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These are the best 24 dishes at The Cheesecake Factory

As one of the country's leading Cheesecake Factory experts, I know what it's like to navigate the restaurant's the extensive menu.

It's a challenge for the everyday consumer to choose the right dish among more than 250 menu items. Most Americans can't choose between the Factory's famed Four Cheese Pasta and Fettuccine Alfredo. Who's to blame them? I have dedicated my life to eating creamy poison from mall restaurants, I can't expect the average, healthy consumer to do the same.

If you're an anxious Cheesecake Factory customer, let me help you.

SEE ALSO: Mom's viral rant about cheesecakes is too relatable

Below are the top Cheesecake Factory items that should be on everyone's bucket list. This list is a result of years of culinary research and taste-testing. Please consider this entire ranking to be 100 percent  accurate and true.

Thank you for your support in advance.

24. Four Cheese Pasta

The Factory's Four Cheese Pasta greatest strength is also its greatest weakness: it has so many damn cheeses. Still, mozzarella, ricotta, parmesan, and Romano are classic middle American favorites, and this pasta is all the better for it. Celebrate!

23. Chocolate, Strawberry, and Vanilla Milkshake

The Cheesecake Factory doesn't get nearly enough attention for their milkshakes, and it's understandable. It's not like they're bursting with originality. But what they lack in creativity they more than make up for in robust flavor: imagine your favorite fat combined with your favorite sweet.

22. Cajun Jambalaya Pasta

Look! Real flavor at a mall restaurant!

Image: cheesecake factory

Cajun Jambalaya Pasta frequently tops the list of Cheesecake Factory favorites. Sure, it sounds like something you can get at Epcot, but it has flavor, which is more than you can say of any restaurant attached to a mall.

21. Chicken Pot Stickers

It's almost always a bad idea when an all-purpose chain restaurant tries to go "international." Once you accept, however, that these chicken pot stickers aren't even close to anything authentic, you begin to accept them for what they are — fatty pieces of goodness.

20 Buffalo Wings

Buffalo wings are one of those things chain restaurants almost always do better than upscale. It's a fact soon to be proven by science. Cheesecake Factory is particularly adept at the classic buffalo wing, providing a comfortable, suburban level of spice.

19. Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake

Brand excellence

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Reese's makes everything better including cheesecake. Peanut butter and cheese aren't a combo I'd try anytime, but if there's one chain I trust to execute it correctly, it's Cheesecake Factory. No chain is better at producing delightful low-brow creations with a mid-range level of skill.

18. Almond-crusted Salmon Salad

One of the healthier options on the Cheesecake Factory menu, and strangely not disgusting, is the salmon salad. Plus, you can't go wrong with anything crusted — period. I typically go for cheese-encrusted items, but for those of us who want to be healthy and still a little gross, this is your best shot.

17. Shepherd's Pie

I'm a vegepreferian, so it's been a long time since I've had meat. Still, I sometimes dream of meat pies at night, especially those crafted by the heroes of Cheesecake Factory. You also can't go wrong with a mashed potato parmesan cheese crust.

16. Chicken Parmesan 

Breaded chicken with cheese is an Italian-American gift to the world. I wish more contemporary restaurant didn't snub the dish. Thanks to Cheesecake Factory for standing up for what's right and fatty and including this on their menu.

15. Fish Tacos

Beer-battered fish and avocado is always the correct choice. I wish Cheesecake Factory accepted their middle American roots and embraced the hard shell. Still, there's a lot of stigma against hard shells, and I'm not going to judge the chain for being unprepared to embrace them.

14. Chicken Bellaggio

The Chicken Bellagio is one of the more popular Cheesecake Factory dishes, and it's easy to see why. It combines chicken, slathered in a parmesan cream sauce, with prosciutto and a bunch of boring greens not worth mentioning. Hell, they should probably call rename this place the Chicken Factory. 

13.  Mashed Potatoes

Not everyone can do mashed potatoes, even though everyone thinks they can. The Cheesecake Factory gets all of the points for their mashed potato side. It's creamy and rich and wildly buttery, which is all it takes to rise to mashed potato excellence.

12. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake

Cookie dough belongs everywhere, and especially in my mouth. Kudos to Cheesecake Factory for picking up on this '00s fad and making it last. The Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is an underrated dessert speciality.

11. Chris' Outrageous Cheesecake

Whoever this dude Chris is, I need to meet him.

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Chris' Outrageous Cheesecake has everything that makes a cheesecake great: coconut, chocolate brownie, moist chocolate cake, and cheesecake. I really hope you open your heart to this cheesecake. Just because it's not one of the most popular cheesecakes on the menu doesn't mean it doesn't have worth.

10. Eggplant Parmesan

I applaud the Cheesecake Factory for making a chain restaurant vegetarian dish that doesn't make me want to vom. The Factory's parm is way less rubbery than most restaurant-made eggplant parms. And while it lacks the glitz and glamor of the chicken parm, it makes up for it in healthfulness (sort of) and style.

9. Chicken Taquitos

I'm not fully sure what this is, but I love it

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These taquitos are adorable. And sure, they don't resemble anything on a traditional Mexican menu. But that's not why I eat the taquitos — I eat them because they're zesty and crunchy and don't crumble all over my clothes.

8. Crispy Fried Cheese

I feel awkward about putting the fried cheese this far up on the ranking, because fried cheese is always good. Nonetheless, I praise any restaurant that puts Crispy Fried Cheese on the menu and doesn't hide it. Cheesecake Factory, I applaud you for your bravery.

7. Black-Out Cake

It's a cake with multiple layers of chocolate and fudge. It doesn't skimp, it's not thinly sliced, and it doesn't pretend to be anything than its raw disgusting self. We need more cakes like these out there.

6. Dulce de Leche Caramel Cheesecake

Sugar on fat on sugar on fat

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This cheesecake is heavy on the caramel, so it's not for everyone. Still, the Dulce de Leche is a beautiful option who anyone who's unsatisfied with the frightening level of sugar already present in cheesecake and needs more.

5. Lemon Raspberry Cream Cheesecake

It's always depressing when people recommend raspberries as a solo dessert option. However, raspberries do wonders when it comes to cheesecake. I'm so glad the Factory found a way to be inclusive. 

4. Buffalo Blasts

Fried on fried

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It's chicken and cheese in a spicy wrapper.  Wraps mostly terrify me but this one is so foul, it's wonderful. I highly recommend the Buffalo Blast for the foodies bored of the wing.

3. Warm crab and artichoke dip

This is a people's favorite. I've never been a huge fan of crab myself, but I applaud anything drowned in a bucket of cream. Bonus: It likely contains all of your calories for the day. No need to eat anything else!

2. Pumpkin Cheesecake

The pumpkin cheesecake is perfect for the basic bitch, pumpkin-spice-latte-lover in all of us. It's got just enough bite to keep me interested, and buckets of sugar to keep me awake all night.

1. Hot Spinach and Cheese Dip

Cheesy greatness

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I'm going to take a lot of heat for listing such a traditional, unoriginal favorite first. So be it. Sometimes, you've just got to stand up for what you believe in. I commend the factory for making such a  superior appetizer. As anyone in the foodie community knows, appetizers, not entrees, are where it's at.

Run along, my dear Cheesecake Factory fans, and try everything on this listicle. You (excluding your arteries) won't regret it.

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