#Zinc kinda sees Diana as a kindred soul. wants to be friends. maybe even something more. but mostly friends

[cakeinthevoid]

Porcelain

yes minutes after my warning I am already posting a snippet. Context? What context? I decided on a quick blurb but if you genuinely have questions/want to know more—send an ask!!!!!

Zinc spends more time with Diana now that she seems cooperative. Diana tries to resist it but she’s so lonely and desperate. She grows to like Zinc, barring the fact that he’s a part of the crew. He tells her about his home and how Marc found him. Diana tells him about the landscape of her home, how it’s really a moon. About architecture and ceramics. She gets choked up. Zinc hesitatingly puts a hand on her shoulder. She tenses but doesn’t pull away. Zinc is paged away into a crew meeting. He leaves awkwardly. 

The next day, after Diana gets a batch of seeds to sprout, Zinc brings water in a ceramic bowl. It’s off white, well used with a chip and a few scratches in the glaze, but has an intricate pattern going around the rim. He gives it to her (to drink the water first, which she does in one sitting then regrets because she probably isn’t getting more) to inspect. She tells him it’s a reinforced porcelain and not pure clay. Then she does a deep dive into the ceramic quality and when it was likely made. She flips the bowl around and tracing the ridges with her fingers, getting super into it. 

“It’s… charming.” 

Diana thumbed the design. “If this was hand painted, it’s really well done,” she said, almost only to herself. “Everything is done in an even coat but—oh.” She stopped twisting the bowl and pointed at a barely noticeable break in the seam of the pattern looping around. She tilted it towards Zinc so he could see.

“What is it?” He leaned in to inspect. 

“Misprint. It wasn’t painted; it was stamped. That explains the colour and thinness,” she muttered.

Zinc looked up at her in awe. “You can tell all of that just from looking at it?” 

Diana averted her gaze, dropping it back to her hands that were fidgeting with the bowl. “It’s just educated guesswork. I work with clay.” She paused, turning the bowl so that the glaze could catch the light. “Worked with, I guess. The glaze seems kind of cheap, too,” she added before holding out the bowl. 

“What?” 

“Aren’t you going to take it back?” 

“Oh. Um,” he fidgeted. “You can—if you like it, you can keep it.” 

Diana lowered her arm. “Where would I keep it?” She said after a beat. “Just take it,” she said forcefully, placing the bowl on the floor with care and turning away. 

“Diana—“

“Don’t,” she snapped. “Just… don’t,” she whispered. She pulled away and settled by the wall in such a way that the chain linked above rested on the ground to her right, between her and Zinc. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

Diana said nothing, keeping her back to Zinc, despite the voice in her head screaming to turn around.

“...If you keep… cooperating… Marc will probably let you off the chain, you know.” Diana tensed. “You could be a part of our crew.” 

“What makes you think I’d want that?” She spat, still refusing to look at him. “What makes you think that the moment I’m free, I wouldn’t get the hell off this prison?” 

Zinc gasped. “Don’t say that!” 

She finally looked at him over her shoulder and chuckled humourlessly. “Or what? I can’t believe…” she trailed off as she turned away again.

His gaze darkened. “You know if she hears you talk like that you’ll be stuck like this.” Zinc shook his head and sighed, “I don’t understand what would be so bad if you just joined us.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said darkly.

Zinc looked up, exasperated. “Yeah, I think I have some idea. You think I’m oblivious to what’s going on? You already told me what happened to your moon. Marc told the whole crew about the deal.” His voice quieted. “And… I run the security systems on the ship… I’ve seen the cameras.” 

Diana was mortified to feel ashamed, and tried to drown out that burning emotion with a wave of fury. 

“You—” 

“Your home is gone. At least here, you could have a new life. It really isn't so bad, and maybe you could even go off the ship someday and help Zeyver get plants or even work with clay again! You could have real friends here. Family, even.”

Diana whipped around. Zinc flinched back at her eyes, bright with tears. 

“How dare you?” She started in a raspy voice. “My home isn’t gone and my family isn’t—they’re not—my real friends aren’t—” her voice broke off into a sob. She dropped her head into shaking hands, gasping between sobs. It hurt because he was right, she thought. She was well and truly alone. 

Her breathing hitched, body tensing at the sensation of something wrapping around her. 

Zinc was hugging her. 

She hated it. Hated him. She wanted him to let go. 

She was desperate. Pathetic.

Diana tried to relax into the hug but, “You knew…” she sobbed. 

“I voted against it, at first," he said into her hair. "But then… I didn’t know. I should’ve gone with instinct.” 

“You knew…” she repeated, again and again. 

“Shh,” he soothed, running a hand down her back. It felt like bugs were crawling after his hand. 

Despite all the noise in her head, she leaned into his touch.

She was aware of every point of contact—it felt like knives, even though he was barely touching her. She couldn’t remember when was the last time someone held her without throwing a punch afterwards. The thought tightened the coil in her stomach. 

Zinc was beginning to shake. Or, more likely, she was.

“Are you okay? Sorry, stupid question—” he began to pull away. 

“No—” Diana choked out, and promptly clicked her mouth shut, face aflame. Her damaged hand was gripping his sleeve. Zinc’s eyes dropped to it and she let go as though it too was aflame. 

Oh, she was truly pathetic now. Begging for a hit—

“You want me to… hug you?” It was a statement phrased like a question, but Diana only clenched her jaw tighter, willing the tears in her eyes to stop streaming, willing her body to stop begging for touch and distance at the same time—willing herself to stop being difficult. 

“Is that a no?” He asked slowly. Diana stayed still. His eyes scanned her and she suddenly felt much too exposed, too vulnerable. 

Gently, he raised the arm she was gripping moments earlier. Her eyes darted to it and he stopped. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask before,” he said, looking at her face even though her eyes were pinned on his hand. “I wasn’t—I wasn’t trying to make you cry and I didn’t know what to do.” He tilted his head slightly. “Did you like it?” 

No, she wanted to say. She hated it and hated him. 

She was beginning to hate herself. She wanted comfort, even if it was from the very people who held her like a beast. 

But she couldn’t say yes, because his touch felt like bugs crawling and knives pressing. It felt like the moments between Amsok’s punches, except then, she knew she would be hit. 

I am truly broken now, she thought and felt her eyes well with more tears. 

Zinc’s own eyes widened, settling into a look of worry. “I’m going to hug you now. If you say no, I’ll stop, okay?” 

Diana wanted to move, to at least nod, or even shake her head, but was terrified to realize she couldn’t move. Her muscles locked and she could only close her eyes as she saw Zinc hesitatingly lean in. 

She shuddered as his arms wrapped around her, landing like moths. 

He didn’t rub her back. He stayed as still as though she were made of glass and wouldn't risk breaking her. She felt his breath on her shoulder. It could have been peaceful. 

Diana could only tolerate it for a couple of minutes. Zinc’s arms gradually felt as though they were growing tighter and his breathing was getting too loud and it’s been too long since—she jerked her head to the side. 

“Di—”

“No,” she said. “No no no—” 

Zinc let go instantly. “Okay! Hey, it’s okay.” He raised his hands in a placating gesture. 

She took a deep breath, ignoring how much colder she suddenly felt. She held her left hand tightly with her right hand, focussing on the pain radiating through the metal, up her arm instead. She exhaled sharply through her nose and shut her eyes as fire flamed through her blood. She kept the pressure until her heart stopped racing.  

Diana opened her eyes, blinking to clear her vision, and was startled to see Zinc still sitting in front of her. 

“Why—” she cleared her throat, “—why are you still here?” 

Zinc shifted self-consciously. “To… make sure you were okay.” 

Diana took in a long breath. “Don’t say that,” she said at length. 

He frowned. She sighed again. 

Diana broke the silence when neither spoke for a minute. 

“What do you want from me?” She whispered. 

“Nothing,” he answered immediately, but she just shook her head. 

Before Diana could disagree, Zinc’s communicator began to buzz and flash. He jumped up, stuttered out an apology for startling her again and another for having to leave so abruptly, and ran down the far hall. 

Alone in the main cabin, Diana breathed a sigh of relief. Slowly, the tension bled out of her muscles and she curled up on the floor, spent. It wasn’t long before the darkness of the cabin and hum of the core lulled her to sleep.

~~~

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