#a 4's awareness of true negativity makes their love feel more authentic and secure than a 2's love; which isn't aware of negativity.

[funkymbtifiction]

Enneagram 3: The Performer

Healthy Threes pursue being known and loved for their true self, rather than merely to look good or their accomplishments. They still love to set goals, rise to challenges, and solve problems, but do not base their self-worth on these things. They balance their abundant energy between work, rest, and contemplation, and embrace the art of being rather than doing. Since they feel valuable, they are full of tender benevolence focused on the common good. They have nothing to prove and celebrate your successes, rather than compete with you.

Three Traits

Threes tend to over-achieve and need to win

Threes believe you must earn love through achievement

Threes worry bad performance may cause them to lose value with others

Threes struggle not to find failure unacceptable

Threes hate to admit to their mistakes

Threes may fabricate their achievements to impress others

Threes may struggle to tell the difference between their authentic self and their fake image, and may believe the illusion

Threes are social chameleons

Threes may do feelings instead of have feelings, mirror them but struggle to recognize and connect to their emotions

Threes may want the perfect family but choose work instead

Threes are usually skilled multi-taskers

Enneagram Wings & Health

3w2: are charming and intimate, often at home in front of the camera, full of lust for attention and achievement. They can become angry or hostile when they feel unappreciated or ignored. Often direct their energy toward helping others succeed, and in earning rewards for achievements.

3w4: struggles to reconcile their need to perform and project an image with their 4-centric desire to be authentic and different from others; this makes them more introspective and in touch with their emotions and shame than the other 3s. They are sensitive, artistic, creative, and intense, focused on crafting ‘the right image’ for the public. They may be pretentious.

Under stress: Threes act like unhealthy Nines, through slothful behaviors (time-wasting or busying themselves with unimportant tasks to avoid more challenging ones). They appear exhausted and overworked, lose their optimism and charisma, wallow in self-doubt, and lose all interest in maintaining their external appearance.

When feeling secure: Threes move to the positive side of Six, where they become warmer, more in touch with their feelings, and aware of others’ emotional needs. Their defensiveness and competitiveness fades and gives them more energy to devote to their relationships. They want to connect to something bigger than themselves and no longer need to be the center of attention.

Advice for the 3: learn to have some down time for contemplation. Find someone to help you toward authenticity instead of illusions. Base your definition of success on your feelings, desires, and values, not external influences. Discover your true self, before your life falls apart and forces you to search for answers. You can be successful as your true self. Remember what you sacrifice in racing to cross the finish line. Go on vacation, and leave your work at home. Let someone else lead once in awhile, and stand behind them. Find a close friend you can be honest with, who still loves you even when you’re a total disaster.

Influences on MBTI Types:

ISTJ: more prone to leadership and comfortable with attention than other ISTJs; may develop a strong desire to ‘achieve’ on a competitive level, and show little interest in undertaking the work of others unless it promotes their personal success; may sacrifice personal values to ‘get ahead’ in the professional sphere, and be out of touch with what truly drives them; will channel their productivity into areas of strength, where Si-dom precision can cause them, through repeated behaviors, to become ‘the best.’

ESTJ: may have severe workaholic tendencies, which will result in further stinting inferior Fi development, rendering them unable to know what they truly want in life instead of simply pursuing monetary success; Si and 3 will fight over wanting the ‘ideal’ family image, but not being able to maintain it on an emotional (inferior Fi) level; often highly competitive in their field and aggressive in competing for attention and praise.

ISFJ: a down to earth but charming type, often focused on impressing their friends and family with society-influenced status symbols (the best car, the nicest house, the coolest purse, the cutest boyfriend); may say and do things just to impress others, and desperately covet and seek out their attention and praise (and need their approval and for them to be ‘in awe’) but have trouble talking about their true feelings or even admitting to them; not having ‘true’ friends will cause insecurities; may be prone to severe Si/Ti loops in which one analyzes past failures and mistakes. Prone to staying in their ‘comfort zone’ and very upset if they fail at something they have done a thousand times perfectly before.

ESFJ: will be in charge of every group, at the forefront of each public appearance, and will constantly step forward to lead, with the desire to impress others and win their approval; may find it hard to let others succeed, or to ‘lose’ anything they feel they should have won; tends to have tons of friends, but few they can turn to when their life goes in the toilet; may maintain illusions about success even when they have failed, for fear others will have no use for them unless they maintain the illusion. Si will make them specialize in a few strong personal areas (and become ‘indispensable’ to their work / organization) and Ne fear what ‘could happen’ if that goes away / being their true self; has inferior Ti problems of not being able to self-analyze / detach from their persona.

INTJ: more prone to leadership and comfortable with attention than other INTJs; may develop a strong desire to ‘achieve’ on a competitive level, and show little interest in undertaking the work of others unless it promotes their personal success; may sacrifice personal values to ‘get ahead’ in the professional sphere, and be out of touch with what truly drives them; may fall into the trap of unrealistic Ni-dom thinking that if they cannot bring their perfect vision into reality, they are worthless, and/or focus on personal symbols of ‘success’ (something that represents their entire success, such as an expensive car or watch); will play out ‘symbols of success’ through inferior Se (lavish taste).

ENTJ: may have severe workaholic tendencies, which will result in further stinting inferior Fi development, rendering them unable to know what they truly want in life instead of simply pursuing monetary success; high Se will make them incredibly focused on impressive / expensive symbols of personal success (gorgeous partners, expensive clothing / cars, luxury items, etc); often extremely focused on their personal appearance; may ‘put all their eggs’ into one basket, and base their self-worth on whether or not they can achieve their great, over-reaching (maybe impossible) personal vision for the future.

INFJ: often excessively symbol-focused, prone to tunnel vision, and much harder on themselves for perceived laziness and failures; the drive of 3 will develop inferior Se into ‘action mode’ but high Ni may make them severe upon themselves if they lack perfection or miss their goal by mere inches; sometimes prone to unreasonable expectations and standards of personal behavior; often gregarious and well-liked, but hides anything ‘unpleasant’ that shatters the illusion of perfection; very focused on appearances, somewhat out of touch with their true feelings, and prone to Ni/Ti loops (analyzing and refining their future vision, rather than seeing external factors that could alter it).

ENFJ: an over-achiever who may take on more than they can handle, due to their aux-Ni tendency to neglect details; extremely image-conscious and often intent on impressing others through symbols of their success and/or wealth; Fe-dom will make them want to build true connections, but also further obscure their true feelings (and ignore them, in favor of social harmony); may feel the need to perform constantly, and earn everyone’s approval; often reads whether people will be ‘useful’ to them or not (Fe/Ni) and tunes out those who are not; has inferior Ti problems of not being able to self-analyze / detach from their persona.

ESTP: the ultimate smooth-talking successful businessman type; a natural charmer and performer, who uses tert-Fe to woo people but often does not know what is real (the persona) and what is not (his/her true self); Se-dom + 3 results in an extreme focus on sensory impact, which means this type is ruthless about others’ physical appearances and their own overall sensory presentation; often good at reading subtle signs in other people, and may deviate from already nebulous morals to ‘achieve’ or ‘get ahead.’ May fail, with inferior Ni, to consider the consequences of being insincere or lying to impress others.

ISTP: an effective and flashy problem solver, more prone to consideration toward the long-term benefits of certain decisions (or consequences of actions) but totally unable to access or deal with their feelings (especially negative ones) in healthy or productive ways; like all the Se types, image-conscious and sensory-pleasure-driven (pursuit of ‘impressive’ toys that scream to the world ‘I am successful’).

ESFP: focused on momentary success and pleasures, and prone to Se/Te looping to get it (leaping on success in the short term, in whatever way they think will earn the most attention), which means under-development of aux-Fi (which may also cause problems with Fi’s desire to be truthful / authentic and 3’s desire to impress). Se-dom + 3 results in an extreme focus on sensory impact, which means this type is ruthless about others’ physical appearances and their own overall sensory presentation; may fail, with inferior Ni, to consider the consequences of being insincere or lying to impress others.

ISFP: more outward-focused than other FiSe types, unable to gauge what will impress others, so focused on what THEY would find impressive in someone else; puts a lot of strain on inferior Te to out-perform the competition and perform well, sometimes exhausting oneself in the process (may fall into 9-ish qualities in-between bouts of extreme hyper-focus and energy). Strong emphasis on sensory appearance (meticulous presentation, pride in one’s appearance, and, like all the Se types, may exercise, maintain hair / nails, etc) and a search for a personal vision (aux Ni) that could set them apart.

ENTP: the ultimate smooth-talking successful businessman type; a natural charmer and performer, who uses tert-Fe to woo people but often does not know what is real (the persona) and what is not (his/her true self); Ne-dom + 3 will make it hard for the ENTP to ‘find their true self’ or get a strong sense of their limitations and/or true abilities (instead of Ne-dom exaggeration). May be too opportunistic in the moment, or deviate from their nebulous moral standards, to get ahead; could find it hard to be sincere with others or get in touch with their feelings. Former failures may haunt them for decades through inferior Si.

INTP: 3 will bring out more Fe in this INTP than in other types; they will want to succeed in their field and achieve public recognition, awards, or other socially-recognized forms of success; prone to methodical work, and less inclined to throw their ideas into the world without Si-driven detail-focus than others, since any failure and/or half-baked hypothesis will threaten their personal image.

ENFP: often good at using their intuition to get a read on potential ways to succeed and on leaping on those chances (Ne/Te loop), which means under-development of aux-Fi (which may also cause problems with Fi’s desire to be truthful / authentic and 3’s desire to impress). More image-focused than other ENFPs (want their appearance meticulous and crafts it to please others and/or show their success). Former failures may haunt them for decades through inferior Si.

INFP: more outward-focused than other FiNe types, but focused on intuiting what will impress others and/or on achieving personal goals, based on former experiences (something they saw another person do, which impressed them, and they want to emulate through similar achievement – Fi/Si + 3); puts a lot of strain on inferior Te to out-perform the competition and perform well, sometimes exhausting oneself in the process (may fall into 9-ish qualities in-between bouts of extreme hyper-focus and energy), but also struggles with indecision and self-doubt (Ne) while falling prey to Fi/Si loops about past mistakes or failures (and fearing they cannot perform well in the future).

- ENFP Mod

[weirdfella]

The INFJ-Enneatype Mix

by emeraldsea (X) (X) 

A glimpse of what INFJs of each enneatype tend to look like, with a focus on positive traits of psychologically average to healthy individuals of each type: INFJ Type 1 Very strong on values, they are like a bulwark, and you can count on them. In mentoring and counseling others, they are extraordinarily gifted in achieving the perfect balance of holding others accountable in a gracious but firm way, while trying to help them work through their issues. One of their strongest ethics will be kindness - their ethical fortitude, combined with Fe, makes for someone who will be very loving and gracious. Their demeanor won't be overtly emotional but it will have an emotional undercurrent you may be able to sense, a "flair" about it - it's hard to put this into words. 1s in general are very self-critical and perfectionist by nature, and they will notice in the environment where others aren't living up to their ethics, and are likely to try to inspire, direct, or prompt them to do so. An INFJ 1 will do so, but with the magnanimity and sensitivity of Fe. they often crusade for a cause; or they may become courageous, inspiring, effective agents for social change. Their 1 core, combined with Fe, will look a lot like Fi, so they may seem to be INFPs; but they aren't. INFJ Type 2 One of the warmest, most friendly, almost extrovertish-seeming INFJs, they thrive on making connections with other people. This INFJ is likely to talk to you first, befriend you, be overtly compassionate and empathetic, and help you out in any way possible. You won't be able to miss their Fe ~ they will be encouraging you, being sweet to you, all the things you expect from Fe. For instance, if you are in the hospital, this INFJ is likely to anticipate what all your needs may be - come and bring your family food, drive your kids around to their errands, then visit you and try to cheer you up (thus appearing ISFJish in behavior at times). They may feel obligated to help anyone who needs them, and find it difficult to say no. They will want to spend time with you, lots of it - they show caring partly through quality time - and they want a reciprocally warm relationship. So they aren't going to seem distant, emotionally disconnected, or cold, nor will they come across as introverted as they really are. Because of Fe's drive towards harmony, an INFJ 2 is going to be more focused on the health/harmony of the relationship and, because of that, highly in tune with how they think others feel about them, more so than 2s already are...and therefore more troubled by lack of reciprocity or problems in the relationship. INFJ Type 3 The humanely-driven-for-success INFJ, for whom affirmation is bread and butter. I have rarely seen this combination on this forum, so this information is a synthesis of theoretical data. They would be driven both to be, and to appear to be, very good at whatever they do. Success and the esteem of others would translate to security for them, so whatever their role is, they would try to be the very best possible at that role. Therefore accolades would be welcome - since they would care what others thought of them - and they wouldn't be shy to have positive attention drawn to themselves. In interacting with them, you would find them extraordinarily charming and likeable and caring...while not overtly emotional (they would tend to suppress their emotions, although a 4 wing might change that). Within each setting, they would intuitively be able to determine what others were expecting of them, and what was deemed as success; and - unless those expectations or standards of success conflicted with their Fe values - would do their best to live up to that ideal, and be afraid to fail. Likely, they would feel an internal conflict between their independent thinking (Ni) and the thinking of society at large (what society considers "intellectual" or "acceptable patterns of thought"), and also struggle with society's definitions of success through stepping on others to get to the top since that violates their Fe. So they would be likely to be principled in that they would have a problem with achieving success at cost to others or in a way that would have to put others down in order to elevate themselves. INFJ Type 4 The artsy INFJ that typically has a penchant for eye contact, who can talk to you with their eyes, they are going to seem like they understand you, and you are likely to feel safe around them. They are going to have their soul wed to some form(s) of art (it could be painting, drawing, music, literature, dance, photography, acting, etc.), through which they express their wide range of emotions, because they are very emotional people. What 4s feel, they feel deeply, no matter what the emotion...and INFJs feel the feelings of those around them via Fe - so INFJ 4s are deeply empathetic. They are passionate, can fall into very dark moods, and can appear dramatic (although a 5 wing will temper somewhat how much of that shows) or, sometimes, focused on their own problems. When in the middle of a dark mood they may withdraw from everyone for periods of time, but an INFJ 4's Fe can drag them out of self-absorption if someone in emotional crisis needs their help. They're drawn to reach out to you during the darkest crisis points in your life and really be there for you - they know how to deal with the most severe of emotional states and are drawn towards the melancholy element of life. They will prize authenticity and being true to themselves, even if this means diverging from convention, so they often have a unique flair. Highly individualist, don't expect them to follow the crowd in how they present themselves. Creative by nature, they are typically not boring conversationalists....yet, at times, their topics may naturally veer towards and linger upon the poignant or tragic elements of life...or their own problems, for which they may expect your emotional support. INFJ Type 5 The INFJ who may wonder if they are actually INTP or INTJ, they will come across as thinkers and will have a lot of interesting insights. If you are fascinated by the theoretical, you will probably be able to talk with your INFJ 5 friend for hours about their thoughts about life ~ and will find that they have a voracious hunger for knowledge and a very analytical mind. They will be sensitive to your emotional states and care about them because of their Fe, while not coming across as emotional or invasive, and tending to be detached (although a 4 wing will temper that). 5s in general want to be independent, and don't deal well with clinginess or people who "invade" their space too far or violate their privacy, so they may not initiate contact or open up as often as some enneatypes. An INFJ 5's Fe will make them seem more extroverted than they really are. Fe concern about others will be expressed in ways native to the 5 interaction style, which is less self-revealing (unless in a place they feel safe) than that of some enneatypes. There is a subtlety and depth to them that is not always recognized by those who don't know them well. 5s with Fe can seem aloof even though they have very warm feelings inside, because of this...the better you get to know them, the more you realize how much rests below the surface. and even when they aren't with the people they care about, they think about their connections with them and feel closer to them. During solitude, they nourish their internal love towards others and sometimes become aware of feelings they weren't conscious of, before. if they become aware of feelings during your absence, they may spill them out suddenly when they are around you again...in a somewhat gushily affectionate way, at times. INFJ Type 6 The "unswervingly loyal friend" INFJ, this friend, once they trust and become devoted to you, can be counted on through thick and thin, no matter what. This is not to say that other types aren't loyal; loyalty definitely isn't limited to 6s; but 6s are notable for this. They are likely to be there for you, supporting you, and "fairweather" isn't in their vocabulary. An INFJ 6 is usually kind and likeable, empathetic, and very understanding in a down-to-earth, "make you feel comfortable" way. They may (depending on the direction their core fear takes) have a noticeable strength about them, a fortitude and courage that can persevere through difficulty or - despite profound fear - act heroically on behalf of those they care about. They very actively read others and try to sense where others stand in relation to one another and themself, and are very intuitive. 6s in general may doubt how others feel about them or whether others can be trusted. Cp6s in general feel a need to look strong or be proactively confrontational in order to protect themselves, but they are softer than they appear, and a cp6 INFJ is going to temper their tendencies with diplomacy, and use that ability to protect those they care about as well. INFJ Type 7 The "happy-go-lucky"-ish INFJ, since their 7 mimics Ne in certain respects, complete with the typical ENFP playfulness, there will sometimes be an ENFP-ish vibe. An INFJ with 7 influence in their tritype is likely to get asked "Are you happy all the time?" or "Are you ever not happy?" by those who do not know them well. While Fe can make any INFJ appear extroverted, it is especially pronounced in those with 7 in their type, because 7s tend to be outgoing, and find happiness in the company of others. INFJ 7s would most likely be typed by others as ENFJs or ENFPs, seeming energized by socializing while possessing the contrarily strong drive to get needed solitude. So one would expect an INFJ 7 to struggle with the introversion vs. extroversion dichotomy and find it difficult to land decisively on either side of the spectrum. Inhibitions may be lacking (but the restraining hand of Ni would hold the INFJ back often, by predicting potential negative consequences of giving in to impulse). Clinginess by others is quite disturbing to them, but their Fe is likely to make them feel an obligation to be kind anyway. Fascinated by a wide variety of things, they will attempt to stay a step ahead of what could make life miserable, or escape the inevitable struggles of life through indulgence in mood-elevating activities. This opens the door for entanglement in such activities, because of the addictive emotional high they provide. 7s with a 6 wing tend to joke around a lot, or enjoy making others laugh. 7s are drawn towards the positive side of life, so they try to cheer up others around them or repel negativity. An INFJ 7 would likely use humor to dispel a negative situation, or to restore harmony and positivity in conflict settings. INFJ Type 8 The passionate, straight-talking, natural-leader INFJ, they are intensity incarnate. There will be a palpable warmth about them (because of Fe), combined with strength - without their having to show off their strength, you will knowthey are a force to be reckoned with. INFJs in general are sensitive to and tend to be guided by their intuition, but an INFJ 8 will rely on their gut even more. They'll be able to suss you out quickly and know who you are and what you are capable of, and sense if you are being dishonest, more so than INFJs already do. Fe makes INFJs protective of those they care about, and a healthy 8 is driven to defend and protect anyone they care about - so the combination of the two is double-protectiveness. 8s in general are comfortable in the presence of conflict, while Fe favors harmony, so an INFJ 8 will have those two conflicting attitudes within, which will be evident in their behavior. 8s in general do not want to appear weak and have a need to protect themselves from those who might try to control them, and there are people in the world who deem certain tender displays of Fe as "weakness," so it's likely that an INFJ 8's Fe will look quite different on the outside from that of other enneatypes, although it will be experienced the same on the inside. They will really care about people, and they will feel things deeply, and a healthy 8 will use their dominance and position of power to benefit others. INFJ Type 9 The easygoing, empathetic INFJ with a calming presence, they are easy to talk to, easy to be around, diplomatic in how they interact with others. Their Fe is very evident, in a somewhat understated way. They will be there for you and listen empathetically and know how to comfort you. they want you to feel comfortable around them, and they strive for a harmonious environment, and know very well how to make both happen, often with remarkable skill and charm. They will dislike conflict more intensely than most enneatypes - if they have a 1 wing, they may be avoidant of it in general; and if they have an 8 wing, they may be reluctant to engage unless necessary or angry, but not afraid of it. 9s may intervene between those in conflict in order to re-establish peace. 9s in general seem passive and relaxed, although they have a strong, passionate will about whatever matters to them; you may not see their strong will unless you try to force them into something they don't want to do. Caveat 1: Take into account that an environment where anyone feels secure, or psychological growth, is going to bring out the traits of the enneatype in the direction of their "integration." Conversely, a stressed-out individual will appear like a not-so-healthy version of the enneatype in their direction of disintegration. While certain behaviors are typical of each type, behaviors themselves are not diagnostic of enneatype - motivations are - and various types can share the same behaviors while having very different motives for them. I am just pointing out what certain INFJ-enneatype combinations TEND to look like (there will be exceptions and the same type can look very different depending on their psychological state at any given point in time)...since some combinations tend to follow distinctive, recognizable patterns of behavior. Caveat 2: The descriptions I gave largely represent (psychologically) average to healthy versions of those enneatypes. While enneagram theory tends to focus on the negative traits, I was focusing more on the positive and the most obvious traits here. so these aren't intended to be complete delineations of the behavior of each type, just some traits that are easy to notice or recognize when interacting with these types.