#Yuki doesn’t go to red bull huh.

[lyslsstuff]

Good. fucking. Morning.

[keelt9]

Chapter 3

Masterlist

“It was worth it, right?” Lewis looked right to my eyes, a soft smile on his lips.

“The best.” I mumble while taking the last bite of profiterole.

His urgency was because one of the guys on his team bought a freshly baked profiterole, one of my favorite desserts of the world.

Lewis smiles and tosses my hair. “Keep enjoying, I must prepare for the race.” 

I nod watching him go down stairs with Rosa by his side, not before taking another one, wink her eye at me. 

After all the protocol ceremony I go to the garage to see Lewis getting in the car and like a manntra ask him please drive safe. As I walk inside I keep greeting the members of the team who are fully focused on their task but smile at me as I walk to the zone where you can stay until the car comes out of the garage.

I see my brother get into the car and receive the last indications from his team, the strong sound of the car announcing he’s ready to take position, he raises his hands, thumbs up. He knows I’m right there.

“Be safe.” I whisper to myself watching him go behind George.

The 4th place is still far from his goal but for the way he enters the garage he’s more satisfied with his performance this time; he remains talking with his team for a couple of moments more than usual, coming out with a smile on his face along with Bono.

“Are you ok?” I ask as he hugs me, Bono nods still I wait for my brother's answer.

With a deep breath he just said. “I’m getting better, slowly but better.”

By the end of the day, he looks relaxed as he keeps talking with Bottas at the beginning of the hospital area.

“What do you say kid?” Bottas asked; they already set plans about going out for drinks, bringing me flashbacks, putting a smile on my face.

“Oh, I love to, but I’m afraid I'm too young to talk about my physical discomfort for my age.” They laughs even Lewis push me a little bit. “Go, have fun, you deserve it.”

“Y/N, found friends in Italy.” Lewis interprets the excitement of Bottas and makes himself more clear. “No, any of the grid, she found an old friend from the collage here.” 

I wave my hand to Yuki who is already leaving the paddock with his team. “I thought you were closer to the young people around here.” Bottas smirk as we walk to the exit.

“A few, just a few.” My eyes stop in a beautiful tiny dog, who is carried by  Alexandra “Hi, young…?” I start to pet his head.

“Boy. Leo, his name is Leo.” She and Charles seem ready to go, too.

“Very charming, I must say.” Leo moves his tail as I rub his head. “Have you met Roscoe?” 

Charles sigh. “We tried but until he came to his first race we didn’t even know Roscoe doesn’t travel that far.” 

“Oh, he will be in Monaco, we can introduce them, right?” I turn around to see my brother who nods softly.

“You’re his manager, I’m at your orders.” Everyone giggles as I click my tongue.

“We'll leave you, have a good night.” They say goodbye before I look down. 

“Young boy, it's a pleasure.” The couple laughed and walked away carrying him.

As Lewis and Bottas were about to walk to one car, Lewis let me take the car which drove him to the paddock for take me to restaurant where I’m meet my friend Donna, our eyes crossed in the Red Bull crew walking with long and heavy steps immerse in a serious talk for the poker face of each one of them.

“The stewarts?” Bottas drops the question to the air, as I look at him.

Lewis opens the door for me to get inside. “I heard about a penalty.” 

“Mad max back for the night?” Lewis giggles before kissing my cheek and saying goodbye to me. “Have fun kid.” Bottas said, waving his hand.

I read and knew about the nickname Max wins in his early years on the F1, but I thought it was a rumor, but maybe it’s not.

“Miss. Hamilton, do you learn something new?” John, Lewis driver asked as I took my coat and laid back in the seat.

I fake a shiver. “We could say so.” He saw me through the rearview mirror. “Drivers could be such a problem, huh?”

John chuckled and said. “Only if you choose wrong.” He stops at a red light. “If you share your time with nice people, no, they have such a good heart. On the other hand, spending your time with controversial…boys, yes, it will be a dangerous move.” 

Such deep words for a 4 pm talk. I take a deep breath as I see the text of my phone, Donna is already in the restaurant. When we arrived I thanked him but he choked his head. 

"For the advice.” He smiles and nods with courtesy.

“Have a good day, Miss Hamilton.” 

Around 5 am I arrived at the hotel, falling asleep on the couch. An early morning text  for Lewis wakes me up, he waits for me in the buffet of the hotel, for siblings day. 

As soon as I got inside of the buffet, I knew. First thing first, I need a juice like every morning. A few people  on the juice station decide which one should be drinking, even Max seems to have a difficult time seeing the different colors, but I have my favorite.

I grabbed a glass, with the firm intention of just saying hi, if it's absolutely needed, I poured a mixture between orange and beetroot, the last one at the other side of the table.

“It seems orange juice is the favorite one.” Max said as I turned at my side trying to figure out if that clumsy comment it’s for someone else, the boy who remained there left a few seconds before.

I guess it’s for me. “I like the classics.” 

“Hi Max, trying to recover your energy early in the morning?” Lewis appears next me kissing the top of my head and smirk on his face.

“I need to be in my best shape.” I look at Lewis trying to figure out if the answer only gives me chills, but he is already looking out of the corner of his eye.

“Righ, right, amm, you seem a little bit nervous, you need…” Max scoffs but he clears his throat.

“Nervous? No, no at all.” Even though he tried, it's clear he felt uncomfortable with us.

“Why is he nervous?” My question makes Lewis smile, only getting me more confused every second.

He grabs a glass too pouting orange juice. “Oh it’s nothing little H. It’s just that I don't used to seeing Max shutter about juice. He looks a little bit out of balance.” 

Max chuckled and still kept answering him back. “I’m not that specialist on juices, out of my comfort zone.”

“Don’t worry man. It’s juice and… unexpected company, early morning.” Lewis put his hand around my shoulders.

“Don’t worry Max, it’s only juice and my brother being a pain in the ass.” I jostle Lewis, making him laugh. “I’ll go for pancakes, see you around.” 

Lewis said goodbye following me with that smile and head down, going to pick his breakfast. We decided to sit outside enjoying the morning sun.

“It isn’t only juice.” Lewis said, taking out his sunglasses and taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Oh come on Lew, it’s so cute!” Lewis and I entered the hotel late that day, ready to pack our bags to go to London. 

Lewis kept observing the harness I bought for Roscoe, yellow with tiny watermelons all over it, of course the LH at one side and his name at the other. 

“He will look…” I covered his mouth before he said anything else. 

“Like a rockstar.” We see each other and laugh. The image of Roscoe wearing that as eats a watermelon, his favorite food, it’s hilarious. 

“It's been a long time since I didn't see this picture.” Bono is walking to us with a bag in his hands, ready to go home.

“Going home?” I ask him, knowing he has to do a quick stop in Brixworth.

He bluff. “I wish. I guess I will see you in two weeks and our good-luck charm, right?”

Lewis nods. “An urgent backup.” Bono shakes his head with a smile on his face before saying goodbye.

Our parents received us like when we were kids, a big hug at the door and something sweet to eat; now two dogs running to us barking and running around us.

Lewis will leave in two days; being a driver and fashion icon it's hard work, on the other hand I leave Thursday morning with Roscoe to Monaco, spending a few days there and doing a purification of my things.

“This is nice, darling.” Dad pointed to the jacket Lewis bought me in Italy. “A new type of style but you look great.” 

“See? I have the finest eye.” Lewis appears with a ball in his hand and a happy Roscoe looking for a snack.

I put it in the bag one more time, giving Roscoe a piece of radish. “Where is Jewel?” 

“She gets tired after 10 minutes and runs with mom for his night walk.” Lewis points out mom and Jewel walking around the garden, a peaceful walk.

“Are you coming to Monaco, dad?” Lewis asks but my father looks at him rolling his eyes, like if Lewis asked the most obvious thing in the world, making us laugh. “Just to be sure.” 

It’s my second day of an exhaustive purification of my things, what a few months ago were 5 boxes now, slowly it’s turning in 3, and any extra suitcase.

The sound of Roscoe scratching a box distracts me from washing the dishes of the dinner.

I walk where he is. “What did you find, baby?” I opened the box to see inside a few of his toys which I didn’t buy for him. “I wasn’t that good at packing.”

Roscoe sits next to me waiting to take out a toy and give it to him. I take one, a rabbit who Caleb, my ex-fiance knew will love it; but immediately put it inside and close the lids of the box.

“Lets this be for the refuge all right? I’ll buy you new ones tomorrow.” I grab his face and give him a peck on the top of bit. “I promise.”

I grab the box and put it inside of the wardrobe of the room Lewis chose for me, away from my view, where the memories are far away.

Next morning as I promise; after breakfast Roscoe and I go for new toys. He carefully smells and touches everyone who calls for his attention. After going down to the store, he chooses 3, a ball, a frisbee and a fluffy toy that looks like a lion. 

We take a break in the park as we watch people come and go; he even plays with some dogs who come closer to us but refuse to go more than 1 meter away from me.

“Let’s go boy, time to go home.” I put his leash on one more time.

After 10 minutes of walking he decided it’s time to take another break because he sat in the middle of the pavement and refused to move.

“Come on boy! It’s just 3 more blocks.” But Roscoe pretends don’t hear me, putting a smile on my face. “Ok, at least can we sit on that bench.” 

Roscoe sees my finger pointing to the bench and walks there pulling me, he waits for me to sit and I carry him to put him at my side.

“Good boy.” He raised his eyes and sniffed my hand. “Definitely that harness is my best purchase in years.” 

I smile as he puts his head on my lap closing his eyes, yes, he needs a nap. I take out my phone for work a little bit.

Pass around 20 minutes when someone calls him. “Roscoe?” Well, not someone, Max called him.

He was in casual clothes and a small paper bag in his hand coming closer to us.

“Hi.” He pets Roscoe head smiling, Roscoe turns a little bit his head, sniffing his hand. “Yeah, I don’t think they let you eat this.” 

I raise my eyebrow. “Oh, it’s chocolate.” The sunglasses didn't help today.

“No, he doesn't.” Roscoe lay one more time on his head. It’s weird, Roscoe has seen Max many, many times but he ignores him like he is a stranger.

“Yeah, I’m not his favorite too.” He makes me smile, I get what he means. 

Roscoe licks his nose and sits, he’s ready to walk, I carefully put him in the ground giving me time to erase the smile on my face.

“Hey, am, I want to apologize for the other night.” Max takes his cap and scratches his head. “I…I… I wasn't thinking right.” 

“Well, you were drunk, that doesn’t help at all.” Max cheeks turn in a soft pink. “It’s all fine, no worries.” 

Roscoe starts to walk, pulling me softly, now he wants to leave. “See you Max.” 

“You want to go for an ice cream?” His invitation left me cold, and fixed on my spot. “I don’t want the first impression to keep being that…that awful.” 

I turn around to find him with hand in his pockets. “It’s ok Max, I believe the juice station is taking the lead. Besides, Roscoe needs to rest properly, but I appreciate the invitation.” 

Roscoe pulls one more time, helping me to leave this awkward moment, Max giggles and nods. “Yeah, I… yeah, see you later, I guess.”

That night after giving the last touches to my monthly report I lay down on the settee, I saw the text of Lewis, he will arrive with our parents the day after tomorrow. 

I see Roscoe who is peacefully snoring in his bed, living the life; along his lion. 

“Maybe you could make a space for you.” I whisper to the fluffy toy.

Monaco Grand Prix, it’s one of their favorite circuits for a lot of pilots, Lewis isn’t the exception. My parents went with him from the first day I chose with Rosco to wait until race day, the best for the end. 

As always, Lewis arrived with Roscoe stealing glances, gasps and hearts of every person who crossed in his way.

We arrived 30 minutes before when all the drivers were already in the paddock getting ready.

Three hundredth behind Max, put Lewis in the second place of Monaco. It’s definitely a good race from him and all in the team knows it for the way they hug him and congratulate, our parents weren't the exception.

After the interview and ceremony finally the so expected encounter happened, Roscoe met Leo, full of energy and running one side to the other as Roscoe tried to follow his rhythm, pushing his ball to invite him to play.

The last photos set the end of the meeting. We split forLewis do what has to do and go to dinner with our parents. 

“Honey.” Dad grabs my arm. “Roscoe needs to go out.” He’s walking side to side sniffing. He needs to pee.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll take him. I reached you in the car.” Dad nods as I call for him to go outside.

As soon as he finished his task, Roscoe took his time to go back as walking around the green grass until we found Max, still race suit on, but he looked awfully tired, not the face of a winner.

I heard about the rumors about a few reporters misunderstanding, probably on purpose a few of Max's answers but I never imagined that kind of things affecting him.

Roscoe reads my mind as we walk closer to him and just sit next to him, not saying anything.

“A chocolate?” I extend a bar of chocolate I take from the hospitality. 

Max doubts and rejects it just turning away. “Are you mad or something?” 

He didn't answer, feeling Roscoe eyes on me I shake my head, signs that I tried but Max is definitely hard to read. I stand up reading to walk away, telling myself I never learn.

“It's supposed to be easier, nothing changes, new year, but it's the same how people twisted my words, I mean I expect that but, sometimes big races are covered for a stupid comments.” Max says out of the blue, still he isn't looking at me, he is just starting at the grass. “From time to time I feel tired, that's all. I can't have everything under control even if I try hard.”

“You can’t.” I take a deep breath. “I’m not trying to give you advice or anything like that, just…” One more time I sat next to him. “I know what it feels like a big day turns into shit. But you can control some things.” 

He bluffs but let me keep speaking. “You, how you react, what do you say and bloody hell, how you give a shit and enjoy your victories.”

I turn around and for the first time I see right to his eyes, a dazzling blue color with a soft touch of gray. 

“So, go, have fun, let the people keep speaking, it’s the best thing they ever do, but don’t let that screw your day, you don’t deserve that.” Max laugh softly. “You’re in your home after all, if you “don't get drunk”, I bet there are so many people here that need to be protected.” His face turns red and I smile at him, even Roscoe sits in front of him, looking for a pet in his head, which Max softly scratches a little bit.

My phone buzzes on my hand as I see the name and photo of Lewis on the screen, they probably are on their way to the car. 

“What?” Lewis scoffs but I know he’s smiling. 

“Bring my boy here, we’re leaving.” An expression of pain comes from him too, the sign of mom probably pinch him slightly.

“On my way boss.” I hung out and didn't even give him a chance to replay.

I stand shaking all the grass could be stuck to my jeans. “Let’s go boy, we need to go.”

Roscoe stands and waits for me to put his leash on, Max stands too. “Thanks.” 

I shake my head, it’s not a big deal, but I smile at him as we walk away but my conscience about, I know, maybe, just maybe I’ve been rude with him makes me wait.

“Am, hey Max, I don’t like ice cream but if you find something else, I gladly accept your invitation.” Max opened his mouth but nothing came out of it, making me giggle before finally going.

Roscoe and I found Rosa chatting with a few people from the Mercedes crew, she asked them for a minute and walked to us to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you, until the race right?” Barcelona is next but I have a few things to do in London and Newport. 

“Yes, you do.” She pets the head of Roscoe and kisses my cheek before leaving. 

As we cross the exit the few people who stay there unconnected to the teams start to leave too, Monaco GP is officially over.

“Y/N!” Max running to the entrances makes Roscoe barks. “Do you mean it?” 

I choke my head and bluff, of course I talk seriously in my speech. “The invitation, do you mean it?”

[apex-academy]

Chapter 4: Six Chambers, One Loaded (#11)

If Kanagi’s still on her dorayaki rampage, it’s not on the fourth floor. Thought I might find someone up here to play me, but it’s not looking promising. The list of possible opponents has shrunk a lot. 

Tamiko played a pretty good game.

“Can’t say I’m sorry she’s gone.”

Anyway. I keep looking. The east wing is empty, though someone’s got a load of laundry in. Library’s empty. No one’s in the hall, but...

“Is it... raining?”

Not like I haven’t heard traces of rain from time to time, but that thunder was awfully loud. What else could it be? I wouldn’t hear gongs from the music rooms all the way up here.

“...”

I move to the end of the hall and open the last door on the left. The sound of rain intensifies abruptly. Normally awash in “daylight,” Aidan’s study hall is only lit poorly from displays above and the controls below. The sweeping array of window-screens is darkness broken by the occasional lightning strike. The displays flicker, some kind of weather radar blooming with a fiery, pixelated mess of reds and pinks.

Hidden among the bells and whistles, Aki sits with her back to a computer console. She’s curled up staring at the rain. I linger a moment, but she doesn’t budge. Letting out a breath, I twist the door lock behind me. May be better not to be disturbed right now.

I step towards Aki quietly, but I cast a long enough shadow for her to notice. I think. She still doesn’t look up.

“...”

I sit down next to her.

“Need a little guidance?”

“........”

She shuffles a bit, but it’s not really towards or away from me. Another thunderclap shakes the room.

“Are you going to kill me?”

“What? Me?” 

Well, I can assume she’s not talking to the fake windows.

“Of course not. Why would I?”

“.......”

Her voice is so low I can hardly hear her over the rain.

“You’re next, right?”

“Next?”

“...”

“Aidan kills someone and dies, Tamiko kills someone and dies...”

“You’re next, right?”

I scoot a little closer, but she doesn’t react. Don’t know how she’d feel about physical contact. Won’t risk it, then.

Aidan and Tamiko, huh? Pretty much just one thing in common there. Mary Jane wasn’t on the list, but... Is that because that was an accident? Or...

Because those two are the ones she trusted. Who turned their backs to her walking away to their executions. And if the pattern continues, I’m next, huh?

“...”

“...”

“I’m not going to kill anyone. I’m definitely not going to kill you.”

“...”

“...”

A blinding flash of lightning swallows the windows, but she doesn’t flinch.

“It hurts, right?” 

“No one should be dead.”

“...”

“Yeah.”

“...”

“...”

She tried so hard to save both of them. I don’t know what to tell her. “Sorry, that’s just how it goes”? “All of that’s fine because I won’t let it happen again”? That’s bull. We’ve pretty much proven that. I can’t put everybody in their own nice little bubbles so no one ever gets hurt. And while I don’t think anyone else is a killer, that’s not something I can count on. Definitely not something to tell her to count on. I think she’s had enough hope shattered.

She murmurs something.

“What?”

“...It was supposed to be better now.”

“...”

She pulls her knees closer to her chest.

“I wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore, so everything was supposed to be fine.”

“Fine, fine, fine!”

“But no, everything is worse, so much worse, and how was I so fucking stupid?!”

“What?”

“You’re not stupid. I’m not sure what’s going on, just—Try to breathe? Can you do that?”

“Can’t do much of anything.”

I risk putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrinks but doesn’t flinch or shake me off.

“It’s all right. Just take one deep breath.”

“..........”

“Okay. You’re doing good.”

“...”

Her shoulders are still quaking, but her breathing is almost even again.

“...I h-hate this.”

“Yeah.”

“People try to be nice, but it’s just more of same.”

“ ‘Things will get better,’ ‘everything’s going to be okay’...”

“Everything’s not okay! Everything’s worse! It hasn’t gotten any better, it’s never been any better, and it’s never going to be!”

“Why does everyone keep—keep saying... Wh-why...”

“Why are they gone...”

“...........”

I can’t answer that. I can’t come up with any words. But I can’t possibly just leave her like that, so I pull her into a hug. She puts her arms limply over my shoulders.

What do I say? She doesn’t want to hear that it’s going to be okay, or that she’s not always going to feel like this. Maybe I just won’t say anything. She’s reacting to the hug. I won’t ask for more than that right now. Maybe she just needs to cry for a while.

The ongoing whoosh of rain, however fake, is soothing. The displays all around are too bright even out of the corner of my eye, but the door’s locked. I can keep my eyes closed.

I’m tired of this. I’m so tired...

After a while, Aki’s arms fall to her sides. I pull away. She stares down at her knees. Enough of that, then, I guess.

“...”

“Listen.”

“...”

“I won’t promise that everything is going to be okay, because you don’t want to hear it. No one can guarantee something like that, anyway.”

“But we will get out of here. That I can promise.”

“You have to judge for yourself if that’s worth working for.”

“But I know you can make it. It might be hard for you to think that, but it’s true.”

“And I'll make sure of it. We’re friends, right?”

“Probably...”

“So I will help you get there. Okay?”

“............”

“Okay...”

She wipes her face.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

I pat her shoulder.

“I know it’s rough, but we’re going to keep moving forward. That’s all we can do. But we can do it.”

“Mm.”

She gets to her feet, a bit wobbly, before staring out the “windows” again. She looks out at the rest of the room, takes a shuddering breath, and starts towards the door.

“Headed back to your room, or...?”

“I’m just... gonna take a nap, probably...”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

She fiddles with the door lock a while before getting the thing open. I hop to my feet.

“See you at supper, then.”

“Um... Okay. See you.”

With that, she wanders off. I stare at the doorway a while before slumping into the nearest chair.

Just trying to live in this place is exhausting. I can hardly blame her for breaking down crying in here. I just hope she’ll be okay.

Well, I’m doing my part. I’m sure Yuki and Mahavir are looking after her, too. 

We just have to keep it up.

[BACK] [NEXT]