#a big part of it was also being autistic made team sports and ballet classes and the slight variations in routine really hard for me
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i could have been such a ballet girlie (transmasc-coded) if my dad hadnt traumatized me maaaaan… couldve played sports too
#teddy#like this isnt how it actually works. but i was really athletic as a little kid :(#i loved to dance and play ball and just like. move my body.#and i couldnt stand to be in my body at all so i quit all my activities :(#a big part of it was also being autistic made team sports and ballet classes and the slight variations in routine really hard for me#but well my parents traumatized me for being autistic too lol i think i could have participated#in those kinds of things pretty easily if i was in a safe home environment/had some support#with things like learning new movements and socializing#but i like totally forgot how to move my body at all bc of trauma#a crazy thing about recovery has been how much easier it is to like. catch a ball. spin in a circle. Walk#the visual processing will be and would have always been hard forever though. its so hard to explain bc my vision is ok#but i dont process images right lol its really hard for me to look AND see AND understand#which everyone else seems able to do just fine…#i cant really process visual information and move at the same time which does make sports uhhh pretty hard#but muscle memory helps a lot if i can build it up!
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