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'Dungeons & Dragons' isn't just for the 'Stranger Things' kids — it's for you, too

This is a story about a dwarf barbarian with a beard to die for. Literally, he’s killed people over it. His name is Thorbjork and he is my Dungeons and Dragons character who almost never existed.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game Dungeons and Dragons, (D&D for short) allow me to elucidate. It is what is called a tabletop role-playing game. Basically you and your friends sit around telling a story where you each play as a character, except for the almighty Dungeon Master, who acts as the narrator of the story, describing the people you meet and the places you go. You tell the  Dungeon Master (DM) what you want to do, and then use dice throws to determine whether those actions are successful.

If you think this sounds a bit intense, don't worry — so did I. I'd been curious about playing for ages, but it wasn't until last year that I plucked up the nerve to actually do it. So what changed? How did I penetrate this upper echelon of geekdom?

Well, I did, I survived, and I'm here to tell you that you should try it too. Because once you've gotten past the stereotyped image D&D has garnered, there's a whole world of fun to be had.

The D&Dnaissance

Dungeons and Dragons was long resigned to the attic (or more likely the cellar) of too-nerdy-even-for-most-nerds. At worst D&D has been considered actual witchcraft (people really believed it may turn kids into satanists) and at best it has evoked images of players like the Comic Book Shop Guy — a snobby unapproachable nerd.

But Dungeons and Dragons is on the rise once again thanks to pop culture.

Shows like Stranger Things re-introduced the mainstream to Dungeons and Dragons in the form of adorkable children who apply their D&D knowledge to take down inter-dimensional horrors.

But for me, Stranger Things wasn't my portal into the D&D world. That honour goes to Dan Harmon.

Born of my love for Rick and Morty (of which Harmon is co-creator) I started watching Harmonquest. In it Harmon and his celebrity improv buddies are taken on a partially animated (and often deeply troubling) comedy adventure by game master Spencer Crittenden. 

For those of you who are yet to experience the glory that is Harmonquest, I strongly recommend you go watch it immediately if not sooner.

Getting over my 'D&D' hang-ups

A few things had held me back from trying D&D in the past. First, when I was 16 I discovered from my then-boyfriend that he and a few of our friends were playing D&D and I was keen to join in. Unfortunately we broke up before I got a chance to join their game.

More generally though I was nervous about my mental maths. I knew that some rudimentary adding and multiplying would be involved, and I was very self-conscious about my mathematical abilities, especially with people there to witness me struggling to do simple sums in my head. Conscious of the perceived flightiness of the "gamer girl" — an image of a girl who pretends to be into gaming just to get the attention of guys, and which I now realise is sexist nonsense —  I was anxious about getting in over my head and disappointing any fellow D&Ders.

These fears seem so silly now, but at the time they loomed large enough for me to write off D&D as simply too much for me. Watching Harmonquest remedied that fear — I thought look at these people, they're having so much fun, why shouldn't I?

HarmonQuest Tip: Never start a bit with Dwarf Ghosts. https://t.co/9HpWkT93Yy pic.twitter.com/XrwhuSdHWA

— HarmonQuest (@HarmonQuest) May 19, 2017

About a year ago I returned to university for my final year following a year abroad. It was a tricky transition, but luckily I still had a solid base of friends to help me through it. Then a few of them mentioned that they'd been playing D&D the previous year. Opportunity knocked.

Two of my more experienced mates set up a game for myself and two other novices who had been invited into the fold. 

But before we could start, we had to make our characters. 

Character creation

Under the guidance of my friends I started to craft the character I would inhabit within the game world. Slowly, like a lump of clay being moulded into a passable ash-tray, Thorbjork emerged.

Thorbjork is a dwarf barbarian. Standing proud at four feet tall, he wields a mighty battleaxe and is immensely strong for his size, especially when flies into a barbarian rage. Sadly he is rather lacking in social skills, as he is chronically uncharismatic. His crowning glory however is his beard —  a flowing waterfall of silky blonde hair that is the envy of all who gaze upon it.

BEHOLD!

Image: Vicky Leta/mashable

I Facebooked my brother later that night to tell him about my creation. "You should get a beard," he said. Haha, what a funny notion! An actual beard, fancy that. And look, it's only £10 on Amazon, how funny would it be if I bought it, just for a joke. Oh man what a funny and ridiculous notion...

The beard arrived the next day, and by some fluke it matched my hair colour perfectly. I slipped the strap over my head and looked in the mirror. "Good lord," I thought to myself "I look awesome."

This is the selfie I sent out the night I first donned the beard.

Image: isobel hamilton/mashable

Time for gameplay

Now it was time for Thorbjork to sally forth along with two other D&D virgins. Our more experienced friends had to give us some coaching, and it took us a little while to get the hang of the rules, but soon we were slaying orcs and giant spiders like nobody's business. And of course, we always made sure to bring plenty of snacks for the journey.

Thorbjork turned out not to be your typical fantasy hero; he had a tendency for violent outbursts, an obsession with collecting axes, and his go-to defence mechanism whenever he felt socially awkward was to do lunges.

If this all sounds dumb, it's because it is. The point of our D&D sessions wasn't to slay monsters or be heroes, it was to have a good time. I am supremely happy that I got over my hang-ups and just threw myself into the game. Apart from it just being fun, D&D afforded me a useful valve for my frustration and worries at a particularly stressful time. I could put reality on hold for a few hours and just have fun with my friends (not to mention Thorbjork the Uncharismatic).

Thorbjork contemplating his next move.

Image: beth jones

The beauty of the game is that it revolves around something we humans seem to naturally love doing — storytelling. Stories give us a playground, a laboratory in which to play with life and narrative. 

Now you try it

I would encourage anyone even remotely curious about D&D to go out and give it a go. Don't be daunted by the rules, or the dice, or the fear of some faceless nerd laughing cruelly at your ignorance. Everything you need to get started is here, and there's no end to online communities and boards that can help advise you in your questing. If there's a bunch of you even better, you can muddle your way through it until you become true D&D masters. Don't worry about getting it wrong, there aren't any D&D police that'll come and bust down your door. Not yet anyway.

If elves and goblins aren't your kind of thing then never fear, there are also similar games like Savage Worlds that give you different settings, like the Wild West or Pirates. Here's a fun webcomic that explains how one group created their own story. 

The moral of the story is, don't let self-doubt get in the way of what could be a really fun experience. Also my beard is the best, all hail the beard in its voluminous glory.

Thorbjork forever.

Image: Seana Moon-white

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