#Zeus is Hera's bitch

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Kronos: Well, if it isn't the Bitchless Quartet!

Hades: Hey! You can't call us that!

Demeter: I mean, you can call HIM that, but not us.

Demeter, *gesturing to herself, Hera & Poseidon*: We get bitches.

[ifevilz]

please, on behalf of all the greek deities, I beg for more fanfics with the most perfect and crazy goddess of the greek pantheon, HERA. she is so hot, angry and possessive. despite all her hard layer, we know that there is the sweet hera kind, compassionate, diplomatic and loving. she just needs to be truly loved, for god’s sake. she is the best goddess, despite her crimes committed by anger. I understand her, and I love how creative and cruel she is with her punishments. she has several layers, toxic and healthy. anyway, I love her and would love that she had more stories.

(I love the way she is in the anime “blood of zeus”, I miss your peacocks but I like the aesthetics of the crows. my wife can do anything.

[spineless-lobster]

No because literally zeus was so crazy for this. You’re trying to flirt with your incredibly hot wife by saying she’s hotter than the other countless women you laid with and impregnated and she’s just supposed to find that charming?

“Oh yeah babe you make me hornier than the other women I’ve slept with” SHE DOESN��T WANT TO HEAR THAT BRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING 😭😭😭

0/10 dating advice what the fuck is this man

[lidera-aro]

I see lots of people saying Athena was able to convince Hera because of Zeus’ infidelity, and like.. Yeah, that definitely took a part. But I don’t think that was the main reason.

Hera is the goddess of Marriage(or family, depending on the translation).

And not to shame other heroes, but tbh lots of them cheated at least once.

So I think Odysseus staying faithful for his wife and child was what made him special to her.

Like, he’s a genius? Sure, lots of them were. He has a silver tongue? Well, that’s not always a good thing, is it?(looking at you, Sisyphus)

But he is faithful to is family? As goddess of marriage, I think that was what made him stand out from others to her.

Also, loved that Ares was the one who said “Is she dead?”

Like, they are both gods of war. Sure, they fight a lot. But they’re siblings, and brutality and strategy are two things that are usually against each other yet deeply connected things.

You use strategy to avoid brutality, yet sometimes it is necessary. It is war, after all.

So, it would make lots of sense that he would feel concerned for her even if they’re at each other’s throat all the time.

And to be honest, I loved Hephaestus’ part.

Saw someone saying Athena was making him relate to Odysseus. And that was really cool. And I agree to that.

Trust becomes something so foreign yet you can’t help but yearn for, once you’ve been betrayed. I feel like he would’ve somehow feel relatable to Eurylochus?

Like, it doesn’t make sense, I know, but Eurylochus is Odysseus’ brother-in-law. They’re family. So I think Hephaestus somehow felt relatable to him(he was betrayed by at least one of his parents, after all)

And I’ll be honest, I think Aphrodite’s part was one of my favorite.

She is goddess of love, and that doesn’t mean she is goddess of Romance. Love comes in different forms, after all.

It’s really interesting, cause we saw Odysseus’ POV in Underworld. We know he regret it deeply and love her much.

But then Aphrodite throws a different point of view. No matter how much he loved her he (regardless of the fact he didn’t intend to) hurt her. Like, knowing he didn’t mean it would cause another emotional turmoil.

To be honest, I feel like all of their reasoning was very fair(considering their domain) and fit their characters.

(Except for Zeus, who made me want to st@b him in the neck-)

[deathlessathanasia]

In Book 8 of the Iliad Zeus is like "Why so grumpy, girls? Are you perhaps tired after slaughtering so many Trojans today?" only a few lines after he had threatened Hera and Athena into giving up their attempt to join the battle. He's funny sometimes.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Tbh I don't understand the hate on Hera for the whole switch thing

My lady just wanted to survive and was the only god actively trying to deal with Gaia.

Sure her plan had holes but at least it was a plan outside of Zeus's 'lets just ignore it and she'll get bored and go away'

[likethexan]

The de facto canon that Hera beats up Artemis with her own bow makes me long for her fighting strategies to be the same thing. Like idc if it can't be canon Hera would absolutely steal Zeus' thunderbolts to sick on him when she finds out about another affair

[i-want-to-steal-youre-kneecaps]

I've seen a lot of depections of hera being a "crazy jelous woman" but to be honest if

My own BROTHER ASSULTED me

Only to then CHEAT on me MULTIPLE times where most of the time the other women didnt want it either

I would be a bitch about it as well

Like I would not punish the women but I would be pissed as well she should just go after him

[sarafangirlart]

I like the idea that Iris secretly can’t stand Zeus because of what happened to Arke and it’s part of why she’s so willing to help Hera with her schemes

Yeah I think this too. Tho I’m still figuring out why she would side with him in the Trojan War.

[lesbianbanana]

Hermes trying to find a babysitter for his little brother: TAKE MY MONEY DAMMIT

Hera: I'm abt to put all the bitches out of business

*cue death*

[papermint-airplane]

I'm doing something in my game today. I ain't sayin what but it's something and I'm doin it.

We have thunderstorms in the area and my brain is like "hm power could go out at any moment...this seems like the perfect time to do something highly intricate and involved in a game that's so fragile, looking at it sideways will make your save combust."

It's going pretty great honestly. The added sense of danger really adds that feeling of pride and accomplishment when you save the game seconds before a lightning bolt strikes outside your window. Not today, Zeus. Not today.

[aki-bara]

why am i like this

sAW ONE POST where someone said a new character in triple goddess laughs at percy for not knowing the answer to some question and immediately got intense anxiety stomach pains.

hana i don't know who you are but if annabeth does not tell you off for being a bitch we are having WORDS.

and the words are me crying by myself in my room in the dark because why is everyone mean to my boy what has he done to deserve this.

[athamad]

I'm not a mean person, l swear I'm not, but when l see any type of post or content calling a male character from Greek mythology 'bad'... l can't help myself but rant in my head (...and maybe in the hashtags...) and one of these days I'm going to go insane

[spineless-lobster]

Oh my god okay so I just like made myself really sad about hera so uhm let me start from the beginning

So obviously we know that zeus is the worst and hera has to put up with all of his bullshit affairs right? But I always kinda wondered why. She’s the queen of the gods surely she should be allowed to divorce her husband or at least have other affairs like him

But she’s the goddess of marriage. It would be hypocritical or even against her nature to divorce her husband. She embodies the undying love and loyalty that’s meant to come with marriage

So no matter how much zeus is a lying, scheming, whoring bastard she’ll never be able to leave him and she’ll have to suffer heartbreak after heartbreak. The only way she can reconcile her rage is through taking it out on the innocent women zeus went after

And now I kinda get why women in ancient greece looked to her for protection, it wasn’t just because she’s the queen of the gods, it’s because she knows and understands their suffering. They lived in a very sexist society. Women had little rights (depending on where they lived) and were married off at 13 to some man who was old enough to be their father and they just had to put up with it. Perhaps out of love or perhaps not, but either way it was out of necessity

There’s a comfort in knowing that the queen of olympus goes through the same pain as you, and, like a mother, she will try to save you from it

[violent138]

Textposts for the Greek Gods (pantheon minus Hestia)

Kindly don't even think about enjoying these other shitty textposts in my usual style. This is a special edition, where you get to guess the Greek God via super obvious symbolism.

[existential-life-crisis]

When ur really not hungry and dont want to eat but you also know you just got stocked up on ur comfort food and are craving it like Lamia stopping at nothing to devour children: