last 20 years. 1 For those in lesbian relationships or gay. Interracial dating in SA: meet singles who suit you. When you search for interracial dating sites it can be tough to find supportive platforms that encourage long-term commitment. At EliteSingles, however, we cater for South African men and women who desire more from love; making us the dating site to use if you’re looking for compatible. Interracial dating: meeting singles serious about love. According to the Office of National Statistics, almost one in 10 people living in Britain is married to or living with someone from outside their own ethnic group. Clearly, there are single men and women in the UK for whom interracial dating.

Brook is a queer trans woman living in Portland who hangs out with her cat, and does all manner of technical magic for a software company. She travels as often as possible, and can often be found on her couch, reading and enjoying a cider.

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[efortmanteau]

Mouth Dreams!

MOUTH DREAMS IS OUT!!!!!! 

Neil Cicierega has produced another mashup album in the Mouth series, so it’s time for me to do a blind album listen. 

I’m just listening to the full album file on Neil’s website while I type so I can’t see track titles… so I’ll guess at them! A fun little mini game.

You can listen online or download the album on Neil’s site: http://www.neilcic.com/mouthdreams/

1. Yahoooooooo! Prelude

The first song is just the Yahoo! jingle with the “hooooo” increasingly long

And eventually going into a round!

I’m not sure what the orchestral backing is, probably from a movie

2. Intro to Mouth Dreams

Intro to The Twilight Zone but the words are all over the place lol

Hey! “Mouth Dreams” that’s the title of the album! Gee willickers!

3. We Will Sponge You

We Will Rock You by Queen… oh.

It’s the intro to Spongebob Squarepants

Alright hell yeah

This is so stupid but so well done dear lord

4. Folsom Prison Baby Blues

Oh no… that emo band… I forget them

HOOBASTANK that’s it. The Reason

I don’t actually know this other song.

Oh jk he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

I think that’s Johnny Cash? Idk the title of the song though.

JUSTIN BEIBER’S BABY

Alright we’re fucking around with “baby” lyrics?

“My momma was a train” lol

“When I was just a train”

“I shot a traaaaaain” yes yes yes

Okay, I looked up the Johnny Cash song to come up with a track title guess.

5. Can’t Touch This Psycho Killer OR Bed’s On Fire

Can’t Touch This! I think the song is called Superfreak though?

Hmmm what’s this other song…

Bed’s on fire

Psycho killer… bed’s on fire… looooool

Ok that song is maybe called Psycho Killer

I’m just waiting for fa-fa-fa-fa-faaaa-fafa-faaaa-fafa-faaaaa-FIRE

Hell yeah saxophone

Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah to the cadence of runrunrunrunrunnnnn

6. Harpsichord Interlude?

Harpsichord?

I can’t quite make out the lyrics cuz they’re slowed down…

Get Happy, alright

I’m not sure if this is the same song of the last thing was an interlude but it seems like the harpsichord thing persisted soooo maybe the same?

Well maybe this is the only lyric now

The word “happy” has no meaning to my ears any more

Hmm techno kinda beats in the back… reminds me of the back of a Black Eyed Peas song or something

7. Ribs OR Everybody Wants Chili’s Baby Back Ribs

Dreamy triplets

I want my baby back ribs?????

Oh shit what is that guitar riff…

Haaaaaaaaa Chiliiiiiii’s baby back riiiiibs

I don’t wantcha I don’t needcha… oh gosh

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

Hahaha the Lion King has snuck in here for “In The Jungle”

OH the guitar backing is Everybody Wants To Rule The World (or whatever the real song title is)

8. Dream Stew

Dream On by Aerosmith

This was in the trailer, yes

Brain Stew by Green Day

My mouth my mouth my mouth

“My face is… my face” is the perfect amount of clunky

9. Do Wanna Miss A Thing

Everclear? Everlong? 

I think it’s the Foo Fighters???

Lol the vibrato on this other song is wild

“I don’t miss you baby and I do wanna miss a thing” looool

Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing… idk the band off hand

10. Sleeping With My Clothes On

Lol just… staccato beats with the bass dropping whenever it wants

Blink 182?? Own Worst Enemy?

I see sleeping with clothes on and I raise you... wearing PJs all day (like me)

11. That’s Amore OR Drunk Italians

ITALIAN PIZZA PIE

Lol the lyrics are of course backwards

The wiggly accordion...

BELLS

We’re just tossing noun phrases around like a juggler

Fading out in nightmarish ways as we transition to the next song...

PiiIiIiiIIIzzA

12. Stacy’s Mom’s Pool

“stop.”

Uhhh is this Weezer?

Omg Stacy’s MOM

It think it’s Say It Ain’t So by Weezer

We’re gonna hear a lot about this pool

Hmm it’s not Say It Ain’t So…

It might be In My Mind

More dreamy transitions

13. Noogie OR Cookie

Omg what is this Amazonian flute

Ooooh funky

SHAQ??

The siiiize of these eeeyeeeees

Is this “How I Beat Shaq” ??

Nah, I think this is a song I don’t know

I did it all for the noogie!

Idk if the backing song is the same song as the front… I’m just not familiar with these ones

Surrender… my cookie!

I feel like the Home Improvement jingle is gonna slip in here

14. Never mind i think this is one long song

Han Solo?

This is maybe a different song

Some sort of Star Wars word soup with a CAKE-esque bass backing?

Is this a child’s chorus? Sesame Street?

I wonder who did the Star Wars song… 

Oh maybe this is one long song after all…

14. Crazy: Now On VHS

This sounds like a VHS jingle…

Oh lol there it is

Yep yep yep yep yep give me them ALL Neil!

Oh good the loooooong note

Ooh what just came in?

She Drives Me Crazy? Ooh Ooh?

Oh yeah, nailed it… but idk the band again

Lol there’s like 20 more minutes we’re only ⅔ through or so

Ooh I like whatever this four note repetition is

15. Now On VHS! Interlude

And now… our feature presentation…

The Outsiders??

Pony Boy?

We’re just… naming things?

I assume this is one of those old VHS pre-movie commercials where someone is talking about what a great deal this 3-pack of discs is or something

BUMBLEBEE TUNA

Tag urself.... I’m DEATH

I’m literally loling at DEATH

Kid Cuisineeeee

Lonesome guitar coming in…

And… LOL

Rick Astley and A CROWD OF BOOS

Lean in, Neil. Embrace the chaos.

Never Gonna Give You Up is a pretty good song actually

Oh the guitar might be Hurt by… whoever did that

16. Closer To Fireflies

Drop the Arctic Monkeys you coward

Fireflies and Suffocate Me instead

That’s not the title… Fuck you like an animal…

I’d like to------make myself believe (not------PENETRATE YOU) but I see where this came from

Closer To God, that’s right

This and the Spongebob one are my favs so far

17. Benny And The Best

Benny And The Jets…

Uhhh I’m not sure about the punk song

The Best? The Best? The Best? Arouuuund? Is this also the Foo Fighters? U2?

I’m not sure this is its own song

18. Factory With A Girl

UHHH this stressful video game music…

It’s like the factory song from cartoons, not a video game specifically

Fell In Love With A Girl

Oooh jk this my fav, it’s so jazzy

Oh god the manic energy of the “ahhhhhh” part

I think Jet is the band?

This makes me want to walk down the street in a zoot suit snapping every other beat

19. WAHNNABE

WHAT IS IT GOOOOOD FOR

Wait omg it’s WAH

WAH-NNABE

WAH Wario?

WAH… what is it good for loooool

20. Feel Good LLC

Sheep noises?

FEEL GOOD intro laugh

Oh this is unhinged

Omg that music in the back sounds like what going crazy is like, it’s like an evil carnival

The Gorillaz, always good

Lol the sheep noises at the end

21. Irony On Elm Street

Ironic by Alanis Morrisette… okay

He died the next day… then turned 98…

It’s an old man in your chardonnay

IT’S LIKE RAIN omg idk the backing but it’s ominous

I swear to god this backing is from like Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween or something

Kissed his spoons goodbye

I think it’s whatever horror movie has Jason who I think is the one in the hockey mask?

It’s exactly like 10,000 spoons

22. idk

The winds of Skype

Uhhh some kind of 80s ballad is fading in

SMASH MOUTH YOU’RE HERE

All Star is warbled

WAKE UP

23. Britney’s Fifth

Beethoven’s Fifth?

IT’S BRITNEY, BITCH

Oh fuck yes this is one million percent my jam

24. Hall Of Weezer

HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING

Omg I love classical mashups

BANJO KAZOOIE SLEEPING NOISE OMG

Oh lol this is Weezer Say It Ain’t So

Oh gosh the tempo speed up is impressive for the Weezer song which is usually at a steady tempo! Dear god how long did this take to sync…

Modem load up noise… nice

And that’s the album! I might respond to myself and add a retrospective later once I find the track titles.

[progeny-ex-machina]

Concept: Fallen Washington

They knew the Raving Plutocrat was unhinged. They never expected him to sell a city to a bunch of giant space bats. Seriously, what the fuck?

Idea-dump, because it won’t leave my head.

I noticed that all the Cities -- past, present, and mentioned candidates for future -- are/were capitals, and that their leaders all lived in them, so this only works if you assume President Dump Truck properly moved into the White House.

But it’s an alternate universe anyway because *whispers* this stuff isn’t real

What did Mr. Potato Head get from the deal: idk, probably more money or something.

And what the fuck is happening on the Surface? Nobody knows. Nobody wants to know. I sure don’t want to know, and I’ll be one of the ones stuck up here.

This is probably the Seventh City but could be the Sixth if certain parties manage to stall for long enough without getting dumped down a well. I’m not an expert on the whole affair, I just know what I’ve read on TV Tropes, don’t ask me

Either way, there’s a huge jump in technology between the previous City and this one, and the remaining denizens of past Cities have to deal with it.

Hilarity ensues.

I mean, this is all serious business to the people in-universe, but to us it’d be great.

Basically think modern FL AU but without the L. The L is over. Our favorite and most love-to-hate characters are all still around to fuck shit up though. No fun in an AU without familiar characters (besides Space Crab and the Crabettes).

Speaking of technology, what happened to the internet? It’s complicated. I don’t think it disappeared entirely, because society would fall apart in days and it’d be Second City II: This Time You Don’t Have Five More Chances. You can still access some things. Games. Research. Many websites have some pages available and others gone forever. The key is, you can’t use the internet to communicate with anyone on the Surface. So, let’s say, you could read fics on FFN, but you couldn’t review, post your own fics, or PM anyone.

Phones are the same. You can call anyone, so long as you’re both on the same side of the ground. Apps work. Microtransactions don’t. There’s no TV. Sorry.

Google Maps doesn’t work either, which is a little bit of a pain because the streets have been warped into a Boston-like mire that nobody can fucking navigate.

Without the hindrance of coal and fossil fuels actually being around to fuel greed, people finally started to use other energy sources. (To fuel things other than greed. Also, to fuel greed.) Solar and wind power are off-limits, but there is still moving water, and some of the stuff that exists down here is surprisingly potent in...electrical potential. ...I’m not a scientist. Artistic license.

Cars? Electric cars didn’t get far enough to be a thing in the Neath, so the gas ran out and maybe people had to get used to horses and carts again. Or something. My goal is to merge the aesthetics so it’s not just “2018 but with candlelight” or “1800s but with more scrap metal because everything stopped working”.

As for society, well, it’s not too different from how it was in the Fifth. There are still insurgents, artists, cops, rich snobs, poorly-supervised orphans, and the rest. Their sensibilities may be more modern, but the breakdown of physical law has inevitably led to a breakdown of other things, such as social standards. I guess I just can’t see a Fallen City without its cliques factions.

The other humanoid species are also present, of course. (Maybe it’s not realistic, but I claim artistic license: racists have pretty much gone “holy shit, what do non-white people matter now that we’re stuck with all these non-human abominations?” So...humanity is just as united as ever, which is to say, it’s not.) The devils are particularly pleased, because with every Fallen City, there must come a new Fallen Leader...and this time, there’s hell toupee.

My contract says that everything I write must include at least one terrible pun.

Anyway, given that said leader is now pretty much powerless other than still being considered part of high society, the insurgents are of course plotting against their new bat-like overlords. Led by the remnants of a council, its members much older than they look, the new revolutionaries quickly claimed the Washington Monument as their territory. Somebody had to.

Other landmarks and notable areas (I don’t know much about DC, okay) are also “owned” by various factions. The rooftops once again belong to the children.

This obviously isn’t a complete rundown of all that’s going on in this AU, because I’m not goddamn Tolkien. My brain has only given me so much ridiculousness; it’s up to you guys to extrapolate more ridiculousness from it.

As for a certain ill-advised game path that fascinated me enough to create an account in the first place...well, here’s where it gets especially fun for me.

Some things are known: there are nine Masters, though at least two are suspected to be the same entity. Deep in the almost-realm of things best left alone, there is a pair of barely-beings. Knowledge about the First has been passed down among the Seekers: it is called Eaten; it was betrayed; it penetrates dreams and lures mortals to destroy themselves in the way it was destroyed.

As for the Second, there’s not quite as much information available, and so of course there are many more rumors. Was it also betrayed? Or was it a betrayer, driven mad by guilt or nightmares, who followed the path of its victim -- Seeking not a Name, but absolution? Both of those speculations are dangerous.

There are safer speculations, for a certain definition of safety. Was it ever alive at all, or is it an amalgamation of the last shreds of spirit left behind by those who Sought and Found? Is it a reflection of the original? Unlikely. It differs from its counterpart in too many ways. It cannot speak in dreams, but it can harm you still. Speak not of it. Seek not its Name. It is Not, and that is all.

And so this: the people whose lives were based on technology and now must find new and creative ways to regain some of what they’ve lost; the shuffling of society, people drawn ever more urgently to those more like themselves; the abrupt change of this post from casual writing into this pretentious poesy: these are some of the parts that make up a potential future.

Oh, and that post about McDonald’s? Yeah, it happens from time to time. The first drive-thru employee to hear a shrill whisper of “I’ll have a burger with no tomatoes, a large fry, and the vague imitation of Dr. Pepper you mortals have created” nearly had a heart attack. Because some things never change.

Along that line: don’t forget about the “hilarity ensues” part. People from previous Cities adjusting to all the technology and culture people brought with them from 2018? That’s a gold platinum mine. Smartphones. Harry Potter. Memes.

I have actually finished a writing thing, even if it’s not proper prose. This may be the best, worst, or most “eh” thing you’ve ever read, but it was a triumph.

[veronicasanders]

Tagged by my love @wednesdayangeline WHO I AM SO PROUD OF RIGHT NOW!!! SHE KNOWS WHY!!! <3 <3 <3

Your last: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Dad. This is actually funny. He asked me if I wanted to go out for pizza last night but I’d just put all my casual normal pants (like jeans, etc) in the laundry so I was like “can you bring the pizza back here to the house?” and he lost his mind about how he doesn’t want to eat cold pizza!!! wahhhh! “I’m going to get a burger then!” So then he called me from the burger place and very quietly asked if I wanted a veggie burger. 3. Text message: “WHAT THE FUCK LOLOLOLOLOL” to my friend after he send me a super embarrassing video of me babbling incoherantly, drunk and in my underwear, after the Madonna concert in Boston last year.

4. Song you listened to: "You Don’t Own Me” - the Grace version featuring G-Eazy and if you don’t have it you SHOULD

5. Time you cried: oh god. Um. In my car on Friday? 

Have you ever: 6. Dated someone twice: Like two dates, or broken up and back together? Because the first one, yes. Second one, no. Unless you count casual sex.  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. Been cheated on: I’ve never had a long enough relationship for this to be an issue 9. Lost someone special: yes but not romantically (same Wednesday) 10. Been depressed: Yes, but luckily they have meds for it. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes. It’s the worst. And the reason I don’t drink tequila.

3 favourite colours: Rainbow, glitter, and neon

In the last year have you: 15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: Yeah I do that on the regular 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Sure...

19. Met someone who changed you: Ummmm....maybe? I dunno. I haven’t changed very much in the last year. 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess? I feel like this is fluid though... 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: All the time. lol

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost every single one. 23. Do you have any pets: a very spoiled puppy 24. Do you want to change your name: my last name, yes

25. What did you do for your last birthday: brunch and day drinking with my friends, dinner at my fave molecule gastronomy restaurant with my parent, and also volunteered at a homeless shelter that my aunt runs on my actual birthday 26. What time did you wake up: Today? Like 9ish. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Moving to Sweden! 29. When was the last time you saw your mum: May, when we went to NJ for my cousin’s wedding.  31. What are you listening to right now: Chow Down (Willam/DWV) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Probably like 200. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Conservative media and “alternative facts.” Actually that’s not getting on my nerves as much as it’s making me psychotically fucking angry 34. Most visited website: google docs 35. Hair colour: Dark brown  36. Long or short hair: long/mid-back 37. Do you have a crush on someone: Not unless you count my pretend wife Rachel Maddow or my pretend girlfriend Courtney Act. 38. What do you like about yourself: Intelligence/Compassion 39. Piercings: Ears only 40. Blood type: O+

41. Nickname: V 42. Relationship status: single   43. Zodiac: Pisces 44. Pronouns: she/her

45. Favourite TV show: Too many but at the moment I’m watching: Drag Race, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Chelsea, Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, Degrassi, Sense8, Last Week Tonight, Veep, Game of Thrones, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of New York City

There’s no 46th question what

47. Right or left handed: right 48. Surgery: I had a disc replacement in my cervical spine. That was fun. 49. Sport: No thanks. Although I sometimes like figure skating or that one with the ribbons. 50. Vacation: Tahiti, Greece, Sydney for Mardi Gras, Argentina, South Africa 51. Pair of trainers: What are these? Are these sneakers?

More General: 53. Eating: Fine dining, esp tapas and healthy food that doesn’t taste healthy  54. Drinking: Water and coconut water 55. I’m about to: Pretend to unpack but actually spend most of the day fucking about 56. Waiting for: the application period to start for Lund University 2018 fall semester 57. Want: to be living in Sweden 58. Get married: Are you asking? Are you an EU citizen? 59: Career: Working with LGBT+ youth and/or refugees, keep writing for fun and maybe publish something once in awhile

Which is Better: 60. Hugs or kisses: Depends. ;) 61. Lips or eyes: Like to eat? 62. Shorter or taller: everyone is taller than me (same!) But I do get super excited when I meet someone shorter. My sister in law is 4′11″ and therefore she’s my favorite person. 63. Older or younger: for dating or general merriment? I get along better with younger people in general, probably. 64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Uh. I’m sorry I’m just picturing someone with like super toned sexy arms and a massive gut and I can’t stop laughing. Or like, rock hard abs and rubbery arms that reach the ground. This question is silly. How about no one needs to be perfect but they need to feel comfortable in their own skin? 65. Hook-up or relationship: Hook-ups 66. Troublemaker or hesitant: I mean I would say troublemaker as long as it’s good natured trouble that doesn’t hurt anyone. Shenanigans. Not like property damage or things that will get us arrested.

Have You Ever: 67. Kissed a stranger: Yeah like tons. 68. Drank hard liquor: Yes.

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No?

70. Turned someone down: Yes but I’m kind of an indirect wuss about it. 71. Sex on the first date: I’ve had sex with someone I met that night? So...is that a “date”? 72. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so? Maybe but she was a little unhinged before I got there. 73. Had your heart broken: No 74. Been arrested: No 75. Cried when someone died: Yes 76. Fallen for a friend: Yes. Once for Real, and a few superficial crushes.

Do you believe in: 77. Yourself: Just under the the healthy amount 78. Miracles: I believe that amazing things happen for people. I don’t know if I’d call them miracles. 79. Love at first sight: That is called lust. I do believe in lust. 80. Santa Claus: Yes, my mom is real. 81. Kiss on the first date: Yes. 82. Angels: Uh. No.

Other: 83. Current best friend’s name: If I have to choose one, it would probably be my friend Kevin. But I have a lot of close friends.

84. Eye colour: Brown

85. Favourite movie: Annie, Clueless, Mean Girls, Deconstructing Harry, Paris is Burning, Polly, Sophie’s Choice, The Color Purple, Best in Show, Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Little Mermaid

Since this is super long, anyone who had the patience to actually READ it should consider themselves tagged!!!! Yes, you. Go ahead.