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dopescotlandwarrior · 5 years ago

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The Dancer-Chapter Three

A special thanks to @statell for all the help

Previous chapters on AO3

Chapter Three

The day after Hogmanay, the world looked completely new and different to Jamie. It always did because of his mother telling him about the new year, fresh beginnings and a casting off of mistakes and baggage from the year before. Gather yer blessins to take into the new year and forget the rest, she would say.

Jamie spent time hiking the hills where ever the snow would allow. He needed to be alone in the uncomplicated outdoors so his twisted mind could unravel, set goals for the new year, and dream about a lovely future. His mother’s voice was heard again telling him to have a picture in his mind of where he wanted to be in a year. “Make a braw picture in your in mind so yer feet will know which way to go, Jamie boy.”

By this time next year… Hmm Reunite with his childhood friends and celebrate Hogmanay together. He would see the finished barn he promised Jenny he would build for her, three years ago. Hiking and climbing once a week to build his strength and overall health. He would pay it forward in Edinburgh, he and Claire, with reading programs, book clubs and free classes for computers and creative writing.

He would have to open another store this year but this time he would find a way to pull any local bookseller into his project rather than leave them to mourn.

He would keep his workweek to forty hours, well fifty at most, when the new project was underway.

Jamie was smiling as he saw Lallybroch in the distance. He felt better and he had a plan. Throughout his hike and planning the coming year, the veiled girl beckoned him. Get outa my head temptress, ye mean nothin to me, he thought.

Claire had danced at many celebrations during the holidays and it was time to treat herself with some new clothes. She would not feel buyer’s remorse because the bank account would hardly notice the loss of Benjamins. Still, she called in reinforcement to prevent her from bolting at the first price tag.

“Geillis, I am walking into Epitome right now and if you don’t hurry, I promise to buy every beige garment I see.”

“Impossible Claire because I’m already here with a full dressin room waiitin for ye. Look up for Christ’s sake before ye crash into the makeup counter.”

When Claire looked up, there was Geillis pointing to a dressing room. Claire was surprised by all the color in the garments and she balked saying she wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing any of it.

Geillis held a beautiful royal blue sweater out for her. “Ye wear leggings underneath and boots that fit yer calf or ankle boots with a heel for date night. Jesus Claire, dinna roll eyes at me, ye need to consider going out with a man when one of them asks ye.”

“They only ask when I dance, and the shock of seeing the real me will have them running for the hills I’m afraid.”

“So we lessen the chasm between ye and the other ye and it starts with color and beautiful clothes. Dinna forget I’m with ye enough to know ye made a small fortune over the holiday. I think Omar is jealous, God knows I am. What about this one?”

For the rest of the afternoon, the girls ran from one shop to another as Claire’s back seat filled with her brave purchases. Sweaters, leggings, scarfs, boots, tops, jeans, a tailored coat and soft comfortable dresses for curling up on a couch or chair for a book club meeting. Claire was feeling braver and laughing more, until Geillis put the fear of God into her heart by stopping at a salon. It was the best in Edinburgh, so she marched inside to make Claire an appointment.

The man behind the counter was model gorgeous with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. His wide mouth was adorned with a trimmed mustache that made his white teeth sparkle. Geillis started at the top of his perfect head and devoured bite-size pieces hoping he was tall and hung like a horse.

Claire raced in after Geillis to stop her and witnessed her friend morph into a purring, circling, huntress. His name was Joseph and he had a cancellation and could take Claire right now. Claire rapidly shook her head no, but Geillis forgot how to hear as she pulled her reluctant friend to follow Joseph. He led the ladies into his own private room and barely heard a word from Claire before he started cutting. Claire looked from Geillis to the stylist and figured neither one would be communicating with her now, so she closed her mouth and her eyes. She could hear some lady in the main salon complaining bitterly that she had been on Joseph’s waiting list for a year and this was just not fair!

Claire hated her hair since she was old enough to have an opinion. It was frizzy-curly that she tamed with loads of hairpins and detangler. It was like a curse on her feminity because she never could style it, wear it down or in a ponytail. On her rare trips to the bedroom for sex she would emerge looking quite like Einstein with a red face. He could shave it off for all she cared. It was why she loved wearing wigs so much.

Joseph was wrapping Claire’s hair in large plastic rods, allowing Geillis to flirt and toss her hair like some crazy person. Claire peaked up at the two of them and noticed Joseph was caught in her web, like a hooked fish that Claire hoped knew how to cut hair. The eyes closed and her mind practiced her new routines until she felt Joseph take her hand.

The amount of hair on the floor was staggering and Claire’s hand instantly reached for her head but only touched the plastic rods. She was seated and then laid back with her neck locked into a U shaped cut out in the ceramic sink. It was like a torture device sculpted for maximum pain that was quickly getting worse. She looked up and saw both faces above her, but they were talking to each other and didn’t seem to notice her. It can’t get any worse she thought until freezing water gushed out of a hand-held sprayer that soaked her face dripping into her sweater.

The big rods were removed, one more soaking and a towel dropped on her face as Geillis pulled Joseph into a corner to play with his hair. Claire held the towel to her dripping hair and sat down in the stylist’s chair that was unfortunately turned away from the mirror. Claire twisted her head trying to see what had become of her hair until she was jolted back by Joseph man-handling the towel and squeezing the water out of her hair. Claire glared at Geillis.

Next, a loud blow dryer was following chunks of her hair wound around a brush as Joseph’s expert hands pulled and twisted sections of hair while staring at Geillis. It wasn’t intolerable. The warm air was chasing away the cold from her wet sweater. A rather large razor edge was pulled down taught sections of hair around her face and her large eyes watched it twist and turn an inch from her skin. The blow dryer once again and then the cape was pulled off her with flourish. Claire felt the chair drop slowly as Joseph turned her toward the mirror.

Claire stared at her reflection with wide eyes that looked bigger and her lips looked more prominent. She pulled herself out of the chair and leaned toward the mirror where she looked at her features an inch from the glass. Her eyes gorged on her amazing hair for five minutes. Where did all this bouncy, straight hair come from, she wondered. Her bangs were cut very long and angled to sweep across her face covering one eye. Holy fucking Christmas, she thought, this was a mad miracle and she was desperate to find out how to style it like this.

“Joseph! I lov…” They were kissing and Joseph held her coat out to her. Guess that’s my cue to leave, she thought. Good thing Geillis had her own car. Claire tossed a folded hundred-dollar bill on the front desk and told the person it was for Joseph. Paid in full or just the first installment, Claire didn’t give a rip. For now, anyway, the cursed hair looked as good as the bouncing bobs that shined on the magazine covers. She raced home to stare at herself and try everything on, twice.

Toppled boxes and bags were strewn across Claire’s studio floor. She had pulled her makeup organizer out and was sitting on the floor in full light an inch from the mirror. Every ten minutes or so she ran to the bathroom to wash her face and start over. The laptop glowed next to her and she typed Eva Mendes into Google and looked closely at her favorite eyes in Hollywood. She was determined to learn, and scrubbed her face three more times, blinking back stinging tears to answer her ringing cell phone.

“Claire, my dahling, a pipe ruptured in the kitchen and the restaurant is closed until next week. Three days they tell me so go visit relatives and rest, aibnatu.” Claire smiled at the Arabic daughter reference and jumped back in front of the mirror. She carefully plucked at her eyebrows using Eva Mendes as a reference again. She went painstakingly slow to avoid a catastrophic patch pulled out by accident. An hour later she moved her eyeballs from one brow to the other, happy with the arc.

Claire was nervous about wearing her new clothes and hair in public. She still felt like she was playing dress-up and did not want to embarrass herself. Geillis was still not answering her cell and Claire was getting bored. She pulled her new coat on and looked at all sides in the mirror. What’s the worse that can happen? Somebody points at my ridiculous clothes behind my back? No biggie. She reached for her purse and left.

Jamie would be long gone at this hour, so she decided to check out the bookstore in his absence and take a look at the side rooms used for kid stories and adult book club meetings. It was a perfect place to find her confidence. Brightly lit, she would know if people were laughing at her. She parked and exhaled a billowing cloud of steam in the twenty-degree interior of her car.

There were two large carousel doors in the front of the store and stepping into one she looked up at a man on the other side of the glass pushing his way outside and staring at her. Claire looked at the floor convinced the man had dropped something. Looking up she realized she missed her opportunity to exit into the store and had to go around again. I am sure no one saw that she decided.

The store was gigantic, and Claire felt her heart race as she read the section names placed high on the shelves to lead people to what they sought. Claire knew where Jamie’s office was from the one time she was here and made sure it was dark before venturing in. She was free to explore the store unnoticed and felt a rush of excitement to see as much as possible.

Jamie pretended to eat as he pushed the peas and carrots around his plate making small talk with Jenny and his best friend Ian. He was lost in his daydreams of spinning veils and exotic eyes, hoping Jenny would not ask him about it. Strangely, Jenny and Ian were getting on like two peas in a pod and hardly noticed him. Once supper was cleaned up, he slipped away and headed for the restaurant and the dancer who would not leave his head.

The closer he got the faster he drove until he looked up at a dark building and empty parking lot. He circled around and read the note about the closure due to plumbing. Christ, he would surely implode waiting until next week to see her. He rolled out of the parking lot heading for the bookstore. Dropping in on the night manager and his staff could pay dividends in future months. Maybe the night wasn’t a total bomb after all.

Once inside the store Jamie kept close to the shelves where he could observe the staff, happy and helpful, going from music to video games and back to books, assisting customers. It made him content to see such productive employees looking for people to help. He continued to stroll through the store, watching for problems, or lazy staff running out the clock. He watched his newest hire helping a petite brunette in the classics section. She moved away and Jamie continued his lazy spying as he walked through the store. He smiled thinking he should get back to Ian before Jenny chewed his ears off with her continuous conversation. He walked along the row of rooms and offices noticing the brunette sitting inside a room with comfortable couches and chairs. The walls were glass so he could watch her as he walked. He felt something vaguely familiar about her but realized her glorious ass and legs would have been cataloged in his head, like every other pretty girl in Edinburgh.

Jamie leaned against the door to open it enough to speak to her.

“Excuse me, lass. This room is dedicated to the book clubs. There are couches scattered throughout the store if ye like to read a bit.”

“Book clubs, that sounds interesting. Who leads the club if I might ask?”

“Claire Beauchamp is in charge of our community programs.”

“Is she any good?”

“Oh yea, quite good.”

Jamie was trying to back out of a conversation he never wanted in the first place. When long legs were uncurled from under the woman, he was momentarily halted so he could watch skin tight jeans and boots. He could be running down the street with his hair on fire, but he would stop to watch gorgeous legs swing out of a car. Being temporarily diverted by the anatomy of the opposite sex was part of being a man he always thought.

“I am very close to Claire Beauchamp actually.”

The woman passed through the door under Jamie’s arm and then turned to look at him in the light of the store. Jamie stared at her momentarily confused.

“It’s me, Mister Fraser, Claire Beauchamp,” she said smiling. “I didn’t have to work tonight and got bored, so I came by to see the rest of the store. I hope you don’t mind.”

“What have ye done to yerself?”

“Oh, I…I…” Claire’s hand reached up and touched her shoulder-length hair and looked nervously for an escape.”

Oh my God lass, he thought, I meant that in a good way. Ye have eyes, he thought, surely ye can see what’s right in front of your face.

He slowed himself down and looked at her like he was appraising a beautiful work of art for sale.

“Ye know Sassenach, I’ve seen my share of makeovers, but none like this. He circled around her showing his appreciation. Claire’s cheeks blushed at his scrutiny, her confidence soared and she giggled at his exaggerated gawking.”

“It was nice to see you, Mister Fraser, I have to get home, goodnight.”

“Ah, two things Sassenach, how do I contact ye? For the community programs, I mean.”

Claire pulled the phone from his hand and punched in her number hearing the muffled ring in her purse. She looked up at him, “and the other thing?”

Jamie was still staring at her trying to see all the changes. “Wednesday.”

“Wednesday?”

“Aye, C’mon, I’ll walk ye to yer car.”

They walked together to the other side of the store. Jamie waved at a few people but otherwise looked at Claire. There was something unsettling about the changes in her. It was making him feel weird, happy, confused and sad all at the same time. Aside from her momentary anxiety when he said something stupid, she was like a new woman and reminded him of someone, but who?

Jamie failed to rally his senses before she dropped into her car. He turned to walk back to the store and looked when she called his name.

“What is happening on Wednesday?”

“Ye, here, and a bunch of wee ones, aye?”

“I will see you then Mister Fraser.”

A fortuitous meeting he thought, looking at her number on his phone. I’ll get the reading programs up and running before I leave for Glasgow.

Jamie did not spend much time at a new store. Once it was opened and running smoothly, he was off to build another one.

A new store was a complex project that easily lost money from delays, inept contractors, expensive labor, and a million other factors. Jamie had commercial construction experience and hired on, nine years ago, as an assistant project manager. The job took him to cities all over Europe and America. He was home for holidays and vacations, otherwise, he was gone.

Halfway through his first year as assistant project manager, he received a formal invitation to a meeting of the full board the following month. The next day he received a phone call from the secretary of one of the members and later a large envelope was hand-delivered to him with plane tickets and a cashier’s check for one thousand dollars.

Jamie walked off the plane after landing in Germany and felt a small hand attached to an arm that linked through his. A pretty woman in business attire pulled him into a limo and handed him an apple martini while giving instructions to the driver in German. The woman sat close beside him and peeled off her jacket as Jamie gorged himself on her jutting chest and fat red lips. She dragged him through men’s clothing stores where a lucky few could afford to shop until his interview suit was complete.

The woman watched him get in and out of his clothes at least a dozen times during the afternoon and when it was clear they were done she looked at her watch and then pushed him into a seat in the dressing room while pulling her blouse off. She was completely naked bouncing on Jamie’s lap and all he could do is hang on. His twenty years on earth had not prepared him for this thrilling experience, nor had the many dropped panties delivered him to the promised land quite like she did.

One month later, haircut and manicured hands, wearing a tailored suit and shiny shoes, Jamie met the members of the board for the first time. They had vetted Jamie so thoroughly they knew his test results in Chemistry from his sophomore year in high school. Millions of dollars would be gambled on his ability in the next ten years and the board gave him no quarter as they questioned his course of action in one impossible scenario after another.

After three hours they all broke for lunch and vaporized except for one man. Clearly the youngest of the board members, he poured the world’s best whisky into a cut crystal glass and handed it to Jamie.

“You are doing remarkably well Mister Fraser. You can relax because you’re already hired. Now comes the negotiation for salary and benefits. I cannot be seen coaching you so listen carefully, “tell them you want ten years as project manager followed by first right of refusal for every position that opens in the next grade up, forever. It will guarantee a life of promotions until you get dizzy from a fear of heights.” He poured Jamie another shot of the whisky he would remember for the rest of his life.

“Good luck friend.” In seconds, Jamie was alone feeling his bravery assert itself. What the hell, he thought, friend or foe, he had a good feeling about the man. Jamie drained his glass and when the board reconvened, he gambled his career on the advice of a total stranger.

Steal gray eyes regarded Jamie under thick white eyebrows. Thin lips pressed together in a straight line across his deeply lined face. You could hear a pin drop in that room and Jamie wondered if the members could hear his ramming heart. He remembered his boss working seventy or more hours per week, missing the birth and growth of his kids, saying he had to make money while the opportunity lasted. Complaining his six-figure income would end after ten years and he would settle into managing whatever store they gave him, at a lower salary, for the rest of his career.

When they offered the same package to Jamie, he stood at the end of the conference table with all eyes waiting for him to pledge his extraordinary life to corporate slave labor. He dropped his head for a minute of quiet before he threw the dice.

“My mother taught me to always know where I want to be, so my feet know which way to go.” He looked up at the man on the other end of the table. “I have a braw picture of my life before my dyin day,” he gave them a half-smile, “and I willna get there with yer offer. I’m sorry gentlemen, I respectfully decline.”

Jamie sat down, shaking from his feet to the crown of his head, silently invoking the love of his parents and the power of Lallybroch to carry him through the rest of the meeting.

The white eyebrows asked Jamie to step out just as the door opened and the sexy secretary found his eyes, smiling her intent. She led him to a hallway and pushed him into a couch, then turned her attention to a flask and a shot glass pulled out of her briefcase. Jamie was so tired. He stared at the shot glass anticipating the lovely feeling it would bring. The woman handed it to him and told him to toss it back. He did.

The phone in the woman’s purse vibrated and she stood, bending over to press her tongue into Jamie’s mouth as she kissed him.

“Good luck” she whispered into his ear and disappeared around the corner seconds before the conference room door opened.

Eight board members filed past Jamie, smiling and shaking his hand. White eyebrows was the last in line and told Jamie to expect an offer in the next two days. It would be hand-delivered and it would rock his world.

He was feeling better, almost like superman as he walked to the exit of the building. Hearing his name, he turned around as the young board member caught up to him.

“Last bit of advice Jamie. In eleven years you will wonder what gift to send me as thanks for how I helped you today.” He pressed the bottle of whiskey into his hand. “I want a case of this.” He smiled with his perfect teeth, “It’s my favorite.”

Jamie watched Claire drive out of the parking lot and returned to the store. Jumping stairs two at a time to his office he left the lights off and drifted to sleep on his couch. Sometime in the dead of night, when unanswered questions are brought to the light, Jamie dreamed.

The dancer was twirling across the room straight toward him. He watched her like a statue, made of concrete and powerless to move. She stopped spinning six inches from him. She spoke rapid Arabic and he could only watch her mouth until she said “Jamie.”

His eyes snapped to her eyes. She spoke to him! Finally! She was pointing to something and his eyes followed the line she pointed to. He saw, in the distance, the room in his store where he found Claire. She sat on the floor with wee ones sitting all around her as she read to them.

The dancer was pointing furiously at Claire, ”love her,” said in her broken English.

Jamie looked back to the dancer. There was love in his eyes, he could feel it. “I love you, I must be with you.”

The dancer took Jamie’s hand and led him across the floor approaching the dressing room. Before she entered the room, she turned around and Jamie saw she was sobbing and then she looked at Claire.

“Please.” Said through her tears. Jamie felt his mind snap having her so close to him. He looked around at the empty restaurant. They were alone and he would have his way with her.

“Jesus!” Jamie yelled in his sleep and his eyes flew open. “Ah diah!” His office was pitch black and the store was empty. He felt the huge erection that pulsed between his legs, his balls were pulled up tight to his body and stung like they were being poked by a live wire. He was literally seconds from ejaculation. All he had to do is close his eyes and see her kneel in front of him and his pain would turn to pleasure. Jamie was panting and conflicted, crazy angry at letting himself go back to her, even in his head.

“Leave me alone ye cunt!” He was seething mad just wanting a way out of this nightmare. “I dinna bide with rape but if it would rid yer presence in my head, I would break yer bones with my brutality.”

Jamie grabbed his coat and ran for his car feeling completely out of control. The speedometer pushed into the criminal zone as he sped through Edinburgh. Where is a cop when ye need one, he wondered? He had to be punished for thinking he could harm another person, especially a woman. A night in jail would be helpful, jar him back to reality before his well-constructed life crumbled around him. He raked a hand through his hair then gripped the steering wheel, hating the shaking that vibrated his fingers like he was as weak as a bairn.

Jenny couldn’t see him this way, just in case she was awake, so he drove the back roads until his tank was almost empty.

Being unsuccessful at getting arrested and nearly running his gas tank dry, Jamie turned into the Lallybroch driveway and sat in the quiet of his truck. Dawn was breaking across the fields and he saw himself running through the corn stalks as a lad with a single concern to get home before he was late for supper. He desperately wished he could go back in time, before his mistakes, and try again to be the man his parents raised.

He took a deep breath and walked to the front door noticing Ian’s car was still where he left it. Jamie wondered if he was sacked out on the couch and felt the sting of guilt for leaving like he did. Setting the alarm for two hours he dropped into bed. Sleep came quickly as she wrapped her cadaverous long fingers around his defenseless brain.

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isitgintimeyet · 5 years ago

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Road To The Aisles

The Ties That Bind second arc

So, legal battle won, the hard work begins. In a year full of changes, Jamie and Claire must learn how to be parents, juggle work, friends and family, and deal with an ex and her mother. Not forgetting to fit in their own special ‘grown-up’ time…

… oh, and plan a wedding, of course.

This story starts just after the legal agreement reached in Ned Gowan’s office and before the final scene of The Ties That Bind. It will be clear where the two stories merge. It is a continuation and so will make more sense if you’ve read The Ties That Bind first.

Thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge, @happytoobserve and @wickedgoodbooks.

I aim to post every weekend, if possible. Hope you enjoy...

Chapter 1: An Awaited Introduction

“See how he clings to my finger. I’m sure he knows me already. He cries when the nurse takes him away. Oh Marilla, do you think - you don’t think, do you - that his hair is going to be red?”

L.M. Montgomery, Anne’s House of Dreams

Geillis looked around the small tea room with satisfaction.

“Thank god there are still places like this. I went tae a place last week… it had all the atmosphere of an aircraft hanger, but wi’ these stupid wee chairs, like a school. And the waiters, sae fuckin’ pretentious.”

She sipped her mug of tea with relish. “All I asked fer was a mug of tea and a jam doughnut. The wee fella looked at me like I was pond scum and told me in his fake Morningside accent, that they only served ‘high end teas’... or some such shite. Nae milk or sugar, and the matcha green tea doughnut looked like it was growing penicillin.”

She bit into her scone. “Anyway,” she spoke through a mouthful of crumbs. “I’m sorry. That’s enough of ma blather, tell me exactly what happened wi’ the lawyer yesterday.”

Claire smiled at her friend. “It was as good as we hoped. The lawyer John recommended was brilliant. Jamie got everything he asked for. Geneva didn’t have a leg to stand on. Shared custody of William. So Jamie will have William every Sunday evening until Tuesday, well, until morning drop off at childcare, I suppose. And then alternate weekends, from Friday evening. It’s a bit hazy at the moment, until William’s a bit older and in nursery.”

“But how do ye feel, Claire? This has all been about Jamie and the baby. What about ye? I mean this is pretty huge, is it no’? Ye’re gonna be a step-mother. That’s a forever thing. And ye’re always goin’ tae have tae deal wi’ Geneva… and her mother.” The look on Geillis’s face clearly showed her opinion of Geneva and Louisa Dunsany.

“To be honest, G, it’s only just hitting me.” Claire picked up her teaspoon and started methodically stirring her tea, clockwise then anti-clockwise, as she spoke. “Last night, after all the excitement, I lay in bed while Jamie was asleep, just thinking about it all. I mean I’ve never actually met William yet. I know that’s hardly surprising… Geneva didn’t even let Jamie see him for weeks. And now I’m going to be a big part of his life.”

She put the spoon down. “It’s like… like… being on an express train. I had a choice, when Jamie first told me. I chose to stay, to get on the train and to deal with all this. And I don’t regret it, any of it. And then with all the problems with Geneva and her mother and the lawyers, well, I didn’t have time to think about it. All our energy was on sorting that mess out. And now the train has slowed, we’ve reached the destination and I’m thinking ‘oh shit, what do I do now that I’m here?’”

“Ye ken fine what tae do. Ye’re a doctor, ye can cope.”

Claire smiled at her friend’s words of encouragement. “Practically, I know I can cope. It’s not that. What if… what if… William doesn’t like me? What will I do? And what will Jamie do?”

Geillis got up from her chair and rushed to Claire’s side of the table. She wrapped her arms tightly around her friend and kissed her loudly on the cheek. “Hush, there is nae way that William will no’ love ye. Ye are amazing… I ken that, Jamie kens that and that wee bairn will too.”

Returning to her seat, Geillis continued. “So, was there no big scene in the lawyer’s office? Did Geneva no’ go after yer blood? I can’t imagine she’d be too pleased seeing that ring on yer finger.”

Claire held her hand out to admire the diamond solitaire once more before replying. “Sorry to disappoint you, but no scene. I did, however, have to put Louisa right on a couple of things.”

“Ooh, such as?”

“That she had no right to question me about my behaviour, I owed her no explanations. And what I thought about their little game-playing.”

“Ok, but more importantly, does she ken ye’re engaged? Did she see the ring?”

“I didn’t actually mention it, but I may have wafted it in her general direction a couple of times.”

Geillis laughed. “Fuckin’ brilliant. I think that’s game, set and match tae ye, Claire. Ye’ve won.”

*****************

Claire stood at the hob, stirring the Ragù sauce, a pan of water bubbling next to it, ready for the pasta to be cooked as soon as Jamie came home. She wiped her hands on her apron before taking a sip of her wine.

In the previous weeks, starting from the day of William’s birth, she had tried to increase her cooking repertoire and had found it both therapeutic and incredibly enjoyable. To her surprise, she was now the proud owner of not only an apron, but also a Mezzaluna and a mortar and pestle. Following recipes appealed to her logical mind and the very act of cooking gave her time to think and contemplate.

She thought about her chat with Geillis. It really didn’t feel like she’d ‘won.’ It wasn’t a competition in her eyes (although Geneva had obviously thought otherwise), but the gateway to a new part of her life. ‘Stepmother’ - Claire inwardly shuddered at the very word, with its evil fairytale connotations. She just wanted to love William, for all their sakes, and hope that he would come to love her as well.

Claire moved to the fridge as she heard the front door and poured Jamie a glass of chilled white wine. The image of a Stepford wife briefly came into her mind but she laughed it away. No Stepford wife would ever have hair as messy as hers, nor willingly immerse their hands in the amount of blood and gore that she did. She just had to remember that, in addition to their new roles as Da and Stepmum, they were still Jamie and Claire, they were still the same people.

Jamie came into the kitchen. Having finally got to spend time with his son, he was still clearly bursting with excitement. He came up behind Claire, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzled the back of her neck.

“Mmm, Sassenach, ye smell of garlic and basil.”

She turned in his arms and brought hers around his neck. Bringing her head to rest on his chest, she sniffed then pulled away. “And you, James Fraser, smell of… baby spit up.”

Jamie grinned. “Aye, weel, there may have been a wee bit of that after I fed him.”

“You fed him? With a bottle?” Claire spoke without thinking.

Jamie chuckled.

“Nah, with one of ma fully functioning man breasts… Aye, with a bottle. Geneva knows he’s goin’ tae have tae have the bottle when we… I…” Jamie rapidly corrected himself. “When I look after him here. And I changed his nappy. First nappy ever.”

"I can't believe you've never changed a nappy. Not even your nephew's?"

"Nah, I've always been more on the fun uncle side of things, ye ken. And before, with William, it took all ma effort tae get Geneva tae let me hold the bairn, never mind actually tend tae him."

“So, how did you find the nappy change?”

“Fer a wee bairn that’s only fed on milk, it was surprisingly… gross. It gets everywhere.”

Claire instinctively took a step back.

“Nah,” he paused and sniffed before confirming. “No’ on me. But the wee laddie drew his feet right up in tae it.”

Claire laughed. “You're supposed to hold his feet out of the way. Did Geneva not tell you?”

“Aye, I ken that now. But Geneva didna tell me or show me anything. She jes’ sat in the corner, watching every move. Like she was scoring me on ma performance. I tell ye, I canna wait until I can be with him and no’ have her peering over ma shoulder.”

Claire passed Jamie his wineglass and turned back to the cooking.

“Sassenach, let dinner wait a while. I need tae ask ye something. Will ye come intae the lounge?”

Claire turned the hob off as Jamie took her hand and led her into the living room. They sat together on the sofa. Claire sipped her wine and waited.

“Sassenach, I canna tell ye how it felt tae spend time with William today. He’s such a braw lad.” Jamie paused for a moment, reliving the day’s emotions.

“Anyway, if ye’d like tae… would ye come with me tomorrow tae meet him?”

Claire’s stomach flipped. She took a larger sip of wine before answering.

“Jamie, you know I want to meet William, but tomorrow? Are you sure? I mean so soon. Geneva’s hardly even got used to the idea of sharing William. Have you asked her?”

“Aye, I asked her. She wasna happy about it, but what can she do? Ye’re a big part of ma life and will be a big part of William’s life too. If ye're willing ye can finally meet him."

“Of course I’d like to but...” Claire hesitated, unwilling to dampen Jamie's excitement at the meeting.

"Tell me, please. What's troubling ye? Are ye worried about Geneva? I willna leave ye, ye dinna even have tae speak tae her if that's a problem."

"It's not that. It’s just, well, this is pretty huge… life changing… and I am worried. Babies can be fussy creatures. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he won’t stop crying when he sees me? How will we cope?”

Jamie put his wineglass down. Claire reluctantly let him put hers on the table too. He tucked her curls behind her ear before stroking her cheek.

“Claire, I dinna think that will happen at all. But if it does, we will manage. William will grow tae like ye… tae love ye. Dinna worry about what might never happen. So, no pressure, do ye want tae meet him tomorrow?”

Claire nodded.

Jamie continued. “The only thing is, Sassenach, Geneva doesna want ye in her home, so we’ve agreed, if ye’re willing, tae meet at Isobel’s house.”

“That’s fine. I have no wish to spoil the, no doubt, perfect ambience of her house.”

Jamie grinned. “Aye, somehow I dinna think her interior design is going tae survive much longer, not once William’s mobile. I’m so happy you’re going tae meet him, Sassenach. I canna wait fer tomorrow.”

***************

Claire stood nervously waiting on the front door step. Jamie took her hand, entwined his fingers with hers and gently stroked her palm with his thumb. He looked at her, checking that she was ready. She nodded as Jamie knocked on Isobel’s door.

Isobel had obviously been waiting as the door opened almost immediately. She shepherded them into the hall. The sound of a baby crying came from another room.

Isobel shrugged. “I’m afraid William’s being a little bit unsettled today. Geneva was up several times in the night. But I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

They followed Isobel down the hall. Before she opened the door to the living room, she turned and spoke to Claire.

“I’m so glad you’ve come to see him. Don’t worry, Mummy’s not here. I told her to go shopping. I’m not sure what you said to her, but she didn’t seem too keen to stick around and see you anyway. And I have reminded Geneva to be polite. Seriously, they’re more difficult to handle than my students! I’ll settle you and then go and put the kettle on for us.”

Isobel’s living room was bright, airy, and tastefully decorated. It was also filled with various baby paraphernalia. A changing mat lay on the floor next to a bag overflowing with toys, nappies and clothing. A baby gym was balanced precariously on a chair. William’s car seat was discarded on the sofa, a couple of muslin cloths draped over it.

Geneva sat in the midst of this, cradling a somewhat fretful baby. Isobel hurriedly moved the baby gym off the chair and indicated that Claire should sit.

Jamie stopped himself from rushing over to take William from Geneva as he stayed at Claire’s side.

“Hello, Geneva,” Jamie greeted Geneva formally. “I believe Williams’s being a wee bit tetchy today.”

Geneva looked over to Jamie and Claire. Despite the immaculate makeup, the lack of sleep was clearly evident on her face.

“That is an understatement.” There was no trace of friendliness or humour in her voice.

“Weel, have ye tried tae…”

“Spare me any misguided advice. He is fed and clean and dry… just not too happy. Here, take him. My arm’s gone to sleep.”

With a quick look to Claire, Jamie moved across to Geneva and took the baby from her arms.

Claire felt her chest tighten and tears fill her eyes as she watched Jamie, standing in the centre of the room holding William. She had grown accustomed to seeing him cuddling his nephew and baby niece, but to know this was Jamie’s son affected her more than she had realised.

Jamie looked directly at her and mouthed “You ok?”.

Claire nodded and blinked several times to clear her eyes.

“So, would ye like tae meet William?” Jamie asked, bending over and placing the baby in her arms.

Claire looked down into the red, creased face of Jamie’s son, a little whimpering sound now coming from him. She stroked his cheek gently.

“Hello there, William,” she whispered.

“You need to be careful you don’t scratch him with your ring... And remember to make sure his head is supported.”

Jamie turned to Geneva, trying to remain calm at her intervention. “Claire kens all that. She is a doctor after all. She’s used tae dealing with bairns. She doesna need ye tae point that out, do ye, Claire?”

There was no response from Claire, as she focused solely on William, studying his features intently. He grew calm in her arms, quietening before giving a massive yawn and rubbing one small dimpled fist over his face.

The door opened and Isobel popped her head in. “Geneva, dear, can you come and give me a hand? I’m not sure if this baby monitor thing is working.”

She winked at Jamie as Geneva reluctantly made her way out of the room.

Jamie sat down on the floor at Claire’s feet, watching Claire’s face as she lowered her head to kiss William, now drifting happily off to sleep. Jamie leant his head against her knee.

“How do ye feel, Sassenach?”

Claire thought for a moment, lost for words. “Jamie, he’s lovely… just perfect. And I can see you in him... that chin… and that red hair. I still can’t believe he’s here and going to be part of our lives. How about you?”

“Every time I’ve been with William, even though that’s been grand there’s always been Geneva, with her games and her comments and her resentment… and her mother. This is the first time I can see how it will be, when William comes tae our house and it’s the three of us.”

William stirred for a moment before returning to his contented slumber.

“Yes, Jamie, the three of us… our family.”

#outlander fan fiction #outlander fanfic #Jamie Fraser #claire beauchamp #Road To The Aisles #Chapter 1 #modern au #plenty of fluffy fluffiness #the ties that bind sequel #still nervous about posting

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jack-andthestalk · 6 years ago

Text

Our Son, Arc II, To Lose you, Chapter 11

I usually thank @balfeheughlywed at this point because she is my reading gal and puts me straight when I am gone off course. But this week I almost broke her! So I really want to thank her for all her tiredless, 'but why? and straight out this isn't right talk she gave me. She always hits the nail on the head and made me do a bit of soul searching (dramatic much?) The epic @notevenjokingfic took my jibberish plot planning and really cleaned it up and set me straight again, I am actually giddy with the what we decided on and for the first time in ages can't wait to write! I also want to thank @ladyviolethummingbird and @laythornmuse who support this little fic so much and regularly squeal or shout at me in DM about their writing or often just random bants which really helps when I can't write a sentence. A little NSFW below the cut.

Crawling up the length of my body, she nipped and sucked each expanse of skin, ignoring the part that needed her mouth most, teasing.

Dark curls were falling around her shoulders, almost reaching her naked breasts. Cheeks rosy red from desire and the heat of our bodies.

My hand sought a nipple, but she moved quickly to evade my grasp. Her head fell back in a naughty giggle. I attempted to reach for her hips, encouraging her nearer.

“uh uh,” she waggled a delicate finger at me. “Patience Jamie”

“Sassenach” – I surprised myself with the begging groan that came from my mouth – “I canna wait I need to be inside ye.” My hands were flailing around me as I attempted to pull her mouth to mine.

“all in good time” she whispered against my lips, not quite touching as her hand crept down and cupped my balls.

I was rocking brazenly beneath her, willing her hips to lock with mine as they should be, two magnets moulded to fit each other.

“you’ve been a bold boy Mr Fraser, and I intend on punishing you for it”, she squeezed

lightly making my cock twitch on demand.

“Aye,” I replied, bobbing my head eagerly “I have”, her tongue slid down the length of me, drawing a hiss from my mouth as my hand cupped the back of her head. “Claire” I pleaded again, earning me a stern look as she bent to my groin. She gently ran her teeth along my shaft, hips bucking off the bed now, decency be damned I was aching for her.

“That’s it” she crooned. “Do as I say.”

Her hand ghosted over my stomach and chest, clutching for mine, once she grasped it she pulled it down to her mouth using the flat of her tongue to glide over my palm. “Touch yourself for me, Jamie”. My balls felt they were near to bubbling and my head fell back against the pillow. “I canna Claire – I.”

Her voice sure and smooth rose up against my ear, “you can Jamie, it’s just us.” she guided my hand down to my cock, “show me how you like it?”

Her hair swept around her face, she bit deeply into her bottom lip, eyes locked on mine, “then you can do whatever you want to me” she offered.

“Oh fuck” I reached down taking myself in hand, shutting my eyes tight. “that’s it” she praised, taking my free hand and placing two fingers into her mouth, she sucked deeply. The sensation of her fingers in her mouth made my stomach coil, I frantically pumped myself while using my free hand to rub and tease her breasts. She purred encouraging words in my ear and ran her tongue over me.

Claire ran her hand in under my ass, cupping a cheek and urging me to lift, my hips raised and met my hand at her inclination, she set the rhythm.

I pleaded to her in Gaelic, praised her, thanked her, told her I loved her. She was the only woman that made me lose English, the irony was not lost on me.

Her mouth continued to suck my fingers in and out, her hips moving in tandem with mine. I knew I was going to come and soon, vaguely thought ye need to stop man or ye willna be no use to her. But I couldn’t, I tried to turn on my side, my body coiling in on itself to reach an end. Claire’s palm firm on my chest pushing me into the bed. “shhh” she whispered

“fuck, ye are amazing, do ye ken that?”

Then her tone changed, “your alarm is going off Jamie”. I lifted my head from the pillow to clutch her to me, but she was gone.

6.00am flashing on the clock beside my bed. Fuck.

My head fell back down as I tried to remember the dream, needed to stay in it for a moment or two longer until my heart rate returned to normal, wanted to pretend she was here beside me flushed with pleasure.

I imagined Claire’s reaction if I told her she haunted my dreams since I arrived here, suddenly the idea of telling her anything hit me like a punch to the stomach, oh god I missed her.

Our calls had been reserved, without saying it, Claire seemed to know I had to be careful of what I said. She didn’t push, but there were things that I wanted to say, they threatened to come bubbling out of me if I didn’t keep myself in check. Knowing each word was noted and logged.

I glanced at my phone to see if she had tried to return any of my calls from the day before. She hadn’t which was odd, she and Willie always rang before bed.

Rising slowly, I showered and prepared for the day. Meeting Geneva at the site before 8am. I had little control over what I did since I arrived. Everything I asked, everything that was asked of me was planned, rehearsed. Rising Geneva out of her bed at stupid o clock, to stand in the pissing rain, was a small triumph in terms of what I could control.

I was bone weary, not so much from the late nights poking and prodding budgets and trying to find a trail, it was the falsity I had to portray when I was around her. Interested.

I glanced at the clock again quickly and tried Claire one more time, she would be waking soon to get Willie ready for school.

It went straight to voicemail. A sliver of anxiety gripped my wame I tried to dismiss it as foolishness, she was probably just asleep, maybe her battery was dead. There was nothing amiss.

____

An hour later, I stood on a cold construction site with Geneva Dunsany, who, apart from a hard construction hat had dressed completely inappropriately for the weather.

As I went through each building explaining what was happening, telling her we were running over, a hopeful look, can she draw down more, how soon can she get it, where could she pull it from. Then let them watch.

I had to work at this, make her trust me. Dinners, sharing of pasts, attentive, make-believe. Never anything I couldn’t come back from, never putting me beyond Claire.

Ignoring her hand on my arm as she asked another nonsensical question about the depth of the Equine Swimming Pool, I forged ahead telling her a larger more expensive design would improve the horse's muscle tone faster, easier trained, quicker sold.

As usual, she bought it, another checkbox ticked.

More dinners, more lies, another set of ears listening and learning. Digging my way out piece by piece.

______

“Ian man, what is going on at home? I have been trying to get Claire on the phone this past two days.” I tried to hide the growing anxiety, Ian would think me daft, but I couldn’t stop it. I had to contact him. Had to know where Claire was.

In hindsight, I should have known instantly, Ian’s voice stuttered slightly, tone hesitant. “Jamie, how are ye, how’s Hellsville?”

I immediately dropped the façade I had planned upon, “what’s wrong with Claire’s phone Ian?”

Another pause.

“Em, I dinna think there is ought wrong with it, man…”

“Is she avoiding me?”

“I’d say that could be more accurate alright.”

Something registered about Ian’s vagueness, almost as bad as my own answers these past few weeks.

“Is Janet listening to ye?”

“Aye.”

“Can ye tell me what I have done to Claire?”

I heard muttering in the background.

“What did Jenny say?”

Another pause.

“She said yer a prick.”

My stomach turned.

“What the hell is wrong Ian, will ye no spit it out and tell Jenny to keep her nib out.”

Ian sighed deeply. “Geneva Dunsany answered yer phone.”

“She what?” I asked incredulously.

“She answered yer phone to Claire?”

My mind was whirling, palms wet. “Why the fuck would she – “

“In the wee hours of the morning” Ian whispered into the phone, I wasn’t sure to protect himself or me.

“When?” – I tried to think quickly, when had she access to my phone, god what was Claire thinking surely she would know I wouldn’t – fuck. I saw her then as clear as day, her face close enough I could touch it. Lips trembling slightly, her back set proudly. A tell she had when she was hardening herself not to cry. “Why Jamie?”

I rucked a hand through my hair, kicking something across the room, “Can you get Claire to talk to me?”

Ian either didn’t hear me or was choosing to ignore me. “She was doing braw Jamie, ye should ha seen her and the lad around the farm helping out, I actually think she mightha stayed…” he trailed off.

“Where is she?”

Suddenly there was shuffling, and Jenny’s voice came on the phone “a bràthair?

“Janet will ye tell Claire –“

“She sat at the table” – Jenny’s tone was nearer a growl “she was fierce, she dinna let Dougal cloud her mind when he insinuated that something was going on with ye and that Dunsany bitch.”

“Claire?” I asked stupidly

“Aye, who do ye think.” Jenny snapped.

“She held her head high and she dinna waiver, but then I said let’s ring Jamie, tell Jamie what the fuck wit of an uncle has been up to, thought we would all have a good laugh at it, I never thought that she would be answering yer fucking phone at 2 o clock in the morning Jamie!” Jenny’s tone was shrill, I knew it she was beyond mad, she was upset.

“Jenny, it’s not what ye think, I dinna ken what Geneva was playing at but – I.”

“Oh she kens exactly what she is playing at” Jenny said through gritted teeth, “She was cute enough to ring Dougal the next morning, told him that she answered yer phone to Claire, said ye were sorry Claire had to find out like that, had Dougal call to Claire in the cottage and do yer bidding .”

A sharp inhale of breath, “In – front – of – Willie” she said pointedly.

My mouth fell open, throat tightening painfully, that conniving bitch, how could I have been so stupid?

“He told Claire” I choked out, “that we were sorry? Jesus”

I said exhaling loudly. Flopping to the bed as my legs gave way.

A voice in the back of my mind kept saying, don’t forget their listening. I didn’t care, I had to know.

“Jenny”, I couldn’t hide the shake in my voice,

“Aye.” Her tone was softer now, her breathing starting to calm.

I swallowed painfully. “Where are Claire and Willie?”

My cheeks were wet, and my heart was thumping so hard I thought it would break through my ribs.

“they’re gone,” she said sorrowfully. “Jamie” – her tone was pleading - “Claire missed ye so much, but she put on such a brave face, the poor lass couldna stay here a day longer thinking ye had betrayed her.”

I pinched my eyes with my thumb and forefinger willing the tears to stop, I sniffed noisily. Jenny’s soft voice was murmuring comfort into the phone, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“Can ye explain it to her Jamie, maybe she will listen to ye…”

“that’s the worst of it Janet” I choked into the phone, “I canna explain it, just now.”

The softening sympathetic tone lacing Jenny's voice suddenly reverted to the shriller tone of earlier. “What do ye mean ye canna explain it? For god’s sake, Jamie do ye want to lose them?”

“Are ye mad Janet, of course, I dinna want that – I just need to think a minute will ye let me think.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line, breathing heavily through my nose as I racked my brain trying to come up with a way to tell Claire, to make her understand what was going on here.

Bile was rising up my throat as I imagined her reaction, what she thought of me, how she must hate me. Fear gripping my insides that I wouldn’t be able to change her mind.

Geneva had planned this, as I was busily conspiring against her and her family, she naively believed that if she removed Claire from the picture, there was something to be gained between her and me, that was my fault.

I had brought this on us, I had followed directions, played along to get the answers, didn’t rebuke unwarranted touches or flirtatious smiles. I had led Geneva to believe there was hope. I had left Claire, and I open to this, it didn’t matter that it was a lie, how would I ever explain this without telling her why?

How could I make her believe it was only her for me? That it was laughable, I would ever want Geneva Dunsany in any way.

I couldn’t go to her yet without sabotaging everything. If I left Geneva would never face the consequences of her action, all of this would have been for nothing.

There had been nothing but silence on the phone for a long time, Jenny just waited as if knowing I had to try and work out what I could say.

I… I need to ask something of you, Jenny?" I said, sometime later, my voice sounded different to my own ear, smaller, less almost.

“Yes,” she said without faltering.

“When ye can get through to Claire, will ye tell her two things from me.”

I heard Jenny swallow, and she hoarsely mumbled: “Aye Jamie, go on.”

“Tell her I love her, and tell her not to forget that I am her obligation, so she needs to try to keep her promise.”

Jenny remained silent, probably wondering what the hell I was going on about, but eventually, I heard static and her sure voice saying “Aye, I will a bràthair.”

If nothing else, the fear in my tone had achieved one thing. My sister believed me, without reason or explanation, she knew.

I hung up the phone, one thing clear in my mind. I had to get word to Claire. I couldn’t lose her.

#outlander fanfic #ourson #chp11

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imagineclaireandjamie · 6 years ago

Note

Imagine Jamie trying to teach Claire one of his other languages. ;)

This is one of my favorite head canons… Jamie patiently teaching Claire phrases in some language, him being sweet and encouraging, Claire being a little awed by him but not wanting to inflate the JAMMF ego by being super effusive about it. I am so here for this, anon! I hope this fits the bill.

xoxo,

Mod Kate

Lesson

“So, let me see if I’vegot the list down.”

Jamie tipped his head and raised his glass as if toencourage me. He was a sight to behold like this –– bathed in candlelight, a little bitintoxicated, a mischievous smirk on his lips, and red hair mussed by my rovinghands.

Despite his efforts to tame his locks, an errant curl continued to flop onto his forehead in an arc and over his eyebrow. When he blew it out of his eyes –– again and again –– his eyebrows pinched together and his lips pursed.

Recently committed to exclusivity, we had taken a longweekend holiday to Austria. After getting our fill of fried meat that crunched withgreasy and satisfying richness, fire-singed chimney cakes with gritty sugar andstuffed with berries and ice cream, chewy bready dumplings that felt heavy onthe tongue, and beer upon beer upon beer, we had nipped over to a liquor storefor whisky.

“Scots on holidays,” he had explained, holding the bag up and kissing me.

“Not Scottish,” I had reminded him, arching onto my tiptoes in a way that pulled at my calves.

His hand found the small of my back through my coat. “Ye may as well be when ye’re wi’ me..”

Together, we were planted on the floor of our rented apartment. We faced one another,sharing the bottle and allowing our eyes and mouths do some flirting.

I had been marveling at his ease speaking in German.

He hadnever once gotten a sideways look, asked for a menu in English, or imploredsomeone to slow down or repeat. He did not sound like a Scot speakingGerman. Rather, his accent seemed, at leastto my untrained ear, to be on par with the locals.

Glowing from alcohol, I told him all of this. He haddismissively commented that he had an ear for languages. It launched us into thecurrent discussion: a cataloging of the ones he could speak.

“You speak English.”

“Obviously, Sassenach.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I lost the battle,rolling them and earning a snort of amusement from him, before continuing mylist. “French. Gaelic.”

“Again, obvious.” His fingers drummed on his thigh and mineworked at a stray thread at the hem of my t-shirt, skin working over the tan linefrom my shorts. His mentee, a French kid, was a big part of his life. I heard him speak French with him before on the phone. Gaelic, well that one was pretty obvious. “Try for ones ye’ve never heard me speak…”

“Latin–” I started, unsure of where I’d go next.

“Ecclesiastical Latin, but aye. Latin.”

I made a face – asingle raised eyebrow, wide eyes, parted lips turned up at one corner as breathrushed out of me. I tried to sound as unimpressed as possible when I said, “Imean, we all get a small dose of Latin in church. You know… being Catholic.”

I reached out and pushed aside the errant curl he had been battling all day. His skin was warm, smooth under my fingers. The hair was slippery and soft, and begged me to sink all of my fingers in, to cup his scalp in my palm.

“How much Latin are we talking about?”

“Oh, well… I’m probably near fluent. But ye ken Church Latin’sno’ Classical Latin. There’s a wee bit of difference.”

This time, I was unable to rearrange my face into a neutralexpression. I had no clue what the difference was between the two. He read my confusion perfectly (I fought the urge to add “Claire’s facial expressions”to the litany of languages Jamie Fraser spoke fluently) and clarified.

“I can read Ciceroand Virgil. But the pronunciations are no’ the same when it’s spoken. What’s inthose works… it’s different from what I can speak, ye ken. A lot of thepronunciations in the Church Latin have come to match modern Italianpronunciations of words.”

“So, can you read, write, and speak Classical Latin? Just the pronunciations aren’t spot on...”

“Och, no.” He made adismissive sound, running a finger around the rim of his almost empty tumblerof whisky, eyes focused on the amber liquid. “My reading’s braw, I’m fair enough speaking and understand more than Ican say. But I’m no’ going to author anything any time soon. Besides, The Aeneid is beautiful enough and Idinna need to add epic poet to my CV.”

“Of course you’veread the classics in the original languages.”

At this, he smiled, the bare arch of his foot climbing upthe back of my calf.

God, I was awed byhim and I needed to quit letting it show. This was new enough that I was notsure how to be off balance with him.

Jamie poured another healthy dose ofwhisky into my empty glass, bathing the melting ice cubes in amber. Earlier, hehad chastised me about not taking my whisky neat, but relented and filled bothof our glasses with cubes.

“What about TheOdyssey?” I asked, truly curious.

“That’s in Homeric Greek and–”

“You speak Greek, too. That’sone I forgot.”

“Again, though. Classic Greek. I could navigate ye through fifth centuryAthens, have a conversation with Sophocles, but am no’ goin’ to be much use ona yacht island hopping.”

“Pity.”

“Yes, ye’d look bonny all stretched out on a yacht in the middle of a crystal sea, tanand oiled up.”

I ignored the suggestiveness in his tone and let thebutterflies in my stomach flutter away when I said, “Cities, countryside are more my thing. I’m not really one for island hopping.”

He snorted a displeased kind of noise. I decided to reroute us back to the conversation at hand.

“What am I missing?”

“German–”

“Obviously,” Ilaughed, mimicking his intonation and accent from earlier in ourconversation.

The earnestness onhis face when he said ‘German’ was almost enough to undo me. His hand wandered,filling itself with the curve of my waist beneath my t-shirt. I mirrored touch,slipping my own fingers under his t-shirt and flattening them against theslight swell of muscle at his flank.

“You instructed me to list ones I’ve never heard you speak.”

At this he, he tugged me to him, gathering me against him.In short order he fastened his lips to my pulse point and sucked slightly.Sighing and bringing my hands to his shoulders, I whispered, “What else?”

“Biblical Hebrew.”

My lips sought the warmth of his mouth and hovered justbarely over his.

“Spanish, though only speaking. Havena tried to read in it, definitely canna write in it.”

He was breathing through his mouth now and I was catching eachof his quickening exhalations. “And?”

“My Dutch is fair enough for a wild weekend in Amsterdam.”

I hummed, twining my fingers into his hair as he moved hislips to my jawline. “Teach me something.”

“Hmmm. Language of yer choice, Sassenach.”

I let my cheek find histemple as his tongue flicked out to taste the corner of my lips. When hewhispered a response, his breath was cool where his tongue had wet me.

“Tell mea language ye want to learn.”

“Gaelic… teach me something in Gaelic.”

“What do ye want to ken in Gaelic?”

He mumbled something in said language against my skin, mouthjust below my earlobe. “Enough to know when you are sweet talking me.”

A Scottish noise, low in his throat. “It’s safe to say that if I’m speaking in Gaelic to ye, it’s sweet talking.”

Suspicions confirmed, I sighed a little, fingers tangling in his hair as they’d been wanting to all day.

“We can start with ‘ledthoil.’”

I tested the words, my pronunciation apparently abhorrent enoughthat it earned a low chuckle. It vibrated in his belly. His fingers slid underthe hem of my t-shirt and came to rest over my belly.

“What does it mean?”

“Please,” he said plainly, thumb traveling a circuit over myhipbone. “Ye can use it with me when ye beg me to finish ye off later on.”

“Not bloody likely,” I mumbled, fighting the urge to archinto his fingers. It was a battle of wills –– the two of us stubborn and tryingto bring the other to heel. “Led thoil.”

This time, I earned a hum of approval. “Verra good.”

“I’m a fast learner,” I mumbled, admitting to myself that myvision was blurring at the periphery as both of his hands ran along the curvesof my hips.

“Aye, ye are.” He wet his lower lip with quick slip of his darting tongue. The words that could come out of that mouth in an entire litany oflanguages threatened to make me swoon. “Ready for yer next phrase, then?”

Nodding, I pulled his hair a little to tilt his head andposition his mouth back near mine.

When he said “bu toilleam glainne fion dearg?” his voice lifted on the end just enough for me torealize the phrase was a question.

“That’s a lot, Fraser.”

“It’s how ye can order a glass of red wine.”

“Why do I need to know that? You will never say that to me and there aren’t really any monolingual folksin Scotland.”

“Ye’ve asked to learn, Sassenach.”

He raised and eyebrow and slowed when he repeated thephrase, taking his time with each word. He shifted, leaning back against thebed and assumed an appropriate, professional distance from me. I sat cross-legged and just stared, watchinghim raise a knee, balance his elbow, and rest his cheek on his fist. My empty hands longed to be filled with his hair.

When I raised an eyebrow, he again read me perfectly andjust said, “Ye’re m’student right now. This is a matter of pedagogical... nay... professionalresponsibility.”

When minutes later I finally strung the phrase together, hegrinned and said, “Perfect.”

I dispatched with the praise for mastery of the phrase and lifted my shirt over myhead, crawling towards him on all fours, whispering, “Another.”

Eyebrows raised, he obliged. “Calman geal.”

“Calman geal,” Imimicked as I drew up beside him and moved to straddle his thighs. His fingers were quick with the clasp on my bra and I slipped it down over my arms, letting it fall between us. “Definition,please.”

“White dove.” Awarm palm skated from my hip to my breast, his eyes not leaving mine. “Allbathed in moonlight, that’s what ye are to me. A white dove. My white dove.”

“Calman geal,” Irepeated, bringing my lips to the corner of his mouth and fingers to his hips.

Later, his fingers working over the sweat-heavy curls at thenape of my neck, he whispered it again and again. Just as my mind crossed theprecipice to sleep, I heard him whisper something.

“Huh?” I intoned, somewhat sleepily. When he did not answer,I whispered, “What is it, love?”

“Och, I can say things to ye that would be daft and sillywaking, and your dreams will know the truth of them.”

“Tell me,” I asked quietly, needing to know.

A pause. A fullbreath –– inhale and exhale. Asigh. A confession: “Just that… there’sno’ a language I ken that has the words that let me tell ye fully how much Ilove ye, Claire.”

Needing to be closer, I arched into him, my cheek pressedover his riotous heart and absorbing each beat. “I know.”

#;mod Kate

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celticbarb · 3 years ago

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Book: Bride of Mist

By Glynnis Campbell

Series: The Warrior Daughters of Rivenloch, Book Three

Overall Book Review Rating: 5 Stars

Blog Review Rating: 5 Saltire Flags

A decade ago, the depraved and resentful teenage brothers, Fergus and Morris mac Giric were exiled from their clan. It was for the horrific beating of an innocent ten year old orphan, Colban ( Bride of Ice) who was under Laird’s protection. This crime was reported by the laird’s son Morgan, (Bride of Fire). This was all due to their petty jealousy of Colban’s close friendship with the Laird’s son, which would remain true through adulthood. As even in their future as men, Colban will become Morgan’s right hand who will eventually be the mac Giric Laird. Now since these two black hearted brothers were exiled from the clan forever, the brothers plan to get their revenge one day and destroy Moran mac Giric, this also includes the entire mac Giric clan! So to hide their true identity they now call themselves the Fortanach brothers planning to take whatever they desire whenever they can!

Dougal mac Darragh does not know why his father made his brother the Laird. As his brother Gaufrid is useless he can’t read, do the accounts and knows nothing about leading a clan! Now it seems Gaufrid has put a price on his own brother’s head! This mac Darragh Laird also enjoys drinking spirits, bullying people, seducing innocents and keeping company with those depraved Fortanach brothers! Fergus and Morris who were definitely a bad influence, not that his useless brother needs much help in that area, yet they lead him further down the black hole of dishonor, debauchery, and destruction!As they only gamble, cheat, steal, fight, womanize and abuse clan members every chance they get! Plus everyone from villagers to servants fear their Laird he wasn’t a man to honor and protect his clan as he should!

Soon the Fortanach brothers fabricate a story, leaving false evidence that makes it look like the mac Giric clan did this horrifying crime! When Dougal sees his entire village was slaughtered in the most diabolical and atrocious way possible he goes totally Viking bezerk with insane anger! He runs over everyone in his path, making him go bezerk thinking it was the mac Giric clan not realizing it was the Rivenloch Warriors! When he realizes his mistake, as he realizes he has just murdered a lass thinking her a man. He is now filled with so much guilt and remorse feeling like a depraved monster as he would never ever raise his hand to any woman ever! Had he known she was a woman he would of backed away immediately -of this he has no doubt! However, things are not the way Dougal thinks and he is filled with so much hatred toward himself he is not thinking straight. This includes not realizing the lass he thinks he just killed that her tracker and weapons expert cousin is now following him!

Feiyan la Nuitfey has murder on her mind!She is the smallest of the Rivenloch maiden warriors, and is used to going unnoticed which makes her a grander tracker and spy. In addition she has an arsenal of weapons on her person which is like a second skin to her. However she has a difficult time completing this task, as she even kills her prey with honor! Dougal has very little options, he soon realizes his mistake so he must take Feiyan and hold her for ransom as his captive as it’s the only way to save his clan.

For Feiyan she delayed killing him not because he is the bonniest lad she has ever seen in her whole entire life! The true reason is she doesn’t understand him as his personality is a total contradiction! Dougal mac Darragh seems to be a kind, caring and honorable man, not the hardened-cutthroat she was expecting which is very confusing to Feiyan. Dougal soon realizes he has very little options and soon realizes his mistake. Realizing he must take Feiyan and hold her for ransom as his captive. It is the only way to keep his clan safe. Eventually Feiyan realizes the truth and why he isn’t a mass cutthroat at all, but a braw, honorable, caring and protective man with a broken heart. They soon realize they have to remain on the same side of the battle to win this war with their true enemy, not only the Rivenloch’s but her cousin’s husbands of the mac Giric clan too, who is the true target! Yes during this time two hearts open, but is it a short lived fleeting love or one that will last forever? Read and discover the fates of Feiyan la Nuit and Dougal mac Darragh!

Glynnis Campbell pens another riveting, page turning, action packed, romantic-adventure, that kept me up late into the night. This one is filled with so much betrayal , deception and revenge, my head was spinning! Again Campbell’s storytelling ability just blew me away, with so many twists and turns that had me gasping with delight, yet never knowing what was about to happen as I turned each page! Again she kept her brilliant charm and wit in the story, something I have learned to recognize over the years reading her marvelous books. A book I absolutely highly recommend as she truly is a rockstar author!

The Warrior Daughters of Rivenlocch

By Glynnis Campbell

1)Bride of Fire - Jenefer & Morgan

2)Bride of Ice - Hallidis & Colban

3) Bride of Mist - Feiyan & Dougal

The Warrior Rivenloch Series) by Glynnis Campbell or Sarah McKerrigan, Kira Morgan if you own older books under her former pen names.

The Warrior Maids of Rivenloch

1.Lady Danger - Deidre

2.Captive Heart - Helena

3.Knight’s Prize - Miriel

4.Yuletide Kiss - Kimberly

5. The Shipwreck - Avril

I received a complimentary ARC copy from the author. I voluntarily agreed to read, review and blog an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts, ideas and opinions are my own.

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 6 The Highlands

The children are placed in one room, still asleep. Their father and step-father guard them while their mams get a bit of rest. Ian is having a talk with the farm hands explaining the situation and the security steps that will be put in place.

“This was a grand idea. This place can be easily defended.” Alex says as they sit outside the doors where the children and wife’s sleep.

“Aye. All our employees can be trusted. No stranger will get through here without a fight.” He adjusts his body and looks back at the doors. “The windows are secured. There will be a man at the ground level under them.”

“Good. They will pick him up soon, you think?”

“Aye. It will be holding him that will be the issue. The man is a millionaire several times over. No bond will hold him.” He sighs. “Ned warned me but I arrogantly thought the power of the press would hold him at bay.”

“Look Jamie you did as you had too. He is bad news. His control of the major had to be exposed.”

“Aye. But at what cost?”

“They are safe. They will remain so.” He studies him carefully in the early morning light. “You aren’t thinking of writing a retraction are you?”

His smile is sarcastic. “It is already written in my head.”

“You mustn't. If you do, this will happen whenever anyone prints anything that threatens the shadow government. No Jamie! Print this. The threat to our families, so he knows this won't work. Double down. He can't be allowed to succeed.”

“You are right Alex. With them safe, that is exactly what I need to do. I thank you for being another person my daughter can look to for protection. Her and Mary.”

“Claire and Boyd too. As well as Julia. We are all family, aren't we?”

“To right.” Julia herself says. She had been helping Jenny with breakfast. “We are. This is a safe place. You can feel it.” She looks towards the closed doors. “Breakfast is ready. Shall we wake them?”

“Aye. They need to eat. The bairns will be surprised to wake up here. Will you go get them while Alex and I wake our wife’s?”

“I would be pleased to.”

They are all soon gathered around the breakfast table, including the sleepy children. “”I am glad we are here da. I told Boyd that the bad man canna get us here.”

“We will see to it.” Her Uncle Ian says. “Boyd, we have all the big strong men who work here on the hunt for him. I promise, you and your mam are safe here.”

“Thank you Uncle Ian. Thank you Aunt Jenny for the breakfast.”

“You are welcome. Thank your grammy too. She helped.”

“Thank you granny. Are you staying here with us also?”

“I am. We are all going to stay here. One big family to keep you and Jane safe.”

“Brilliant.” He smiles at them all before leaning against his mum.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #the highlands #outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au.#cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 3 Wedding Night ( Eager)

“In a bit of a hurry?” she inquires through her laughter.

“Aye Mrs. Fraser. Very.” He agrees with a growl as he re-takes her lips as the carriage, powered by horses breed at Lallybroch speed towards the old croft on the end of the property. She melts into it knowing they can't be seen. The carriage driver, his cousin Rupert, keeps his eyes straight ahead. They are both eager after a month's celibacy. Her hands drift toward the front of his kilt, eager to see if he went full Scot. He pushes them away.

“But Jamie,” she almost whines.

“A few more minutes. I dinna wish to take you in the carriage. May spook the horses.”

A few more minutes spent in increasingly deep, franic kisses. But they keep their roving hands off the parts most anxious to be touched.

“We be here cousin.” Rupert finally breaks through the haze of lust. Jamie pulls away with a groan, carefully makes his way out of the carriage, thanks Rupert, and then lifts his bride off and into his arms. He carries her to the small croft, already stocked with what they need. He opens the door and carries her over the threshold.

A huge room with a fireplace, already going, and a king size bed in the center. On either side are a modern kitchen and bathroom. But the main room is designed to be as old as Lallybroch herself.

“Oh Jamie, it is esquist.” She is charmed. He sits her on her feet. “Loo to the left. Kitchen to the right.”

“Is my bag here?”

“Aye, in the bathroom.”

“I will be right back husband.

“Aye dinna be long mo bhean.”

“I won't.” She is thankful her gown was designed to slip over her head without a ton of buttons or clasp to fuss with. She carefully slips it up and off. Someone had left a dry clean bag hanging on the wall. She smiles at their thoughtfulness as she slips the gown in it. She then watches the heavy make-up off and slips her hair down. Slipping into the barely there robe, she smiles. It is short, barely closes around her breasts, see through trimmed in lace. She ties the ribbon under her breasts that holds it together. She then slips out to find her husband.

He had been preparing too. Removing the sporeen, sword, tarden, and linen shirt. He also unlaces and slips of the boots and old stockings. Leaving only the belt and kilt on, as Claire his wife seems fascinated by it. He looks up as she walks in and loses the ability to speak as every drop of blood leaves his head.

“Like?” asks as she walks closer.

“A Dhai!” he groans.

“I take that as a yes.” He removes the rest of the distance between by pulling her flush against him.

“Aye,” he moans in agreement as he pulls his head up to kiss her. Sweet possession and deep eternal love is found in that kiss. His hands roam freely over the places they couldn’t early. She finally finds her way to his kilt.

“Oh,” breathed out as he licks across her neck. “You have went full Scott, Mr. Fraser.”

“For you. I was covered for our wedding Mrs. Fraser. No need to flash our guest.”

“I approve.”

“As I do of your gown.” His hands cup her breast over it, playing with her erect nipples. “You have the most cíochan breagha.” He growls as he turns her so her back is against his chest and he can fully explore her breasts and neck. Soft sucks on her neck as his hands work under her robe kneeded and pulling as his withers against his erection.

“Jamie,” his name, breathlessly said is all she knows as he twirls her back around and unties her ribbon. She unbuckles his belt. It falls with a clatter, unheard over the blood rushing through her ears. Her robe drift to the floor joining his kilt.

He lifts her up and her legs wrap around his waist. His strength is a constant surprise. He lowers his head, drawing her nipple deep into his mouth. Now her keens and purrs are without words. His erection presses against her. She moves one hand from around his neck knowing he has her and, works it between them. An idea that she isn’t sure will work but. She takes him in hand, and using her other hand, pushes up a bit. She guides him to soaked sex and guides him into her.

“Holy hell!” Jamie cries out as he feels her walls clamp around him. He lowers her down and up as he watches her eyes. She is close and willing to take just what she needs. He is awed by her. The slow pace is making them both crazy but he is determined to see her cum in this position. He can’t move his hands of her waist and bum but… He lowers his head and lets his tongue catch those nipples on the upward slide.

“Oh close! Yes. Oh Jamie.” A few slides and he watches and feels that sweet pleasure run through her. He then walks them over to the bed, laying he down before re-entering her, with a deep thrust. Her hands grab his bum pressing him closer. She lifts herself up to meet each thrusts. He cries out words of love, her name, and God yes as he gets close. She raises back with him and they climax together.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #weddin night ( eager)#outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 2 Reception

They walk into Lallybroch, where the reception was being held, following their children. A cheer goes up. They smile at each other as they are lead to a table set in the front of the great room. They sit in the middle seats with the children on each side. Food is served. Neither are hungry for naught but each other. But now they need to eat to have the energy to do what they both long to do. Besides, as the guests of honor, they need to be hospitable. The children have no issues and eagerly dig into the salmon. They are blessed the bairns are not picky eaters.

Jamie feeds Claire pieces of it. She returns the favor as the photographer snaps away. They decided not to take but one formal picture but have the rest be casual snapshots. He lifts her to her feet, after she kicks off her shoes, and leads her onto the dance floor. They moved around the small space, close enough that it didn't make a difference how big the space is. They kiss and touch as they glide around the room.

“I love you Mrs. Fraser.”

“I love you Jamie. How much longer do we need to stay here?”

“Eager?” he teases as he pulls her closer.

“As eager as you are.” His kilt can't hide his desire.

“Aye, I long to have you naked and spread out under me but, we need to do cake, or the bairn's will be disappointed. I also long to take your corset off.” He confesses raising every hair on her body.

“Then let's get on with it.” He laughs and moves her over to were the cake is. Boyd and Jane come and join them. As there guests gather around them, they take the knife and slice through it. Pictures are taken as they serve their children then themselves. He licks her fingers as he excepts her offered bite.

“Christ Jamie,” she whispers. He chuckles. They then move on to her throwing the banquet. The single lasses gather. She turns around and tosses it over her back. A squeal as one of the young Mackenzie lasses catches it. Then it is Jamie's turn. She smiles at the surprise she has for him.

He sits her down as the single men gather around him. He grins as his hand slips up his wife’s thigh. He finds it way up on her thigh. He gasp when he feels what is missing. A hoarse whisper,”Claire, where are your knickers?”

“When in Rome, easier also.”

He jerks it down, smiles at the tarden design, before tossing it over his shoulder. He doesn’t wait around to see who caught it. He jerks her to her feet, picks her up, and heads towards the exit.

Their stunned guests quickly gather with the bird seed and shower them as Jamie hurries her to the waiting carriage. They leave with a cheer.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #reception #outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 10 Home and Family

She smiles down at her daughter. Rowen Julia Ellen, nurses contently. She strokes her red hair as her blue eyes meet hers. A month old today, they had found out she was on the way a few months after officially moving into Lallybroch.

Mary had been in agreement with her daughter. She was meet to be here. So, she and Alex moved closer, to a town only a half hours ride away. It makes co-parenting much easier. Jane is with them half the time, with her mam and Alex the other half of the time. Jane was here now, fascinated by her new sister.

She hadn’t meet to be having another child so soon. But, they were very excited with their coming child. She loved her son and step-daughter madly so to be adding another child, a daughter to the mix, is a blessing.

“Hungry again?” Jamie joins her from seeing to the animals with his older bairns help.

“She is a Fraser.” She teases. He laughs as their daughter slips off her mam's nipple, milk drunk with a lazy smile on her face.

“Aye. Look at her mo ghaol. She is so beautiful.”

“Yes. You and me.” She hands her to her daddy and he lifts her to his shoulder and starts to softly rub her back, searching for a burb.

“Da, is Rowen awake? We want to read her a story.” Jane asks as she comes up to the porch where they sit.

“Aye Jane. Go get your book.” He smiles at Boyd and the lad joins him on the swing. Jane returns with a book and takes a seat on his other side. Claire, sitting on the rocker, watches with teary eyes as her children read and are read too. She catches her husband’s eye. They communicate their love and blessing for each other and their children.

The end

#my writing #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #modern au #a braw day arc two #home and family #the end

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 5 Safe

His wife curls up around her son and he curls around them. She hadn't stopped shaken and had been sick a few times since they had received the news. He doesn’t blame her. Someone had threatened his children.

He meant what he told her. If need be he would take care of him. He prays it doesn’t come to that. But, no one will harm his daughter or son. Period.

On that note, he has an idea. A place they can all go, including Mary and Alex, to keep them safe until the bloody bastard is dealt with. Her mum too. He needs to make some phone calls but moving away from them is hard.

Finally, he makes himself move. Picking up his cell, he rings his sister. “Jenny, are you up for some houseguests?” He explains what’s going on. Quite colorful curses, on Gaelic and English follow.

“Get yourselves here right now. I will get the bed rooms prepared.”

“Thank you.”

He rings his ex and tells her the plan. She is relieved and tells him she will be ready in an hour. Next he calls his mother-in-law. Claire had called her hysterically a few hours ago. He explains what he had set in motion. She is similarly relieved.

“I will meet you out front of the building in an hour. Thank you for seeing to my hearts.”

“They are mine too. As are you. I will see you then.” Now to tell Claire.

“Baby.” She awakes with a jerk. “It is okay but you must wake up. We have to leave in an hour.”

“Leave. Where?”

“I have arranged for us, Jane, Mary, Alex, and Julia to stay at Lallybroch until this is taken care of. With the bairns out of school, we can all work from home. I should have asks you but I needed to see you safe. All of you.”

“That is perfect. I couldn’t think.. I just..”

“Have a husband, a partner. You don't have the world just on your shoulders now.”

“I love you. Let's pack.”

An hour later, they load the sleepy children into the car. A caravan of three cars head out of town towards the safety of the Highlands.

#my writer #a braw day arc two #safe #outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 1 A Very Scottish Wedding

As promised, a second arc to A Brawl Day( with Braw spelled correctly). We start with a wedding.

She stands, in her gown. White with accents of plaid. She had agreed to his request for a Scottish wedding. She wants to see him decked out as the Viking warrior that flows through his blood. Wants to see Boyd in a kilt. But mostly because neither had the wedding they wished for the first time. Her and Frank had married at the registrar, he and Mary had also eloped with Jane already on the way.

She wants all the finery, the to do of being a bride. His traditions are more fun then her staid English one's so… She smiles even her corset is plaid, tucked high on her thigh. She feels a bit warm at the thought of him taken it off. They have been celibate over the last month to make tonight special.

Her hair and Jane's are decorated with thistles and forget-me-nots. She will carry the same. The wedding party is simple, just them and their children. Her mum will escort her down the aisle. She smiles down at her soon to be step daughter.

“You are quite lovely Jane.”

“Thank you. You are beautiful Mam Claire.” She hugs her carefully to her side.

Her mum comes in. “The lads are ready. Lord you are both so beautiful.”

“Thank you. Is he nervous?”

“Yes but he will be fine once he sees you. Ready? Jane, Boyd is right outside the doors to the sanctuary. Recall a slow march?”

“Aye Granny Beauchamp.” She smiles at the little girl with affection. Gaining both a son and granddaughter today. They all step that way. They bagpiper, playing the Wedding song, fires Claire's blood. The doors are opened and Boyd takes his sister's arm and they step out. A soft ‘ahhh' greets their appearance.

Claire holds her mum's hand as the bagpipe changes to the wedding march. They step out.

He knew she would be lovely. But she takes his breath as the bairns take their places one on each side of him. Her hears the soft sound of awe from their guests. The white dress, his clan's colors around her waist, the flowers worked through her curls.

She is as equally awed. Jamie of the jeans and t's is now Jamie the Highland warrior. The kilt, the white linen shirt, the boots, the tarden tucked over his shoulder, the sporeen, where she knows their rings rest, a blasted sword on his side. She feels a bit faint at the sight of him. Her mum's hand keeps her steady.

They make it to him. Her mum kisses her hand before placing it in his. “Who gives this lass to be married to this lad?” Father O’Brien asks.

“Her son and I do.” She takes a seat next to Mary who smiles at her through her own tears. To see Jamie as happy as she was when marrying Alex…

“We are gathered here..” After the good Father welcomes them to the ceremony, he turns the service over to the couple. “Jamie and Claire have their own vows for each other. Claire?”

She tightens her grip on his hand. “I wasn't looking for you. I thought I had this all under control. Didn't think I needed anyone. But as you pointed out, there is a difference between want and need. I want you Jamie. I want you as my husband. I want you as Boyd's daddy. I want to be a grand step-mam to our daughter. I want to have a child with you. I want to grow old with you, see our grandbabies. Hold your hand until God parts us. I need you Jamie more then I have ever needed anyone before. I love you more then I ever thought possible. You fill a spot in my life and heart I never knew was empty. I commit to be a partner, lover, co-parent, friend, and anything else you need.”

“Oh Claire! I love you so much. God alone knows what I did to deserve you. To deserve the opportunity to be a daddy to sweet Boyd. My life was my job and my daughter. A good life but not a complete one until I saw you. It was like a bolt of lightning. I was gone. Yours from that moment on. I promise to be you and Boyd's protector, supporter, champion, for as long as I draw breath. You will have my name, my clan, my body. To you, my wife, I promise to be a lover, a partner, a helper, a friend. To always have a listening ear. To always be who you need. I love you.”

“Now the couple wish to also be joined in the auld way.” Father O’Brien says. Boyd steps up, and as Jamie had taught him, binds their wrist together with the Fraser colored cloth.

“Repeat after me,” Jamie instructs. She does. “You are blood of my blood, bone of my bone. I give you my body so us two may be one. I give you my spirit until our lives be done.”

Her mum is on the verge of tears at that. What they do next has her freely weeping.

“The Fraser's aren't just combining as a couple but as a family.” The priest says. Then Jamie bends down by Boyd.

“I also take you, Boyd Samuel, as my son. I will be the dad and friend you need. To remind you of my promise,” he pulls a small sheathed knife out of his sporeen. “It is t skin-do. The smallest knife a Highlander carries. As you get older, and with your mum's permission, I will teach you how to use it.” He places it in his hand. “I love you son.”

“Oh wow! I love you too da.” The entire congregation is in tears by this point. Then Claire carefully kneels by Jane.

“Jane Kathleen, I know you have a wonderful mum. I will never take her place. But, I want you to know, that I will always be here for you. As a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, for advise, hugs, well, whatever you need. You are so much more then my step-daughter. So, I give you this,” She open her hand to a small diamond necklace. “to remind you that you are as much family as Boyd is.”

“Mam Claire!” she lifts it up as they both cry. “will you put it on me?” She does and they hug. She stands back up and Jamie places the rings, silver and gold bands with thistles over them, on the bible. They are blessed. Placed on each others fingers.

“It is my pleasure to present Mr. And Mrs. Fraser and family. Kiss her Jamie.” He does with passion as a cheer arises.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #a very scottish wedding #as promised #outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Caught

Everyone slowly adjusted to being in partial lockdown. The children knew they could only go out with an adult. The adults found various corners of the huge estate to be alone and to work. Claire is designing a children’s hospital. Jamie, taken the advise giving, doubles down and calls out the bloody bastard for his threats to his family. The bairns are required to read and do some other school work each day.

“But Auntie Jenny. It is summer.” Jane protests.

“Aye and no bairn in this family is going to fall behind.” She points back to the paper filled with math problems. Jane sighs but returns to it.

The farm hands do their chores and keep on the look-out. They know to report any strangers to Jamie or Ian immediately.

One day, almost three weeks after Jamie and his family arrived, they have something to report.

“Master Jamie, there be a man sneaking about the older fence.” Simon, one the most farm hands they have, comes up to tell him. He stands, after automatically saving his work, and comes up to him.

“But not on this side?”

“No. But Neil be watching.”

“Very good.” He walks out trailed by Simon and goes to find his wife, Mary, and sister. “Keep the bairns inside and stay inside yourselves.”

“What is it Jamie?” Claire asks, half standing.

“We have a visitor. Lurking around the outer fence. Jenny, where is Ian?”

“The barn. Shouldn’t you ring the police?”

“Let's see what he is about first. Claire, your mam?”

“In teaching the children how to make her famous crisps.” He nods. “You will be careful?”

“Aye. Always.” He comes up and gently kisses her. “We will back soon.”

Leaving his nervous bride behind, he hurries to the barn with Simon. They inform him about what is going on and, lead by Simon, head out to have a talk with the stranger.

“He is right over there.” Neil nods to the brush that surrounds the outer perimeter of Lallybroch. Jamie and Ian nod their thanks and head that way. He is kneeling in the brushes, a camera hanging from his neck. He has a binocular held up to his eyes. Jamie and Ian each take a side.

“Offf!” He groans out at the two heavy hands coming down on his shoulders. He looks up at the stormy eyes of two very pissed off Scottish fathers and husbands.

“Care to explain what you’re doing bloke?” Ian, slightly calmer, inquires.

“I ahhhh.”

“So Randall didn’t give you an answer to the question you would be asked when you were caught.” Jamie sneers. He jerks his camera off his neck, breaking the strap. “Listen lad, if there is any pictures of my family on here, I will break you in two.”

“You can't be threatening me!” he finds his voice but it comes out indignant and a bit whiny.

“Can't I? You are on my land. I doubt none but Randall ken's ye are here. So, we could kill ye and bury ye without anyone ken'ing. So, care to answer our questions?”

He quite deliberately closes his mouth. Jamie just shakes his head.

“You do know your boss won't rescue you. He sends others out to dirty their hands but keeps his clean. Your only hope is to talk to us then the police.” Ian advises.

“I don't know what you are talking about.”

“Let's see what your camera has to say.” Jamie starts to scroll through the pictures.

“You can't do that! It is mine.” He whines.

“Please boy. I can do whatever I want. No shut up unless you are ready to talk of Black Jack Randall.” He continues to scroll. He has pictures of the farm hands, the guards, the land. Then he saw pictures of Claire and Mary, on the stoop. The bairns with him, Ian, and their grandma. Alex and Jenny. Julia alone. Him and Ian. Other combos of his family. He lowers it and slowly turns to the stranger. “I warned you.”

“Jamie. It is evidence. That and the binoculars. Let's call the police.” Ian watches the rage run over him.

“Aye.” He hands the camera to his brother and clasps his hand down on the bloke's shoulder, hard, as he rings the authorities.

An hour later, they had him taken away along with his spying gear. He is confessing before they even get him in the squad car. The police assure them that his confession will be used as evidence to increase the charges against him.

“We will try to get the bond revoked.” The head detective assures them. “Will you be here?”

“Aye until he is locked tightly up.” Jamie answers.

“Very good.”

He and Ian head back. When they enter the house, their wifes almost knock them over with their hugs. They hold them close and explain what happened.

“So they might be able to keep him locked up?” Claire asks.

“That is the hope.”

“Thank God!”

“Amen.” Jenny and Mary agree.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #modern au #a braw day arc two #caughr

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 4 Honeymoon Interrupted

They spend the day in bed only getting up when they had to. They have five days so the figure they can sight see later. They don't realize that events are happening that will soon put a quick halt to their honeymoon.

Mary had the children. They are good bairns even with Boyd and Jane now acting more like the siblings they are then just mates. “Why I didn’t have more then one.” She comments to Alex as they bicker over who's turn it is to go get the post. “Go together.” She puts an end to this particular fight.

They leave to do it, sticking their tongues out at each other. The post boxes are just down the hall. She doesn’t worry about them. She should.

He steps out of the shadows and grabs Boyd's arm. Before Jane can scream, he whispers,” I’ll kill him. Listen I've a message for your da. You tell him to make it right. Print a correction. Got that?”

“A corr~ ection!” she stutters.

“Just so. Or the next time I won't leave either of you brats to talk.” He releases Boyd and slips back into the shadows. They stare at each other before joining hands and running.

He was just returning from fetching them tea when his cell rings. He frowns when he sees Mary's number. She wouldn’t call unless it was an emergency. He enters the room before answering it.

“You and Claire must come home now!” her frantic voice cries out. “He threatened the children!”

“Who threatened the children?” Claire jumps off the bed and comes to him.

“What?” He flips on speaker.

“I sent them to get the post. I thought it safe. It always was. He grabbed Boyd.” A gasp from Claire. “Threatened his life if Jane screamed. Told her to tell you to make it right. Print a correction. Said if you didn’t,” her she breaks down, “ they wouldn’t be left to speak.”

“Oh Jesus!” from Claire.

“

“That bloody f*cker!” from Jamie. “Have you rang the bobbies? How are the children?”

“Yes, of course. They gave them a description. They are shaky. I put them to bed. Alex is guarding them.”

“We are on the way. God Mary, I am sorry.”

“Just hurry, okay?” She doesn’t have to ask him that.

She is already packing. Her hands shake as she haphazardly stuffs their clothes back into bags.

“Alex is guarding them. The bobbies have been there.” He tries reassuring.

“Who would dare threaten our children?” she asks as tears of fear start to fall. He has his suspicion but wants to get more information before saying.

“Whoever it is, we will get him. I swear it.” He gathers up the packed bags and draws her close with his other arm. “No one gets away with threatening our bairns.”

“I have to get to them, to him.” He nods. The bags are thrown in the boot next to the forgotten tea supplies. They enter the car and speed off.

They make it in record time. They run up to Mary's flat. She jerks the door open and falls, sobbing into his arms. He holds her for just a few seconds. He needs to see his daughter and son. They do. Holding tight to each others hands, they rush there.

They sleep, tangled up together. Dried tears on both little faces. Claire drops down and lays down beside them. She enfolds them in her arms. Jamie sits on the other side as the rage grows. Someone threatened his family. Someone will regret it.. He leaves Claire with the bairns and goes to get a full report from Alex and Mary.

“Angry man is what she first said.” A shaken Alex says. Mary sits close to him. “The bobbie was good. Patient. She drew more details out. Short dark hair. Scrowly face. About my height. Talked like mam Claire.”

“English.” He now knows. “The bobbies number?” Alex hands it to him. He quickly rings them. He tells him what he suspects. “The mayor said he would kill us all. I didn't take it seriously enough. He matches my daughter’s description. Right. No they will be under constant guard. Thank you.”

“Are you going to explain Jamie?” Mary asks. He looks up and sees Claire too. He holds his hand out to her. She joins him and he draws her onto his lap.

“A bloke named Jonathan Randall, called Black Jack, a mobster. I wrote an article exposing the corruption between the mayor and him.”

“I recall.” Alex says.

“Now this mobster is after Jane!”

“Aye Mary and Boyd. But he won't get to them. I swear it. The bobbies will pick him up.”

“If they don't?”

“Then I will deal with him.” He vows.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #honeymoon interrupted #outlander fanfic #outlander fandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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renee-writer · 4 years ago

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A Braw Day Arc Two Chapter 7 Outside

“Mum, may Jane and I go outside to play? We want to see the animals.” Boyd asks. They have been at Lallybroch almost a week and they are getting a bit stir crazy. Her first response is an automatic ‘no'. He had been picked up but released on bond. Before she can answer, Jamie is there.

“I will keep them close. They will be in arms length at all times. I swear it.”

“Oh God!” She trust him, of course, it is just..

“I know. But they need fresh air and sunshine. It isn’t healthy to be cooped up inside all the time. Breathing in the same air. Come, sit on the front stoop. You need fresh air too, mo bhean. You can watch them also. You and Mary.”

“She agrees?”

“She is verra nervous too but aye. She does.”

“Oh lord. Okay.”

They children cry out with excitement. She tries to smile at them. “I promise. It will be alright.” They run to get their shoes and jackets on. She bites at her lip as she watches them.

“I wish Alex and Ian were here. More eyes.” She admits. They went into town to get supplies and check on the status of the case against bloody Randall.

“I know but you know there isn't a farm hand here that won't stand up to protect them?”

“I do know that.”

“I will lay down my life for them.”

“You are an excellent father and husband. We are blessed to have you.” She kisses him. He kisses her back with a soft groan.

“Ewww mam, they are kissing again.” Jane complains to Mary.

“One day you will understand.” She says with a laugh.

“But not to soon.” Jamie pleads as he lifts off her lips. “Are you two ready?”

“Yah!” echoes back.

“Okay. We have some rules.” God, he hates to scare them but it is necessary. “We all three stay together. I need to be able to put my hand out and grab you. Running off, unless directed, will be punished by a spanking. If I tell you to run, we don't hesitate. Your mam's will be on the stoop. I say run, you head to them. As fast as you can. We are not running for any other reason. We walk from place to place. When this is all over, we will have the world’s longest game of tag. Okay?”

“Yes da,” they respond.

“Good. Now lets go see the animals.” He takes one by each of his hands and they walk out. Mary and Claire follow.

The horses are in the paddock. They are also keep near the house, to their frustration. They worry he may send people to harm them since he cannot get to the humans.

“Mr. Fraser, children,” the farm hand, nods to them.. “Come to watch the horses get exercised?”

“Aye. Getting these guys some fresh air. They wanted to see the animals.” He nods understanding. Another of the farm hands went to stand behind them, facing out as Jamie places Jane and Boyd, on the fence. He stands with a hand on each of their backs.

They start to lead the restless animals around the circle as the children watch. Boyd, who had been raised in the city, watches with wide eyes.

“They are so big! I never knew they were so big da.”

“Aye son. The biggest stands almost twenty hands.”

He looks at his own hands and the adults laugh.

“That is our hands.” Jamie explains.

“Oh, that is big indeed.” Boyd knows how big his new dads hands are. He had felt them in comfort and discipline.

They lead one of the gentler ones over to them so the bairns can touch him.

“Oh, he is so soft.” Boyd runs his hand down his flank. The horse leans into him. “and he likes me!”

“He does.” Jane says running her hand over his head. “They know good people. Do you know how to ride Boyd?”

“No I never..”

“No worries mo mac. I will teach you after this is over.” He looks at his new dad with shiny eyes.

He takes them to see the goats. “Mind your jackets. They will try to eat them.” The pigs. “Watch out for the white sow. She is a mean one.” The coos. “I ken they look big and mean but they are gentle.

They are return to the safety of Lallybroch after a few hours.

#my writing #a braw day arc two #outside #outlander fanfic #outlanderfandom #modern au #cannon divergance #jamie and claire

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jack-andthestalk · 6 years ago

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Our Son, Arc II, Normal, Chapter 8.

Guys once again thanks so much for your comments and love for this fic, it always amazes me how supportive you all. @balfeheughlywed knows I was a royal pain this week, she asks questions that make me think and it really helps. I also may have asked her and @ladyviolethummingbird to write this chapter for me because I had myself tied up in hoops trying to move the story forward. I suppose what I want to come across is although Jamie made a stupid move in not getting legal advice, he didn't do it maliciously. He didn't consult with Claire because he thought she wasn't capable of helping him make a decision. He just isn't rehearsed at relationships or decision making, nor is Claire. This is a harsh lesson, but he is trying to find a way forward without losing her.

Our days were focused on keeping things normal for Willie’s sake. But the inevitability of Jamie’s departure hung over us like a dead weight. I wasn’t capable of sharing my feelings, too much resentment and hurt bottled up but most of all heartbreak at the thoughts of losing him. To protect him and me, I couldn’t let it show. Jamie’s parents already had tried multiple attempts to thwart him leaving, ranging from selling everything lock stock and barrel to throwing all their savings into a hotshot barrister that would lead us into endless legal fees and no happy ending guaranteed.

I couldn’t live with them not having their home, their retirement. The Frasers were good people, who had supported Willie and me since I came into their lives. I wanted their happiness safe just as much as Jamie. It was this common bond that allowed me to forgive Jamie or at least to understand why he had to follow through, I knew he loved us, and he loved his parents. It shouldn’t be a matter of choosing, I could rebuild in Boston, they could not.

So here we were hours before Jamie’s departure, I needed to say goodbye to him, just wanting solitude, him and me. Regret over turning from him the past few weeks, as I minded the hurt in his eyes every time I avoided his gaze, his touch or his words. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them; it just was more painful to be close to him knowing it was fleeting.

I had some time in Scotland after Jamie left, watching Willie worry and pine over Jamie’s move; I had promised him we could stay until the end of his term. It would soften the blow of missing his Da, having all his family around him. Jamie came home early, packed a few things only enough for a long weekend, I had raised my eyebrows but said nothing. Jamie was firmly gripping denial, he couldn’t see himself there long-term. Convinced that he would manage to pull off something that he may get the Dunsany’s to release him without repercussions.

In a way, I needed him to go so I could get on with losing him. Grieve for what could have been so I could start to move on, anything would be better than trying to coexist, acting like strangers when it couldn’t have been further from the truth. But tonight would just be about goodbye.

_______________

“I cooked” my hand gestured vaguely to the stove, “ I don’t know if you feel like something or if you have maybe other things to do…” babbled words and sweaty palms, it would take me a few moments to settle, to strive for normalcy.

Jamie stood arms hanging loosely at his sides, the taken aback expression my invitation had elicited, only lasted a moment before it was replaced with eagerness.

“I would love to eat with ye Sassenach.” Holding my gaze, he continued, “just normal aye?”

“just normal”. I promised.

He crossed the kitchen then purposefully, taking a bottle of wine from the fridge and uncorking it. Pouring two glasses and placing them on the kitchen table, “Do ye need any help?”

“Nope, just plating up…it’s Simple really…nothing fancy.” I was talking too fast, my hands brushing nervously down my thighs. Normal I repeated to myself trying to quiet my mind.

I sensed Jamie’s warm breath on my back, hesitating for a moment before he gently enveloped my shoulder with his hand, kneading it once and allowing it to rest. I stood stock still, conscious that it been a while since we touched like this.

“Anything ye cook is braw Sassenach.” He said softly. I thought he would move away, just an assuring gesture, but his body stilled behind me, and I felt his hand hovering over my shoulder for a minute before he made a decision lowered his arm, wrapping it around my stomach, wordlessly.

“Thank ye.” He whispered quietly. I placed my hand on his and squeezed it once before I turned to him. I rested my hands on the counter, hips tilting towards him but not close enough to touch.

“Have you everything packed?” I quirked an eye upwards, knowing full well he had packed maybe three things, “I am hoping I won’t need much”,

“Jamie,” I said in a frustrated breath, “I really think you need to accept that you could be there for some time…”

He shook his head firmly, “If I canna get something on them, I have a contingency…” His voice went quiet and I could see he wanted to tell me. I knew he was going to attempt to convince me for the millionth time that he would dig himself out of this mess, we had one night, and I didn’t want it filled with unfeasible promises.

“Look”, I said firmly, “if we are going to do this ‘normal’ thing, then let's not talk about England or tomorrow. I gestured towards the table, “I am going to feed you, it’s just you and me now, no promises, no planning, just us.” He stepped toward me and tried to smile. Jamie’s smile had always been remarkable, the kind that makes you weak and happy all at once, a game changer. This smile, however, was not like that. It was tighter,

strained. He did not want to concede this could be our last night together as some form of a couple, but he would accept it because it was all we had.

_________________

Dinner was simple in every way, we stuck to every day, Willie, his school, Lamb, Jenny, Jamie’s parents. We didn’t mention Brian’s grey pallor, Ellen’s face constantly etched in worry or the enlisted solicitors that had come through Lallybroch like a revolving door. It was pleasant, complete make-believe but we smiled, drank and ate, while occasionally meeting each other’s eye with a glint of something only between us.

When we had finished, Jamie pushed himself back in his chair, eyeing me carefully.

“Is it something ye wanted?” I raised one eyebrow, and he tilted his head towards Willie’s bedroom, “bairns”, he explained. Jamie’s body was relaxed as he swang casually on the back legs of his chair, this wasn’t meant to start an argument, it was worded with curiosity light, flirtatious, first date kind of stuff.

When I faltered to answer immediately, he didn’t rush me just allowed his eyes to linger on my face while toying with his bottom lip.

Eventually, I sighed, smiling at him over the rim of my glass. “bit late for this conversation, isn’t it?”

Jamie placed his glass down and straightened his chair.

“I meant before if Willie hadn’t happened, was it something ye planned on?”

“Oh, I see.”

"Well I was young--er, hadn’t really had a mother myself—it wasn’t something that was foremost in my mind – but no I didn’t see it in my future until Willie happened."

Jamie nodded and ran his finger around the rim of his glass, “I reckoned as much.”

My eyebrows shot up, “You did?”

“Aye well, its just ye were so driven at yer career when I first met ye, being a doctor was so important and ye were fierce independent…I remember thinking it would take a lot to settle ye.”

“Settle me?” I crooked one skeptical eyebrow at him, but my real struggle was stopping the smirk threatening to shadow my face as I fought the idea that Jamie had considered trying to settle me.

“Ye werena like other lassies Claire…I could tell ye dinna need the picket fence and a house full of bairns…or even a man, yer a free spirit…I suppose” his eyes skimmed over me for a minute and he drew in a long breath, something unsaid ran between and he exhaled shifting on his seat to rest his ankle over his knee. Jamie’s eyes grew dark, and my heart sped up at the effect I was apparently having on him.

“Well” while I attempted to change the subject, Jamie just continued to stare brazenly at me, tilting his wine glass to and fro. My stomach was coiling in on itself, and I felt like crawling across the table to run my tongue over his lips.

“ya, ken ye never once rang me when ye got back to Boston?”

“What?” I asked narrowing my eyes at him. He smiled confidently at me and leaned across the table. “Ye went back to Boston, and ye dinna pick up yer phone and ring me once” his index finger pointed to the ceiling illustrating the number of times I didn’t call. “I only heard from ye, after ye found out ye were pregnant.”

My chin dipped into the neck of my sweater as my mind raced trying to remember.

“Jamie – I don’t think” irritation started to creep into my tone. What was he playing at dragging this up now?

“It’s the truth” he replied plainly. He tilted his wine glass pointedly at me. “Ye know –“ he scraped a hand down his face, “if it wasna for Willie, I am not sure I wouldha heard from you again Claire.” His tone was light, still teasing but there was something in his eyes I couldn’t quite place, uncertainty perhaps.

“That’s not true”, I shook my head and took a sip for my glass, trying to hide my features.

“Oh aye it is, I said all sorts to ye that night in the cottage, I didn’t hold back, ye said ye would call as soon as ye got home. Ye never did.”

I needed to tell him how much I wanted to, but the reality of returning to Boston was like a bucket of cold water, suddenly the thing that seemed very real while in Scotland now made me feel abashed, we had known each other for such a short time yet Jamie was right we didn’t hold back the night in the cottage and then I had worried he would see me as less, too brazen, too easy. So I chickened out and didn’t ring him. Now facing his inquisitive smirk, I found I couldn’t say any of that.

Instead I settled for “I meant to call”, weakly whispering it into my sweater collar.

Jamie rolled his eyes laughing, ““ye meant to call, did ye?”—his voice went up a pitch—“what happened, ye forgot?”

I gave him a withering look, “I didn’t forget”, he took a long pull on his wine glass and settled it down on the table.

Lacking any real excuse I could share with him I threw the questions back on him, “Why are you going over all this now?” I pointed my wine glass towards him accusingly. “Nostalgia can be dangerous Fraser”.

Jamie’s tongue darted out and he wet his lips nervously, he lifted his glass and lowered it without drinking. He leaned across the table abruptly, face determined. “Something ye said in the barn the night of the engagement party”, my hand trembled as I reached for my wine glass, I tried to feign nonchalance “What was that?” my tone was casual, but my heart was drumming a loud beat in my ear. I sunk my lips into the wine glass to hide the colour rising up my cheeks while I waited for him to answer.

“Ye said, ye felt like an obligation.”

Oh god, a devious lump started forming in my throat, and I begged myself not to surrender to it.

Jamie took my silence for what it was, acceptance, so he continued.

“It struck a chord with me ye see, registered, I suppose.” He shrugged his shoulders casually. “I always felt like ye were obliged to maintain a relationship with me, and had Willie not happened ye might not have contacted me again.”

“Why would you think that Jamie? It’s so far from the truth.”

“Claire,” he said exasperatedly, “ye ken as much as I do what happened the night Willie was conceived?”

I sat back slightly in my seat not sure where he was taking this, “I cajoled ye up there.”

“I went willingly” I corrected.

“Fine,” he said sighing, “but ye ken, as well as I, do that all the times I bedded ye that night, only once did I control myself long enough to think of precaution.”

I rolled my eyes “Jamie it wasn’t ‘bedding’, half the time we didn’t even make it to the bed!”

Jamie gave me an impatient glare, “fine” he replied haughtily “sex, all the times we had sex, only once did I use protection. My head rolled back “this is why you are in this mess Jamie” I waved my hands vaguely around the cottage,” you take on too much responsibility – my tone dipped coyly –“ I never asked you to use precautions the many other times we had sex ….I thought it would be ok.” Now I was positively scarlet at my own naivety, an almost qualified doctor, what the fuck had I been thinking? A little voice in my head whispered quietly, you wanted him pretty bad too.

“Aye but Claire I canna tell ye how out of character that was of me.” My eyebrows shot up to my hairline, “are you suggesting that it was characteristic of me…” I started to argue, he waved his hand dismissively. “It’s no that, what I mean to say is, even then I wonder if I was trying to anchor myself to ye.” My head lurched back in surprise. “Jamie, are you saying you consciously tried to get me pregnant?”

He rucked his hand through his hair agitatedly “no, not consciously anyway” Jamie stood suddenly, opening his mouth and closing it again dumbstruck. His head fell back, and he looked at a spot on the ceiling.

“Jamie Fraser will you tell me what the hell you are on about!” I said firmly.

He lowered his head and met my eye, “Claire I dinna wish to compare ye to other women because there is no comparison, but it would be lying if I said that when it comes to preventing bairns, I am if anything overcautious.” He crooked one auburn eyebrow, “with others –his cheeks blazed red – it would put the fear of God in me to tie myself to someone by having a bairn with them.”

He sat down again and began toying with his wine glass, his voice dropped low and husky, his eyes stayed fixed on the glass, “yet that night with you, I dinna care if I was bound to you forever, I think I didn’t stop to use protection because it dinna frighten me what a future with you might hold.”

He shook his head shamefully, “I never stopped to think of what you might want.” His head shot up, and he looked me straight in the eye, “So Claire if anyone is the obligation here, its no you – he exhaled loudly – it's me.”

“I was always too guilty or shamed to tell ye, he said softly, but I would feel more so if ye were under the impression ye were of any obligation to me Claire.”

He half snorted under his breath, “Christ even when ye rang to tell me ye were pregnant, half of me was giddy at the thoughts of you carrying my child, the other half was scared shitless ye would hate me for it.”

#outlander fanfic #ourson #thankyou

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