#a doctor and a funeral director walk into a bar ....
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enruint · 25 days ago
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careful were slender digits as they tended to the flowers,   diligently arranging them into a small bouquet.    to hold something brimming with life while they were so far removed from it had always been    an odd experience    for the vampire but perhaps it was for that reason daiji cherished such little things even more.    it was silent within the funeral home    ━━━    no services for the day yet,    time spend preparing a few things before they would evidently be swamped with work again.    humming softly do deft fingers make quick work with the flowers,    tying thin ribbons around the stem,    tugging it slightly before moving on to the next.    it's then another enters the scene and without looking up does he address the new occupant within the parlor.  
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 ❝    i can hear you,   you know.   ❞    there is a certain kind of amusement within soft voice.    ❝    what brings you here,    doctor.   ❞    it's only now that they look up from their craft,    sharp gaze fixed upon the entrance to the reception room as they wave the floral knife within their hand before pointing it at him.    ❝    don't tell me you're finally at death's door and in need of my services for a change ?  ❞   maroon hues glow with    a certain kind of mischief    not often shown to others. ⊱    @tewwor,   sc. ⊰
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dadjokestop · 2 months ago
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Ready to dive into the world of humor that walks on the wild side? Dark humor jokes have a unique way of poking fun at life’s absurdities, often leaving us chuckling even in the most unexpected moments. If you’re someone who appreciates comedy that pushes boundaries, you’ve come to the right place! Here are ten dark humor jokes with no limits that will surely make you laugh (and maybe cringe a little). 1. The Ambitious Ghost Q: Why don’t ghosts ever go out on Halloween? A: Because they’re too busy working on their boo-tiful resumes! 2. The Optimistic Undertaker Q: Why did the undertaker break up with his girlfriend? A: She just couldn’t handle his “dead”pan humor! 3. The Philosophical Zombie Q: Why don’t zombies ever eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny! 4. The Dark Joke Q: I have a joke about trickle-down economics… A: But 99% of you will never get it! 5. The Sassy Grim Reaper Q: Why did the Grim Reaper get a promotion? A: He had a killer work ethic! 6. The Patient Patient Q: What do you call a doctor who’s lost his license? A: A butcher! 7. The Unfortunate Firefighter Q: Why did the firefighter bring a ladder to the bar? A: Because he heard the drinks were on the house! 8. The Cheerful Funeral Director Q: What’s the funeral director’s favorite game? A: Monopoly—because he loves to take people’s properties! 9. The Ambitious Executioner Q: Why did the executioner start a podcast? A: He wanted to make his “chop” talk! 10. The Honest Psychopath Q: What did the psychopath say to his therapist? A: “I think I’m going to need a bigger couch!” There you have it—ten dark humor jokes that embrace the unexpected and make light of life’s more serious topics. While these jokes might not be for everyone, they can serve as a reminder that laughter can come from the most unlikely places. So, share these gems with fellow dark humor enthusiasts and enjoy a good laugh together!
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ofwrxth · 3 months ago
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CHARACTER BASICS
Name: Calvin "Cal" Hendrix / Hale Novaris
Age & Birthday: 38, July 18
Gender/Pronouns: Cis man he/him
Birthplace: The Wards / Olympia
Current Residence: The Wards / Olympia
Job/Role on The Station: Mechanic with The Phoenix Collective / Associate Director of NeuroVisions Research department
Calvin Positive personality traits: analytical, clever, determined
Calvin Negative personality traits: head strong, morally ambiguous, single-minded
Hale Positive personality traits: articulate, bold, engaging
Hale Negative personality traits: acerbic, argumentative, judgmental
ABOUT
Calvin Hendrix was born in The Wards. His parents were longstanding members of The Phoenix Collective and his dad was one of the mechanics who worked on The Bullet. Needless to say it was only natural for Cal to follow in his footsteps. He worked to become a mechanic and would tinker with various weapons and tech to help TPC.
Growing up he was quite clever, good at analyzing problems and solving them, but he could be a bit single-minded, so determined to solve a problem nothing else matters.
A few years ago it became known to TPC that a distant, many times removed family member of the Hendrixes looked shocking similar to Calvin. Practically identical, like a doppleganger. Hale Novaris had just been announced as associate director of the VR department at VitaNet and the news had trickled down to The Wards.
The leaders of TPC began to hatch a plan. With the help of some clandestine allies up top, they began to map out a path forward for Calvin to take Hale's place. Their allies helped track his movements, take clandestine videos of his mannerisms, recordings of how he speaks, notes on how he works and walks and breathes and eats. Passwords slipped from his work accounts. It's all been collected over the years, passed down to Calvin who studied every single note.
On August 3, their plan was enacted. Hale had gone to some of the Zero-G games on Equinox when members of TPC kidnapped him in the chaos of the discovery of Julian Verner's body. A doctor working with TPC helped use advanced tech to graft his thumbprint to Calvins, creating an almost callous on his thumbs but they're barely noticeable unless someone knows they're there. In order to full take his place, Calvin needed Hale's credentials and his bio scan. Oh, and he needed Hale to be gone for good. What's another body floated from The Wards? The powers above don't monitor the funeral airlocks due to the fact that death is just another part of life in The Wards. And wardies are hardly worth accounting for.
Since August, Calvin has been living as Hale Novaris. Thankfully Hale enjoyed a bar on Equinox, so Cal uses Hale's credentials to get to Equinox, and then uses his own to get to The Wards on occasion, or he takes The Bullet, to relay important information. He does this once a month, or if it's urgent, they meet on Equinox. Then he uses Hale's Olympia credentials to get back up top.
To make matters more complicated, Hale was engaged. To the outside eye, they looked like the perfect couple, even with Cal's intel. What no one knew was their relationship was on the rocks and she was about to call it off. Hale's father has been on him to make it work since her family is on the board of ClimaSync Technologies. It's added another layer to this entire ordeal that Cal didn't anticipate.
Along with this, the sudden death of Julian has created an air of uncertainty on Olympia, with whispers all around. Calvin is doing his best to stay on guard, working with the two TPC allies he has up top to remain undetected. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for Calvin to feed intel down to TPC, and he's determined to make it worth everything it's taken to get here.
CONNECTIONS
TPC – who know Calvin's involvement and maybe helped him kill Hale to take his place
TPC SYMPATHIZERS – on Olympia or Equinox who helped make it possible to get the info on Hale
OLYMPIA – Hale's old connections on Olympia who might notice that their friend seems a little bit different these days
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honeystwiggypeach · 2 years ago
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Could you do something along the lines of Mattsukawa introducing his very pregnant girlfriend to his friends and they are all shocked. They thought you were made up since they never met her (maybe she has a hectic work schedule and the timing just never happened).
You go out for drinks with them (obviously you aren't drinking) and they tell you so many embarassing stories about Mattsun and by the end of the night it's like you're one of gang, Mattsun feels happy knowing you and his friends get along well.
Omg bestie??? I love this, y’all are so smart you guys have just so many great ideas like what??😭tysm for requesting and sharing your idea!!! This is so great I’m gonna melt into a puddle rn🥰😭if anyone wants to see more or anything else let me know because I literally love requests so much!!
I did make reader work at the same funeral home as Mattsun because I’d assume that’s how they met when in college!
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Tw- cursing, drinking, pregnant reader, baby is refered to as being small(in comparission to a newborn when she’s still in the womb by Mattsun because I suck at coming up with funny things😞) let me know if I missed anything!!
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Whenever Matsukawa told any of his friends about you they’d exchange a look that said, “really? This again?” As much as he hated it their wasn’t much he could do to prove them wrong.
He showed them photos of you but they told him you had to be photoshopped in because no way in hell he’d been dating you since your freshman year of college and they still hadn’t met you.
“Guys, y/n’s pregnant…I’m gonna be a dad” he told them over drinks one night, you were fine with him going out at night since you’d have to cover night shifts for wakes sometimes and than other times paperwork would pile up from the director not doing their job. Other nights that you didn’t manage wakes, Mattsun did, for a long time, the only time you two saw eachother was at work and it sucked ass.
Though now that you’re on maternity leave, you’re finally able to spend time with your fiancé and meet his friends!
So of course when Issei brought up the idea of going to a bar and grill with his friends you were on board, “just to be clear you cannot drink” he repeats and you raise a brow.
“Clearly not Issei” you place your hands on your baby bump, you were nearing eight months pregnant and hadn’t thought of touching a lick of alcohol since you’d found out you were pregnant.
Of course when he walked in with you wrapped around his arm very clear belly on display he could hear Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki chattered in disbelief.
He’s got a smug smile on his face as he helps you take off your sweater and purse before sitting down.
“I told you she was real!” Oikawa mutters slapping Iwaizumi’s shoulder lightly.
After introductions go around Maki is the first to ask, “so he’s like really gonna be a dad?”
You giggle softly and they can all see why Issei fell for you, “yea, feels like we’re gonna have her any day now” isseis eyes widen in worry.
“We still have two more months?”
“An expression baby” you smile sweetly and he lets out a sigh of relief.
Issei was telling the truth and from what it seems? He’d found the perfect person to balance him out.
After a few drinks and a few cups of water for you, Issei is excusing himself to the bathroom.
“Oh my god, y/n! While he’s gone let me tell you!” Tooru is a little tipsy, you can tell by the way a light pink dusts his cheek and every now and than he has to pause and lean his head against Iwa’s shoulder to catch himself.
“One time in highschool, Mattsun he” you listen to the way Oikawa wheezes before he can even finish the story.
This went on for the whole ten minutes that your fiancé was on the bathroom alternating between Tooru and Maki while Hajime their designated driver lets out occasionally snorts or adds onto their drunk retelling of events.
“Last week we went to the doctors,”you giggle a little at the memory before hearing the chair scrape against the floor.
Issei had been watching the four of you chat for a bit and he was glad you were getting along, ecstatic even, but he really didn’t need you to tell the guys that every time he went for an appointment with you he’d asked if the baby was full sized yet only to find out that she was still not the size of a newborn baby instead of just googling the size of a baby at certain gestations, in his defense he had no clue that’s how it worked.
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Let me know if you guys want to see more or anything else because I love writing requests so much!!!!
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ucflibrary · 3 years ago
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Pride Month has arrived!
While every day is a time to be proud of your identity and orientation, June is that extra special time for boldly celebrating with and for the LGBTQIA+ community (yes, there are more than lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folx in the queer community). June was chosen to honor the Stonewall Riots which happened in 1969. Like other celebratory months, LGBT Pride Month started as a weeklong series of events and expanded into a full month of festivities.
2021 is also the 5th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando where 49 members of our community were murdered on June 12, 2016. On the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library there will be display cases with items from the University Archives relating to Pulse memorials as well as a display wall honoring the lives lost. Both of these library memorials were created in partnership with UCF LGBTQ Services. UCF will also be hosting several events in June to help the community remember, grieve and grow stronger. Full listing of events is available on the Pulse Remembrance event calendar.
Additional Pulse memorial events will be hosted by the onePULSE Foundation.  An memorial archival collection from the first anniversary of the shooting can be found as part of the Resilience: Remembering Pulse in the STARS Citizen Curator collection.
In honor of Pride Month, UCF Library faculty and staff suggested books from the UCF collection that represent a wide array of queer authors and characters. Click on the read more link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.
All Adults Here by Emma Straub Emma Straub's unique alchemy of wisdom, humor, and insight come together in a deeply satisfying story about adult siblings, aging parents, high school boyfriends, middle school mean girls, the lifelong effects of birth order, and all the other things that follow us into adulthood, whether we like them to or not. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks & Kevin Carr O'Leary A gripping and triumphant tale of human compassion, is the true story of Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, who finds herself driven to the forefront of the AIDS crisis, and becoming a pivotal activist in America’s fight against AIDS. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 And the Band Played On: politics, people and the AIDS epidemic by Randy Shilts An international bestseller, a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, and made into a critically acclaimed movie, Shilts' expose revealed why AIDS was allowed to spread unchecked during the early 80's while the most trusted institutions ignored or denied the threat. One of the few true modern classics, it changed and framed how AIDS was discussed in the following years. Suggested by Becky Hammond, Special Collections & University Archives
 Big Gay Adventures in Education: supporting LGBT+ visibility and inclusion in schools edited by Daniel Tomlinson-Gray A collection of true stories by 'out' teachers, and students of 'out' teachers, all about their experiences in schools. The book aims to empower LGBT+ teachers to be the role models they needed when they were in school and help all teachers and school leaders to promote LGBT+ visibility and inclusion. Each story is accompanied by an editor’s note reflecting on the contributor’s experience and the practical implications for schools and teachers in supporting LGBT+ young people and ensuring they feel safe and included in their school communities. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services
 Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman The sudden and powerful attraction between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parents' house on the Italian Riviera has a profound and lasting influence that will mark them both for a lifetime. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
 Fun Home: a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian house, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned 'fun home, ' as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive. Suggested by Michael Furlong, UCF Connect Libraries
 Gender Queer: a memoir by Maia Kobabe; colors by Phoebe Kobabe In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, this is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 Heaven's Coast: a memoir by Mark Doty The harmonious partnership of two gay men is shattered when they learn that one has tested positive for the HIV virus. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Born on Water Island in the Virgin Islands during a hurricane, which is considered bad luck, twelve-year-old Caroline falls in love with another girl--and together they set out in a hurricane to find Caroline's missing mother. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
 Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell All Freddy Riley wants is for Laura Dean to stop breaking up with her. The day they got together was the best one of Freddy's life, but nothing's made sense since. Laura Dean is popular, funny, and SO CUTE ... but she can be really thoughtless, even mean. Their on-again, off-again relationship has Freddy's head spinning - and Freddy's friends can't understand why she keeps going back. When Freddy consults the services of a local mystic, the mysterious Seek-Her, she isn't thrilled with the advice she receives. But something's got to give: Freddy's heart is breaking in slow motion, and she may be about to lose her very best friend as well as her last shred of self-respect. Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell bring to life a sweet and spirited tale of young love that asks us to consider what happens when we ditch the toxic relationships we crave to embrace the heathy ones we need. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 LGBT Health: meeting the needs of gender and sexual minorities edited by K. Bryant Smalley, Jacob C. Warren, K. Nikki Barefoot A first-of-its-kind, comprehensive view of mental, medical, and public health conditions within the LGBT community. This book examines the health outcomes and risk factors that gender and sexual minority groups face while simultaneously providing evidence-based clinical recommendations and resources for meeting their health needs. Drawing from leading scholars and practitioners of LGBT health, this holistic, centralized text synthesizes epidemiologic, medical, psychological, sociological, and public health research related to the origins of, current state of, and ways to improve LGBT health. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
 Lived Experience: reflections on LGBTQ life by Delphine Diallo  A beautiful series of full-color portraits of LGBTQ people over the age of fifty, accompanied by interviews. Suggested by Jacqui Johnson, Cataloging
 Love is for Losers by Wibke Bruggemann When Phoebe's mother ditches her to work as a doctor for an international human rights organization, she is stuck living with her mom's best friend, Kate, and helping out at Kate's thrift shop. There she meet Emma. Phoebe tries to shield her head and her heart from experiencing love-- after all, love is for losers, right? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Man Into Woman: an authentic record of a change of sex edited by Niels Hoyer This riveting account of the transformation of the Danish painter Einar Wegener into Lili Elbe is a remarkable journey from man to woman. Einar Wegener was a leading artist in late 1920's Paris. One day his wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman to model for a portrait. It was a shattering event which began a struggle between his public male persona and emergent female self, Lili. Einar was forced into living a double life; enjoying a secret hedonist life as Lili, with Grete and a few trusted friends, whilst suffering in public as Einar, driven to despair and almost to suicide. Doctors, unable to understand his condition, dismissed him as hysterical. Lili eventually forced Einar to face the truth of his being - he was, in fact, a woman. This bizarre situation took an extraordinary turn when it was discovered that his body contained primitive female sex organs. There followed a series of dangerous experimental operations and a confrontation with the conventions of the age until Lili was eventually liberated from Einar - a freedom that carried the ultimate price. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born -- a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam -- and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 Queer Objects edited by Chris Brickell & Judith Collard Queer lives give rise to a vast array of objects: the things we fill our houses with, the gifts we share with our friends, the commodities we consume at work and at play, the clothes and accessories we wear, various reminders of state power, as well as the analogue and digital technologies we use to communicate with one another. But what makes an object queer? 63 chapters consider this question in relation to lesbian, gay and transgender communities across time, cultures and space. In this unique international collaboration, well-known and newer writers traverse world history to write about items ranging from ancient Egyptian tomb paintings and Roman artefacts to political placards, snapshots, sex toys and the smartphone. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 Real Life by Brandon Taylor A novel of rare emotional power that excavates the social intricacies of a late-summer weekend -- and a lifetime of buried pain. Almost everything about Wallace, an introverted African-American transplant from Alabama, is at odds with the lakeside Midwestern university town where he is working toward a biochem degree. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends -- some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a young straight man, conspire to fracture his defenses, while revealing hidden currents of resentment and desire that threaten the equilibrium of their community. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 Riley Can’t Stop Crying by Stephanie Boulay While his sister tries everything to help, a young boy isn't sure why he can't stop crying in this transitional picture book. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Supporting Success for LGBTQ+ Students: tools for inclusive campus practice by Cindy Ann Kilgo This book aims to serve as a one-stop resource for faculty and staff in higher education settings who are seeking to enhance their campus climate and systems of support for LGBTQ+ student success. Included are theoretical frameworks and conceptual models that can be used in practice. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services
 The City and the Pillar: a novel by Gore Vidal Jim, a handsome, all-American athlete, has always been shy around girls. But when he and his best friend, Bob, partake in “awful kid stuff,” the experience forms Jim’s ideal of spiritual completion. Defying his parents’ expectations, Jim strikes out on his own, hoping to find Bob and rekindle their amorous friendship. Along the way he struggles with what he feels is his unique bond with Bob and with his persistent attraction to other men. Upon finally encountering Bob years later, the force of his hopes for a life together leads to a devastating climax. The first novel of its kind to appear on the American literary landscape, this remains a forthright and uncompromising portrayal of sexual relationships between men. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 The Invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services
 The New Testament by Jericho Brown The world of Jericho Brown's second book, disease runs through the body, violence runs through the neighborhood, memories run through the mind, trauma runs through generations. Almost eerily quiet in even the bluntest of poems, Brown gives us the ache of a throat that has yet to say the hardest thing-and the truth is coming on fast. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 The Prophets by Robert Jones With a lyricism reminiscent of Toni Morrison, Robert Jones, Jr., fiercely summons the voices of slaver and enslaved alike, from Isaiah and Samuel to the calculating slave master to the long line of women that surround them, women who have carried the soul of the plantation on their shoulders. As tensions build and the weight of centuries—of ancestors and future generations to come—culminates in a climactic reckoning, masterfully reveals the pain and suffering of inheritance, but is also shot through with hope, beauty, and truth, portraying the enormous, heroic power of love. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Tinderbox: the untold story of the Up Stairs Lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic--families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors' needs--revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall. Yet the impassioned activism that followed proved essential to the emergence of a fledgling gay movement. Fieseler restores honor to a forgotten generation of civil-rights martyrs. Suggested by Andy Todd, UCF Connect Libraries
 Transgender: a reference handbook by Aaron Devor and Ardel Haefele-Thomas This book provides a crucial resource for readers who are investigating trans issues. It takes a diverse and historic approach, focusing on more than one idea or one experience of trans identity or trans history. The book takes contemporary as well as historic aspects into consideration. It looks at ancient indigenous cultures that honored third, fourth, and fifth gender identities as well as more contemporary ideas of what "transgender" means. Notably, it focuses not only on Western medical ideas of gender affirmation but on cultural diversity surrounding the topic. This book will primarily serve as a reference guide and jumping off point for further research for those seeking information about what it means to be transgender. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 Transnational LGBT Activism: working for sexual rights worldwide by Ryan R. Thoreson Thoreson argues that the idea of LGBT human rights is not predetermined but instead is defined by international activists who establish what and who qualifies for protection. He shows how International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) formed and evolved, who is engaged in this work, how they conceptualize LGBT human rights, and how they have institutionalized their views at the United Nations and elsewhere. After a full year of in-depth research in New York City and Cape Town, South Africa, Thoreson is able to reconstruct IGLHRC’s early campaigns and highlight decisive shifts in the organization’s work from its founding to the present day. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
 Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Esther is a stowaway. She's hidden herself away in the Librarian's book wagon in an attempt to escape the marriage her father has arranged for her--a marriage to the man who was previously engaged to her best friend. Her best friend who she was in love with. Her best friend who was just executed for possession of resistance propaganda. The future American Southwest is full of bandits, fascists, and queer librarian spies on horseback trying to do the right thing. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 Walt Whitman's Songs of Male Intimacy and Love: "Live oak, with moss" and "Calamus" edited by Betsy Erkkila This volume includes Whitman's handwritten manuscript version of the twelve "Live oak, with moss" poems along side with a print transcription of these poems on the opposite page, followed by a facsimile of the original version of the "Calamus" poems published in the 1860-61 edition of Leaves of grass, and a reprint of the final version of the "Calamus" poems in the 1881 edition of Leaves of grass. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
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aion-rsa · 4 years ago
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The Dark Knight Trilogy: Horrifying Scenes That Still Make Us Cringe
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Later this month, Zack Snyder’s Justice League is hitting HBO Max. Despite the anticipation and a near-guaranteed positive reception from the vocal #ReleaseTheSnyderCut fan contingent, this will likely be Snyder’s last foray in the DC Universe. Indeed, one of the studio’s chief complaints with Snyder’s vision, which they believe impacted box office receipts, was his darker tone when compared with the quippier MCU. However, Snyder’s approach only mirrored many of DC’s most popular storylines, from Frank Miller’s violent The Dark Knight Returns to the on-screen The Dark Knight Trilogy from director Christopher Nolan. Snyder can hardly be blamed for expanding on what audiences were already responding to when it came to DC characters on film.
Less than a decade ago, Warner Brothers was hot off of the success of Nolan’s trio of films that no one would describe as light-hearted or quippy. The Batman of Nolan’s films was not inspired by the kid-friendly or campy iterations of the character found in the Batman TV series from the ‘60s or Joel Schumacher’s films, but by Miller and David Mazzucchelli’s Batman: Year One, and Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale’s Batman: The Long Halloween. That is to say Nolan and Christian Bale’s Batman sought to be a street-level, gritty, interpretation of the character that emphasized noir and a grounded reality.
Snyder didn’t make Batman too dark for film audiences, that was already done by Nolan. Below are just a few examples of the darkest, most horrific moments from The Dark Knight Trilogy.
“Swear to me!” – Batman Begins
Audiences knew they were in for a different type of Batman from the moment they heard Bale’s gravelly voice while he was in the suit. Whether Bale goes too far with his growly tenor and into comedic territory is up for debate, but the choice is certainly memorable.
Bale really gets to rough up his vocal cords during a specific scene in Batman Begins where the Dark Knight confronts crooked cop Arnold Flass about Dr. Jonathan Crane’s mysterious drug shipments. After failing to strike fear in Flass, Batman hangs the portly man upside down from a building. When Flass swears to God that he doesn’t know anything, Batman replies, “Swear to me!” his face tremoring with rage. This is the opposite of one of George Clooney’s one-liners during his time under the cowl. Bale’s Batman establishes himself as something to be scared of and as an all-seeing force to be reckoned with.
The Demon Bat – Batman Begins
While horror has seeped its way into Batman comics many times, particularly during Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s recent run with the character, there hasn’t been a ton of nightmarish imagery present in the film adaptations of the character. However, the hands down scariest portrayal of the Caped Crusader on screen comes in Batman Begins. When Bruce Wayne said he wanted to strike fear in the hearts of criminals, this must have been what he was talking about.
In the climax of the film, when Cillian Murphy’s Scarecrow attempts to poison Gotham City’s water supply with his fear toxin, the good doctor is confronted by Batman and given a taste of his own medicine. The fear toxin takes effect and Crane begins to see Batman as a demonic, literal interpretation of the Batman, with black goo dripping from his mouth and jet-black eyes. This monster version of the Bat was certainly a step in the right direction for comic fans hoping the Batman films would get the terror element of the character right.
Bruce Attempts to Kill Joe Chill – Batman Begins
This scene from the first film in Nolan’s trilogy is the darkest because of how real it feels for the main characters. The moment happens not when Bruce Wayne is masquerading as a vigilante dressed as a bat, but when he’s a young man still trying to come to grips with the murder of his parents. Bruce learns that Joe Chill has been paroled so that he can testify against Gotham crime boss Carmine Falcone. Bruce waits outside of the courtroom with a gun, intending to kill Chill after his testimony. But when Chill arrives at the public lobby, one of Falcone’s goons beats Bruce to the punch, shooting Chill dead.
Bruce’s childhood friend Rachel Dawes discovers Bruce’s intentions and slaps him across the face. She berates Bruce and tells him that his father would be ashamed of him, something that undoubtedly must be hard to hear for the angry, grieving young Bruce. This moment serves as a sort of rock bottom for the character before he decides to leave Gotham behind and travel the globe, immersing himself in the criminal underworld, a journey that would inevitably lead to him becoming… the Batman.
Joker’s Pencil Trick – The Dark Knight
No one needs to spill more ink about how brilliant Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker, was in The Dark Knight. It’s an iconic performance that has forever shaded the public’s perception of Batman’s greatest nemesis. He’s simultaneously funny and scary, brutal and sniveling, chaotic and cunning. He can make you smile then suddenly want to shield your eyes.
It’s all right there from his first real introduction in the film when he struts into a meeting between Gotham’s crime lords and offers his services in killing the Batman. Nailing the core components of the character, his penchant for showmanship, his violent tendencies, and his twisted sense of humor, the Joker pulls off a “magic trick” by slamming a gangster’s head through a pencil that was stuck upright on a desk. Not exactly the kind of party trick that you’ll see Ant-Man performing in the MCU!
The Death of Rachel Dawes – The Dark Knight
While the Joker hatches many unsettling schemes in The Dark Knight, like televising himself murdering Batman imposters, threatening to blow up hospitals, and the game theory ferry experiment, his most despicable crime is also his most personal one. After being taken into custody, the Joker reveals that he has set up a no-win trap for Batman, forcing him to choose between Rachel, his love, and Gotham’s White Knight, district attorney Harvey Dent. The Joker has them tied up in different locations, rigged to explode on the same timer, and Batman only has time to save one of them. Joker gives the hero their addresses, but in a cruel twist, switches who is where. Bruce believes that he’s saving Rachel but saves Harvey instead. Meanwhile, the GCPD tried to rescue Harvey, but arrives just in time to watch the building holding Rachel burst into flames.
While Rachel may have been an underserved character, only really used as a victim and love interest until her ultimate fridging, her death was still a shock and a dark turn that other superhero movies, barring the otherwise forgettable The Amazing Spider-Man 2, have always refused to make. Rachel served somewhat as Bruce’s moral compass, and her death left the vigilante adrift and prone to his darkest impulses.
The Transformation of Harvey Dent – The Dark Knight
The flipside to the above is that Batman’s last-minute rescue of Harvey Dent leaves him scarred, traumatized, angry, and fundamentally changed. It’s not just that Harvey loses half of his face and becomes a grotesque victim; it’s that the minute Rachel dies, all of his idealism and motivation to be a force for good and change dies with her. With one act, the Joker takes away the hero that Gotham really needs to end corruption and injustice.
It’s not just that Dent falls; he falls hard. He murders police officers (corrupt though they may be), kidnaps children, and introduces as much anarchy into Gotham as the Joker. Ultimately, he’s stopped by Batman, but his death and fall from grace is a demoralizing moment, and the decision to lie and prop up Dent as the hero he was rather than the monster he became is a necessary but deeply troubling withholding of the truth. Don’t let the triumphant score and imagery at the end of The Dark Knight fool you; this is a supremely downbeat ending.
Bane Breaks the Bat’s Back – The Dark Knight Rises
Batman is a badass who is rarely bested on screen. Even in Zack Snyder’s interpretation of the character, he’s able to subdue a figurative god in Superman. However, in Nolan’s third and final Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises, Batman finally meets his match, and it’s not pretty. After being lured into the sewers by Selina Kyle, Batman walks right into a trap and fight with Bane, the jacked terrorist who was excommunicated from the League of Shadows, and is every bit as badass as Batman. After eight years sitting on the shelf and a career of crime fighting that has left him battered, Batman is absolutely demolished by Bane, who pummels Bruce before finally picking the hero up over his head and snapping his back over his knee. Heroes occasionally lose on screen, but not like this.
Alfred’s Arc – The Dark Knight Rises
Alfred Pennyworth is a crucial character in the Batman mythos, and he’s typically portrayed as a compliant, if slightly disapproving, enabler. However, that’s not so in The Dark Knight Rises. Portrayed by Michael Caine, Alfred breaks hearts by revealing to Bruce that Rachel intended on marrying Harvey Dent and sternly telling his surrogate son that his war with Bane will eventually lead to his death and that he “won’t bury” another member of the Wayne family.
It’s one of the most emotional moments of the film. Alfred basically abandons Bruce, a decision that heightens Bruce’s isolation and hero’s journey. Alfred only returns toward the end of the film for Bruce’s funeral where he tearfully confesses to the late Waynes’ gravestones that he “failed” them. While Alfred’s story ends on a hopeful note, with him spotting Bruce alive and well in Italy, it’s still quite the breakup between Master Bruce and his most loyal advisor.
The Story of Talia al Ghul and Bane – The Dark Knight Rises
While the best villains typically have sympathetic backstories, few have as a traumatic and scarring one as The Dark Knight Rises’ villains, Talia al Ghul and Bane. Toward the end of the film, it’s revealed that Talia grew up in the same place that Bruce found himself in after Bane broke his back. Born in a primitive prison known as the Pit, Talia watched as her mother was assaulted and killed by the other prisoners. The pair were placed in the Pit in exchange for Ra’s al Ghul, with Talia’s mother agreeing to take his place in exchange for his freedom. Talia only survived through the protection of Bane, who eventually helps Talia escape the prison, but he’s badly beaten and disfigured in the process.
Following Talia’s escape, she locates her father and he returned with the League of Shadows to exact revenge on the prisoners that killed his wife and the men who put her there. Afterward, Ra’s and the League saw to the treatment of Bane, but were unable to stop the continual pain he experienced. Eventually, Bane is recruited into the League, wherein he is given a mask which supplies him with analgesic gas to curb the constant pain from the injuries he sustained while protecting Talia. If you thought Bruce had a traumatizing backstory, you must have merely adopted the dark.
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elejahfanfic · 4 years ago
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The Vampire Files/4
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Fanficton
Part 4
AU story with tvd/to characters, but also with many others from different fandoms like Nick Amaro _Law&Order svu, that I am borrowing here. And Joel Goran from Saving Hope etc.
Main pairing_ Nick Amaro and Elena Gilbert
Nick and Elena are FBI Agents investigating supernatural activities and homocide caused vampires and demons.
Expect witches, demons, vampires. Inspired by X-files, Twin Peaks, and many other shows
tag_ @miguelsbrat​ thank you so much for your support and kind words.
thanks for reading xoxo ★(✿˘▿˘)
and _gifs are not  mine
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆
“Amaro...I’m hit...I...my apartment buil...” Elena chocked, feeling her eyelids drop.
She stood n the midst of a vast darkness. There was a dull spotlight shining down on her.She glanced at her hands and feet, find herself wearing a white shirt and pants, the outfit she wore on the first day she started work as an Agent. What was going on? Fear hit her like a falling tree in an ice storm. The hair on the back of her head stood up. Suddenly it was pitch black. Her eyes could not penetrate the darkness no matter which way she turned. It was a complete shutdown of light, except for the dull light around her. Darkness weighed heavily on her shoulders. The darkness felt as if it was brooding and rotating about her. Muffled voices spelled out from her left and from behind her. A ripple of mocking laughter streamed over to her from the distance. Waves of rejection and hatred swept through her like the heavy stream from a fireman’s hose. She tried to ran away, but  slammed into an invisible barrier.
The ambulance rushed Elena to the hospital. And Nick followed right behind. Seeing her down unconscious kicked him hard. This was not a random attack. The arrows were nothing he had ever seen. But now, his mind was just aimed at one thing- to hear if Elena was going to be all right. And so he ran inside the hospital as fast as he could explaining to the nurses who stopped him who he was, showing his badge.
And the nurses still wouldn't let him go beyond a certain point. He knew it, but something pulled him to go into the OR. She had known her just for a little while and yet for an unexplained reason she mattered to him greatly. He inhaled deeply and then sat down in the waiting area frustrated.He now dialled the Headquarters reporting on the accident.
Not long after Stefan and Valerie arrived. They were already investigating Jackson's murder and with Elena being attacked they found it to be correlated. Nick gave them the whole account of the day and the evening, especially the last couple of hours he and Elena spent before they parted.
"So, you have a clue as to who it might be? Whoever killed Kenner is after Gilbert!" Nick said straight faced.
"It could be, but might not" Stefan replied.
Nick knew that could very much be the truth, as he had read the report on the case Elena and Jackson were working on, which subsequently got him killed.
Would a shaman send strange hitmen using ancient arrows?!
Nick moved away from his fellow colleagues  to get himself some coffee as he knew that the surgery would take a while. He was a very patient man but this time he wished he knew how Elena was doing that very instant.
Stefan notified Caroline, who came storming in.
Rebekah, being the resident orthopedic surgeon of the hospital, talked to the nurses, who gave her the paramedics report.
"How bad is it?" Caroline wanted to know.
"Punctured lung," Rebekah said,"should not be that bad- Gia and Vincent are the best specialist for these types of wounds"
"Seriously- does shit never stop?!" Caroline moaned- as she moved restlessly to the waiting area noticing Elijah talking on the phone mentioning Elena.
"Ah, so this is Nick Amaro?!" she thought sizing him up and then went up to him as he finished his phone call.
"Caroline Forbes." the blonde attorney she said putting her hand out to the Agent.
Nick shook her hand and said ,"Assistant District Attorney Forbes?"
"Yes. But I am not here on official business. Elena is my friend. I am here in that capacity." Caroline explained.
"Right." Nick nodded a little and it seemed she was not going to get anything more. So, the name vulture, really suited him, Caroline thought. Dark, repulsive, but compelling. Elena was right. Something about him was not like she had seen before.
Soon Rebekah joined them, who was now also introduced to the Special Agent.
“Does Elena have any family?” Nick said.
“Yes. An aunt. She lives in New York.” Rebekah replied.”I will give her a call.”
“It is not necessary. I think that the Bureau has probably already notified her.” Nick said.
It was so. Jenna, who lived in New York, was notified by the Field Director, and was on her way. And by the time she had arrived, Elena was out of the OR. Gia, the chief of surgery gave Stefan and Nick the recap of how it all went. Elena would recover.
 Nick asked immediately if he could go and see her, which stunned all of them present.
Gia hesitated as he was not her next of kin.
"I am her partner!" Nick stressed, “I need to see her, please.”
Reluctantly, Gia gave him five minutes. As he left with the nurse, Caroline could not  help herself, "Wow. He like knows her for five minutes and he is already out there?!"
“It’s an FBI thing. Partners have magical bond - it didn’t take him long to bond with her.”
Stefan then had to step in the conversation, "Well, she did invite him for beer and a pool game."
"They definitely bonded." Caroline remarked.
*
Nick walked in the ICU, and seeing her laying in the bed like a sleeping beauty, he wished for a moment it was him instead of her. Where was this coming from? Shock. But he was always so cool and collected. Everyone else was only a fellow Agent. She was so much more. He didn't understand why, but so it was.
"Gilbert," he said and now took her hand, swallowing hard. How and in what moment did she get under his skin, he couldn’t put the finger on.
"Nick Amaro?" Jenna said.
"Yes" he turned around.
A nurse now came in as Jenna just got in without permission, and so to clarify the situation she said to both of them, "I am Jenna Saltzman, Elena's aunt. And as her only next of kin, I believe I have the right to come in!"
"Yes, but you still needed to clarify it with us before" the nurse said.
"I drove three and a half hours to get here, dropping everything - get me the attending” the way she looked at the nurse made the woman resigne trying to explain to her that she could not stay in the room and went to look for a doctor.
"They say she will pull through" Nick then filled her in with the info he got.
"Yes, she will. She is a tough one,"Jenna then said  walking over to Elena taking her by the hand gently, "I am here now."
Nick walked out giving them some privacy. Getting to know Elena's aunt made it clear where she got the feisty impatient part of her personality from. As Caroline said, yes, he and Elena bonded, that was true. He pictured her playing pool and nearly kicking his ass. Inside he said a little prayer for her, his heart wishing all the best.
*
In the ICU, a little while later, Jenna spoke to Vincent about the operation and as he went, allowing her to stay as long as she wanted, she made herself comfortable.
"Elena ,you should not have gone there," Jenna whispered worryingly,"they now know that you exist."
Flashback
Three months earlier, New Orleans
Elena walked in a bar looking for Luis Cyphre.
"Who wants to see him?" the woman behind the bar asked.
"Tell him Angel Heart." Elena said.
The heavily tattooed woman just swayed with her hand telling Elena to follow her.
*
The morning found Nick in the Bureau office. Caroline getting ready for work. Rebekah still sleeping. Stefan waited for his partner Valerie in the diner revising the Kenner-Gilbert case. Elena awake quiet looking at Jenna asleep on the chair. The Agent smiled a little, glad to see her there.
Flashback
Thirty years ago, after Miranda and Greyson's funeral.
"I will look after you and everything will be all right, I promise you that!"- Jenna said to the nine-year old child, who just nodded trying to cope with everything that had gone on-"New York is a magical, and you will really love it there. I so love it there."
And she had loved it there. But the demons didn't go away, nor the fact that she was the first born with the mark of the huntress. Jenna knew it. And she did all in her power to teach her all she had learned about her family and what they were since the beginning of time. At the age of sixteen Elena became a huntress with all the magic passed onto her the first hybrid moon after her birthday.
"Mmmhh" Jenna muffled a little bit as she moved opening her eyes rubbing her neck- smiling as she saw that Elena was awake now waving at her aunt a little.
"Oh, I fell asleep. How are you? Has it helped?" the woman referred to the potions she had given her earlier.
Elena nodded.
"Good. I couldn't give you more till they check you out. It would have been too suspicious." Jenna said.
"I know" Elena whispered.
"So, I met your new partner," Jenna then said, "he looks badass! You skipped a few points. He is so suave!"
Elena rolled her eyes a little. She was not surprised at Jenna's comment.
"He was really cut about you. So I don't really get why he is all wrong." Jenna referred to their conversation after she had returned from Mystic Falls telling her about Nick.
"He is not all wrong." Elena said.
"Oh, you changed your tune. Did something happen? Something I should know about?"
"Nothing happened. But he is right for the job." Elena replied.
"Right. Let me know when you are ready to tell me why he is suddenly all right for the job."
"He is one of them."
"What? When did you find that out?" Jenna couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I saw the mark. He is Bloodborne."  Elena said.
"The Witcher?," Jenna said in amazement,"but they are extinct, or are they not? Aztec bloodline?”
"Yep." Elena muttered.
They wanted to speak some more, but the nurse came in followed by Gia, who could not believe how greatly Elena had improved. And then, Jenna had to do what she really didn't like much, she took a small crystal ball out of her bag compelling the surgeon and the nurse to let Elena go in a few days to home care.
As they left, Jenna now put her coat on, ready to leave herself.
“You rest and behave. And I will come and pick you up in a few hours.”
“Right. Get me ice-cream.” Elena said.
“You got it.” Jenna said and giving her niece a little wave, left the room, soon crossing Joel’s path carying a big bunch of balloons and an unicorn.
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“Oh, please don’t tell me you and Elena made up?” Jenna shot a disappointed look at the surgeon.
“And what if we did?” Joel tilted his head narrowing his eyes at the Professor.
“Damn you if you hurt her again- that is all I’m going to say.” Jenna warned the man, her eyes blazing with serious intent.
Joel was smart enough not to go further into the conversation and now excused himself, walking away.
Jenna inhaled sharply, displeased. But for now she let it be and now went away.
***
A week later Elena  recovered completely. But she had to go on with the pretence of recovery, so she took another two weeks off of work after she had been released from work.
"I hate to do this. But I can't tell them." Elena said to Jenna.
"Maybe they will understand. Try them. I told Alaric, and look how great that worked out." Jenna said.
"I can't. I don't want to drag them into it. And when I am with them I just want to be me, Elena, to have some normality -"
“What is really going on with you and Joel?” Jenna now asked.
“Nothing.” Elena said.
“Really? So what was this whole thing with the balloons?”
“We just hooked up - the night before I got shot.” Elena replied dismissing it.
“So you are not going back there - he slept with that doctor not once , the damsell in distress - the one that nearly had him jailed.”
“Please, you don’t have to remind me. The hook up was just one-off”
“Ok - a bit of meaningless sex never hurt anyone”
"It leaves me so empty afterwards." Elena said sighing a little, thinking of Joel.
Jenna scooped the ice-cream into a bowl for both of them. Her phone rang and she went to another room to take the call.
Elena sat down at the computer, looking at the arrows the forensics have sent over to her. They were of akkadian origin. Jenna, who was a Professor of Demonology, found out that only a secret society would have those in their possession.
The door bell rang and she now went to answer it.
"Amaro?" Elena said as she opened at the door.
"You look really good- I mean- aren't you supposed to be resting?" he said as he walked in.
"I am on very special pain meds. Plus, who can be in bed all day. What's up?"
"You are definitely better."
"There's no time to waste. What have you found out about the Armory?" Elena asked.
"A society of supernatural artifact collectors. Founded by a Lorenzo St. John" Nick replied.
"Right." Elena said happy about the info.
"Stefan and Valerie went to visit them - they are denying any kind of connection." Nick continued.
"Coffee?" Elena offered.
"No, thank you" Nick refused politely.
Jenna appeared from the bedroom and with a small 'hi' adding, "Maybe ice-cream?"
 Nick greeted her back and said no to the ice-cream.
"Ok, guys, I have errands to run," Jenna said giving Elena one of those looks telling her that she had her own lead, "I will see you later. Oh, and Nick - make sure she goes to bed"
Elena looked wide-eyed and emberrassed about Jenna's comment, "Sorry about that. She overdoes her 'mother' role sometimes."
"Well, meds or no meds-she is right. You should be resting." Nick said smirking cutely.
"All right," Elena huffed slightly annoyed and sat down on the sofa,"there, I am resting. Seriously, I am not made of glass."
"No, but of flash and blood." He sat down on the armchair next to her, "why do you push everyone away? You should have seen your friends worried whether you will make it or not-"
Elena did appreciate the concern, but the defensive mechanism she had imposed on herself made her dismiss care she would be given. It was her way of surviving. "I just don't like the fuss. And there is so much to do. I've seen people dedicated to their work, but with you it's an entire new level. You can't hide when the Evil calls your name"
"What?"
"It's something I read. Anyway," she turned to the table with her meds, that actually were vitamins,"Can you pass me that bottle there. And it's time for my pills."
Nick stood up and passed her a glass of water and the medication that were on a chest of draws.
As he passed it to her, she thanked him and in the process took hold of his had,"I do appreciate you waiting in the hospital"-
"You are my partner," but the way he said it somehow meant more the way it sounded.
The door buzzed and Elena now asked Nick to go see who it was. Swinging the door open, Joel Goran stood there. “May I come in?”
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“Please” Nick said and gestured to the surgeon to come in.
_to be continued
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countessklair · 8 years ago
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Dr. Gabriel ‘St. John’ Keller, Director of the Medical Division of the Avengers Initiative
“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is the last thing you will remember about me.”
Gabriel Keller grew up in inner-city Chicago, raised on his father’s stories of being in the Marines, and after graduating high school became a full-time caregiver for his ailing father. The experience would define him, as Gabe had always wanted to help people, and watching his beloved father die was nothing short of agonizing, but it did give him the desire to become a doctor, to provide health where he could. Gabe joined the Marine Corps when he was twenty-one, a week after burying his father, partly to honor his decision to become a doctor, but also as a way for Gabe to stay close to the man who raised him. Gabe got his medical degree through the Corps in record time and was bounced around for a while, nothing really sticking, until finally he was assigned to be the medic for Captain Maureen Walker’s squad, and after day one knew he had found his place in the Corps. Day one of his relationship with the squad, the XO Dante Johnson, who, in Gabe’s opinion, had eyes way too pretty, took it upon himself to check that the resident doctor was combative ready. One hour and a broken nose later, Gabe earned the nickname ‘St. John’ because, in Dante’s own words, somewhat muffled from the towel holding all the blood in his face, “Ok, so you can break a bone. Let’s see how you do at putting it back together.” Five minutes after that Dante was almost speechless. “I’ve broken this nose four times now, and that was the quickest, and definitely the gentlest any doc’s ever reset it.” Gabe knew he was fucked when Dante looked over his shoulder and smiled brilliantly through the dried blood on his face. ”You got skills of a saint. You’re all right, Gabe.” Gabe found a family in his squad, though from the third time he patched up Dante, after the man inevitably lost his temper with a bigot in a bar, he would look into the other man’s eyes and think ‘I just fucking had to fall in love with a straight man with anger impulse control.’ The summer after their first deployment as a unit, Gabe and the others were invited up to Missouri to spend two weeks with Maureen and her family. They met Maureen’s husband Sean and their daughter Ava on Ava’s fifth birthday, and Gabe fell in love harder than he’d ever fallen before. Gabe had never really been interested in children, and that still stood, but of all the children in the whole wide world, he was glad that Maureen and Sean had had Ava. She was sweet and always laughing, she was the spitting image of her mother and constantly trying to understand every facet of the world around her, she was intelligent and quick to love, especially when it concerned her mother’s squadmates.  Being a doctor and occasional Black Ops agent was incurably emotionally damaging, but every time they came back from a mission and got their mail call, there was, without fail, a drawing for each of them from little Ava. And those did, inevitably, work wonders. When Ava was eight, Rieker and Harvey spent the summer before deployment road-tripping and drinking in the South. Maureen and Sean spent the month before deployment going on a second honeymoon in Scotland visiting extended family, and Gabe and Dante babysat Ava for the duration. That whole month was the pinnacle of Gabe’s happiness in that era of time, Dante and Ava running through actual fields playing tag in the summer sun, the three of them going to the Ozarks and swimming in the lake, the three of them playing endless games and holding nightly campfires. The image of Dante lit by firelight, singing a silly song designed to make Gabe and Ava laugh, his eyes locked onto Gabe’s and a soft smile replacing the usual steely frown, was too much for Gabe to handle at the time. It felt too much like what he wanted with Dante. Even overseas, Gabe felt at home with this squad, even through the hell of warfare. Which is probably why it all fell apart. In May of 2005, two months before Ava’s twelfth birthday and one month before they were set to go home, Gabe was forced to sit back and watch their commander Lt. Colonel Thaddeus Ross send Maureen out into the field on her own, with no explanation beyond a snotty sneer and a thoroughly uncaring, almost hateful look in those grey eyes. Gabe waited, prayed, wished and fucking hoped she would be fine, but thirty-six hours later she came back with no pulse and half her blood gone. Gabe and Harvey and Rieker had to hold Dante back from killing Ross, and Gabe had to hold the four of them together when they went back for the funeral, Gabe holding little Ava’s hand when the coffin was lowered into the ground, while Sean stared in numb silence at the turned over dirt and the freshly carved headstone. Harvey, ever the realist with what to do next, suggested they leave the Marines. It just...wasn’t the same without Maureen. Gabe, Dante, and Harvey left the Corps. Rieker stayed behind, wanting to give the Corps another chance, but he transferred divisions and started training snipers in Arizona. For a few weeks after everything happened, Gabe and the other squad members parted ways. Gabe went back to Chicago, visited his father's grave, put in some time at a few outreach centers, went to see a shrink to pour his heart out, and drove into the middle of nowhere to scream until he couldn’t talk. Everything was at such a low point, Gabe knew that he really didn’t want to even try to attempt civilian life without Harvey or Rieker or Sean or Ava or Dante, God he didn’t want to ever be without Dante in his life. So Gabe called up Harvey and Rieker, and they tracked Dante down to a hole in the wall, abandoned bar in Harlem. They walked in to find Dante looking around, lost and smaller than Gabe had ever seen him. And without a word about why Dante had bought the place, they fixed it up, and fixed up the two floors above the bar area too, with enough bathrooms and bedrooms to house the four of them and three guests. Gabe stuck around with Harvey and Dante while Rieker went back to Arizona, and while Dante set up ‘Sister Margaret’s’ and while Sean investigated Maureen’s death, Gabe and Harvey and Dante and Rieker helped raise Ava. Gabe taught her how to box, it was her fifteenth birthday present, and he taught her how to fight dirty when needed, cause the good Lord knew that girls weren’t safe on the streets. Lucky for them, turning into some kind of mercenaries was good in that regard. It didn’t clean up Harlem, they were magic, but it did keep Ava safe. A year and some change later, Rieker came back to Harlem for good with a sniper in tow, Wade Wilson, who was carrying a dishonorable discharge and downcast eyes, who had the smartest mouth Gabe’d ever heard. Wade Wilson was mouthy as fuck, but he was a good man and Gabe was glad he was around. Gabe knew what happened to most soldiers with a DD, and he didn’t want that for the guy who helped Ava get over her first douchebag boyfriend and who walked with them all in the Pride Parade. Gabe even liked the Weasel guy Dante hired to watch the bar when they went off on ‘excursions’ around the world. Because Gabe knew, had known for years, that wherever Dante went, he’d follow. It wasn’t perfect, the whole of Ava’s puberty was something of a disaster even though the psychologist Gabe had talked to said they had done good by her, but it was damn near close to perfect. Which was probably why it got ruined. Again. Sean dropped Ava off at Sister Margarets the beginning of July, three weeks before her eighteenth birthday, his eyes alight with the promise of answers. Sean had promised to come home within two weeks with everything they had ever wanted to know about Maureen’s death. Two weeks later Dante came into the bar holding an envelope and a folded flag instead of Sean’s duffel, because Sean Walker had been a Marine too, and that’s what people did for the military when they died. They gave them flags because there was nothing fucking left. Gabe again held Ava’s hand and watched another coffin lowered into the ground in the middle of nowhere Missouri, thinking that this couldn’t be all life has to give them. And Ava changed a bit, a harder look in her eyes than before, a certain set of her shoulders that hadn’t been there before, and though she cried and mourned and screamed her hatred of this development into the world, she soldiered on. Gabe was proud of their girl because Lord was she strong. She went to college, went to a fucking Ivy League school, went to fucking Harvard, and aimed for a triple doctorate, at that. Even as proud as they were, and as aware as they were of Ava’s very impressive skills, none of them liked it when Ava took an offered internship at some hush secret spy organization she wouldn’t give a name to. But Ava was happy, and Gabe knew it couldn’t be a coincidence that whenever the four of them were off around the world doing their not so legal work, they always managed to escape the notice and pursual of any federal forces. The only reason Dante wound up in jail was because getting caught beating the shit out of some scumbag for the tenth time in a year got you thrown in jail, no matter how big of a scumbag said scumbag was.  With Johnson in jail and the jobs asked of them getting weirder and weirder, Gabe could only hope they lasted long enough for Gabe to finally kiss Dante under the mistletoe at Christmas because if he was gonna get one last thing out of his life, it was gonna be his romantic comedy moment, God help him.
Faceclaim: Donnell Baylock Jr
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elfnerdherder · 8 years ago
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The Fault in My Code: Ch. 4
You can read on Ao3 Here
Chapter 4:
           When he dreamed, he dreamt of mirrors. They didn’t reflect the eyes of the dead, but they reflected his eyes, one blue and one maroon. Every time he lifted his hand to break the mirror, to destroy the side that showed the worst of him, another would appear, then another.
           Each time he fell to his knees, head cradled in hands stained with blood, something warm caressed him, embraced him against the bite of the cold. That stark relief should have kept the worst at bay, but it didn’t. Each time he felt its presence, he hated himself a little bit more.
-
           He woke up thinking of Hannibal. He paced his room, considered calling Chilton, considered against it. Dr. Avery was right –he was right. He had to wait this out, wait until the frenzy of endorphins just under his skin abated, let it ride until Hannibal was pacing the cell with the lack of contact, the lack of information to combat the rush whenever he thought of him. He was used to worse thoughts in his head than longing for the touch of someone; he could do this.
           He could do this.
           Molly was at work when he called, and he took a long shower, head pressed against the tile, water droplets making his eyes squint shut. He needed to call Crawford. He needed to look through the files at Quantico. He needed to see Hannibal.
           “Got anything?” Jack asked. Will drummed fingers on the small desk in the hotel, teeth furiously chewing his bottom lip.
           “He’s given me a goose chase.”
           “We expected that,” Jack replied heavily.
           “I think if I look at his patient files, that’s where the man is. I just need to see them.”
           “Price and Zeller got back to me. Price is pissed because they didn’t want to give the bodies up at the funeral home –you know that was the day of their funeral, right?”
           Will thought to feel guilty, but he didn’t. If the funeral director was pissed because they mussed up the eyes he’d wanted to glue shut, he’d get over it when they kept the killer from finding his wife home alone at night. The savage thought didn’t sit well with him, and he grimaced. He rubbed his maroon eye. He thought to blame Hannibal for the intrusive thought, but he didn’t.
           “Anything?”
           “You were right, Will. He touched the eye.”
           “Bastard couldn’t help himself,” Will said. “The feet?”
           “Some smudges, but nothing was good enough for more than a partial.”
           Partials were fine. They didn’t help, but they didn’t hurt. He paced the room, and in the lowest part of his stomach, he felt a mild churning of longing. He pressed his hand to his gut and compressed, gritting his teeth. Lecter wanted to see him. He didn’t want to see Lecter –a lie. He did, but that wasn’t the point.
           “We got a partial, though.”
           “And you were right,” Jack said. Underneath his low-leveled tone, there was praise. “You’re back in the game, just when I needed you to be.”
           “I’m going to swing by HQ and get a look at those records. If I can find some kind of clue, I think Lecter will give me a bone.”
           “A bone?”
           “He appreciates tenacity, doesn’t he? When Alana Bloom first discovered his drawings of the murders, her bold-faced lie to him was so well done he let her live rather than kill her for it. He asked her to be blind.”
           “And now he’s rotting in a cell for it.”
           “He sends her cards at Christmas,” Will tacked on. Talking about him made his spit turn to rust. Made his skin tingle. He wanted to say more, but he held back. He wanted to keep talking about him, but that was a side-effect –-a side-effect.
           “Well, I’ll let them know to let you in, get you a temporary pass. I’m doing house-to-house visits again, but you know how well those go.”
           “Keeps your feet moving,” Will said, walking out of the hotel room. He needed to keep his feet moving. He needed to think about something other than the way Hannibal’s hand felt like home, how just the small contact made him wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He wondered how Molly was doing at work with her two blue eyes.
           He grabbed a pair of sunglasses on the way, just because. When he got to HQ, no one questioned them, although when he got to the basement and was given thirteen boxes of files, the agent squinted at him with extreme prejudice. They weren’t pretty sunglasses.
           “Please tell me you’re hungover and not trying to rock a 90’s fashion statement,” a voice said behind him.
           “Don’t tell Crawford,” he said, and he smiled a little.
           “You come back to consult on a case, and he’s already got you drinking,” Beverly said, circling the desks to face him head on. Time hadn’t aged her, other than the fine lines around her mouth from laughter. She had one black eye and one blue, as well as the grief around her forehead that attested to where the other blue ended up. He’d given her grief counseling many times before he realized he had a knack for it, before he ultimately left the FBI.
           “Just getting into the head of the killer,” he cracked.
           “The killer’s a drinker?”
           “Yes.” That wasn’t a lie. Will thought he and the killer had that in common, as well as a burning aversion towards soulmates. He didn’t say that part, though.
           “So your form of retribution is, what –lurk in the evidence lockers of the FBI?”
           “Lecter claims to know of the man who is doing this, but he’s not being entirely helpful. He said the man is in the files where the eyes match too well.”
           “He was a doctor before they made soulmate eye color matching mandatory to track in therapy. I wonder why he did it then,” she said, grabbing one of the boxes. Her stark look sent the evidence jockey scuttling away, and she plopped down onto a chair, opening the cardboard top.
           “If the way he gets into anyone’s head is true, he’d want to detail every aspect of that person while working them over in therapy,” Will said.
           “’If the way’? You met him, Will. How was it?” Beverly looked up from the mildly abused box and titled her head.
           “Going to help me do some grunt work?” he asked rather than answer. Even with his stupid sunglasses on, he couldn’t look towards her face. Fingers fumbled with the cardboard top to an evidence box, and a murmur of shame made his ears hot. Beverly smiled sympathetically and let the question drop.
           “After I compiled all of my stuff, I’ve got a free afternoon, and a soft spot for an alcoholic, so you’re in luck.” A beat. “Still an alcoholic?”
           “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic,” he said gravely. “Three years sober since before yesterday.”
           A whistle, low and thankfully without pity.
           “Jack’s going to fuck you up by the end of this,” she said. “I hope Molly knows what’s waiting for her when you go back.”
           It was necessary for them to think he was off the bandwagon, he told himself. It wasn’t entirely a lie. When he was getting ready that morning, the small bar in his room was almost too much for him to handle, too close to a thought that the only way he’d claw Hannibal out of his head was to drown him. His stomach clenched again, pained. Hannibal needed to see him.
March 13th, 2012
Patient: Francine Coherty (S, one black, one brown)
           Francine’s struggles with her soulmate, Derrick York, stem primarily from a previous soulmate of his that passed. His previous soulmate died when he was fourteen years of age, and according to her, no matter how close she feels her bond to him, he cannot reciprocate in the same way. Anxiety medication not aiding in attacks, considering changing dosage. Depression medication aiding with serotonin levels.
           Will stopped reading and moved onto the next file –Francine Coherty met her end by the hand of Hannibal Lecter towards the end of his killing sprees. Her ears he’d placed in a phone booth, the rest of her seated outside at the bus stop. When questioned at the trial, he remarked that her troubles with her soulmate stemmed from listening far too much to what other people said. She was always waiting for something more rather than reveling in her experience.
June 29th, 2012
Patient: Francis Dolarhyde (S, brown, brown)
           Struggle with alternate personality, improvement upon adjusted medication. Perceived lisp and struggle with consonants, although under the medication there is improvement, leading to conclusion of psychosomatic speech impediment, remnants from childhood. No eye contact, common with disorder.
           Suspected neglect from biological parents leading to ward of state standing until 18. Will not speak of early childhood, mentions fascination with filmography. Longs for soulmate, eloquence waxing while under medication, otherwise flinches from discussion.
           They went on much the same; Will separated soulmates from non-soulmates, and within each category he further separated the disillusioned from the depressed, the personality disorders from the chemically imbalanced. Thirteen boxes of patient notes, and by early afternoon he found himself staring at seven distinct piles of files, fingers twitching with the need to further analyze, to further ingest. If he kept himself busy, he wouldn’t focus on the cramping in his stomach, the intrusive thought that if Hannibal starved to death all would be absolutely lost.
           By 3:00 P.M., Beverly excused herself for lunch. She returned in an hour with an egg salad for him, which he devoured as he studied the files, feet propped up and fingers tapping incessantly on the table beside him. The sunglasses stayed on.
           There had to be something in the files. Hannibal’s hunger strayed towards the primal, and he thought how delicious it’d be to run his fingertips over the most sensitive parts of his skin, mapping out each place that only the smallest number of people had possibly seen. Trent Hawthorne struggled with bi-polar disorder, and he had no soulmate. Hannibal’s muscles ached, as if he’d just been exercising. Trent Hawthorne was institutionalized after he couldn’t quite come to terms with his psychiatrist eating people. Hannibal wanted to see what it’d feel like to bite his lips. Trent Hawthorne-
           -He tossed the file onto the table with a disgusted noise, scraping his fingers over his eyes and knocking his sunglasses askew. He looked to the clock on the computer beside him, scowling at the numbers, then staring at them blankly. 8:00 P.M. He looked about, but no Beverly. She must have left at a normal time, his lack of acknowledgement to her goodbye enough for her to leave him to his devices. With no one around, he removed his ridiculous sunglasses and sighed, burying his face in his hands. He’d gotten somewhere, but it wasn’t anywhere fast enough. He needed another distraction.
           He excused himself from the HQ and returned to the hotel, utilizing the gym on hand to run off the miles in his blood, the yearning to cross town and press himself against the metal bars enough to make his feet pound harder, his arms pump faster. By the end of it, he paused beside the treadmill, hands on his knees as he panted, face red and lungs ballooning. Grief counselors weren’t athletic, at least; the kind of grief counselors like Will Graham weren’t. Used to be. Should have continued, even after the FBI. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve.
           Beside him, finishing a rousing round of stair stepping, a woman hopped down and crossed to the water dispenser in the corner. He felt her eye him, and he looked to the ground, leaning down to retie his shoe.
           When he straightened, she stood just in front of him, face flushed but pleased, cup held out to him. Out of the periphery of her shoulder where a small freckle lay, he noted two solid brown eyes, charming as hard toffee candies. When she saw his mismatched eyes, her expression deflated, but only somewhat.
           “Don’t push yourself too hard,” she said kindly, and he accepted the water with a curt jerk of his head.
           “Thanks,” he replied. He gestured with the cup and took a sip, keen on the smell of sweat and dashed hopes.
           Everyone, from the five-year-old to the fifty-year-old, waited with bated breath to meet their ‘other half’. Poor, foolish woman probably felt she found hers at 9:00 P.M. at a hotel in Baltimore. Maybe she’d dream of him, hoping to wake with the most fundamental change of her life. Maybe she wondered if she’d gain a seafoam blue eye or a dour maroon one. She’d stare before the mirror, tilt her head this way and that –had he not met her gaze? No, no, he hadn’t; that could have been her soulmate, but the fool only took her water, not her eyes.
           Why had he taken Hannibal’s eye?
           He called Molly, lying in bed with damp hair and pajama pants, hand pressed to his bad eye like he could somehow get used to the idea of life with only one. He wondered if he was going to lie to her again. He wondered if the ‘Soul Stealer’ was also lying in bed, eye covered like he could imagine someone seeing into him the way he so desperately desired. That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? He wanted to be seen?
           Lucky for him, Will was trying oh-so hard to see him.
           “You were right,” Molly said by way of greeting.
           “I usually am, but people are normally less pleased about it than you sound.” God, her voice was a balm.
           “She gave a two weeks, then she mentioned how his family’s from Belize. Why isn’t your family from Belize?”
           “I’ll get back to you on that,” said Will, sitting up. On the bedside table, the file from the first murder rested, teasing. He thought about touching it, but he didn’t want it to spread to Molly that way. He had the urge to wash his hands. He had the urge to go see Hannibal.
           “Can you imagine?” she wondered with a laugh. “Less than a week and she’s tossing it all because something just ‘feels right’. Can you imagine, Will?”
           “I’m trying to,” he said. “It’s my job to.”
           “I guess that’s why Jack took you away from me, isn’t it? Soulmates steal your eye, keep it for themselves. You have a criminal mind.”
           “I don’t,” he said, sharp. He spit the words from his lips, distancing himself from the file on the end table, crossing the room to look out of the window. “I don’t have a criminal mind.”
           She didn’t speak for a moment, testing the waters by the cadence of his breathing. He took a breath, exhaled, then pressed his forehead to the glass, staring at the lights of the skylines in the distance, marking each new block with a blink of his heavy eyelids.
           “You don’t,” she said when his breathing resumed to normal.
           “I’m sorry.”
           “What’s he going to do to you next?”
           “…I didn’t see enough here, so I’m going to Minnesota next.”
           “Minnesota,” she mused. “Is that where-”
           “A different part,” he interjected, sitting down on the chair by the television stand. The lamp poised just over it would be good for late reading, for bashing in the skull of an intruder. He pulled a knee to his chest and idly chewed on a nail. Soul Stealer wouldn't like having to be innovative, but if he had to, he'd use a lamp.
           “…Get some sleep, Will,” she chided gently.
           “My Molly,” he murmured, and his eyes closed. “I’m sorry.”
           She forgave him for snapping, for faulting her for his criminal mind. He was apologizing for more than that, though, for more than the fact that he couldn’t reconcile his ability to see violence in its darkest forms. When he hung up, he curled up in the chair with its faded square arms and deep cushion, and he fell asleep there, chanting I’m sorry, I’m sorry over and over in his head until the words seemed like more than they were. A prayer, a mantra to see him through the haze that told him he needed to go and see Hannibal.
-
           He dreamt of mirrors, of hands curled over the shards, unheeding of the way they cut and drew blood. He stood before one and placed it over his bad eye. When it continued to fall, though, he pried his eye from his skull, offering it to a waiting palm that promised to protect it.
-
           Hannibal woke him with a gnawing in his gut. He found himself halfway to the institution for the criminally insane before he went to a screeching halt at a red light and turned around, cursing. When he got back to the hotel lobby, the girl from the gym stood at the front to check out. Two toffee eyes focused on the check she signed, then focused on the desk man that stared back unabashedly. Will absently wondered if she’d leave her number, just in case.
           He couldn’t check out of the hotel fast enough, and it was only the sensation of getting through TSA and sitting with his back to a wall at the right terminal that made him feel sure of himself. It was true that he felt rather close to doing something rash, but it would cause more of a scene to do that than to just sit still and get on the plane to Minnesota. The idea of everyone witnessing his breaking down and rushing to see Hannibal Lecter kept him in check.
           He was even more relieved when the person occupying the seat beside him was a three-year-old with a gamepad and no illusions of friendship on a plane.
           Her one blue eye, one green eye troubled him, and he stared straight ahead. Superstitions about finding the soulmate too young left a lifetime of disappointment, since it was believed that the earlier you found them, the earlier they died. Many of his clients back home had such tales of car wrecks and leukemia, and there weren’t enough statistics in the world for him to convince them that correlation was not causation. For the child’s sake, he hoped it panned out. For their sake, he hoped it was a platonic soulmate. Parents were quick to romanticize children's affection for one another -Will wasn't a fan of most parents.
           On the takeoff, his heart burned, his chest fire. At first, there was a dizzying sensation, and he wondered if it was a heart attack –a beat later, he managed to exhale and released the grip on his chest, hands shakily finding an arm rest to hold instead. A mildly panicked, concerned pang slithered through his guts and told him Hannibal felt it, too. It was fine. It was the first week of his ‘bonding’, and his body was warning him that he was getting too far away from what it wanted. It wanted to touch. It wanted to connect.
           Like a drug, he wanted to detox it cold turkey.
           “First time flying from your soulmate?” the woman beside the child asked kindly.
           “…Yes,” he managed. She wore stretchy pants and slip-on shoes. One blue eye, one grey.
           “It’s always difficult, isn’t it? They make you feel so…whole. The first time, I cried,” she confessed. Her hair was twisted into a messy bun, and her top was a zip-up with a white tee under it.
           “You’re…used to traveling,” he noted, angry at how hoarse he sounded. A rage, indignation coupled with unease filtered through his veins, and he had to remind himself with each heartbeat that those were remnants of Hannibal, not him.
           “Is it that obvious?” she asked with a laugh. Unashamed. Proud of her soulmate, her other half. “Felt like your heart was getting ripped out, right?”
           After a beat, incredulous at the invasion of his privacy, scared in the face of the feeling of his heart being strangled, Will managed a nod.
           “It’ll pass. It takes a few times, but the trip back is always the best feeling in the world. Is it new?”
           Another beat. Will swallowed convulsively and nodded.
           “Poor thing. You know, I said to my friend, I told her ‘it’d be easier to just avoid eyes on trips, even if it meant delaying finding your one and only for a little while. Long distance relationships are hard, just hard, and even though there are tax deductibles for soulmates having to travel for their partner, it just doesn’t fix that broken feeling.’ Am I right? Is it a long distance relationship?”
           “Very long,” he managed.
           “Oh, dear…do you have to be away for long? When are you going to see them again?”
           “I don’t know,” he said honestly, and he looked down to his hands, palms clammy on the arm rests.
           “My darling here, my Evie, her soulmate is her best friend, just the best little friend, and on travels it got to the point she’d scream and scream, so her doctor gave her medication to make it easier, didn’t he, sweetie?” The woman finger-combed her daughter’s hair, and Evie didn’t look up from the game she held between her short, pudgy hands.
           “The medication numbs the feeling?” he asked.
           “Oooh yes, but I wouldn’t recommend it for you. It’s more for children because they’re not capable of processing the emotions like we do. Insurance covers it, but you pay out of pocket if you’re an adult. Like I say every time I have to say goodbye to mine, though: this too shall pass.”
           Will nodded because he didn’t know what to say to that.
           “What I do is I list all of the things I like about them. Then I think of the things that I have that are same as those, and I remind myself that because I have those qualities too, they’re here with me now.”
           Will didn’t find it prudent to inform her that the things he had in common with Hannibal Lecter weren’t the sort of things to comfort him in the absence of such a person as that. “You’ve read books on this,” he said instead. Much better. Alana would have been proud.
           “Yes, just some self-help books really, but there are doctors for this, you know? If you need, I think they have free group sessions, support groups for long distance; they have blogs online, videos –they call those vlogs, I’m told. The important thing is that you know it’s not the ‘end-all’, right? You’re feeling these things, but they don’t have to change your thoughts.”
           Will wanted to laugh. He fought very hard to keep the impulse locked away.
           “You have to travel for your soulmate a lot,” he said, and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her quick, nervous hands. She was saying this to him as a comfort for herself as much as she tried to sooth away his stranglehold on the armrests.
           “Two years strong, and we’re going to work out the details for the final move. Things just…need to be right with her. That’s why we have them, right? That’s why we have soulmates.”
           Will could imagine the long trips, a child in tow that didn’t understand. Adoption? In vitro? A child from a person before the time they met the gaze of someone that their DNA decided to bond with? He thought of Molly and her two beautiful blue eyes and gritted his teeth.
           “Thanks,” he found himself saying. “Thank you.”
           “Are they cute?” she pressed. “I’m sorry, is that so nosy of me? I just haven’t seen a green soulmate in so long! It’s such a fresh experience, isn’t it? Even with the struggles ahead, you just…you feel right, don’t you? You don’t have to be alone because they’ll always be there. Almost makes me wish I didn’t have mine, just so I could experience the feeling all over again when I met her again the next day.”
           To say he smiled would be a lie, but it was somewhat more than a grimace. He shifted in his seat, counted the broken threads on the seat ahead of him, and managed a, “right,” before he looked out of the window. He felt Hannibal’s discontent, the pain like the after burn of a bad cat scratch along every inch of his skin. It hurt. The farther they flew, the worse it burned.
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dadjokestop · 3 months ago
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Ready to dive into the world of humor that walks on the wild side? Dark humor jokes have a unique way of poking fun at life’s absurdities, often leaving us chuckling even in the most unexpected moments. If you’re someone who appreciates comedy that pushes boundaries, you’ve come to the right place! Here are ten dark humor jokes with no limits that will surely make you laugh (and maybe cringe a little). 1. The Ambitious Ghost Q: Why don’t ghosts ever go out on Halloween? A: Because they’re too busy working on their boo-tiful resumes! 2. The Optimistic Undertaker Q: Why did the undertaker break up with his girlfriend? A: She just couldn’t handle his “dead”pan humor! 3. The Philosophical Zombie Q: Why don’t zombies ever eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny! 4. The Dark Joke Q: I have a joke about trickle-down economics… A: But 99% of you will never get it! 5. The Sassy Grim Reaper Q: Why did the Grim Reaper get a promotion? A: He had a killer work ethic! 6. The Patient Patient Q: What do you call a doctor who’s lost his license? A: A butcher! 7. The Unfortunate Firefighter Q: Why did the firefighter bring a ladder to the bar? A: Because he heard the drinks were on the house! 8. The Cheerful Funeral Director Q: What’s the funeral director’s favorite game? A: Monopoly—because he loves to take people’s properties! 9. The Ambitious Executioner Q: Why did the executioner start a podcast? A: He wanted to make his “chop” talk! 10. The Honest Psychopath Q: What did the psychopath say to his therapist? A: “I think I’m going to need a bigger couch!” There you have it—ten dark humor jokes that embrace the unexpected and make light of life’s more serious topics. While these jokes might not be for everyone, they can serve as a reminder that laughter can come from the most unlikely places. So, share these gems with fellow dark humor enthusiasts and enjoy a good laugh together!
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driftwork · 4 years ago
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Osaka, metal pins, glass shards... appendix 6
The police located her in the hospital a week or so afterwards,  her fractured arms and wrists in plaster, her fingers were reattached, her fractured right leg in a support and her ribs strapped. They asked her what had happened. The police commands were refused. She told them the truth, asking the doctors and nurses to remain to protect her. She told them she wouldn't speak unless there were doctors and nurses there,  except even then she never told them that the woman was the killer. She was just 15, it took a year for her to recover.  Her family came to see her after a few weeks, the police had contacted them. She never answered to her name again, the hospital staff called her Osaka. Her small brother had died, later she realized that her parents  had selected her  brother to live and her to die. Though she eventually returned home they never really spoke again.   She loved her hand therapist, her physiotherapist,  her doctors, nurses and surgeons but mostly her hand therapist.  She refused to leave the hospital in Osaka when her parents wanted to move her to Tokyo. She insisted on staying until she could walk out of the hospital.  She said her name was now Osaka, eventually having osaka tattooed in english on her right forearm, and in smaller kanji characters on her left arm. She never realized how much she'd changed,  her parents were guilt ridden and never recovered from the child selection that went wrong. When she returned to school a year later, she always had a rounders bat in her backpack which she wore as a sidepack with the handle facing forward.  The school tried to order her around and failed. When her schoolmistresses instructed her on a rule of grammar or arithmetic or behavior, she was not informing,  any more than she was informing herself when she questioned her students.  She did not instruct so much as  give orders or commands.  She never remembered being the model student  she had once been. Osaka found it difficult, nearly impossible to trust anyone. The girls called her yakuza because of her missing small finger on her left hand. A few girls tried to bully her and stopped after she started hitting them with the rounders bat. In the disciplinary office she merely said - they shouldn't have tried to push me around, if they do it again I'll hurt them. They thought she hadn't recovered from the kidnapping [...] Osaka thought she might. The school counselor saw her every week for two years indirectly helping her to pretend she was normal. Her grades never recovered, she had became indifferent.  She couldn't learn to fight with her hands and her weakened leg so she took up kendo, the instructor was always slightly worried by the intensity and situational viciousness that was always just below the surface. She would always be disabled she thought. Even then she already wanted to see the woman again... Just once she said, just once to say thank-you. [...] Time and years passed, on leaving school  she went to an american university on the coast. She developed a deep love for Shklovsky and Brecht. When her parents died in her third year she didn't go to their funeral. By this time she had acknowledged that her mother hated her for surviving. Eight years had passed. A man tried to mug her on the east-side, she fractured his skull with her rounders bat and went for his partner who sensibly ran. In the police station She cried for a 15 year old self and flew back to japan to accept the inheritance and to see if she could find the woman. Whenever she walked through the airport scanners the metal pins in her leg set the alarms off. She took to wearing inconvenient short skirts so she could easily show her scared bare leg to the security guards and changed into jeans on the plane. It took half a year to find a trace, which happened almost accidentally when she identified the tattoo. five  months after her arrival back in Japan Osaka walked into the bar of the hotel the gang owned, booked a room and asked to see a female gang member with a single dragon tattoo. Twenty four hours later they pointed her towards a man and two women, one of the women was western, the others were Japanese. They asked who she was and what she wanted. I am looking for the woman who saved my life eight years ago in Osaka. She was about my age, perhaps older now with a dragon tattoo. She rescued me, saved me. I would like to see her. He remembered, they looked at her, so your the girl, I wondered about you. The japanese woman introduced herself as Seo and gave her a business card, that's me. I'll see you here tomorrow morning and tell you what we can do.  Osaka walked off limping slightly as her leg was aching. They watched her limp off.  The next morning she was told that the woman she was looking for lived in London, told her, told her, told her her name and an office address.  Told her to be careful. Osaka recognized that the woman's utterances were order words. She smiled in memory of reading plateau 4. Her leg was not hurting, so she ignored the orders. Osaka still carried her rounders bat.  It took a few weeks, a month for Osaka to leave for london, she found the address,  stayed in a hotel for a week before renting a studio flat for three months. She got a job as a barista in the cafe next to the building. She worked and observed the building for a month and had seen her enter the building a few times. Seeing her she didn't know what she wanted to do. Approach and speak? bow and speak ? Beg forgiveness ? Proclaim love ? Osaka watched the office from the cafe, the counter was accidentally placed so that she could watch the building entrance whilst she made coffees and teas. Sometimes she watched the woman go into the building and leave, she knew it was her because her face was imprinted on her mind, twice she had seen her leave the building with a man, they walked off together holding hands. After a month she still couldn't decide to speak, to present herself. [...]
One Tuesday the problem resolved itself. on an exceptionally hot day, the air temperature well over 30 degrees, she was wearing a white short sleeved tee shirt, black jeans with a support around her knee,  because her leg was hurting just a little, her left hand was twinging, her missing finger hurting and she had a slight stress headache. ((What happened to your leg the manager asked ? She told him her well rehearsed fiction/story, when I was 15 I was hurt in a car crash, they put metal support pins in my leg. Sometimes, like today it hurts a little. It happened in Osaka, she tapped her tattoos with her fingers and smiled at him. She thought he was quite nice and  probably harmless)) [...] She had been there a month when a woman and one of her assistants  came in to collect a set of coffees for a meeting. The woman  looked at the youngish Japanese woman, a little muscular, white short sleeved teeshirt, who spoke english with a slight american/tokyo accent. Tattoos on her forearms, osaka on the right arm,  written in kanji on her left. Her server badge had her name "Osaka Park" printed on it. "Ïs that your name?" she asked her. "Yes, everyone calls me Osaka,  do you work for Kwarbarti ?" "Yes. You have an unusual name." " Ï changed it when I was in hospital 8 or nine years ago." she paused. " Here you are."  placing the last of the coffees in the cardboard trays. Osaka watched them leave. Quickly cleaning the surfaces of the machine before starting the next order.
[…The director was sitting on the sofa next to her desk when they arrived with the trays. The assistant was saying "I wonder what her story is?" to Nancy. "Whose story?" Park asked them. "The barista, Osaka..." She remembered the teenage girl she should have killed, the trouble her misunderstanding had caused,  (was it misunderstanding or had she simply not wanted to kill the tortured girl, even when she had told him about it she hadn't known.) She stood up.  "Ï need to check something" Park walked into the cafe and recognized her immediately.  Osaka stepped out from behind the counter and to the astonishment of the manager, and to the embarrassment of Park stepped forward and two metres away bowed.   "It's you. Thankyou.” The cafe stopped. Time froze. A Schrodinger cat moment. A wave, particle, or both. People looking at the two women. Park pulled her over to a corner table and looking at her  face said "I never expected to see you again." She stroked her arm,  "your called Osaka." "I kept the name you gave me that day. Was I named after the city or the Brecht poem?"  "I don't know most probably the poem." [They sat and talked, the manager brought them tea and bottles of lemonade and watched them between serving customers. She explained about her leg, the pins in her leg, how they hurt sometimes. Her hands only on cold days. Eventually Park began to tell about her life in exile. Though this may have been later ... ]]Hours later in the early evening, in Park’s house, whilst the man Park lived with was cooking in impromptu meal, badly,  in the kitchen, with a background of an unknown jazz piano music, she told park more about her body, the titanium in her leg, the piece of titanium in her finger, her fractures and ribs, the alarms she always set off, her parents betrayal, her dead brother, the inheritance, the indecisiveness, everything, everything. Then she told her that she just wanted to say thank you. Just once before she continued her life. Park told her whilst he was in the kitchen that that she could say anything,  She gestures at the kitchen. Sam knows everything,  can know anything, its all been so accidental, an ongoing experiment, life is an experimental activity... Trust blossomed.
Extra irrelevant passages for  the reader to understand the psychosis of the repressive state apparatus, they do not have to be read.
Nancy reported about Osaka's appearance to her excellency,  ‘She said she is probably family, part of Sam and Parks. I asked what her relationship actually is, my daughter or sister. Her excellency groaned my life as police has become so problematic, as if I don't have enough problems with Sam and Park. (Chaos that mighty agent of war machines, is not confined to cathedrals, it infects the police that supports them. In truth it fills the air, seas, the universe and the everyday, affecting us all.) Nancy asked whether she had ever thought of making him leave the police ? Her Excellency explained it was easier to keep her under surveillance if we made him stay. And i misunderstood/underestimated how much he would change.  Nancy said thoughtfully that she found it difficult to believe that Park is/was a psychopathic murderer. There is nothing in any of the files mentioning anyone who could be this young woman Osaka. I think park must have had all the records referring to her removed. Possibly Park has been protecting her, probably for a decade.
Park hugged him in the doorway,  whispering something into his shoulder. Osaka wondered what she said.  Park looked at her as they drove off. I thanked him for being so understanding, and other more private things. She drove her south to the studio apartment. Plus one. The war machine extended...
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Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
"Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
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Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
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Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
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Was done for drink driving what car shall i buy when i get my liciece back for cheap insurance?
Cheap car insurance in CA?
I'm 19 and am looking to buy a 06/07 Cobalt SS coupe (non-supercharged) and am wondering what the cheapest insurance would be? Personal experience?
Best Health Insurance Quote for uk?
Can you Suggest me Good Place where I can get Quote to Life Insurance?
Is there a insurance company in Minnesota that covers infertility?
??
Car Insurance and clueless teenagers?
Considering the kind of questions we are getting by 16 year olds regarding car insurance we could safely assume that they aren't ready to drive at all! Maybe raise the minimum age to 18? Might even save a few lives!
Insurance on a streetbike?
so i live in southern california 19 years old 3 years car driving experience 0 licensed with a motorcycle valid motorcycle permit 3 accidents on my record 2 including totaling cars... i was wondering if any1 happens ot have close oto the same things and know what i should expect iwth MINIMUM insurance no comp or collision or anything just basic liability.. but i do want max medical payments
What is an insurance recovery vehicle?
I am looking at buying a car and one dealership offers insurance recovery vehicles for pretty cheap. I think that they they have been recovered after theft but I'm not really sure. Are they like salvaged vehicles and what problems could be found with buying an insurace recovery car? Have you had any experience with buying one? any knowledge would be appreciated.
""Florida Auto Insurance Quotes Online, are they really safe?
Florida residents do you really think entering all your valuable personal information online for an auto insurance quote is really the safe way to obtain auto insurance? A local personalized auto insurance agent who you can pick up the phone and call or stop by their office sounds so much safer and personal.
Car Insurance approximation...?
I would like to know approximately how much it would cost to insure a 2009 Nissan Altima Hybrid, 4 doors, 2.5, 15,000km, I am 59 years of age, live in the Quebec Penninsula Area. One driver only, for leisure purposes""
""Non owner SR22 insurance, a cheap website?""
Non owner SR22 insurance, a cheap website?""
What is the best affordable health insurance plans?
I am 20 years old and do not have health insurance and I need to get my wisdom teeth pulled! So i'm looking for an affordable health insurance.I've already applied for Medicaid and was denied.I need help please!
Being kicked off my parents health insurance plan at age 19? I don't know how I can afford insurance?
MY parents have been getting notices from their insurance company telling them that when I turn 19, I'll be off the insurance plan. It's because my dad has young ...show more""
A 125cc Scooter in California?
I want to get a 125cc scooter just because it does use a lot of gas. In California, does a 125cc scooter need a license plate? Do I need to buy an insurance? Do I need a driver license? Do I have to ride on the bike lane? or I can ride as a car? How do I make a left turn? How do I park my scooter? park it as a car (occupy a car parking spot)? It's in California. Thank you very much""
Question on best company for classic/historic car insurance?
Our family has had State Farm for 70 years now, several generations, and in the last 10 years or so we have been progressively more & more disappointed in their caring and customer service. Maybe its just the 'assistants' that my local SF agent (who never talks to his clients any more) use, they both seem to have just horrible attitutudes, sarcastic, and act like you are a complete PITA every time you call. I even have an email from his main assistant that I asked her to forward to the actual agent because I was told he was the only one that could answer my question, and just today I was SHOCKED when I re-read the email, and saw in the forward of my email when his assistant sent it on to the actual SF agent, She said This guy will just not give up, he keeps haunting me about this issue! I couldn't freaking believe it. I was going to forward the email to SF headquarters in Bloomington IL, but then as I read more & more about state farm I saw they are completely independent agents in each office, and have literally NO ONE who is their boss or who can reprimand or correct them. This is unbelievable. If I treated my customers at my work place & gave them the rotten attitude treatment we get from our SF office here, I guarantee you I would lose my job. No one is in charge at state farm obviously. Back to my question - I recently bought a classic car I have been looking for a long time - getting it next week - it is 25 yrs old, all original & in perfect shape. My state (Maryland) lets me register the car as Historic if it is 20 yrs old or more. I plan to do this. I contacted my wonderful state farm office today, to get a quote on a new policy/binder for this collectors car. They apparently don't like insuring a vehicle as Historic, maybe the policy is too cheap & they do not make any money off it. The 'assistant' said the best they can do, even if I REGISTER this vehicle in Maryland as Historic & get an Historic tag, which I will do, she said the best she can do is insure it as part time, occasional pleasure use, under 7500 miles a year . Which of course is NOT an historic policy. You can get that on ANY extra car you have in your household even if it is a 2011 model !! She did say (and I understand this being required) that in order to have is classified as Antique/Classic/Historic, you have to have an appraisal done on the vehicle as if it just came off the show room floor -then the premiums would be much lower if you had full coverage on it, as historic/classic . So here we stand. Can someone out there please help me understand - am I being taken for a ride by my State Farm office? Should I shop around for insurance companies that just specialize in Classic/Historic auto insurance? If so can anyone recommend the best companies that specialize in reasonable insurance for classic/historic vehicles? Thanks for your help. .""
Is insurance a must for everybody to have?
Is insurance a must for everybody to have?
How to become an insurance underwriter?
Im looking to move on in my career and I am really interested in becoming an Insurance Underwriter. I am currently studying for the CII FIT exam and was wondering what else I would require. Any help appreciated thanks.
Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
Who has the best car insurance rates in New Jersey?
South Jersey Resident. 26 year old male with a clean driving record.
Who is a good auto insurance company for active duty military members changing addresses often?
insurance companies who cover multiple states
Car insurance?
My auto insurance has expired and I'm kinda looking for a new car insurance. I can extend the previous car insurance, but I just want to know about other car insurances as well so that I can make a good choice. I took a look at many car insurance company websites, but it seemed like I need to put all my personal information (not only about my car and my email address but also my home address, phone# etc) to get a quote. I'm worried that maybe they would send me all kinds of junk mail kinda stuff to my house if I put my address on the form to get a quote. Do you know any good ways of getting a quote without telling them my personal info? Any recommendation which car insurance company is good? Btw I've never got into any car accidents so I just need a cheap auto insurance. I drive '83 caddi.""
How much will my auto insurance cost?
Ok...so I'm looking at an old 73' Bug to possibly buy for college and all. Cost- of the car at least- is not a problem, as its $100, and I have $100. (Yes, it does have issues and looks horrible, but hey it runs and drives). So...that brings up insurance. There is NO way I can get in on my mom's insurance- she won't let me get a car so the only way is if I do all myself, and I'm 18 now and going to college in a few weeks, so a=Im looking at my options. I know as a male teenage driver its going to be high, but what is high? How much will good grades and all that help? Just, what would you recommend and how much could it end up costing? Thanks...""
Liability insurance if car catches fire?
my car got caught on fire i think the firefighter says it say electric wiring i only have liability insurance is my insurance will cover that my car is total now ,thanks so much""
Car insurance for a 19 year old?
Ok about a few Weeks ago I was involved in a wreak, I had no license and was not under my parents insurance. Luckily i didn't go to jail cause I was rear ended. Now I'm attempting to get A drivers license after SO long I've been begging for one, The only thing that's held me back from getting one was my parents because they said i would be tagged on into the insurance, and that I had to go under another address. Now after the wreak they said I cant get one, because once the insurance finds out im driving, they'll automatically add me on, is this true? I want to get back on the road and walking is pretty bad knowing i have a car ive been paying for the [ast two years for. BTW I live in Texas and under state farm.""
Will my insurance rise if the accident was not my fault?
i was involved in a minor car accident which took place at a drive thru and the car in front of me reversed his car, and at the speed he had applied to the gas pedal was enough impact to smash my entire hood in and damage my front bumper. I filed a claim with my insurance as soon as I got home. The following morning the insurance company of the OTHER driver contacted me and verified that he will take full responsibility therefore my repairments will be covered by his insurance. Ive been reading online relating to my question, but in my case, will my insurance rate go up? This is also my very first accident and I've been ensured for 1 year since I've been driving.""
Would a 1972 Monte Carlo be expensive to insure?
Someone said it may be expensive to insure this kind of car. Could he be referring to just this one particular car or all muscle cars from the early 70's? keep in mind i am 18 years old if that makes any difference.
What states don't require auto insurance?
As a young driver auto insurance is way to expensive. Since I drive a Mercedes most quote me at thousands of dollars a year. More than what I can afford. I know some states don't require car insurance if you can prove you have the financial means to pay out if you cause an accident. I need a list of those states that don't require auto insurance if you can prove you can afford to pay out. On top of this question how do I prove I can afford it. Do I need to keep a minimum amount of money in a bank account or do I have to buy a bond how does it work. And if it works with a bond or bank account please list the states with the minimum $ you need in bonds or account money. The reason Im asking is that I can easily get a minimum amount in my account (hopefully under $10,000) because id rather have $10,000 sitting in a bank I cant use than having to pay thousands a year for insurance I don't need. I been driving for 3 years and I never had an accident and im confident I never will (at least not one that's my fault) so I don't wanna waste thousands of dollars I need for my school. The reason Im asking is cause im looking for a state that suits me. So far Vermont and new Hampshire have laws to my liking but hopefully you guys can give me more possibilities by answering this question. Thanks""
What's the best health insurance coverage and best insurance company?
I'd like suggestions on the best top-notch health insurance coverage/ company in the U.S or just in general. I'd also like to know if there are other companies abroad who provide health insurance coverage for U.S citizens. Finally as a young kid just out of college , with first career job, with no health issues what should i be looking at as far as coverage plans and expenses, looking to save money. I had a student health coverage while in schoolm, but it's since expired. Thanks""
Is my parent ever eligible for coverage on my insurance?
My mother is disabled. Is it possible she can be covered through my insurance?
Health insurance.HELP?
I just found out I was pregnant and I am having to do my health insurance by myself now. I understand co-pays but does the insurance company bill you anything? I think I have already reached my deductible for the year but I'm not sure. Usually my father handles and explains all of my health insurance stuff but since he is very busy I am having to do it all myself.
Guestimate how much i will have to pay for insurance?
In MA, a 1994-95 honda civic hatchback 120,000 miles,im 18 and didnt take driver's ed. This is my first car. All i have is a permit for 4 months.""
How much do you pay for your car insurance?
How much do you pay and is that amount on a monthly, semi-annual, or annual basis? What state do you live in? What is your age? What is the year, make, and model of the car you drive? Serious answers only, please. If you're not comfortable offering this information, please don't answer the question.""
Do various driving school programs give different types of certificates that affect your insurance?
I am a 20 year old female first time driver living in Colorado, and I'm debating what program to go with for driving school. The completely online one, the half online half classroom, or the full classroom. I want to take which ever one will give me the best insurance rate.""
Car and insurance problem.?
If I was in the process of getting a driving lesson from my instructor, I crashed his car. Am I suppose to be in charge of this, but I don't have a license yet. So, am I going to be the one who pays for the insurance or the instructor?""
How much would my car insurance cost for under 25 for a multi car insurer?
i am 19 and want to start driving but insurance is a big issue and i don't have any knowledge in that department. So how much would my insurance be on the cheapest car (what car would that be?) as a multi car insurer?
How does LIFE INSURANCE work?
my cousins dad dies of cancer and he had life insurance. the family got $500,000 . -did the insurance company just give them the money away. or did they make certain payments? doesnt insurance lose money? -do they go on a spending spree now or what?""
""Ok i dont have car insurance but i want to rent a car for a month, is there a car insurance for this situation
so i would just like to pay for the car insurance for a month. I was wondering though do I need car insurance when i rent a car.
How much will auto insurance be?
I am going to be getting my permit in a month and i already have a car. its a 94 plymouth acclaim 4 cyl and i was wondering how much insurance will be, I will be joining my moms insurance she has farmers.""
DReam asks Can i buy health insurance?
I am a dreamer & i see i dont qualify for obama care i got that but i want to know if i can buy health insurance from a company or something?? Im abt to work in a plant & they required health insurance...
""Attention young driver's, where did you get insurance from?""
My 17th is coming up soon and I really want to be able to drive however every time I look for insurance the cheapest ones I can get are in excess of 2500 at least! Also are there any cars or small hatchbacks that are best to insure, keep and drive in your opinion???? Is it best to get my own car and have my parents as named drivers or the other way round? Thanks! :)""
Have a Teenage son 18 and Want Car insurance let me know how much you paid and what Insurance co and what Car?
Thanks
Nissan GTR for a teenager?
Hey everyone, I am a 16 year old who runs a photography business in Nashville, TN. I have been saving up for a car for the last 7 years, originally for a BMW M3 or Audi S5. I have amassed about $25,500 to spend on the car, and have a steady income to pay for insurance and gas. There was a recent question asking whether it would be safe to give a child like myself a car like the M3 or the Nissan GTR. However, I feel as though such a generalized statement is grossly inappropriate. I feel that responsibility in an automobile should fully be determined by ones own experience and responsibility, as opposed to strictly ones age. For example, I have shifter cart racing experience, have taken multiple high performance driving courses from some of the best. (Truly recommend Bondurant's program BTW). I have over a 4.0 GPA, and am editor and director of an online magazine and our school's paper. I make a decent wage from a job and business that I created myself, and have learned marketing and advertising from some of the best in the field (anyone heard of the oldspice commercials?). My own determination has lead to success and my ability to reward myself with a highly exclusive and phenomonal driving machine. On the other hand, no one would doubt the maturity or ability of a man thrice my age attempting to buy the same vehicle, who had never driven on a track, who had never used ABS, and who had never learned the evasive driving techniques necessary to driving such an automobile. Herein lies the problem. In the previous discussion on this same topic, the driving of a GTR by someone my own age was likened to handing someone like myself a loaded .44 Magnum. However, this in itself is a stereotype. I am a nationally ranked rifle competitor who knows how to build, much less safely use, a .44 Magnum. I am a member of USA Shooting and the NRA and CMP competitive shooting divisions. How is handing me a loaded .44 any less safe than handing some retired man who has never held a gun the same pistol? I am at a loss for the logic in that situation. Is my inherent danger of being 16 such a risk as to counteract my own experience and track record of responsibility? SO back to my actual question. 1. If I purchased it, would you disapprove of allowing me to drive a car such as the GTR. and 2. Would you purchase a 2009 GTR, an 2008 M3, or a 2010 Jaguar XF? Why? Thanks in advance!""
How much would the insurance be on this car?
A ford ka 2001 around 56,000 miles and I am a new driver 17""
Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
Land O Lakes Florida Cheap car insurance quotes zip 34638
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-ma-antonio-wilson/"
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allofbeercom · 7 years ago
Text
5 Recent Movies (You Never Realized Were Completely Insane)
Nobody expects every movie to be great. For every Steven Spielberg, there’s a Tommy Wiseau. For every Ridley Scott, there’s, uh, well, another Ridley Scott. No self-respecting person has the time or inclination to watch everything Hollywood craps out, so it’s quite possible that you don’t know how bad some recent movies turned out to be. Luckily for you, we have no self-respect, so let us satiate your morbid curiosity by telling you all about this year’s most baffling cinematic turds (so far). SPOILERS AHEAD!
5
Folks, Tom Cruise Was The Real Mummy ALL ALONG
Tom Cruise played Jerry Maguire in Jerry Maguire, Jack Reacher in Jack Reacher, and someone who was born on the 4th of July in Born On The Fourth Of July. Guess who he plays in The Mummy. Go on, guess.
At first, Cruise’s character is your average U.S. Army sergeant in Iraq who seduces archaeologists to steal their maps and search for treasure. Early on, he gets into a fight with some alleged insurgents he happened to run into and orders a goddamn air strike on them — the military equivalent of asking your brother to finish the level for you.
Universal Pictures Instead of bombs, they dropped copies of the script.
Fortunately, we don’t have much time to mull over the ethical implications of all this, because the strike accidentally uncovers an ancient tomb:
Universal Pictures And like all ancient tombs in movies, it’s shaped like Clint Eastwood’s scowling face.
Cruise, the guy from New Girl, and the woman whose map he stole with his penis are sent in to investigate. They discover an ancient mummy, but more importantly, the archaeologist lets us know that Cruise sucks in bed (and not in the good sense). As they’re flying the Mummy back to England, after long stretches of dialogue about sexual inadequacy, the plane crashes and Tom Cruise fucking dies.
Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t end there — Cruise soon wakes up in a body bag, either because of the Mummy’s magic or some kind of weird loophole in Dianetics.
Universal Pictures If you told us Tom Cruise sleeps inside a plastic bag at home every day, we’d fully believe it.
A moment later, Cruise’s friend and two doctors walk in, and everyone’s biggest concern is that they can see the dick of this guy who just cheated death itself. Anyway, the Mummy ends up getting captured midway through the movie, a plot development that probably feels familiar to anyone who wasn’t in a coma between 2008 and now:
At one point we also meet Russell Crowe, who plays Dr. Jekyll. As in the Dr. Jekyll, the one who turns into the villainous Mr. Hyde. Presumably Hyde is the one who smacks hotel clerks with phones and insists on singing in public.
The third act then finds an army of corpses rising and attacking the city — though taking into consideration how Tom Cruise is in his 50s but has jet-black hair, works out like crazy, and spends most of this movie talking about how he boned someone more than 20 years younger than him, the sight of him fleeing a sea of rotting bodies ravaged by time accidentally becomes a powerful metaphor.
Then in the very end, Tom Cruise basically lets the Mummy win and use him as the host body for the god of death — but then he uses his new powers to kill her. So yes, Cruise now has ancient mummy powers, and will possibly develop an affinity for wearing toilet paper all over his body in the next movie he shows up in.
4
Did You Know Harriet Tubman Knew The Transformers?
It’s no secret that the Transformers series is basically the cinematic equivalent of watching a Monster Energy Drink in a paint shaker. Hell, the last movie found Mark Wahlberg guzzling a flaming bottle of Bud Light like that’s a normal thing to do. Even with the bar so low (and presumably on fire), Transformers: The Last Knight is maddeningly awful.
For starters, the story is an obvious attempt to smoosh together a bunch of popular TV shows into a Transformers movie. It opens with a dragon Transformer helping King Arthur, who’s seemingly engaged in some kind of game, for some kind of throne …
After a jarring time jump, we meet a scrappy gang of kids seemingly played by the Stranger Things kids’ stunt doubles:
What was that other big TV show from last year? Oh yeah, Westworld. Cue Anthony Hopkins delivering a bunch of nonsensical exposition about robots, which is apparently his jam now.
Here’s where the wheels really come off before they can retract and turn into a dinosaur. Hopkins explains that he is the only remaining member of a secret society that protects the secret history of the Transformers on Earth. It turns out that these giant-ass talking vehicles were present for many famous historical milestones. We just … forgot about them? Didn’t notice?
Members of the Society of Transformer Pals included Einstein, da Vinci, Shakespeare, and Stephen Hawking (who, by the way, is still alive, movie). Also a member? Harriet Tubman. That’s right, this movie is implying that Transformers helped the Underground Railroad. Which people have pointed out is a) insane, and b) you’d think giant weaponized robots could have done a touch more to help the slaves. At least the movie doesn’t raise the question of why the Transformers didn’t stop the Holocaust or some-
3
There Was A Movie About The Guy From Avatar Hanging Out With God In A Shack
Sam Worthington stars in The Shack, a movie adaptation of the best-selling Christian inspirational novel. The movie starts in the past, where we see our main character, Mack, and his mother being abused by his alcoholic dad. So naturally, Mack pours strychnine in his dad’s booze, probably murdering him, though it’s hard to say because this is never mentioned again.
Flash-forward to Mack all grown up and Sam-Worthington-like. But his life is still beset by tragedy, as his youngest daughter is kidnapped and murdered by a serial killer (!!!) during a camping trip. They never find her body, but Mack is told she was killed in a remote shack (a place the B52s would never in their right minds sing about). That winter, a distraught Mack receives a mysterious note inviting him to the shack, signed “Papa” — which is his wife’s nickname for God, not an implication that Ernest Hemingway is penning creepy notes from beyond the grave.
Thinking this might be his daughter’s killer, a gun-toting Mack accepts the invitation and heads up to the abandoned cabin, which sadly contains no chainsaws or Necronomicons. Instead, it magically (or I guess spiritually, since Christians don’t like magic) transforms into a cozy cottage straight out of a beer commercial. Even weirder, it’s now home to Octavia Spencer, who immediately says that she’s God. Also there are a flannel-clad Jesus and an Asian lady who’s apparently the Holy Spirit. Yeah, it’s the Holy Trinity, chilling out and enjoying their Carlsberg years.
Through a series of painfully long conversations, they convince Mack not to give up on his faith, embrace life, and maybe spruce up his living room with some Crate & Barrel chairs and assorted Martha Stewart bullshit. Jesus casually walks on water:
God listens to an iPod, for some reason:
And they show Mack a whole bunch of psychedelic ghosts out in a pasture, like Field Of Dreams mixed with Tron mixed with MDMA. Even more like Field Of Dreams, one of the ghosts is Mack’s dad. Who, if you’ll remember, was a real piece of shit. Mack hugs him, obviously.
In the end, God shows Mack where his daughter’s body was hidden, and they have a funeral for her. Which is nice and all, but maybe it would have been even nicer if, you know, his wife were there too? Or his kids? Hey, God, why is this one dude the only one who gets some damn closure?
2
iBoy: Netflix’s Weird-Ass Superhero Movie
While it sounds like a movie about Steve Jobs’ prepubescent years, iBoy is actually a Netflix production starring Arya Stark and … umm, some guy who knows Arya Stark. Its story of a teenage boy with an unrequited crush on his neighbor takes a sharp turn when he walks in on a gang of masked thugs sexually assaulting her (bullshit rape storylines seem to follow Game Of Thrones actors around). The kid flees, but as he’s calling the cops, he gets shot in the head.
Instead of, you know, immediately killing him, the pieces of exploded phone embed themselves in his brain …
… which give him superpowers. More specifically, he can psychically read and even control smartphones. And of course the human cellphone uses his powers to fight crime like a tween-friendly Dark Knight.
You may be wondering how he actually fights bad guys. After all, having Google Maps and Shazam coursing through your cerebral cortex doesn’t necessarily mean you can kick ass. It’s simple: When he’s cornered by a cadre of thugs, iBoy psychically causes all their phones to explode:
Say what you will about Batman, but even he hasn’t been able to figure out a way to set his adversaries’ balls on fire without lifting a finger.
1
Fuck You, The Book Of Henry
Judging by the box office results, a lot of you didn’t see Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow’s The Book Of Henry, either because it was savaged by critics or because the poster made it look like the world’s crappiest Choose Your Own Adventure book.
The film tells the story of Henry, a genius kid straight out of a script Wes Anderson started and then threw away. He spends his life making Rube Goldberg devices, playing the stock market, and generally being lauded for how brilliant he is. We never find out who his father was, though presumably his mom had a one-night stand with an anthropomorphic Screenwriting For Dummies book.
Oddly, his mom is content letting him run her entire life, which seems … unhealthy. She consults with him before financial decisions and sees him more as a sort of surrogate husband than a son. Even Marty McFly would find this dynamic unsettling.
Oddly, the precious, quirky, autumn-leaf-filled indie drama soon becomes very thriller-like when Henry notices that the girl who lives next door is being sexually abused by her stepdad — meaning some genius waltzed into a Hollywood studio and pitched “Rear Window, but with kids getting molested,” and it worked. Henry’s on the case, but no one will take him seriously because the stepdad is the police commissioner (and also played by Hank from Breaking Bad). So with the school principal and child services being total dicks, Henry formulates a plan … to murder the stepdad.
And by the way, we’re just getting started.
Before Henry can go through with his plan, in another twist, it turns out that he has a brain tumor. The titular character dies halfway through the movie. Henry’s little brother then tells the mom about Henry’s dying wish that she read his journal, which contains the elaborate murder plan. Henry is so annoyingly smart that he even anticipated what people would say out loud after he’s dead:
The mom rejects the plan at first, but eventually gets sucked in. She ends up buying a giant hunting rifle and luring her target into the woods during a school talent show:
She comes very close to pulling the trigger, but doesn’t go through with it, because she remembers that Henry was “a child.” Yeah, her arc is realizing she doesn’t have to do everything a young kid told her to. At the same time, the school principal finally decides to do something about the sex abuse. Why does she come to this conclusion? Because the girl’s dance at the talent show is just so pathos-filled.
What made The Book Of Henry a next-level debacle wasn’t simply its critical lambasting, paltry box office receipts, or “bloodstained Mad Libs you found at an abandoned bus station on Halloween” of a plot. No, it’s the fact that its utter craptitude might’ve catalyzed Trevorrow’s dismissal as the director of Star Wars Episode IX. This is why you never, ever pursue your passion projects, kids.
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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-recent-movies-you-never-realized-were-completely-insane/
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mykingdombuiltonashes · 7 years ago
Text
Human...
For use in various human universes, including the zombie apocalypse au. Ciana Monteith: Age: 32
Ciana’s parents were hippies. She was home schooled and raised vegan, but turned away from a minimalist lifestyle to go to college and become an engineer. She has been dabbling with 3D printing and building moving prosthetic limbs. She has even built herself a metal arm from scratch that works almost naturally, but it’s prone to breaking down and needs regular maintenance and modification. She became Belial and Asmodeus’s guardian when the boys got into trouble while attempting to escape the care system.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Defence:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Belial “Bells” (surname unknown): Age: 13 He has memories of vision and sees a little bit in dark and light but is otherwise completely blind thanks to a serious car accident. His mother died during childbirth and there was no father to speak of, so the boys were orphaned. He was the smaller of the twins and much weaker when born, and has been prone to illness all his life, probably due to an ongoing heart condition. He has gotten stronger as he’s gotten older, even if his life expectancy without a heart transplant could be short. He may be borderline aspergers and has a severe dislike for being touched. He’s well ahead of his peers at school however, and has been fast tracked to college education due to this. He hopes to study law eventually.
Health: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆   Attack:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆  Defence: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Asmodeus “Azzy” (surname unknown): Age: 13 Smart, but does not apply himself, Asmodeus appears quite average next to his sibling until his competitive streak comes out. More athletically inclined than Belial, he prefers to exert himself in Kickboxing and other sports. He has a strange relationship with his twin; both being an antagonistic rival and his defender. He’s trudging his way slowly through school though effortlessly flies through exams. He still isn’t too keen on Ciana and is quite jealous of her closeness to Belial but he settles, as living outside a care home with a rather carefree guardian has it’s perks. He doesn’t yet have a plan for his life beyond school, though it might involve politics.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Intelligence: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
Liang Telis: Age: 20 Comes across as being the life of the party, but is often on the verge of mental collapse. He did well at school but without any idea or direction in his life, his father insisted Liang join the military and be “a useful member of society” instead of partying and walking in half drunk at 4am. This surprisingly suited Liang and the structure kept him occupied, but once he returned, his self destructive attitude escalated until he “came out” to his parents on a hospital bed after a particularly heavy drinking session. While his father refuses to hear anything about his son being gay and devises incredible cover ups, his mother and (confidant) half-brother are much more understanding and the confession calmed him considerably after. He’s stopped sleeping around and is dating his childhood friend, Ren Fei, though the relationship is often tempestuous. For now he’s sticking with the military, but old friends and his family (besides Dysmas) are pushing him to find a quieter and less strenuous career.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ 
Piper (no surname): Age: 10 A kid from the same care system as Belial and Asmodeus, he hasn’t found his home yet. He was found living in a dump with rats that he’d trained to trust him and bring him food; he had no idea how long he’d been living there but it had easily been since he could just about walk. He still keeps pet rats, though his carers insist they be fancy varieties from pet shops and not wild vermin. He’s average at school but is an incredible athlete already - he practices free running and has hopes of becoming a professional gymnast.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Agility: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Attack:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Anyu Winters: Age: 19 A biology student, Anyu has turned out to be a rather well rounded and chill guy given he was also a child of the care system. He played a big part in the lives of the younger kids there and still visits them like an older sibling. He’s non-binary but despite a leaning towards a feminine appearance, he prefers male pronouns. He's leaning towards becoming a vet nurse when he leaves college.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   Intelligence: ★ ★ ★  ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
William Black: Age: 28 In and out of prison for theft for a large portion of his life. He's a self professed kleptomaniac and loves the finer things in life. He was studying drama but discovered show business was hard to break into and earning money through less moral ways was easier. He's not long got out, so is still adjusting to life on the outside. He's still rather directionless. 
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
Seth Payle: Age: 35 Leads a simple and very private life. He doesn't have many friends and his family are also absent but he doesn't mind at all. He lives to work, holding down a job as a funeral director and having little in the way of a social life. He’s very reserved and doesn’t smile much but when asked if he’s happy, he’ll tell you he is smiling on the inside.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆   Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Attack: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Otto Mawnan: Age: 12 An only child who gets a bit lonely. He’s home schooled due to nocturnal insomnia and sleeps a lot during the day so has missed out on a lot of crucial social time and relationship building. He’s an average preteen who just wants to have a bit of fun and make some friends. His tiny village is miles from anything and is filled with a lot of retired people so he’s made more friends with adults than kids his own age. He’s not sure what he wants to do with his life; he’s a bit young to decide yet anyway.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Fleur Rhodes: Age: 16 Recently homeless. Her mother, father and two brothers died in a house fire and she was the only one who got out in time, just because she was sleepwalking. She’s refused to live inside a house or flat since then due to her fears, but hopes to get over this some day soon and get her life back together. She has a fair inheritance but she’s saving it for college to study psychology; when she’s ready that is.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence:   ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Fife McFarlane: Age: 18 Intersex, recently graduated high school. They were a good student with above average marks, but severe social anxiety and a stutter has made it very hard for them. They live alone with their father, Shane, as Fife’s mother left after they were born. Thanks to Shane - a fisherman by trade - they landed a quiet janitorial job at an aquarium, which Fife is loving. They hope they might go on to do something else within the sector, but for now, they’re just relieved that life is panning out without too much stress.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆  Defence: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Maggie Pinto: Age: 25 Comes from a very supportive family and has been on HRT since her early teens. Her family took Jack in when he was a young teen as well, so they’ve grown up like brother and sister. She’s been working double shifts as a waitress in a bar since she left school so that she can save and go to college. She has a few ideas for what she wants to be; a beautician, a tattoo artist.. The world is still her oyster. 
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★  Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Jack Dawes: Age: 24 Came from a broken family, his father walked out when he was 5 and left Jack, his mother, and little sister destitute. When his sister passed away because they couldn’t afford treatment for her, Jack went off the rails, blaming himself and promising his mother they’d never be poor again. When he was caught breaking and stealing from houses in the richer neighbourhoods, he was taken from his home and put into care, only getting off without a sentence due to his age. Maggie’s mother was working in the care system at the time and fostered Jack. His mother became a close friend of the family but never took Jack back to struggle as they had before, deciding his life was better now. He does odd jobs and can turn his hand to most tasks to make a living.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Alastor Dreamweaver: Age: 31 Alastor can’t remember much of anything from before the accident. The doctors told him he was found in the debris of a collapsed building and had been in a coma for several weeks. He remembers his name, but nobody can find any information on him besides the basics on his birth certificate and old credit history, of which there is little. He’s trying to piece together his life and figure himself out again. There’s always the sense of something or somebody missing and that it’s all just on the tip of his consciousness. He’s discovered he’s an excellent artist and has been dabbling with it as a form of work.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆  Attack:  ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Dante Malachite: Age: 23 Rich kid with parent issues, Dante doesn’t do a whole lot of anything. Despite his father being worth a fortune, Dante has spent time living rough and been in and out of jail cells; usually for petty crime and nothing worth charging for. Generally he has a “fuck you” attitude with the world and is quick to temper, but he is slowly coming around to the idea of fighting for the underdogs of society instead of throwing everyone under the same bus.
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Intelligence:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Agility: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Sheba Monarch: Age: 17 Sheba has been rich and privileged most of her life. She was captain of the cheer team at school, got good enough grades despite not being all that sensible, and was handed everything she ever really wanted without a quibble. Her parents tend to buy her off to make up for the lack of emotional support and general neglect, which Sheba is happy enough to accept. She never was that cuddly anyway. With her school years coming to a close though, she’s beginning to get nervous about where to go from there. 
Health: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★   Intelligence:  ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ Speed:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Agility:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Attack:  ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Defence: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
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the-film-bitch · 8 years ago
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Manchester by the Sea (2016)  ★★★★
Its casting of Casey Affleck (who was accused in 2010 of sexual harassment by several colleagues) has drawn sharp criticism (and, juxtapositionally, accolades), but Kenneth Lonergan’s Manchester by the Sea is otherwise a quiet spectacle. It marks the third directing project for the oft-nominated screen- and playwriter behind 2000’s You Can Count On Me and the off-Broadway play This Is Our Youth – which, incidentally gave Casey Affleck his first stage role. It is fitting, then, that Lonergan should give Affleck his career high in Manchester by the Sea.
Set under choral tones, Manchester opens on an idyllic scene of two and a half men and a boat. The camera keeps a respectful distance from the father, uncle and boy, keeping sacred their laddish banter and affectionate roughhousing from intrusive angles. As it turns out, the scene is a brief flashback into the memory of Lee Chandler (Casey Affleck), who, by now, is a solitary, long-suffering janitor whose only proximity to a functional life is in the many call-outs he receives from his eclectic residents. Their lives are hardly riveting, but nonetheless seem busy and full in a self-important way, while Lee looks impassively on, resisting (or lacking) both the friendly inclination to chat and the nervous urge to suspend awkward silences, his wordless apathy instead almost ringing in your ears.
Soon, too, we learn something else is conspicuously lacking for Lee: sex. Implicit and explicit flirtations from women around him are received almost unwillingly, and always go unanswered, with the impotency here seeming more self-imposed than medically inflicted. Sex is a constant, tiring chase for men in most film, so when Lee remains unresponsive to the sexual cues of his admirers, something strikes - cinematically - as deeply off. Even without the chirpy flashback we get in the film’s opening, Lonergan’s screenplay does all it needs to demonstrate just how gutted out this Lee is by virtue of these small moments of decisive inaction.
Tragedy forces Lee out from self-inflicted isolation when older brother Joe (a grizzly Kyle Chandler) passes away from a chronic heart condition, leaving Lee to return home to settle his affairs, the most pressing of which is custody of teenager Patrick (an excellent Lucas Hedges), whom Joe had been a single parent to. In Manchester’s close-knit community, everyone seems to know the family, but what might initially be mistaken for small-town conviviality is soon revealed to be more than that for the younger brother: ‘So that’s Lee Chandler? THE Lee Chandler?’
In spite of the barren snowscapes of Manchester, the ground remains ripe for revisiting Lee’s past. Here, Manchester becomes a film about loss – about the managing and manageability of fresh grief, and the aching endurance of old mourning. Joe’s death undoubtedly hits his loved ones hard – see the freezer scene – but Lee and Patrick’s deepest grief is sublimated under school, girlfriends, bar fights (for Lee at least, hinting at a hyper-masculine thwarting of emotion) and the day-to-day trivialities thrown up by the bureaucracy of dying: finding the cheapest way to transport Joe’s body to the funeral home, selling off his boat, and waiting for the ground to thaw before the burial can happen. 
This grief, therefore, can be coped with – worked through – in contrast to Lee’s persistent self-flagellation over a tragic accident from his past. Triggered by the reading of Joe’s will, which names Lee as Patrick’s guardian, flashbacks fill us in on what is really the emotional grist of the story: the reason for Lee’s transformation. Manchester’s writing resists patronising with platitudes here, dealing instead in only the hard facts of life: time doesn’t heal everything, and things don’t always stop hurting just because you leave them alone.
This is not to say that the film lapses into full nihilistic gloom. Life has been unfair to Lee, yes – but for Lonergan, the real cruelty is in his self-inflicted eternal damnation; the withholding of his own forgiveness of himself. Lonergan indicates that salvation comes from within more than without: the single tearful exchange Lee has with ex-wife Randi (the under-used and excellent Michelle Williams) is poignant, and specifically so because it ought to dissolve away his guilt, but it doesn’t – because he won’t let it. The pathos forms naturally here, partly as a result of Affleck’s nuanced performance, but it is in Kenneth Lonergan’s writing, where the unspoken and the un-acted find subtle expression, that Manchester does its best work.
Lonergan’s film takes great pains to further save its audience from complete despondency by way of comedy. Inept paramedics disturb the sombre fluidity of the film’s most horrifying event, maturing the film in its embrace of the farces of life, while the wry, sarcastic exchanges between Lee and Patrick help to lighten the dialogue by excellently conveying the sardonic mettle we associate with hardy New Englanders. These delicate comedic elements mesh perfectly with the film’s quotidian nature, but what I think work less well are the self-referential meta-jokes: an early barfight scene plays out underneath Ray Charles’ ‘Oh, What A Beautiful Morning’, with punches being thrown to the line ‘Everything’s going my way…’, and there’s an odd, long shot of director Lonergan (who takes a cameo role as a disapproving bystander) walking away that couldn’t have been included as much more than a cinematographic wisecrack. Manchester doesn’t need ironic juxtaposition or winks to the audience to rescue itself from the wallow-pit of despair: its otherwise excellent screenplay is its saviour.
Irrespective of its icy setting, A.O. Scott has pointed out that Manchester by the Sea is coloured by whiteness. That there are only three characters of colour (and minor ones at that) – a doctor, a boss and a tenant – does not recuse the film of racial analysis; rather, studying films that are white by isolation, whether accidently so or not, can reveal much. With respect to Manchester, its racial politics (whether intentional or otherwise) are best illuminated in a police station scene, during which Lee’s admission to taking drugs and being the accidental instigator of something horrifying is met with outright compassion and a no-further-questions attitude from the interviewing officers. It is perhaps possible to read the police’s abject sympathy as indicative of the terrible tragedy of Lee’s mistake and the intense feelings of guilt he plainly has – or of Manchester’s close-knittedness – but for many, the scene will have obvious correlations with modern America. The readiness with which Lee, a white man, is vindicated of all blame exemplifies, in my eyes, the instinctive camaraderie that whiteness offers – the same unquestioning trust and sense of shared humanity which is denied, often fatally, to so many people of colour in their interactions with police.
The court of the self rejects their absolution, though, and Lee takes it upon himself to self-punish for everything the police deemed him innocent of. As it turns out, his thankless minimum wage janitor job and the accompanying bleakness of his one-room habitat were a conscious choice – a kind of public penance – imposed by his tortured conscience. Lee’s banishment extends to his deliberate celibacy, perhaps as atonement for the laddish, flippant treatment of ex-wife Randi we glimpse in flashback. Boorish bravado and intimacy get the chop, with all that emotion being rerouted into Sisyphean manual labour and masochistic violence. Lee is his own worst enemy.
With a rich subtext, Manchester by the Sea is a film that insinuates more than it says – though, because of this, it’s also a film that might not hit the mark on first viewing. Some rare missteps aside, it builds, from quiet beginnings, to be a complex study of grief and guilt as seen through the lens of a life lived one day at a time. Casey Affleck gives an emotionally paralysed performance – his best to date – while Kenneth Lonergan rights the wrongs of past works to deliver a dark tragedy that is thrown into relief only by its commitment to honouring life’s dry wit.
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dadjokestop · 3 months ago
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Ready to dive into the world of humor that walks on the wild side? Dark humor jokes have a unique way of poking fun at life’s absurdities, often leaving us chuckling even in the most unexpected moments. If you’re someone who appreciates comedy that pushes boundaries, you’ve come to the right place! Here are ten dark humor jokes with no limits that will surely make you laugh (and maybe cringe a little). 1. The Ambitious Ghost Q: Why don’t ghosts ever go out on Halloween? A: Because they’re too busy working on their boo-tiful resumes! 2. The Optimistic Undertaker Q: Why did the undertaker break up with his girlfriend? A: She just couldn’t handle his “dead”pan humor! 3. The Philosophical Zombie Q: Why don’t zombies ever eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny! 4. The Dark Joke Q: I have a joke about trickle-down economics… A: But 99% of you will never get it! 5. The Sassy Grim Reaper Q: Why did the Grim Reaper get a promotion? A: He had a killer work ethic! 6. The Patient Patient Q: What do you call a doctor who’s lost his license? A: A butcher! 7. The Unfortunate Firefighter Q: Why did the firefighter bring a ladder to the bar? A: Because he heard the drinks were on the house! 8. The Cheerful Funeral Director Q: What’s the funeral director’s favorite game? A: Monopoly—because he loves to take people’s properties! 9. The Ambitious Executioner Q: Why did the executioner start a podcast? A: He wanted to make his “chop” talk! 10. The Honest Psychopath Q: What did the psychopath say to his therapist? A: “I think I’m going to need a bigger couch!” There you have it—ten dark humor jokes that embrace the unexpected and make light of life’s more serious topics. While these jokes might not be for everyone, they can serve as a reminder that laughter can come from the most unlikely places. So, share these gems with fellow dark humor enthusiasts and enjoy a good laugh together!
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