#Zoey Wrestles With Writing

[momochizoey]

January 3rd

-Crack!-

“Adora!”

Catra dashed across the soccer field as the referee blew their whistle, coming to a stop in front of her balled up girlfriend.

She looked her over and grimaced. Adora’s right ankle was bent unnaturally, broken from the force with which she slammed into the goalposts. That was gonna be a hospital visit for sure, and knowing Adora she would be stressing about how the recovery was going to impact her study schedule within the hour.

She murmured reassurances as she cradled her head, until the medics rushed in to move her to the stretcher, at which point she squeezed Adora’s hand and reluctantly let go, racing towards the changing rooms.

She quickly grabbed Adora’s Greyskull bag, checking if it had everything, or if she’d have to drop by their apartment later.

‘Clothes, check, estradiol, check, planner, check, Gideon the Ninth to distract herself, check. Alright, go-time.’

Slamming the door behind her and scattering two of their concerned teammates, she jumped into the back of the ambulance just before the doors closed.

Before one of the medics could argue, Adora latched onto her hand with a vice-grip.

“Please don’t leave again,” she pleaded.

“Never.”

[momochizoey]

The barn is old. 50 years, at least, but probably older for all anyone still knew. Every plank had been replaced at least once, giving the barn a mottled pattern of wood that ranged from an old, faded grey, to a vibrant brown that had still been a tree last autumn. A windowsill in the loft was set to be replaced when the apple tree in the field started blossoming, its wood damaged by rot after the heavy rainfall last year.

The barn is quiet. The animals had been let out in the morning, most of them now out in the field enjoying the summer breeze. The few animals remaining inside were asleep, cooling off in the shade.

The barn is dirty. A few pigs had been lucky: a flock of crows had come by three nights ago, knocking a few premature apples into the mud below, and they'd wasted no time the next morning helping themselves to the treats they found. Faces smeared with more mud than usual, they'd made a right mess for someone to clean up once they went back inside. You could hardly blame them: why not enjoy the little things while you can?

The barn is old.

A famous prompt: Describe a barn as seen by a man whose son has just been killed in a war. Do not mention the son, or war, or death. Do not mention the man who does the seeing.

[bloodlinemadness]

In The Shadows

Gif Credit: @vanityangel

A/N: As I mentioned on Wattpad, I did plan on moving 'In The Shadows' onto here. So here it is! We definitely need more Tonga Loa fics on here, I mean look at him 🔥 Bless the people who do write about him though! I enjoy reading your work so much!

If you want to be added to the tag list for the next chapter let me know.

Pairings: Tonga Loa x Fem! Reader

Characters: Tonga Loa, Bianca Belair, B-Fab, Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga, Jacob Fatu, Street Profits, mentions of Naomi, Jade Cargill, Damian Priest, Rhea Ripley, OG Bloodline & more.

Summary: Y/N L/N is on the road to become a top star in WWE. However, when her & a certain infamous Bloodline member catch feelings for each other along the way, how far are they willing to go to keep their relationship a secret?

WARNINGS ⚠️: 18+ for later on, swearing, bullying, angst, arguing, Bloodline 2.0 (minus Loa) being mean ass bullies, especially Tama 😭 Bianca's also like an overprotective sister in the fic, I hope y'all don't mind. Not Proofread.

Of course this is written for fictional purposes only & is based on their characters, it does not depict who they are in real life. Respect to them & their families.

Toko- Bro/Sibling in Tongan.

Word Count: 1.9k

Hope you like it 💫

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Money In The Bank is right around the corner. Of course it was a huge deal to you, because it's happening in your city. Also, being a top star in NXT & making it to the main roster with your friends Bianca Belair, Damian Priest & Rhea Ripley, you wanted to make it big on the main roster & have your moment.

Tonight was a big night for you as you had your Women's Money In The Bank qualifying match against Zelina Vega & Iyo Sky. Just like you, both ladies were hella talented & amazing. But, you didn't want to doubt yourself. You still fought hard & ended up qualifying for the Women's MITB Ladder match & couldn't be any happier. Both ladies congratulated you backstage, you thanked them and praised how amazing they were in the ring. You freshened up after the match, got dressed up and went to catering to have a post-match meal.

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Walking in, you saw your bestie Bianca with the Street Profits & B-Fab sitting at one of the tables. The EST saw you & cheered "There she is!! Our Future Miss Money In The Bank!" causing the Street Profits & B-Fab to cheer as well, making everyone turn their heads. You loved her, but hated the attention from others the cheering caused. You went over to their table & sat down.

"Thanks y'all, but I wouldn't be too sure. The line up looks pretty good & any of these ladies could win. I mean, Chelsea Green, Zoey Stark, Tiffany Stratton, Naomi & Lyra. I'm nothing in front of them." Causing Bianca to roll her eyes "girl, are you doubting yourself again? Uh uh, you got this! We literally grew up together & you're a bad bitch in that ring! I know you." "You're gonna kick ass out there! It's your time to shine!" said Montez giving you a first bump. "Uh oh" said Dawkins looking towards the entrance. "What's up?" asked Tez. B-Fab followed Angelo's gaze & her eyes widened. "Alright, y'all are acting like you saw a ghost, let me see-oh shit! Here comes trouble" he said mirroring the same reaction as B-Fab.

You & Bianca turned around & saw the group of men walking in, wearing all black. Yup, it was them The Bloodline. Although, this one seemed more intimidating, no Roman, no Usos, and sadly poor Paul got triple power bombed by the group at the end of the show. This version was serious, now Solo Sikoa was taking over as the leader, calling himself 'The Tribal Chief .' He had his cousin Jacob Fatu whom he recruited last week from the Indies & the two Tongans from New Japan Pro-Wrestling, Tama Tonga & Tonga Loa.

Yup, they were a dangerous bunch. You were a bit terrified by them, especially seeing them jump the roster after Roman & Jimmy left. You even got along with the original members of The Bloodline & had get togethers with them since Naomi is also like a sister to you. You spoke to Solo once in awhile too, but that changed after Roman left & he stopped talking to you. Somehow there was a certain member of the group whom you couldn't keep your eyes off of, Tonga Loa.

Something about him was different to you. You've watched a few matches of him during his run in New Japan; he seemed to have a different aura & wasn't all over the place like his brother & the other Bloodline members. You've seen his Instagram as well, he was always smiling so bright & posting up with his dog, nephews, nieces, friends, family & even Krispy Kreme. You felt like he had a bright personality under that mysterious one. You were getting lost looking at him while he was grabbing food & chatting with Solo at the Buffet, until a body stepped in front of the pair & snapped its fingers at you.

Your gaze broke off & you looked up to see his older brother Tama giving you a stern look, cocking his eyebrow at you. He wasn't impressed. "Whatchu looking at little girl?" Loa & Solo stopped talking & turned their attention to you. Your face burned up & you felt embarrassed that he called you out like that. The room went quiet. Bianca scooted her chair closer to you in case you needed backup, you were a sister to her & she knew their game, they've messed with her husband & his friends & she wasn't gonna let them mess with you.

You felt the tension in the room rise & finally replied "nothing...I was just looking at the food being served today. I haven't eaten yet so I was curious-" "Bullshit!" He cut you off, "I know you weren't looking at the food, you were looking at my little toko, what's your deal huh? Hasn't anyone told you, it's not polite to stare? What do you want from him?" "Tama, shut up!" yelled Bianca "leave my sis alone! She ain't done nothing wrong. She was just minding her own business until you came yapping along. Not everything is about y'all" Tama widened his eyes at her. "Toko...it's okay! Take it easy!" said Loa while putting a hand on Tama's shoulder.

Montez stood up in front of him "Boy, what the f-ck is your problem? She can look wherever she wants, it's a free country. What are you gonna do? Fine her? The girl just wanted some dang food & y'all are in her way." That's when Solo stepped in; you knew it was about to go down, he spoke "Oh, so it's our fault now?! Why doesn't she be woman & come & get it herself?" Angelo stood up "Aye! The woman can also make decisions for herself too & the last person she needs advice is from someone who dresses up like The Weeknd every week." Everyone bursted out laughing. Solo looked embarrassed.

You swore you saw Loa trying not to laugh, and quickly looked away. That's when Jacob came in & stepped in front of Angelo in Solo's defense, "Oh, so you think you're funny big guy? How about we settle this?" "I'd love to see you try." he challenged. You realized this isn't gonna end well, you didn't want to see Angelo getting hurt because of you. You quickly stepped in between Angelo & Jacob "please, don't fight. If you want to, do it in the ring or something next week, but not here. Tonga Loa, I'm so sorry if it looked like I was staring, I wasn't. I should've gotten my food as soon as I got here. I'm sorry it looked that way," you pleaded.

He gave you a look which looked sorry, was he feeling sympathetic towards you? " You have nothing to apologize for Y/N" he said. " WHAT?! Are you feeling sorry for her?!" questioned Tama. "It's okay bro, just leave it. She just wanted food. You're making something out of nothing. We don't need to get banned from catering again. Let's just go & eat, I'm hungry." said Loa, leading his brother away from the scene & towards a table on the far end. Solo gave everyone a warning glare & followed the brothers. Jacob gave Angelo one last look "see you in the ring next week." he said before walking away with his group.

Angelo smirked at him. "Oh my God Angelo, are you okay? I'm so sorry y'all. It's all my fault!" you cried. Angelo hugged you "sis, it's okay. We'll be okay. We're a family remember? Tama's the one who caused this shit & me & Tez wanna teach him another lesson, this one's for messing with you. We'll be okay. Just keep your distance from them, okay?" He assured as he rubbed your back. You nodded, you were so worried about him & Montez. "Will y'all be okay?" asked Bianca hugging her husband. "We'll be good, they need their asses kicked good. We'll have back up too. KO is here so we'll be even" said Montez earnings smiles from you & his wife.

"Y/N, you didn't eat anything" said B-Fab. "You know what? I'll grab Sushi on the way back. I'm not that hungry. Plus, I don't want to eat here. The energy is pretty off " you answered. "True, let me & Binky take you to that sushi bar around the corner. Get all the Cali rolls to celebrate the big win tonight, my treat. Go pack your things & we'll meet you at the car." said Tez. "I still think you should grab a snack, something to occupy your stomach on the way there, cause your qualifying match was brutal. You must be starving" said Bianca.

Bianca & Montez are like the big brother & sister you never had, they cared about you so much just as much as you did for them, you were grateful for them. You nodded & thanked them & went towards the buffet table, grabbed a paper plate & placed some spring rolls. B-Fab came up to you putting both of her hands on the sides of your arms, holding in you place. She glanced behind you, and quickly looked back at you & whispered "Girl, I know you're pissed off at them cause of what they did, but Loa won't stop looking at you ever since you got up from our table." Your eyes widened, you gotta admit you liked him even more after he calmed his Gremlin brother down when he went berserk on you for no reason. "B, I gotta tell you something, but not here." you said. You looked over towards Bianca & The Street Profits who were talking to Jade Cargill. You snuck a look towards the Bloodline's table to see Loa quickly turning his head away from looking at you & to his family who were too occupied in the conversation & their food to notice him looking anymore.

You grabbed her hand and lead her to your locker room. You shut the door, "Okay, I don't know how to tell you this, but I really like him. I just don't know if he feels the same. But, you caught him looking at me." B-Fab, raised her brows in response "I had a feeling you did girl, you were staring at him in catering weren't you?" She teased, you blushed in response & nodded. "But what will Bianca & Tez say? They can't stand The Bloodline & The Bloodline can't stand us either. Plus, the way Tama was being a dick to you for just looking at him? They're dangerous." she said. "I know." you frowned "that's the sad part, his family seems to hate me. Solo & I were chill too until Roman left. I guess it's whatever. He'll probably find someone else who's better. Someone that they'll all accept & like & get her to manage The Bloodline." you sighed.

She placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, "don't feel that way, you're gorgeous girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you. It's just a matter of time, maybe they'll turn babyface a year later? Then we can forget about it all." she laughed. "Yeah, in 50 years." you joked "you're gorgeous too by the way." she smiled "thanks, you eat your snacks, get packing & we'll meet you at the parking lot." she hugged you & left.

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You finished your spring rolls & took a while to pack, you were the type of person who would bring everything with you not to only help yourself, but others so you didn't want to lose anything. You finally packed up your things & hurried out to leave the arena, you didn't want Bianca & Tez to wait any longer, note to self you need to treat them for putting up with you. The arena was mostly empty by now as the show ended,it was mostly just the backstage crew & tech packing up. You were nearing the exit when you heard a familiar voice call out your name. You froze, could it be him?

TBC...💫

A/N: This was the first fic so I may not be the best at this in the first few chapters (please bear with me lol), it may be a bit slow, but I'd really appreciate feedback on this to improve, and please be kind & respectful about it. I won't tolerate any disrespect. Any of that gets blocked. Thanks for reading!

[wishyouloveme]

Who I write for

Hey babies I'm back to writing!!

Fandoms I write for: Twilight, WWE, Shameless, Outer Banks Bridgerton, Good Girls, The walking dead, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Fast and Furious, Heartstopper, Hamilton, Criminal minds, 13 Reasons why, You tube, Twitch, Haunting & hunting Adeline.

Twilight:

Vampires:

Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen, Rosalie Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Alice Cullen.

Wolves:

Jacob Black, Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, Embry Call, Seth Clearwater.

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE):

Mens Wrestlers: Andrade, Angel Garza, Cody Rhodes, Damian Priest, Jacob Fatu, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Logan Paul, Ludwig Kaiser, Omos, Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, Santos Escobar, Solo Sikoa, Cruz Del Toro, Brock Lesnar. Woman wrestlers: Alba Fyre, Alexa Bliss, Carmella, Charlotte Flair, Cora Jade, Liv Morgan, Rhea Ripley, Scarlett, Tiffany Stratton, Zelina Vega, Zoey Stark, Isla Dawn.

Shameless:

Ian Gallagher, Lip Gallagher, Carl Gallagher, Mickey Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich, Kevin Ball.

Outer Banks:

Pogues:

JJ Maybank, John B Routledge, Pope Heyward, Sarah Cameron, Barry.

Kooks: Rafe Cameron, Topper Thorton, Mike Carerra, Kelce.

Bridgerton:

Males: Colin Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Benedict Bridgerton.

Good Girls: quite literally only Rio

The walking dead: Quite literally only Daryl lol

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Crowley, Castiel.

The Vampire Diaries: Vampires: Stefan Salvatore, Damon Salvatore Original Vampires: Niklaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson. Werewolves: Tyler Lockwood, Mason Lockwood.

Fast and Furious Movies:

Domonic Toretto, Brian O'connor

Heartstopper:

Nick Nelson

Hamilton:

Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton.

Criminal Minds:

Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan.

13 reasons why:

Justin Foley, Zach Dempsey, Montgomery de la Cruz, Tony Padilla

Youtube:

Markiplier Visual Venture, Eddie VR, Sturniolo Triplets, Sam and Colby, Jake Webber, Corey Scherer.

Twitch:

George Not Found, Dream, Karl Jacobs, SapNap, Grizzy, Big Puffer, Droid, Pezzy, Smii7y. No Picture Haunting Adeline: Zade Meadows, Rio. I will not write smut for gay characters, in any way. Do not ask.

I will not write smut about people I do not find Physically attractive, and I have a right to deny any requests!

[riptideripley]

As posted on my master list,my requests are now open for requests😇!

↓ People I write for/about ↓

Non Wrestling:

Vi(Arcane)

Abby(TLOU)

Ellie(TLOU)

Valeria Garza

Julien Baker

Billie Ellish

Wrestling:

Rhea Ripley

Roman Reigns

Damian Priest

Cody Rhodes

Jey Uso

Jimmy Uso

Zoey Stark

Charlotte Flair

Dominik Mysterio

Finn Balor

[ruindunburnit]

I'm not sure if it's just something I misremember from my time reading House of Night, but looking back, didn't it feel like the moment the authors decided Neferet was going to be the villain, it was just a foregone conclusion? There was no real build-up or wrestling with the situation, especially in the context of how (apparently and given what the Casts have told us) a high priestess is supposed to be a religious leader, head teacher, governor and mother, all rolled into one person, and as such is supposed to have the highest social standing one can have without also being a head of state?

I supposed it partly has something to do with how the teenage drama often warranted more importance in the narrative than whatever Neferet was up to, and also how Neferet was frequently committing the same kind of immoral and criminal acts as Zoey was - just without the authors' carte blanche.

Part of why I write my fanfic for this fandom is very much to not only address the double standard above, but also reckon with the very magnitude of Neferet's villainy and give it the attention and gravity it deserves. I hope I'm doing at least that much!

[claudiajcregg]

Hoo boy, I'm behind on tagged stuff. (After this, I owe the last line I've written, the 8 tv shows, and who knows what else!) But this one was rather easy, even if formatting took me longer than I thought.

Tagged by the incredibly talented @onekisstotakewithme, whose stuff you should absolutely read because she's so good. (And prolific, too!) Thank you, Ally <3

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

I have eleven (for now? hopefully?) and I'll put them under a cut because this might get long for my mobile peeps. (I'm not the best at first lines. Or all that follow. I noticed a pattern, lol.)

Tagging anyone who wants to do it, of course! Feel free to ignore it if you don't want to do it, or if you've been already been tagged, etc. I probably missed some posts here and there. ♥️ @miabicicletta, @ballroompink, @holy-ships-x-red-lips, @district447, @eyes-onthehorizon

From most recent to oldest. They are all for The West Wing. Will I come out of this hating my writing even more? We'll see!

still you never took your hand from mine

The idea of writing a book by herself had always felt like this thing she wasn’t sure she wanted to do, at least not at that point in her life. 

The (in)famous memoir fic. CJ starts writing a memoir while pregnant with her first child.

haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames

Filomena Ristorante was an enchanting establishment she hadn’t heard of until earlier this afternoon. 

Set during CJ and Danny's business dinner in S1. It's two chapters long!)

just your smile lit a 60-watt bulb in my house that was darkened for days

When the President summoned her to the Oval Office on Tuesday, the last thing C.J. was expecting was for him to invite her to their Thanksgiving festivities up in the Residence — that was, if she didn’t have plans already.

Thanksgiving 2006 in the Residence, with a dash of thanks and trivia. CJ/Danny, with Jed/Abbey, Josh/Donna, Charlie/Zoey

don't want you to go but I'll be okay

The flight back to Andrews Air Force Base had been pushed back until the morning for various reasons; not least of which had been avoiding a repeat of everyone’s protests on the way to Portland due to the late departure time.

C.J. finds some unexpected closure when she goes out for dinner during the Portland trip. (Yes, I'm copying some of the summary for some of these, lol.)

I'll be your friend in the daylight again

If C.J. was asked to name whatever meetings she had been a part of this week, she would fail.

C.J. and her complicated feelings about her NSC card resurface once Josh gets his during the Santos administration. (No, but I'm actually surprised by how accurate and succinct some of these summaries are.)

catch my pieces as they fall apart

His beautiful wife was sad and exhausted and likely sick, and Danny didn’t know how to take her pain away.

After her father passes away, C.J. grapples with grief and what her future might hold.

say it's here where our pieces fall in place

The sun over the plains was unforgiving on this late winter day.

A series of glimpses into C.J. and Danny’s lives, together and apart, from 1998 to 2008. It's 11 chapters!

we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

The second the call with Hogan disconnected, she stopped walking around the secluded garden area and was hit with a cold breeze she wasn’t prepared for.

St. Augustine, FL; spring of 1998. C.J. wrestles with her burgeoning feelings for Danny when she runs into him outside a campaign event.

maybe everything's turning out how it should be

This wasn’t the same without Leo.

As a way to honor his late mentor, Josh brings back Leo’s Big Block of Cheese tradition during the Santos Administration. Unbeknownst to him, he ends up having a special crackpot meeting of his own. (This has implied CJ/Danny and Josh/Donna.)

all's well that ends well to end up with you

The sun was setting over the small mountain range in the distance, coloring the sky with a pink-orange hue that was breathtaking. 

C.J. and Danny find a moment of quiet in a hectic day and reflect about how they got to where they are. Their wedding. It's set after their wedding.

... and +1, because I felt bad leaving it behind

maybe we'll sleep here covered in star shine

At four in the morning, the sky was beautifully dark with just the slightest hint of the day that would soon start on the horizon. 

On a sleepless night, C.J. finds herself staring at the stars and reminiscing about her childhood.

[celestial-thoughts]

august 21, 2023 - weekly women’s pro wrestling news roundup: week of august 14-20, 2023

this week's news roundup includes:

News & results from last week’s editions of Monday Night Raw, NXT, and Friday Night SmackDown.

News & results from last week's editions of WWE Main Event and NXT Level Up.

News & results from last week’s editions of AEW Dynamite, AEW Rampage, and AEW Collision.

Other updates and news from last week.

Things to look forward to in women’s wrestling this week!

spoilers below the cut for shows/events listed above!

Notable news & results from TV last week:

Monday Night Raw (8/14):

Backstage, Adam Pearce spoke to WWE Women's Tag Team Champion Chelsea Green about the future of the titles now that Chelsea is without a partner as Sonya Deville has a torn ACL. Kayden Carter and Katana Chance interrupted, saying that they wanted a shot at the titles once Chelsea found a partner. Kayden and Katana were then attacked from behind by Piper Niven who declared that she would be Chelsea's new partner and took one of the title belts from her.

Women's World Champion Rhea Ripley defeated Indi Hartwell. After the match, Candice LeRae and Indi attacked Rhea before escaping up the ramp. match length-3:05.

Becky Lynch vs. Trish Stratus ended in a double count-out. The match ended after Becky and Trish began to brawl in the crowd. They continued to fight up the stairs and into the concourse. As they reached the merch stand, Zoey Stark appeared and helped Trish to lay out Becky. match length-11:30.

Backstage after the match, Adam Pearce confronted Trish and Zoey. He said that Trish would have another match against Becky, and that this time it would be in a steel cage.

NXT (8/15):

Blair Davenport defeated Dana Brooke. match length-3:39.

In a backstage segment, Women's World Champion Rhea Ripley & NXT North American Champion Dominik Mysterio called out Lyra Valkyria & Dragon Lee, issuing a challenge for a mixed tag team match next week at NXT Heatwave. Later in the show, Lyra and Dragon Lee accepted the challenge.

Jacy Jayne defeated Thea Hail. match length-8:11.

A video package of NXT Women's Champion Tiffany Stratton was shown. Stratton promised that she would be on NXT Heatwave next week.

AEW Dynamite (8/16):

Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. defeated The Bunny to qualify for the AEW Women's World Championship four way match at AEW All In. Britt claimed the final spot in the championship match in London, where she, Saraya, and Toni Storm will all be challenging Hikaru Shida for the gold. match length-7:31.

WWE Main Event (8/17):

Natalya defeated Tegan Nox. match length-5:43.

Friday Night SmackDown (8/18):

Bianca Belair & Charlotte Flair defeated Damage CTRL (WWE Women's Champion Iyo Sky & Bayley). Bianca pinned Bayley to score the win. match length-13:50.

Bianca was in the middle of being interviewed backstage, when she was attacked by Damage CTRL's Bayley, Dakota Kai, and Iyo Sky.

NXT Level Up (8/18):

Jacy Jayne defeated Karmen Petrovic. match length-5:10.

Dani Palmer defeated Brooklyn Barlow. match length-4:56.

AEW Rampage (8/18):

AEW Women's World Champion Hikaru Shida & Skye Blue defeated The Outcasts (Toni Storm & Ruby Soho). After the match, Toni and Ruby attacked Shida and Skye. Saraya also attacked the champion and her tag partner, before Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. ran down the ramp to make the save. All six women brawled to end the show. match length-10:08.

AEW Collision (8/19):

Willow Nightingale defeated Diamante. match length-11:02.

Other news & updates from last week:

On Wednesday morning, Wrestling Observer Newsletter reported that Lacey Evans has officially left WWE. This follows Lacey removing "WWE" from her social media handles, as well as indicating in her Instagram bio that she is no longer with the company. As of writing this, there has been no statement from WWE regarding Lacey's release, but she has been moved to the alumni section of the WWE website. According to a report from Fightful Select on Tuesday night, Lacey had indicated that her deal was set to expire at midnight.

Dakota Kai confirmed during a Twitch stream that she still has a ways to go before she is cleared to return to in-ring action. Specifically, she said that she is just under six months away from being cleared.

Speaking of Dakota Kai, she and Zelina Vega announced that they are starting a podcast together. Subscribe on YouTube here.

Things to look forward to this week:

This Tuesday on NXT Heatwave, Ava (fka Ava Raine, daughter of The Rock) will compete in her first singles match, against Ivy Nile.

This Sunday, August 27 live on pay-per-view, AEW All In takes place in London, England. Zero Hour starts at 12 pm ET, and the PPV begins at 1 pm ET. AEW Women's World Champion Hikaru Shida defends her title in a four way match against Toni Storm, Saraya, and Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.

Current Women's Champions in WWE & AEW:

WWE: - Women's World Championship: Rhea Ripley - WWE Women's Championship: Iyo Sky - NXT Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton - WWE Women's Tag Team Championship: Chelsea Green & Piper Niven

AEW: - AEW Women's World Championship: Hikaru Shida - TBS Championship: Kris Statlander

[wrestlinghistorywithkay]

The Scottish Invasion: How Scottish Wrestlers Took Over The WWE Part 3

I am back with Part 3 of my series about Scottish Wrestlers in WWE. If you have not read Parts 1 and 2 , please check those out! In this article , I am going to focus on the third Member of NXT’s Gallus and The Unholy Union.

Wolfgang

Wolfgang was born Barry Young on December 3,1986 in Glasgow, Scotland. He made his professional wrestling debut in 2003 and his WWE debut as a part of the NXT UK brand in 2016. Wolfgang is a one time BCW Heavyweight Champion , five time Tag Team Champion, and a two time Openweight Champion for the promotion. He is also a one time ICW World Heavyweight Champion and a one time Zero-G Champion. He is also a two time PBW Heavyweight Champion and a one time PBW Tag Team Champion. He is a one SPW British Heavyweight Champion. In his WWE Career, he has won the NXT and NXT UK Tag Team Championships alongside his younger brother , Mark. Wolfgang is also a member of the Scottish Wrestling Network Hall of Famer ( Class of 2017). He is also a member of Gallus alongside Mark and Joe Coffey.

Alba Fyre/Kay Lee Ray

Alba Fyre was born Kayleigh Rae on August 11, 1992 in Paisley Renfrewshire , Scotland. She made her professional wrestling debut in 2009 and her WWE debut in 2017 as a part of the Mae Young Classic, however , she signed with WWE in 2019. She became a member of the ICW in 2011 and became a three time Women’s Champion in the promotion. She is also a one time Fierce Females Champion for ICW. While in ICW , Fyre was a member of the faction , Black Label alongside Drew Galloway ( Drew McIntyre) , Wolfgang, Jack Jester , and her husband, Stevie Boy. She also appeared in TNA’s British Bootcamp. In 2015, she made a one time appearance on NXT , losing to Nia Jax, thus , returning to WWE in the Mae Young Classic. She is a one time NXT UK Women’s Champion and NXT Tag Team Champion with Isla Dawn. She is also a Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Winner alongside Io Shirai ( Iyo Sky ).

Isla Dawn

Isla Dawn was born Courtney Stewart on February 2, 1994 in Glasgow , Scotland. She made her professional wrestling debut in 2013 and made her WWE debut in the Mae Young Classic in 2017. Dawn defeated Nikki Storm ( Nikki Cross/ASH) in 2016 in the first Women’s match for Reckless Intent Wrestling. She also competed in the Inaugural wrestling show for Pro Wrestling: EVE. She also competed in the 5 Star Grand Prix Tournament for the Japanese wrestling promotion , World Wonder Ring Stardom ( Stardom) in 2016. In 2017 , she made an appearance on WWE Monday Night RAW as Stacy Coates in a squash match against Asuka. She was defeated. She competed in the 2018 Mae Young Classic and was signed to WWE ‘s NXT UK in 2018. She is a one time NXT Women’s Tag Team Champion alongside Alba Fyre.

The Unholy Union will be competing in a Triple Threat Match against Shayna Baszler and Zoey Stark and Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships at Clash At The Castle.

My Final Thoughts:

Part 3 of this series was one of the most interesting to research and write about. These wrestlers are some of the best on WWE programming. I’ll be writing about Nikki Cross/ASH in the finale of the series.

Love You All,

-Kay

[texangamer13]

Defending the @equestria-wrestling-predition title again. Let's do it.

Predictions for Survivor Series this year

===============================

War Games Match

Cody Rhodes, Sami Zayn, Jey Uso, Randy Orton & Seth Rollins vs. Damian Priest, Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor, JD McDonagh & Drew McIntyre

Winner: Team Cody

War Games Match

Bianca Belair, Charlotte Flair, Shotzi & Becky Lynch vs. Damage CTRL (Asuka, Bayley, Kairi Sane & Iyo Sky)

Winner: Team Damage CTRL

Women's World Championship

Rhea Ripley (c) vs. Zoey Stark

Winner: Rhea Ripley

Intercontinental Championship

Gunther (c) vs. The Miz

Winner: Gunther

Carlito vs. Santos Escobar

Winner: Santos Escobar

Confidence List

(write the predictions in the order of most to least confidence that you're right put who you think will win on the list only)

1 - Rhea Ripley

2 - Gunther

3 - Santos Escobar

4 - Team Cody

5 - Team Damage CTRL

Bonus Prediction

(non match results/ outside of ring events you think will happen.)

(New Rule added saying a wrestler will make an appearance they must be seen live either backstage or in the ring not in an commercial or a hype package)

1 - CM Punk Returns

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Reviving & Re-Casting an Old Idea: Neutralised (1994) [1/?]

For those who didn't know me back when this blog first started, it was not a wrestling or music fanfiction blog, it was a page for my comic book and tv series ideas.

Back then I had 2 ideas that I never quite found time to write for: Brainwaves (A Ghostbusters AU), and Neutralised (a sitcom/drama series set in a mortuary building). Yes, I know the idea of Neutralised seems a bit odd, but I was watching a bunch of 'Chicago Hope' and 'Dead Like Me' and decided to set it in the same universe as 'Chicago Hope'.

So, without further rambling, I give you, part 1 of my rewrites & recasts for:

*Insert Dramatic Thunder Strike Here*

Neutralised (1994):

Set in 1994 in *Elwood Blues Voice* Chicago, Illinois. Inside the grounds of Mortimer & Co. Mortuary Services. The show's main trio are the three grave diggers hired to, well, dig graves.

Mortimer & Co. In Alphabetical Order:

Abraham Machado / Abe / Bram: One of the three grave-diggers

Actor: Alfred Molina

Andreina Neri / Andi: The Building's Nurse

Actress: Robin Wright

Caleb J. Willow / C.J / Cal: One of the three grave-diggers

Actor: Cary Elwes

Dove J. Lews / D.J: Ichabod's Lawyer

Actress: Alfre Woodard

Esmé Verity: The Mortuary Assistant

Actress: Janeane Garofalo

Faustus Sanchez / Faust: Nightshift Security Guard

Actor: Hank Azaria

Grayson Bryant / Gray: Mortimer & Co. Secretary

Actor: Harold Perrineau

Hunter Kingsley / King: Mortimer & Co. Secretary

Actor: Chris Farley

Ichabod Mortimer / Mr Mortimer: The Boss & Owner of the Building

Actor: Danny DeVito

Jared R. Foster / J.R: Nightshift Security Guard

Actor: Kirk Acevedo

Kane Carter / K.C: Dayshift Security Guard

Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Lance Carter: Kane's Brother & An Electrician

Actor: John Goodman

Monday L. Duke / Mona / Mona Lisa: One of the three grave-diggers

Actress: Patricia Arquette

Noam Gold / Doctor No: The Coroner

Actor: Oliver Platt

Omega Finch / Meg: Medical Examiner

Actor: Willem Dafoe

Peyton Blythe: A Female Hearse Driver

Actress: Regina King

Russel Warszawski / Russ: Ichabod's Errand Boy & Winslow's Younger Brother

Actor: Adam Sandler

Sullivan Landon / Sully: Mortimer & Co's Embalmer

Actor: Christopher Lloyd

Tuesday J. Duke / T.J: Monday's Younger Sister

Actress: Reese Witherspoon

Victor Jamison / Vic: Chicago Police's Forensic Science Technician

Actor: Mike Myers

Winslow Warszawski: Russel's Older Brother & A Hearse Driver

Actor: Brad Garrett

Xavier Solomon: The Men's Desairologist

Actor: David Spade

Yancy Haggard: Junior Embalmer

Actor: Kiefer Sutherland

Zoey Knight: The Women's Desairologist

Actor: Geena Davis

[momochizoey]

Maybe a bit of a weird question: I've got a vague outline for a Locked Tomb (Griddlehark) fic based on an idea that I think is really cool, but I kind of need to talk it through with someone who has actually read TLT series in order to work out one or two kinks in the plot. If anyone who follows me would be willing to lend a hand please let me know! Any help would be appreciated, even if it's just listening to me ramble about the idea and telling me if it sounds like it'd work or not

[wrestle-dreamhq]

Welcome to WRESTLEDREAMHQ! A Discord based wrestling server! We are NON KAYFABE. For those who don’t know what that means. We DONT write matches out or follow the gimmicks of the wrestlers we write as. We focus more on what happens outside of the ring. Behind the scenes and make connections / friendships that way!

Our server has :

~ Private Roleplay Text & Para Channels.

~ Monthly Events.

~ Plenty of opportunities to make connections and make friends. Along with Admins who DO NOT abandon the server!

Here’s our current most wanted :

Jon Moxley, Roxanne Perez, Roman Reigns, Logan Paul, Chelsea Green, Jamie Hayter, Deonna Purrazzo, Jack Perry, Randy Orton, Will Osprey, Xia Li, Zoey Starks, Jimmy Uso, Kayla Braxton, Orange Cassidy, Sami Zayn, Harley Cameron, Cathy Kelley, AJ Lee, Kelani Jordan, Indi Hartwell, Fallon Henley, Ricky Starks, Jacy Jayne, Saraya, Eddie Kingston, Wheeler Yuta, Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks, and many many more.

[worldscollidehqrpg]

Happy Sunday Tags!

want to find a place to write/ make connections and are able to discuss what’s going on in the wrestling world? Look no further! WorldsCollideHQ is a fun active and inclusive wrestling roleplay server on discord that allows all of that!

we have private roleplay text channels, private roleplay para channels, a group chat with everyone, out of character chats. Weekly tasks and monthly events.

we’re currently looking for (but not limited too) the following roles :

Toni Storm. Saraya. Rebel. Vipress. Nick Jackson. Matt Jackson. Braun Strowman. Dante Martin. Hikaru Shida. Kris Statlander. Steph De Lander. Austin Theory. Matt Riddle. Will Ospreay. Chelsea Green. Jamie Hayter. Carmella. Corey Graves. Baron Corbin. Eddie Kingston. Willow nightingale. Athena. Kari Sane. Eva Marie. Rodrick Strong. Jimmy Uso. Solo Sikoa. Brody King. Brie Bella. Summer Rae. Trish Stratus. Zoey Starks. (And many more)

[mangora]

Noah, Scott and Ella

Noah:

•Kitty introduces him to visual novels. He’s never really been into them before and prefers fighting games, but I think some would grow on him, like Ace Attorney or Policenauts (he still thinks dating sims are stupid)

•He runs cold, which is why he’s dressed in so many layers. I also headcanon that he’s autistic and hyposensitive touch-wise. He likes the feeling of all the layers, it’s like a big hug all the time.

•He reads a lot and has a huge range of genres he likes. Nonfiction is a big one, but he also loves fantasy novels and satires/allegories. I feel like he has a soft spot for the Lord of the Rings series.

•He uses 3-in-1 shampoo. Hot take, I know, but I feel like he’d find things like extensive skincare or hair routines ridiculous and hardly impactful enough to justify.

•He and Cody play chess together and it pisses Noah off because Cody is actually better at it than him.

Scott:

•I think he’s had at least a small crush on half the cast (namely Dawn, B, Dakota, Mike, and Zoey) and he just had such a horrid time accepting that that he decided to hate them and eliminate them. Pansexual king I suppose

•He watched a lot of Jerry Springer growing up

•He and Albertha (his sister mentioned in All Stars) are really close but they bicker a lot because they’re both little shits. They hang out a lot on their farm because their parents suck. They also shoplift from local stores together, and shoot beer cans with slingshots or whatever. Tangent but Albertha loves the pigs they raise on their farm, she’s an absolute queen

•He was on his high school wrestling team. It was the one thing he excelled in. He intimidated a lot of people into helping him cheat to keep his grades high enough to stay on. He was basically the captain

•He collects animal bones and teeth and such. He really envies Dawn and Mike & Mal & Manitoba who have way better collections than him.

Ella:

•She has a sibling who’s goth and doesn’t get on with their whole family’s Disney/theatre thing. They all get along pretty well though. They have a real Ever After High kid/Monster High kid dichotomy going.

•She owns a lot of succulents and small fruit plants. They’re her pride and joy, and she has names for all of them

•She’s really into history, specifically medieval, royal, and European history. She loves drawing historically accurate fairy tale costumes.

•She’s a doll collector, and so is her sibling. Her parents are both figurine and playbill collectors.

•After the show, she and Sammy & Jasmine become really good friends on the new Playa Des Losers. Sammy and Jasmine make her realize that Sugar was manipulating her and bullying her, and inspire her to stand up to her. She also defends Sammy against Amy. Unrelated but I have an AU idea where Ella is a princess and Sammy is a peasant girl who runs away and pretends to be a knight in order to save her. I kinda wanna write a fic for it honestly.

[popculturebuffet]

March of the Penguins: Surfs Up! 2: WaveMania Review: God Dammit Kevin (Commision for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. I’m Jake I review animation and stuff. And welcome to the finale of march of the penguins, my march long look at penguins stuff as comissioned by weirdkev 27. If you want to comission something yourself just hit up my ask box or dm’s and we’ll talk shop. Slots are still open for May and you don’t have to pay till things.

And i’m not one to take the side door, i’ll come up front and knock this is one of the worst things i’ve reviewed for this blog. And granted, for those new here, I’m not the kind of reviewer who reviews bad stuff normally. I’m far from against it and there’s some truly awful media I have on my to do list for some day, I just like diving into why a work is so amazing. I’m not afraid to point out flaws even in the best of stuff, but I really like showing why stuff is so good and trying to get more people to check it out. That said sometimes you need someone to agree with you on why something is great, sometimes you need someone to show you something cool or help you get off the fence on a show.. and sometimes, like this time, you need someone to tear apart a work with only their teeth because either you’ve watched this crap and felt that pain or want to know what the hell this weird thing is but don’t have the stomach. And today, i’m the man for the job.

So yeah, Surf’s Up, the incredibly forgetable surf penguin movie from 2008.. got a sequel 10 years later. Why? Well as I postulated when I reviewed the original last week..

Or to elaborate further: at the time WWE was making a bunch of movies with Warner Bros, using their DTV division to crank out a total of for Hannah Barbera crossovers. Sadly none of them involve someone piledriving Yogi Bear but since Jellystone exists, we still have hope. The why is simple: WWE President and rabid wolverine in the body of an elderly man Vincent Kennedy McMahon loves easy money, he loves having wwe in things that aren’t wrestling because he paradocialy hates the very thing that gave him money, so singing up to have some of his wrestlers show up for some hyjinks while Warner paid them and WWE for the privlage is a no brainer. It’s honestly shocking he didn’t keep this going and we haven’t gotten like... 6 more wwe/scooby doo movies, but the fact he did this in the first place. 

This one though is a suprise as it comes from Sony instead, who clearly saw what Warner was doing and having their own DTV division that put in far less effort but still makes depressing amounts of money, they likely came to WWE and vince was like “JUST SHOVEL IT INTO THE BIN ( UNTRASNLATABLE VINCE MCMAHON NOISES)”.

And thus the sequel no one asked for or wanted to make was born! So what madness hath sony and the WWE wrought? Find out under the cut!

To it’s  credit to this film it does have more of a plot... it’s just that plot is a standard adventure movie mixed with what plot the first one had. 

It’s sometime after the first film and Cody, rookie surfer and walking energy drink commerical, has semi-retired after giving up his chance at winning the Big Z Classic to save Chicken Joe. As such he’s still on Pengu, having opened his own surf school there with Lani, his love intrest from last time who he may or not be a couple with this time because the writers had two hours to write this before SONY released the hounds. 

Since Shia LeBOOOOuf and Zoey Daschenel were unavaiable, i.e. they likely wanted as much to do with this as the people who actually had to make it, this time the two are played by Jeremey Shada, aka Finn

And Melissa Sturm.. who i’ve never heard of and wikipedia dosen’t have a page for so yeah. 

Shada does his best with the script given, trying to inject some energy into it and trying his hardest. The character still blows and we’ll get to why, but I give him credit for trying.. even if I find it funny how often he lapses into finn’s voice. It’s just always a delight but I can’t fault him given it’s what he’s done most of his voice acting in. Not bad, and not really a step down as while Shia had his moments, he also lapsed WAY too much into his default mode of SHOUTING EVERY LINE LIKE AN ANNOYING PISSANT. It isn’t Transformers level of bad but it was nice to have an actor who didn’t feel the need to scream his lines and who wasn’t absolutely baked for the first act. Seriously he sounded really high for the shiverpool portion of the film. And unlike John Heder in this film he had no real excuse the film wasn’t that bad and he was likely getting paid a good chunk of it’s budget. Jeremey tried for what had ot be five bucks and an apology that this was now going on his resume. 

Sturm is fine, but has far less energy than Zoey did... otherwise she’s okay. Not much else to say. The kids from the first film also return, if with new actors. So.. there’s that. 

We do get two returning faces though: Dietrich Bader is back as Tank, Cody’s rival... and sadly he’s given NOTHING to work with. Again. Tank is still a one dimensonal bully, he still wants to fuck his trophys, 

Weird Sex Stuff In These Films: 5

But otherwise is just there to be an obnoxious antagonist. And at least last time he had his beating Z and general competence. Here while he’s still not a bad surfer, he’s just there because they needed someone to piss Cody off.

Joe also returns, played by John Heder, who as I said i’m pretty sure was stoned off his ass as Joe is even more relaxed. That being said it fits the character and John’s career had sunk in 10 years to the point he actually returned for surf’s up 2. He still tries though and is honestly one of the better parts of the film... evne if joe looks just godawful. While the cg obviously not as good as the original, it’s still passable for most characters and looks fine enough. A shame given the orignial was beautiful but for a DTV cashgrab made likely as quickly as possible, it’s fine. But Joe just looks weirdly smooth and unfinished, like they ran out of time and just left him like this. He’s since become a world famous surfer. 

You might also notice a  big absence from the original. While obviously cutting down on characters isn’t a terrible idea here, budget mixed with having 5 new ones and the plot getting from pengu, there’s one whose complete absence and the films constant attempts to right around are INCREDIBLY noticable: Big Z. Z is entirely missing, he’s replaced as Cody’s inspiration with the new addition of the Hang 5, and his big return is never commented on. And this.. REALLY bothers me as Z was a huge part of the last film and given the Hang Five were surfers at the same time he was, him being around could be intresting. He could know them well, or have even been a member once and simply went off on his own, a nice parallel to how cody wants to leave his friends. There’s a lot you could do with him and you didn’t need to write him out and him being on pengu adds more weight to cody wanting to leave as Z is like a dad to him and cody is the reason z left. Plus it’d be intresting to see waht happened AFTER Z came back and where he is. I get you coudln’t get jeff bridges, but given they had no issue replacing the others and there are plenty of talented vetran voice actors who are skilled mimics, finding someone who coudl do a jeff bridges impersionation couldn’t be THAT hard. What a waste. 

Anyway out with the Z in with the hang 5. Their basically a team of extreme sports enthusists who seek out crazy shit to do and their , given the WWE tie in nature played by wrestlers so without further ado LET’S GET READY TO INTRODUCE THE WRESTLERS WHO TOOK A PAYCHECK FOR THIS MOVIEEEEEE!

First up is Mr. McMahon, which is what Vince uses in kayfabe as his name.  Vince is the head of WWE, a jacked insane old grandpa who STILl runs the company despite everyone begging him not to. Vince changed wrestling by going against his father, Vince Sr.’s wishes and canablizing the terriotry system at the time to create his own empire, launching wrestling in the stratosphere thanks to the combination of tie ins with celebrites such as Cindy Lauper, media savy and professional douchebag Hulk Hogan as his major star. 

Vince is also known for a variety of thigns, most of them batshit insane, and just so you get an idea of who we’re dealing with, and by you I mean Kev who isn’t that familiar with wrestling here are just some examples to let you know what exactly your dealing iwth: 

1. Tore both his quads in a rage running to the ring to correct a flawed finish

2. Faked his own death for a storyline complete with a CAR EXPLOSION, a memorial episode the next night and a press release.. and then had to walk it back because the christ benoit tragedy happened literlaly the next night.

3. Did not know what a burrito was for over a decade despite having had them several times because he apparently just does not care what he puts into his body to the point he dosen’t ask what he’s eating. 

4. Had several grown men literally kiss his ass. 

5. This

6. Did a contest where he randomly called people and gave them a million dollars and during which, thanks to someone having it as their ringback, got rickrolled on live television

7. Tried to greenlight a storyline where he’d be the father of his daughter’s unborn child. When turned down for obvious reasons he suggested to her “what about shane”.. her BROTHER. 

8. Tried booking something with a wrestler they no longer had on staff, and who when told he wasn’t refused to belive that to the point they had to resign the guy just to make reality bend to his whims. 

9. Deciding beaver cleavage, aka “what if leave it to beaver but with incest” was a good idea. 

10. And I save the best for last... he once challenged Sean Micheals to a tag match. Normal so far but then you get to the partners. Vince’s is, and this is swear to Usopp his exact words “the product of my semen, my son shane”. Sean Micheals? GOD. Who actaully showed up in a beam of light. And just in case you think i’m making any of this up

I.. I honestly could’ve just had the last one. Oh and he founded his own church in kayfabe.. and shot his doing so at an actual church. And I swear to god it feels like he got to write his own dialouge a lot of the time and the most the creators did to reign him in was “okay vince we can’t have a cocaine fueled fish orgy in a children’s film” 

Next up we have JOHNNNNNN CENNNNAAAAA. 9 time world champ, idol of milions and currently a successful movie and tv star. And the last one isn’t hype: after slowly working his way up with Trainwreck, Blockers and F9, which is just.. awkard to type. Like it’s only two letters but it sounds like a key command not a film. Stop it fast and the furious films, stop it. Just call it 9 fast 9 furious: we don’t need seatbelts like god intended. 

Anyways yeah Peacemaker himself is in this and playing his role in wrestling which was uber babyface. He was the late 2000′s and 2010′s hulk hogan, minus the politcking and blatant racisim. He left that to vince. SO his character is pretty flat but John does at least try.. that’s really the recurring theme here: these actors and wrestlers and wrestlers/actors are trying. This film’s script just really, really sucks. Everyone tries, let’s just put it at that to save time. 

Next up.. TIME TO PLAY THE GAMEEEEEEEEE. HHH, son in law to vince, multi time champion, and the former mastermind of NXT. HHH has a complex history: he is a legit good wrestler and his wrestling themes fucking slap, mostly because at least two are by Motorhead. Yes the real motorhead. But he also spent a chunk of the 2000′s in his reign of terror, politicking to hulk hogan levels and thus runing several careers by holding the championship in his iron fist. He also once simulated having sex with a doll to simulate his opponent doing a necrophilia. I don’t have a joke there.. I just.... that sure did happen. 

He did however book NXT and do a good job of it and was only removed for stupid reasons and the show falling in raitings and getting blamed for it despite being opisite AEW, aka WWE’s first equal competior in decades. Point is he’s done good for wrestling.. and also married his wife in kayfabe by drugging her and driving thorugh a wedding chappel which had no questions about a man marrying an unconcious woman. The wedding story every couple dreams of I suppose. 

Trips plays the more helelish one of the hang five, though still a good dude. Like I said their playing their wrestling characters and Tri is one of the biggest heels in wrestling, so having him play the jerk of the group,k while still having tank to be the absolute asshole, makes perfect sense. 

Next up is the phenom, mr. wrestlemania, teddy long’s secret weapon, The Undertaker! Mark Calloway had a decades long career playing a spooky zombie man who could summon lightning.. and a brief period ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN WHAT with limp biskit. I’m not kidding that was his theme song. All the things i’ve typed today about wrestling history and that might be the most embarssing. 

Point is another decorated storied man mountain who mostly spends the film wanting to eat chicken joe and making spooky man jokes most of which are eh but we do get one where he literally digs himself a grave to sleep in every night. That.. that got a geninue  laugh out of me

Finally we have the only woman of the group and while her career wasn’t as long, due to an injury sidelining her in 2018, she’s still not only active with the company but a legend Paige. Multiple time divas and women’s champ, queen of all goths and brits and fun as hell, Paige is a women’s wrestling icon, and also got a movie made about her life, fighting with my family, which i’ve heard is good. So not as much to say, but she still does a good job and out of the actors brings the most energy in. Also puffin paige is strangely hot.. maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s because paige is voicing her I dunno i’m weird. 

Oh also WWE interviewer MIcheal Cole is there as a seagull. He adds nothing to the film and the only thing I can say is his hair at least is somehow only slightly less rediculous on a seagull. 

So anyways these 5 are cody’s heroes ... and just as Cody’s regretting never being somebody, they end up on the island and Cody, fanboying hard, throws a luau for them. Look i’d do the same if I were him and my heroes showed up at my doorstep... I don’t know why Al ewing, David Byrne, Justin Hawkins, Doc Hammer, Jackson Publick, Rebecca Sugar, Ian Jones Quartlery, Killer Mike, E-LP and the ghosts of david bowie and stan lee would be at my door, but i’m not asking questions, i’m going to get a pizza. 

Turns out Vinnie Mac has more reasons than just because to come here. Turns out he’s planning to retire, which is wholly unrealistic. Vincent Kennedy McMahon will only retire when he dies in a way befiting him: being decapitated in a highlander swordfight with hunter in a steel cage. But Otter Vinnie Mac wants to retire so he can drink fish milk. That’s his running bit here, he wants to milk fish, and we get a.. horrifying animation of him sucking milk directly from the fish’s.. well you can probbaly guess given fish don’t give out mlik. And this horrifying moment is one of the main reasons kev pitched this. And while it is horrifyingly hilarious on it’s own, it’s even funnier when you look at paige who just looks.. dead eyed. Which I susupect is how the writers and the actual paige looked and they just copied it to the animation, as i’m throughly convinced this was just vince being vince and they ran with it because he’s paying for this monstrosity.  And of course 

Weird Sex Stuff IN This Franchise Count: 8 (It’s a three pointer) 

And yes that’s why I started this gag... I just expected it to ONLY be this gag. I undereistmaed the first film and this one. 

So he wants a replacement and Paige suggets lani after she saves arnold again. Cody is naturally crushed so he does what any resonable boyfriend would do he’s happy for her and the film mercefully ends

No of course he showboats to get himself an audition. Naturally given we have four main characters each of the non-vinnie mac five pick a canditate so the undertaker picks chicken joe so he can eat him. Does that count? eh... why not. 

Weird Sex Stuff In This Franchise: 9

Whlie HHH picks tank because he kisses his ass and is incredibly built and that’s all he needs in a minon. 

So Vinnie agrees to it as long as they watch them and makes it into a contest: he’ll be watching ot pick one as a replacment and the hang 5 are responsible to make sure they don’t die as they head into spooky scary skeleton island.. it has an actual name but i’ts basically your standard island of death, where the legendary surf spot the trench awaits them. Yes for some reason this film has a weird indiania jones style quest with a weird king kong style lost world island.. but frankly given the story is once again about as weighty as a feather, it at least makes for some intresting actoin set pieces. 

So our heroes ride their whale into spooky scary skeleton island, getting off said whale and finding themselves in the first set piece: a massive desert made of dried whale bones that can be surfed on. Thus a challenge is set by the bully twins: last one down wins. We do get some REALLY fun sand surfing and it’s really cool to watch, so it has that going for it but film wise.. the story is really weak. The island being cool is the ONLY thing the film has going for it: the jokes are mostly weak or only funny because vince sounds as insane as he does in real life, constantly talking to a conch for deus ex plot exposition. There’s also a runner about Paige wanting a superhero spinoff. The interview segments are even MORE pointless this time around , because apparently that was possible, and Tanks is just replacing wanting to fuck his trophys with wanting to fuck his board

Weird Sex Stuff In This Franchise:10

And Joe asks if she has a sister which i’m countin seperatley

Weird Sex Stuff In This Franchise: 11

It’s just.. a lot of nothing. The WWE cast is one note, the surfs up cast is reduced to one note. Only VInnie Mac is at all entertaining and that’s again becaue he’s playing himself. 

It dosne’t help that Cody.. is really bad in this film. He’s learning the same lesson again: to just enjoy frinedship or whatever instead of competition. But he comes off so bad: he wants to leave his longterm sorta girlfriend who he’s built a life with on a whim, is jealous of his best friend, and wants the glory he WILLINGLY GAVE UP. He’s been factoryr eset to the same douchebag he was before but WITHOUT any motivation: his mom only makes a voice cameo and while i’m thankful glenn’s gone, without his brother or anything to really motivate him other than glory, he’s just obnoxious. I understand him hating Tank, I also wish a whale would drop on his head. tank sucks. But he gets so overly competitive with the guy that he makes a whole speech about never coming back to pengu and then TRIES TO MURDER HIM IN LAVA.

Yup. While at first their rivarly is understandable: tank is an ass to him constantly, eventually it gets to the point that while hanglidlig over a volcano which is again really fun (As is a sequence in an indiania jones temple i’m glossing over), and really creative as cody had the idea to hanglide from said temple and it does use the idea of thermal vents without saying it so it is fun.. but it’s ruined by cody trying to bodycheck tank into LAVA. He tries to kill him.. and nearly gets joe killed. 

And granted he feels bad over it he does.. but it kinda shows how fall you’ve fallen from the original when you’ve gone from your heroes darkest hour being him simply disonwing his hero without getting why his hero quit and being kinda  jerk.. TO NEARLY GETTING HIS BEST FRIEND KILLED BEING A RECKLESS DOUCHE CANOE. 

So yeah one indiani jones temple where tank picks up a new girlfriend later, yes really he picks up a golden board and nearly gets everyone killed, and after the cool near murdre scene, Cody leaves in shame, and John tells lani not to follow him as he needs some moepy solo time

Anyways we then get our climax as our heroes head to the trench.. and this whole contest ends up pointless as Cody is obviously going to choose to stay, and Lani and Joe back out of the running once they find out these idiots want to ride in a thunderstorm and Tank then nearly dies when he goes along anyway to get the role.. only to chicken out. And also nearly die. Again the action is really cool.. but really cool set pieces just don’t work if they dont’ have a good story wit them. As an example lately i’ve been reading Naruto because I didn’t really get into it as a teen, but giving it a second chance thanks to TotallyNotMark i’ve enjoyed it. 

And one fight I really enjoyed so far was Rock Lee Vs Gara. And why it works.. is we get emotoinal investment in lee. We find out he was a kid with no chakra (aka the thing that makes ninja techniques work) and had to work twice as hard, and see via a mid fight flashbcak his loving relationship with his mentor guy, who called his charge a “genius of hard work��� and supported him... and also see that backfire as lee goes way too hard with his teqnchise which fuck up the body if not careful. My point is here we CARE about lee’s struggle because w egot to know him and root for him. Here.. all these people are cardboard cutouts of penguins, a sexy puffin and a sexy otter grandpa. We don’t care if they live or die and in tanks case we’d welcome it. So as such while the action is cool, we dont’ care. Wether as with Lee Vs Gara we’re watching a weirdo in a bowl cut tear himself apart internally so he can punch a creepy murder  boy made out of sand. That’s awesome. This.. this could’ve been but isn’t. 

So quick wrapup: cody returns, he saves tnak,k he turns down the job and vince decides not to retire, and everyone goes off to surf in a typhoon and somehow lives to shoot a commerical for Cody’s school, which has united with Tanks because their cool now. 

Final Thoughts:

To put it in terms of werid al covers

This film was PAINFUL to get to. I had to keep pasuing becaus eit was just a boring slog of a film with nothing going for it. The first film at least had some things even fi ti wasn’t great but this one... it was worse than muppets wizard of oz. While I do n’t like that film any more it at least had moments of actual entertainment. This film had maybe ONE and while it had moment sof unetiotnal hilarlity it just ddn’t have enough. If you want to see these wrestlers in a goofy as hell animated film.. go watch the wwe ones. THere’s more over the top nonsense, cameos from the same wrestlers, and even MORE camoes.  I paticuarlly recommend the second WWE film, curse of the speed demon which has multiple car top fights, and while it lacks john cena, it still has the other 4 people from this film PLUS the miz, dusty rhodes baby! both rhodes brothers, sheamus who ATTACKS A GHOST WITH A FREAKING SWORD, and RUSEV, STRONGEST IN ALL OF RUSSIA. That film isn’t high art by any means but it’s at least the kind of over the top nonsense yo’ud want. This.. this is just a waste of time and kev’s 15 dollars. it is a really, really bad film and int he worsrt way: it was boring and obnoxious and it wasted my time and i’m thankful I get to move on to better things this week like watchmen and civil war laser tag. Fuck this movie.