#Your honor they are traumatized and brainwashed themselves into believing thos was correct

[a-dose-of-comatose]

Monstrous Things

(Early Extermination Comfort One Shot)

AO3 Link

“These monstrous things that we dream in our sleep are enough to strike fear into those who are weak, but we fight for our lives inside the minds of our own just waiting for the moment that we return home." — Monstrous Things by Picturesque

Full one shot below the cut.

One hundred and twenty. 

A piercing, high pitched screech tore through the air, drowning out the sounds of Hell surrounding it. “Mom!”

Lute pulled her sword from the Sinner’s body, allowing it to fall limp on the ground; a splatter of blood flinging across her boots as it did.

“Mom!” The voice sobbed as it crept from behind a dumpster, the small form throwing itself at the deceased. “Mommy! Wake up! Wake up!”

The tip of Lute’s sword clipped the ground, and the unmistakable sound of angelic steel echoed through the alleyway.

Terrified red eyes met the glowing ones on her mask as the little girl backed away, leaving a trail of her mother’s blood behind her. “No—“

Lute lifted her sword. 

“Please, please stop,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to die again! Please—“

Lute shut her eyes and allowed the steel to slice through the body in its way. 

One hundred and twenty one.

***

Lute sat up in her bed, a silent scream caught in her throat as she was violently ripped from her dream. 

It was a dream.

It was a dream.

It wasn’t a dream.

She had killed that little girl. Stared her in the eyes as she begged for her life and then took it anyways.

What had she done?

Who had she become?

She rolled to her side, the faint glow from her bedside alarm clock read ‘1:54’, meaning she managed about forty minutes of sleep. Tired enough from the Extermination to physically shut down, but never enough for her mind to do the same. 

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Her chest pounded as she chased down her breath, rising to her feet at the realization that she would not be returning to sleep anytime soon. Her feet landed on the cold marble flooring below her. One of the luxuries Heaven presented the lieutenant of the Exorcists with.

Luxuries that she didn’t deserve. 

It was easy to ignore when you didn’t think about it. Easy to ignore two months from now during the training off-season–but impossible to ignore while screams still rang in her ears, as she still had red sinner blood caked under her fingernails. 

She’d have to pitch gloves to be added to their uniforms.

Twelve years in and they were still ironing out all the kinks. 

The Extermination. 

An annual purge of Hell, where Lute, alongside her sisters-in-arms, went down with one goal. 

Kill.

They were to kill any, and every sinner that crossed their paths. Fathers, mothers, children, lovers, the timid, the wicked, the weak, the powerful. 

They earned damnation–and the Exorcists were to be their reckoning. 

So that is what Lute did.

Year after year.

And she paid for it in the darkest hours of the night, when her victim’s death cries haunted her dreams.

She averted her gaze from the bloody pile of clothing beside her hamper–she’d wash it later. There was no reason to stain her normal clothing while waiting to do laundry. That shade of red sent bile up her throat and a tightness in her chest. Lute pulled a black sweatshirt over her head and slipped on a pair of shoes before creeping out of her dormitory.

With as many soldiers as the Exorcists had, the halls were eerily quiet. Most of the girls could sleep for an easy twelve hours after an Extermination, Lute had begun to count on this so she could roam the grounds uninterrupted.

She cared about her subordinates, but it was easier to fight these demons alone.

She breathed in the cool night air once outside, and took a seat along the steps leading to their housing. 

“Hey, bitch.” 

“Commander–” She shot to her feet, hand raising in salute.

“Stand down, sheesh,” Adam let out a small scoff, “the fuck are you doing out this late anyways?”

Lute bit her cheek, looking for a believable enough excuse not to sound like a weakling. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Adrenaline got ‘ya?”

“Yes,” she sighed in relief, eager to take the bone that was thrown her way. “Yes, sir. Just amped from the day–”

“Well you look fucking exhausted, Lieutenant,” he decided, sitting himself down on the step below her. He leaned his back against the rail and let his head fall back. “I know I��am. Can never fucking sleep after this shit.”

“No?” she prompted, hoping he would spiral into one of his Heaven-famous tangents that would last hours. 

His voice was grating, he was improper, crude, and often downright annoying–but Adam had a certain charm that made it hard to stay mad at him, regardless of what he managed to fuck up, who he managed to piss off, or the lengths Lute would have to go to to fix it.

“Nah,” he confirmed, falling silent once more. 

They sat for a moment before Lute relented. “Me either.”

Her eyes scanned the sky before fixing her gaze on a pale blue dot in the cosmos. The place that used to be her home.

Earth. 

She had arrived in Heaven decades prior, but often found herself longing for how simple life used to be. 

Adam followed her gaze and blew a raspberry himself. “Extermination makes me miss it too–”

“No, sir.” She shook her head, tearing her gaze away. “It’s not that–”

“Well fuck then, it makes me miss it,” he interrupted. “This shit sucks.”

“You think so?”

He groaned, rubbing his eyes and dragging his hands down his cheeks. “Look, I’ve killed a lot of shit in my life, Lute. I lived for like–fuck I dunno–a gazillion years or some shit, but I did it because I had to.”

Without realizing it, Lute saw her hand creeping to rest on his shoulder, but she closed it into a fist and pulled it back before it had a chance to land. 

“Tell me I’m not terrible for feeling like that.” His eyes jolted up to meet hers. “Tell me it’s not fucking treason –”

“Adam.” She didn’t stop herself from making contact this time. “We do this because we have to,” she paused, “right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, sounding more like he was convincing himself rather than agreeing with Lute. “And hey, we’re the fucking good guys, right?”

She released a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in as she agreed. “Right.”

They both fell silent for a moment before she continued. “I hate it too–but I guess if Heaven is the one asking, it has to be right.” Her head fell back against the rail. “Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself.”

“I—“ he stuttered, “I talk to myself. Make goofy ass sound effects, pretend I’m in a video game. Bullshit like that, just to distract from the reality.”

“I count.” Lute chewed her cheek. “Like a fucked up version of counting sheep before bed. They’re just numbers. They’re not people.”

“How many today?”

She answered without a moment's hesitation. “One hundred and thirty-four.” 

“Hmm.” He stopped. “That’s kinda fucked, Lute.”

“We’re the good guys, right?”

He snorted. “Yeah. Yeah we are, and it’ll get easier eventually I guess.”

“It has to.”

“It will.” Adam nodded, jumping to his feet. “Alright, let’s go back to my place. If we can’t sleep might as well go watch a fucking movie or some shit.”

Lute silently weighed her options, and decided that hanging out with Adam could be a decent distraction, and since she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight anyways she might as well. 

Adam extended a hand down to her, with a smile, she took it and pulled herself up to stand. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, ‘Tits.” 

“Excuse me?”

His eyes dropped to her chest, where she was horrified to realize the 'V' cut of her sleep shirt hadn’t entirely exposed her boobs, but her cleavage was certainly on display. Worse, she hadn’t put on a bra when she left the dorms, meaning that her nipples were poking through the material.

“Oh my god!” she yelled, pulling her shirt back up and smacking her commander on the arm.

“Watch out, those things are lethal !” he chuckled, “Let’s go, Danger Tits.”

“Oh my god I swear to fuck if you call me that—“

“Chill Lute, fuck.” He draped an arm over her shoulder, leading her back towards presumably his room. “Spent the first hundred years of my life ass-naked. You act like I’ve never seen boobs before.”

“I think the issue is likely that you’ve seen too many, sir.” She knocked his arm off with a laugh.

He pursed his lips. “Haven’t seen yoursss.”

“In your dreams.”

“If I’m lucky.” 

***

Adam’s room was exactly what Lute imagined. Messy, covered in guitars, with dirty clothes scattered about. 

“‘Scue the mess.” He tripped over his own feet, rushing to clear the couch. “Been too busy to clean—what with the extermination and all.”

“Riiiight.” She nodded, carefully watching her step as she made her way across the living room. “Of course.”

He scoffed, “Like yours is much better!”

“It is,” she stated. “I keep a tight ship.”

“Not the only thing that’s tight— ouch! Hey! The fuck was that for?”

“Whoops?” She feigned innocence as he tossed the empty can back at her. “My hand must have slipped.”

“Pop a squat,” Adam flopped onto the couch, “Danger Tits.”

“Adam. I’m serious—“

“Whoops. Guess my tongue must have slipped,” he mocked.  

Of course he had a loveseat instead of a sofa.

Lute sat down in the unoccupied space, curling her feet beneath her as Adam began flipping through channels. 

“Thoughts on cooking channels?”

She shrugged. “Works for me.” 

They sat in silence, save for the chef on screen yelling at the show contestants. 

At some point, Adam’s head fell onto her shoulder.

She did nothing to move it.

His breathing slowed, and he melted further down until settling in her lap. 

He looked so peaceful when he slept. So unlike normal Adam. With no string of profanities, no ego-inflating comments or self praise, and certainly no name-calling.

With his messy ash brown hair facing every direction, he looked harmless. 

The blood under his nails said otherwise, though.

She ran her own fingers through his locks, gently working through the tangles as his breathing turned to snores. 

At some point, her eyes struggled to stay open too, as they lost the battle to sleep. Only this time?

She didn’t wake again until morning.