#a big ol' MUSICAL with funny animal friends! - mind you it has been a minute...
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It's difficult to describe growing up my entire life thinking my copy of All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 was in fact simply All Dogs Go To Heaven.
The last thing I remember from this property was watching An All Dogs Christmas Carol.
I have located the first movie, which I have never seen.
THE TONE SHIFT. IS. RATHER JARRING, FOLKS.
Imagine if you always thought that The Secret of Nimh 2 was the actual movie The Secret of Nimh... and then one day you saw the original.
#original#all dogs go to heaven#don bluth#dom deluise#what the FUCK is going on?? did this dog jusf a#*did this dog just ADOPT A HUMAN CHILD#I'll be honest I'm skimming because I'm afraid of getting too sad right before bed.#it is by its nature about dogs dying so#but also it about HELL maybe#so#I mean so is the 2nd one but there were some weird 90s animated animal sequel Vibes that are a different flavor to this#this is like some secret of nimh shit. don bluth you old rascal you!#as I remember at the original secret of nimh is a super dark intense SCARY animated kids movie that I grew up on and have fond feelings on#and the sequel to this chilling tale of animal experimentation and mutation and torture and magic...#a big ol' MUSICAL with funny animal friends! - mind you it has been a minute...#the secret of nimh#secret of nimh#I remember the animation being fucking beautiful. I'll have to check it out again.#okay great [sarcasm] it's time for some racist animation bc ofc it is. skipping ahead to cat satan....#oh jesus even on fast forward this is very bad#this dog is her dad i giess#*i guess#that's fine. i mean he's a bad father but#is Charlie a fucking mob boss what is happening i skipped too far ahead i will watch it thru later the edibles haaave hit#omg charlie is a terrible father#unrelated but the way they animate this anthro dog in this movie would have turned me into a furry for sure if i had seen it as a kid#which if anything is a missed opportunity. I'd probably be a better artist if i was! someday they'll accept my application...😤#these dogs are gay
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ROTT Review
SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.
FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.
Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.
Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.
Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.
Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.
Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.
Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.
Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.
Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.
Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting.
Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.
And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.
How about some CreepSlayers?
BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.
Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.
I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.
How about some Akiridions?
Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.
DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.
It was good to see Varvatos Vex.
Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.
And finally some Wizards.
Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.
Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.
Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.
Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.
I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.
I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.
The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.
WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.
Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.
Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.
They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.
And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.
Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.
The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.
Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.
Now our characters are split into 3 teams:
Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.
Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.
Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.
Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.
(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)
We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.
And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.
Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.
Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.
(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)
Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)
BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.
Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.
And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.
Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.
Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1.
ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.
Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)
BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.
JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.
Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.
Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.
STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH.
Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.
Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)
I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.
We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.
(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)
And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.
I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.
The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.
---
I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.
Don’t think. Become.
#rise of the titans#rott spoilers#trollhunters rott#wizards rott#3below rott#Trollhunters#3below#wizards#tales of arcadia#toa trollhunters#toa 3below#toa wizards#toa
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Helluva Boss Episode 6 Review
It's Saturday, the twenty-first of August. I wake up at ten. This week has been, to say the least, taxing. My morning routine has fallen into a lull lately. I wake up, find something to eat (usually nothing more than a slice of bread). I open my phone, and the rather rigid itinerary continues:
Open discord
Open twitter
Open instagram
Open snapchat
Open youtube
Open any games that give free daily rewards (though I barely play them anymore).
This routine is borne not out of a personal need for structure, but purely out of apathy towards anything I see. I don't care about updates, I don't scroll through social media, I very rarely type in comments sections. I am done in five to ten minutes.
So, I had kind of forgotten about Helluva Boss. As a matter of fact, it didn't even appear in my youtube recommended, which it has unfailingly done for its past 5 episodes. I had said, a few months ago, when I wrote my last review, that I was losing faith in the series. I didn't think Vivenne had the right mindset for writing, visible in the series' basic structure and frankly cringeworthy sense of humour. By this time yesterday, I had no expectations left for Helluva Boss and no concern over what its future was going to look like. About a year ago I bought a funny little Hazbin Hotel merch t-shirt that I am wearing right now (Ironically, I was wearing it before realizing a new episode had been released. I put it on this morning because it was Saturday and I don't have to see anybody. I like the colors).
So fast forward. It's now around five-thirty in the evening, and I am checking my twitter again. There's an image on my feed, captioned by somebody (I can't remember what the caption is). A Helluva Boss screenshot. I close the tab instantly, and go to youtube, typing into the bar "Helluva Boss episode 6". There it is. I look at the timestamp, 22 minutes, and immediately think to myself: Oh shit, it's review day.
And it is. So here's my review. This intro was a joke, and most of it's made up.
Summed up: This episode is a step in the right direction. All these random character points, that felt too simple, or too back-seated in previous episodes get to take center stage (finally). It's focused only on Blitzo and Moxxie, but by the end of it, they actually feel like fairly complete characters. We start in the center of the action, which works perfectly for a show like this. Even though it's been two months, I am pulled back into the show almost instantly. It opens with some clever animation, of the tv screens, but these aren't the best visuals we'll be seeing this episode by any stretch of the word. In a few quick lines, each character is not only placed into their element: Blitzo's vulgar admonishments, Moxxie's sardonic reproach. Millie is aggressive, but we're again reminded how much she cares for Moxxie. She shouts at Loona to open the gate, and Loona refuses, citing her knowledge of Blitzo, and how she knows he's serious. It's perfect. I love it.
From here we have Moxxie and Blitzo restrained in a high security facility, as some agents begin to question them. The next scene is my personal favorite, of possibly the entire series, because we finally get to see Blitzo and Moxxie acting in sync, being friends, I guess, when we've only gotten bits of that before. They've mostly just bounced off of each other, so it's some nice character development. Good job.The rest will come in a bit. Rogers also gets to show off a bit his knack for the snappy dialogue. Though, every silver cloud: the scene ends with a "your mom" "my mom's dead" joke, that would hardly be funny in a reddit thread. It is downright awful here.
Loona and Millie are infiltrating the facility for a violent intermission.
So here's the real meat of the episode: The agents release into the room a "truth gas" that does exactly what the name implies (oddly enough, they never bother to question the imps before the gas dissipates). After realizing what the gas does, both Moxxie and Blitzo enter musical hallucinations, in which they confront each other, and the personal issues in each of them that contribute to their flawed relationship. Before, I continue, I want to note that the music and animation here are stellar, but again, the episode has better visuals still on the way. This number is essentially what all those bits of development between them were leading up to, and it's great. All of it is paying off. The series will change from here on out, hopefully: We'll get to see a healed Blitzo and Moxxie taking on all the villains that were set up. I was going to mention it later, but I guess I'll just awkwardly shoehorn it in now: Each episode has set up a new villain and none have recurred yet and that is not at all a good thing. I have no idea how Vivienne gonna get through all of them in a meaningful way. Back to the scene at hand: We're going through Moxxie's natural submissiveness, and Blitzo's fear of both intimacy and of being alone (does some of the dialogue here feel too imitative of Rick and Morty? I don't know. That's your call). When it's over, Blitz realizes his love for Stolas (romantic) and for Moxxie (platonic) (probably). They agree to be better friends. Congrats. We did it. The payoff is here.
Let's celebrate with a big ol beautifully animated fight scene that's just as edgy as these 2012 deviantart furries (Loona is back as a wolf, thank you). It's fast, bloody, at one point Blitzo pulls out a comically large rocket launcher labeled "MY DICK" and it shoots a missile labeled "PUSSY DESTROYER" and to my absolute shock, I laugh. That's right: This episode made me laugh one time. But honestly, that doesn't matter to me too much, because this isn't trying nearly as hard as the other episodes to be comedic. It's focused on other things, and I can appreciate it for that. As a twist, the original two agents escape, and slam that big red button. They're locked inside, guns pointed at them, and when it seems as though all hope is lost, Stolas arrives, which a demonstration of his power. Yet another piece of this episodes that fills some previously teased aspect. He's possessing people, raising dead in here, and his "true form" is what I mentioned a few times earlier: the most beautiful visual in the series yet. Or maybe I just like owls.
The episode is over, and I close the tab, thinking about how I'm going to write this review. I'm astounded. I had legitimately lost hope for this series. And just when I least expect it, Vivienne comes with an episode on par, maybe even better, than the second. Each character is realized, the animation is stunning, it feels like it's exactly what it wants to be. To put things into perspective though, I still don't think this episode nears the series' hypothetical full potential. It's certainly not on par with the best of some of the shows it recalls. The comedy still suffers, and the character development doesn't have a ton to work off of, and I that age warning at the beginning still feels misplaced. But you know what? Vivenne has made something half-decent here. And I can appreciate that. If the show keeps this up, hopefully even getting better, and minds bringing back one of those six or seven villains that have already been set up, then the future looks bright. It is with pride, joy, and definitely definitely tears in my eyes that I give this episode a 6/10.
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Lashes (pt 3)
Bill Williamson is a racist asshole. Everyone knows it. They just punch him and go on about their day. When a Lakota woman joins the gang, everyone expects things to go on as normal, slurs and all, and for a time, it does. But her curiosity gets the better of her, and she finds that hatred is something learned - which means it can be unlearned, if given time, care, and patience. And she has plenty of those… the first two, anyway.
Bill Williamson x OC
Part 1, Part 2
Another couple of weeks passed, and Star fell back into her usual routine, though she kept an eye on Bill. He seemed to be avoiding her, and she couldn't blame him. He had shown a great deal of vulnerability to her that night, and he probably needed to recover from that, so she maintained a respectful distance, mostly just waiting to see what would happen.
Charles told her it was a lost cause – that Bill would never see past his small-mindedness. She knew that was a possibility, but something about him didn't feel that black and white. Her instinct about him was to protect him, and that was baffling considering everything.
One thing she did notice was that every single person in the camp seemed willing to make Bill the butt of their joke. All of them. And he took it. He either laughed it off, unconvincingly, or brushed it off and went on. That was troubling, but telling.
The next big event for the gang was the return of Sean MacGuire. Star had no idea what to expect when Arthur, Javier, and Charles rode off to rescue the Irishman, but somehow, when they showed up with him in tow, it all just fit. Sean was loud, boisterous, and funny. Not to mention a huge flirt.
“Who is this beauty?!” he cried when he first laid eyes on Star. “Is this who ye replaced me with? Hell, I'll turn around and go.”
She laughed and shook his hand. “Call me Star. I take it you're Sean.”
“Aye, that's me. Good ole Sean MacGuire, back and ready to rumble.”
“I hope captivity didn't take too much of a toll.”
“Nah. I'm alright. Knew these boys would come for me sooner or later. Didn't know they'd have a present for me when I got back though,” he said with a wink.
Star rolled her eyes. “Easy, pretty boy. You aren't my type.”
He pouted. “No? Then what is?”
It was easy enough to brush him off, especially since Karen's arms were waiting for him anyway. When Dutch announced a night of celebration, Star fond herself both intrigued and perturbed. Parties were not her forte, and yet they offered excellent opportunities for people watching – which is exactly what she did.
As the camp erupted into music and laughter, Star took a bottle of beer with her to a secluded little log and sat watching everyone. It was more fun for her that way, and she learned things about her companions as a bonus.
Of course, as alcohol began to flow, people grew less willing to let her linger in the shadows. They pulled her into conversations, hooked her into the punchlines of jokes she didn't hear the beginning of, and mostly just insisted on including her. It made her heart feel very full. Boy, did she love this gang.
As the night wore on, Star drank more and more, not really realizing how much she was imbibing. She wandered over to one of the fires where Hosea, Lenny, Pearson, John, and Bill had gathered. As she arrived, Bill began to speak.
“You know, when I was in the army, fellers would spend all night talkin' about what they were gonna do the second they left the army. All kinds of things. Like 'I'm gonna go off and be a cook.' Or 'I'm gonna go out and find me a wife.' Hell, someone was like 'I'm gonna go and dance with the finest whore in San Francisco.' Some shit like that. You know how fellers is,” he chuckled.
Then, after a pause, he went on. “But, you know what every one of them did the second they left the army? JOINED THE GOD DAMN ARMY AGAIN. Jesus Christ! I mean, here is a group of fellers that spent every wakin' minute just dreamin' of leaving. And... and then they left. And then they jumped back in again! Stupid! You know what? That taught me somethin'... and-and-and it taught me somethin' I'll never forget. And that is that most fellers are sheep. That's right. And if you can tell the difference... be-between a man and-and.... and a sheep, well.... that makes you a better man than me. And that's all I'm sayin'. Mark my words. All a'ya.”
He trailed off into silence for a moment before finishing with, “Stupid army.”
Star stood there, vision a little too fuzzy and thoughts a little too blurry, and then she blurted, “Fuck the army. Army k-killed everyone... everyone I had. Tied me to a post. Treated me like a god damn animal. Woulda raped me. Probably killed me. Certainly starved me.”
All of the men's gazes had come to rest on her, and she very abruptly felt shy about speaking in front of them, so she murmured, “Stupid army.”
There was a lull, then Bill pointed at her and cried, “See! Motherfuckin' army.”
“Didn't nobody doubt ya, Bill,” Hosea pointed out, smiling a bit.
“Tha's... tha's not true, though,” Star, stammered, unable to realize the ramifications of what she was about to say. “All of yous doubt him. You... you make fun of him. You call him dumb and say he isn't smart enough to know things. I seen you. All a you. And that ain't right. You... you shouldn't treat him like that.”
The silence that greeted her was deafening. It took her brain a moment to catch up with her mouth, and when she realized what she said, her hand clapped over her lips and her eyes went wide.
John was the first to speak. “Gee, Star, tell us what you really think.”
“I... I didn't mean...”
“You know, maybe she has a point,” Hosea chimed in quietly. “We do tend to give Bill a hard time. Maybe more than we should. Guess that's somethin' we oughta work on.”
“So... you're not mad at me?”
“For speaking your mind? No, dear girl. Though, it might have come across better if you weren't quite so drunk. Still, you make a good point. Somethin' to think about.”
The rest of the group fell back into easy conversation after that, but Star couldn't shake the awkwardness, so she wandered off. A few moments later, a hand grabbed hers roughly and pulled her into the trees. “What the hell?” she slurred, trying to shake her hand away. “Let go.”
“Why'd you have to go and say a thing like that?” Bill mumbled, refusing to let go of her.
“Well... 'cuz it's true. They laugh at you all the time, and they shouldn't.”
“That's... that's just the way it is around here!” he snapped.
She frowned and stopped trying to reclaim her hand. “Just because that's how it is doesn't mean that that's how it should be, Bill. Like... like how you shouldn't say the shit you say... but you do.”
His eyes lingered on their hands. “Yeah.”
“You... you're so mean. To me and Javier and Charles and Lenny. Why are you so mean? We... I... just wanna be your friend. Unless you don't want any friends. But I like you, and I want you to be happy, though I can't figure out why – oop!”
Drunken kisses inevitably turn out worse than either party would have hoped, but it was still a kiss, and it nearly knocked Star on her ass from shock. Bill's beard tickled her nose, causing her to giggle slightly. “Now you're laughin' at me,” he said, but it was obviously a tease.
“It tickled,” she explained anyway. “Why'd... why'd you do that?”
“'Cuz I wanted to.”
“Oh.” She looked around to see if anyone was watching, then got on her toes to kiss him in return. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close. “Guess I wanted to, too,” she whispered, giggling again.
“You... you're drunk,” he declared, very drunkenly. “You don't laugh like that normally.”
She tipped up the rest of the bottle she hand in her hand. “Oh well. It's a party, right?”
“You're god damn right.” He emptied his bottle as well, then pulled her back in for another sloppy kiss.
Star wasn't sure what was happening, but she seemed to be enjoying herself, so she decided to let it happen. What could possibly go wrong?
….
The morning sun was a rude awakening. Star's head was pounding. Even breathing seemed to agitate it. When she finally managed to crack open an eye, she realized she was looking up at tree tops. She was in the woods somewhere near camp, on her back. “What in the hell?” she groaned.
That was when she realized she wasn't alone because her voice stirred her companion, who then loudly cried, “SHIT!”
“Ah!” she hissed. “Shh.” It took her a moment to place the voice with the person, and when she did, she bolted upright. “Bill?!”
“Yeah, princess,” he replied grumpily. “It's me.”
Another moment passed before she realized he didn't have his shirt on. Which would be difficult to do given that she did. The blue plaid hung off her loosely, concealing most of her body save her legs, which she was thankful for given that Bill's shirt was the only thing she seemed to be wearing.
“Oh no,” she whispered, looking around them. There was no chance anyone from camp would have seen them, but she did worry some about heard. “Oh no!”
“You don't gotta act so pleased,” Bill spat venomously.
She turned her gaze to him and felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, she didn't mean to be quite so horrified. On the other, drunkenly bedding anyone was way out of character for her, and she could not believe she'd done it. “Don't be so self-absorbed,” she retorted. “It's not about you.”
“Oh no? You mean you wanted to end up down the hill, in the woods, in the dirt with me?”
“Don't you get it? It's all of the part before you that's a problem! Coulda been Dutch for all I care, and I still would react the same!”
Much to her surprise, Bill's face softened. “So... it's really not me you're upset about?”
She stared at him and took a moment to analyze her feelings on that matter. None of it was ideal, but she wasn't actually upset about the company she was keeping. “It's not you. I just...” Her shoulders slumped. “It's a lot of things. But not you.”
“Oh.”
Very suddenly, things were awkward. Bill couldn't seem to look at her, and she wasn't entirely sure how to get out of his shirt to give it back. “Go... go stand over there,” she told him, pointing. “And no peeking.”
He huffed and grumbled but did as she said. She collected her clothing, most of which she seemed to be sitting on. She pulled the bottom half on first, then slid Bill's shirt over her head. He shifted to glance over his shoulder, earning him a pine cone in the back of the head. “What did I say?!”
“Sorry!” he cried, rubbing the spot tenderly. “Jesus.”
Once dressed, Star carried Bill's shirt to him, holding it out at a distance. “Here.”
He took it back – yanked it back, really – then pulled it on and buttoned it back up. They were left standing awkwardly after that, neither of them making eye contact or really knowing what to do. Bill's hat was in his hands, twisting around nervously, and Star noticed for the first time just how unfortunate his forehead was. It was already slightly too tall for his face, then with his receding hairline...
“I'm gonna go that way,” she announced, pointing in the general direction of Flatneck Station. “You head back to camp now. I'll show up... later. From over there.”
He glowered for a moment, but eventually mumbled, “Yeah, ok.”
Lacking anything better to say, Star just nodded and started off with, “Right.”
The sun was high in the sky before Star even turned back towards camp. She spent most of the walk trying to remember the night before, and only bits and pieces would come back to her. She remembered chastising a group of them for always making fun of Bill, and she remembered Bill pulling her into the woods. The kisses they shared were foggy at best, but she remembered him holding her hand for what felt like a long time – just standing there, looking vulnerable. It made her heart ache slightly. If only she could remember what she said to him.
As she trudged back into camp, Charles came rushing up to her. “Where have you been?” he murmured, checking her over for injuries.
“I don't know. Woke up over that way. I'm fine, Charles.”
His dark eyes lingered on her with concern. “Someone said they saw Bill follow you into the woods. I was worried.”
That jostled her enough to make her feel bad for brushing him off. “He did. Just... he needed to ask me something. After that....” She shrugged. “I don't really know what happened.” Her eyes went behind Charles to camp. “Did Bill come back?”
“Yeah. Couple hours ago. Said he hadn't seen you. I was about to go out looking.”
The sigh that slipped from Star's body accentuated all the soreness she had been trying to ignore. “I'm sorry. I don't usually drink like that. I don't remember much.”
A small smile lifted Charles' lips. “Well... in any case, Sean would be pleased.” His smile grew when he saw Star smile too. “Come on. Let's get you some food.”
“Thanks.”
As the afternoon wore on, Star fielded multiple questions about what had happened to her the night before. She skirted around most of it, but honestly answered that she didn't really know. As Charles had predicted, Sean got the biggest kick out of it.
“And that's exactly how any party in my honor should end,” he told her, clapping her on the shoulder. “I'm proud of ye.”
“Thank you,” she groaned.
Bill almost immediately started drinking again, and he went about his day pretending like Star didn't exist. It suited her well enough. She wasn't prepared to delve into that particular hornet's nest. Perhaps it would be better if both of them went on as if none of it ever happened.
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@allaboutpizzaandfandoms
#my writing#red dead redemption#red dead redemption 2#bill williamson x oc#bill williamson#sean macguire#charles smith#hosea matthews#Lashes
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Renaissance of the Mind: Chapter 3
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Summary: Senator Thomas Jackson has spent the better part of his career swaying the public opinion to the belief that old souls are villainous. Everyone knows only people who screwed up royally in their previous life come back for another chance. They are criminals and should be imprisoned the moment they are discovered. But after a chance meeting with a strangely familiar young man, Thomas’s worst fears are animated. A lifetime of his own forgotten memories in his unwieldy hands, Thomas is faced with a decision.
His headache wasn’t going away.
In the last hour, he’d consumed four ibuprofen pills, half a bottle of aspirin, and copious amounts of alcohol.
This was turning out to be a poor decision.
A headache had started just after his speech and had yet to let up. His entire head throbbed and pulsed with every heartbeat. He was alone at home and taking one of the very few sick days he could, and he was distantly aware that he should probably call a doctor at this point. Two days of a migraine wasn’t normal. Right? Maybe?
He couldn’t hold onto a thought long enough to really consider it anyhow.
But he did know now that medicine overdose along with alcohol was a bad plan. Very bad.
He’d been puking in the toilet in the dark in his bathroom for the last twenty minutes.
And all the while his head continued to pound.
This was just some kind of flu. Something he’d caught. But man it was bad.
After what felt like an eternity, his stomach settled slightly. Thomas dropped onto the floor, exhausted, and stayed there with his eyes shut. After a while he had the presence of mind to flush the toilet, but after that, he just sat, trying not to think about anything. Everything hurt. He wiped his mouth with a growl of frustration and got to his feet shakily.
He’d need water and food after that, some part of him supplied. Or he’d faint. Slowly, he stumbled out of the bathroom, down the hall to his immaculate, very seldom used kitchen. All the curtains in the house had been drawn, and every light turned off. So naturally, he tripped over just about everything in his stumbling way to the fridge.
Once reaching the fridge, he kept his eyes shut as he opened it and cool light spilled out. He groped for something to eat and landed on a stick of butter.
Whatever. He’d take it.
His brain buzzed and whizzed around and the next he knew, he was on his couch, the stick of butter in hand, staring blankly at the swirling pattern on his ceiling.
“This sucks,” he croaked. “This is a big ol’ pile of cow dung, Jeff.” He frowned. “Jack… son.” Pathetic, really. Honestly, he couldn’t even say his name right.
He ate a piece of butter from a trembling hand and cursed the empty house in a general sort of way.
It was then, of course, that his cell phone buzzed. Light flooded the room like laser beams and he groaned, turning his head away.
But it kept on buzzing on the coffee table just a few feet away.
Muttering, he forced himself to sit up, and grab it.
“What?”
A shocked pause. “Oh.” It was Maria. “Goodness, you really are sick.”
Thomas would have rolled his eyes if that wouldn’t have hurt enough to send him to his knees. Instead, he blinked slowly. “Yup. What’s wrong?”
She sighed. “Ah, well, I was calling because I’ve been able to handle all of your responsibilities today thus far, but after that speech, if you disappear for too long-”
“They’ll forget about it.” She was right. They would. They needed to ride this wave of media presence if they wanted to get somewhere.
“Exactly. They need to keep seeing you. So… when can you come in?”
Thomas exhaled tiredly. “Uh, as soon as I can.”
“We really need you here, Mr. Jackson. I understand but-”
“Don’t worry,” he interrupted. “I want this just as much as the rest of you. I’ll be in tomorrow.”
He could hear her smile in her voice. “Great! Awesome. Thank you, sir! Please feel better. I will see you tomorrow, then!”
“Tomorrow.”
He hung up.
And tossed the phone sloppily across the room.
He’d think about everything... tomorrow.
From the outside, Alex’s record shop looked like one of those crappy corner stores where you buy lottery tickets and cigarettes and people hang to cause trouble. There were bars on the windows and the door needed new paint. It got stuck every time Alex opened it, and he had to shove his shoulder into it get it to work properly.
But Alex didn’t care.
He’d poured his heart and soul into this little shop and if his heart and soul looked like a crappy corner store, so be it.
That said, on the inside, he had done everything he could to fix it to exactly his liking. Records of all sorts were stacked in boxes and on the walls and on shelves, and large posters were framed on the walls. There was a semblance of order. It went like this: new stuff, front of the shop, old stuff, back of the shop. And it worked just fine for him. If anyone needed help, they’d ask and he could find them the record in less than thirty seconds. He and his roommate/best friend Jack ran the place and Alex wouldn’t have it any other way.
Alex, per usual, shoved open the door. The smell of coffee and warm leather greeted him. There wouldn’t actually be any coffee yet, but he’d brewed so much of it inside the tiny shop, the smell was sort of ingrained in the walls. He flicked on the lights and smiled.
In the back of the shop, he’d set up the pay counter, and he had dozens of record players to use. He’d choose a style for the day, usually, and Jack would probably complain about it, but that was okay. He swerved around the randomly placed shelves of records. He did pretty well with this shop. Especially since records were coming back as ‘retro’ and ‘cool’. Whatever. He liked the music and he liked being able to see the music as it spun. He liked the way it sounded and he loved searching for songs. Forgotten songs. Lost songs. Songs so rare, no one had listened to them in decades. He’d dig like some kind of treasure hunter in people’s garage sales, obscure auctions, pawn shops, for more music.
And then, if he felt like it, he’d sell his findings.
Before, Alex hadn’t had enough time to appreciate such things like music. He’d been so hurried, so desperate to make something of himself, he’d been solely devoted to writing and politics. They were everything.
He didn’t have his writings or his political career now. They weren’t ‘his’ anymore.
And funny enough, that was okay. The world would keep on spinning whether or not Alexander Miranda chose to step into the public eye.
However, he would like to make it clear, that he could. He could become all that he was in the 1700s. After all, back then he’d started with absolutely nothing. Even at his lowest moments in this life, he had far more than he had as the young, scrappy, and hungry kid that stumbled off a burning ship into New York without a single friend in the world and nothing but the clothes on his back.
Yeah, if he wanted, Alex could do it again. It would take some luck, but he’d pull it off like he always had.
But, man, he really kinda liked music. And he realized now, he wasn’t the type of person that could multi-task. He couldn’t listen to music and drink in a bar and dance with pretty girls and- and live if he was constantly waiting to get back to his ‘real’ life of writing and politics.
So whatever. Yeah, he didn’t have much money, yeah he lived in an area that was burgled every other night and drug busted at least once a week, but he didn’t mind.
People were as kind as they were bitter, and music had a way of soothing people, making them happier for just a moment. He’d never figured out how to do that as a politician or a soldier.
He’d thought it was just one of those gifts some people had.
Like Eliza. She’d been able to make anyone smile the moment they walked into a room.
And Alex had just assumed he couldn’t do that. It occurred to him maybe he hadn’t really tried.
He plugged in his favorite player and thumbed through a few of his favorite records. He wasn’t a hard core Beetle fan, but they were alright if he was in the mood.
Eh. He wasn’t today.
He was still debating between a classical Bach or Kansas when the bell on the front door rang. Kinda. The bell had a tendency to get drowned out by the shoving and pushing and scraping that it took to open the door.
Alex sat down in a swivel chair, hands behind his head, and spun in a circle. “If I look at you, and you look high, Jack, you’re going home.”
Jack, the roommate, stuck a ruffled head through the door and huffed. “Uh, for your information, I am clean.”
Alex glanced at him and snorted. “Clean.”
The redhead, almost-former druggie looked down at his wrinkled t-shirt and jeans and shut the door behind him. “In the substance sense.”
“That’s nice. Physically clean would be nice too.”
Jack glared at him, straightened his jacket with an eye roll, and stomped past him. “I’ll wash my face in the sink.” He opened the back door and left it open behind him.
“There are a washcloth and some spare clothes back there too, I think.” Alex had put some in there when he wasn’t sure whether he’d be able to keep up his half of the apartment rent. He grinned and used his legs to push the swivel chair halfway off the ground. He could just see Jack enter the bathroom. “You’re the best!” He added with cheeriness he knew Jack would find extremely grating.
“You’re the worst,” came his muffled reply.
Alex chuckled and went back to searching through his stack of records. He liked old music as much as he liked new music. And when he said old music, he meant like, the stuff people tended to just lump together as either ‘hymn church stuff’ or ‘classic ugh so boring’ as well as the music made in the early twentieth century.
He chose something at random and clicked it in place.
Mozart. Piano softly washed over the room. Now that kid been something of a phenomenon. Jefferson had detested him if he remembered correctly. Wouldn’t play any of his music. Alex had no idea why, just that Jefferson had always been very irritated whenever someone attempted to play it. Alex chewed his lip. See, this was the thing about old music. It was flypaper for memories. Even now, if he played the song he and Eliza had first danced to, he’d be thrown back to that hot summer night and the feeling of the blue silk dress beneath his sweaty fingers. Her light touch on his shoulder and his equally gentle touch on the small of her back. It had been humid and the hosts ran out of punch halfway through the night, he recalled. But it had been some kind of magical time anyhow.
He was usually very careful about which old music he played, just in case it was too much for him that day.
With a sigh, Alex pushed himself out of the chair, stretched his back, and started the coffee machine beneath the counter. He didn’t actually like coffee, but the caffeine was too large of an asset. He needed caffeine.
Once enough for a cup had brewed, Alex quickly removed the pot, poured the coffee into his cup, and hastily thrust it back under the hot stream. There was probably a reason the coffee machine was stained brown. He smirked, wrapped his hands around the hot mug, took a sip, and bent under the counter to continue his never-ending task of sorting. He’d come back yesterday from a day of hunting with a dozen new records that needed a home in the shop.
He’d done this for a few minutes when someone shoved on the door. Alex frowned. That was unusual. People were not often here this early.
With an armful of records in one arm and his coffee cup in the other hand, he struggled to stand.
“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry. Here, let me help you.”
The records slipped, but suddenly someone was there, taking hold of a bunch and setting them down on the counter. Alex smiled. “Thanks,”
“You are very welcome. Pardon me, but are you, Alex or Jack, sir? The sign outside said Alex and Jack’s Records and I… I… Are you alright?”
Alex stared, horrified. He had gotten very good at recognizing people. Mia had been right. It was in the eyes. He couldn't do it every time, but sometimes...
And there was no way he would ever forget the eyes looking at him right now.
“B-Burr?”
The man frowned, confused. He was a dark-skinned, smartly dressed man with close cut hair and a very familiar cautious, concerned smile. “It’s Barron, actually.”
The coffee cup slipped from Alex’s fingers, and the moment broke. Alex cursed and jumped back from the hot liquid. “Oh jeez, S-sorry, sir. I- no, I’m, this is fine. I’ll just clean it up.”
“Here, I’ll help.”
Burr- Barron- whatever, leaned forward and Alex jerked back as if burned. “No. Really. I have a cloth right here.”
Which he did. He was always spilling coffee it seemed.
He bent beneath the counter, and once he was hidden, waves of terror crashed through him.
Terrified wasn’t exactly what he thought he’d feel like if he ever ran into him. But here they were. His hands shook as he scooped up the coffee and deposited the broken ceramic into a small trash can.
Good enough.
It was obvious Burr didn’t remember. Otherwise, he would have reacted when Alex said his name. So… there was nothing to do. Nothing but serve him as he would serve any other customer. It wouldn’t be fair to him otherwise.
When did his life get so complicated?
Taking a deep breath, Alex wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up. He forced a smile. “Sorry about that. And, I’m Alex.”
Burr laughed easily and shrugged. “Nice to meet you. And don’t sweat it. We all have days like that.”
“I tend to have quite a lot of them.” Alex laughed nervously.
Look at him. Small talking with his freaking murderer.
“So,” Alex gestured at the records around them. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Looking for something specific.” Please say no.
“Actually I am. I’m,” He smiled sheepishly. Burr, being sheepish. What the actual heck. “I’m a history teacher, and, I swear this is relevant, there’s a piece of music that was composed during the eighteenth century that I heard about at some point. And anyway, I thought it would be interesting to show it to the students. But, I can’t for the life of me find it anywhere. I asked around and, long story short, they said you were my best bet for rare music.”
Alex bobbed his head. Probably too many times. “So, you’re teaching like, world history?”
“American. Revolutionary War, actually.”
Alex’s voice cracked. “Oh.”
There was an awkward pause. Alex cleared his throat. “So, do you know the name of the song? The composer? Year it was made?”
Burr chewed his lip. “I… I remember learning that Thomas Jefferson, the president, I mean, was fond of it. He was there when it was composed. A friend of his was the composer.”
Alex racked his brain, wondering where he’d picked up something so obscure, but shook his head. Alex hadn’t exactly been on speaking terms with Jefferson. “Sorry, man. I’d need more information than that.”
Burr sighed. “It was a long shot anyhow. Do you have anything from that time period?”
Oh did he.
He forced himself to think. A businessman. He was being a businessman. “Uh, um, I know Thomas Jefferson liked Bach. A lot.”
Jefferson used to hum it obnoxiously loud when Alex was trying to speak.
Burr’s eyes lit up. “Anything you can think of. That would be great.”
Okay. Alright.
He could find some Bach. Scurrying, Alex got to the back of the room and flipped through several of his classical pieces. He was having a hard time gripping things. Everything kept slipping through his sweaty fingers. Bach. “Here we are.” Alex lifted a record. Nearly dropped it. “I don’t know how much you know about music-”
“Very little.”
Alex did that strange nervous laugh again, fully aware that it would seem profoundly weird to Burr. Barron. Ugh. “Well, anyway, this is great. I read in a history book once that he’d often hum it when he was trying to concentrate, or uh, trying to derail other people’s concentration.”
Burr laughed. “Alright. That is certainly interesting.”
Alex handed him the record. “It’s rare, so I doubt you’ll find it this old. It was recorded early twentieth century. More authentic, people say.”
Shrugging, Burr walked to the counter. Alex scurried after him. “Sounds good.”
Alex named his price and Burr paid without complaint. He caught a glimpse into his wallet, and Alex mentally rolled his eyes. Of course, Burr would end up rich. Again. He must have some other source of income. Unless history teachers were usually carrying that much cash these days.
As Burr folded his wallet, Alex couldn’t bear the silence. It would eat him up inside. “So, um, Revolutionary War. You know a lot about it. That’s like, Founding Fathers, right? Alexander Hamilton and stuff?”
He kicked himself.
Why did he say that? Why the heck did he say that?!
Burr’s eyes lit up again. It was strange, so very strange to see him this way. Something had happened after the war. He’d lost that light. And now it was back. “Hamilton. That’s not usually one people name. He’s a particular favorite of mine.”
Alex’s stomach fell to his converse. Right. Of course, he was.
“Bit of a prat, but a financial genius. No one ever argued that. And a brilliant lawyer. Did you know he defended one of the first suspects of a murder conviction once America was a nation?”
Yeah. He did.
Alex shook his head. “No. That’s pretty cool, though.”
Barron stared at something Alex couldn’t see but suddenly shook himself. He smiled that sheepish smile once more. “My apologies. I do not mean to give you a history lesson.”
Alex tried to keep smiling. “Well, I hope your students enjoy the music. And- and you yourself, sir.”
Burr dipped his head. “Thank you for assisting me. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
With that, he tucked the record under an arm, forced open the door, and exited into the city morning.
Everything froze.
And
Alex fell backward, landing perfectly in his swivel chair. He held up his hands to his face and watched them shake in a detached horror.
“Yo, anyone tell you your clothes look like a Grandad's? Uh, what’s up? You look like you saw a ghost.” Jack poked his head through the back door, a toothbrush still in his mouth.
Alex laughed, slightly hysterically. “I just sold an antique record to Aaron Burr.”
Jack wrinkled his nose, thinking. “Wait, like, the wig and red coat guy in the duel?”
Sure.
Alex was frozen, staring at the place Burr had been standing. He needed composure.
“He told you?”
“Hmm?” Alex forced his eyes away. “Uh. Yeah.”
Jack gave him a seriously? look. “And you just let him walk away? Alex, he’s a murder! You should have called the police!”
What? Why? “He didn’t… he didn’t do anything to me, Jack. He just wanted a record to show to his students.”
“But, dude, he’s killed, someone!”
Alex blinked, crossed his arms and turned his swivel chair to face Jack totally. “More than two hundred years ago. In an entirely different life.”
Jack shook his head. “No, no, man. You gotta get out more. They’re saying old souls are stuck in loops. They just do the same things they did in their first lives. That’s why they’re dangerous. He’ll kill again if he hasn’t already.” He cocked his head. “Actually, nevermind. Don’t call the police. I think I still have some weed in one of your lockers.”
It took Alex a second to register that. He was already thrown by Jack’s worldview. “What? Dude! You can’t just leave weed in the store!”
Jack shrugged. “Sorry?”
Alex sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands.
He was going to need more coffee.
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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/michael-che-and-colin-jost-on-snl-hosting-the-emmys-and-hating-twitter/
Michael Che And Colin Jost On 'SNL,' Hosting The Emmys And Hating Twitter
Saturday Night Live head writers and Weekend Update hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che have different attitudes toward co-hosting the Emmy awards Monday night.
Jost admits to being nervous about hosting — especially when he thinks about the show ahead of time: “I’m thinking about it in advance. That’s more nerve racking than when you’re actually out on stage.”
Che, meanwhile, takes a more laid back approach to the show. “You can’t be nervous. It’s comedy,” he says. “If I was a fireman I’d be scared. Firemen should be afraid. … But for comedy, we’re literally going out there and we’re just going to tell some jokes and people are going to like them or not. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
As co-head writers for SNL Jost and Che are used to the high pressure. “Head writer” sounds like a great and lofty title, Che says, but it’s really more of a supervisory role — someone whose job it is to think about the show overall. “We’re competing to get stuff on just like any other writer,” he explains. “You don’t walk around with a big ol’ cigar or anything like that.”
As for what being a head writer means to Jost? He answers: “Great question, we would love someone to explain it to us.”
SNL is up for 21 Emmys — including a the award for outstanding writing for a variety series.
Interview Highlights
On writing the show up to the very last minute
Colin Jost: The first part [of the show] is usually the part that’s figured out last, which is what makes the job stressful.
Michael Che: Because the news cycle is so quick now that what seems relevant Monday probably won’t by Saturday.
Jost: [SNL executive producer] Lorne [Michaels] always talks about how the first 15 minutes of the show are the most important, because if you’re tuning in, that’s your real chance to hook a viewer. The monologue is such a tricky thing always, because you want to show off who this person is, maybe in a way you haven’t seen them before … and the cold open is such a different animal, and that’s constantly shifting. The number of weeks where the cold open and the monologue are both even vaguely figured out before Thursday, it almost never happens. If it does, you just cross your fingers that those will hold up by Saturday.
On what it was like to have Donald Trump host SNL when he was campaigning for president, and whether he would be interested in having Trump back on the show
Che: [It was] working with an unfunny, insecure dude. … For me, I don’t mind anybody being on the show, because I think something good can come out of anything in comedy. But I wouldn’t go for it [again]. … I don’t know what the “win” is. I don’t think people find him funny.
On behind-the-scenes at SNL after the 2016 presidential election with host Dave Chappelle
Jost: The next day when we were there for the table read, [Chappelle] was like, “The reason you’re in comedy is to react to things that are going on and make them funny, to find humor even in whatever’s the weird, darkest things. You have to figure out how to still put on a comedy show, because that’s why you’re doing this.” I think that was just the right motivation for everyone to try to put a show together by Saturday that was still a comedy show, and I think that was reflected in his monologue really well.
Che, on his decision to comment on comedian Louis C.K. returning to the stage after admitting to sexual misconduct
Che: I truly think him going onstage and not addressing anything was insane. I don’t fault the attempt of making it right; I do fault the execution of not making it right. I think everybody has the right to defend themselves. Everybody has the right to take the opportunity to clarify or apologize or make any bad situation right, but when you don’t do it, you can’t — it’s indefensible.
On disliking Twitter — Che deleted his account several years ago
Che: I don’t like Twitter, because no one is as angry as they say they are and no one is as happy as they say they are. It’s just kind of this land of hyperbole. I have a platform. We go on TV and we’re lucky enough to be able to tweet to a camera. It’s not for me. I just don’t like the way it makes people feel. I don’t like the way it makes people gang up on other people — justly or not, it’s just uncomfortable. I don’t like it at all. It’s just a cesspool of everybody just yelling at each other. Anger and extreme joy are the only voices that get heard on Twitter.
Jost: It also used to have a great function, because you’d follow comedians or your friends who were really funny and every time you’d go on you’d see a great joke. … Having Twitter on your phone is like being with a journalist that hates you 24 hours a day. Anything you say on that can be spun. Truly, that’s what you have to think of it as.
Che: It’s like walking around with the district attorney and everything you say is just going to the district attorney.
Heidi Saman and Thea Chaloner produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the Web.
Copyright 2018 Fresh Air. To see more, visit Fresh Air.
TERRY GROSS, HOST:
This is FRESH AIR. I’m Terry Gross. My guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re also preparing to host the Emmys Monday night, and they’re nominated along with “SNL’s” other writers for best writing for a variety series. Last January, they became head writers of “SNL.” Jost had held that position once before but gave it up after becoming an update anchor. “SNL’s” new season begins September 29. Let’s start with a clip from one of last season’s final episodes. Here’s Jost and Che on May 5.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)
COLIN JOST: This Stormy Daniels payment has turned out to be the loudest hush money in history. And during his “Kings Of Dementia” comedy tour, Giuliani…
(LAUGHTER)
JOST: …Giuliani also said that the hush money was, quote, “funneled through a law firm.” Dude, funneled is not typically a word innocent people use when talking about money.
(LAUGHTER)
JOST: No one says, yeah, my grandma funneled me $5 in my birthday card.
(LAUGHTER)
MICHAEL CHE: Rudy Giuliani is claiming that President Trump only learned a week ago that he was reimbursed in Michael Cohen’s payment to Stormy Daniels in $35,000 installments. I have a couple questions.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: Like, what kind of billionaire pays for stuff in installments?
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: You’re the president of the United States. Why are you paying for sex like it’s a NordicTrack?
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: And how did y’all land on $130,000? That’s such an oddly specific number. I asked Stormy to come on “Update” and explain it, but her agent said no because if she’s seen on camera with a black guy, her price goes down.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSS: Colin Jost, Michael Che, welcome back to FRESH AIR. Congratulations on your writing nomination and on hosting. Before we get to other things, I want to talk with you about, regarding the Emmys and “SNL,” you know, I’m thinking as we record this Wednesday afternoon, East Coast time, it’s earlier than that on the West Coast, where you are. There’s a hurricane, like, a catastrophic hurricane, heading toward the Carolinas. And that’s something that you might have to – like, assuming the hurricane is anything like what they’re saying it will be, that’s something you’ll probably have to address at the Emmys. And, you know, it’s really awkward to have a celebration when people are suffering like that. So is that something you’re thinking through? Like, how are you going to deal with it?
JOST: Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, it definitely crossed my mind yesterday. I mean, you never really know what’s going to happen leading up to a big event because you’re planning it for so long and then something could dominate the news that day. But when it’s something that’s a tragedy, again, we don’t know exactly what’s going to happen yet. But the biggest thing, I think, sometimes we face at “SNL” is you want to show as much support as you can. And, you know, you want to use that moment to maybe just actually raise money for people who are there because you have a mouthpiece to tell people, go online, give money. The people in that room have money, generally. And, you know, you hope you can make it a moment just even to get support for those people.
GROSS: So the last time we spoke, Donald Trump was a presidential candidate. He wasn’t the president. It was just, like, days before the election. So the first show after the election, Dave Chappelle hosted. Chris Rock made a guest appearance. A Tribe Called Quest were the music guest. These were all people with, like, strong political points of view. And instead of an opening sketch, the opening was Kate McKinnon dressed as Hillary at the piano singing Leonard Cohen’s song, “Hallelujah.” And she ended it by saying, I’m not giving up, and neither should you. Can you take us behind the scenes a little bit and tell us what it was like, after the president was elected, trying to figure out what the first show of post-election Trump era should be?
JOST: Well, the sort of, like, amazing move from Lorne was that he had offered him that date, like, at the end of that summer. So I think he just sensed that whatever was going to happen in the election was going to be this huge moment, and he wanted to make sure whoever the host was would be someone that could deal with that and who, at that moment, people in America wanted to hear from. And that’s – I mean, Dave is basically the ideal person to do that. So he had the foresight to book that way in advance.
And then that night, you know, the election night was insane because you – I don’t know, I assumed, like, most people probably thought Hillary was going to win. And you were watching the results come in. And, you know, people were having all kinds of reactions around the office. It was very intense. And you’re then trying to write comedy and, you know, not everyone even attempted to write comedy. Some people, understandably, were very upset.
And Dave was the perfect host at that moment because the next day when we were there for the table read, you know, he was just like, the reason you’re in comedy is to react to things that are going on and make them funny, to find humor even in whatever is the weird, darkest things. You have to figure out how to still put on a comedy show ’cause that’s why you’re doing this. And I think that was just the right kind of motivation for everyone to try to put a show together by Saturday that was still a comedy show. And, you know, I think that was reflected in his monologue really well.
GROSS: So you all watched the election results at the office?
JOST: Yeah. I mean, we were there. Tuesday night is our writing night. So we’re basically there all night. You’re mostly there all night until the table read, which is Wednesday afternoon. You kind of go straight through. So normally, it would have been a later start than normal because you’re watching election results roll in. But then it was even more delayed because people were processing what was happening. I mean, it was just very shocking. Whatever – you know, whatever you expected going in, I think it was still shocking.
GROSS: So I’m asking some of these questions ’cause you’re head writers as well as “Update” anchors. Who came up with the idea of Kate McKinnon as Hillary singing “Hallelujah?”
JOST: Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider and Kate had an idea of doing some kind of song. I forget what the original – I think they had a different song originally. But they had the idea of doing something in that vein. But I don’t know if it was just Kate or if it was a whole group from the cast. I forget the original version or original origin of it. And then I know Lorne had thought of “Hallelujah” because Leonard Cohen had just – I think he had just died that week or…
GROSS: That’s right.
JOST: …Before? I forget the exact timing. And I think he just thought that might be a song that would be – that would seem sort of doubly appropriate in some way.
GROSS: So getting back to “Update,” when you do “Update” on Saturday night, it’s really Sunday morning on the East Coast ’cause by the time, you know, you’re on, it’s after midnight. Every late-night comic has done bits on the week’s news. And so, like, you’re kind of, like, late to the game in that respect. So how do you find things that are going to feel fresh at the very, very end of the week or the very beginning of the new week?
CHE: Fortunately, there’s not a lot of people that I think think like me. So I never really have a problem with finding interesting takes because I feel like when you kind of do your own thing, it’s not going to bump. You know? If I have a thought and five other comedians have that same thought then I’d feel like it’s not even worth saying. You know?
GROSS: What’s an example of a joke that you can say that you feel like other comics can’t? Can you think of one?
CHE: Well, nobody else is calling the president a cracker on national TV.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSS: Yeah (laughter). That got you a lot of love.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: Yeah. It sure did.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSS: What kind of reaction were you…
CHE: And also…
GROSS: …Expecting? Yeah. Go ahead. No. I’m kind of being sarcastic. You got it from both sides for that.
CHE: Of course.
GROSS: Yeah.
CHE: But to me, that’s interesting. That’s compelling TV.
GROSS: So…
CHE: ‘Cause there’s a lot of – I think there’s a lot of people that felt that way and was probably thinking it, as well. And I think there’s a lot of people that understood where that emotion was coming from. Sometimes – you know, it’s the same with Kate at the piano. People watching it, and some people liked it. Some people didn’t. But the thing is you believe Kate felt that, and that’s what makes it interesting. So it was honest. You know? It really came from her. It really came from a real place.
GROSS: So – yeah. Go ahead.
JOST: That week, too – I was just remembering, too, that week, I forget if we worked on it later in the week together, Che, too. But on election night, too, then we woke up after the next day or, like, you know, in our office. But I was – Neal Brennan was there, too, working on the show. He’s a writer. He worked with Chappelle on “Chappelle’s Show.” But we wrote a sketch that was in the show that week that was about the election results coming in and people watching and sort of a time lapse of how the night went as the results came in. And we wrote that essentially in response to what was happening in real time in our office that night before because, you know, the discussions were – you know, it was sort of like early joking around. Like, uh-oh, Hillary didn’t win Alabama. I bet – watch out. And then it got to, like, wait; she’s going to lose Michigan. It was like – it was that kind of thing.
And it was perfect for Dave and Chris Rock, who came in and did it, too, later in the week because they were not surprised. They were like, yeah, of course. This is how America’s going to go. And it was – they could play that attitude in the sketch. And it kind of reflected what was actually – what we were all actually figuring out in real time that night.
And I think when we read it at the table on Wednesday, which is, you know, the day after the election obviously. When we read it at the table read, it didn’t even necessarily play that hot because people were also kind of – it was very raw, so no one really wanted to relive what had just happened the night before in sketch form. But then by the – by Saturday, I think people were ready to at least laugh about it even if it was in a cathartic way. And I think that was another one where, like, Dave and Chris were perfect for that kind of – to come in and have that perspective.
CHE: It’s very helpful to have a veteran or legendary comedian like Dave where you kind of – you know, I think one of the things that years in comedy gets you is trust. And people understand how honest you are. And I think it’s a little bit more – it makes people more comfortable when they know that you’re about to speak. And it’s something that we all write toward. And hopefully someday we will create that kind of relationship with the audience.
So coming from other comedians, it might have even been a really, really tough plane to land. But Dave being who he is and people understanding how measured Dave is as a – just as a voice and as a role model I think – coming from him, it worked perfectly because I think people believed it. People said, yeah, I could see that there are people – black people and people of color that seen this happen and was probably like, yep, America’s right on time with this one, you know?
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: I think that was kind of the tone that he was trying to – that was kind of the point. And it was kind of cool to watch because not – like I said, not a lot of shows can get away with that. And not a lot of comedians can get away with that, and so that’s what makes our show special.
GROSS: Well, let’s take a short break here, and then we’ll talk some more. If you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Weekend Update.” They’re head writers on “Saturday Night Live.” And they’re preparing to host the Emmys on Monday. We’ll be right back. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF TONY Z’S “IT’S ALL THE SAME”)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Weekend Update,” head writers at “Saturday Night Live.” And now they’re preparing to host the Emmys on Monday.
So what is the job of head writer?
JOST: Great question. I mean, we would love someone to explain it to us.
GROSS: (Laughter).
CHE: Yeah, it’s a great title. People think – when they hear head writer, they think, oh, that’s the guy that writes everything and delegates. But it’s really not. It’s really more of kind of a supervisor role. But we’re competing to get stuff on just like any other writer, you know? There’s no – you don’t walk around with a big old cigar or anything like that.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: It’s not like the brochure.
JOST: No, it’s very – and very often, the – some of the time – usually the writers that are – there’s writers that are getting the most on that aren’t the head writer…
CHE: Yeah.
JOST: …Because sometimes as a head writer, you’re stuck in meetings for a while. You’re talking to the host in a different way, or you’re more hearing ideas than you are getting to write your own. So you still definitely contribute as a writer. And part of it I think is sort of trying to lead by example and just write things you think are funny.
And then the other part of it is trying as much as you can to help newer writers if they have an idea that you think could be really funny, and they’re new, so they might not totally know the structure of it or how to cast it or that kind of thing – just to help them with that because that’s what happened to us when we were new. People who are more senior, you know, really looked out and tried to make what we wrote better ’cause otherwise, it’s hard to get things on when you’re new.
CHE: Also, you’re – more so than any other writers, you’re thinking of the entire body of the show. Like, you’re thinking of the cold open. You’re thinking of the monologue. You’re thinking of the first sketch out of monologue. You’re thinking of, you know, what would be interesting, you know, what bumps. And things like that, as a head writer, you kind of have to consider more of the show as a whole as opposed to when you’re a writer, you’re just thinking about your piece and if you have a tag for somebody else’s thing or whatever. But as head writer, you kind of have to think about the entire show more so than…
JOST: In the beginning – the first part is usually the part that’s figured out last…
CHE: Right.
JOST: …Which is what makes the job stressful…
CHE: Right…
JOST: …You know?
CHE: …’Cause the news cycle is so quick now that what seems relevant Monday probably won’t by Saturday.
JOST: Yeah. You know, Lorne always talks about how the first 15 minutes of the show are the most important because that’s when you’re – if you’re tuning in, that’s your real chance to hook a viewer.
CHE: Right.
JOST: The monologue is such a tricky thing always because you want to show off who this person is maybe in a way you haven’t seen them before. And that’s a thing we often have to at least help figure out. And then the cold open is such a different animal, and that’s constantly shifting. And, you know, the number of weeks where the cold open and the monologue are both even vaguely figured out before Thursday – it almost never happens. If it does, you just cross your fingers that those will hold up by Saturday because those are – those feels like a luxury.
GROSS: The cold open is usually where the political sketch is. And if, like, Alec Baldwin is doing Trump, that’s where it is. And usually, like, if Kate McKinnon is doing Jeff Sessions, that’s where it’s going to be. So I can see why that would be kind of last-minute. And speaking of Alec Baldwin, like, do you know if he’s coming back?
JOST: We truly didn’t – someone said to us the other day, oh, you’re coming back as head writers. And we truly – no one ever told us (laughter). So we do not know. We try to just – we, like, try to figure out what we’re doing on our own and then we wait and see. But, you know…
CHE: It’s kind of like being on, like, a playoff team. Like, sometimes you might get 40 minutes. Sometimes you get 10 minutes. You know, sometimes you start, and certain combinations work. So you never really know. It’s more so about, how do we execute the best show? So it’s a weird place of – it’s always in the moment.
GROSS: So what…
CHE: So it’s kind of hard to answer that, you know?
JOST: There’s times you don’t learn about, like – you don’t learn about a new credit or something you’re getting until someone in your family sees it in the scroll at the end of the show.
CHE: Right.
JOST: And you’re like, oh, I guess that kicked in this week or, you know…
GROSS: Did that happen to you?
JOST: You know, you just…
CHE: Well, I didn’t know I had – I didn’t know I was a writer on the show until, like, three weeks after I was a writer on the show.
JOST: What do you mean?
CHE: Well, I remember Seth was like, you know you’re hired for this evening.
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: And I had no idea. I thought I was still – because I came…
JOST: Oh, that’s right.
CHE: …In on a guest contract, so that was, like, week to week. And I was working there for about two weeks. Like, I was already there, and they were like, you know you’re hired, right? Like, you work here.
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: Seth, who was head writer at the time – I had no clue. No one told me. And this was in the middle of a production week.
JOST: It’s not always a great communication place.
CHE: No, yeah.
JOST: But – and part of that is – I mean, it’s really just the velocity of the show sometimes. There’s so many moving pieces that not everyone is told everything all the time. And the reality is we would basically be doing a similar job regardless of what our title was.
CHE: Right.
JOST: Like, we were – when we were added as head writers with Kent and Bryan, or when Chris and Sarah had been head writers, too – like, you’re doing effectively the same job. You’re in most of the same meetings because we’ve been there for a while, and you’re – you would do the same hard work. And you would do the same – you would care in the same way about the show, regardless of what your title is.
GROSS: My guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re also head writers on the show. They’re hosting the Emmys Monday night. Here’s a clip of Che on “Update” from last season’s finale.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)
CHE: A report has found that 86 percent of people arrested in New York for marijuana possession are black or Latino. Well, duh. We’re the only ones they search. That’s like saying the only people that have STDs are the people that take tests for STDs. We’re not the only ones that carry drugs. If cops searched white dudes in cargo shorts as much as they search black dudes in hoodies, prison would look like a Dave Matthews concert.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: You know, people are always talking about needing diversity in Hollywood. You know where we really need diversity? Jail.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: Forget about #OscarsSoWhite. How about prisons is too black…
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: …Colin?
(LAUGHTER)
GROSS: We’ll hear a clip from Colin Jost on “Update” after a break. And we’ll talk more with Colin Jost and Michael Che. I’m Terry Gross, and this is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. I’m Terry Gross. Let’s get back to my interview with Colin Jost and Michael Che, the anchors of “Saturday Night Live’s” “Weekend Update.” They’re preparing for the new season, which starts September 29. They’re also preparing to host the Emmys Monday night. They’re nominated, along with “SNL’s” other writers, for best writing for a variety series. Last January, they became head writers of SNL. Jost had held that position before but gave it up after becoming an “Update” anchor. We just heard an excerpt of Che on “Update.” Here’s Jost from last February after President Trump’s first State of the Union address and Trump’s tweets about it.
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”)
JOST: President Trump also tweeted that he had the highest ratings ever for a State of the Union address, which – get this – wasn’t true.
(LAUGHTER)
JOST: And this time, even Fox News fact-checked on him. You know you’re running your mouth too much when even your hype man is like, yo, that ain’t exactly accurate, though.
(LAUGHTER)
JOST: So sorry.
CHE: That was good.
JOST: Oh, thank you. Then in a new interview, President Trump stated that he is not a feminist. Was he getting accused of that a lot?
(LAUGHTER)
GROSS: Michael Che, one of the things that you’ve said that’s controversial is, you were talking about Louis C.K. doing a set, you know, kind of testing out new material, showing up as a surprise to the audience. And there were a lot of complaints. Like, the public isn’t ready to see Louis C.K. yet. And you tweeted that, you know, he should be able – it wasn’t tweeted. It was on your Instagram.
You said a lot of what I read says that C.K. shouldn’t get to be a famous comedian anymore because to them he’s still winning, isn’t that strange? Meaning, he can be shamed, humiliated, lose millions of dollars, lose all of his projects, lose the respect of a lot of his fans and peers and whatever else that comes with what he did. But since he can still do a comedy set for free at a 200-seat club a year later, it means he got off easy. That’s how coveted fame is.
After the response you got to that – you know, a lot of negative responses to that – how do you feel about what you said?
CHE: I think it was extremely ill-timed. I mean, the thing about when you write anything, you kind of surrender the context and you kind of surrender the way it will be presented to people and how people will – the tone it will take, you know?
So I think if you – you could cleverly make that to seem like a terrible thing. And you can make it seem like what it was, which was just me saying I just think it’s interesting what the power of fame and what the power of stage, how it’s perceived, you know? I just think it’s extremely interesting. And that was like something that was kind of selfishly a thing that came to my head immediately when I read those stories.
GROSS: What do you mean selfishly? Meaning, because you’re famous?
CHE: Well, it’s selfishly because I work in this business. And you realize that you’re extremely lucky to. And people are very, very – it’s a privilege. You know, it really is a privilege to be able to work. It’s a privilege to be able to do this and have a job that you really, really care about and that people love and respect. And they will take it away from you, you know? Whether you like it, they will take it away from you. And they remind you, like, hey, you know we will take this away from you.
And I think that’s kind – that was what I was talking about. I wasn’t really even talking about Louis necessarily. I was using him as an example because it was something that reminded me of, wow, this is kind of a special thing that we get to do. And he could go through whatever he went through, which seems scary as hell, deserved. And people will still say, well, you get to – you still get to do this thing. And that bothers me.
GROSS: I think…
CHE: Them saying that. Not me, obviously.
GROSS: Yeah, I think what’s bothering a lot of women is that if he – he doesn’t seem to have done anything as of yet to change. He said he’s going spend a lot of time just, like, listening and thinking.
CHE: Yeah.
GROSS: And if there’s evidence that he’s changed, he hasn’t presented it yet. And I think that was what was bothering a lot of people.
CHE: Yeah. No.
GROSS: Like, he’s back on stage. But, like, what’s different? What’s changed?
CHE: None. You know what? And I’ll – it is so crazy because I was just talking about this with somebody. But that’s kind of – I don’t agree. I don’t disagree with any of that. Like, I truly think him going on stage and not addressing anything was insane, you know? And I don’t fault that he – I don’t fault the attempt of making it right. I do fault the execution of not making it right, if that makes sense. You know, like I think – I think everybody has the right to defend themselves. Everybody has the right to take the opportunity to clarify or apologize or make any bad situation right. But when you don’t do it, you can’t – it’s indefensible. You know, like what can you say? And I think that he missed a big opportunity to make that right.
GROSS: So is this – Michael Che, is this one of the reasons why you’re not on Twitter anymore? What we were talking about was Instagram. But still, is this – is this…
CHE: I don’t like Twitter because it’s – yeah, it’s – no one’s as angry as they say they are. No one’s as happy as they say they are.
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: It’s just kind of this land of hyperbole that I don’t – I have a platform. Like, I have – we go on TV. And we’re lucky enough to be able to tweet to a camera and speak. So it’s not for me. I just don’t like – I don’t like the way it makes people feel. I don’t like the way it makes people gang up on other people.
Justly or not, it’s just uncomfortable. It’s – I don’t like it at all. It’s just a cesspool of everybody just yelling at each other. And the anger and – anger and, like – and I don’t know what the opposite of anger is, but I’ve never experienced it.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: Anger. Anger and the opposite.
JOST: Peace. Joy. I don’t know.
CHE: Anger and extreme joy are the only voices that get heard on Twitter, you know?
GROSS: One thing I have to say is that if you’re following terrific journalists on Twitter, you get the news really quickly. You get links to great articles really quick.
JOST: Yeah.
GROSS: Like, that’s a terrific function that Twitter serves.
JOST: Well, it also used to be – it also used to have a great function because you’d follow comedians or your friends who are really funny. And every time you go on, you’d see like a great joke. You know, and it was…
CHE: Everybody is just so scared to death on there, man.
JOST: Yeah.
CHE: It’s a – I don’t know, Terry. We got to – we have to talk about this more.
GROSS: (Laughter).
CHE: I’m going to get you off Twitter.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: It’s just – it doesn’t make sense.
JOST: Yeah.
CHE: It really doesn’t.
GROSS: I don’t tweet. I just read good journalists. And…
CHE: And you know why?
JOST: It’s lost that…
CHE: And why don’t you tweet?
JOST: Yeah.
CHE: And why don’t you tweet? Because you know that if you say one thing just in the heat of…
GROSS: You know why I don’t tweet?
CHE: Yes, please.
GROSS: There are several reasons. One is I would be writing a tweet and then I’d be thinking, let me think, let me sleep on that – and then edit it in the morning.
CHE: Yes. Right.
GROSS: And that’s not the spirit of Twitter. And I don’t have the time. I spend so much time working on the show.
CHE: Right.
GROSS: Tweeting would just be another assignment. It would just be more work. So I like reading journalists. I like reading comics. But I don’t want to tweet.
CHE: You’re one – and I totally agree with you. It’s like you have to think of it as if – this has to be able to stand up when I don’t have control of it anymore. This statement – it’s in black and white.
JOST: It’s a full press release.
CHE: It’s a press release.
JOST: Anything that used to be authentic.
CHE: You’re just doing mini press releases on something that you thought about for 30 seconds. But the crazy part is it lulls you into thinking, oh, this is just an interaction. This is a casual conversation. And then next thing you know, you’re held to that forever. Like, if you said this one thing, that means that’s what you believe. Ten years from now, if you want to run for president, but wait a minute – you believe this thing because you said it in 2009.
JOST: Right (laughter).
CHE: And people don’t want to hear anything else. There’s no – it’s insane that people base articles on this. They base what jobs you should be able to have based on something you said flippantly in a conversation getting the news as it was happening.
JOST: Having a…
CHE: It’s just an insane responsibility.
JOST: Having Twitter on your phone is like being with a journalist that hates you 24 hours a day.
GROSS: (Laughter).
CHE: Yeah, seriously.
JOST: Anything you say will – on that can be spun. I mean, truly that’s what you have to think of it as.
CHE: Yeah. It’s like walking around with the district attorney, and everything you say is just going to the district attorney.
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: And you’re like, why am I doing this?
GROSS: I see you both have very strong feelings about this. Let me reintroduce you. If you’re just joining us, my guests are Colin Jost and Michael Che, anchors of “Weekend Update,” head writers of “Saturday Night Live.” And they’re now preparing to host the Emmys Monday. We’ll be right back. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF THE INTERNET SONG, “STAY THE NIGHT”)
GROSS: This is FRESH AIR. And if you’re just joining us, my guests are Michael Che and Colin Jost, the anchors of “Weekend Update.” They’re also head writers of “Saturday Night Live.” And Monday they’ll be hosting the Emmys.
So it was very controversial when “Saturday Night Live” had Donald Trump – candidate Trump guest hosting the show. And you were doing Update back then. And we talked about that a little bit the last time you were on. But…
JOST: Right, right.
GROSS: And there were protests and everything that you were having him on. Would you have President Trump on the show?
CHE: I mean, to me, I don’t mind anybody being on the show because I think something good can come out of anything in comedy, you know? But I wouldn’t go for it. I don’t know what the win is. Like, I don’t think people find him funny.
GROSS: What was it like to work with him before he became president?
CHE: It was like working with any unfunny, insecure dude, you know, just like a – you know?
JOST: No.
CHE: That’s another thing. Like, when you see him as a human and then he’s in this kind of larger-than-life chair, it kind of – I don’t know.
GROSS: Michael, you said that when Trump was on the show during his candidacy, that he seemed insecure. What made him seem that way?
CHE: Well, most people are insecure when they come on our show just because it’s a scary thing to do. You know, it’s very hard to be on live TV. It’s very hard to be around so much – a very talented cast that’s used to it, and you kind of got to keep up with them. And the speed of the show is very intimidating. And I think it humanizes a lot of people. It humanizes most people that host the show, so – and also, you always think you’re funny until you’re in front of an audience, you know, especially an audience that’s not necessarily your audience.
GROSS: But did he do particularly things that made him seem insecure?
CHE: There’s always a code of we know how hard the job is, so, you know, it’s almost doctor-patient privilege…
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: …When you host the show.
GROSS: Sure.
JOST: It’s HIPAA.
CHE: Yeah. It’s kind of that where we don’t kind of, you know, spill everybody’s tea, as the kids say.
GROSS: So I want to ask you about the Mother’s Day show when each cast member’s mother comes out and talks about their child, who’s the cast member, except for Michael Che’s mother. So on Update, Melissa McCarthy, playing your stepmother…
CHE: (Laughter).
GROSS: …Comes out wearing this, like…
JOST: (Laughter).
GROSS: …Pink T-shirt that says, like, world’s proudest stepmother on it – or stepmom. And so I hope it’s not putting you too much on the spot to ask. How come your mother wasn’t there?
CHE: My mother doesn’t really like cameras. She doesn’t even like still photos. So it was kind of hard to get her to sign up for live TV. And it’s – to me, it’s mind-boggling with anybody. Just – I know how nerve-wracking it is for us as professionals to be up there on home base. But for someone that’s not even a professional comedian to be like, sure, I’ll do that for Mother’s Day and try to land a joke, it’s kind of cool to see. And it was a lot of great moments. But my mother just doesn’t like, really, like, TV and cameras. But turns out Melissa McCarthy is a much better comedian than my mother…
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: …Is what I’m trying to say. Who knew?
GROSS: Would you describe the sketch – because it’s too visual to just, like, play the audio.
CHE: Melissa McCarthy comes out as my mother on Update. And she’s very, very, very motherly. She’s wiping crust off my face. And she’s a little bit smothering. And she’s extremely supportive. And it’s a little annoying. But also it’s my mom, so it’s very – it’s pretty close to my actual relationship with my mother probably.
GROSS: Seriously?
JOST: If I could brag about Michael’s acting in it, I thought he was especially good playing opposite Melissa. And I thought it was – he played it in a…
CHE: Well…
JOST: …Very real way that you would want to try to keep on the positive side of it while also being annoyed by it.
CHE: You know, I’m not even going to let anybody give me credit for that. It’s Melissa McCarthy flying, so you just sit. It’s like everything’s better with bacon. Everybody’s funnier with Melissa McCarthy…
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: …Doing the heavy lifting, so I’m just sitting there watching most of the time.
GROSS: So I think it’s interesting how comedy is changing in the sense that, like, there were so many comics for so many years – and maybe there still is at comedy clubs – telling, like, sexist jokes about sex and about women. And I think – I hope that it’s more difficult to do that now.
CHE: Well, I think it’s hard to – being in comedy is kind of hard ’cause, like, I’m exposed to so much comedy. And most of the country and most of the world knows maybe five to ten stand-up comedians, so – and they base all of stand-up – of the thousands of stand-up, they base everything based on, you know, who’s popular at the time. And it’s usually only five or 10 guys that are extremely popular and crossover mainstream.
But as somebody that works in comedy, I think for years – and even studying comedy as a kid, like, there’s always going to be jokes that was funny 20 years ago that won’t be acceptable years later. I mean, as a black person, you know, there’s stuff that doesn’t fly – you know what I mean? – that would have. There used to be comedians that came out in blackface that was white, you know? Like, that’s completely not acceptable anymore.
And I think that’s always going to be the case. More people – especially now that media is so much bigger and more people have voices, they can say, look; even with the Louis situation – like, yeah, Louis can go out there. But also, people have the right to come out and say, you know what? We don’t want to see and we don’t want to support anybody that supports him. And that’s your right, too. And I think that’s you know, that’s something – as a performer, you have to deal with people can reject you. Just the way you can comment on everybody, they can comment on you. And that’s the way it is, you know? You kind of got to take what you get from that.
GROSS: So…
JOST: And there’s two things – there’s two elements to anything like that is – one is, how does it fly among your peers? You know, if someone’s a comedian and they’re doing jokes like that now, it’s not even your peers – your peers would probably just be like, why? (Scoffing) Like, what? That doesn’t seem, like, well, I mean, they might not even say that to you. They might just not really want to hang out with you or really think that that was a great – whatever, you know. That’s part of it. And the other is just audience.
GROSS: So I think I need to let you go and get back to preparing for the Emmys. Just a question – are you nervous?
CHE: No.
GROSS: (Laughter).
JOST: I was going to say yes.
CHE: No. It’s not – you can’t be nervous. It’s just – it’s comedy. It’s, like, literally comedy. Even if it’s bad, that’s pretty funny too.
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: Worst-case scenario – it’s terrible, and it’s funny that it’s so bad. So it’s – you know, it’s nothing to be afraid of. Nobody – like, this isn’t a real – this isn’t a real job, you know?
JOST: That’s a good – I didn’t really think about…
CHE: If I was a fireman, I’d be…
JOST: (Laughter).
CHE: …I mean, firemen should be afraid.
JOST: I’d be very nervous.
CHE: Brain surgeons – but, like, for comedy, we’re literally going out there, and we’re just going to tell some jokes. And people are going to like them or not. But it’s nothing to be afraid of.
GROSS: Colin, you have…
JOST: Well, thank you. This is actually a good…
GROSS: …Fireman in your family.
JOST: I do.
GROSS: Do you see it that way, too – that, like, fire is something to be afraid of? Comedy isn’t worth getting really…
JOST: Well…
GROSS: …Worried about because it’s just comedy?
JOST: …Certainly, fire is a lot – (laughter) – a lot scarier. Yeah, as the first, basically, non-hero in my family…
GROSS: (Laughter).
JOST: …It’s – I don’t – no, I get nervous because I’m more nervous leading up to it than I am…
GROSS: Because you have higher standards than Michael Che has.
JOST: Exactly.
(LAUGHTER)
CHE: I don’t have high standards at all, man. This is back-of-the-classroom humor. I’m throwing spitballs at everybody. I could care less, you know? What’s there to be afraid of?
JOST: I get nervous more when I’m not – when it’s not in front of me. When I’m thinking about it in advance, that’s more nerve wracking than when you’re actually out on stage and you’re feeling. Then you know what it’s like to be on stage, and then that feels a lot more liberating. It’s more the lead up to it where – I don’t know – having not actually gone through it before, where that’s more nerve wracking for me. But I would still take it over fires.
GROSS: Good luck to both of you. Thank you so much for coming back on our show. I really enjoyed it. And…
JOST: Thank you for having us.
GROSS: Yeah, my pleasure. Good luck on Monday.
Colin Jost and Michael Che are the anchors of “SNL’s” “Weekend Update” and are head writers on the show. Monday night, they’ll host the Emmys, which will be broadcast on NBC. After we take a short break, David Bianculli will review the new Hulu drama series “The First,” starring Sean Penn. This is FRESH AIR.
(SOUNDBITE OF JAMES HUNTER SONG, “I’LL WALK AWAY”) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
Source: http://www.wfae.org/post/michael-che-and-colin-jost-snl-hosting-emmys-and-hating-twitter
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Parental Guidance: Flushed Away
So I tried to write a review for Flushed Away yesterday, just to see if I could write one for a kid’s film. Turns out I suck at doing that even more than I do at writing them for adults. I couldn’t write from any other perspective than my own, and found myself assessing it by criteria that the majority of children would likely never notice or care about. So, in with that in mind, and an increasing number of my friends having kids lately, I’ve decided to review Flushed Away for the parents that will be watching the film. I’ll be judging it on its merits as a film, as well as whether it’ll irritate the shit out of you, how rewatchable it is, and whether it’ll traumatise your kids. Note that the overall score is not an aggregate of the others, it’s simply my overall recommendation based on my final, personal opinion. Enjoy!
Flushed Away is far from the best-known of Aardman Animation’s feature films, and when preceded by such pedigree as the hugely successful Chicken Run and Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, one can see how Aardman’s follow-up - their first foray into the CGI world, and their last picture with Dreamworks - would really need to make a mark in order to compare. It did not, despite making nearly £200 million, it was labelled a box office failure by Dreamworks and their agreement with Aardman came to an end. Which, thinking about it, might have been for the best, because whilst Flushed Away is a good film with a lot of positives, it feels like it’s drifted away from the Aardman we know and love in some way, and one may get the feeling that Dreamworks, in giving Aardman their highest budget yet, shaved some of the quirkier edges off of the production, leaving it feeling like it has slightly less of its own personality that it ought to, but this shouldn’t scare anyone away from seeing what is a quirky, charming, and impeccably acted film.
Flushed Away is the story of Roddy St James (Hugh Jackman), the pet rat of an affluent family living in the upper-class London borough of Kensington. When a sewer rat climbs out of the drains and invades his house, Roddy is flushed down the toilet to an underground city populated by the rat underclass. After lots of yelling, screaming, and bumping-into-things-and-setting-off-Rube-Goldberg-type-catastrophes, Roddy meets Rita (Kate Winslet), a plucky scavenger fleeing the cronies of The Toad (Ian McKellan) - the maniacal villain intent on ridding the city of rats and populating it with his tadpoles. Roddy’s self-interest in returning home leads to a back-and-forth in which he and Rita betray one-another, before finally uniting in opposition to their common enemy. Along the way Roddy learns that despite having all the possessions in the world, he was missing the one thing the underclass rats had in abundance - companionship - and he leaves his life above for adventures down below.
It’s a rather simplistic plot with a well-trodden execution, but while the initial 10-20 minutes of shouty-shouty may strain the patience of the adult viewer, Flushed Away comes into its own once we meet the stunning cast and the performances are given a chance to shine; and boy do they shine. One thing Aardman films seem to do well in a way that many animated films fail to match (I’m looking at you, Gnomeo & Juliet, which I’ll be reviewing next) is elicit quirky, engaging, and thoroughly entertaining performances from A-list actors, often giving them ability to flex their acting muscle. McKellan is fantastic as the insane Toad - his best melodramatic LOTR howling blends with a cackling villiany that his subdued Magneto was never allowed to offer; Bill Nighy is a standout in his understated and hilarious role as a dim-witted albino rat Whitey; Jean Reno gives the most entertaining performance I’ve ever seen (heard?) from him as the French assassin ‘Le Frog’ (He’s funny. FUNNY. Typecast Francey Man McFrowny-face is funny.)
And this is really the triumph of the film - it’s clear that the actors had an immense amount of freedom and fun in recording their roles, and this gives the film a huge amount of life. The leads - Winslet and Jackman are also great, although being the leads they’re given less wiggle-room in their interpretations. Jackman seemed to me like an odd choice at first - Roddy has more than a little Hugh Grant about him and it’s not like England lacks Hugh Grants, not to mention that I’ve often found Jackman to be rather uninteresting on-screen - but he's actually quite an uninhibited voice actor and his natural charm is ultimately very winning and works well with the cheesy grin of the ‘Aardman face’. Winslet is similarly charismatic, and deftly juggles the warmth and sassiness of her character to offer a surprisingly truthful and winning performance; her affected working-class brogue allowing her to disappear into her role.
This said, aside from the performances and some aspects of the unfolding plot, Flushed Away is a pretty standard affair. The move to CGI removes some of the irreplaceable style Aardman have always traded on, and while the efforts have been made to animate the film in such a way as to best imitate stop-motion, the unimpressive visual quality simply leaves it looking flat and cheap for the most part. The action is heavily slapstick as well, and you’ll sit through a lot of characters screaming as they’re flung from one thing to another time and time again, and I’m sure it appeals to a younger, less jaded generation, but I realised that I was getting old when I found myself passively annoyed by it.
But what else would you expect? Flushed Away isn’t Wallace & Gromit, it’s an expensive Dreamworks film, and it feels like it. It’s certainly not terrible by any stretch – the soundtrack is excellent and a fantastic example of using well-placed licensed music to enhance an action sequence (*sideways glance at Gnomeo and Juliet*), and there’s a good deal of laughs-aloud to be found; the characters are strong and their actors’ performances fantastic; it’s not as blatantly manipulative as, say, Finding Dory – you care for the characters because they grow on you and their changes are motivated, not because they’re tiny little fishies with big ol’ eyes and they lost their mummies. It’s a really entertaining film, not Aardman’s strongest, but certainly a fun addition to the home catalogue.
Laughs: 7
Some genuine laugh-out-loud moments and unexpected humour. The slugs will win you and your children over.
Visuals: 6
There’s a lot of nice detail in the world, but the flat, textureless CGI means it has not aged well.
Performances: 9
Very high-quality performances with a range of quality actors allowed to get a bit silly with the material.
Plot: 6
Well-trodden fish-out-of-water/wrong-side-of-the-tracks affair. The motivation for the lead is that he’s lonely, but this is not particularly well-established. It’s hard to give a solid score, but it’s scaled up to a 6 because it gets better.
Obnoxiousness: 4
It’s a pretty harmless film, although much of the action relies on screamy Rube Goldberg trails of destruction.
Timelessness: 6
Certainly rewatchable due to the detail in the world, the great performances, the fantastic, well-integrated soundtrack, and the decent script. The relentless slapstick action might irritate quickly though.
Hardcore Rating: 2
There’s little-to-nothing scary about this film. Even the bad guys are funny in their own right.
Overall: 7/10
Flushed Away isn’t a technical marvel, nor will it likely be held with the same esteem as its compatriots, but the performances are deeply charming, and the story and characters grow on you as it progresses. Come the end of it, I was quite impressed.
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