#a brain cell remembered this scene for 0.00000000003 seconds and it propagated severe damage to the rest

[ambiguousdisorderken]

thinking about the reunion in advanced thanatology makes me fucking feral it shakes my brain like a baby rattle what the fuck what the hell did that seriously happen? did dean literally kill himself using the hunt as an excuse because he was so broken he didn't want to live anymore? didn't feel like keeping up the fight when all had been taken from him only to be brought back by death which before would be winchester luck but now would be his greatest punishment to be forced to continue living so miserable and alone and guilty and hapless and faithless? this paralleled with a gut-wrenching grieving scene that is all too human and not supernatural/unrelatable it's plain death an irretrievable loss an unsalvageable separation for the rest of eternity just an innocent corpse and a disconsolate mother to the hum of steppenwolf’s it’s never too late and it’s fucking depressing then the focus shifts deserted street and we’re inside the car  everything just pitch black. sam being asleep meaning he has no weight in this instance this is not about him this is about dean dean who is alone out on the open road drifting and untethered staring into a new and suffocating kind of darkness just going through the motions willing himself to keep it together while knowing all too well this time is different and then something happens something major for the music halts. it’s a call and what could be important or significant enough to spark any emotion in this lifeless shell of a man and sam speaks for us ‘what’ he asks now awakened but we get nothing just light spilling down on dean and the song restarts invigorated it just keeps growing and filling every crevice of the moment stretching it as the impala keeps rolling down down into a dark and empty street soft warm lighting the electric guitar solo reverberating as we steel ourselves for the final blow or the last nail in the coffin and there’s a cross hanging above watchful and all-knowing it sings tell me who's to say after all is done and you're finally gone you won't be back again and it’s too much they’re getting out of the car and whatever it is cannot be real because dean looks at sam for reassurance he’s treading before diving in a leap of faith a sliver of hope letting faint light in and it’s all been leading to this exact moment in this nameless place god knows where and there standing by a common payphone... it’s ...that’s... cas... in his big trench coat. it’s cas and he’s inexplicably back and the camera zooms in only on dean. this is his apotheosis an unexpected miracle his big win and it’s cas and it’s not too late for them to love all over again.