#a breakup for the plot alone and it just feels wrong and stupid

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#I Just Got Deja Vu

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Aspec people aren’t repressed?

I felt repressed when I had a breakdown a few days after I figured out my sexuality because I realized that so much of my life plan (traditional ideas of finding love, getting married, having kids, etc.) just didn’t fit with who I was. Sometimes I still think about it, and it still makes me sad, because the plan I had for my future for so much of my life has been completely flipped on its head.

I feel repressed when people ask me when I’m going to get a boyfriend.

I felt repressed when I walked in on my friend bawling her eyes out, thinking something is terribly wrong, and then finding out she was crying because a boy she really liked rejected her for what she thought was a stupid reason (two year age gap, means a lot in high school).

I feel repressed when I see everyone around me getting into relationships and leaving me behind.

I feel repressed when I lose friendships because they get so focused on their new partner that they forget all about me, then come crawling back to be comforted after they break up.

I feel repressed when my friend (the same one who was bawling her eyes out because of the age gap thing) will hear a dirty joke and cover my ears while saying that I’m “too innocent” or I’ll ask her what someone said and she’ll say, “you don’t wanna know” and I just know it was something sexual.

I feel repressed when my friends make comments about sex or romance and then glance at me and apologize. Like, I don’t care. And it makes me more uncomfortable when you do that than if you just treat me like a normal person! Like how people think you’re not supposed to use the word “see” when talking to a blind person, but really they don’t care. It just makes us feel weirder and like an “other” that you act differently around.

I felt repressed when, before I knew I was aroace, I told someone (can’t be bothered to remember who) that I was a virgin, and they asked if I was weirdly religious or something and I was confused because I just genuinely didn’t want to have sex with anyone.

I feel repressed when every time I come out I also have to give a lesson on my sexuality because despite the fact that I live in a very progressive area with a high LGBTQIA+ population, almost no one knows what being aromantic or asexual means, let alone being aroace.

I feel repressed when coming out has an extra layer of fear because not only am I afraid they won’t accept me, but I’m also afraid they’ll say I’m broken. Or “haven’t found the right person yet.” Or that they’ll suddenly think less of me now because they think I’m not capable of love. Which isn’t true at all (no hate to my loveless aros out there, y’all are valid and y’all are perfect just the way you are). I love my family, I love my friends, I love my dogs, I have so much love to give, just not in the romantic form that people consider so much more important than any other kind of love.

I feel repressed when, as an avid reader who actively avoids the romance genre, every single book I pick up has to have at least one romantic subplot. I mainly read fantasy, but no matter what book I pick up there is always some romance plot that I just have to deal with. There are some romance plots I really like, but when they’re just there for no reason and add nothing to the plot or overall story it’s just so frustrating.

I feel repressed when I’ll hear about how good a book is, but then I’ll read it and there’s spice that just wasn’t mentioned at all. Like, this has happened with pretty much every booktok famous book that I have bought and tried to read. Fourth Wing is the most recent example. And sometimes it feels like a book won’t get popular unless there’s spice.

I feel repressed when it feels like literally every song I try to listen to is about romance or breakups and it’s so hard to find songs that aren’t about romance. When I’m having a bad day and I want to listen to some music to calm down I have to be very careful about what music I listen to, because some days listening to love songs just reminds me of everything I’m missing out on and it can just make me spiral and spiral.

I feel repressed when I’ve literally only ever seen one canon aspec character in any movie or tv show I’ve watched (Isaac in Heartstopper, fantastic show, 10/10 recommend). And the only other one that I hear about consistently is Alastor from Hasbin Hotel, and even then a lot of the stuff I see with him completely disregards his canon sexuality!

I feel repressed when we literally have to fight off hoards of bots from our tags on tumblr because they think it’s okay to put a crap ton of sexual content in the asexual tag of all places!

I feel repressed when @staff does literally nothing to stop these bots, leaving it all up to US to fight for our tag, somewhere that is supposed to be our safe space!

I feel repressed when I get tagged in picrew chains and they have every LGBTQIA+ flag that you could think of, except for the asexual or aromantic flags. I have yet to encounter a single picrew that has the aroace flag.

I feel repressed when I, as someone who has known she was aroace for about six months now, only just recently found out that aroace has its own flag that is separate from the asexual and aromantic flags. For MONTHS I was just using the asexual and aromantic flags and colors, because I just didn’t know that aroace had its own flag.

I feel repressed when I’m typing a post about being aroace and my phone underlines it in red because it doesn’t recognize it as a word. One time I had to literally save a post to my drafts and step away from my phone because I was on the verge of a breakdown after seeing my phone flag the word aroace so many times. It also doesn’t recognize aromantism as a word. It recognizes asexual, aromantic, and asexuality. Just not aromantism or aroace.

So don’t sit up there on your high and mighty privileged horse and tell us that we are not repressed. Don’t tell us that we can’t ask for representation. Don’t tell us that we can’t try to fit in and belong in a society that is so obsessed with everything we lack. Don’t tell us we are broken, or that we haven’t found the right person yet, or that we don’t exist.

We are here. We are real. We are human. We are not broken. And we refuse to be silenced by people who refused to acknowledge and accept our existence.

The A in LGBTQIA+ doesn't stand for aspec because they're not repressed!

(please read the disclaimer at the end of this post)

Ummm, excuse me? Would you mind telling me what your definition of repression is, then?

Because I feel repressed when a doctor asks me about my sex life, and if I say I have none, it gets marked down as a symptom without being asked if I suffer from it.

I feel repressed when my gyn tells me I can't get a hysterectomy yet despite losing so much blood on every period that I need to take iron supplements all the time, because I could change my mind about not wanting children (which is a whole other post, I know, but it's most likely linked to sex).

I feel repressed if I can't use dating apps or platforms because my sexuality doesn't even exist there, and the one time I tried, I got called names because I didn't want to meet for because it was clear where this date would go, despite my explicit "what I'm looking for".

I feel repressed when I think about how recently a paragraph was finally abolished in my country that considered sex a vital part of a marriage, basically entitling the spouses to having sex with their partner (both gender neutral, because entitling people to having sex with somebody else by law is wrong. It's basically a rape permission).

I feel repressed when I can't watch any film or show without it being about love and/or sex, no matter if it fits the narrative and furthers the plot.

I feel repressed when I plot my own stories and automatically put a romantic couple in there as main characters, even though I have no idea why this would be important for the plot. Not even my own stories, my own thoughts are mine.

I felt repressed when I was asked accusingly in a relationship if I wasn't missing something before I even knew asexuality as a spectrum was a thing, and having to lie about this being a side effect of my medication instead of genuinely not feeling attracted to someone in this way.

I feel repressed when I can't tell people I'm not sexually attracted to them because they will take this personally no matter how well I explain myself.

I feel repressed when everywhere I look there's advertising relying on naked skin, suggestive posing and objectification. Why are expensive cars still presented by women considered beautiful and tempting? It's not like that's necessary to convince people of spending so much money on a thing that gets you from A to B. Couches with women in smart dresses and high heels. That's not what a normal person looks like on a couch. But the worst is a truck in the town where I live: it's from a small fruit and vegetable stand, so whenever I see it, it comes from the warehouse, delivering groceries. On it is a woman clad in very little, presenting fruit. I'm sorry, but why? Does a misogynistic picture convince you of the necessity to avoid scurvy?

I feel repressed when I tell people and get the answer "you just haven't found the right person yet", because there are two possible assumptions from that point: I'm either not trying hard enough (so it's basically my own fault) or something about me is not right, appalling even (which circles back to I'm not trying hard enough or frames me as a victim of my genetics, upbringing or circumstances to be pitied).

Do not tell me how I feel. Do not try to tell me everything is fine and I shouldn't complain or ask for acknowledgement if everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how odd, how weird and how not normal I am. How much it inconveniences you to even acknowledge my existence, let alone respect any of my traits, views and choices.

And while I can only write from my own asexual point of view, I wrote this with all kinds of flavours of aspec in mind, so I'm explicitly including aromantics, aroace people and every shade of the spectrum in this. Not all my examples may apply to you, but I hope you can find something to relate to.

ETA: please feel free to add your own experiences of repression!

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

REBELDE S2 WAS A HOT MESS (major spoilers ahead)

Plot

I think conceptually speaking having Gus as a villain this season was a good idea. Who can be a bigger enemy to music than s producer only interested in money who exploits his artists? I hated that he died in the end. Biggest wtf of the season, now he exits the next season completely and our mains are left to deal with the fallout in what most likely will be an attempt to copy Elite. Rebelde is about the music and the highschool drama not an student accidentally killing one of the most important producers in the country, what?????

Characters

Esteban was interesting this season, i like that tried to kind of make him the villain. Him getting sucked into Gus bullshit and doing whatever it took to be the best was a nice change from him being really plain last season. I hated him 80% of this seasons runtime but at least this was intentional on the writer's part. I'm so not looking forward to the murder plot with him next season.

Jana works better when she is alone than with Esteban, they make each other lamer, I thought her arc about not having to always please everybody was cool, and i don't think her conflict at the beginning of the season with MJ was nonsensical at all. She's 16, of course she's jealous of someone who could steal her spotlight, not to mention MJ was her friend and left her and the band to go with Jana's shitty ex lol. I like that the girls ended up together at the end and it didn't feel like something forced to me, so many things had happened to them by that point that the reason they were fighting in the first place probably felt stupid anyways.

Dixon is one my favorites lol, this guy is ride or die with everybody. He was willing to keep going with the band, to forgive MJ, he was even trying to help Esteban before he turned into an asshole, i think he's actually the most mature one of the bunch. Whether he was the best in the class depends on personal taste but I think it was well done in the sense that he was the only one to stand up to Gus and remain true to himself as an artist. I like his friendship with Jana cause we almost never get platonic relationship in teen media between girls and boys without feelings being involved, i screamed when they kissed but I hope they keep it as a "we were just too drunk" thing. I liked him with MJ at first, now I think he deserves better.

MJ didn't really have an arc this season, she was just doing her own thing, the actress is a really talented singer so I wish she was more present in the race for Gus's contract. I think she and Sebastian were pretty cute together but I could see their breakup coming from a mile away (more on this in his section). I didn't mind her bit with the pregnancy scare (sin gorrito no hay fiesta, guys) and i just want her to have more to do next season.

Fucking Sebastian. I like to believe that if he knew Gus was such a monumental asshole he wouldn't have done what he did at the end. I thought his arc about being a better person because of MJ was cute however what was wrong from the start is he was changing because of her so I knew the moment she was gone, he was going to go back. My guy just needs therapy and i would have more sympathy for him if his entire villain arc in s1 wasn't based around him being classist lol. (Also I can't believe we were doing the i can fix him in the year of our lord 2022).

I hate what they did to Andi and Emelia. I didn't mind Andi's addiction arc per se because it's pretty common in the music industry, I hate that it made her absent for a pretty good chunk of the major drama this season and that they broke her up with Emelia that way. The thing is, i don't think before the song thing they were actually "bad for each other" their relationship didn't have any major problems before so breaking them up was the most homophobic act of 2022.

Luka is above good and evil in the show, he's kind of an ass but he has been like that since day one and everybody has learned to tolerate him so really, he's just fun. I hope they would've spent more time with him an Okane being actually together but they are only a thing in the last 3 episodes and Luka is literally unconscious in the last one so we were given cruuuuuuumbs. I thought the scarf thing was really cute, I love them, please don't take them away.

I didn't expect much from Okane but he was a pleasant surprise. It's a shame they ruined his storyline with Jana by adding the sex tape thing because he gave her actual good advice (apart from the drugs) and i think they could have s great friendship dynamic, he could certainly make her more interesting. Idk where he went at the end, i just want him to be left alone in this entire bullshit plotline and be happy and home with Luka.

[scented-morker]

Unexpected

Sypnosis. Agreeing to go to a frat party two weeks after being cheated on and dumped is pretty common. Being the star player of beer pong after having never played before is a little less common. But falling for the frat boy with a boyish smile while trying to make your ex jealous? That was unexpected.

Pairing. Fratboy Jake (‼️) x fem reader, ft roommates Ryujin and Yeji, frat friends Sunghoon and Heeseung, ex Jay, beerpong challenger Karina (hinted sunghoon x Yeji dynamic only for the story !!)

Warnings. Drinking, use of the nickname “pretty girl”, a very detailed game of beer pong, slightly suggestive? (mentions a girl all up on your ex a few times)

Wc. 3280

an. I WROTE THIS WHEN I HIT 300 SOMETHING ABOUT FRAT BOY JAKE JUST AHHHHHH IN MY JAKE BRAINROT HOURS AND I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE THE WAY THIS TURNED OUT SO 😁

“Come on y/n!! It’s been two weeks!!” Yeji complained, having just been rejected for the tenth time.

“I don’t want to go to some stupid frat party with you guys when my boyfriend just dumped me!” You huffed, snatching back the pail of cookie dough she had stolen moments prior and shoving another spoonful in your mouth.

“I mean he’s over it already,” Ryujin said nonchalantly, showing you the screen of her cellphone where an Instagram story from last night included a video of your ex Jay all up on another girl while the original poster posed in the foreground.

“I mean technically he was over it before they broke up since he cheated so maybe not the best thing to bring up, but I’m happy you’re on my side,” Yeji responded as she stole the phone out of your hands and gave it back to the blue haired owner.

“Thanks for reminding me guys, now I’m totally in the mood to party.”

“Really?” Your roommate looked so excited that you questioned her brain cells.

“No. That was a joke. Why would being reminded I was cheated on make me want to party?”

“To show him how hot and unbothered you are?”

This catches your attention, and Yeji notices the way you perk up, continuing on the path to convince you.

“I mean he didn’t even break up with you himself, he probably thinks you’re all sad and alone right now! Think how good it would feel to prove him wrong!”

She gets you thinking and your brain turns back to all of the photos you’ve seen from Jay since the breakup. The same smug look is on his face in every one, and you know what it means. It’s the “I just broke a heart” smugness that only the most evil of playboys wear like a badge.

You were so going to wipe that look off his face.

“I’m in.”

You were too busy plotting your revenge to notice the way the girls high five, loudly cheering at their success.

Now, hours later and dressed in a skintight dress of Yeji’s and Ryujin’s thigh high boots, you’re trying to remind yourself why you’re doing this.

“Make him pay, prove him wrong!” The girls repeat with you on the car ride there, the words ringing out in moments of silence between Taylor Swift songs.

By the time Yeji parks the party has already started, you pass random people making out on the stairs before getting to the front door, and you curse yourself for being happy when none of them are Jay.

“Let’s get this party started!” Ryujin yelled, easily melding into the mass of dancing bodies, the crowd making room for “the life of the party” as someone random (and loud) dubbed your roommate.

You watched as she blended in seamlessly with her surroundings, and despite fitting in in terms of outfit and presence, you still felt out of place.

Yeji noticed your hesitance and grabbed your hand, leading you to a destination she didn’t bother telling you.

You’d been to a few frat parties with Jay when you were together, although you can’t say you’ve ever enjoyed one. Most of your time was spent sitting on whatever grubby couch was in the living room while your boyfriend hung out with “his boys”.

Yeji drags you to the kitchen, walking up to a tall boy standing by the counter top.

“Sunghoon! Get my friend something to forget about her ex!”

“As in a drink or a rebound? Because I can do either, I think Jake’s around here somewhere” He winks at you, and Yeji turns as well.

You realize they’re waiting for a response and you laugh, “Let’s start with just the drink for now.”

Yeji gives you a grin and turns back around.

“You heard the girl Hoon, we need drinks!”

He laughs, pouring random things from glass bottles into plastic cups, and when you take a sip you’re surprised it tastes so good.

“This actually doesn’t taste like ass, thank you.” You compliment, and Yeji laughs, patting Sunghoon on the back.

“You just got the y/n stamp of approval.”

“Oh did I?”

You take a few more gulps of your drink as they continue to banter before finally giving up.

“Okay I’m walking out, you can continue to flirt in peace.”

“No wait!” Yeji pouts, “are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“Yes Yeji, I’ll be fine, especially now thanks to whatever is in this cup!”

You raise the plastic up to Sunghoon as a last motion of gratitude before exiting the kitchen, scanning the room for something to entertain yourself with.

You wander around for too long, and you’re about to give up and take refuge with the weirdos on the couch until you hear yelling that sounds like your roommate.

Following her voice, you see Ryujin at a ping pong table, her weight leaning on it while she repeatedly drops the small plastic ball in her hand.

“You suck at beer pong Ryujin,” a boy with pink hair yells from the other side of the table, and you laugh at the way she throws the ball at his head.

“Hey man this isn’t fair, my partner is obviously out of commission!”

Only then do you notice the brunette next to her, and your heart speeds up seeing the boyish smile on his face, his hair flopping over his forehead as he complains.

“Sorry Jake,” the two men continue talking while you approach Ryujin, picking her head up and giving her a questioning grin.

“What’s up girl?”

“YNIE IS HERE, HI YNIE,” she coos and you laugh when she gives you a big hug.

“Who’s this Ryu?” The boy next to her asks.

“YNIE IS MY ROOMATE!!”

“Roomate, huh? Why’d you never introduce us?” He smirks, holding his hand out to you.

It takes a moment for you to realize he’s waiting for you to shake his hand and you laugh at the formal action taking place at a beer pong table.

However when you give him your hand he pulls you towards him, ending up with you leaning on him, hands on his chest for stability while your cheeks burn hot.

“YEAHHH YNIE GET IT GIRLFRIEND!!” Ryujin cheers before disappearing into the crowd again.

“That was not very kind of you sir,” you scold him, although you still haven’t moved your hands.

“My apologies,” he flashes that charming grin again and you smack yourself at how badly you want to kiss him.

You just met yn!!

“Alright stop flirting Jake, we have a game to finish!” The pink haired boy yells from the other side of the table, the girl next to him nodding in agreement.

“Heeseung, my partner just walked away,” he deadpans.

“We’ll it looks like you’ve found yourself another one, now let’s go!”

The boy, who you now know is the Jake your amateur bartender was referring to earlier, rolls his eyes, releasing you and taking his spot at the table while Heeseung lines up his shot.

“Do you suck at beer pong?” Your new partner asks.

“Never played it,” you respond, watching as the white ball elegantly plops down in one of your cups.

Jake huffs when he sees it, picking up the cup and emptying it in a few gulps.

“Honestly you can’t be worse than I am,” he laughs, handing you a ball.

You raise your eyebrow at him before turning to the pair across from you. All of their cups are still up, meaning Jake hasn’t made it in a single time, compared to the three missing cups on your side.

Giving yourself a mini pep talk in your head, you toss the ball, yelling when it lands in the red cup.

“I did it!”

“You did it!” Jake cheers with you, and the two of you high five as Heeseung downs the cup.

Both teams miss their next shot, and you’re just about to throw again when you see Jay in the crowd, a girl on his arm.

So when Heeseung’s partner lands her ball in your cup the next time, you snatch the cup before Jake gets the chance, chugging it down before slamming it back on the table.

Your partner stares at you in surprise, and maybe awe, as you do so, and he gives you a smirk before handing you the white ball.

“Don’t get too messed up, we need your aim.”

20 minutes pass and you’re now locked in an intense game of beer pong.

A crowd has formed around the table by the time Yeji emerges from the kitchen, bringing you another drink when she joins them.

Ryujin appears too, looking more stable after some water and fresh air, and they shoot death glares at your ex whom you hadn’t noticed standing on the opposite side.

Each team has two cups left, and your vision has gotten increasingly fuzzier as the game has progressed, Jake laughing as both you and heeseung try to win the game while also trying to stay standing up straight.

You miraculously make it in a cup, and Jake picks you up in a hug as he watches his hyung down another cupful.

“One more pretty girl, you got this!”

You let out a girly giggle at the nickname and Jake beams at your reaction.

Heeseung misses his shot and you look at Jake as you try and aim for the last cup.

“Wait, you know what I think will help?” He questions before you can throw.

“What? A gallon of water?”

He laughs at your reasonable suggestion, “of course not.”

You give him a questioning look and he shoots you his smile before leaning in and pressing his lips against the corner of your own, not quite an actual kiss but still enough to get your heart pumping.

“Oooh”s echo through the crowd and you stare at him in shock, ignoring your two roommates once again squealing in celebration.

You finally notice Jay standing in the crowd and a smirk makes its way onto your face. This was the plan.

“If you make this I might actually kiss you,” Jake whispers into your ear, and you bite your lips to contain a smile, aiming the ball and hoping for a miracle.

The entire crowd watches in awe as it lands in the single remaining cup, and Jake screams and picks you up.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Jay roll his eyes and stalk away, his new girl trailing after him like a lost puppy.

You know he’s gone, he can’t see you and therefore it doesn’t matter what you do now. You don’t have to try and make him jealous anymore.

Yet you still find yourself leaning into Jake.

“I made it, pay up.”

It takes a moment for him to process your words before he’s smirking and leaning in to give you a real kiss.

It’s on the lips, a little bit sloppier and longer than your other first kisses have been, but there’s fireworks going off in your head and when you pull away Jake still has the prettiest smile on his face.

You giggle as you hop out of his arms, running towards Ryujin and Yeji.

“OHMYGOSH YNIE JUST KISSED JAKE!!” Then as an afterthought “AND SHE BEAT HEESEUNG AND KARINA AT BEERPONG!!”

You laugh at Ryujins yelling, the three of you joining the crowd that had now dispersed back to the dance floor.

“I don’t know if Jay saw the kiss, I couldn’t see him,” Yeji tells you, remembering the whole point of the night.

“He didn’t.”

When she looks at you in confusion you clarify.

“He walked away before I even took the last shot. He didn’t see it.”

“Then why did you-”

You shrug, smiling dazedly at her and she laughs when she realizes you kissed Jake just to do it, not because of your ex.

“Pretty girl, why’d you leave me?”

A voice speaks in your ear, and you know from the nickname and the voice that it’s your new beer pong partner.

Spinning around to look him in the eyes, you grab onto his shoulders, continuing to sway along to the music.

“Maybe I’m just mysterious like that.”

He laughs at your awful explanation, pulling you closer so that your chests touched and sliding his hands to the small of your back.

“Is that so?”

“Yep!”

“Is that also why I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before? Because of your mysterious-ness?”

“Nope, I only went to other frat parties because I had a loser ex boyfriend,” you yell the last three words, and even though you know no one can hear you over the music it still makes you feel better.

“Oh? And who might that be?”

You look around, spotting Jay close to the two of you, the dainty girl from earlier now even more on him, and you want to puke at her risqué moves around so many other people.

You turn back with a cringe and Jake laughs.

“The one over there letting a freshman all over him in public,” you laugh.

When Jake looks over he notices the way Jay’s eyes are lost on the girl, instead completely focused on you and more specifically, Jake’s hands on your back.

“Do you want to make him really mad?”

You perk up at the offer, you’d pretty much forgotten tonight was supposed to be about exactly that.

“Oh I forgot that’s what I was supposed to be doing! You distracted me!!” You pout and Jake lets out an endeared laugh.

“Well as an apology I’ll help you with it hm? How does that sound?”

You give him an exaggerated nod yes and he smirks as he wraps his arm around your waist.

“Tell your friends we’re making your ex jealous so they don’t think I’m kidnapping you.”

You do as he says, both girls giving you dramatic reactions of kissy faces and winks before going back to dancing.

Jake pulls you through the crowd by his hand wrapped around your waist, “accidentally” bumping into Jay as he pulls you up the stairs and through the hall to where the bedrooms are.

He opens up one of the first ones, and you stroll in, plopping yourself down on the bed.

“Did we just break into someone’s room just to convince my ex we were doing something spicy?”

“Did you just say spicy?” He laughs at your word choice before taking a seat next to you. “And no, this is my room.”

“Your room?”

You get up excitedly, moving to look around at all of the stuff scattered around the room.

There’s a framed picture of him and who you assume to be his parents in his dresser, and you recognize the same boyish grin you had noticed earlier on his face in the photo, although he’s much younger in it.

“That was my high school graduation, and that,” he points to another frame, “is my dog Layla.”

“OH MY GOSH PUPPY!” You squeal, picking up the small black frame and bringing it closer to your face than necessary. “I LOVE HER.”

Jake laughs, grabbing the frame himself.

“Maybe I’ll take you to see her one day.” He says and your heart jumps, but you try to stay realistic.

“I bet you say that to all the girls you drunkenly kiss at parties.”

He grabs your elbows, looking into your eyes.

“Actually I’m sober, and you’re the first girl I’ve kissed in a very long time.”

“Hmm, how long?” You question just to be difficult, and Jake pauses, counting in his head.

“I don’t know, like four months?”

“That seemed very hard for someone so good at math,” you comment, pulling away from him to pick up a trophy from his desk.

“Mathletes, huh? And now you’re a frat boy?”

He pouts at you, stealing the trophy back.

“What, you don’t like guys with brains and social skills?”

“Not necessarily, I’m just pretty sure you don’t actually have either.”

He makes an offended face and you burst into laughter.

He grabs your hands, setting the trophy down and pulling you somewhere else.

However before you can make it to your destination there’s noise coming from the door.

“Someone’s trying to get in my room to make out.” He deadpans again and you try not to laugh.

“That’s disgusting. You know people do that at EVERY PARTY you guys host.”

He holds back a cringe, “yeah I know, I wash my sheets every weekend.”

You laugh as the doorknob turns, and Jake pulls you into his chest for the nth time tonight.

The intruder makes a sound of surprise, and you and Jake turn to look at them.

It’s Jay and the freshman, and Jake’s face breaks out into the most frat boy look you’ve ever seen on him.

“Sorry, occupied.” He smirks before immediately turning back to you, his head going to your neck and you laugh as his breath tickles the sensitive skin.

You’re so focused on Jake that you don’t realize Jay storming out.

“That tickles you jerk,” you complain, smacking his bicep.

“But I’m pretty sure it made your ex mad.”

“I didn’t notice.”

He smirks at your response, and you try not to blush as he just looks at you.

“Okay stop staring it’s been like a full minute you’re aking me nervous,” you finally squeak out and he finally breaks eye contact.

“Are you saying I make you nervous?”

“We’ll no I just,” you can’t think of an excuse so you just stop there and Jake laughs .

“Okay sure.”

He sits down on his bed, pulling you to sit down next to him again.

“You don’t seem that upset about that jerky ex of yours.”

You shrug, trying to put your current feelings into words.

“I don’t know, it was over way before he broke up with me, so I think I knew it was coming. Besides, realizing that he’s a jerk has helped. Plus I don’t know,” you peek up at him through your eyelashes, seeing him listening intently to your words, “I guess I’ve just realized there’s people way better.”

He gives you the smile that’s been tugging at your heartstrings all night and the two of you end up laying down facing each other, talking about random things until you fall asleep in the middle of Jake’s embarrassing story about Sunghoon.

He smiles at your form, peacefully resting on his bed, and he tugs the covers over you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before going downstairs to reassure your friends that you were okay.

They were not in any shape to be driving, same as many of the houseguests, so he reassured them that they could join you in his bedroom if wanted.

When they fought him for the floor he finally gave up, setting up blankets on the carpet for whenever they finished partying and felt like coming up to crash.

He climbed under the comforter with you, wrapping his arms around your figure and smiling brightly when you unconsciously snuggled into his chest.

Bonus: Jay got so messed up that night after seeing you with Jake that he couldn’t drive home and had to crash with one of the frat members, only to wake up and have the first thing he sees be Jake walking you out of his bedroom, a lovesick look on both of your faces and your body clad in the charming boy’s hoodie. Jake winked at him when they made eye contact, grabbing you by the too-long hoodie sleeves on your arms and taking you home.

[eliza1911o1]

I hate stereotypical romances that are built on misunderstandings that are so stupid and frustrating you can barely finish them, but somehow ofmd took that idea and made into the best possible breakup story. The entire final conflict between Stede and Ed stems from insecurities and one huge misunderstanding/miscommunication

Stede, while he cares deeply for Ed and would have probably run away had he been given the chance, doesn’t know what he’s feeling and is overwhelmed by the uncertainty of a new life with Ed as well as a lack of resolution from his old life. Then Chauncey pretty much tells him he makes everything he touches worse and, after people constantly telling him the same thing (primarily concerning his effect on Ed), he does what everyone has wanted him to do: give up pirating, which in his eyes is protecting Ed from himself

But Ed has no clue about any of this. I would say Ed is more self-assured in his actions (as in he’s able to do whatever the fuck he wants and doesn’t care about what other people think or how it affects them since he’s always been praised) but has mountains of self-loathing so I don’t think he would even think to assume that Stede was scared due to his guilt. And he knows it’s possible Stede might not be able to accept all of him, because when Calico Jack showed up and bits of his original self began to resurface, Stede was visibly upset. I don’t think he realized this might have been from jealousy and instead worked towards getting rid of that side of himself to be with Stede. The reason he just leaves without checking what happened to Stede is because he told himself “I was right, you are a monster, no one could ever love you” and was too broken to try and find a reason otherwise which is exactly what Stede thought

They have no clue what the other is thinking and because they have so little self-love they just assume it’s safer to be alone. Stede realizes this line of thinking is wrong, finally, but Ed still hasn’t. He thinks he’s all alone and he’s under the influence of the most toxic little repressed gay to ever set sail (Izzy), so there’s no way he’s going to figure this out in the way Stede did with the help of Mary and everyone kind of hating him. While everything was telling Stede his return to his old life was wrong, everything (Izzy) is telling Ed that his return to his old life is right even when he knows it’s wrong. He thinks he’s the issue

Again, I hate this sort of thing usually but in this case the conflict isn’t stupid or just there for the plot. This misunderstanding occurs because of feelings you can’t control and although that’s heartbreaking it makes their relationship that much realer. And I trust that the creators are going to address those issues maturely as well, talking it through, eventually. I’m all for some angst spinning out of control as long it gets cleaned up in the end though :)

[urcuteharrington]

hi, I just saw your post asking for some requests. Maybe if you can do a Steve angst but with a little bit of fluff? 💛💛

forgotten?☁️🕊

summary-steve seemed to have forgotten you when nancy came into the picture

word count-1.8k

warnings-fighting and cursing

a/n-i really hope you guys enjoyed this because it took me so long to write but i appreciate you all and i’m so glad to be back 🤍

masterlist

huge thanks to @angsty-plots for giving me ideas for new angst plots<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

steve and i were good friends that was until he started dating nancy wheeler. it use to be steve and i doing everything together hanging out at each others houses, long car rides , going to tommy’s parties , and now he forgot all about me. i knew steve had a crush on ever since the beginning... i saw the way he looked at her when she would walk past him , i saw the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about her or whenever she was around. it use to be steve, tommy, carol, and i hanging out at lunch everyday but i was soon replaced when steve asked nancy to go to his house for a hangout with carol and tommy since his parents were out of town. that night he only invited me out of pity and i saw the subtitle flirting between the two and it made me sick. i walked barb that night to the bathroom after she sliced her thumb trying to open a beer can.” i know steve has gauze and bandages somewhere here ill look just keep your hand under the water” i tell her. that night i saw nancy and steve go into his room and i knew what was going to happen and i couldn’t bare being their for it. I said my goodbye to barb wishing her a safe ride home and went on my way. remembering that night i cried my heart out wondering why steve never expressed interest in me.

That was months ago now it’s around october and it was tommy’s halloween bash. i wasn’t going to go but i decided that it was better than sitting at home doing nothing. i knew i was going to see steve their with nancy but i still went even if it was going to hurt seeing my best friend who forgot i even existed. I go dressed up as (whatever you want) and grab my keys getting ready to head off to the party. pulling up to the house i already see drunk teens walking around with their heels in hand or wobbling around. i walk in and head over to the kitchen and try to grab a drink of spiked punch. while pouring i look over and see them... steve and nancy dancing to the beat of the music. a sudden wave of sadness hit and i decided to take a sip of the punch feeling the alcohol run down my throat.

minutes pass and i decided to stay in the kitchen since i felt like it was my best bet to not run into them while on the dance floor. watching the drunken teens flirting and stumbling their words amused on how quickly the punch could get someone drunk.then i saw her , the girl who stole my best friend from me and the boy i loved. nancy walked into the kitchen and grabbed more cups of the spiked punch , one after another i was able to see her get completely shitfaced in the ,mater of only a few minutes. steve came looking for nancy and they got into a fight and i watched intensely. watching as the punch spilled all over her while sweater my mouth opened a jar shocked at how messy everything was getting. watching her and steve storm over to the bathroom. moments later i move to the living room near the front door and suddenly get shouldered by steve who seemed furious and watching jonathan rush to the bathroom. i decided to stay a little longer since the party was still going strong.

a few days later i noticed that steve and nancy were slowly falling out since he wasn’t visiting her at school anymore and her and jonathan seemed to have gotten closer. they seemed to be done and whatever was said in that bathroom must have been bad. i decided to go to steve’s house and check up on him, even if we weren’t friends anymore i didnt want to see him go through something like a breakup alone. knocking on his front door i waited anxiously wondering if i was making the wrong choice. “ hey how can i- oh hi y/n. i didnt uh expect you to be here?” steve says opening the door confused. “ i know steve but i wanted to talk to you” i say as he walks me to his room to talk.” hey i was actually gonna go out and apologize to nancy so if you can come and help me pick something out for her” my heart sank i haven’t talked to him in months and he already brought her up. not a hey how are you or a i miss you nothing its always about her i think to myself. “ oh i actually came to talk to you about something “ “ shoot” he says.” why did you stop talking to me” silence filled the room 1...2...3 minutes passed waiting for him to say something anything” steve you left me for nancy and i dont get what i did for you to sto talking to me. i understand shes your girlfriend but shit i didnt think you’d completely forget about me” i say standing up from his bed looking at him with sadness in my eyes.” i-i thought you didn’t want to hang out with us anymore y/n i didnt notice at first i i’m so sorry” he says guilt in his voice.” i feel like i lost the only person i truly cared about and and you were my friend and now you don’t even look my way steve how could you not notice me not being their... how did you not notice me not their at your basketball games cheering you on or the long car rides we would have just blasting music or going to tommy’s parties and taking turns getting shit faced. tell me steve is it me was i just not who you wanted to be around anymore was she my replacement because i saw it since the beginning” chocking on my words i hold back my tears. i didnt want to cry but eventually it fell and my vision blurred with tears.” y/n i never ment to make you feel that way and i am so sorry i guess i just got so caught up in nancy and i didnt notice you slowly leave and i i just feel terrible “ steve looked at me finally realizing how much he affected me and how much pain he caused me. “steve if you didnt want to be friends anymore you could have just told me you really hurt me” i say to him not daring to look him in the eyes.”i-i” is all he could say” you know what steve a simple hey i dont think we should be friends anymore its not your fault i just think we should go our own ways would have been nice” i say to him walking past him” you know thanks for being my friend for so many years but i cant be friends with someone who doesn’t give two shits about me anymore” i say as i walk out the door and walk back home since it was only a few houses down.steve not moving just in shock realizing that he was the reason why he lost his best friend.

days past and steve found out that nancy liked jonathan and accepted it telling her its okay and like that they broke up. driving around i felt a wave of sadness hit when the song steve and i would listen to while blasting music. tears spill down my face as i drive home. once i make it home i calm myself down and wash up when i suddenly hear the doorbell go off. walking over i open the door seeing the infamous billy hargrove “ hey their doll face i was wondering if you’ve seen my little sister max i know that you tutor some of her friends so i was wondering if you could help me figure out where the byers house is” he says licking his lips seductively “ yeah i could take you their and help you look for your little sister just let me grab my stuff “ i say looking at him.” after getting to the byers house i stay in the car until i see steve walk out confused at why he is their. everything happened so fast punches were thrown and now i’m driving the kids to this random area in hawkins. steve wakes up and sees me driving confused at how he ended up in this situation. getting to the destination steve and i talk while the kids grab everything. in the car they explained everything that happened in thus far with el , will, the upsidown , and etc. “ we broke up” steve says looking at me “ what why are you okay” even if we weren’t close anymore i didnt want him to feel like he had no one. “ she likes jonathan and the night of the party she called our relationship bullshit and i accepted it since i-“ dustin cuts him off by yelling at him how we didnt have enough time.

getting the kids out of the tunnels one by one steve was just about to help me up when he grabbed onto me tightly in a protective matter when the demo dogs ran toward us. watching as they ran past us he told me” i lost you once and i’m not gonna lose you again”getting out of the tunnels i was able to fully process everything that happened and once el closed the gate and steve and i were finally alone he broke the silence “ i love you y/n i never ment to hurt you and i’m sorry.” speechless i sit their “ steve i know you loved nan-“ he cuts me off “ after our first fight i knew she loved jonathan and i guess i couldn’t believe it till she called our relationship bullshit and i love you so much y/n and it was stupid of me to not tell you earlier” “ i love you too steve but what you did hurt me i mean you completely forgot about me” “ i know y/n but could you give me a second chance i’ll make it up to you... could i take you on a date and patch everything up” i really didn’t want to forgive him but i couldn’t just abandon him because i needed him i loved him and he loved me “ i would love that steve “ i say looking at him with love in my eyes and a smile plastered on my face.

[thoushallnotfall]

God Bless the Children of the Beast - Part 8

Previous // Masterlist

Pairing: The Dirt!Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Notes: Ugh, this one was a chore. I had to rewrite a chunk of it since I changed my mind about some stuff…it was a whole thing.

I am playing chess with so many plot elements right now and some of them are like so freaking long game; like hang with me this is gonna be one of those updates that makes sense 8 updates later. Like I am laying the ground work for the bigger picture I swear it’s all relevant and my narrative choices will make sense later. (probably)

1984 is almost over… 🙃

Warnings: N/A (I don’t think anything majorly bad happens in this update?? So used to them at least doing drugs…)

1984

After your fight with Nikki, the atmosphere on the set of the video shoot had been less than stellar. It’s a wonder you all had managed to finish filming at all.

You were angry at Nikki for what he’d done and for putting you in an awkward position with Tommy, and in turn Nikki was trying to avoid you as much as possible. Then, you felt guilty about keeping the whole thing a secret from Tommy, which made you feel awkward around him; so it was easier for you to just try and avoid him all together if you could.

Tommy was trying to calm Roxy down after meeting his parents, and he was kind of pissed at you for laughing at the whole ‘groupie’ comment his mother had made. Normally you’d be upset about this, but it actually worked out in your favor, since you were trying to avoid him anyway. Still, how long could you keep this up? How long could you keep your distance from your best friend? How long could you lie to him, even if you knew it was for his own good?

The shoot done, you’d all retreated back to the hotel. After a long, hot shower, you called Razzle. You talked to him most nights now; some days it was only a few minutes, just to check in, see how the tour was going, make sure everyone was doing okay before he and his boys went out to party and you and yours did the same. Other times, the two of you stayed on the phone for hours, talking through the night. You had seen the long-distance bills from the hotels when you helped Doc with the paperwork–they were outrageous; but you didn’t care. It was worth it.

You had debated whether you should tell him about what was going on with you and Nikki, just so you could get it off your chest. Normally, if you had an issue like this, you would go straight to Tommy, or in the past Nikki; the fact that they were both at the center of the problem meant you had no one else to turn to. You could talk to Vince or Mick–under normal circumstances you would trust them enough to confide in them, but this issue was delicate; what if something happens and they accidentally told Tommy? You couldn’t risk anyone else close to you finding out and telling him. But then trusting someone new was, for lack of a better word–scary–and you weren’t sure if you were ready to put that level of trust in Razzle yet.

When you called him, you hadn’t really planned on telling him; you were just going to have a normal conversation. But he’d picked up on it immediately; he could tell something was wrong just by the tone of your voice. When he asked you about it, you realized you wanted to trust him, and you decided to take a chance and open up to him.

It felt good to talk. Not just to tell him about the situation, but to tell him how you felt about it. Razzle listened, telling you he honestly wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was, but that he was there for you, and you only had to call if you ever needed anything. Just listening was enough; just being there was enough.

And you really did love him for that.

—

After the shoot, there had been a noticable change in the dynamic of your group. No one wanted to talk about it, but the difference was obvious. You could barely stand to be around Nikki; between your anger at his actions with Roxie and his increasingly rude and inconsiderate behavior towards everyone, you found yourself fighting with him more and more each day.

Then there was Tommy. He and Roxie broke up, so that was one problem solved; but just like he always did after a breakup he was extra clingy with you now that she was gone. He wanted to hang out all the time, and that had caused some problems. For starters, while Roxie may be gone, you were still dealing with the weight of the her secret sex with Nikki, and knowing about it made being around Tommy awkward for you. You tried to suck it up and act like nothing was wrong, but it was obvious something was on your mind, and you wished Tommy would just give you some space so you had more time to process everything.

Then, there was the other issue that had come up between you. You had made it clear to Tommy you needed some time to yourself every once and awhile, and he seemed to agree, in theory. Then, in practice, would still bug you whenever he felt like it. Sometimes, he came to bother you in the middle of your phonecalls with Razzle. The few times this had happened, things had not gone well.

Tommy would insist you hang up and spend time with him. You would of course tell him no, saying you would hang out with him later. Usually, he would leave, pouting like a child. Later, he would spend the whole time complaining about Razzle; which annoyed you to no end–and you made sure to tell him so. That would only pissed him off more, and you two of you would both leave angry.

The last time he came in while you were on the phone, he’d been high, or drunk–or both–and when you refused to hang up he’d come over and done it for you. You’d gotten into a huge argument–something that had never happened before–and you made him leave, locking him out of your room.

Ever since your fight, Tommy had been walking on eggshells around you. He knew he’d fucked up, but he didn’t know how to fix it. You knew he couldn’t do anything; he’d apologized, but you were still upset. You just wanted to get away from all the drama–from Tommy, from Nikki–where you could relax and you didn’t have to worry if someone was going to yell at you for something or if you were going to get into another argument.

You weren’t essential to the band, it had occurred to you that maybe you could just go home for a week or two; take a little break? The guys wouldn’t love that idea, but no one could argue that things weren't strained right now. You could use some time apart. You hadn’t been away from them since they’d become a band–you’d all been living together the whole three years since they’d formed Motley Crue. It would be strange to be away from them after being together for so long, but then again some distance was starting to seem like exactly what you needed. And they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder; maybe taking some time apart would help heal the rifts forming in your most important relationships. Even if you didn’t love the idea of being alone, it would be worth it to get away for awhile.

As you drop your bags in yet another empty hotel room, you spot the phone on the nightstand, and an idea suddenly occurs to you. A crazy idea; maybe a great idea, or maybe a totally stupid one. Either way, the boys will absolutely hate it.

You pick up the phone, dialing the number and giving instructions to the receptionist on the other end as you sit on your bed.

“'ello beautiful.” Razzle greets you, and you smile.

“Hey Nic, how’s it going?” You ask, twirling the spiral cord around your finger.

“No' too bad; the boys and I jus' go' back.” He answer.

“Oh, that’s good.” You say, biting your lip, unsure of how to proceed.

“Is everythin' awlrigh'? You sound upset again.” He asks. “More trouble wif your brofa? Or is it Tommy this time?” You sigh, grateful he brought it up so you didn’t have to.

“Um, well I mean yeah, sort of, but, that’s actually not what I called about.” You say.

“Oh?” He asks. “Do tell.” You take a deep breath.

“I was wondering what you would think about me maybe coming to stay with you?” You ask, nervous. “Just for a little while.” You add hastily at the end.

“You wan' to come wif me? On tou'a?” He asks, clearly surprised.

“Yeah; I, I mean if you and the band don’t mind.” You reply.

“Of course I don’t fuckin' mind!” He says, clearly excited; and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “But wha' about the Crue? Won’ they be angry you’re off tourin’ wif another band?”

“I’ll handle the boys.” You assure him, smiling into the receiver.

—

“The fuck do you mean you’re leaving?” Nikki asks as he looks at you, your bags at your feet.

“Exactly what I said; you need it in writing?” You snap.

“Would you stop being a fucking bitch for five seconds and explain to me what the hell you think you’re playing at?” Nikki spits back. “You can’t just fucking leave!”

“Newsflash Nikki; you don’t fucking own me! I can do whatever the hell I want!” You shout, throwing your arms up.

“Okay, okay can everyone just chill out for a second please?” Vince asks.

“Stay the fuck out of this Vince.” Nikki sneers as he looks over at the blonde. “This isn’t any of your fucking business.”

“Don’t fucking yell at him!” You say, scowling at Nikki as he looks back at you.

“We’re gonna get kicked out of the lobby soon.” Mick comments absently.

“Y/N please don’t go.” Tommy begs. “We can talk about this.”

“I’ve made up my mind Tommy.” You say firmly, crossing your arms.

“Where you gonna go, huh?” Nikki asks. “Back home? You live in my house y/n! You can’t go home–I won’t allow it!”

“'Allow it?’” You repeat in a mix of anger and disbelief. “God you have been such a fucking asshole lately! What the hell is wrong with you?” You yell back at him, exasperated. “And for your information no, I’m not going home; I’m going to stay with Nic.”

“Nic?” Nikki looks at you confused. Then, realization spreads across his face. “Oh hoho! You’re going on tour with Razzle and the rest of those fuckers in Hanoi Rocks!”

“What?” Tommy scowls. “You’re going on tour with another band?”

“I’m going to stay with my boyfriend, who is currently in a band that is touring.” You try dodging the question with a half-truth.

Technically Razzle wasn’t your boyfriend yet–but that was only because the two of you didn’t have time to talk about it over the phone before you had to leave to catch your flight. You expected that’s where things were headed though, since you were going to be touring with him now, so it wasn’t a total lie.

“Boyfriend? Since fucking when?” Tommy shouts.

“That’s none of your fucking business.” You snap, taken aback by his sudden change in tone. He had been so desperate and kind a second ago.

“So what? You a fucking groupie now y/n? Huh? You just gonna hop from one band to another whenever it’s convenient for you?” Tommy asks, clearly pissed. You look back at him like you’ve been slapped in the face. You clench your jaw as tears start forming in your eyes.

“Fuck you Tommy.” You whisper, tears sliding down your cheeks.

“Y/N–” He calls out to you, but you ignore him; grabbing your bags and heading out the door.

—

You stand outside waiting for your taxi as the tears continue flowing down your face. It was all too much, and as much as you hated people seeing you cry, you just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Nikki was changing. It had been happening for awhile, but you had tried to ignore it; made excuses, played it off. Now there was no denying the truth: the brother you knew, who hurt himself to save you from your mother and her shitty boyfriends, who went hungry so you could eat, who took beatings to protect you–he was disappearing. This new Nikki was someone else, someone dark, and controlling. Someone who didn’t care about hurting the people he cared about–even you. You saw less and less of the Nikki you knew everyday, and you worried one day you’d look at your brother’s face and see a stranger staring back at you.

Then there was Tommy. That sweet, simple boy you meet three years ago. Your best friend. There was more to Tommy than that now–maybe there always had been, and you just never saw it. You didn’t understand how Tommy could be so sweet, then act so cruel. You didn’t understand why he got this way about Razzle; it’s like ever since you’d started seeing the other drummer, it had brought out the worst in Tommy.

As you stand under the awning waiting for your taxi, tears still staining your cheeks, you hear the doors to the lobby open behind you. You turn and see Vince and Mick walking toward you. You quickly wipe your face on the back of your arm and smile up at them.

“Hey, sorry you guys had to get stuck in the middle of that.” You say, doing your best to sound cheerful.

“Not the first time we’ve been in the center of a public shitshow; though usually there’s more nudity involved.” Mick says, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. You know he’s trying to cheer you up, and honestly it works. A small giggle escapes your lips.

“We can still fix that if you want to y/n.” Vince says, winking at you. “I’m always down for a little public nudity if you’re involved.”

“I’d like to not get arrested tonight; but thanks anyway Vince.” You say, smirking at him. He shurgs.

“Your loss.” He replies, looking away. After a moment, he looks back at you, a more sincere expression on his face. “By the way y/n, I wanted to say…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks down at the pavement awkwardly.

“What?” You press. It was unusual for Vince to be at a loss for words. He sighs, then looks back up at you.

“I just wanted to say you shouldn’t listen to Nikki and Tommy–they were being real assholes, and they were wrong.” Your eyes go wide as you stare back at him in shock. You knew Vince and Mick felt bad for you, but you hadn’t really expected them to openly take your side against their bandmates.

“Look, you’re not a bitch, and you’re definitely not a fucking groupie, okay? I mean if you were then I think I got fucking jipped.” He says with a laugh. You’re too surprised to laugh at the joke, not that it was that great to begin with.

“With jokes like that it’s amazing you ever resisted his charms.” Mick comments, and that manages to get a laugh from you. “He is right though; those two were total shitheads and I don’t blame you for wanting to split. You deserve to be happy, and if that frilly English shit makes you happy, then I say go for it.” You’re taken aback by the sincerity in Mick’s words. Vince comes over and puts a hand in your shoulder.

“Look, try not to worry about what Nikki and Tommy said, okay? They’re just pissed because they’re used to having you all to themselves, and they don’t like the idea of having to share you. So go have fun with your English boy toy, and just know we’ll be here if you ever get homesick.” You look back at the two of them, and you feel your heart swell so full it aches.

Nikki and Tommy had been the people you were closest to since the band formed; Nikki was your brother, your rock, your oldest friend. Tommy had quickly grown to be your best friend, your closet companion, the person you trusted most. But you couldn’t forget how much you loved Vince and Mick; they were your brothers just as much as Nikki and Tommy were. You had been through so much with both of them, and just because you were having problems with Tommy and Nikki, you didn’t want to punish Mick and Vince for that.

You feel tears well up in your eyes as you grab hold of Vince, hugging him tightly as you bury your face in the crock of his neck.

“Thanks Vinny.” You say as you squeeze him tighter. “I appreciate it.” You let him go, and his cheeks are flushed as he looks away.

“Yeah, whatever.” He says, and you laugh, whipping your eyes. You move over to Mick and wrap your arms around him.

“Give us a call every once and awhile so we know you’re not dead.” He says, and you laugh as you pull away.

“Yes dad.” You reply sarcastically, and he scowls. You smile, moving to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. His eyes go wide as he stares back at you in surprise. “I promise I’ll call as soon as I get there, okay?” He looks away.

“S'all I’m asking.” He mumbles.

“Hey, why does the old man get a kiss?” Vince whines, and you laugh.

Just then, the taxi pulls up to take you to the airport.

“Well, looks like my ride’s here.” You say, trying to mask your sadness by turning away from them. You move to get your bags, but Vince grabs them before you can. He winks at you, and silently moves to toss them in back of the taxi.

“It’s not forever; I’ll see you guys again in no time.” You say cheerful as you look at Mick, who just nods in response, looking lonely. You take one quick glance back at the lobby doors, before turning to the taxi.

“Thanks for grabbing my bags Vince; maybe there’s a gentleman buried in there somewhere after all.” You say, smirking.

“Don’t hold your breath sweetheart.” Vince jokes, smiling; though you both feel the sadness behind it. As you pass him, you lean in and give him a quick peak on the cheek. You smile as Vince laughs.

“There, now you’re even.” You say, before getting into the taxi. You shut the door, waving out the back window as you watch the two of them get further and further away.

[harryskalechips]

This sucks Part 2

A/N Here is the new part two for this sucks. Thank you for all the feedback and for calling me out for the shitty ending of the last version. I rewrote this part with a mixture of the old one. I’m not sorry about the last version but I did want to rewrite this and give this one-shot some justice. I thought this would be more appropriate for our plot. Lastly, I want to say thank you for your support. Without you, I would not have a place to share my work. Anyways, if you read the last version and is content with that, You don’t need to read this but for my lovely angsty cravers. I serve you a full plate of depression. Enjoy xxx  

Word count 3456

Part 1

“Get the fuck out, Mitch.” Harry slurs to his guitarist as he tries his best not to fall back onto his hotel bed. He kept tripping and stumbling onto the mattress and that’s exactly why he doesn’t want it to happen again.

“Dude, you have a show tomorrow. You’ve been getting drunk every night and I don’t think it’s good for your career.” Mitch leans on the side of the wall with his arms crossed. His sarcastic reply just showed how tired he was about Harry acting out. He missed the last tour when everything was good... despite his breakup with Camille in the near end. At least, Harry wasn’t trying to drown himself in alcohol that time. 

“You don’t know what’s best for me!” Harry grips onto the desk in front of him and reaches over his bag to grab the beaten journal. “Now leave me alone, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ve never seen you this fucked up before, Harry. You know we’re all here for you.” Mitch shares his disappointment as he watches Harry throw himself on the couch and dive into his journal. When Love on Tour first started, he was very quiet but as the shows progressed, Harry’s frustration began to seep through. Everyone could tell he was angry at himself. Obviously, heartbroken. 

As Mitch stood in the corner of Harry’s room observing him, Harry tried his best to write something on the paper. He needed it to seem like he was focused. After a couple minutes, his friend leaves the room making Harry rub his face in relief as he throws his journal on the floor. 

Fuck this. fuck this. He repeats in his head as he raises his hips in the air, trying to grab his phone from his back pocket. His eyes are lazily open as he taps on the screen searching for the green phone app. He looks for his favourites and out of fake shock, he stares at the only name on it. Y/N. 

Giving a call once a day showed Y/N, he wants her back but calling her multiple times a day? Y/N had to know he was desperate. 

The number you have reached is not in service or is temporarily disconnected. 

The automated voice he hears every time repeats. It almost felt like she was laughing at him for being so pathetic. Out of anger, he tosses his phone on the floor and lays on his stomach. It felt weird being so angry and sad at the same time about a relationship that only lasted for four months but Harry knew it was the best relationship he has ever had. So maybe everyone can fuck off a bit because he just lost his girlfriend without actually being able to fight for her. 

~

“Harry, you haven’t been answering your sister or your mum. They’ve been calling me to check up on you. Would you like me to schedule a time for you to call them.” Harry’s secretary Andy, asks him as they approach his private jet. They’re on their way back to America since he had just finished the European leg.

“No, but next time they call, tell them I said to fuck off.” Andy nervously swallows the lump in her throat and nods.  

It’s been months! Months after Harry and Y/N’s break up but Harry can’t help but still feel anger at his family for being so close-minded. For hurting her.

“Harry, Camile has also been calling. She’s wondering what show would you like to see her at so we can send her y’know… the tickets.” Harry just scoffs at hearing his ex’s name. Of course, he started talking to her again early this year but after realizing he was in the wrong, he wanted nothing to do with her. 

“Ignore her. I can’t talk to her.”

“Alright.” Andy types on her phone writing down something on her notes. Harry just takes a big sigh and looks out the window. Tour could’ve been fun this year. He could’ve brought Y/N to France, to Italy, to Brazil! But I mean, he couldn’t even be with her in London after she left his stupid ass. Gosh, he hates it here. 

~

“When I wrote this song, I was in a dark place after a relationship of mine ended.” Harry darkly looks around the arena as he fixes the wire of his mic behind him. “I’m a very private guy but let me share one more thing with you all. I fucked up. This song is not even what I’m talking about but it does make me a bit sadder because I did become that guy I didn’t want to be.” His eyes couldn’t help but tear up as he watches his fans look at him in sadness. Fuck, he’s been drinking all the time and all he feels is guilt because these past shows, he was pretending to be happy. Yet he knew he wasn’t even close to that feeling and so did everyone around him.

As the familiar keys began to play, Harry couldn’t help but not look at any of his fans. He had to close his eyes and feel his pain.

I’m falling again, I’m falling again. I’m falling.

~

The number you have reached is not in service or is temporarily disconnected. 

~

The number you have reached is not in service or is temporarily disconnected. 

~

The number you have reached is not in service or is temporarily disconnected. 

Harry rolls his eyes and tosses his phone on the couch. Tonight is his last show in North America. After this, he’s going to be heading south although, it already feels like he’s been heading in that direction for a long time.

“Come in,” Harry yells out coldly as he looks at himself dressed and ready to go to perform tonight.

“It’s just me, Jeff.” His manger lets himself in as he looks at the boy. “The Forum. Remember performing here the first time you released the album.” Harry just nods as he plays with the loose thread of his journal.

“She’s here tonight.” Harry chokes on his breath as his heart beats faster.

“Y/N?” He looks up immediately as he watches Jeff very carefully. “She’s here tonight?” He asks again for confirmation. Maybe, he heard him wrong?

“While we were in London and you were ignoring your family, I decided to give her a call.” Harry just scoffs as he glances at the TV of his fans singing to one of his old songs. 

“You called her? She probably thinks I’m pathetic.”

“You are pathetic! Do you think I don’t know you call her all the time?”

“Her phone number isn’t even in service.”

“Exactly. Pathetic.”

“Where is she sitting tonight?” Harry decides to change the subject as he glances at his phone on the couch. 

“Premium... more on the left side. Look, dude, I gave her an extra ticket to bring a friend but as I was checking in with Mark on visuals, I noticed her with a guy.”

“She brought a guy?” Harry couldn’t help but fist his hands. I mean he’s already had about 60 shows and it’s been 5 months but why did it surprise him, she’s here with another man? Funny to think she claimed she was falling in love with him. Maybe that guy was just a friend but he knew otherwise.

“I’m sorry H. I thought seeing her tonight would fix your relationship but it doesn’t seem like it.”

“I don’t care.” Harry loses his tie. “Maybe, it was a good idea I started talking to Camile again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Oh but I do.” ~

The show was on full swing now as Harry’s fans were screaming and cheering for him. His hands leave his mouth as he blows kisses to everyone in the room. As he searched the crowd throughout every song, he noticed how some faces were familiar to him. They must’ve been here last night too. After watermelon sugar, Harry turns his back from the crowd to take a drink as Mitch plays his solo for the tour. 

He didn’t want his fans to see his frustration but he was losing his mind. 

“Where are you going?” Sarah loudly whispers as she watches Harry walk off the stage.

“I’ll be back” He cuts her off and takes his water bottle with him as he quickly walks off the stage, waving to his fans.

“Harry, what’s up?” Jeff exclaims as he rushes to his side. “Do you need anything?”

“Where is she? I can’t find her.”

“Do you expect yourself to catch eyes with her tonight? You know full well that’s not even possible.” Harry rolls his eyes as he watches some of the workers moving around.

“Get someone to lead her backstage after the show.” He instructs Jeff coldly. He needed to make sure that Jeff followed through with this.

“Mr. Styles, we’re going to need you back on stage.” An unknown girl with a headset interrupts their conversation. Harry just nods as he turns away from Jeff.

“I need to talk to her... please.”

*** 

“You alright babe?” Robbie wraps his arm around Y/N as she smiles back without a response. It was weird being in the presence of another man during Harry’s concert. She always expected to be by herself watching him. To be with him before and after the show but tonight... she’s just another fan. 

Y/N met Robbie on her flight back to LA after a dreadful trip to London. It was depressing. Walking in the streets alone. Taking awkward selfies at the big ben. What she hated the most was the sad frown she kept on her face or how her heart grew with anxiety when she asked a stranger to take a picture of her at the tower bridge.

“Sorry everyone, I had to take a wee.” Harry runs back on stage as he gives off a smile to everyone. For some reason, Y/N  had a feeling he was lying. Usually, he would run back on stage but it seems like he wasn’t even in a hurry. The wrinkles on his forehead as he stared at the floor made her think there may be more on his mind than what he’s showing.

“So usually in this part of the setlist, I would be singing Cherry but tonight, I wanted it to be a bit more special. I’ll be singing Don’t Let Me Go. A song I wrote back late 2012’s. Luckily, Mitch and Charlotte already know how to play it.” (A/N This makes me sad ugh)

Don't let me

Don't let me

Don't let me go

Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

“Can’t believe you know this guy, babe! He’s amazing!” Robbie crosses his arms as he takes a sip of his beer.  Y/N holds onto the rail, trying to not breakdown. “Hey, Are you crying?” Her boyfriend reaches out to her as she watches Harry looking at them. She doesn’t think he can see them but the way he kept glancing at the area she was in, he knows she’s here. 

“Yeah, it’s just a really sad song.”

“Ms. L/N?” A woman with a headset approaches the couple. 

“Yes.” 

“Hi, I’m Amanda, Mr. Styles would like you backstage after the show.” Robbie flashes a big smile as he looks around them hoping no one is noticing their interactions with the lady. 

“We’ll be there.” Robbie cuts in as he wraps his arm around his girlfriend. Y/N tenses up as she awkwardly smiles back at him.

“Actually, his instructions were very clear and he only wants Ms. L/N.” Her eyes widened as Robbie pulls away from her. 

“Thank you.” She smiles and glances back at Harry.

“I’ll have someone get you during our last song.” and with that, Amanda walks away while Robbie coldly glares at Harry who’s taking a sip of water as the song comes to an end.

“Is there something going on between you guys?”

“No.”

“Why does he only want to see you? You never even told me how you two met!”

“Okay, Robbie. Calm down. I’ll explain later. He and I are just friends.”

~

Y/N follows the boy down the hallway as she hears Harry’s fans chant out his name. It’s been months since she had seen him and if she was being honest, Y/N never thought she would again. But Jeff sounded so sad and concerned about him that she wanted to see him. Despite breaking all her ties with him, She still thinks about him every day.

Y/N looks at the TV screen and notices the lights were now on and Harry and the rest of his band were off the stage. Robbie is probably sulking as he walks to his car right now. She thinks to herself.

The door harshly opens as Harry comes in all sweaty. “Hey.” Y/N waves at him as she quietly sits on his couch. He takes his jacket off and hugs her without another word. “You’re so sweaty.” She couldn’t help but laugh as she feels his familiar embrace. Maybe, laughing would ease off the awkward tension. 

“I missed you Y/N.”

“I missed you too H.”

“I never thought I would see you again.” He sits on the couch beside her and runs his hand through his hair.

“I’ve always been excited to see one of your shows live.” She couldn’t help but brush her hair out of her face. Here is the man she was falling in love with. The man she chose to forget. 

“How did Jeff get in contact with you? I tried calling your number a few times and it wasn’t in service.” Harry bit his lip at his question. He knew full well he called her number at least three times a day.

“I keep in touch with Glenne.” She watches Harry scoff. “What?”

“You can keep in touch with her but you can barely talk to me?”

“Our trip to London was a sign that we shouldn’t be together, Harry.” Y/N couldn’t help but get flashbacks from her traumatic trip. She was so excited to meet his family, only to find out they already hated her before she stepped foot inside their house.

“That trip was not how it was supposed to go. I had plans to make you so happy.”

“That’s funny since the only plan that came through was me finding out you started talking to Camile again.”

“Did you mean what you said to my mum?” He ignores her last comment as he watches her carefully. She shrugs her shoulders in confusion then it suddenly hits her… he’s talking about London. “I heard it all.”

“Oh.” She looks away from Harry and stares at the pattern of the rug in his change room. “Yeah, I meant every single word.” Y/N plays with her cuticles trying to keep herself from remembering that sad trip. 

“I’m sorry about what happened. Camille was a big part of my life and I wanted to start seeing her again. Not like romantically but the way I still talk with Kendall.”

“It’s okay. I think it needed to happen.” Harry’s eyes flash in confusion. Last time, he spoke to her, they were so sure that this relationship would work out. Now, she’s managed to change her whole idea about them and that hurt a lot. Especially since she’s all he thinks about.

“Why would you say that?” He stands up in anger.

“Harry. Your mom and sister hated me! You clearly have or had feelings for Camille and you were going on tour We wouldn’t have worked out!”

“Are you blaming me?” He crosses his arms. He was offended. 

“No.” Y/N rubs her face in frustration. “It was nice what we had, Harry. Believe me but now we can’t be together.”

“What? Why? Because you have that stupid prick as your boyfriend?”

“Yes.” Y/N stands up as well, preparing herself to leave. He grabs his journal from his vanity and opens it. He flips the pages as Y/N watches him in confusion. 

He rips random pages out and crumples them. He takes her hands and forces her to take them. “I’ve been in love with you! Goddammit, just take me back!”

“Harry…”

“Look, I have more! I’ve been writing about you every day. I’ve been writing songs about you.” He looks at his journal one more time before closing it and throwing it on the floor. “I wrote this whole damn book about you!” 

Y/N begins to cry as she watches the strong man she has always known break down in front of her. “I can’t… Harry. Please.” He goes on his knees and takes her hands full of crumpled paper. 

“You never even gave us a chance baby. Fuck, I should’ve stopped you the moment you walked out that door. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Y/N couldn’t bare herself to look at him as she feels his hands on her.

“You should have gone with me to the store that day. I should’ve shown you around my town! Now I can barely talk to my family because they remind me of who I lost. What I lost!”

“Harry. I don’t want this anymore. I’ve always been scared of our relationship. I can’t handle this.” It’s true. She watched romantic movies her whole life and the more she admired those types of relationships, the more she didn’t want one herself. Y/N knows her life isn’t a movie but if Rachel McAdams cried her heart out during The Notebook while in character, she can’t imagine what else Harry can throw at her so she can experience that type of heartbreak. She needed a clean break from him. Robbie was her safe choice. 

“I love you, please.” He shakes his head in frustration. “I dream about you. I think of you. I need you!”

“I can’t!” She shakes her head as she tries to help him up. She takes the crumpled paper and runs to his vanity as he stands behind her, confused. She eagerly tries to flatten them out. She bends down to grab his journal and tries to place each page back in the book. 

“What are you doing?” He approaches her. “Those are for you!”

“No Harry! These are for you. I need you to keep these. I need you to remember us.”

“I need you to remember us.” He whispers and grabs her wrist to stop working. “You forgot about me.”

“I had to. I needed to.” She looks at the mirror and watches his eyes in the mirror.

“I thought we were stronger than this.”

“It’s been five months. You should move on too, H.” She pulls away from Harry and continues to fix his journal. She remembers the nights he would write in the leather book. How calm he looked. How happy he was. 

“Just admit it then! You took the first problem that occurred and used that to leave me!”

“Fine! I did! I admit it!”

“You’re just as bad as me then!”

“You were in love with Camille!!”

“Then why do I feel like dying every day ever since you left me!”

The silence makes Y/N’s heart beat faster as Harry finally lets out his last thoughts. He takes hold of her hips and pulls her in close to him. He glances once at her lips then stare at her eyes. 

Y/N didn’t know what to do. Her mind was screaming at her to pull away from him and leave but her heart wanted something more. Ironic enough, that familiar thump in her heart has always been present. The guilt she felt when she first started dating Robbie. The ache she felt when she watched Harry’s interviews late at night. Now, it was asking for something different. Something more. She holds onto the back of his neck as she kisses him. Harry pushes her back onto his vanity, helping her sit on it. 

Lips so familiar. Taste so heavenly. A scent so intoxicating. He needed more. She missed him. 

“I’m sorry fuck I’m sorry.” Y/N pulls away and pushes his chest a bit lightly. 

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore. I’ll let you go.” He lets out. He was hoping that it wasn’t true. This would be the only way to trap her into admitting that she wants to be with him again. He’s selfish. It’s true.

“You know that wouldn’t be true.” Harry’s heart skips a beat.

“So, stay with me. I need you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“I love you but I can’t.” She moves off a bit and hops off his vanity. She takes a deep breath and looks at him. “I think you’ll find someone for you.”

“Do you love Robbie?” He ignores her last statement. Truth be told, Y/N doesn’t. She began dating him two months ago and all she thinks about is Harry. 

“Yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m lying! Harry, please don’t let me go through this again.”

“I’m sorry. I just hate seeing you walk away from me.” She gives him a soft smile as she takes her phone from her pocket.

“I have to go. Robbie just texted me. He’s angry.”

“Will I ever see you again.”

“Probably not.” 

“So what? You’re going to keep avoiding me from now on?”

“I think I might have to. Take care H. Take care of yourself, please.”And with that, Harry watches Y/N walk out of his life for the final time. 

He takes his journal and walks to the couch. He lazily slouches as he takes a random paper out. It’s about her, of course, it is. He places the sheet on the top of his heart and closes his eyes. “This sucks.” 

Maybe, this was the closure Harry needed but for some reason, his heart was hurting more.

part trois

[amythecinnabunny]

Space AU and Time Travel for Juke 👀 <33

Holy shit holy shit holy shit ok ok ok ok first of all AKDBJSJSJJEJE YES

Okay okay so let me try to iron out the mess in my head skxbjsjjd I hereby apologize if things get out of order or whatever but I am literally vibrating with excitement someone please write this I'll love you forever

Ok so I'm thinking also an aged up au for ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* reasons *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ sjsnnsn

Also, I've done this before and I'm gonna do it again, but Bobby and Trevor are two different people for the sake of the timeline here.

Time frame for this would be WAY into the future. Humanity has gone galactic. We also had our asses handed to us by several alien planets but we probably deserved it. Anyway, after we got rid of Elon Musk, we eventually made peace with the aliens and now roam the galaxy freely. 20-30yo generally try to get into a different fleet, just to learn about other races. Think all those alien ships adopts a human posts.

Julie, Carrie and Flynn are my three girl geniuses. They're like,,, the smartest people in every room. They've been like this since freshman year of college. Julie, Carrie and Flynn also all want to get into the student exchange program, which is exactly what you think it is. Alien races (and this now includes humanity) swaps out older students with each other so they get a feel of what the other race is like. It's fun, educational, and! You get to make super long distance pen pals!

I'd also have so much fun making up new memes???? It would be so fucking stupid tho but I love it.

Anyway, so after a few years of jumping through the exchange programme, hoping from planet to planet, unfortunately, without their bestfriends :<, the three of them qualify to board research ships!!!

So at like 23-25, my girls come back together on the same ship!! Its a massive thing and so they've hired so many interns from so many different races. It's like a landing hub for several smaller ships. They have like 10 interns per species and that's only because there are laws against having too many of one kind after they put 50 humans on a space station and the humans tried to take over. Also, humans multiply faster than the others. This terrifies some races.

Anyway, the ship's really just a bunch of college kids from different planets trying to avoid exam season by submitting research papers from their ship. They all bond over deadlines, breakups and coffee (or the alien equivalent thereof)

Flynn dated an alien girl for a while. They were cute. Flynn: as a lesbian, it's my duty to date all the women in space

This is also where they run into Willie!!! Yay, Willie!!!

Nick Danforth-Evans and Kayla Evans-McKessie are around ... somewhere ... in bunk beds like the little toddlers they wish they were, crying about the 15 page essay on why Xjsbsjdjd is a very intelligent race that we could learn a lot from (yes, that is a keysmash I'm too buzzed to be creating alien species names sjdjjdjd)

Carrie and Nick do date for a while but then Carrie hooked up with Kayla. Bisexual queen who?

Julie met Willie that time she didn't sleep for over 48 hours because she had a research paper due within a week and she hadn't started yet and it was 10 000 words on her experiences with the Psjxjjdkeiwj race. Luckily for her, the kid she bumped into and spilled an energy drink all over had the same paper and helped her finish it. Willie sometimes goes by the nickname Lifesaver, thanks to Julie. This confuses the metaphor-less people because Willie's never saved anyone's life?? So why is he a lifesaver??

ANYWAY ON TO THE TIME TRAVEL BIT

On their own, Julie, Carrie and Flynn are professional smart people who know what they're saying and are clever enough not to do things with too many risks. In the same room, however, they turn into dumb geniuses who can and possibly may blow up the entire ship. It's a good thing they have Willie, Nick and Kayla to babysit them, right? WRONG. Willie Kayla and Nick egg them on.

They decide there going to gather all the information there is on time travel and they're going to decipher it and make it work! Yay!

When they find stuff in alien languages they start calling up their alien pen pals "hello what's this word mean in this context? What, haha oh no, it's a research paper on why time travel projects were abandoned before completion. Okay, thank you!"

Before long, they have a working time machine. I mean,, they hope so. And so they enter a random date from the past and prepare to pop their heads through just to see what the world looked like approximately 200ish years ago

2020s, post covid because that exists for joke reasons later, Sunset Curve is performing live for one of their biggest audiences yet when mid-song, the floor just opens them up and swallows them whole before vanishing. The crowd things it's a stunt but Sunset Curve's managers are flipping their shit

Back on the ship, the machine starts sparking and with a soft boom and a hiss, the power in that quadrant goes out -- not before Willie's is pelted in the face with a pair of drumsticks and then a whole person.

It's a miracle the drums survived the trip, pet alone everything else.

So now these sleep deprived geniuses and co. have to hide three people and several musical artifacts, plus the smoking remains of a time machine, from their Supervising Officer, who is regrettably, a human too.

And none of them are very good at lying.

Luke and Bobby are though, and after piecing together bits and pieces from the frenzied rambling around them, Luke and Bobby save the group.

Shenanigans ensue as they try to rebuild the time machine under the watchful eye of the SO, while trying to mantainbfake credentials for the boys and trying to explain their very dated clothing. (Yes, Sunset Curve STILL rocks the 90s vibe. In the 2020s. It's their thing.)

Willex happens in the background -- and I mean that very literally. (Jukebox having a tension moment, Willex making out in the background.)

Honestly I'm not sure yet how theyd solve the problems, whether they'd send the boys back or not or what, but I do know that they will all cause a BUNCH of problems in between.

Sometimes they play music just because they still can. Sunset Curve becomes a house band for the ship. They get broadcasted to neighbouring or passing ships like "hey, losers, we have live music, SUCK IT!"

Focusing on the jukebox aspect of this whole fic, that's gonna be a fucking hilarious slow burn.

It will definitely contain the lines "Oh my god, I have a crush on Julie." "Congratulations, you're officially the last to know." "What? Even [SO's Name] knows??" "Dude. The ship's navigation crew knows." "Does ... Julie know?" "No, you're both morons."

Julie is having the exact same conversation four hallways away.

They'd talk a lot about sending the boys back home and it'd be really quiet conversations when everyone else is asleep.

Julie and Luke write music together and after a while, Julie performs a few of them too. Thanks to the concerts, they meet the other human interns that were on the other end of the ship and Carrie and Kayla form Dirty Candy.

The ship becomes known as the party bus.

A thing that will happen: Luke helps Julie write one of her history papers that she gets an A+ for and a comment about how dedicated she was to have delved so far back in the history records to get authentic insight.

Julie and Luke speak in memes but they don't speak the same memes and it drives them both up the wall.

Luke says yeet one day and Julie's soul leaves her body because she hasn't heard anyone say yeet since she was a toddler back on Earth.

Julie: odd display, but acceptable.

Luke, physically experiencing a record scratch: what the fuck did you just say

That is all I have to offer because I'm afraid of plotting further and causing angst somehow.

oh one more thing, someone gets to bang an alien and it's probably Flynn.

Oh oh oh another one more thing. Reggie says "this is just like in Star Wars" for literally anything. The band goes along with it for shits and giggles. The rest of them are very interested in this ancient tale called Star Wars. Reggie sees a picture of Flynn and her green gf and says "hey, you dated photoshopped Yoda" and Bobby just loses his shit.

[greenninjagal-blog]

The Rumor Mill Game (pt2)

You guys asked, and I have no self control at all. Have some more Intrulogical, now with Plot(tm). If you missed part one you can find it [here!]

Summary: If he thought himself a king of the office, then Logan was honored to be the guillotine. [aka When his coworker, Remus, decides to play a game, Logan is going to make sure he regrets it. Even if its the last thing he does.]

Words: 3506

Quick taglist: @chelsvans @faithfulcat111 @felicianoromano @holliberries @jemthebookworm @killerfangirl3 @silverflame-wc @stricken-with-clairvoyancy @thenaiads @treasureofpriam @midnightmagi @shadowjag @residentanchor

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

When Logan had first put on the ring, he hadn’t expected it to end like this.

But that was mostly his own folly: Logan should have realized that based on his (lack of) knowledge concerning the behaviors of Remus Prince, his imagined plan of action would be....upended. After all, he had barely known the man beyond the occasional sight of  him in the break room where he teetered on the edge of the counter sitting much like a king as his subjects bowed before him.

Logan was of the sound impression that absolutely everyone who had been hired for his company was of the particularly stupid brand. Often times he had imagined his boss had sat down in the interviews and hired the first person who walked in and smiled, because clearly Beatrice from Accounting did not know what she was doing and her inability to use Excel spreadsheets had led him to far too many late nights correcting her work.

It was one such night that had lead to this...this ludicrous situation: Logan had been in his office all day practically tearing his hair out over his coworkers inability to count (what did you do with the decimal point, Kyle? Where did this five come from? Why are you all so inept?) and his coffee had gone cold, and he should have been leaving an hour ago, but these pages had been due two weeks ago and Logan hated leaving things unfinished.

He had a headache brewing from staring at his screen for so long. He peeled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes until they watered before glancing at the clock in the bottom of his screen. After a quick and efficiently ruthless curse towards Janet for being so late to turn in any of her sheets, he scooted back in his chair and had left to refill in coffee mug.

The office floor had been deserted for the most part. Logan should have been grateful, because that meant less possible nonsense to distract him from his work.

But unfortunately, he was quite familiar with Jen’s hair in a loose-but-still-formal bun and Quin’s scarf that they wore like a talisman to ward off bad omens. They clutched it the second they noticed Logan approaching the two of them, as if he had been coming to deliver an upsetting diagnosis and not to use the coffee machine they were standing in front of.

And because Logan was absolutely not in the mood to talk to either of them, Jen had caught sight of him and puffed her cheeks in anger, like some sort of puffer fish. She tuned to face him fully with her arms on her hips and gave him some equivalent to a “death glare”, as Logan assumed people would call it.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

“I work here,” Logan said, perhaps a little snappish, “Now, might I get to the coffee machine?”

She had huffed, tapped her foot thrice, and then shuffled to the side just enough that Logan could get to the coffee machine.

Thankfully, just enough was still technically enough. He placed his mug beside the coffee maker and checked the cartridge for leftover used grinds because-- once again-- all of his coworkers were extremely disappointing when it came to using their brains.

Jen huffed again and she was close enough that absolutely all of Logan’s internal alarms started ringing. He snapped the cartridge --thankfully clean, Logan ideally wondered if maybe it was possible they were learning. Oh wouldn’t that be a miracle?-- closed and debated giving up on the coffee all together. But he could still see grid patterns when he closed his eyes, so he dug out his preferred coffee brand and set up the maker.

Quin opened their mouth and closed it again several times. It was clear from the way they shifted on their feet and and looked anywhere but at Jen or him that they were uncomfortable. Logan found himself praying to gods that he didn’t believe in that they would hold off until he had his coffee and was safely back in his office.

“I see Remus cleaned your mug.” Quin mumbled softly because the gods that Logan didn’t believe in don’t exist and he was on this planet purely to suffer.

But they had made a semi-valid point. Remus had cleaned his cup just as Logan had requested--just as was basic human politeness when using something of someone else’s possession, regardless of the fact that Remus Prince had not asked permission to use it in the first place. Logan felt his nose twitch in irritation at the memory of the other day.

“Yes,” Logan said between his gritted teeth. Had the coffee machine always been this slow? Or perhaps it was showing its age by taking longer to make his miserable coffee. He was sure that he could move some funds around to get them a new machine by Thursday if he could just make it back to his office--

“That’s all you have to say?” Jen sniped, “Just “Yes”? Unbelievable!”

“If you have an issue,” Logan said to her, “Please keep it to yourself.”

She slammed a hand on the counter, “I cannot believe you! Perfect Logan Ackroyd! You’re just like all the rest of them!”

“Curious how this sounds very much like you are not keeping your issue to yourself,” Logan commented.

“Jen--” Quin said, but she acted much like puddle of gasoline after a match dropped on it.

She got red in the face and her neat eyebrows smashed together as she stared down him with a snarl that most certainly did not belong in the workplace. She stamped her foot like some sort of child-- honestly? Logan shouldn’t have been surprised seeing how he had been able to hear the meltdown that happened after her messy breakup with Kyle. It had been so loud that Remus had even had the gall to look moderately shocked when everything had gone down.

“Where do you guys get off on taking advantage of your significant other’s trust in you?” Jen growled, “Is it fun for you? Do you not care about our feelings? Maybe we weren’t so far off when we said you were a robot, Mr. Ackroyd! You’re cold and cruel and I hope that when your affair comes to light--”

“Jennifer,” Logan hissed, “choose your next words extremely carefully, because I have spent eleven hours going over spreadsheets that have been done wrong and am not in the mood to listen to you prattle about lost love. In case you have forgotten, I very much have control over your sector and it will only take three emails to have you demoted and-or removed from this company.”

Jen’s mouth snapped shut.

Logan thought that was the first merciful thing that had happened all day. He picked up his coffee, holding it tightly in his hand despite the heat radiating off it and headed out of the breakroom.

He stopped at the door, as the dregs of the conversation spun through his brain. “Did you imply that I was having an affair?”

Quin was wringing their hands and Jen was clawing her nails into the counter. Still, they nodded.

“Who told you that?”

And really, Logan should have expected the answer. Of course it was Remus Prince, the advertising privateer who had turned the entire company into some sort of drama circus with his half truths and his lack of a mouth filter.

The Robot Extravaganza had stolen the peace and quiet of Logan’s work atmosphere and driven him up the figurative walls. That week alone had eight times more people rapping on his door frame than he had had in the entire year previously. And of course that ridiculous white board they had put up in the far wall as if Logan was incapable of reading and comprehending words. It was unprofessional and childish and Logan had barely gotten any work done when he had been constantly interrupted with mundane questions of “Logan do you need to eat?”, “Logan how do you shower without rusting?”, “Logan do you have batteries or do you plug yourself in at night?”, “Logan!”, “Logan!”, “Logan!”.

Not to mention the way that Remus had laughed the entire time as if he found the idea of Logan being harassed particularly amusing. And Logan hated that laugh. It was terrible and awful and grating, and it made Logan want to tear out his hair because it sounded so much like---

“Is that so,” Logan said absently to Jen and Quin. “Remus Prince told you I was having an affair.”

He shifted to hold his mug with both hands, his eyes slipping over to that counter where Remus had been sitting before, with that same mug between his legs daring suggestive thoughts. How many times had Logan seen him sitting there looking like he could control the whole world with a few crass comments?

It was a game to him, wasn’t it? A game that Remus loved to play because he always won.

And who better to fix that than Logan who had been craving for revenge like it was a figurative itch under his very skin?

“Ah, well then,” Logan said and then because he was very much not the type to let people misinterpret him, he added, “I hadn’t realized my husband’s antics would upset you so much, Jen. I apologize on his behalf.”

That got their attentions real quick. Quin’s neck cracked with the force of which they turned their head to look him in the eye. Jen blinked several times as if she was having trouble processing things.

“Husband?” Jen repeats, as if she hadn’t heard the term before.

Logan straightened his back, “I’ll repeat myself slower since this seems to be overwhelming for your small brain. Remus Prince and I are married.”

“You’re a real asshole!” She covered her mouth and then fluttered her hands in a bootless waste of motions. “You’re serious? Wait of course you are! How could I forget, necktie! Oh my god, you’re serious. You and Remus?”

Logan took a sip of his coffee. “I have spreadsheets to amend.”

“Wait wait wait! I want details! Logan get back, here!” Jen screeched after him.

Logan wondered vaguely if this was the reason why Remus spread these rumors so often: the short zappy thrill that had ignited his neurons was much more effective than his coffee could ever hope to be. And Jen had believed him without a hesitance-- which truly was revealing of her hot headed nature. It was, dare he say, exciting. He hadn’t felt this way since his college lab days when he had tackled the creation of experiments with unbridled vigour.

Just how much was she willing to accept just because Logan had been the one to tell her? Just how wild of an accusation could Logan offer up before she wisened up? How quickly would this get back to Remus?

Logan itched to set up an experiment to test it all out. After all he would only get one chance to do this: most certainly when Remus gathered wind of how Logan had turned his false information back on him, Remus would come clean and admit that they had never even seen each other.

It would ruin both of their reputations. Remus as someone who spread truths, and Logan as someone who could be believed in every instance.

But Remus would still choose it over allowing anyone in the work area to think they were married. Logan knew this easily, obviously, irrefutably. They were strangers, not even acquaintances.

“Janet! Janet!” Jen screeched surprisingly loud for someone of her stature. “Janet did you know that Remus and Logan are married?” 

Logan hadn’t realized Janet was still there at all, but at the accusation she flung backwards from her cubical in her rolling office chair and nearly crashed into Logan on just feet from his private office door.

“Run that by me again!” She demanded, “Remus and Logan?”

Logan opened his door and let himself in but before he could close it, Janet wedged her foot in the way.

“No way! Remus doesn’t wear a ring!”

“Allergic to metals,” Logan listed off the top of his head.

“You don’t wear a ring, either!” Janet said grabbing at his hand and nearly causing him to spill his coffee.

And well….

Quin, Jen, and Janet were all standing at his door, ready to believe whatever he said. He could have just said he was also allergic to metals too, but there was dubious gleam in Janet’s eyes, because yes, this is the sole thing she seemed to be knowledgeable about.

If Janet didn’t believe him now, then Jen would get even more upset at him than before and that would ruin the surprise for Remus tomorrow. A half baked revenge wouldn’t be nearly as good as the one he was expecting.

So he needed a ring.

His eyes slipped over his shoulder to the dinner jacket slumped on the chair in the corner of the room, crumpled and abandoned and gathering dust with the filing cabinet and the box of records that Logan had arranged his first week on the job. 

He needed a ring.

And really it was just for one night.

He could pretend.

So Logan swallowed the sudden unexpected lump in his throat and tracked the three steps to the chair to dig the silver band from the pocket. He tried to remember how long it had been there, how long he had tried shoving it from his mind, and pretending like it and the jacket and that night had never existed. 

It had been a reminder for so long now: like a flashing sign in the night had warned him that a relationship would never be worth that again, that romantic pursuits were frivolous and fleeting and meaningless.

Regardless, it felt like putting on one of his favorite ties, like slipping into his shoes that were broken in perfectly, like it was made for him.

(It hadn’t been and wasn’t that the most ridiculous part of the story?)

It was only for one night, so he let Jen and Janet and Quin ogle over it and answered their questions efficiently. He tore into Remus’s reputation as subtly as he could, making Quin flee the room and Janet fan her face and Jen cackle. He made up a story about a summer wedding, about a honeymoon he thought was just ridiculous, about late night activities he could never imagine doing with anyone.

And when they left, Logan had stared at the band engraved so delicately for another ten minutes. 

“A robot,” Logan said to himself.

Is that what he had thought, too? 

Logan shook his head to clear his mind. He tossed the ring in his pencil cup and gathered his bag and car keys.

If he allowed himself to ignore the lapse in reality, he could even pretend like using the ring in this fashion was the same as saying “Fuck you” to the man he had almost married a year ago.

It was just one night, and an hour or so tomorrow morning after all.

Logan arrived the next day earlier than normal, which was an unexpected surprise. He got to flick on the lights and watch the floor illuminate itself. His shoes made a lovely type of clack on the tiling.

It used to feel lonely, being this early to work, but Logan found himself distracted by the anticipation of the days promised events.

He finished correcting Janet's spreadsheets and sent them off for proper filing, reorganized his desk, slipped on his ring, and managed to get his coffee brewed before most of the office had come alive. 

"Holy shit," he heard Kyle whisper to Max, "Is Logan smiling?"

Curious. It seemed that he was. Logan settled himself against the wall of the break room, Remus’s preferred cup in hand, where he had an excellent view of the cubical where Remus came up with his schemes. Jen, Janet, and Beatrice were already huddling around the entrance, much like a committee of domesticated vultures preparing for a feast.

By the time that Remus showed up to the office, running three minutes late, Logan was nearly giddy. Perhaps he could understand why Remus did what he did, if this was the sort of feeling that he experienced every time he opened his mouth.

Logan had seen many beautiful things in his lifetime; one of his hobbies was visiting art museums, art galleries, movie premieres and the likes while on his mandatory three weeks of time off from work. Still nothing could quite capture the glee that was invoked directly into Logan when Remus’s eyes had widened and his jaw dropped and his face flushed with embarrassment when Quinn squeaked at the sight of him. 

Remus Prince looked like a work of art when the world dumped him on the floor and left him too shocked to speak.

If he thought himself a king of the office, then Logan was honored to be the guillotine. 

Except.

“Logie!” Remus whined, throwing his arms up, “I thought we agreed to keep it a secret!”

Logan’s smile vaporized, almost instantly, “Wait--”

“You Mischievous Mathematician, You!” Remus giggled crossing the area far quicker than a person should be able to cross that distance. Logan blinked and suddenly Remus was right in front of him, a foot, half a foot, a handful of inches. And his voice only seemed to get louder, bolder, more excited with every step. Logan had a hypothesis that all twenty eight of the workers on the floor were watching them with baited breath.

“Well I’m happy!” Remus said loudly for Kyle and Jen and Janet and Beatrice and, and, and-- “I’ve missed getting lunch together! Let’s go to the sandwich shop down the street!”

“Absolutely not--”

“Or we could do that Thai restaurant that’s your favorite!” Remus said, which tripped Logan up because Remus had noticed he preferred Thai? Logan couldn’t even remember the last time he had Thai! How could Remus have possibly known he liked Thai? 

“I’ll pay!” Remus said when Logan hadn’t responded quick enough to turn down the lunch proposal. “Oh this is going to be so much fun, Lolo!”

And Remus came in far too close, closer than anyone has been to him in a year. His eyes were brown with flecks of green dark enough to seem like a swamp at Twilight. They gleamed as he fluttered his lashes at Logan and his mouth curls into a pointed smile.

“Let’s play,” Remus said so softly that Logan himself could barely hear it. And then he pulled back, and stepped away with Logan’s coffee in his hands. He took a long sip and licked his lip afterwards. “Mmm! Just how I like it Lo! You’re so good to me!”

Logan knew for a fact that Remus did not like black coffee. He’d seen the numbers that went into buying creamer for the break room.

Just what did Remus think he was doing? Playing along with Logan’s rumor reversal? Encouraging it? 

Remus smiled at him. “Lunch it is!” He said and waved Logan goodbye with his fingers.

Of course Logan could out him right there, right then. All he had to say was that it was a lie and that he and Remus were in no way married and he had no intentions of having lunch together. But for some reason the words seemed to be figuratively jammed in his throat, leaving him with nothing more than splutterings to vocalize his frustration.

Fine. Logan inhaled through his nose, curled his lip, and twisted his watch on his left hand to center his thoughts. Remus would like to play a game?

Fine. Logan could play a game with him. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something, dearest?” Logan said before Remus could get too far away.

He could see the way Remus’s eyes light up at the nickname, the twitch of his mustache where he was struggling not to laugh too boldly. “Am I?”

“I did make you coffee. Do you not tip your barista?” 

“Ah,” Remus swirled the mug, “And how does my “barista” like his tips then?”

When Logan had put on the ring, he had not expected to end up with Remus’s lips on his.

And yet.

Remus kissed like he was dying and wanted to make every second last, like he was living for the moment, like he had nothing left too lose. Logan thought it was ridiculous that he tasted like pickles this early in the morning.

“I think you’ll find I won’t fold that easily, Specs,” Remus breathed when he pulled back.

Logan replied, “May the best man win.”

And then he took his coffee back out of Remus’s hands and headed back to his office with that ring firmly on his hand. It appeared that he would need it for just a bit longer.

Part Three

[unsaidholland]

carbonara | s. holland

“I promise.” prompt #26 in @t-holland2080​ ‘s writing challenge :)

this was so fun to write and participate in!!

warnings: none !

liam was the greatest boyfriend you could have ever asked for, that is until he completely ghosted you, deleted everything that you were in or had to do with you off his social media, and became active on tinder again. there were no words exchanged to insinuate the breakup, it just happened. 

you were left with so many questions and not enough answers. why would he leave me? what did i do wrong? the sad part is, not once did you ask how you could get him back. he was gone and you knew it, but he left his sweaters, he had left behind every single thing that would have reminded you of him. none of your friends knew why, and if they did they didn’t tell you. his friends hadn’t answered any of your texts. just like liam, they all had ghosted you.

maybe it was easier for you to pretend like he had never happened, but you were still processing everything. you couldn’t just forget him while you were figuring out what was happening. 

after a week of staying at home sulking, sam decided that enough was enough. he came by your apartment and told you to get ready because you were going to spend the day at his house. as much as you tried to refuse, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. he was ready to give up anything and everything to make you feel better. he was your best friend, and he took it upon himself to take care of you even if you couldn’t take care of yourself. 

you laid under the covers, on your side in full fetal position, in silence. you didn’t even realize your mom had let sam in, and that he was standing in your doorway until you heard a camera shutter. you sat up and looked over at the doorway to see sam standing there with his phone out. predicting what he was going to make you do, you laid back down onto your bed and pulled the duvet up over your head, earning a small chuckle from sam. 

“come on y/n, it’s been a week and you haven’t even left your house.” all sam was doing was stating facts. you didn’t need to hear this from one more person. you were heartbroken, but anyone would be able to tell. 

“go away sam,” you sighed out. you didn’t wanna go anywhere, and you were not planning on going anywhere, but then sam gave you an offer too good to turn down. 

“if you get out of bed and come over, i’ll make you all the carbonara you want.” how could you turn that down? he was willing to make you unhealthy, copious amounts of your favourite food. never mind the fact that it wasn’t healthy to only have carbs, it was the only thing that made you voluntarily get out of bed, put on a different change of clothes and get out of the house. 

soon enough you found yourself sitting on sam’s couch. the house was empty, his mom was out on a shoot, his dad was out having a meeting, and paddy was at school. tessa sat beside you as you were curled up under a blanket despite the sweater and sweatpants you were wearing. 

sam came back to the couch from the kitchen with two bowls of carbonara, one for him and one for you. murder on the orient express was playing on his tv as the two of you began to eat. neither of you were actually paying attention to the film playing on the tv. sam was waiting for you to open up, while your mind continued to race, thinking of all the possible answers to your questions. 

you took a bite of the pasta and closed your eyes as you relished the dish. sam always made the best food, especially since he started taking cooking seriously and chose to major in it in university. although you were always honest with him with his food, you always loved everything he made. you swore that he had to be your wedding caterer if possible. 

“sam, why did he leave me?” you asked, turning to face him. the bowl of carbonara sat in your lap, half-finished as the movie played in the background unnoticed. 

sam let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “honestly y/n/n, he’s an idiot for leaving you. i don’t know why he did it, but,” sam paused, wanting to choose his words wisely, ”you’ll find someone better.” did sam have feelings for you? he didn’t know. he knew he would do anything for you, but that’s just what friends do, right?

“i’m sorry, this is stupid.” immediately you felt bad. sam was trying to cheer you up, but instead, your mind kept pulling yourself back into a constant cycle of overthinking. “i shouldn’t be thinking about him right now, not when you’re right next to me.” 

your words rang in his head. not when you’re right next to me. what did that even mean? “you’re allowed to be upset y/n, you just shouldn’t have to be alone. i’m here for you, always,” he said, voice getting quiet towards the end of the sentence. he was always there for you, you knew that and so did he, but he wanted to be there for you forever. he wanted you to stop crying over these guys who don’t know how to treat you properly, he wanted you to find the perfect guy just so you could be happy, he didn’t even realize it, but he wanted to be the one to make you happy. 

before he could even think, sam said, “every single time you want carbonara, i’ll make it for you. if you’re heartbroken, if it’s three am, if it’s the middle of the day, it won’t matter. i’ll make it for you.” he had put his bowl down on the coffee table, tessa being good and not eating it. he took your hands in his, looked into your eyes and said, “i promise.”

“don’t make a promise you can’t keep sam,” you said lightheartedly. did you want to take him up on this offer, yeah, of course you did, but you also learned from all the breakups you’ve been through that promises were made to be broken. that’s just the way the world worked, and unfortunately, you’ve fallen into its trap one too many times. 

“i swear to you, i’ll make you carbonara anytime.” his brown eyes shone with determination, determination that wasn’t hidden to you, determination that you picked up on immediately. unfortunately for you, sam was quite stubborn and set in his ways, and he knew he was going to make you give in. 

“i’m holding you to that samuel.” you turned back to the screen, not knowing where the characters were in the plot. your brain was focused on how he was willing to give himself to you through carbonara anytime you asked. 

•••

it had been five years since sam got you out of bed by making carbonara. a few months after that day, he finally realized his feelings for you. now, after dating for a year and ten months, everything stayed perfect. he went from your best friend to your boyfriend, to hopefully your future husband. 

he had a whole plan. he even asked your parents for permission to propose, not that he needed to, but because he wanted them involved in this process. both of your families had decided to go on a christmas/new years vacation together. before you knew it, you found yourself in bali with your family and your boyfriend’s family.

sam was riddled with nerves as you all went to the beach that day. the only person who knew about his plan out of all the hollands was harry, but to be fair, how could he hide anything from the person who has been with him before even being born?

“are you ready?” harry asked him, though he knew the answer. sam was never going to be ready, but he was itching to make it official. he can’t live without you.

“you know i’m never going to be ready, but i’m still gonna do it.” harry gently punched sam’s bicep.

“you got this.” harry smiled at his twin.

sam looked over at you at the volleyball net. sporting a pair of shorts and a blue bikini top, he watched as you were tossing the ball back and forth over the net with paddy. he saw the way his family just got along with you and how they all had accepted you into the family, but now it was time to make it official.

as if on cue, nicola had called paddy over, leaving you alone at the net. tom was in the ocean swimming, but harry had caught his attention, and he came back to where both sets of parents were sitting. sam was forever grateful that he had found a villa that had a private beach connected to it.

“hey love, let’s go sit with them,” sam said when he approached you. you nodded, immediately grabbing his hand. was sam even ready? was he prepared? he swore he practiced what he was going to say over and over again in the shower all the days leading up to this. though he knew he would never be fully prepared, he had a sense of hope that he would be more prepared than he felt now. 

everyone was lost in conversation, mostly talking about how nice the villa that you all had rented was, but harry looked at his twin and saw nothing but nerves and fear. sam thought for a second, here goes nothing. “wait guys can i say something real quick?” harry smiled as he realized what was happening. a chorus of ‘sure’s echoed between the families as he turned to you. 

“i honestly can’t believe we’re all here together in bali, but i actually had a surprise planned for you.” a confused look painted your face as the brown-eyed boy spoke. “i know we’ve only been together for less than two years, but this just feels right - our families together. i promised you years ago that i would make you carbonara whenever, but i have a few promises to add to that if you’d let me. i promise to always be there for you, to always make you happy, to always give you cuddles whenever you want. i promise to love you forever and always,” he paused to get on one knee, pulling the ring out from his pocket, causing everyone to gasp except for harry. “i swear to you, i’ll be the best husband you could have if you would marry me, y/n. so, will you marry me?” tears sprung at the corners of your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. you nodded, not being able to find the words to say. sam smiled, stood up, and captured your tear-streaked lips in a kiss, and when he pulled away, the diamond engagement ring was placed on your ring finger.

as your families celebrated over the engagement, you turned to him. “when we get home, can we have celebratory carbonara?” he laughed, nodded, and kissed you again.

[actinglikethat]

We Can Never Be Friends - MGK Imagine

Plot: Despite you and Colson breaking up a year ago, you still have feelings for him and suspect he might still have some for you. But a wrench is thrown in your thoughts when he brings another girl to a hangout.

A/N: Yay, this is the first writing I’m posting here! It’s loosely based on a dream I had and it’s kinda angsty/full of pining but I have a part two in the works 👀 (also idk how to write these describer things so bear with me lmao)

Warnings: One scene describes the plot of a movie Colson’s starring in (in the story) and it briefly mentions kidnapping.

You and Colson had broken up a year ago, after mutually deciding that his tour schedule and the demands of his career put too much of a strain on your relationship. Despite the way your romance ended, it was an amicable breakup and you stayed friends afterwards. Although you didn’t want to admit it, you were still in love with him. Between his looks, his dedication to his art, and his commitment to being a good father to Casie, you couldn’t help but feel like maybe you should’ve pushed harder to keep him. 

There were a lot of moments at hangouts and house parties where you thought he laughed a little too long at your stories, or maintained eye contact for a few seconds more than he should’ve, that made you think maybe he felt the same way. You tried asking the likes of Pete, Rook, and Slim whether he talked about you often, or if they knew how he felt, but their answers weren’t what you wanted to hear. 

As you got ready for a hangout at Rook’s one night, you found yourself putting on Colson’s favorite dress of yours, along with a necklace he got you two birthdays ago. You wore that outfit on countless dinner dates and to the studio a few times, and you gave yourself a melancholy smile in the mirror as you looked back. Casie thought that dress brought out your eyes well. She also thought you might become her stepmother one day. 

Once you got to Rook’s, you made your rounds around the living room to say hi to everyone, coming to Colson last. His gaze immediately went to the necklace, then the dress, then to your face, his face dropping. He muttered a quick “hey,” gave you an awkward hug, and sat back down. It was clear you had gotten into his head, so you figured you’d sit next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said as you stepped over. “Jasmine’s sitting there.” 

The smile you had on your face a moment earlier fell, and you looked over your shoulder at the rest of the group, hoping to make eye contact with someone who could tell you who this “Jasmine” was. Pete offered you a sympathetic smile, making room on the other couch next to him. 

“Who the hell is Jasmine?” You quietly asked him as you sat down.

“New girlfriend,” he said. “They met on the set of that new movie he’s filming in Calabasas. She’s a lot like you, you know. I think you’d be good friends if it weren’t for the fact that she’s dating the star-crossed love of your life.”

You elbowed him in the side as a girl you had never met came into the room. Her eyes instantly fell on you, and she smiled as she walked over.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! I’m Jasmine, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“Yeah, you too!”

“Everyone’s told me so much about you, Colson and Rook always say you’re one of the sweetest, funniest people they’ve met.”

“Do they?” You felt your heart fall to your stomach.

“All the time! I have a feeling we’ll get along well.”

“Same,” you fibbed. She smiled and took her seat next to Colson, joining in whatever conversation he was having with Slim and Noah. 

You leaned back on the couch, almost regretting showing up. 

“I didn’t wanna tell you he still talks about you,” Pete said. “I figured it’d kinda sting now that he’s taken.” 

“She took him alright,” you muttered, earning a laugh. “I just, I don’t know. I thought maybe there was a chance he’d wanna take me back.” 

“It’s possible, I think. I mean, it’s Colson, how long do we think this will really last?”

“We were together for a year and seven months. Who knows?” 

He sighed, unsure of how to comfort you. 

As the night went on, you made conversation with most people in the room, aside from Colson and Jasmine. You wanted to talk to them, partly so Jasmine didn’t think you were a bitch and partly because talking to Colson was one of your favorite things to do. After some convincing, you got Pete to go over with you, scared that going alone would become an awkward third-wheel situation. 

Pete was right, you and Jasmine had a lot in common. It was easy for you two to find things to discuss, and she seemed like a really genuine, fun person. Pete occasionally chimed in to tell you other things you had in common, but Colson was practically silent the whole time. 

A little while after you started talking, Jasmine excused herself to the kitchen to go get another drink. You turned to Pete, unsure what to do without Jasmine there, and he started asking Colson more about his new movie. 

“It’s a romcom, which I haven’t really done before,” he said. “A guy’s with this girl and they break up over some stupid shit, and the whole movie they’re trying to win each other back without knowing it.”

Your gaze had been alternating between the floor and the rest of the room, but you noticed that Colson was looking directly at you while he described the film. You looked up at him almost mournfully, wondering if there was any real-life connection to the plot. Noah pulled Pete aside to show him something, leaving you and Colson standing alone.

“That sounds like a nice movie,” you commented, hoping to make the situation less awkward. “I know what that’s like.”

“Me too,” he sighed. He bit his lip, looking pensive, like he was trying to find the right words for whatever he wanted to say next. He didn’t get to say it though, since Jasmine returned before he could open his mouth. 

“I was just telling Y/N about the movie,” Colson explained.

“Oh, it’s such a fun one. The whole premise is so disturbing. I mean, what kind of a sicko would hold his daughter-in-law for ransom in a shed?”

You furrowed your brow, contemplating whether Colson was actually describing the movie earlier. “Uh, yeah, that’s so twisted.”

Pete rejoined the group and started rambling about whatever Noah showed him, but you couldn’t pay enough attention to follow what he was saying. Whenever he said something funny, you glanced over at Colson to see if he was laughing. It was exactly what you’d do at these hangouts when you were dating. When he noticed you looking up at him, he’d smile and put his arm around you, if he was next to you. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Jasmine asked, noticing your expression drop. Upon hearing this, Colson looked up at you, and Pete turned to look at you too, but he already knew the answer.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I could drive you home in a little bit if you want, I have work in the morning so I’m not staying too late,” she offered. 

“Thanks, I’d really appreciate that.” As much as you wanted to stay, it was torture to see how happy Colson and Jasmine were together. It didn’t help that the guys and Noah already loved her so much. It frustrated you that no one warned you that she’d be there, but at the same time, they knew how much Colson meant to you and didn’t want to upset you.

After some more awkward small talk, Slim and Baze came over to ask Colson some questions about a song they were working on. Jasmine excitedly chimed in, offering some production ideas. Pete could tell you were uncomfortable, so he put his hand on your back, nudging you towards the kitchen.  

Once it was just the two of you, Pete grabbed you a water bottle from the fridge, then sat down in a barstool next to the counter. 

“Come into my office, kid,” he said, pulling out another stool for you.

“I don’t know what to do,” you sighed, sitting down next to him.

“It’s a tricky situation to be in. But after tonight, I really think he’s still into you.”

“Why would he bring Jasmine here then? Especially knowing I was coming.”

“I dunno. I don’t think he knows, either. But the way he looked at you when you first got here? Then he looked crushed when you couldn’t sit next to him.”

“I dunno, Pete. It’s Colson we’re talking about, he’s not exactly a saint.”

“You’re not wrong, but I think there’s something there.”

Before you could think of something to say, Jasmine came in to tell you she was gonna go warm up the car. You nodded and started saying goodbye to everyone. You couldn’t find Colson, so you wandered around the house to see where he was.

You finally bumped into him in the hallway, after he came out of the bathroom.

“Uh, hey,” he said. “You heading out?”

“Yeah, Jasmine’s warming up the car.”

“Alright. Well, it was nice to see you again.”

He pulled you into a hug much warmer than the one he gave you earlier, and you closed your eyes against his chest, not wanting to have to say goodbye again. His arms lingered a bit longer than they should have, and as you pulled away, he kissed your forehead before sighing.

“Get home safe,” he muttered, returning to the living room and leaving you in the hall.

[sesamestreep]

stack the deck with wild cards (chapter 1)

(read on AO3)

SUMMARY: The situation with Cassian is complicated even before Jyn finds out she's pregnant, but deciding to get an abortion should really be the last straw for him, right? If there was any chance he'd still want to date her, she thought it had to be long gone by now. And yet he always finds a way to surprise her. [AKA - The Obvious Child AU you didn't know you wanted]

A/N: I’m going to be posting chapters of this fic daily, since it’s already completed. I never write chapter fic, so I have no idea what I’m doing and please bear with me. Also, this fic (and the movie it gets its plot from) is about abortion, so if that’s not something you’re into reading about, you should really strongly consider not reading this. I promise you won’t hurt my feelings. For those interested, there’s additional notes if you follow the AO3 link above. If you want to blacklist any future updates of this fic on tumblr, I’ll tag it with [#stack the deck verse] for your convenience. Chapter 2 should be posted tomorrow. Stay golden.

The reality of the current situation doesn’t hit Jyn at the doctor’s office when she gets the news or even when she’s booking her follow-up appointment. It doesn’t sink in when they tell her how much it will cost or give her the information she’ll need or the prescriptions to fill. It doesn’t hit her when she’s on the subway, heading home and texting Bodhi with numb fingers to see if he wants to have a movie night, or even when his cheery reply—replete with emojis—comes through saying he can come over tonight.

No, the moment everything becomes real is when she’s standing in the wine aisle at Trader Joe’s, going back and forth on whether spending eight dollars on a bottle of wine so that she can drink all of it in one sitting is irresponsible when she’s pregnant but she’s also not keeping the baby. It’s only then that she starts crying.

She’ll blame it on the hormones if anyone asks, she decides, which might even be accurate. She’s not really a crier under normal circumstances, but even if she wasn’t pregnant, she’s pretty sure draining her savings account for a medical procedure that she wouldn’t need if she had just been a little more responsible with her body would make her cry no matter how tough she thinks she is. Lucky for her, though, she lives in New York City and no one bats an eye at a crying woman in the grocery store. An older woman with a toddler in the seat of her grocery cart passes by and nods in understanding without saying a word, which is oddly comforting.

It’s the reminder that she needs to be careful about her money that talks Jyn out of buying wine for this evening (Bodhi probably wouldn’t have any and she doesn’t need to drink an entire bottle by herself under any circumstances, let alone these, even if she really really wants to), but she goes on to throw whatever snacks she wants into the cart indiscriminately because it has been a spectacularly shitty day. She spends more than she should (what else is new?) and sweats profusely trying to drag all of it back to her sixth floor apartment. She slams cabinet doors in frustration as she puts everything away and then takes the longest, hottest shower her shitty pipes in her shitty apartment will allow. When she emerges, her skin is bright pink and she pokes her stomach viciously, somehow annoyed and confused and relieved all at the same time that it gives away nothing of her current condition.

She spends too long sitting in a towel on her bed, dicking around on her phone instead of getting ready and ultimately decides Bodhi doesn’t care what her hair looks like and so she runs a comb through it and calls it done. She puts on her softest, stretchiest leggings and an ugly sweater she raided from her dad’s closet when she was a teenager that she loves because it has been washed and worn so many times that the sleeves now have holes in them that she can stick her thumbs through. It’s easily the least glamorous look she could have come up with, but she’s pregnant and she’s mad about it, so she’s going for comfort over style.

By the time the buzzer goes off, signaling Bodhi’s arrival, Jyn has managed to light a few candles and put some of the snacks she bought into bowls, so at least it looks like she put effort into some part of the evening. She presses the button to let him up and fidgets as she waits to open the door. She has to tell Bodhi as a trial run for telling…well, everyone else, basically…but a part of her wants to tell no one, deal with it by herself and pretend nothing is wrong. Of course, that would be stupid—the doctor even told her not to try and handle this by herself—but it seems more appealing than the alternative at this particular moment. It’s not possible, though. She needs someone to come with her to the appointment, at the very least, and Bodhi will do it without hesitation, that much she’s sure of.

When she hears footsteps in the hallway, she undoes the locks and opens the door. She takes a deep breath that is immediately squeezed out of her when Bodhi wraps her in a big hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” he says, rocking her a little side to side as he embraces her. “I’m so glad you suggested this! I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately.”

“I know,” Jyn says, clinging a little. Her eyes feel misty again already and that is definitely the hormones’ fault.

Bodhi pulls back to smile at her and his eyes catch on the candles and food. He gives her a suspicious look. “Okay, if this is an intervention for spending too much time with my new boyfriend, I know I deserve it but also I would have expected a much better turn out. You couldn’t even get Cassian here?”

Jyn winces at the mention of Cassian’s name but she thinks she covers it quickly with a forced smile. “It’s not an intervention,” she says as she steps around him to close the door.

“So why all the fanfare for a regular movie night?”

“What fanfare? There’s no fanfare!”

“Jyn, you put cheese puffs in a bowl ,” Bodhi says, as if she’s being obtuse. “You’re gonna have to wash that later. You did not have to do that for me.”

It’s on the tip of her tongue to make a joke— I’m nesting —but she refrains. “It’s no big deal,” she says, instead, and gestures to the couch for him to take a seat.

“If you say so,” he replies, still eyeing her warily and not taking the hint.

“Why don’t we sit down?” She finally asks, sounding strange and false even to her own ears. She leads the way over to the couch and Bodhi follows her, eventually lowering himself into the armchair with the same demeanor of someone approaching a wild animal.

“Jyn, seriously,” he says, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees once she’s curled up like a cat across from him, “is everything alright? You’re acting...odd.”

“Everything is fine,” she says, lightly, and hopes that saying so makes it true. “I just, uh, need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Jyn twists her hands together nervously, not sure how to get started now that the moment is finally here. “I need you to promise you’re not going to freak out,” she says, stalling for time.

“Ah, yes, that thing everyone says when everything is, in fact, totally fine.”

“Bodhi…”

“You’re leaving New York, aren’t you?” He asks, worried. “To be closer to Saw?”

“What? No, I—”

“Oh my god, it’s not Saw, is it?! He didn’t die, did he?”

“No, Saw is fine,” Jyn says, resisting the urge to rub her temple in frustration. “I mean, he’s not fine , obviously, he’s still sick, but he’s not—”

“Tell me you’re not quitting the band,” Bodhi interrupts. “Listen, I know things have been crazy lately, but I think—”

“Bodhi, I’m pregnant,” Jyn shouts, and the silence that follows is overwhelming.

“You’re…?”

“Pregnant. With child. Expecting,” she says, bitterly. “Yes.”

He looks like he’s been hit over the head with a mallet, which is bizarrely satisfying. She handled the news better and it was actually happening to her.

“How long have you known?” He asks, after a long time and with apparent effort. It’s not the first question she expected, but it’s not totally surprising.

“Like, five hours.”

“Five—?” Bodhi shakes his head in what she thinks is disbelief. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Jyn just blinks in response. What is he talking about? “Sorry?”

“You and Reece broke up like six months ago, how did you not realize you were pregnant sooner?” He asks.

“I…Bodhi, I’m not six months pregnant,” Jyn sputters. She smacks her stomach to drive home the point, which in retrospect is a stupid move, but she’s not thinking straight. “I mean, do I look it?”

“No! No,” he says immediately. “That’s why I was so confused, but you…you haven’t been with anyone since the breakup. You would have told me.”

When Jyn says nothing in response, just bites her lip, Bodhi narrows his eyes at her. “You would have told me, right?” He asks.

Jyn takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I’m eight weeks pregnant,” she says, feeling close to tears again. “I found out today, I have an appointment in a few weeks to—to terminate it. I just need someone to go with me, the nurse said I had to, otherwise I wouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“Jyn,” he says, placing his hand over hers. “Of course, I’ll go with you. I just—I’m not upset with you, you know that, right?”

She nods, even though she doesn’t feel altogether certain of it. She loves Bodhi and trusts him, more than she trusts almost anyone else, but she’s not convinced she deserves to have him be nice to her after she’s fucked things up this badly. He ought to be upset with her.

“I know,” she says, anyway. A single tear escapes, which is just perfect. “I’m upset with myself.”

“Are you okay?” Bodhi asks, delicately. “Did this person hurt you or force you in some way?”

“No, no. God, no,” Jyn says, pulling her hands free with more aggression than the act required. She wipes the tears away in annoyance. “Nothing like that.”

“Thank God,” he says, looking heavenward and everything. “Then why all the secrecy? I texted you the minute I finished hooking up with Taidu for the first time.”

Jyn laughs even as she continues crying. “I did not ask you to do that.”

“No, but...not even a braggy ‘I just got laid!’ text? I thought we were best friends!”

“We are,” she replies hastily. “I was just embarrassed.”

“Why?” He asks, intrigued. “Is this person weird? Are they famous?”

She laughs again, feeling better in spite of the bomb she’s about to drop. “No, Bodhi…”

“They’re not married, are they? Because I promise not to judge you, but come on!”

“They’re not married.”

“Good, because for a second I was worried you slept with Baze and that would definitely break up the band,” he says, solemnly.

Jyn smacks his shoulder half-heartedly. “I would never sleep with Baze,” she says. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Fine,” Bodhi says. “So, it was Chirrut, then?”

“Bodhi!”

“Well, you’re being so cryptic,” he shoots back. “If you just told me—”

“I slept with Cassian.”

Bodhi just blinks at her for a long, torturous moment. She’s never actually seen Bodhi yell at anyone before, so she doesn’t know if that’s what is about to happen but she braces herself for it anyway.

“What,” he finally says, flat like a statement and not a question.

“I had sex with Cassian and now I’m pregnant,” she says firmly, as if just admitting it out loud isn’t making her heart hammer in her chest.

“You’re pregnant with Cassian’s baby,” Bodhi says, disbelieving and Jyn winces. She’s been trying not to think of it as an actual baby, because she’s not keeping it. But if she did nothing for seven more months, she would have a baby and it would be Cassian’s, in a purely biological sense. She doesn’t admit to that line of thinking to Bodhi, though.

“Yes,” she says, instead. “Technically,” she adds, because she can’t stop herself.

“Technically? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just—Getting someone pregnant doesn’t make a man a father,” she says, with more heat than she intended. “Raising a child does. And there’s not going to be a child, so…that’s all I meant.”

“Sorry,” Bodhi says, placing his hands over hers again. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just so surprised.”

“You didn’t upset me,” Jyn replies, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s these stupid hormones, that’s all.”

“Yeah,” he says, nodding. He moves to sit next to her on the couch, and she folds her legs up to give him room. “How did he take it when you told him?”

Jyn winces again before she can stop herself and she knows she doesn’t hide her reaction quickly enough from the way Bodhi stands abruptly. He always paces when he’s freaked out.

“Jyn, please tell me Cassian knows,” he pleads as he makes a circuit around her coffee table.

“I’ve only known for half a day! I haven’t had a chance to tell him!”

“Why would you tell me and not him?”

“You’re my best friend!”

“It’s his baby!”

“I wanted to make sure you could come to my appointment with me,” she says, and hopes the reminder is enough to make him feel sorry for her. He only stops pacing, but that’s still an improvement. “I was hoping you’d tell me what to do,” she adds, since it’s the actual truth.

“Well, obviously, go to your appointment,” Bodhi says, sinking back onto the couch.

“No, I mean—what I should do about Cassian?”

Bodhi looks over at her, confused. “What do you mean, what should you do about him? Tell him what’s going on.”

“I know, but how?”

“Same way you told me. Use your words.”

“Can I text him?”

“Absolutely not,” he says, scandalized. “You can’t tell him you’re pregnant via text. Who raised you?!”

“Saw.”

He acknowledges that with a nod. “Fair point.”

“I bet you’re going to say I can’t leave him a voicemail either,” Jyn says.

“You’re right, but mostly because no one under the age of eighty checks their voicemail anymore,” he says, patting her knee absently.

“Really?”

“Really,” Bodhi replies. “Just...sit down with him and tell him what’s going on. Same as you did with me.”

“It’s different with you.”

“It’s not that different.”

“It’s not your baby I’m aborting,” Jyn says quietly. “And you love me.”

Bodhi looks over at her then, some strange mix of emotions playing out on his face. She half expects him to object and say something ridiculous like Cassian does love her, and the very idea stresses her out. When he doesn’t say that, though, she finds herself oddly disappointed.

“Cassian’s a good guy. He’ll understand,” he says, instead, as if she doesn’t know that somehow. As if that isn’t a huge part of why this situation sucks so bad. As if she isn’t mortified that she has to involve him in something like this. As if she isn’t furious with herself because this is going to blow any chance she ever had with him in the first place. As if she hadn’t already done that by hooking up with him and then never calling him afterwards.

“I know,” Jyn says, looking down at her hands. She doesn’t actually know that—that he’ll understand. She thinks she knows Cassian fairly well, in a casual way. They’re mostly friends through Bodhi but they see a lot of each other. She suspects, from things he’s said before about politics, that he’s probably okay with abortion in a general sense, but it’s different when it’s your potential kid. She can’t actually be certain he’ll be cool with it, but she’s also not asking his permission. She just thinks he deserves to know. Or maybe she just wants an excuse to call him, for all this is the worst possible one the universe could have handed her.

“It’s just weird,” she adds, after a minute lost in thought, “for this to be the thing I call him about, after we hooked up. It feels shitty.”

“Wait, hold on,” Bodhi says, waving his hand dramatically at her. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I don’t know what you think I’m saying.”

“Have you not talked to him since you slept with him?”

“I haven’t,” Jyn says, bracing herself. Bodhi opens his mouth to interject, so she continues quickly, stopping him. “But, in my defense, it was right before the holidays and then he was out of town for like a month, so it seemed weird to reach out, and—”

“Jyn,” he says, and his tone is so full of reproach, it shuts her up immediately. “None of those are good reasons and I think you know that.”

“It’s not like he and I talk a lot anyway,” she objects, but it’s futile, if Bodhi’s unimpressed look is any indication. “We mostly see each other at the shows and the band didn’t have any in December, so I just haven’t had the chance. That’s all.”

“Okay, so none of it had to do with your overwhelming fear of intimacy and vulnerability?”

“No…?”

“Very convincing,” Bodhi says, and Jyn shoves him.

“Shut up,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well, if that’s not what happened,” he says reasonably, “you have to tell me what did.”

“What—you want details?!”

Bodhi shrugs. “You hooked up with my roommate and didn’t tell anyone about it for almost two months. There must be a reason.”

“Maybe it was bad,” she says, petulantly.

He just gives her an arch look in reply, which she deserves. “Was it bad?” He asks, bored.

Jyn bites her lip, hard. “No,” she admits. “It actually really wasn’t.”

“Well, then. Spill!”

She sighs dramatically—more dramatically than the situation deserves, honestly, and it’s already a pretty dramatic situation. “What do you want to know?

“When did this happen?”

“By my doctor’s estimate, eight weeks ago.”

“Jyn, for the love of—!”

“I was just trying to lighten the mood,” she says, for all she was actually just trying to stall. “It was that night we played at that terrible hipster bar in November.”

“Jyn, we exclusively play at terrible hipster bars. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“It’s the one with the arcade games in the back? It’s changed names like three times this year?”

“ Oh , that place. Yeah. What is that place’s name?”

“No clue,” Jyn says, with a shrug. “But it was at that bar.”

Bodhi’s eyes widen, though whether it’s with shock or delight or both, she’s not sure. “You hooked up with him at the bar ?”

“No, no. We went home together afterwards, once the rest of you had left.”

“I knew it,” he practically shouts. “I knew something was up that night!”

“You did not!”

“Yes, I did. You can ask Taidu, I definitely said something about it to him.”

Jyn waves him off, not because she’s convinced but because she’s not going to bother Taidu about something this stupid. “Whatever.”

“You still haven’t told me how it happened.”

“Do you need me to explain how sex works? Because I feel like you get the general idea.”

“No, smartass,” he says with an eye roll. “I mean, you and Cassian hang out at bars all the time together and you’ve never hooked up before. So, what happened this time?”

“Well,” Jyn says, taking a steadying breath, “you and Taidu left early for some reason and you said you were going to stay at his place. And Baze and Chirrut left right after that, because I think that’s when Baze had that terrible cold.”

“Jyn, no offense, but who cares?”

“You asked me what was different about that night! I’m explaining!”

“Okay, fine,” Bodhi allows. “It was different because we all callously abandoned you.”

“Yes, thank you! Anyway, it was just me and Cassian at the bar and I had just ordered another drink when Baze and Chirrut decided to leave and I was giving them a hard time about it and Cassian offered to stay with me for another round, so I wouldn’t have wasted my money or have to drink alone.”

“How gallant of him.”

“No editorializing,” she snaps, and Bodhi dutifully mimes locking his mouth and throwing away the key. “Anyway, we had a couple more drinks, we had sex, and now I’m pregnant. The end.”

“Fine,” he says, giving up. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. I was just interested because you’re both my friends and I love you. Also, I know how hard the break-up was on you, so I was excited that you felt comfortable enough to move on. But you clearly don’t want to talk about it, so forget it!” He pivots away from her on the couch and leans forward to grab some popcorn. “What movie are we watching, anyway?”

Jyn groans in frustration. He’s always been way too good at guilt-tripping her into anything she doesn’t want to do. “You’re such a brat!”

“What? I’m changing the subject, like you clearly want to!”

“I’m embarrassed, Bodhi!”

“I don’t see why,” he says, looking at her blankly. “Cassian is good looking and he’s not a creep. You could do way worse. You have, in fact.”

She punches him in the shoulder in retaliation. “Hey!”

“What? I mean, you dated Reece for two years and he wasn’t exactly a catch. Cassian is an improvement, in my opinion.”

“I see we’re not sparing my feelings anymore where Reece is concerned.”

Bodhi covers her hand with his own. “Jyn, that guy cheated on you for a long time, and then he broke up with you so he could be with the other woman—right before you went onstage to perform, I should mention—and he had the audacity to blame you for the cheating because you ‘didn’t give him enough attention,’” he says, with the most judgemental use of air quotes she’s ever seen. “I care about your feelings, truly I do. But I do not care about Reece and I will not pretend you aren’t way better off without him.”

“I’m not his biggest fan either,” she says, defensively. “But what does it say about me that I dated him for all that time without realizing what a dick he was?”

“That he was an even bigger scrub than we thought, because he managed to hide his true colors for so long,” Bodhi says, easily. “You’re not responsible for his actions.”

Jyn wants to believe him, and most days she already, mostly does. But sometimes she catches herself replaying the break-up in her head and the part where Reece said that if she’d really cared, if she’d really been in their relationship for the long haul, she’d have paid more attention to him and he would never have even thought about cheating. She’d left him no choice, with all her weird part-time jobs and her crazy schedule and her gigs with her silly little band all over the city in the middle of the night. If she were more together, if she knew what she wanted from her own life, she could have been there for her partner, but she was too much of a mess. Too much of a work-in-progress to be the sort of girlfriend someone wanted to be serious with.

“I know,” she says, half-heartedly. If Bodhi’s told her this once, he’s told her a thousand times. Maybe she’ll really believe it someday, but not quite yet. “It just gets in your head, when someone treats you like that. You start to wonder if you have a neon sign over your head that says you’re not really relationship material.”

“You do not have a neon sign over your head that says anything of the kind,” Bodhi reassures her, surprisingly earnestly. “If your relationship with Reece needed work, he could have brought those issues to you to resolve them. Instead, he cheated on you. He took the easy way out and then blamed you when it made him look like an asshole. That’s on him.”

Jyn sighs, hating how often she and Bodhi have to have this conversation or some variation of it. She wishes she could just magically not be upset about it anymore, but it’s not like she didn’t have trust issues before this. The situation with Reece just made them worse. That was part of the appeal of hooking up with Cassian; she wanted to get back out there and feel desirable again, but she couldn’t do it with just anybody. Cassian was safe because she knew him and trusted him, but they weren’t super close, so it’s not like hooking up with him would ruin their friendship. He knew enough of what happened with her breakup to know that it was just a rebound, but not enough about her mental state to worry about her when she initiated things between them. She didn’t need someone to worry about her; she just needed someone to take her home.

The bar had been surprisingly busy that night, probably because some local favorite band was on after their set and they had a weirdly devoted following. Even though the rest of their group had abandoned them, the spots around Jyn and Cassian at the bar quickly filled in with noisy patrons, which left them no choice but to lean close to each other when they talked. Cassian’s arm had been curled around the back of the barstool that she was perched on, not possessively but in a way that didn’t encourage anyone to interrupt them. Jyn didn’t object; she didn’t want to talk to anyone else anyway.

Something about having Cassian’s full attention, her elbow brushing his ribs anytime she reached for her drink and feeling the warmth radiating off him in the already overly warm bar, felt nice in a way that went right to her head. She was shamelessly leaning into it, both literally—if she had curled any further into him, she would be hugging him—and figuratively—asking him personal questions she’d never bothered with before and laughing a little too loudly at his answers in a way that would have probably made him suspicious if she hadn’t distracted him by constantly touching his arm. It was the oldest trick in the book, and he must have known that, but Jyn wasn’t really in the mood to be subtle anyway.

If he was wary of her motives in flirting with him so obviously, he hadn’t mentioned any of his concerns to her. Cassian tends to be wary as a rule, which is part of why Jyn trusts him. He’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop too, just like she is. There’s a subtle understanding between them as a result. Other than that, Jyn had never given him much thought. Sure, he’s good looking, even when he comes to their gigs still in his clothes from the office, which make him look like an accountant. He’s not actually an accountant, though; he works at some organization that works with kids in the foster system, which is the sort of job that immediately put Jyn on edge when she first heard about it after he’d moved in with Bodhi. She’s technically a freelance illustrator, but since that doesn’t pay the bills with any consistency, she also works all sorts of other odd jobs to make up the difference. She doesn’t have a 401K or a high yield savings account, but she’s pretty sure Cassian does, even if he’s also probably underpaid. But he’s underpaid in the good way, the what-a-Saint way, while Jyn is underpaid in the no-one-values-your-skills, get-a-real-job way. So, at first, she’d been a little suspicious of him.

But, back then, he was Bodhi’s new roommate who also took him up on the invitation to come see his band play during one of their glamorous midnight slots at some crummy dive bar, which earned him a little respect in Jyn’s mind. When he kept showing up, she was surprised. It didn’t seem like his scene at all, but when she said as much to him one night, he’d given her a self-conscious smile and said that coming to Bodhi’s shows gave him the pretense of a social life when his co-workers asked what he did with his free time. He had a tendency to look worried or miserable when left to his own devices, but self-deprecation was a good look on him and it was nice to know he wasn’t dead serious all the time. They never became close friends after that, but Jyn always liked talking to him after the shows.

Something changed when she was going through the break-up, though. Cassian knew what happened, of course, enough to tell her he was sorry to hear about it from Bodhi, but they didn’t exactly talk in depth about it or anything. He treated her the same as he always had. The change had come from her, honestly. She’d always thought he was attractive, in that split-second way you decide when you first see someone, but she’d never given it any thought beyond that, really. But once the initial fog of I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening lifted after the break-up, she started to notice Cassian more and think about him in a way she hadn’t before. She was disappointed if he couldn’t make it to one of their gigs. She started to appreciate the dorky work outfits he wore to the dive bar venues they played and she liked talking to him after the set, when he’d give her his full attention like she was the most fascinating person in the world.

She couldn’t tell, though, if he was genuinely interested in her or if he just thought she was hot and (now) single. If she’d been smart, she would have figured that out before hooking up with him. Instead, the universe handed her the perfect opportunity to be alone with him, without any of their friends to talk them out of it or ruin the mood and she’d taken full advantage of it. She had felt almost dizzy with the possibility of it, that she could ask him to leave with her and that he’d probably say yes. Next to her, some drunk guy stumbled up to the bar and, in his haste, accidentally and rather fortuitously shoved her even further into Cassian’s arms. He’d tightened his hold on her to catch her fall and when she’d looked up, he was glaring at the man, who was completely oblivious to having made an enemy. It was ridiculously charming, to think he was offended on her behalf, as if her honor had been threatened. Really, what was she supposed to do then, except kiss him?

He’d been surprised, at first, and who could blame him? Sure, she’d been giving the corniest, most textbook signals that she was into him all night, but she hadn’t even known she was going to actually make a move until she did it. He recovered quickly, though, which was nice, and reciprocated immediately. Jyn’s not sure what she would have done if he’d asked questions or tried to talk things through first, even though she kind of expected it from him. They’d both had a few drinks, not enough to impair them by any means but just enough to embolden them.

His hand had come to rest on her back when she got pushed into him and she felt it flex, as if he was trying to hold her even closer. The other moved to her face as soon as she kissed him, though it was really just his thumb grazing her jaw, like he was worried she might turn away and he wanted to offer a slight incentive to stay where she was. She probably would have kept making out with him at the bar like they were college students or something, but she didn’t actually want to spend another second with the drunk patrons or the shitty band that was onstage. She wanted to be someplace else—anywhere else, really, so long as it meant she and Cassian could be alone. She pulled back, with great effort, and the look on Cassian’s face made her think he expected to be let down easy.

“Do you want to get out of here?” she asked, instead.

His eyebrows went up, as if that was the last thing he expected her to say. He closed his eyes, like gathering his thoughts was difficult at that moment. “I, uh—what are you asking?”

Jyn bit her lip, which was a bad habit of hers when she was nervous, but if it also happened, by pure luck, to look flirtatious, that was fine too. “I’m asking if you want to go back to your place and have sex with me,” she said, because she wasn’t about to waste time and not get exactly what she wanted out of this.

“Do I want that?” He’d asked, dumbfounded, and if she hadn’t just been having a completely normal conversation with him, she’d have worried he was drunker than she thought. But this was entirely her effect on him and it was incredibly flattering. “Do you?”

“I think the fact that I suggested it makes it pretty obvious what I want.”

Cassian had run his hand through his hair, clearly a nervous tic. “Yeah, but—yes, I would like that.”

He said the last bit decisively, as though he realized he might be accidentally talking her out of it with his hesitation. He needn’t have worried—Jyn has her mind made up about this—but she thought it was better to keep him on his toes than reveal that. She gave him a bright smile before turning to get the bartender’s attention. They paid their tab and got the hell out of there in record time.

When they left the bar, it was raining lightly, barely a drizzle at this point, but there was evidence that it had stormed earlier in the evening. The small heel on Jyn’s boots brought her close enough to Cassian’s height that, even standing outside the bar, she didn’t have to strain to reach him and pull him down for another kiss. His hands came to her hips to steady her anyway and she’d have happily continued like this for a while if the bouncers by the front door didn’t wolf whistle at them and ruin the moment.

They started walking to Cassian’s apartment without discussing it, like they agreed via telepathy that no cab driver would tolerate them given their current amount of PDA. It wasn’t a far walk, though, and Jyn had internally thanked the forces of the universe for making this happen at the closest bar to Cassian’s place, because she’s sure they would have lost their nerve over the course of a lengthy subway or cab ride. Instead, they headed for his apartment in silence, more because they were focused than not having anything to say. He held her hand the whole way, as if he was afraid she’d disappear if he wasn’t touching her. While they waited for a crosswalk signal at one corner, he pulled her into his side and kissed her again, like she really needed the reminder that he was a good kisser. How could she forget?

“He’s a really good kisser,” she says, suddenly, to Bodhi, as they sit together on the couch.

Bodhi scrunches up his nose, looking disgusted. “Who? Reece?”

“No! I’m talking about Cassian!”

“Oh!” His eyes light up. “I thought you didn’t want to.”

Jyn shrugs, noncommittal. She wants Bodhi’s reassurance that she didn’t fuck things up beyond repair and this is probably the only way to get that. “I’m obviously not going to tell you everything . But we can talk about it, a little. I guess.”

“Okay, but how good is he?”

“Is there an accepted scale I should use?”

“One to ten would suffice, I think. Ten being the best kiss you’ve ever had and one being…well, you already said it was good, so we don’t need to worry about that.”

She exhales noisily, not sure how to describe it. “I don’t know. I can’t even think of the best kiss I ever had.”

“That’s kind of sad.”

She punches him on the shoulder. “I hate you,” she says, petulantly. “It was really, really good. Definitely an 8.5 or a 9. Maybe a 9.5.”

“Really?!”

Jyn nods, feeling awkward. “Yeah. We made out for a really long time before we…well, before anything else happened.”

She doesn’t mention that she’d almost lost her nerve, when they first got back to Cassian’s apartment. Being in his bedroom, the idea of sleeping together suddenly became real and all of her tipsy confidence evaporated. She’d been in a relationship for two years—she’d thought she and Reece would move in together whenever their leases were up, even though she hadn’t had the confidence to bring it up to him before he turned around and left her for another woman—and suddenly she wasn’t ready to be with someone else. Naturally, Cassian had picked up on her change in mood and asked her what was wrong. She lied and said it was nothing, though he hadn’t looked convinced. To prove her point, she’d kissed him again, hard, trying to psych herself up, but he’d eased back, turning their kiss into something easier and softer. He’d kissed her like that for a while, his hands in her hair and on her jaw, not reaching for her clothes or straying anywhere new. It was only after they’d continued like that for a long time that Jyn felt her nerves mellow into pleasure and then sharpen into desire again. Even though they’d kept things fairly chaste, all of that kissing had made her want more, and she clearly had to be the one to take the lead.

“And was he a gentleman with you?” Bodhi asks primly, interrupting Jyn’s thoughts.

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” she says, with a frown.

“Did he…how do I put this…take care of your needs?”

“Oh. Uh, yes.”

“First?” He asks, clearly enjoying himself.

“Yes,” Jyn replies, through gritted teeth. She leaves out the fact that she’d not-so-subtly rushed them past the point of foreplay so Cassian wouldn’t get any ideas. Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part, that he would have even tried something like that with her, that she got in the way of some grand plan of his to gallantly fulfill her needs before worrying about his own, but he had looked surprised when she took them straight from kissing to taking his clothes off to fucking him. Maybe it was a pleasant surprise, maybe he was relieved to find someone who didn’t expect so much effort from him. She didn’t ask. She just knew that she couldn’t handle the idea of it being unequal, of him being smug or, worse, expectant with her. She didn’t want to owe him anything, so they were going to have sex once and then she could move on. Naturally, she hadn’t counted on getting pregnant.

“I told him I was on the pill and I wasn’t,” she blurts out before she can stop herself.

The way Bodhi swings around to stare at her would be funny, under any other circumstances. “Why would you lie about that?” He asks, unable to keep the judgement out of his tone.

“I didn’t lie ,” she says. “I thought I was on the pill! I’ve been taking it for years, so I didn’t think anything of it. I forgot to get my prescription refilled a few months ago and I was like, ‘who cares?’ because Reece and I had just broken up and I was convinced I was never going to have sex again.”

“But then you had sex with Cassian!”

“I know! And I forgot I wasn’t on the pill anymore.”

Bodhi covers his eyes with his hands. “Please tell me you used a condom.”

“Cassian definitely offered,” she says, trying to sound upbeat.

“And you said, ‘yes, of course, because you’re a man I’ve never slept with before and that’s the safest way for us to have sex!’”

“No. I said, ‘it’s fine, don’t worry about it, I’m on the pill.’”

“Jyn!”

“Before you yell at me, I would like to remind you I’m already pregnant, so the worst case scenario has already happened.”

“That’s not the only reason you should use a condom!”

“I know, but I got tested for STDs when I went in for my pregnancy test and nothing has come back positive yet, so hopefully I’m not that unlucky.”

“Listen, I know you’re going through some stuff right now and I don’t want to pile on, but that was really risky,” he says, looking more serious than she’s ever seen him. “You have to promise me that you’ll be more careful.”

“I promise,” she says, feeling like a teenager being chastised. “Believe me, paying out of pocket for an abortion is a pretty great way for me to learn my lesson.”

“God, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s my fault. Like you said, I wasn’t being careful.”

“That wasn’t—I’m not trying to hit your nose with a rolled up newspaper, Jyn. I’m just worried about you.”

“I know. This is why I was embarrassed. I made a complete idiot out of myself. And now I get to explain all of this to Cassian, which won’t be humiliating at all.”

“He’ll understand,” Bodhi says, with enviable levels of confidence. “He’s good like that.”

“I said I’d call him and I didn’t,” she says, trying not to cringe as she remembers how quickly she’d left after they’d had sex, how she hadn’t even looked Cassian in the eye when she promised to call. “Even if he was fine with a one-night stand, I still lied to him. I doubt he’ll be happy to hear from me, especially under the circumstances.”

“If the alternative is not hearing from you at all, I think he’d rather hear from you. No matter what the circumstances are.”

“I don’t know.”

“Jyn, you and Cassian are friends, even if you don’t think you’re particularly close. And you’ve slept together, which involves a certain level of intimacy—”

“Not the way I do it,” she jokes. Although there’s some truth to it, she thinks.

Bodhi smacks her with a pillow, which she completely deserves. “Call him or I’ll kick your ass.”

“God, fine!” She slouches down in her seat on the couch. “Do I have to do it right now?”

“God, no. I don’t want to be here for that conversation,” he says, grabbing another handful of popcorn. “Besides, you promised me a movie night. What are we watching?”

“I don’t care, as long as it doesn’t involve babies or pregnancy.”

Bodhi’s scrolling through the titles on Netflix as she speaks, nodding absentmindedly. “‘Sleepless in Seattle’?” He asks, when he lands on it.

“That totally has a baby in it!”

“The kid is, like, eight,” he argues. “And it’s not about the process of having kids!”

Jyn sighs, defeated. “Do you want to watch ‘Sleepless in Seattle,’ Bodhi?”

“Yes, but I’m mostly in it for Bill Pullman.”

“Fine,” she says, settling in next to him. “I’m probably going to fall asleep in twenty minutes, anyway.”

“That’s the spirit,” Bodhi says, and hits play.

[kinktae]

How dare you bitchin!jungkook ?! HOW DARE YOU ?!

very NOT spoiler free bitchin’ 8 asks under the cut

Y/N SUPPORT GROUP

deliciouslydisturbed365 said: I just read chapter 8 and holy fuck I’m nauseous. Poor Y/N 😭

queen-emon said: What the literal FUCK man, I just read Bitchin 08 and like im so broken. I never ever consider Y/n and I to be the same person but this time I felt like we were the same person both getting our hearts crushed by the man we loved so dearly. I AM NOT OKAY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! THIS IS SO NOT GROOVY :(

Anonymous said: Me🤝y/n Repressing our emotions

madjammil said: I am legit crying. Poor y/n! I cannot believe Jungkook slept with Kiri! My heart is broken. I thought these two were finally getting together and he goes and does this dumb shit! Smh. Aside from that, your writing was amazing as always! I love this series so much!

YARA BULLY JK PETITIONERS

Anonymous said: omg i can’t believe jungkook is rly going to get his dickie chopped off 😍😍😍 deserve! can’t wait until yara finds out

Anonymous said: Ignore jk, y/n!!! Gosh she deserve so much better than a fboi who only cares about how he feels physically!! Ahole to the max and I need her to slap him! Yara can join along the slapping game!! But srsly he needs to learn his words alone can’t mend this and I hope y/n doesn’t give in so easily cuz he deserves cold shoulders from her for a very long time and don’t just rely on charms to get his way. Ik he was trouble from the start 😔 y/n dear don’t worry you deserve better

casualxexistence said: So 👉👈 um like is there like ANy chance that we get to see our baby yara’s reaction to this 🥺🥺🥺👼 bc um well I would kinda love to see her hand both jk and kiri there asses bc they aren’t gonna hAVE ANY AFTER SHE FINISHES WITH THEM RIP

Anonymous said: dude, what if y/n hooks up with tae and starts beef between jk and him while yara bitch slaps kiri….. dude bitchin’ has such good drama theories wtf literally anything is possible at this point

Anonymous said: if yara doesn’t punch kook can I punch him? Not as the oc I meant like me BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK

forvever-ddaeng said: I keep rereading this last part like it’s somehow gonna change or it won’t make me sad the more I read it but it’s having the opposite effect and now I want Yara to beat Jungkook’s ass smh

Anonymous said: WTFFFFFFF YARA GONNA HUNT DOWN AND KICK JUNGKOOK ASS FOR HURTING HER BABY

JUNGKOOK ANTIS:

Anonymous said: what the fuck is wrong with bitchin’!jungkook does he think with his dick i wanna kick his ass

Anonymous said: why jungkook would do something like that if he likes y/n? i would be so mad at him too like… isn’t that kind of cheating? he didn’t say if he was back together with his ex but he slept with her so that must mean something, she probably thinks it means something. he was really stupid 

omgtaehyungsmullett said: i know jungkook fucking with me, dammit 😡

Anonymous said: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT WHY

ausjeons said: Jungkook what the fuck!!! I could slap you silly after reading part 8 😪😩

Anonymous said: Team make jk suffer for awhile and then be able to patch things up with the oc 🤝

Anonymous said: I read ch8 last night and this weighed heavily on my mind all day like why is jk such a hoe? Like how could he just sleep with Kiri just like that. I think these children are very confuzzled with their feelings. After he slept with Kiri, did he rush to y/n bc he knew this was the end of their “relationship”? One last passionate banger goodbye 😟 my 💔 broken heart

Anonymous said: I ain’t even sad. I’m full on rage mode. WHO TF GAVE JK THE AUDACITY , THE ABSOLUTE BRAWN TO STICK HIS DICK IN KIRI AND THEN , NOT EVEN A FULL DAY LATER ( cuz yk that would be farrr too gracious ) WITHOUT A WARNING , WITHOUT A FRICKING GOOD MORNING EVEN , GOES TO FUCK OC AND THINKS THAT’S OKAY???? Good to know OC and whatever his relationship was with her was worth less than a nut😒

Anonymous said: i’m actually sad… like wow. i really expected him to go back, i really did. but even though i knew it’d happen, it still hurt, y’know? i think that made it worse; knowing that he’d go back to her in the end… shit’s fucked up, really. great job writing it. i could literally feel the emotion from this one.

Anonymous said: Bitchin ch 8…..oh wow the smut was so nice and fluffy but wtf JJK messed up big time. Honestly I don’t think he deserves oc after this. She deserves someone who isn’t so unsure of his feelings that it takes getting back together with and sleeping with someone else to realise it. If he really liked her, he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri.

Anonymous said: “ArE YOu MAd?” Srsly what brand of clown juice is Bitchin JJK drinking?

Anonymous said: TAE AND Y/N HOES BRO ENTER THE NEW SHIP FUCK JK

cchristinnaa said: Jk really did yn like a pocket pussy huh

Anonymous said: HOW COULD JUNGKOOK OH MY GOOODDDDDDDDDDD literally men aint SHIT….. the part where y/n said you got what you wanted from me🥺🥺🥺🥺 I FELT THAT ugh i love the angst

Anonymous said: Hope jk dieS from jealousy next ch. And regrets it skdhdhd :( jk. Hope they get their sht 2gether soon or im gon 😷😖😭

diortae said: me: *explaining to bitchin 8 jk why he’s a dick for calling Y/N his “pretty girl” immediately after fucking her raw the morning after he slept with his ex* 

jk: well, you know what they say. hindsight is 20/20 

me: KINDA SEEMS LIKE REGULAR SIGHT SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT ONE

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS ABOUT TO MEET THESE FISTS UP CLOSE THATS ON GOD THAT DUMBASS LIMP DICK BITCH REALLY FUCKED UP

Anonymous said: I HATE JJK HES AN ASS FOR GG DOWN ON 2WOMEN HE CAN JUS F HIMSELF RN

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS GONNA GET HIS ASS BEATEN UGHSHHSKDHXJSJ MOTHERFUCKER WHAT? WHAT??? THIS BITCH IS A RIDE OR DIE AND UR GOING AFTER FAKEASS KIRI REALLY? FOR REAL I THOUGHT UOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS BUT NO ALL MEN DO IS LIE LIE LIE

Anonymous said: the way i closed the tumblr app when i saw jungkook saying “kiri came over last night”

Anonymous said: alright we beating jk’s ass @ noon 😤

Anonymous said: WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT TO OC LIKE WHAT I AGREE WITH OC HE USED HER AND THAT MAKES ME 😡😡😡😡😡

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 8 WTFGGGG MY HEART Do be Hurting . i’m going to beat jungkook up !!!!

betysotelo18 said: It’s been a few minutes since I read part 8 and I can’t stop thinking about what could happen next… the meanwhile F U jeon Jungkook, you did wrong

Anonymous said: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I CANT 😭 WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS CHAPTER HUUUU JUNGKOOK WTFF BRO…….. my heart is breaking for them. Why can’t they just date already wkxbdbbdjdjdjdjdjdj this is onky misunderstanding right? and thankyou for the new chapter sis hihuhihih💕💕

Anonymous said: im shocked i dunno who i hate more rn you or jungkook. my heart is literally SHATTERED he better fix this or else im traveling to the 80s just to kick his ass 😭🤬

Anonymous said: never want to punch jungkook in the face like i wanna do right now

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK 🤬 for the love of god rose why do u did that to me i wanna die

Anonymous said: ROSE WTF WAS THAT MAN !!! my heart it hurts and like wtf jungpuke!! Why would he do that to reader !! why would he sleep with kiri and then sleep with reader ?!? Like go siekkeksjdjejjejdbehhe i wish i can put in reaction pictures in here

CUTIE PIES

Anonymous said: Omggg thank you so so much for this chapter, for the whole fic. Thank you for sharing it with us. You are a great writter. Seriously! I just love how every chapter is so intense. Not only the smut is amazing but every detail, every action, the whole plot, all of the dialogues. I actually cried at the end I love how I can really feel everything. All the emotions. Ah and they’re so cute!!! But why was JK so weak? Even if that’s what you wanted since the beginning… I thought- BOY WTF??? :’( But seriously this is the type of thing I love, I am WEAK for this. The slow burn, the oblivious idiots that love each other but keep suffering thing. And you write it so well. Your mind!!! Your talent!!! I love it. Thank you, for real ♥♥♥ I’m antecipating the next chapter, but already sad that it’s almost ending :((( I’m gonna miss this a lot. Anyways, take your time, baby. And have a nice day! ♥♥♥ (Sorry for bad english btw)

tinievmin said: ROSE. IM IN PAIN. I FELT THE BREAKUP BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK. IM SO SADDD. But not related to the plot, your writing is ART. You always make it flow so well aND WOW!!! I don’t have enough words to express how much I love your works

AND FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL

Anonymous said: kiri is a bitch i said what i said

[honeyvoicehwang]

Stupid

pairing: famous!jisung/non famous!minho, famous!jisung/famous!changbin

ship: minsung, changsung

genre: ANGST, sad, bitter

plot: jisung and minho broke up and minho isn’t over it yet.  based on the song Stupid by Brendan Maclean

word count: 4,964

warnings: implied/referenced alcohol abuse, lots of crying, insults, language

also posted on my ao3, InsecurelyPerfect (link in bio)

He slams the glass down on the wooden counter top.  The beat pumps through his ears.  It makes him shudder.  Coming here was a mistake, he thinks.  He knew what he would see, yet he still came, and he's never regretted it more.

It’s been five months since Han Jisung tore the heart out of Lee Minho and stomped on it in front of Jisung's friends, and Minho (apparently) still isn't over the breakup.  It has been the worst breakup he's ever experienced in his life.

"If you weren't so stupid, I could have loved you..."

Jisung didn't like to admit defeat.  It was one of the things that made Minho fall head over heels in love with the younger boy.  The way he got so into it when he played video games or how competitive he got when they were racing or biking or working out together.  He loved the way that Jisung got so into the music he was writing or producing or performing.  Hell, it was how he'd met the boy.

One of Minho's friends was good friends with some guy in an underground rap group called 3Sauce or something?  (Later he learned it was 3RACHA.)  He didn't really want to go, but he promised the friend he wouldn't make him go alone.

He wasn't really into any of the acts, but when Seungmin's friend's group got on the stage, Seungmin nearly ripped his arm off, screaming bloody murder about how that was his friend up there on the stage.

Minho rolled his eyes at first, it was just a rap group.  He didn't really see the appeal.

That was until the youngest of the three started jumping about, his eyes lit so brightly that Minho could see it from where he was standing fifteen feet away.  His light brown hair moving perfectly as he jumped and crouched, spitting raps faster than he'd ever heard (until he heard Changbin, but that was a different story), changing the flow every so often.

It was then that Minho knew he was fucked.

As soon as he wanted to learn his name, his personality, his favorite food, color, scent, he knew it was all over.  He practically had to grovel at Seungmin's feet to get him to take Minho backstage to meet them.  "I thought you said this was stupid?" he teased.  "I wonder what changed your mind."

It was all too obvious that he knew what changed Minho's mind and it was just an attempt to get him to admit it, but he wasn't sure that it would work.  No way it would.  And it didn't, but Seungmin did eventually agree to take him backstage.

Minho could barely contain his excitement when he saw the soft, doe-eyed boy staring at him and smiling while Seungmin talked to Chan and Changbin.

Jisung.  His name was Jisung.

"And if you weren't so stupid, but you're pretty stupid..."

Getting to know Jisung felt like it could have been an Olympic sport in and of itself.  He had so much energy and the ability to be really loud and it honestly kind of scared Minho a little bit.

But seeing Jisung hyper also meant that he was comfortable with Minho, and that was all he'd wanted.  The boy was so much more chaotic and a little stupider than he could have realized, but the way he rapped... he was just so passionate and that was what had drawn Minho in, to begin with.

He didn't mind putting up with Jisung's stupid questions or random thoughts at four in the morning when he couldn't focus on the rap he was trying to write at that given moment.

It all just made Jisung that much more endearing to Minho.

It was around then that he felt himself falling harder.

"And if you weren't so busy, I could have loved you..."

Minho had known it would be hard.  

Jisung was going on tour soon, after all.  He would be traveling, leaving Minho alone in Korea, different time zones, and performing.  He would be pouring all of his energy into the concerts and shows, he wouldn't always see Minho's texts.

Minho knew that.  He tried to reason with himself that it was what Jisung loved to do so he should be supportive, and he really wanted to be, but he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit upset when the texts got slower and slower.

It started with them texting all plane ride, to hours between poorly timed texts, to missed good night messages with a kissy face in the morning, to missed morning texts as well, to broken FaceTime promises, to not talking for two weeks.  Minho would be lying if he said it didn't crush his soul a little bit every time Jisung didn't even read one of his messages.  He tried to tell himself that Jisung was busy doing what he loved, but that didn't make it easier.

Especially since their relationship was so new.  They'd known each other for several months, and Jisung had asked Minho to be his boyfriend one drunken night during karaoke three weeks before he left for tour.

They'd talked about it the following morning.  After three hours of soft kisses and tears, they'd agree that they would both try their hardest and knew that it would be a strain.  In the end, Minho agreed, just to kiss his boyfriend once more before pulling him back down to cuddle.

It was hard to keep away the thoughts telling himself that if he'd just waited it would have been easier for both of them.  He couldn't do that.  It wasn't fair.  Not to Jisung, not to himself.

He felt like a jerk.

Minho threw his phone on his bed, rubbing his face with exhaustion.

"But you work in an office... and you've got other offers..."

His jealousy wasn't valid.  It was misplaced and he just missed Jisung.  He wanted to be the first person that Jisung had wanted to see when they got back, but the next day, he was already back in the studio, texting Minho videos of him and Changbin goofing off together.

He tried to push it away, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was persistent, refusing to give way, only showing that it was going to get worse.

having fun? he'd asked, hoping that he didn't sound too bitter through his text.

Jisung didn't respond until three hours later, which ended up just being a Snapchat that Chan had sent of Changbin pretending to ask Jisung out and the two of them doing some sort of star crossed lovers skit.

looks like fun...

No response.  The jealousy got worse.

Their relationship was so new, barely had its training wheels, yet it was already starting to fall apart, and there was nothing that Minho could do.  He had no right to feel the way he did.

Jisung had been friends with them for much longer than he'd known Minho.  He was allowed to joke around with his friends.

But Minho couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was a joke that wasn't entirely mutual.

"Tell me what is his name now, what is his name?"

His eyes slide over to the stage, where he can see Changbin spitting rap into Jisung's face, and though the rap sounds intense -- he wasn't listening to the lyrics -- Jisung had a stupid grin on his face, looking entirely unbothered.  

Minho groans, allowing his head to fall onto the countertop, trying to avoid the sticky puddle of alcohol next to him.  If he were, to be honest, he would admit that he feels just as stupid as the shit Jisung would text him when he missed him for not being more worried about Changbin when Jisung started pulling away.

He wonders why he didn't worry more, and if he had, would anything be different?  Or would he just have lost Jisung sooner?

He looks away, unable to think about Jisung smiling at Changbin how he used to smile at Minho.  

"I'm excited to hear the news.  Tell me what is his name now, but what does that say about you?"

All he can bring himself to do is to pretend.  Act like then when Seungmin drags him to Chan's house the following night that he's happy for Jisung and Changbin when they announce their relationship.

A jealous fire burns the lining of his stomach.  Where did I go wrong?

Despite everything that's happened, Minho still can't help but blame himself for everything that went wrong.  He knows deep down that it was a mix of the two of them, Jisung not putting in the effort and Minho's jealousy, but he still can't shake the guilt that he was mostly the reason they split.

Minho sips the beer Seungmin passed him fervently, barely giving anyone else a second look.  He focuses his gaze on a spot in the corner of the room, unable to do anything without getting irrationally angry.

The most he can do is half-ass a smile when anyone tries to get his attention and nod once before returning to his zombie-like state.

"But let's not be friends, or else this will never end..."

No matter how hard Minho tries not to think about that night, he still ends up curling against the extra pillow he never got rid of, pretending he was smelling Jisung's freshly shampooed hair, rather than a pillow he'd never bothered to wash.  It was a miracle that his tears hadn't washed the scent of his ex-boyfriend away yet.

Jisung stood in front of him, shoes pointed to where they were facing each other, something they never did unless he was nervous.  Minho wondered what could be bothering him so much.

There wasn't much that could ever get to Jisung, at least, not that he let show, but they'd been together for four years.  Whether he liked it or not, Minho knew all of Jisung's tells.

"Baby," Minho said quietly, reaching his hand out to run it down Jisung's arm lovingly.  "What's wrong?"

Jisung gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing, tears pooling in his eyes.  "Uh, I, um," he choked as a sob escaped his mouth, "I think - I think we should, uh, maybe take a break?"

That was the last thing that Minho had ever wanted to hear from the one person that he loved more than his childhood pets.  He felt his breath catch in his throat.  No, this can't be happening.  NO, NO, NO, I am not losing him, no, this is just a dream.

"M-Minho?"

Minho refocused his gaze on Jisung.  "W-what?"

Jisung pulled out of Minho's touch.  Minho felt his fingers grow cold.  "I don't--I don't know.  I just... need some time..."

"Was it..." Minho licked his lips, "was it something I did?"

Jisung's eyes widened.  "No, I just... everything's getting to be really hard for me and I just kind of need to take some time away from everything... in-including you," he mumbled.  He looked back up at Minho.  "We... we can still be friends?"

Minho smiles tight-lipped and tries not to cry.  He should have pushed Jisung's hand away, told him that he didn't want to, that he didn't think it would be a good idea.  

Instead, he extended his hand and quietly said, "sure."

"Let's not be friends.  For sure, for sure..."

Time was supposed to heal all wounds, right?  That was the saying?

For Minho, it seemed to be more that it was making everything worse.  Seeing Jisung slowly get closer and closer to Changbin from afar, while he wasn't allowed to hold his hand or press a gentle kiss on his cheek and remind everyone that he was Minho's.  Couldn't protect him or listen to his heartbeat to fall asleep anymore and it just about tore Minho in half.

That feeling never went away.  Six months later and he sees Jisung and Changbin sneaking kisses behind the stage, out of sight of everyone who doesn't know that you can see them from the right angle.

He shakes his head.  He's supposed to be supporting them.  He and Jisung are still friends, after all, he thinks mockingly.  Friends.  That word taunts him.  Puts up a barrier between him and the love of his life.  

He watches them exchange one more kiss before coming out and leaves the bar before any of them catch a glimpse of Minho in the audience.

"And if you weren't so ugly, I could have loved you.  It's something I tell myself when I'm down, to get high..."

Jisung had been the most beautiful person Minho had ever seen, he still is.  Now that he sees that smile lighting up his face every time he looks at Changbin, and Minho's heart leaps into his throat.

He tries telling himself that Jisung looks like a squirrel.  A dirty squirrel, one roaming through the streets that probably had, like, diseases or some shit.  Just... fucking anything that he could say to himself to not want to kiss Jisung's full cheeks.

But even that didn't work.  No matter how much he tried to think of Jisung as the vilest person he'd ever seen, he always ended up thinking Jisung looked like an angel, and, well, it's because he is one.

It only complicated things every other day.  

hey, it's been a while, his text read.  can we meet up?

Minho ponders what Jisung could possibly want to talk to him about, but he thinks of seeing Jisung again and quickly agrees.

The wind whips around him as he waits in the park for Jisung to show up.  As soon as his eyes land on the boy, he smiles instinctively.  He has to bite his tongue so he doesn't say "I love you."

The smile fades when he sees the serious look on Jisung's face.  He gulps, balling his fists to keep himself from hugging Jisung.  "What, uh, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Jisung shakes his head.  "Look, Min, I know that we had a pretty rough break up, but you need to move on.  I don't see it, but Changbin's told me that he's uncomfortable with how you're looking at me and wants you to stop."

It’s then that Minho looks over to the parking lot and sees Changbin sitting in the car, playing on his phone, looking up occasionally.  When the two of them make eye contact, Minho turns his attention back to Jisung.

"I see."  His voice is ice cold and rigid.  It's a tone he never used with Jisung.  Only the boys that would try to flirt with him after 3RACHA's sets.

He sees the shift in Jisung's eyes as the tone of voice sinks into his brain regurgitating memories he's kept buried for so long.

Then, something snaps inside of him, and the words come tumbling out in an angry rage before he has time to even think about what they are.  "You know, I'm not looking at you because I still love you, Sung.  Get over yourself.  I'm looking at you and wondering how I ever thought someone as ugly as you was beautiful."  He pants as the words finish, his chest heaving heavily and his heart aching.

Jisung's attention is immediately shifted towards the ground.  "I think we're done here," he says in a rush, turning away from Minho, but not before Minho watched a tear roll down Jisung's perfectly tanned cheek.

As he watches Jisung walk away, he can't move.  His body is frozen in place, but he wants nothing more than to chase after Jisung.

No, stop, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry.

But he's stiff.  And Jisung walks back to the car with Changbin already starting the engine.  And they tear away, leaving Minho crumbling to the ground, wondering what the fuck just happened.

"If you'd made me a coffee, I could have loved you.  And I'd make you hot chocolate, and anything you could have wanted..."

Jisung was the best boyfriend Minho had ever had.  They got along so well and Jisung was always doing everything that he could for Minho, without him even asking.

That's why Minho firmly believes that it's his fault they didn't last.  He curls up against Jisung's pillow as the show he's watching plays indistinctively in the background.  The only light came from the screen of his laptop.  The couple in the show do everything for each other, no matter how small and Minho's mind wanders.

He thinks back to the time that Jisung asked him to grab a cup of coffee for him on his way to the studio.  Minho had meant to, he really had, but he had gotten too distracted, thinking about giving Jisung the biggest hug that he forgot to stop by the coffee shop.

He tries to pinpoint the moment that things started to go wrong.  If he can tell when Jisung started pulling back and stopped texting him so much.  He tries to imagine the scenario where he does bring Jisung the coffee and he sees Jisung's eyes light up as he regains the energy he lost from traveling.

He wishes he could turn back the clock and just get that fucking coffee for Jisung.  He wants to do anything he can.  Everything he never did.  Everything he never got the chance to do, and now never will.

He curls into the pillow more, hugging it tighter as tears begin to flow down his cheeks, blurring his vision and soaking the pillow.

Minho stops crying almost abruptly as it had started and sits up.  He looks around the room briefly before going to get a glass of soju.  He needs it.  Something.  Anything to take his mind off of the mind-numbing what-if scenarios and all the things he would have done differently if he could.  He can't change anything now, so what was the point in thinking about it?

“Tell me who is invited, so fuckin’ delighted to see all the boys you see…”

At the same time that Minho wishes he would stop getting Chan’s invites to hang out after 3RACHA’s sets, he knows that if they really stopped coming, he would have a mental breakdown.  

He arrives, already dreading being around the couple.  He looks around for anyone that he can take into another room and make out with for a bit.  Woojin, Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin.  No, no, no, no. no, no.  He doesn’t know any of them aside from Chan and Seungmin well.  Just that Chan hangs out with everyone there as often as he can, meaning Jisung also saw them a lot, too.

He wonders why, why out of all of the people knew, why it had to be Changbin.

Minho grabs a second beer, which quickly becomes a third, fourth, fifth.  Soon enough Seungmin has Minho flung over his shoulder, shouting an apology to everyone and places Minho in the passengers' seat, grumbling about how he needs to stop coming if he’s just going to get blackout drunk, knowing Minho won’t remember his lecture in the morning.

Minho wakes up the next morning to a post-it note on his bedside table.

Stop coming, you know you don’t want to see them together.

Asprin’s in the kitchen.

x - seungmin

“Tell me why I don’t fight it, what does that say about me?”

Minho wakes up the following morning to weight at the edge of his bed.  He lifts his head slightly.  Seungmin.

Seungmin is sitting on Minho’s bed, running his hands through Minho’s hair.  

“Min, what are you doing?”  Minho’s voice is loud and gravelly as he pushes his throat against his pillow.  He tries to twist his body to get a better glimpse of Seungmin, but the way Seungmin’s sitting made it difficult for him to do so.

Seungmin continues running his hand through Minho’s hair.  “Hyung, I know that you and Jisung hyung had a pretty rough break up, but you need to do what's best for you.”

Minho tries to twist again.  Seungmin sits up a little more so that Minho could actually turn around.  When Minho is situated and comfortable again, Seungmin goes back to stroking his hair.  “I don’t know what you mean, I am doing what’s best for me.”

Seungmin shakes his head.  “No, hyung, you’re not.  If you really were, you would have stopped talking to Jisung hyung back when you knew that it was still hurting you.  I can see that you seeing him with Changbin hyung hurts you.  So, please, just do what’s best for you.”

Seungmin’s words ring through Minho’s entire body, stirring an emotion that Minho can’t quite distinguish within his mind.  All he really knows is that he’s left with a strong desire to text Jisung.

“And let’s not be friends, otherwise this’ll never end…”

jisung, please.  we need to talk about this.

Minho slams his phone on the counter, shattering the screen.  He curses himself.

His feet start moving before he knows what he’s really doing.  His body moves without control, almost as if it was on autopilot, and had done this hundreds of times before.

He stops in front of the all too familiar white cabinets.  He knows what’s behind them even before the scent reaches his nose.  It’s pungent, too hard to ignore, to pretend.  Minho doesn’t try to stop himself even after the cabinet door is open and he’s faced with sticky glass necks and fallen bottles and begins sipping from the bottle, not even bothering to get a glass to drink from.

It burned as it slipped down his throat.

“Let’s not be friends, for sure, for sure…”

minho... i dont think this is such a good idea…

Minho feels his breath catch in his throat.  His eyes burn.  He doesn’t even know what time it is and he can’t be bothered to look up and figure it out.

He knows it’s way past midnight, and why Jisung would be texting him this late, he doesn’t even want to think about it.  What Jisung got done doing, what he was thinking about.  It’s too much for Minho to handle.  

He pulls his knees to his chest, trying to calm the buzzing in his head, the alcohol finally kicking in.  This couldn’t have been a worse time for this to happen.

Minho isn’t exactly known for making the best decisions while drunk and certainly has a habit of texting the wrong people; Jisung being one of them.

He chokes back a sob as his vision blurs over and his shaking fingers hover over the keys.

yeah, youre right, my bad.

sorry to have bothered you.  have a good night.

“We’d adopt… we’d adopt…”

If Minho really thinks about it, he can see the probability of Jisung and him getting married was pretty low, but it didn’t stop Minho from imagining the two of them living together and adopting some pets.

It was something Jisung always used to talk about with such a fondness in his voice, lights sparkling in his eyes, his entire demeanor changing with just a few words.  According to him, Jisung had never gotten the chance to grow up with pets around, but he’d always wanted a dog.

Minho was a cat person and had three back at home with his parents, but he figured that he could make that sacrifice for the guy he was kinda falling in love with.

If it meant that he would get to see Jisung’s smile that took up his entire face and showed off all of his teeth, then Minho would give anything to see that.

That night, he had started looking at adoption agencies that had rescues.

“I’d have all the things he’s got, but I’m not.  So let’s stop.  Pretend that there’ll be a happy end…”

It has been ten months since Minho received the worst text he’d ever gotten.

Since then, he’s stopped going to Chan’s after-parties, however, he still can’t seem to stop himself from going to the bars where they perform.  He watched Jisung and Changbin get close.  He sees how they kiss when they think no one can see them because he knows where to look.

At this point, Seungmin’s hand on Minho’s shoulder has become somewhat of a coping mechanism for him.  It was comforting for Minho to know that his friend is always right there beside him as he lets it all go.

“You know you shouldn’t be here,” he says, his voice non-confrontational.  He never is.

It’s too much to know that Jisung has moved on, leaving Minho alone, on read, and defending his broken heart.

Minho bites his tongue and knocks another glass of vodka back, tears brimming his eyes as his mind goes fuzzy.

“Let’s not be friends, for sure (for sure)...”

It’s about two months after the last bar incident that Chan sends another invite to Minho.  This time, it’s worded differently.  Like there’ll be more than just the usual nine of them.  Maybe it’ll give Minho more of a way to avoid Jisung?

He toys with his bottom lip between his teeth, sliding his hands over the paper invitation gently, almost as though it could explode if he touched it wrong.  He can’t help but take a second and chuckle to himself.  Chan was always so formal, sending out paper in a time of technology where texts are almost faster than light.

He reads the invitation carefully.  Eyes sliding over every letter with intent, not wanting to misunderstand anything or read too deep, even though he knows that’s already what he was doing.

House warming.  Eight pm.  Bring food.  A new address.

That definitely seems like he’ll be able to avoid Jisung.  Minho’s finally been doing well and starting to move on for himself.

“We’d adopt, we’d have dogs…”

“Just-- keep your eyes closed.  I promise you won’t regret it, okay?” Minho laughed, shoving the blindfold into Jisung’s hands.  The car was cold, yet warming up, but it would go a whole lot faster if Jisung would just listen to him.

“And how do I know that you aren’t going to kidnap me or bring me to a secondary location?” the younger retorted.

Minho rolled his eyes, “You’ve been watching way too much John Mulaney lately.  I swear, I’m going to kill Chan for insisting you improve your English.  Now you’re just going to talk to me in John Mulaney quotes and I’m not going to understand anything.”

“Honestly, that kind of seems like a you problem, Hyung,” Jisung said, his signature heart smile plastered all over his face and even Minho’s mind.  Minho lightly shoved his shoulder and Jisung finally obliged, putting the blindfold on sloppily.  “You really aren’t going to tell me where we’re going are you?”

“Nope,” Minho said, putting the car in gear.

“You’re annoying.”

Minho just hummed, turning the music louder, attempting to cover the sounds of the tires on the gravel road to the rescue shelter.  When he finally put the car in park, he turned toward Jisung, who was sat beside him, clueless as ever.

“Okay, you can take the blindfold off now.”

He watched with intent as the blindfold slipped off of Jisung’s eyes and how his face lit up and he couldn’t sit still, bursting when he realized where they were.

“Oh, my God!  Are you serious?”  Jisung whipped around to face Minho, eyes searching for a hint of a bluff in his boyfriend’s face.  To his surprise, there was none.

Minho reached for his smaller hand.  “I mean, we live together and you’ve been talking about it forever, I don’t see why we shouldn’t.  But I didn’t want to just do it without you, so I figured I’d bring you along and you get to choose the dog you connect with the most.”

Jisung flung himself into Minho’s arms, latching his arms around Minho’s neck, pressing furious kisses wherever he could reach.  “Lee Minho, you are the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for.”

“I’d have all the things he’s got, but I’m not.”

Minho squeezes the soju glass in his hand, nearly hard enough to smash, riddled with anxiety and panic as his eyes frantically scan the yard for Chan’s other two members.

He promised Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Chan that he’d be good and not intentionally get into any trouble, and he plans on abiding by that.  He wants the Jisung chapter of his life to finally close, be over with, something he can think of fondly and not remember the sleepless nights, drunk nights, or sad nights.

And.. maybe... Just maybe if he can prove to Jisung that he’s worth it, they can have another go at them together?

He can show Jisung that he has everything Changbin has and so much more.  That he can do everything that Changbin can do, so why not be with Minho?

He is just about to get up from his spot against the fence and find Jisung, soju in hand, when Jisung walks out of the house, laughing at something.

Speak of the devil, he thinks, almost bitterly.  Now’s my chance, when Changbin isn’t around.  Except, he spoke too soon because immediately following Jisung is Changbin.  

They’re holding hands and Minho is close enough to catch a glimpse of something shiny on Jisung’s hand.

I’ve got everything he has… except for you…

Minho sets his drink on the nearest table and ducks behind some people he’s never seen before, making a quick exit without saying goodbye to anyone.

He’s just about to leave when he turns around and sees Changbin pulling Jisung in for a passionate kiss.

Minho turns away, a tear rolling down his cheek, and not looking back as he walks away from Chan’s house.

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - You’re a Monster! [PART 2]

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be a one-shot but it turned into a series. Woops! Also, I’m sorry if there are typos! Warnings: vulgar language, mentions of death, angst, mentions of sex Word Count: 3,1K Summary: Loki broke his heart to save you from himself after he was prisoned for life. You believe he never loved you and he believes you’ve moved on. Five years later, you meet at Sakaar again and his fate is in your hands. Somehow, you’re supposed to work together in order to save Asgard, which is easier said than done. You left things messy and you know exactly how to push each other’s buttons.

[PART 1] 

Third POV

It was the second time within a few years that the Asgardians thought Loki, the often forgotten about son of Odin, God of Mischief, was believed to be dead. The truth was, he was posing as Odin. Frankly, Odin had been a mess after Frigga’s passing and Thor was out of the picture. Loki saw that as his chance to rule Asgard, make the people thrive for once. But he also used the position for good, diving deep into things Odin or Thor never could.

Little did anyone know he had a plan. During his time as Asgard’s king, Loki attempted to find out as much as possible about Thanos and his evil plans. He knew the location of three infinity stones, and he wanted to keep them away from the mad titan. Now that Loki was ‘dead’, he could live a little easier. No one was after him. There was only one thing that bothered him, tearing his mind to shreds. And no, it wasn’t the prophecy of Ragnarok he had been hearing about, had nightmares about too.

It was Y/N.

Just the memory of her made his heart ache. No matter how many times he told himself he did the right thing, he knew he was lying to himself. He had somehow hoped that he could see her again. Maybe not as himself but just to spot her. He wanted to see the woman, know that she was well, at least healthy. But that didn’t happen. Months passed and no one had seen her after their breakup. Loki had found out that Y/N had left her engagement ring in their old chambers. She had taken a bag worth of personal belongings, attended Frigga’s funeral, stolen weapons and then disappeared. He never found the book she had made for him. She was gone and it broke Loki’s heart because he knew it was his fault.

Posing as Odin, Loki had tried to question Heimdall about her whereabouts but of course he saw threw the magic. Tragic, really. Loki understood that Heimdall was a threat to his plans – but he was also wise, so after some very messy mutual disagreement and mild agreement, Heimdall ‘disappeared’.

It was just Loki alone for the next few years, wondering if Y/N was even alive. Deep in his heart, he could almost feel that hers was beating somewhere out there.

                     Unbeknownst to anyone, Y/N was putting her nose deep in the same waters as Loki. She hadn’t believed that Loki never loved her. No, it just didn’t make sense in her head, so she had decided to search for answers. After thinking about old conversations with Loki, reading books, contacting creatures from beyond the nine realms, she got on the right path. She learned about Thanos and the so-called infinity stones. Even Thor knew about them, which was great. Somehow, she managed to make Thor keep it a secret that she was travelling with him.

A few years passed and Thor left, following a hunch that had something to do with Sultur. Y/N didn’t go, because she had more important things to do. Besides, she knew Thor would be returning to Asgard and she had sworn not to return ever again. It hurt too much.

Once she was alone, flying through space in a ship she ‘borrowed’, she found herself thinking about Loki. That asshole, she thought but couldn’t find the truth behind those words. After everything she had learned, she was sure he had loved her to some extent. It didn’t mean that what had happened before he died didn’t put her in agony. Their last conversation broke her heart and it would haunt her forever. Thanks to the massive pain that had followed and the torturous truth of what had happened to Loki before, Y/N put up a hard and cold exterior. She had changed, to say at least.

Shamelessly, Y/N had gone as far as sleeping with strangers to lure secrets out of their lips. Some dumb Kree had told Y/N about the elders of the universe, a tale as old as time. Apparently, they were the original bearers of the stones and one of them, the Grandmaster, just happened to have an address, a dumpster realm known as Sakaar. That’s where Y/N went, not really knowing what to expect -except answers.

She landed in the middle of trash, literally, and some funky looking creatures tried to capture her. Y/N had killed them all before they could really bat an eye. She left behind a pile of their bodies but before she could leave, someone else wanted to have a word with her. Y/N had watched as a beautiful woman walked out of her ship with a bottle in her hands. Beautiful leather outfit, black hair which Y/N liked. She was hot, but Y/N knew she could be dangerous.

“You’re coming with me, ‘right?” The woman asked but it sounded like she also answered for her.

Y/N already thought of some magic tricks that were nifty for self-defence, just in case it got to that point. “Are you trying to eat me as well?” Y/N wondered, glancing at the scavengers she had killed. The woman looked at the pile and raised her eyebrows.

“I’m impressed, but no, I won’t eat you. I’m looking for…a fighter, you seem eligible.”

Y/N was honoured but it didn’t mean she’d volunteer as a puppet for whatever fight they needed a fighter for. “Can I thank you no? I’m here to meet someone called the Grandmaster.”

“Ah! I could take you to him.” The woman suggested almost casually.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Y/N still didn’t trust her. So, she walked closer to her, noticing the white paint on her skin, creating a beautiful contrast. “You lead the way; I can follow you with my ship.”

Before Y/N could hardly finish her sentence, she noticed that the woman grabbed something small, probably a weapon. Y/N was quick to grab her dagger and point it at the woman. “Look, you’re pretty and I don’t want to fight-“

“You think I’m pretty?” She smirked, almost cockily, although Y/N had a dagger pointed at her. “Isn’t that sweet of you!”. Although Y/N felt like she should be annoyed, she found herself liking this woman. There was something about her.

“Lead the way, okay? I’m busy and I don’t want to play your stupid game.”

The woman rolled her eyes and put the little weapon back into her purse. “Fine. If you wish to go to him voluntarily, I won’t stop you. Let’s go!”

And just like that, Y/N was led to the Grandmaster by the woman who she learned went by the name Scrapper 142. Y/N decided that she liked her, although she was probably dangerous and plotting a trap for her. Good luck, Y/N thought, she had been with Loki long enough to avoid basic traps. The effort was cute. But then the memory of the Trickster god stabbed her heart and she remembered what she was here for, the infinity stones.

“Oh, you found a pretty one! You never cease to impress me!” The old man smiled happily once he laid his dark eyes on Y/N. He had a blue stripe on his lip and a very sparkly, golden robe. He definitely stood out, even on this planet where no one seemed to know of dark clothes.

Y/N ignored his low-key compliment and she tried to get straight to the point. “Are you the Grandmaster I’ve heard so much about?” Y/N put on a fake but very sweet smile, attempting to flatter the man who seemed to enjoy it. She learned quickly that this Grandmaster was like a powerful dog that had to be fed with compliments – that way they could become friends. Manipulating him shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Well she was both right and wrong. She didn’t end up being a fighter, instead, she got into his inner circle with her charming act and she picked up clues piece by piece. Y/N had to admit the parties could get extreme and waking up in stranger’s beds wasn’t ideal, but she genuinely had fun for once. Perhaps blowing off some steam by partying and mingling couldn’t hurt too much. After all, Y/N had spent the last five years in her shell, surrounded by hate, anger and misery.

Weeks passed by quickly, very quickly on Scrapper 142’s couch. Her actual name was Brunnhilde, she was a Valkyrie. Y/N and Brunnhilde were wasted one night and Y/N saw her tattoo. Sure, there wasn’t much they could hide when they were both naked. Against all odds, they became friends and it was very beneficial to Y/N who never forgot about her plan.

All was well until someone else from Asgard ended up on Sakaar.

Y/N had picked up Brunnhilde’s ways of Scrapping to earn some credits while staying on Sakaar. It was a usual day when she saw something entering Sakaar’s atmosphere and fast. It’s like a bolt of green lightning struck the trash land. Y/N had to check it out.

Her ship landed on the ground only minutes after she saw the green object, or person, she had no idea. No one else had arrived yet which was perfect, she could take her time. Y/N grabbed a weapon that shot out obedience disks. She only needed that and her magic as she walked outside. As usual, there was a horrible stank outside. Space junk and bodies were rotting all around them. Y/N saw a body on the ground, back faced towards her. Once she saw long, black locks and an emerald green cape, she almost turned away and left. That’s when she took a deep breath and reminded herself that Loki was dead. It couldn’t possibly be him, right?

But the closer she got, the more she saw. And sure as hell, it was him. She could recognize his face from thousands of miles away. Seeing him on the ground, completely helpless, covered in small cuts and fresh bruises was almost too much for her. For a moment, she could only stare at him in utter disbelief and shock. The heartache from half a decade ago was returning and it hurt just as much, but she’d be damned to show it.

Whatever the story was behind it, she had to know. But he was unconscious and other Scrappers would love to find him. Biting her teeth together and swallowing her tears, she dragged his weak body into her ship. His scent emerged into her nostrils and reminded her of so many shared nights.

“Get yourself together!” Y/N growled at herself and dumped Loki’s body on the floor of the ship. Perhaps it was a bit harsh, but she didn’t want to hold onto him longer than needed. She didn’t want to soften up for him after what he did.

She locked the entrance to the ship and sat down, resting her head against her hands as she attempted to think. She had no idea how he was alive, what she would do to him or if he was going to hurt her even more. After pondering for a while and feeling how her shock just increased, she had to get answers. Y/N stood up and walked to Loki who was still on the ground. He looked terrified even though he was passed out. It’s like shock was imprinted on his resting face. Y/N wondered what he saw before ending up on Sakaar. Could it be Thanos?

Y/N groaned and pushed those thoughts away. The only right answers would come from him. So, Y/N gently shook him by his shoulder with her foot until he opened his eyes. Loki looked right at her and it was dead quiet around them for a moment. Y/N’s heart yearned for him, she wanted to wrap him into her arms, but she refused to do that. Instead, she put on a stern mask and grabbed the weapon, having no intentions to use it though. She wanted him to know that she was not the woman she used to be.

“Am I dead?”

“Newsflash, Loki! You’re not, but you sure let everyone think so.”

Loki sat up, never taking his eyes off Y/N. He seemed dazed. Flashes of what had happened only a few minutes earlier were fresh on his mind. He remembered Odin’s death, Thor’s rage, Hela. But once he saw her after believing he never would see her again; his mouth went dry. She stood there, looking at him with anger burning in her E/C eyes. Loki could hardly believe his eyes. He didn’t even know what to do. Now, several years later, there was no use in pretending to be the monster he made out of himself, but he didn’t know if he could let go of his regret and beg for forgiveness. Could he put her through that?

He looked away from her judging gaze and he saw the small, odd weapon that was in her hand. It felt like a punch in his gut, she was furious! He had to be careful but at the same time, he almost wanted her to be mad at him.

It became obvious that Loki wasn’t going to break the silence and Y/N was impatient.

“How are you alive?”

Loki remembered the exact moment he almost died. No one would ever know but he actually sacrificed himself to Thor. He could’ve died when Thor left his body on Svartalfheim but something miraculous kept him alive. What it was, Loki wasn’t sure, but he told himself it was his mother from Valhalla. How could he possibly explain the past five years to her? From the moment he broke her heart by telling her that everything they had together, all the good and the bad, were lies. He told her she was amusement for him. Now he felt rotten just thinking back.

“Answer me!” Y/N demanded harshly, taking a step closer to Loki. She put the little disk shooter underneath Loki’s jaw so she could tilt his head up, forcing him to look at her. It was astonishing how he hadn’t gotten up yet to mock her and drag her down. Something terrible must’ve happened before he arrived.

It didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to let herself care about that. What they had in the past should remain there.

Loki didn’t flinch when Y/N put the cold metal object against his neck. He didn’t know what it did, and he didn’t want to find it. Although he knew she probably hated his gut, he doubted she’d hurt him. “It’s a long story, Y/N.”

His voice made Y/N’s stomach twist. She hated herself for missing it. She hated that his voice still affected her but the was proud she had learnt to hide her feelings. To him, he looked like a whole new person. Loki looked her up and down and noticed how different she was, even her attire had changed. Y/N was wearing a skin-tight, white bodysuit that hugged her curves just right, long red boots and a dark red cape, much less elegant than Asgardian capes. It was short and rigged. Y/N’s arms were bare, and she wore golden jewellery that spiralled from her wrist all the way to her upper arm. He even saw scars that weren’t there before. They weren’t neat so he figured they came from battles. She had changed.

The biggest difference was her cold and harsh exterior. He looked at her and her face didn’t soften up like before. He knew that he had burnt her innocence and sweetness to ashes. It hurt, more than he wanted to admit.

“You’re not in a hurry, are you? Start talking.” Y/N was getting angry again. The silence was messing with her head. If he didn’t care, why couldn’t he speak? It bothered her that Loki looked at her so carefully. She felt vulnerable.

Loki looked at her neck. He knew they weren’t together anymore but nevertheless, seeing a dark purple, almost red hickey decorating her skin hurt. Seeing that someone else had gotten the pleasure of touching her was like a stab to the heart. She had moved on, hadn’t she? Loki’s throat felt tight. So much was going on and it was too much – even for him. Asgard was in danger but here he was, in Y/N’s ship, his fate in her hands. “Where shall I begin?” He put on a fake smile, putting up the act from five years ago. He was not going to hurt her any further by explaining how he lied. She had gone through enough because of him. Lying furthermore should be smooth, he was the god of lies after all.

“How about you explain how you’re alive and where you’ve been. Maybe, just maybe I won’t throw you in the lion’s den.” By that, Y/N meant the arena. She knew damn well the Grandmaster would pay her a huge sum for Loki, but she also knew Loki could have answers that she desperately needed. “You’re so great with words, aren’t you? You better use them.”

“Someone still cares,” Loki taunted her, putting his best effort into acting like the fool he was before. He was aware it was terrible, but he had no choice. He decided to push her buttons a little bit more, just to study her reaction. “I see you took some Asgardian goods with you.”

“You know I could electrocute you, right?” Y/N pressed the lips of the disc shooter against his neck, only to threaten him of course. Sure, he probably deserved it, but she didn’t actually want to hurt him. Only a few years ago she was the one who stitched up his wounds and washed off his blood. “Besides, Thor gave them to me. Turns out being in good terms with him is quite handy,” Y/N pushed Loki’s buttons as well, knowing damn well how Loki hated that.

Loki pulled his lips into a thin line. The hickey was almost right in front of his eyes now and he believed Y/N did it on purpose, to shove it in his face that she didn’t care at all. Did Thor make it? Loki wished it was anyone else but his brother. Was she over him? Loki believed it – at least to some extent. How could she still care, after everything he put her through? He didn’t just break her heart, he absolutely destroyed it!

But she would never know he did it for her. She was better off without him. Loki told that to himself to make himself feel better. He had to get away from her and fast but it wouldn’t be easy.

“I’ve been on Asgard. Thor broke me out of my cell, begging for my help. It was a perfect opportunity for me to slither out of that little cell. Then I had to get Odin out of the picture…”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Y/N almost yelled. Sure, Odin was a terrible person but she couldn’t imagine Loki killing him. He hadn’t gone that far, right?

Loki rolled his eyes. “I sent him away. He was on Midgard until Thor and I returned to him. He told us about our sister, Hela, who is currently set to destroy Asgard. Then he died-“

“Slow down!” Y/N stopped him. She put the disc shooter away and took a deep breath. She attempted to forget about her personal issues with Loki and tried to focus on Asgard. Were the people in danger? Who was this Hela? Their sister? She had never even heard of her. ”Odin’s dead?”

“I told you, it’s a long story, Y/N.”

[PART 3]

Author’s Note: I feel like this chapter is just building the plot but the next part will be a bit more fun (I hope). What are your thoughts? :) It’s kind of funny how this turned into a series.

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