#Your final paragraph sums up everything to be honest

[tbr-agency]

End and Start of Journey

TIMELINE ⋯ February 2021

CHARACTERS ⋯ The Bloody Roses

AUTHOR'S NOTE/WARNINGS ⋯ Heartwarming. The Bloody Roses finally ended their contract with JYPE. Eunhee has news to tell the girls.

SUMMARY ⋯ Part of the journey is the end, for this journey with JYPE - not knowing that Eunhee had an announcement to make to the girls.

“Thank you girls for cooperating with us through the 3 years of being our bodyguard, being a part of the JYP family and management. We appreciate your hard work and we will continue supporting you in your future endeavours.”

The girls somehow had ended their longest meeting with JYPE. The meeting lasted for 4 hours, with them literally finding ways for the girls to extend their contract with them. Even if it’s just for a few months, they would take the girls back.

Eunhee immediately declined the offer after having a few talks with some of the Got7 members and even they said ‘no’ without any explanation.

Listening to the boys who had worked with them for 7 years, the girls eventually decline their offer.

JYPE was being very persistent, but somehow, Eunhee had other plans for the girls which they didn’t even know what the Ahn girl was planning.

Eventually, both sides have agreed not to renew the girls’ contract with Eunhee’s words.

The girls exited JYPE building, they went directly towards their own vehicles - with Ahrin, Eunhee, Haejin, Chaeun and Yeonji sharing a car together while Nara and Hyunji went off with their motorbikes.

“So, what’s your plan after this?”

“...Probably visit my family and stay there for a few weeks then get back to work I guess?”

“How about you, Nara?” The youngest asked her best friend who is tilting her head since she had no idea what to do.

They were finally free with no work to do, they could do anything.

“Probably meet up with Bambam for a while and rest, I guess?” Nara said in a questioning manner, with some of the girls nodding to her idea.

“I’m probably gonna see how my mother and siblings are doing. I still have unfinished business to do.” Yeonji muttered at the end, earning a pat on the back from the leader since she knew what Yeonji meant.

“I’m probably gonna help MMG with those unsettled cases. I have nothing to do anyways.” Chaeun shrugged, at the same time looking at her phone, seeing a picture of Jackson as her lockscreen.

Haejin saw Chaeun’s lockscreen, as it reminded her of Jaebeom. Haejin has her own plans but she was afraid of telling Jaebeom since she wanted to go back to work as a bouncer.

“How about you, Ahrin? What are your plans?” Chaeun questioned the oldest, who was on her phone. She looked up to see the girls basically staring at her with slight cheeky smirks, knowing she was texting Mark who was on the other side of the world.

“..I’m not sure, too. MMG hasn't reached out to me about our future plans, even Eunhee hasn’t told me about anything yet.”

The leader was right. Out of all the members, Eunhee was the busiest. She was the only member who would come home late while the others would reach home around 10 or 11.

What’s strange is that she had been meeting up with the executives of MMG, and all of them were people that the girls hasn’t even seen before - except for Ahrin and all the leader could say is that, they are the important people of the agency and some of them were linked to different type of law enforcement agencies.

“Speaking of Eunhee, where is she?” Yeonji commented, earning a few responses from them saying they do not know where the girl is.

A few minutes after patiently waiting in the meeting room of MMG building, the door opened to reveal the one they had mentioned about minutes ago - with her holding a few brown files.

“Ms Ahn!”

“Oo~ You look sexy~”

“Nara..”

“What? I was just complimenting her..”

Eunhee chuckled to see the girls being their usual selves.

Once she closed the meeting room, Eunhee’s expression grew serious and the other girls noticed her changed expression - making some of them sit up straight.

“What’s with the brown files? New cases?” Chaeun’s eyes turned towards the files that Eunhee quietly placed on the table. There were precisely 8 files on the table.

The atmosphere that was lively slowly turned tense. Without saying a word, Eunhee passed the files individually, from the oldest to the youngest.

She didn’t give any context at all, hence there were confused faces on the girls’ faces.

“..Are they sending us to do individual missions?” Haejin questioned first, eyes turned towards Eunhee who was leaning against the table with a small smile.

“If that’s what you want.” Eunhee muttered softly, and that made some of the girls frown.

To be honest, the girls love to work together rather than individually.

For all these years, they have been together, working on cases and solving them as if they were in a class. Yes, they had done individual undercover but in the end, all of them would gather to settle the task together as a team.

If MMG had plans for them to work individually, they would be sad.

The first one to open the file was Ahrin, eyes scanning what was inside the file like an eagle which her expression quickly shows mixed feelings. Without saying anything, the leader stood up as she went towards Eunhee.

Everyone’s attention somehow turned towards the leader.

Unexpectedly, Ahrin engulfed Eunhee into a big tight hug - earning a slight chuckle from Eunhee.

This made the other girls to quickly look at what was inside the file.

“This is a contract..” Chaeun muttered under her breath, looking at the end paragraph.

‘...Ms Eunhee would want you…’, ‘...join her own agency’ ‘….insurance provided….’ ‘..both MMG and Eunhee compromised…’ ‘...work together…’ That was what Yeonji sees in her eyes, and she can’t help but visibly had her mouth widened.

“Oh my god. Wait.. Does this mean you want us to join your agency?” Haejin questioned, with an amused smile as she looked up toward Eunhee who had Ahrin on her arms.

Eunhee nodded with a wide smile. “..If you signed the contract..”

“TBR Agency?! Hell yeah I’m signing the contract!” Nara commented, signing the paper enthusiastically then passing the pen towards Hyunji, the youngest too signed without any questions being asked.

Everything had been stated on the paper and they knew Eunhee wasn’t the type to sugar-coat stuff.

Eunhee’s eyes turned towards Chaeun, Haejin and Yeonji who were staring at the paper. They looked like they had second thoughts - which made Eunhee nervous.

“Why aren’t you signing?.. Don’t tell me you want to work solo..” Nara muttered, looking a little disappointed seeing the 3 girls’ changed expression.

“What? Solo? Are you crazy!? I was imagining how I am going to decorate my own table in Eunhee’s new agency building.. Geez..” Chaeun frowns while showing a pout, causing all the girls to look surprised.

Chaeun never pouts to them.

“Chaeun’s right. I was wondering if I can bring Vanilla to work with me!”

“And me probably bringing a glass of soju—

“Haejin!”

All the girls started to giggle after yelling out Haejin’s name in unison. All of them ended up signing the contract, even Ahrin at the end as she gets Eunhee to explain what she had spoken to MMG executives.

“To sum it up, MMG executives and I compromised after long discussions. I had this planned when we were back in Virginia. I didn’t tell anyone because I thought all of this would just be a dream, but I knew I wanted it to become reality. So I started slowly.” Eunhee let out her honest feelings. The girls listened to her with a small smile on their faces.

They knew this was her dream, somehow starting an agency in either a law firm or other enforcements.

The girls thought this is the right timing for her to start her own agency.

“We will probably move out of the main building in 3 months to our new building since it’s still under construction. I’ll show all of you the layout of the building.” Eunhee explained and the girls clapped their hands in happiness.

They were proud of Eunhee, to see where she had stood now.

“...So did you tell Jinyoung about this..?” Haejin wiggles her eyebrows, earning a slight chuckle from Chaeun seeing the older one looking cheeky.

“Nope. I planned it to be a surprise, and will probably tell him when I am satisfied with our progress. I still have so much to do.” Eunhee shakes her head, eyes looking elsewhere while letting out a sigh.

The girls knew she was struggling all alone.

“Look, I don’t know much about business and cooperation all that, but I am happy to help you as long as you tell us the steps.” Yeonji raised her hand, nodding slightly towards the others who too agreed with Yeonji’s words.

“..Yeonji’s right, Eunhee. You can’t handle it all alone. You need us to help you too.” Hyunji turned towards Eunhee with a slight pout, earning enthusiastic nods from Nara and Chaeun.

Eunhee’s expression slowly turned into a wide smile and without a word, she let out her arms. That’s when all the girls ran to her for a group hug.

“Group hug!” Nara shouted, and the 7 girls did a group hug together, it’s been awhile they did this - maybe because all of them were busy with their personal lives.

Once they let go of each other, each one of the girls personally congratulated Eunhee with individual hugs.

Chaeun’s eyes turned towards the brown file that was on Eunhee’s side. She was smart enough to know that the file didn't belong to Eunhee. She is the founder after all.

“.,..Whose file does that belong to?..” Chaeun gestured towards the file left on the table.

Everyone turned towards Eunhee who had a slight smirk on her face, knowing the girl had something up her sleeves, seeing the obvious widened smirk.

“..I was wondering if we should have made that ace member join our group.”

News of their departure is here!

The new member of The Bloody Roses!

masterlist : Got7 Bodyguard Au

[amphtaminedreams]

A/W 2020 Fashion Month & Top 20 Collections: Before Vogue Went Blank (Part 4)

Hi all,

Welcome to part 4! It’s gonna be a bit of a shorter one because I wasn’t sure if I could fit the last few collections into my part 3 since I also want to include a ranking of my favourite F/W20 shows. I have so many ideas for what I’d like my next few posts to be (there’ll probably be a bit of gap between them as I would like to try and get some fiction writing in too) and I need help and recommendations on one post in particular so I thought I’d open by explaining that if anyone would like to send me suggestions! The post is basically going to highlight the often under-appreciated personal style of PoC, and I’d also like to make sure I include all types of bodies and genders and ethnicities (other than white girls, as we get enough credit as it is, all a tall, skinny blonde woman has to do is wear some light wash jeans, heels and a blouse and high fashion Twitter are posting non-stop about how incredible her style is)! This can be a celebrity, a model, an influencer or even just one of your friends if you think they deserve some hype too! Obviously there’s only so many photos I can include but I will make sure to look at any suggestions, though of course I’m gonna be biased towards the grungier looks; I gave Dolls Kill a pass for a long time because I thought the brand had changed and become more responsible over the last few years but since Shoddy Lynn’s thoughtless Instagram post during the protests last month and then her lacklustre response video, I say fuck that “goth is white” bullshit, alternative black women are hot af. I’ll also make sure to include a list of my favourite black owned clothing lines I’ve seen people talking about on Twitter and Instagram so again, if you have any suggestions feel free to inbox me. Other than that, I have a couple of lookbooks planned and after, either a post about my favourite shows for style inspiration OR a lookbook depending on whether I have the clothes to do it already/can source a few things from Depop-Depp-I’ve made a commitment not to buy anything new for the next couple of months and I want to stick to that this time round! I’d also like to do a general collation of my favourite summer outfits, an almost scrapbook-y kinda post, and another post on some of my favourite fashion icons (I’ll probs end up repeating a lot of the women from the post I was talking about above but I’ll try and include different outfits to keep it varied!). 

Now, into the final part, and the top 20, starting with Tory Burch (I’m really pissed off because I added an unnecessary E in after the R and now Tumblr is once again being stupid and not saving any of my editing changes-also I said on the next post instead of in in the last paragraph and my anal-retentiveness is kicking into high gear). 

You’d think it’s a kinda anti-climatic one to open with but I do like this collection! It reminds me a bit of last season’s Miu Miu but more so of Brock’s general aesthetic, though with more layers and in some ways to its detriment, a lot more wearable. Looking like something from a bygone era is part of what gives Brock its mystique, but Burch’s designs are practically made for the Chelsea born and bred lifestyle blogger who dresses for a cold spell in the Coachella valley all year long and treats trawling Pimlico’s furniture shops and meeting their girlfriends for coffee like it’s a full-time job. She’s probably born into money and doesn’t work all that hard but hey, she looks angelic holding a bouquet of flowers and in 2020 we all low-key want her life, right? It’d go against my ethics but...*whispers* it would be nice to be that girl just for a couple of days. It is a gorgeous collection, with a lush colour palette and an ever graceful variety of prints and textures, and it toes the line of being accessible and being worthy of a fashion week spot with dexterity. 8/10 and it only loses marks because it’s safe for the brand.

When it comes to Valentino, they’re a pretty reliable favourite for me, and this season’s collection doesn’t break tradition; this one is slightly grittier than usual too which is a big win for me. Whilst the usual sophistication and delicate details are there, quirky embroidery, sequins and tulle, we also get a lot of leather and more black than usual, which I pray doesn’t a herald a return to people thinking “I only own black clothes and listen to Artic Monkeys” is a personality trait. I don’t know if it’s intentional, but there seems to be a lot of aquatically inspired pieces in this collection too; the 3d roses resemble scales to me (and are a really unique texture), and the way the tulle is placed kinda reminds me of fins and has a mermaid on land feel. It wouldn’t surprise me, since Valentino does tend to draw from nature quite a bit. Highs for me were the Valentino red tulle piece and the tulle pieces in general, of course with the embroidered florals as well which the basic bitch in me always looks forward to. The few lows were concentrated in the leopard print section, a print that for me is really overdone and reminds me of recent Dolce and Gabbana. It was cool when layered with the matching coat but I otherwise could’ve done without it.

Vera Wang is another one of my reliable faves-I think I like this collection even more than the last, it really is a fucking DREAM. The overly floral pieces I wasn’t too keen on but I’ll ignore that on the basis that as with Gucci, the tulle-harness combo is everything I look for in a dress and more. I know manic-pixie-dream-girl is a bit of a slur (not a slur slur but you know what I mean) in terms of the associated character, but this 90s Courtney Love grunge twist on that aesthetic is gold, fully realised big anarchist fairy energy (which is a screen name I’m surprised I don’t see more often and which I might now steal). These dresses were made for someone like Zoe Kravitz or FKA Twigs on the red carpet, and if god forbid I somehow ever ended up on one, I would go to the ends of the earth to be wearing one of the dresses from this collection. Aside from the dresses, I appreciated the moody doesn’t-want-to-be-at-the-family-function teenager inspired sleeves and the 2014 Tumblr Cruel Intentions style knee high socks. Love, love, LOVE it.

So, Versace started off strong with the all black looks-the cut outs were cute if impractical and the fit and flare trousers in particularly were really well fitted (from a distance, at least). I hated the film Red Sparrow but the visuals were very cool, and this section reminded me of that, like a high fashion collection based on Jennifer Lawrence’s character. There were some stunning colour combos in the Ashish like hyper-floral part too, and the houndstooth, marble and Versace tile prints were sick. The black jumper with the flowers on reminds me of a jumper of my nan’s I always wanted that my aunty ended up donating to a charity shop after she died not knowing I liked it. Gutted (not just about the jumper obviously, looool).

HOWEVER, as with many 91 look collections, it was sloppy at times. A lot of pieces I at first liked (I.E the silver dress we saw Kendall Jenner in, included above) are kind of unfinished up close. There was also a big varsity inspired section which was nice at times but got pretty repetitive and occasionally looked like it could pass for Jack Wills or a bad Michael Kors collection. On the whole, it had both its pros and its cons which puts it directly in the middle of the pack.

Victoria Beckham’s collection is near the lower-middle quartile when it comes to plotting the highs and lows of the F/20 collections. The pieces are pretty and accessible, I’d definitely wear them, but they’re predictable and mostly a rip-off of other brands who did something similar in a more interesting way. Though her collections are never really experimental, this one is particularly safe, and she and whoever helped design this season’s pieces were clearly avoiding the edges of the box like a child playing the floor is lava. It’s alright, and I hate coming towards the end of the post with negativity, but I have to be honest, and this just doesn’t really interest me beyond a “yeah, that’s nice” glance.

Vivienne Westwood, on the other hand, is always interesting whether I would actually wear it myself or not. Despite the mix and matchiness that is essential to the deconstructed look, which being the basic bitch I am I often struggle to see past, there were some gorgeous pieces and eurgh, I could really talk about that Bella Hadid look all day. The contrast between the exaggerated femininity of the waist cinchers against the androgyny of the less structured, oversized pieces is a really interesting one and the colour combinations work beautifully together. I also love the idea behind the collection, which is, in the words of Andreas Kronthaler about “rites of spring, and the good and the bad, and conflict, and the good prevailing over evil”. Ahhh, I hear you say. THAT’S what’s with the garlic necklace. Can I get another pat on the back for summing up this collection as “vampire slaying uniform” in my notes? I mean, that’s kind of a good vs. evil situation, isn’t it? I know it’s hard to ignore how hot vampires always are in TV series and movies but just think of the true forms of the ones off Penny Dreadful and remember THEY DRINK BLOOD (I personally think being a vampire would be really cool, just need to work out how to do it “ethically”).

Lastly, Zimmerman, and I really can’t say how happy I am to end on a positive note because this collection was stunning. Not without all the characteristically ornate, indulgent and painstakingly detailed efforts we’ve come to expect from Nicky and Simone Zimmerman, these looks (in an icy winter themed colour palette as well) are the offspring of a sophisticated flower child and a 70s glam rocker and I think with this sentence I’ve finally put my style aspirations into words. Honestly, give me the money to produce a modern day Almost Famous and I’ll make my character this no-nonsense intersectional feminist front woman of a fictional Haim-like band who sings with the voice of an angel but is rock and roll as fuck and eats men for breakfast and I’ll put her in this collection and (deep breath) it would be ICONIC. There. Got to the point eventually. Am I talking about a 2020s version of Steve Nicks? Possibly. After all, I do have a framed illustration of her on my wall. But regardless, I need those lace-up velvet BOOTS, that mesh dress with the celestial embroidery, the flame detail pieces, the white pussy bow blouse with the eyes on it. Everything is sooo dreamy; when I was looking through the collection for my favourites, I saved pretty much every. single. look. IT’S EVERYTHING I STRIVE TO BE. WHY CAN’T I AFFORD ZIMMERMAN GOD DAMN IT!?

See, I’ll be going on about Zimmerman in a couple of paragraphs again because it will be very high in my top 20, which I’m so glad is a top 20 BTW. I know I said it would be a top 10 in my last post because I thought that was how I structured it last time but I double checked and it is 20, which is a relief; once again, picking only 10 collections would be very hard. SO! Let’s get into it!

1. Gucci

I hate being predictable but Gucci once again holds the top spot for me. How could I not love this? I would say that I hope Alessandro Michele fucks up next season so I don’t come off as a boot licker but when the boots in question are platform Mary Janes and knee high socks and they’re underneath tulle with BDSM inspired harnesses on top...maybe boot sole doesn’t taste so bad after all.

2. Zimmerman

Well, I did say it wouldn’t be long until you were seeing the same outfits again, so at least you know my word is good.

3. Moschino

Wow, as if putting Gucci first again wasn’t bad enough, Moschino’s also a non-mover. But...Marie Antoinette this season and Picasso last? And this campy? It’s like Jeremy Scott reached into my brain magician-into-a-top-hat-style, picked out an interest of mine at random, and tried to communicate this to me through the medium of design with THE most chaotic energy humanly possible. I an only commend the man, because he succeeded, and I approve. It’s weird because before I always saw Jeremy Scott’s designs as tacky and yet I’ve loved all the collections I’ve reviewed, so I must ask...are the collections getting less tacky or am I getting more tacky? Much to think about.

4. Vera Wang

The battle armour of a punk princess. Not very good at protecting against knives, arrows, bullets or...anything really, but I’ve never really been the kind of person to get into physical fights (apart with a bouncer who tried to push me down the stairs once at an ABBA night but I was really drunk and she was mean, alright!?), so who cares? Nobody can make you do anything in dresses this pretty.

5. Lanvin

I’m a few years behind everyone else but I’m still on the Mad Men hype train and I don’t ever want to get off. All I wish is that Betty Draper had *SPOILERS* divorced Don’s detty arse earlier and rode off into the sunset in that white Bella Hadid coat with the red lip to match (or the checkered one above will do).

6. Etro

As long as she remains the queen of dreamy bohemian fashion, I’m not gonna do Etro dirty by putting her any lower than this ever again on the basis that she’s not conceptual enough which ashamedly is what I implied in my last ranking-yes, Etro is a she because just as most women deserve more from men, she is beautiful and deserves better than my previous disrespect! I said what I said. 

7. Dilara Findikoglu

I see your Thom Browne and your Commes Des Garcons and I raise you my “weird”-though-not-actually-that-weird-at-all-can-we-all-just-dress-like-this-on-a-day-to-day-basis-please? fave, Dilara.

8. Paco Rabanne

Battle armour that actually COULD protect you against knives, arrows, and bullets. Maybe. Well, you’d hope so anyway for the price.

9. Rodarte

Suddenly my phobia of spiders has evaporated. And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that these ones are diamond encrusted, what are you on about?

10. Alberta Ferretti

The colour combinations in this collection were stunning. Honestly. I just picked a really bad pic to illustrate that. Go read my first post to see (grifting 101: complete)!

11. Charlotte Knowles

I saw Bella Hadi wearing a Charlotte Knowles two piece, so I bought a Charlotte Knowles two piece. 

LMAOOO, I wish.

12. Balenciaga

It’s occurred to me a couple of posts too late now on the basis that Tumblr is being a dick and won’t go back and let me edit stuff, even little typos, but I’m now wondering if there’s a link between the climate change theming of the show and the exaggerated structures of the pieces? Ya know, the whole abundance is killing the planet line of thinking? I know analysis isn’t exactly on brand with these silly mini captions and that oversized and exaggerated proportions is one of Balenciaga’s running motifs anyway buuut just a thought I had! And sidenote: I do believe overconsumption is killing the planet! The way I phrased that made it seem like I’m a climate change denying dickhead! That I am not! Maybe if I shave my head, legally change my name to Steve, get a British flag tattoo on my bicep, and spend every waking moment in my nearest Spoons I’ll get there but it’s not on the agenda quite yet!

13. Christopher Kane

If fashionable robots took over the world, they’d raid Christopher Kane’s studio and fry us all with laser beams whilst wearing his dresses.

14. Fendi

Siri, play Vroom Vroom by Charli XCX.

15. Olivier Theyskens 

Mandarin collar. Mandarin collar. Mandarin collar. NEXT TIME I WILL REMEMBER WHAT THE PROPER NAME IS INSTEAD OF NEEDING TO GOOGLE IT AGAIN. Come on brain, you’re supposed to be good at this kinda thing, make it happen.

16. Elie Saab

Blair Waldorf’s wet dream. Add in some platform boots and chain jewellery and now it’s my wet dream too.

Because Chuck Bass is creepy as FUCK and maybe it’s because I watched Gossip Girl at the ripe old age (lol) of 21 and most people watch it as teenagers but I don’t know why YOU WERE ALL SO OBSESSED WITH HIM! He tries to sexually assault Jenny who is about 14 in the VERY FIRST EPISODE. I think I went off on a tangent here but it had to be said. You girls have no taste.

Don Draper was an absolute dog, but he was played by Jon Hamm, and he might be one of the finest men on the planet. What’s your excuse, Chuck and Blair enthusiasts?

17. Miu Miu

As someone who has probably been/met many a spoilt brat in her time, I appoint Miu Miu as the official sponsor of the Spoilt Brat™ aesthetic and yeah, that’s something I just made up but I’m on the money here. Imagine one of those “daddy, can you get me a pony?” types all grown up. Are you telling me you don’t picture her in Miu Miu? Because that sounds like a lie.

18. YSL

The war flashbacks I get of the Friends episode where Ross tries to get out of those leather trousers aside (I know it’s PVC her not leather but they have the same sheen, you can’t deny it), these outfits turn me into the irl version of the heart eyes emoji. It’s not like I think this is the best collection I’ve ever seen, YSL could def push the boat out a bit in terms of experimentation, but there aren’t many people who wouldn’t look hot as fuck in one of these pieces

19. Balmain

I didn’t like ALL of it, but the looks that I did like were amongst the ones that stuck out to me most when I was reflecting on the collections I’ve reviewed: the breast plates and silk capes and the scorpion detailing are real chef’s kiss moments.

20. Marques Almeida

Miss the collection that gave us this coat off the list? Never.

SO!

That is the end! Wow! I started saving the photos for this review back in late January/early February or whenever it was that the first fashion week began and now it’s mid-fucking July!? I don’t know if that speaks more to my incompetency or what a state the last few months have been. I’m not gonna write a super long ending paragraph because you’ve heard enough from me already and it’s 2:30am and I’m being hassled by Trump supporters on Twitter (literally just for stating that it’s a privilege to be able to pursue a career you truly have a passion for rather than having to be practical about finances first) anddddd I’ve got a closing shift tomorrow so I should probably log the fuck off and remove my clown makeup before it’s time to start my shift, lol!

Quick recommendation before I wrap this up, there was a really interesting debate on ITV literally a few hours ago on the Stephen Lawrence case that I thought I would recommend (they also showed the 1999 dramatic portrayal of events afterwards) about racism in England and whether or not much has changed since the murder. I didn’t catch the whole thing but from what I did see, there were some really strong points being made and I think it could be a good thing to sit and watch with your family members if you want to get talking about the Black Lives Matter movement and aren’t sure how to broach the topic. I bring it up because I feel like most middle-aged white people trust ITV so they’re less likely to turn their noses up (lol, I wish I was joking) at it and maybe go in with a more open mind. I’d like to keep the conversation about social issues going so if there’s anything you’d like me to get some information together on and make a post about-I read yesterday that there’d been arrests of THE PEOPLE PROTESTING the way Breonna Taylor’s death has been handled. No, not the police officers responsible for her death, the people simply pointing out that those police officers have done wrong. It’s a ridiculous situation and just shows how deeply embedded a police officer’s supposed right to kill and to use force is in upholding the American status quo. I wish I could end the post on better news, but let’s hope that next time I post, there is some, and as always thank you for reading til the end if you did get this far! I really don’t have all that many followers on here but do et me know if there’s anything I can reblog or share to help.

Lauren x

[masked-disciple]

19 through 25? :0

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Hmmmm.... Honestly, not that I can think of? I mean characters in my head sometimes walk up and inform me they’ve committed incest again, but that doesn’t usually make it to AO3. (Shoutout to Rhada for informing me of a whole lot of shit he did with Sisyphus, who is related to him in Mirrorverse on a fucking technicality, jfc. But also Rhada’s been committing incest by way of sleeping with Gordon, aka Minos’ son, since the bronze age so.) 

I mean, I probably overuse Toby quotes, but tbh I actually can’t think of something I overuse too much. Huh.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I’ve already done this a lot (I’m actually answering this last because I’m trying to think of my favourite here), and. Hmmm. Honestly, I’m gonna go with IKM Minos, because while I have rambled about him before, only in DMs, and I haven’t talked about IKM much yet.

The thing is, I know as much about him as y’all who follow the series do. He’s very quiet in my headspace, and only ever comes out when I sit down and write him. But he’s four things. Four things, completely at odds with each other, and yet completely in harmony. He’s a griffon, he’s a Spectre, he’s noble, he’s feral. And everything he is can be summed up in those four traits.

He’s a griffon, to start. Half cat, half bird. All the casual arrogance of cats, all the flock behaviour of a bird, all the loyalty, all the insistence to guard. That’s what griffons do. They guard. And that’s his fundamental beginning: he’s a griffon, once you strip everything else away from him.

On top of that, he’s a Spectre. He’s casually cruel and vicious, very traumatized (how, I don’t know, he won’t tell me), he’s a strategist, he prioritizes his own survival but looks out for the others in his division, and he’s very very choosy about who he trusts to not hurt him, who he trusts he won’t hurt on purpose.

Then, his demon star, Nobility. This comes from the Age of Myth. He’s at ease with humans, can interact well with them, can slip around their social etiquette with grace, despite being nothing like them. He’s a little bit chivalrous, has honour enough, tries not to get too messy, actually does have a moral compass of sorts.

Lastly, he’s feral. Wild. Untethered and unforgiving and free. This is the opposite of his demon star, yes. But it is what he is, and he has no issues stripping free of his fancy clothes and running naked through the mud with nothing but fur to cover him and howling at the moon as he rips through prey with his teeth. 

Seems contrary, and indeed, he’s a very contrary person. The real joy in how those go together.

A griffon Spectre means he’ll guard his division. He doesn’t need to love them to have no option but to guard and protect them. He’s the leader of the flock, and he’ll do what needs doing. He’s cruel, he’s responsible, and he does what he needs to. This ties in well with Nobility, his star, because he has enough of a moral compass to know when he has to sacrifice someone, and how to feel bad about it, while his Spectreness allows him to not feel as bad about it as he could.

Naturally, most of the time, he’s noble, a bit fussy and imperious, likes his poetry as a way of speaking. But the more he’s hurt, the angrier he is, the more upset he is, that stripes away into his feral nature. His nobility is a mask and a shield for his true nature: simply a wild griffon, untethered by any rules and unforgiving to any that meet him. I’ll explore this part a bit further later on as this is the part of him that Alba really falls in love with, but this is where his personality begins to really shine. That duality between his noble, imperious nature and his honest, wild self.

He’s a hard as fuck character to write. But oh, I love the results. 

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

As answered previously, I Have No Fucking Idea But Probably Anime.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

As also answered previously, yes, because I have no other choice if I want to see my damn rarepairs most of the time, and I enjoy doing so because I like most of my fics. 

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

I answered last time as Rose’s story, but I checked my spreadsheet for what I’d forgotten and gold star me, I forgot about one I really do want to talk about: the TLC version of Seanan McGuire’s Every Heart a Doorway as a long fic! Harry Potter AUs are out. Wayward Children AUs are in as fuck.

What I know is that Aiolos and Aiolia run a school like Eleanor does. It may be located not far from Sagiverse’s Saint Shion’s University, probably Academia Terrestria. Most of the cast is TLC, Golds and Spectres mostly. It follows the adventures of one young Sasha, kicked out of her world by Hades himself after going mostly all the way through the plot of TLC itself, as she deals with coming back without her brother - a possibility she’d already made peace with - but with him still in Sanctum Greece, out and committing mass murder - the part she isn’t cool with.

She walks in during the first few chapters to meet Aiolia just as Minos - from a high Nonsense, high Wicked world where everything is the theatre and the rules make you think it’s Logic and it’s not - bolts across the room, swings a grappling hook around the chandelier, and scales the wall in the nick of time before Pandora throws her trident at him. They’re roommates. Pandora’s from Prism, Kade’s world, as the Goblin Princess so she is understandably wanting Minos dead here.

Sasha blinks, immediately goes on the defensive because hello, two Spectres, but neither know who the hell she is. Lia takes her with him as he negotiates getting Minos into the tower room with Albafica, from the Moors where he and his dad fend off vampires with a strain of woody rose poison they put into their blood, and then puts Sasha in with Pandora, who helps her figure out that just because she knows all of these faces and names doesn’t make them the same people. (This is after watching her freak out over Minos and Alba sharing a room, because she watched them kill each other.)

And then like two weeks later Alone shows up, immediately throws himself at the Dragon Prince Rhadamanthys, who is sixteen and doesn’t know how to handle a small child without a tail and shares the attic with Aiacos, who lived in a world of fire and brimstone and light and wind, moderate Virtue, moderate Logic. Sasha freaks out, Pandora sits on her, and it is discovered not that long later that Alone brought Hades with him.

I have no idea what the plot is past that point. I figure I’ll be asking Zander or another system how I should best write Alone and Hades, which is a standard possession that I want to be thinly-veiled multiplicity, because really those two things are the damn same from where I’m standing and that would be cool.

I’ll write it when I’ve got a plot. Gah.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh abso-goddamn-lutely. I finally figured out how to show and not tell so much, and how to vaguely fix my biggest problem that I had forever: expanding individual threads so I didn’t rush everything. Now that I’ve figured out how to do that, I’m pretty sure I could redline for another writer struggling with the same thing. One of the bits of advice someone said that really fixed my writing was the idea of one, ‘always name at least two sensory details in every paragraph’, and two, ‘for the next six months never write ‘they saw that’ ‘they felt like’ ‘they wanted to’ etc etc, and find a way to say that without saying that, take no shortcuts and never say it outright’. Once you understand why they’re telling you to do that, you can go do it again and avoid the purple prose, but it teaches you how to expand things.

Instead of just going ‘he was sad’, if you can’t say that, then what ends up happening is that you quietly restate he was sad by referencing it in his every action. Body language. Tone of voice. Show don’t tell is advice that works great with examples. Take out every ‘they were’ ‘they saw’ ‘they felt’ and you have no choice but to show it without telling it. And it makes your writing so much stronger.

Another thing I learned was that a Mary Sue isn’t a level one character, they’re a level twenty in a level-three-recommended story. Their backstory is their plotline. This one I learned from Betsy Lee, with No Evil versus Brother Swan- specifically, Ozma Angeline. Look at her child form. Now look at her adult. Her adult is the perfect idea of an edgy Mary Sue. But it’s clear the moment you see her child form, that her every adornment was gained after she first appeared. She wasn’t born that way. Every mark she has is a part of her story. I first met Angel in NE, and I got to know her. Then I saw her in BS and I was like “is that fucking Angel???” and suddenly everything made sense. That’s a well-written character. Sure, we see fuckall of her arc, but that’s when I finally understood how to write a powerful character without making them a Mary Sue. Because nothing stands in the way of a Mary Sue, they never struggle. You set the Mary Sue as their endgame, twenty years after the series ends, and you’re golden.

The last thing I really learned that helped me so much owes itself to Seanan McGuire, of course the Toby books. Specifically: Luna Torquill. This is where I learned that allies become enemies offscreen if they want to, and how to give your side characters a true arc without ever giving them the spotlight. Toby characters don’t feel like they’re just waiting for Toby herself to check in with them. They go do their own stuff when she’s not there, and actively get more development offscreen without ever feeling out of character. Luna is the most obvious example, but Sylvester, Antigone, Tybalt, and Cass all do it too. Actually, the only one who didn’t was Connor and he died and I didn’t like him anyway. Luna really showed me how to bring my side characters to life, and in that understanding helped me really get how to write a character arc.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Sneaking in metaphors and foreshadowing and recurring motifs and parallels, and doing so accidentally because I’m just that good. /lh No really, I love having parallels and shit in my writing that make me look smarter than I am, because most all of them are accidental and I only notice after someone points it out. I look like a genius. I’m bullshitting it the entire way. But when I do actively do it, and it works out, I like it even more. I love hiding little things that reinforce the storyline and atmosphere and add a deeper meaning to my work.

Like, for example. In Aeternum, specifically As We Watch The Hourglass, Tsuko pointed out that the state of the boiler room perfectly represents Minos’ mental state. She’s fine, she’s fixing things, and then outside circumstances causes her to fall apart and Alba just attempts to patch it up enough that it’s vaguely safe enough to work with, but still very very fragile and prone to collapsing at any second. Add in that she’s an engineer and this is her specialty and biggest talent, and it seems like a super cool parallel to do, especially since I really like reflecting my characters in the world around them.

It was completely accidental. I wanted to show that her sadism that canon Minos has is in there, that she isn’t totally OOC and just hasn’t yet become more like her canon form (he’s more traumatized and has gone down a path she’s only inching onto at the moment), but I also wanted them to get a damn bath so Alba could bitch about his hair, while showing that Minos is actually surprisingly useful. In order to do that, I needed the boiler room, I needed to show her fragility, and then I needed to show what was underneath that. And then I needed the threat gone so they could do other shit. In order to make that realistic, I forced her to not panic about it even though she really wanted to, and Alba did a shoddy job because we gave him like an hour and he’s running on little food and less sleep. That was it, that was my entire thought process. And on the page, there’s symbolism that makes me look smart.

When I go to rewrite Aeternum, I’ll be showing more of their early relationship, so she actually is useless onscreen for a bit, so the scene has more oomph when surprise, she has talents after all. (Later those talents will prove very important, but I haven’t written that part yet and won’t for a while.)

So yeah. Accidental symbolism. I love doing that shit. 

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.9 (Election)

- At the school cafeteria (it seems to be used as the opening setting quite regularly), Claire is seen talking to and being friendly to everyone. This confuses Lizzie and Miranda because it is very out of character for Claire to be nice.

- Gordo tells them she’s actually running for class president, which explains everything. Larry is also running his own campaign to be president as well, by eating worms to secure people’s votes. Interesting strategy but that can’t be good for your health.

- They are worried about the possibility of either Claire or Larry becoming their class president and they wish someone ‘normal’ would run as well. Gordo comes up with an idea to nominate Lizzie for class president; Miranda seconds this. Lizzie is the embodiment of what a regular middle school student is like and I think it’s a great idea for her to run. Lizzie is on board and she announces that she will do it! Good luck Lizzie! *Even if I already know you lost.

Destined for Greatness

I love it when the actual cast members use actual pictures of them for flashback images of their fictional characters

- We cut to Lizzie having breakfast the next morning and her parents being thrilled with the idea of their daughter running for class president.

- B-plot, here we go *rolls eyes*: Matt has a new friend named Jasper and he’s his imaginary friend. I know that having an imaginary friend is normal for kids to have but Matt is taking it to a whole other level and he’s a bit too old to be having one.

- Gordo seems to have a crush on Claire. This piece of information completely slipped my mind since watching the show several years ago. Anyways, Lizzie is on the phone with her friends and she’s having some doubts about running against Claire. But her friends are supportive of her and are confident in her chances of winning.

Let the Campaigning Begin!

What a contrast!

- At school, we see signs posted all over the hallway and lockers as part of Lizzie’s campaign, all thanks to Miranda. Larry is still employing his worm-eating tactic whilst Claire is relying on her popularity as a cheerleader.

“Let me tell you something Claire witch-project!”, that’s a good comeback Lizzie!

- Claire and Kate approach Lizzie and they try to talk her down and let her know she’s not going to win the election because she isn’t popular like them. Lizzie doesn’t let this get to her and she gives Claire a piece of her mind saying that people at school want to see change and she’s going to help bring that. I love it when Lizzie grows a backbone and stands up for herself.

Veruca and the mathletes have Lizzie’s vote

- OMG! Veruca?! We finally get to see her; I actually thought I will only get to see her much later in the season. I remember really liking her character but we will see if my opinion about her stays the same as I continue watch her throughout the series.

- One of Lizzie’s campaign promises to the student body is to make frog slicing and dissections optional. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know this is an issue that can be brought up when campaigning for a middle school election since it’s an issue that is bigger than it seems but good on Lizzie. Using animals for the sake of science is a very controversial topic and as a former science student myself, my opinions on this is varied and dependent on the situation.

- Gordo is essentially acting as Lizzie’s campaign advisor by helping her write her speeches and suggesting various things she should do to win people over such as speaking foreign languages to students belonging to the foreign exchange club. And Miranda is in-charge of going around campus and handing out flyers to ask people to vote for Lizzie.

The Biggest Challenge: Winning Over the Drama Club

- It seems like things are going smooth for Lizzie and she actually feels like she has a good chance of winning. Now, if she is able to convince the drama groupies, whom are the second most popular group in school behind the cheerleaders to vote for her, she will definitely take this. 

- Lizzie gets excited about the idea of being able to ‘hang out’ with the drama club but she has forgotten about her promise to have lunch with the foreign exchange club. She even insinuated that they are not as cool as the drama groupies. Lizzie is starting to get a teeny bit obnoxious.

- Miranda is against Lizzie’s decision to ditch having lunch with the foreign exchange club because they made that appointment a day ago and they even brought in their signature dishes from their respective cultures. Gordo thinks the opposite; He believes that being seen talking to the drama club will give her more attention and therefore, more votes.

- I am so on Team Miranda on this one. Lizzie made a promise, there’s no backing out of one unless there’s a really good reason. Plus, those drama groupies look really unfriendly. Lizzie decides to listen to herself and Gordo. Bad move Lizzie!

B-Plot: I Simply Don’t Care!

A fun and classic end-of-episode water fight in the backyard of the Mcguire home

- I want to limit talking about Matt’s story-line on his relationship with his imaginary friend, Jasper to ONE paragraph. It’s just so unnecessary! But to sum it all up, Matt is only pretending to have an imaginary friend to get his parents to buy him things like video games to get him to play with his real friends. He gets caught by Jo and is then forced to wash an imaginary dog with a sponge. What a weird and unusual punishment. But at least we got a cool water fight at the end.

This Election Is Getting To Lizzie’s Head

- Lizzie is starting to act a little stuck-up around her friends. When Gordo brings her apple juice, she grimaced and complained how it was from concentrate and it wasn’t freshly squeezed. She even wants to start drinking coffee only because the drama club drinks it and she bosses Gordo around to serve and bring over her drinks. Miranda notices all of this and calls Lizzie out for acting like Claire to which she denies her bad behavior.

This is so cringe-y to watch back

- The show then kinda compacted Lizzie, Claire and Larry’s election speeches into a few seconds; Claire did a cheer and she accidentally knocks over Larry’s bowl of worms. All of this made Lizzie appeared even more ‘normal’. So, it seems like she’s a shoe-in to win.

- Miranda doesn’t seem too excited about it because Lizzie’s attitude has changed so much. She’s always blowing people off and she’s been spending less time with Miranda as well. Miranda also accuses Gordo for making Lizzie the way she is. Miranda is absolutely right to be upset with Lizzie but I think she shouldn’t put the blame on Gordo. Lizzie’s behavior is her own responsibility.

Lizzie the ‘monster’, dressed in a leather jacket and sporting shades.

- Gordo tries to voice his and Miranda’s concerns over to Lizzie but she’s still so stuck on only hanging out with the drama club.

And the winner is... featuring Sara Paxton

- It’s voting time and we get a mini montage of the students entering the voting booths to cast in their votes. We then arrive at the school assembly, where the official class president will be crowned.

Hey Sara Paxton from Aquamarine!

- The outgoing class president, played by Sara Paxton announces she’s really really really bummed to step down but she’s really really really excited to see who the new president is.

Larry won! And all he did was ate worms the whole entire time

- Claire and Lizzie both thought they had this in the bag. But turns out, Larry is announced as the newest class president. Both girls are simply stunned they lost the election and Lizzie suddenly realizes how bad a friend she’s been to Gordo and Miranda.

- At the cafe (Is that the Digital Bean?), Lizzie apologizes to her friends for acting like a jerk to them and she says she doesn’t blame them if they didn’t vote for her in the election, which to her surprise, they did actually vote for Lizzie. Gordo and Miranda accept her apology because after all, they are still best friends.

- Also, they are actually glad Larry won the election because someone other than a popular kid a school had finally won.

Overall thoughts

- The general consensus for this episode seems to be quite positive, especially the message that comes along with it. Lizzie let all of that attention and admiration get to her head and she became a stuck-up person because of that. She eventually realizes her poor behavior and makes amends to those affected by her behavior. This is a good lesson to take away but in my opinion, how she because this snooty person was a little over the top.

- I mean, she because this mean person after hanging out with the drama club, who albeit look a little unfriendly but I wish they had dive a little deeper into the the general personalities of the drama club members so that I am able to justify more as to how and why Lizzie’s character had changed all of a sudden. 

[killthebxy]

          this verse is based on the idea that Jon was brought back from the dead by the Night King, rather than Melisandre, and it was inspired by this fanart: CLICK. it is a mix of book and show canon, with some points of divergence from both. as it is my only verse where i explicitly write Jon as a villain/antagonist, a disclaimer is in order before anything else:

while not present in this background, the threads and plots within this verse may contain references or explicit mentions of topics such as violence and cruelty, murder and genocide, humiliation and degradation, manipulation and abuse --- among others of similar nature;

i am not my muse, which is unfortunate because i would love to be Jon Snow; out of jokes, though, mun =/= muse and i am the first one clearly stating that i do not condone and will try my best to never romanticize any of the topics mentioned above. this verse exists for creative writing purposes only, as it allows me to explore ideas and scenarios that i could never do in any of my other verses --- considering that Jon is inherently a good and kind character.

          with this taken care of, let us get started. in this verse, the mutiny still happened but it took place beyond the Wall rather than at Castle Black --- more precisely, at the weirwood grove where the brothers who keep the old gods say their vows. as all attention was captured by the mutiny unfolding, they failed to notice the approaching of wights and the Others, which non-surprisingly did not end well for them. only one of the mutineers managed to escaped among the chaos that ensued, climbing on a horse to return to the Watch with the news. while everyone else was immediately turned into wights, Jon’s corpse was brought back to the Night King --- who, recognizing him from the events at Hardhome (this point will always follow show canon, even in book-based threads, as it is relevant for this verse’s background that the NK is aware that Jon has the power to destroy Others with his sword), decided he would be of more use if he retained his awareness, rather than becoming a mindless wandering corpse. therefore, the NK himself turned Jon into an Other named Snow --- symbolism of the cold and eternal winter, but as well of the stigma of being bastard-born, which is Snow’s ultimate drive for action and the grudge he constantly upholds (as will be explored in the next paragraphs).

          appearance wise, Snow looks like Jon but with the typical Other traits: deathly pale skin, hair mostly changed to grey and white, piercing blue eyes, cold black hands. while not visible, he retains the scars resulting from the stab wounds during the mutiny. his usual attire consists of armor also similar to what the Others carry, but his is entirely black --- and he continues wearing his lord commander cloak, as symbol of the role that brought him to his current state of existence. personality wise, and as a quick sum-up, Snow is everything that Jon was not: he’s cunning and deceitful where Jon was honest and honorable, heartless where Jon was merciful, ambitious where Jon was humble, selfish and egotistical where Jon was selfless. whereas he is aware of his origins and retains all of his memories as a human, Snow refers to Jon as “the boy” and as though they are two entirely separate entities; and, whereas he often refers to Jon as stupid and naive and gullible, he’s fiercely protective of Jon’s memory and his main goal is, exactly, to bring revenge upon every single person who once wronged Jon and caused him to suffer one way or the other. the main object of his hatred is, non-surprisingly, the Night’s Watch.

          Ghost was also caught up in the mutiny and, after being reborn, Snow himself brought him back as an undead direwolf whom he named Life --- a word play on his previous name and his current nature, but also symbolism for the very thing Snow wishes to eradicate from this world. Life looks similar to Ghost in everything, except he’s got blue eyes, and he’s as loyal to Snow as Ghost was to Jon. further along this verse, and after that one mutineer brought the news to Castle Black, they sent ravens both to the Iron Throne and to Daenerys --- seeing as how a lord commander turned to the armies of the dead isn’t as simple to ignore anymore, given his knowledge about the Night’s Watch and the Wall and, thus, the capacity to strike in all the right spots to bring them over to the realm. realizing this, an expedition was organized like in the show’s s07 (but far better organized lbr), and Danerys herself brought her dragons beyond the Wall to either somehow retrieve “Jon” or be rid of him for good. in this verse, it was Snow who tossed the ice lance that resulted in Viserion’s death and, as reward for his actions, the NK also allowed him to be the one to bring the dragon back to life. Snow named him Noiresiv --- it’s Viserion spelled backwards, as symbolism for his turning from fire to ice. based on the events that i’ll describe next, Snow eventually becomes the undead dragon’s rider and the one to have him bring down the Wall. all of the facts concerning Viserion/Noiresiv are also part of @qeldliie‘s own verse and headcanons.

          as i mentioned above, Snow is extremely ambitious and power-hungry and, from the moment of his revival, he was not satisfied with simply acting under the NK’s orders --- he actually wanted that role for himself, and to become the supreme ruler of every living and undead being in Westeros (and eventually beyond). therefore, while overtly acting dutiful and obedient, Snow conspired at every step to overthrow the NK and eventually succeeded --- this event may be susceptible to changes according to threads and plots, but the default will follow ideas i have discussed with @cerbinwen. with this goal accomplished and the Wall destroyed, all that’s left is to bring the Long Night to the realms of men. based on what what i just mentioned, plus everything else above, it’s easy to see that Snow is thoroughly narcissistic and demands unconditional and unfailing worship --- to the point of referring to himself as God. he considers humans as infinitely inferior beings and has no love nor mercy to offer to them, though he may be open to keeping a few of them around --- either for recognizing some usefulness to them, or simply for his own amusement and sadism.

          Snow is as skilled with a sword in hand as Jon was, but he’s ruthless in combat and, therefore, very difficult to overcome. on the other hand, he’s considerably less agile than Jon, considering the weight of his armor and also his weapon of choice. because, obviously, an Other cannot wield Valyrian steel without risking to accidentally destroy himself at each move, Snow has discarded Longclaw and instead kept an ancient weapon he unearthed at Hardhome. i headcanon that it is similar to Pyramid Head’s Great Knife (CLICK) --- a huge, heavy, rusty sword that grates and shreds rather than actually slicing. its size makes it sluggish and relatively easy to dodge for somebody who’s fast --- though, if the blow is not stopped right at the start, then it becomes impossible to parry or block against. because the thing is huge and Snow isn’t exactly tall (as Jon wasn’t), he’s got the habit of simply dragging it after himself; which he does very casually and like it’s the most natural thing, often provoking that characteristic, nerve-wrecking noise as the blade grates over the ground. Snow is impervious to wounds made by any sort of common weapon, no matter how sharp or powerful, which also explains his choice of sword and how reckless he is in combat. as with all the Others, his only weaknesses are fire, Valyrian steel/dragonsteel, and dragonglass/obsidian. Snow is effectively a dead being, having no blood circulation and no beating heart. whereas it is unnecessary to him, he usually continues breathing out of habit. and, due to the death of his human nature, he’s incapable of feeling positive emotions for the most part --- he completely ignores the meaning of empathy or mercy, and the joy he feels is solely derived of twisted motives and actions. as a final curiosity, he’s actually thoroughly confused and/or entranced by anything that is innocent and chaste, such as a child’s toy for example --- as he has lost the capacity to understand anything of that nature, or its use and usefulness.

          ONE IMPORTANT FINAL NOTE: please be aware that Snow is a terrible, wretched creature in every aspect and he’s not to be approached lightly and much less disrespectfully. unless your muse is of similar power (e.g., a deity, a supernatural being), if you get to him with a cocky attitude, you will get stabbed right through the throat and that thread will be over as soon as it starts. as well, don’t expect to be able to “change him back” or make him “good” again --- it’s not going to happen. the only person who is able to make Snow feel a semblance of human emotions is Arya, considering she’s the only one who was ever unconditionally on Jon’s side. Snow actually is afraid of/very uncomfortable around Arya, and avoids her presence as much as he can --- because she’s the living memory that he once had a heart. towards persons like Ned or Robb, Snow is indifferent for the most part but also a bit ambiguous --- because, while they were dear to Jon, they didn’t actively go out of their way to stand up for him like Arya did. towards anyone who ever wronged Jon in any way (like Sansa or Catelyn), Snow will be downright hostile at the very least. Snow is inherently cruel, manipulative, vengeful, heartless --- and i will not tame him nor tone him down. so, if you ever want to plot/write anything in this verse, please always keep his nature in mind.

[nashvilletonihon]

An Overseas Love Affair (Or, How I Went From Miss To Mrs.)

This is a long overdue and much needed entry but school really hit me outta nowhere in April and hasn’t stopped. Everyone is just trying to make it to summer holiday at the end of this month which still feels like a million light years away. We haven’t had any vacation days since Golden Week and it’s the longest stretch without a random weekday off we’ve had since I arrived. (I think.)

My one year Japanniversary is coming up in August and I’ll have a totally separate post to sum up all that’s happened in the last year, but there is one major event that needs (and deserves) it’s own entry. 

I’ve thought long and hard about how to approach telling the story of my overseas marriage. (Yep, that’s right. I got married.) I had everything from a very detailed and third person point of view story, right down to a simple Q&A that was about as bare bones as you could get. But nothing seemed quite right...

So I decided on a simple recounting of the events that lead me up to March 22nd, 2019. (My  wedding day.) It may not be spectacular in any way, but to me, it’s the story of how I met my husband. Which is pretty spectacular in and of itself. Enjoy.

The first time I saw Jacob Goodwin Griswold I was sleep deprived, dehydrated, sweaty and exhausted. I was back in my suit sitting in a new hotel conference room in Kyoto City waiting for the next, of what seemed like a never-ending supply of workshops, to begin. I had no idea what I was doing in Japan and was 100% ready to call everything off and fly back home to the States. I missed my family, my cat, my friends and my boyfriend. I was depressed and anxious. As I was sitting there I noticed this guy over in the corner by the table set up for our Prefectural Adviser and Board of Education JET Coordinator. He didn’t particularly stand out in any way. He was tucked up behind the table and the wall, not really talking to anyone, more so observing than doing much else. I didn’t know why, but in that moment I knew I needed to talk to him. Eventually. 

I patiently sat through the mandatory information sessions, waiting for this mystery man in the corner to reveal himself when finally, after eternity, he got up and walked to the center of the room to give his presentation. I have to be honest when I say I don’t remember much about his workshop, which makes it seem unmemorable (which isn’t true!), but be reminded dear reader that I was incredibly jet-lagged and still trying to fully comprehend my new life in a foreign country. You could have had Garth Brooks up there singing and still wouldn’t remember much of it.

What I *do* remember though is the way he talked. Low and soft, with a lisp. That lisp was about the cutest thing I’d ever heard in my entire life and I hung on every word. I remember the way he pushed his glasses up his nose, his hands on his hips as he talked (like a football coach on the sideline). I remember the passion in his voice and the eagerness with which he spoke. He exuded confidence and energy, but it never came off as cocky or self-absorbed. Here was a man who genuinely loved teaching. I sat in rapt attention.

Then, it was over. 30 minutes seemed to fly by in the span of 5. There was another workshop but all I wanted now was the 10 minute break we were going to get afterward. That was going to be my chance...

Ah, I think it’s very important for me to pause just a moment and tell you, my lovely reader, that what I felt for Jacob upon first seeing him wasn’t exactly love. I left for Japan in a very committed and loving relationship, which I was already preparing to return home to in a year’s time. What I felt for Jacob was more of a...pull? As if a string was running out of the center of my chest and straight over to Jacob’s. I wanted to find out what that string meant...

So I did. During that 10 minute break, I went over to the head table to ‘‘casually chat with Leah’‘ and I also just-so-happened to introduce myself to Jacob who also just-so-happened to be nearby. I found out there was a dinner for everyone afterward and so I made a mental note to try and seat myself somewhere in his vicinity. So imagine my surprise (and secret delight) when he sat himself down right across from me later that evening at the restaurant. Dinner was filled with amazing food and drinks, laughter and good conversation. For the first time in 5 days I felt...normal. Jacob kept me in stitches as he ribbed my gullible new roommate and friend while I tried not to seem too eager to ask him questions about himself as I wanted to come off as cool and unassuming. (Which I really don’t think I managed to do but let’s pretend I did for the sake of my ego.) At one point during the meal, Jacob bet he could keep me in Japan more than a year. I scoffed and wished him good luck. I was out of there the moment my contract was finished. He calmly told me he had 8 months to change my mind and I secretly began to wonder if he would... With dinner finished and paid for, talks of heading to a karaoke bar began. A small part of me wanted to go, but the larger part of me was exhausted and knew I had to give my speech to the head of the Board of Education in the morning, so I politely declined amidst protests and peer pressure. I bid everyone goodnight and thought that would be the last time I would ever really see or interact with Jacob having NO idea what the future held.

Looking back I do wish I had ended up going. But maybe if I had things wouldn’t have happened the way they did...

I’ll fast forward a couple of weeks now to (you guessed it) another conference. This one was solely for us new AET’s to receive advice, support and criticism on the self-introductions we would be doing in another week or so once classes started again. Again, it was a lackluster day full of information and meeting like activities which didn’t do much in the way of making my eventual first class any less scary. I saw Jacob throughout the day and we talked during the breaks. We had lunch with another AET at a curry restaurant not far from the conference building and made plans with a handful of other AET’s (both new and seasoned) that night after closing remarks. I was already looking forward to it.

We ended up a hot wing place in the heart of downtown touristy Kyoto. Having had a few pregame drinks at the 7-11 across the street while we waited for our table meant that I was feeling free and uninhibited. So naturally I plunked myself down next to Jacob in a booth only meant for 4 people, 6 maximum, but was now housing almost 10. It was cozy in a way that only being surrounded by good people and being slightly tipsy can be. More drinks were ordered and I reveled in the ‘‘loud foreigner’‘ stereotype as we laughed and talked trash on the conference we had just come from when suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and a mouth close to my ear.

‘‘Do you ever do the small things for people and then wish they would do the same for you?’‘

Everything stopped. I whirled my head to the left and came face to face with searching brown eyes, inquisitive and imploring. No one, ever, in my entire life and asked me that before. It was a secret desire I had never divulged to anyone and yet here was this guy I had only known for a few weeks who had seemingly plucked it out of the ether. I sat there slack-jawed. How does one even reply to a statement like that aside from the one word answer of “Yes.”?

The rest of the night was a blur. After wings we all went to a karaoke bar next door. (It against my better judgement seeing as how it was a Thursday night and I had my first day of work the next morning and it turns out I had every reason to be worried.) Eventually it got to the point where myself and Julianne (the other Tango Prefectural AET) HAD to go. We were cutting it close already catching the last train in a city we didn’t know so Jacob walked us out, hailed a cab and gave us money for the fare to the station. I protested saying we would be fine but he insisted and I felt as if I needed to let him win this one. Julianne and I managed to make it out of the city but got stranded about a 30 minute drive from home at 11:30 PM at a small outdoor station with no attendant. With only one working phone between the both of us, and literally NO idea where we were, Julianne and I were up sh*t creek without a paddle. But guess who was frantically working with another AET on the other end trying to call a taxi company to get us home? Jacob.  It was the first (but not the last) time he would help me. (Clearly we made it back and lived to tell the tale. Humorously now...)

For the sake of the length of this entry, I’m going to condense the next few months into a paragraph or two. After that ill fated train station debacle, Jacob and I didn’t really talk much in the first couple of months I lived in Japan. I was too busy trying not to quit every single day and also work on a relationship that clearly wasn’t going anywhere. I would message him from time to time or see that he had text to check in on me. It was nice to know he was there, even if it was sporadically at first. August and September came and went. Then October hit me like a sack of bricks and after a series of personal life issues I was worse off mentally and emotionally than when I first arrived in Japan. It was at this point when Jacob and I started talking more frequently. At first it was the typical “getting to know you” type questions. Where’d you grow up? What’s your favorite food? Are a cat or a dog person? The usual. As time went on we began to delve deeper into who we were as people and it turns out we were a lot more alike than we cared to admit. That’s not to say we don’t have our differences though. (He likes pit bulls and mastiffs while I’m more of a teeny, tiny, snuggly cat person...) The similarities kept piling up and October finished in the blink of an eye. Suddenly I was staring down the barrel of November and the upcoming Skills Conference at the end of the month. At this point we were talking every single day and I found myself looking forward to our daily messages. It was about a week before the Skills Conference that it hit me...I was in love with him. 

The anticipation that had been building at the thought of seeing Jacob again was much more than one friend getting excited to see the other. It was something much deeper. And so, on the morning of November 30th, I boarded the train bound for Kyoto City and hoped my feelings weren’t one sided. (I had a sneaking suspicion they weren’t.) Not many people know this but Jacob and I share the same birthday. Yep. We were both born on November 30th exactly 8 years (and some hours) apart. It’s a strange little quirk not many couples can claim which I think is pretty dang cool. We had agreed that neither one of us was going to get the other a gift so of course I had to break the “no gifts” rule straight away. I arrived at the conference hall clutching the bag of cookies I had made the night before and sheepishly looking around the crowded auditorium for a head of curly hair. I noticed one of my other friends first and immediately went over to her. We began chatting and a few minutes into the conversation I noticed him. He was wearing a purple shirt and grey wool coat and he looked so cute. I frantically motioned him over and before I could even present the cookies he says “I got you something for your birthday.” while pulling out a fun sized candy bar from his pocket with the most satisfied and self-assured grin on his face. “I got you something too.” I replied, handing over the bag. “They’re homemade cookies.” The look on his face was priceless. I’ve never seen someone so crestfallen at receiving a birthday present before. 

Rachel: 1 Jacob: 0 

Now, before this particular conference, Jacob and I had made a bet. I bet him that he couldn’t go 24 hours without being mean to me. Up to that point, Jacob was notorious for making fun of anything and everything he could about me. From my overalls to my use of a weighted blanket. He didn’t care who was around or listening. He liked picking on me. So, the bet went like this: If he could be nice to be the entire day and won, he got a prize of his choosing. However, if he *couldn’t* be nice to me all day and I won, I got a prize of my choosing. This is important to the story because it will come into play later on in the narrative. 

Although I didn’t see Jacob much that day during actual conference hours, every time I *did* see him he would compliment some part of my outfit or personality. It was weird because I was so used to him being mean that it felt...unnatural. I was impressed by his determination to win. And he actually did really well. He even ran back across the street to pick up the scarf I had dropped on the way back from our lunch break. I was beginning to become genuinely worried I was going to lose...UNTIL we were taking the train to the city after the conference. I don’t remember what the exact comment was, I just know I was drunkenly talking about my ex when Jacob let loose a rather nasty aside that caused our mutual friend to drop his jaw and utter a rather surprised “Damn...” I could by the look on Jacob’s face he couldn’t believe he’d said it either. The regret and guilt were plainly written right across it. I had won.

Rachel: 2 Jacob: 0

The rest of the evening went by in a haze. There’s so much information I want to share with you, but this post is already bordering on needing a sequel so I’ll skip to the next good bit which is my trip down to Kyoto City in December. After the conference, Jacob and I began to seriously plan a visit for me down to the city. I had already made plans to spend the New Year’s holiday in Nara with my Japanese grandparents but I had days prior to that with nothing to do. So, I decided to cash in on my bet winnings. And what was that, you may be wondering? I told Jacob he had to take me to dinner before we went to see Wreck It Ralph 2. That’s right. I made him take me on a date. Which I happen to think is quite clever if I do say so myself. I’ll never forget how nervous I was to see him for the first time after our birthday. Whenever Jacob and I had been around each other before, there was always someone with us. This was the first time we would hanging out by ourselves and I wasn’t quite sure what to do...

I really needn’t have worried so much because it was the best week and a half of my life. We ended up watching Wreck It Ralph all in Japanese and I (in an impressive moment of bravery) made the first move when I snuggled in close halfway through the movie. My New Year’s Eve plans in Nara ended up being canceled due to an unfortunate death in the family, so Jacob and I made a spontaneous trip to Kobe where were went ice skating, walked down by the port and rang in 2019 by visiting our first shrine of the New Year. It felt as if I was living in a dream and I never wanted it to wake up from it.

But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. The end of the winter holiday was quickly approaching so I suggested Jacob come up to Tango for a few days before we both had to go back to our respective schools. He had never been to that area of Kyoto before so he quickly agreed and a day later we were on a train heading North. The first night we spent in Tango together I got a little too big for my britches and had more whiskey than I should have. After falling asleep while peeing, I apparently made an impassioned speech about wanting to have “little potato people” with him and staunchly decreed that we were going to get married. Jacob gently spoon fed me water and agreed. And that’s when I knew.

For you see, dear reader, in my experience, love tends to sneak in. It hardly ever kicks down the front door, but rather shimmies up the drain pipe and slides open a second story window before slowly lowering itself, soundlessly, into your domicile. I was 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, head over heels in love. But this love, was a different kind of love than any I had experienced before. It was a comforting love. An effortless love. A natural, make you feel good from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, kind of love. And it was all mine. 

Those who are closest to me will vouch for the fact that I NEVER wanted to get married or have children. The mere thought of marriage was an idea that gave me a queasy feeling in my tummy. (Don’t ask me what the thought of children did...) Yes, I had talked of marriage before with various long term and serious boyfriends in the past...but that was only because it seemed like the next logical step in the relationship. It wasn’t necessarily something I wanted so much as an unspoken agreement that it’s what came after you checked off a number of other boxes. That’s just how these things work. So of course when I slowly started to tell my nearest and dearest that I had met the man I was going to marry and we were, in fact, going to get married their responses ranged from genuine delight and happiness to downright disbelief and incredulity. My parents were obviously against it as they had never met Jacob before and had really only heard me seriously talking about him for about 2 months at that point. Their answer to Jacob’s question for approval was a firm and resounding ‘’NO.’’

I love my parents, and while we have our differences, I value their opinions and advice. But that’s exactly what it is. Opinions and advice. Jacob and I talked everything over after his conversation with my parents and decided that getting married was the best thing for US. We didn’t want to wait to make other people feel comfortable because it wasn’t about them. It never was. So, we decided to elope. Getting married in Japan was fairly easy all things considered. There was some paperwork involved which required a trip to the Consulate for some notarial services, a few witnesses who didn’t mind putting their information down on paper and on March 22nd, 2019 we screamed into the Minami-ku City Hall parking lot 10 minutes before they closed. Why the 22nd you ask? Well, in all honesty it was the only day both of us were off from work. The City Hall isn’t open on the weekends or holidays and if we didn’t go on the 22nd we had no idea how long we would have to wait. Neither one of us wanted to take the chance so we agreed the 22nd was best. The entire affair lasted about 25 minutes (thanks to the two kindly Japanese City Hall workers who stayed past closing time to help us fill out a form we forgot (and might have been more excited for us than we were)) and cost us roughly 300 yen for the marriage license.

And suddenly, I was Mrs. Griswold.

Was it the wedding of my dreams? Well, I’m not really sure because I never planned out a wedding for myself before. The furthest I ever got was putting a few photos of dresses I liked in a folder on my desktop marked ‘‘Maybe One Day’‘. Somehow though, the way Jacob and I did it was perfect and now I can’t imagine anything different. (He was in a suit for work and I wore my overalls. Fitting, right?) I was never one for fancy dresses or big events. Heck, we didn’t even have rings picked out but that didn’t matter to me because the most important thing was getting to spend the rest of my life with Jacob as his wife. Everything else was just...extra. 

I am so lucky to married to the most kind, genuine, caring, gentle, sweet, intelligent, passionate, funny and witty man. We have so many things in common but are still our own individuals. I married my best friend and my confidant. Everyday is a new adventure to journey off into with him. He’s my sidekick and I’m his. Four months of marriage have passed in blissful happiness. The hardest thing about our relationship at the moment is the distance between us, but even that is minuscule compared to strength of the love that we have. I could go on and on in great detail about Jacob, but the only way to truly know someone is to meet them. Our biggest goal right now is getting back to the States in order for both of us to meet one another’s respective families and friends. It’s a bit backwards, meeting after the fact, but neither Jacob nor I have ever really done things ‘’by the book’’. We hope to return for Christmas.  In the meantime, I am going to go ahead and wrap this post up. Enjoy some photos of us and feel free to ask questions about anything that seems unclear or that you might want additional information on. I’m an open book!

じゃあまた (See you!)

- レイチェル (Rachel)

The only way we could fit the entire fountain in the picture...

Yakiniku date with the most handsome man in the world. (Who never judges how many grilled meats I eat...)

Jacob was known at his former school as a very strong drinker...

Be still my heart. <3 

Enjoying the gardens of Okayama Castle.

A candid from a Ritsumeikan school trip that I love and is currently my LINE chat background. 

Y’ALL. His mother WILLINGLY gave me this photo and I’ve never been the same since. The shirt. The hair. The tiny patch of chin fuzz!! ‘Lil high school senior behbeh Jacob.

The poor guy’s curly hair fell victim to the humidity in Okayama...but that peach shaved ice certainly helped him forget all about it.

[sakuya123draws]

for the end of year meme: 1, 8, 10, 14, 20 !! Please and thank you!

OH MAH GOD IT’S LATE!!! (I am so sorry @nalufever I finally got around to answering asks and I’m starting with the most recent ones!! It’s appropriate as they are for the “End of the year” meme I reblogged!)

 Anyways, without further ado, let’s answer these lovely questions~! >w

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

A: Well, I guess that is the first thing to ask when jumping from one year to the other! ^_^ If I’m being honest the year started out really bad. Lots of family problems, stress from college and my horrible relationship was weighing me down and draining me of my energy. I never want to blame anything on anyone, but I was in a dysfunctional relationship with someone and I finally got out of it around April. It’s a long story, but I don’t feel like dwelling on that stuff. I’m stronger now! (I mean I “hope” so ^ ^;) I was happy that I got in the honours roll for my first year which gave me entry to showing my artwork to judges at the college I got to! It was an amazing experience and I made some cool friends along the way! It’s a small class, but we’re like a family. :D As for my actual family, I lost my grandma…She was an inspiration to me and even today I will always show my appreciation for my grandparents! Other than that, my family had gotten better and we can finally understand each other a bit more when it comes to communication which is always a plus!! :3 Even on here with Tumblr being who it is, I still have lots of friends that didn’t leave and I’m happy to see they are better from last year! In short, (cause you can see THIS is a paragraph xD) I think the year was wishy-washy! It was all over the place, but it made up for it at the end to be called “good”. ^v^

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

(I thought of him when I thought of the word fashion xD Don’t kill me, I LOVE Max

A: Even though my mom is a lady who lives by fashion, I can’t say I know the styles of 2018! ;w; I looked up a source (well you know Vogue and all that jazz :/) to base my opinion on. I only think this would be easier if I could say what I “loved”, but it’s a hate one so gotta be mean xD lol. I mean I never “hate” anything, so I’m gonna give it a shot. 

One thing I don’t like about fashion trends if I’m being frank is that it’s usually clothes on the runway. Many styles I see based on Vogue’s source are styles I can’t see the everyday person wearing. Personally, I wouldn’t wear half of those designs outside. That’s just me. My sense of style is a hybrid of my mom’s fashion she wears/sells, 80′s-90′s fashions and cutesy outfits. (that I think I’d look bad in ;w;) I’m gonna give a small bullet point list. (I know I always say small xD)

 Arty Impressions - This was the first one on the article I read. From what I can gather it’s fashion with famous works printed on it. (Artworks, for example, Andy Warhol’s, screenprints) I mean I can see the connection, but for me wearing something with a reproduced art piece is hard for me to personally wear. LIke it has to be done like how T-shirts have a design in the middle or small embellishments on it to make me wear it. The example I saw is fun and creative, but for me, I couldn’t see myself liking/wearing those pieces. It depends. 5/10? I guess xD

Plastic/see-through material - This honestly has been a reoccurring style that I have seen. It’s become more prominent now according to last year’s trends. I can’t stand the “see-through” look. I don’t know what it is, but it’s just too awkward to wear outside. LIke people will defend that you can wear what you want, but for ME and ME Only, I can’t wear those kinds of stuff. I would feel very scared/concerned with how I look. (Even to myself) If you don’t know what I am referring to, I mean like that umbrella looking material. (I’ve added the source in the paragraph above for this question! ^_^)

Geometric/Flannel Print - I can never see myself liking the flannel scene. For pyjamas, no problem! To wear outside, I can’t bring myself to do that. You can see me in an old sweater, but flannel I don’t think any of my friends have seen me in that xD I just can’t say it’s aesthetically pleasing to me. I have a problem liking this style. Maybe I will when I get older, but as I’m young and creative I see myself wearing clothes for the young generation! :P (my mom says that anyways xD lol) The clothes that make you feel like partying, even though you don’t go outside like me xD lol 

As much as I love talking about fashion, I think I would bore everyone with my opinions. xD (You’re definitely not here for these are you? xD If so, thank you) 

10. What song sums up this year for you?

A: I don’t have a definite answer, but I went through a lot of things. Many times I wanted to be in a dream world…Like to escape everything. All the pain and depression. I still feel that way, but in 2018 it was WAY worse. This song I originally heard in Silent Hill: Downpour (A GAME I LOVE ;w;) was a song I thought of when I see this question. I think it’s a great song! sad, but I’d recommend it. The singer’s voice is lovely. It invokes so many emotions in me ;w; (I’ll give a youtube link) 

Ed Harcourt - From Every Sphere

14. Favorite new TV show?

(I HAD to make it this guy >w

WARNING: HUGE ANSWER BELOW!

A: Well, as you may know, I don’t watch many shows anymore. I mostly play video games, but for the sake of this amazing question, I’ll say what anime(s) I did enjoy last year! I don’t think I’ve ever loved an anime as much as I love Gintama. It’s really funny because I originally “disliked” Gintama. It was a naive thing for the young me to have said at the time. I judged the show so harshly after seeing anime (IMO) being shat on with the usual themes and scenes I ALWAYS see. I began to give up on anime as a whole. My story starts when I was pissed at my brother telling me, “Gintama is amazing Tash, trust me you’ll regret hating it.” I answered with my normal response of, “ sure Ja, you ALWAYS say that. How will this be any different?” Maybe I shouldn’t have said that…Well, it’s too late now for present-day me. My brother showed me all the “humorous” parts first. (I honestly felt like he tricked me, but the show really starts that way xD) Anyways, we eventually watched a few episodes and I told him I didn’t understand the humour. (it’s honestly hard to get into if you’re not open-minded or don’t understand the comedy Sorachi uses) Until he decided to hit me with his ace, “The Shinsengumi Crisis Arc”. All I can say is, a different side of me was born. I started to see what a show could truly offer if it was done right, the way I wanted to see it. It’s hard to explain, but without Gintama’s sad/inspirational/happy/stupid/clever story writing/arcs I don’t think I would have ever gotten through 2018. I haven’t finished the episodes as of its recent update, but I really learned a lot from the show. I want to give a HUGE shoutout to Sorachi for writing this masterpiece and I would 10000% recommend it to ANYONE! It’s a show that changed my views on people’s situations and lives. I think all the arcs are amazingly written and so far I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of it! It really got me in the feels. I can honestly say that if you can’t feel after seeing an arc in Gintama, you haven’t felt. It’s that amazing! (Then AGAIN, it’s an opinion not everyone will sadly share xD) Also, I am really enjoying Bleach! I’m sad at how it ended in terms of what things happened and I honestly hope Kubo will be ok. I loved his episodes and the earliest ones really touched my heart like Gintama. He’s also really great at making me cry every episode! :P

(GOD SORRY FOR THE ESSAY AND STUPID STORY LINES xD I’m sorry I can’t add a RM for this b/c then everything under can’t be seen like the other answers ;w;) 

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

Well…YES! Many obsessions!! The real question is which is the one that I obsess over the most? Well I’ll put some bullet points to hopefully make it smaller xD

First of all, I don’t want to say it but I’ve taken a “liking” (what an understatement lol) to Gin Ichimaru from Bleach~! >////

I think everyone knows, but I have an obsession with cute/pink/pretty stuff. (Can it be called that?) I just LOVE pastel colours or pinks/blues/purples. Those kinds of soft colours you see in Hello Kitty toys or Fairy Kei/Kawaii merch (if I’m correct xD) I just have a HUGE soft spot for childhood stuff! I literally still act like a kid xD lol I don’t think I’ll be growing up anytime soon haha xD lol I just love to collect them! :) 

Vaporwave I guess has become a new obsession and old art styles of the past! I just can’t stop being in awe at those marble statues! The curvature and bodies are so magnificent! >w

So many different art styles that are brought to this world! :D This is the truth! I absolutely love most styles I see on here and whenever I encounter them! >w

Other than that, I don’t think I have any other obsessions I know about :P Sorry, I’m super boring xD That’s the art student life lol (only me guys xD dw)

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR MESSAGING ME AND SENDING THIS AMAZING ASK YOU AWESOME PERSON!!! @nalufever I am so happy to have gotten something from you and I hope you’ve had a great Christmas and Happy New Year, friend!! I hope you stay happy and healthy this year!! All the best to you! Thank so much once again for taking the time :)

If anyone else is interested, you can send me something as well~!

Take care from me and Happy New Years everyone!!!

Saku~!

[heloflor]

Little rant about Fluttershy in “Sounds of Silence”

So, I suppose by the time I finish writting this, some people will already air reviews about the episode, but I still wanna complain talk about this (especially considering that apparently some peope like my opinion ?). Watching the names shown at the beggining of the episode, apparently the person who made “Sounds of Silence” is a famous person who never wrote an MLP episode before. But, without sounding mean, you can feel it with the way that person wrote Fluttershy.

Note : this is just a personnal opinion and if you disagree with me it’s completely fine. Also I saw the episode before it aired on Discovery Family so it’s possible for me to be wrong about one or two details because it’s been a little while now.

So, to put it simple there are two things that bother me in the way Fluttershy was written :

First off, her fears. Now, I know Fluttershy is the most coward of the mane 6 but thing is, she truly grew over the last few years. And the thing is, she lived worse than what happens in this episode, making her fears rather odd. I mean :

- When she sees the shield at the beggining, she’s immediately terrified at the thought of the Niriks, while in the past she had to confront other creatures who seemed way more dangerous. Heck, in the finale, (Spoiler warning for the end of that paragraph !) she literally says that she would never call the other creatures “monsters” and she clearly wasn’t afraid of them so why would she be so afraid now ? (I insist on the “so” because her being scared isn’t that much of a surprise, it’s mostly how much she is that is weird)

- Her being so scared of going into the forest. I swear when I saw that I was like “Fluttershy, buddy, you went into the most random and dangerous forest in Equestria like a dozens of times, including one in season 1 in which you were alone and got attacked by a giant monster. And you once went back in it to find the CMCs. And your house is literally next to said-forest. So why are you so scared of the Kirins’ forest ? Because creatures way less scary and dangerous for you than that gigantic hydra may live in it ? Really ?”...I think this easily sums up my point.

- Her being so fearful of Autumn Blaze. Alright, I can agree, she has her reasons to be scared when fire is all around her, I give her that. However, considering Applejack tells her that there’s nothing to fear and considering that the Kirin went back to her original form, I’m kind of surprised about Fluttershy still looking nervous. But honestly I think this comes from two things : me spending the entire episode wondering why is Fluttershy so afraid of everything; and the fact that Fluttershy is implied to go to Chaosville (honestly why is it called “ville” when it’s just one house with just rocks and a mailman pony floating around) at least every two weeks (switching who hosts the tea party) and was shown to cool down a marshmallow by using a mini-volcano while being at the ceiling of the weirdest house she could find. So here I think it’s more of a personnal opinion : after seeing Fluttershy go through a lot of shit and having a god of Chaos as husbando best friend, it just feels weird to see her scared of everything like that.

Secondly, my biggest issue with the episode : her anger. Thing is, here, Fluttershy just randomly snaps, and it’s weird :

- The first moment she snaps, when Applejack isn’t listening to her about the shortcut, is actually understandable. Though, maybe it’s just me but I remember Fluttershy having more patience than that, with the only exception being her brother.

- But what bothers me the most is the second time, when they talk about what to do for the Kirins. Thing is, it just feels completely forced. Seriously, there are three other instances in which the two had a disagreement :

  -“Bats”, in which Fluttershy still had her strongly shy nature and didn’t raise her voice, though the others still listened to her. Also, to Applejack’s point of view, her entire farm was in danger so it’s no surprise to see her get so mad about it.

  - “Viva Las Pegasus”, in which it was again personnal for Applejack, considering her conflicts with the Flim Flam bros; and again Fluttershy didn’t have to raise her voice and all she did was going her way until Applejack actually accepts to listen to her (and then she goes full awesome sarcasm...Fluttershy is best pony !)

  - The comic book issue 48, the first one of the “Chaos Theory” arc with Accord. Now, this arc may be my least favorite of the “more than two books” stories but I will admit that I just love its premise, moslty because of Fluttershy and Applejack. In short, the mane...8? (mane 6 + Spike + Starlight) go to see an event about special stars appearing every 100 years or something but then Discord suddenly appears, starts doing shit, is called out by the group, goes away and then later on the group finds an eggs which turns into Accord, the total opposite of Discord (and I swear Accord may say he has all of Discord’s memories but he clearly doesn’t share his emotions because most of the time he talks to Twilight, who Discord seems to still despise, and he barely interacts with Fluttershy while acting like he simply doesn’t care about her !). But thing is, in this first book, Applejack is the first one to get mad at Discord, and seconds later Fluttershy comes and defends him. Then, when he’s gone, Fluttershy is still shown to try convicing random people that Discord is a good person, only to have Applejack criticizing him. And once Accord appears, Applejack is the happiest while Fluttershy looks heartbroken when she says his name (the pic of her when she says “Accord, huh ?...okay...”). So again, there’s a conflict between Fluttershy and Applejack without having Fluttershy shouting (and then (spoilers) the conflict is sadly forgotten for the rest of the book until just one of the last pages when we see both mares interact with Discord on pics next to each other, probably made to do the parallel between them) 

But suddenly, we have Fluttershy getting mad extremely easy just for the sake of having the two argue so the Kirins can try putting them in the Stream of Silence...I mean, sure, she’s worried about the animals in the forest, but that’s not a reason for her of all ponies to suddenly shout, especially after going on other missions that always made the group think of alternative solutions. And speaking of this, one last thing that annoys me in this scene is that, to be honest, I really though that when Applejack gets back, she would have found Fluttershy silent like the kirins; and that makes me think that, because of her getting so mad about how the kirins needs to stay silent, having Fluttershy be so scared of ending up in the Stream kind of makes her look like a hypocrite because she’s afraid of living in silence but at the same time claims that another species as sentient as her should.

So here’s my little rant about how best pony wasn’t being best pony. Though, on a lighter note, I still enjoyed the episode. The kirins have a great design and Autumn Blaze is a really great addition to the cast and I really hope we will see her again someday ! Seriously, she’s like Pinkie Pie but with a more “nowadays’ young adults” voice (I swear the moment the she talks about Phantom of the Opera, her tone of voice makes me think of young adult with expressions like “freaking half mask” or “another dude”; by the way because of that I can’t help laughing because her voice sounds so natural and yet she says stuff that sounds so weird in a supposed kid show !). Also, Applejack felt in character in this episode and, probably thanks to that, I’m glad most of the focus was on her. Also, although it wasn’t made in the best way, when you think of it, it’s the first map mission in which Fluttershy is the one in the wrong or who only helps a little in the problem (in season 5, she was the one who learnt thanks to the animals and Twilight only helped getting people’s attention; and in season 6, again, animals told her what was happening and she knew that she needed the bro’s help), so it’s interesting to have that little change. And lastly, about the episode, let’s not forget the song, probably my favorite of the season...although when you have like 6 songs in a season, it’s rather easy to pick one...  

[violetsystems]

#personal

I finally wrapped up most of the damage from 2020.  Among all the pain and suffering I had to deal with from all sides, the financials were the most ambiguous.  I read all these thinks pieces about the lasting damage it has done to the American economy.  And then there’s the situations I find myself in that I am left to embrace alone.  The reality is that most people seem to think there’s nothing wrong with me.  Kind of like when I go to the dentist year after year and nobody ever says anything about fixing a crooked tooth.  They floss around it.   I feel them flossing around it.   I apparently wear the defects so well that they become me.  Whatever chunk was taken out of my life still keeps biting.  There are no shortage of victims in this day and age.  I’ve often had to read into the fact that nobody wants me to identify that way.  For some reason based on what people think they know about me there’s a judgement placed without my knowing it’s due process.  I’m laughably somewhere in the middle of everything through survival.  Getting into arguments online or in the street to prove points for yourself is a losing battle.  I have to realize the mindfuck of it all either way.  I’m constantly playing damage control in a world that shoots itself in the foot to feel alive.  If I look back at how long I’ve survived on this planet, I can admit to myself I’ve seen worse outcomes.  To think a year ago, I was in a stable job with a stable amount of debt I couldn’t quite escape the gravity from.  It was always me alone grinding to try and do that.  And to this day how many ever stories you’ve heard about me across the world don’t really pay the bills or encourage people to treat me like a human being.  I deal with people following me around and trying to communicate in ways I never consented to daily.  Everybody’s vampiric instinct for some sort of intelligent connection is at my footstep every ten feet when I go out for groceries.  People overstep the boundaries so much I’ve had to rewrite them for myself for protection.  Now I’m boxed into cheap rent with no guarantees and everybody’s opinion about me on eleven.  It’s the type of shit that would make anyone go nuts.  Let alone everyone struggling for pieces of your power so they can have the upper hand in terms of social dominance.  I get it.  Almost too much.  I live in a city where egos flare up every day.  There’s no shortage of people spray painting gang symbols in pink all over my alley because somebody made the mistake of getting it fucking twisted.  I have to walk through that aftermath and know it all.  That everything I say or do is watched, taken out of context, manipulated to start shit because somebody feels some type of way about shit they do not know the repercussions of.  People get shot in my city every day.  I walk alone.  Sometimes I take the bus when somebody is up in my face with something to prove on an abandoned street.  My imperfections of which there are many aren’t ever going to save me.  My brain does.  And of the most sexy things in this world beyond my greying hair, my coffee stained imperfect dentistry or my pockmarked skin, I am human too.  I live in a country where everyone envy’s the ability to speak freely without being taken to the stake for it.  That’s always been a lie.  I live that lie and dodge it every day.  And there are no real door prizes for second place in that battle except dwindling health care benefits and a lump sum pension.

On the other hand, through all this I continue to make magic happen.  I’m sure people can romanticize how it feels.  There are times when it feels like I’m worth it.  Everybody wants to roast you out here to feel better about themselves.  I’d rather have girls show off their makeup tutorials in safety around me than deal with your petty online hierarchies.  And this is what happens on a very hyperlocal level.  People out here know what I’m about for better or for worse.  It’s called the internet.  People all over the world seem to have an opinion about what makes me tick after I’ve spent over three years writing my heart and soul in three paragraphs on the internet.  And yet I’m still the enemy.  I’m still someone you don’t quite trust.  Someone you more than often throw under the bus because I can take it.  Or there’s something I haven’t been through yet that makes me less threatening.  To break me first so you can control me.  And yet here I am out here with the remote control to my own life boarded into a fiscal cage.  I’ve gone from worrying about money to worrying about when to switch to single payer healthcare.  I’ve gone from holding down the fort to wanting to pack up my cat and  leave completely.  And I will have nothing holding me back.  No hurt feelings.  No vampiric lust for revenge or closure.  No desire to be understood or seen.  People abuse me every day in public and online as their own personal punching bag because they don’t have the strength or the will to practice on the real enemy.  The same enemy I’ve been fighting up close and persona for years.  Does this make me a beast?  Yes.  It makes me far more powerful than anybody would ever know.  And yet I know the reality.  I’ve lived it in my own city for years.  People do not want people to be strong without some sort of failsafe device.  Some secret way to cancel their mutant powers.  Some word or phrase to break them when they fear the freedom and power running through their veins.  Most of the time when that happens I’m paying my bills on time while holding back endless waves of childhood trauma living and growing up weak, smart, and awkward in America.  And here I am still awkwardly unaccepted unless I submit.  Unless I show some sort of weakness I haven’t already conquered.  I’m defective just like you.  But somehow it’s inconvenient for you to approach the reasons you can’t see that.  You’d rather lump me in with everyone else and throw your shot.  You take the hail mary play I’ve seen time and time again from people who secretly are uncomfortable with me winning.  You try to make your bluff at the poken table and I have the winning hand.  Soon I just realize it’s not worth my time playing.  I find another table to saunter off to that doesn’t reward on house rules.  And here I am out here again winning in spite of all the shit you people constantly talk on your secret club house forums.  You might even take away bits and pieces of my own arguments over the years and use them against me.  And where do you end up?  In the same pitiful and tired argument over and over again.  Nobody is going to lift you up from the graves being built around you other than you.  This is what I have learned and have to process every day.  The last eleven months have been barren at best.  And yet I have no hope of it getting any better.  I’m hurt,  A pain that I’ve been able to manage by removing myself from culture that pokes and prods the scars.  Like they’re doing you a favor while they watch you sink.  Throwing rocks at the body floating down the river.  Me playing dead long enough to run away.

If you want me to be honest, it pisses me off how worthless it is to argue anymore.  To jump into this week’s political thought piece.  To argue what a bunch of rich people vote on and why.  To feel like you are part of any sort of people’s revolution that literally plays a ranking game in terms of suffering.  America is good at valuing things.  We take it to the extreme and drown everyone out in the process.  The whole world is learning from us.  And yet America and Americans are a diverse bunch.  About the only thing I can tell you about America that is working right now is the IRS.  That and my bank investigating just how many times I’ve been a target of fraud..  You’d think after all these words typed out into the internet that someone would realize I’m just as much of a victim as some people.  Maybe not in the same way.  But people would rather nitpick and point the finger to divert the attention from themselves.  And the eye of fucking Sauron is always on me.  Not you.  You do not understand the weight of that statement that I live with everyday.  Everyone has a fucking problem with me now.  I have to walk through that brutal street catwalk every day in a city that would rather shoot you than discuss it’s feeling about the situation.  And yet I’m supposed to feel sorry for everyone first.  I’m supposed to watch my tongue for the secret internet and cultural police that control who wins and who loses.  Did I forget to mention I live in America?  The country everyone lauds as being the freest place in the universe.  I’ll give you a hint.  It is.  I fucking live it.  I talk and write about it too.  And my voice is heard around the fucking planet without anybody having the least respect for how it plays out in my life.  I could have died many times over because somebody had to use my life to prove a point.  And it’s collapsed into a void in which I am trapped while everyone continues to throw stones.  Everyone except the people I love.  And the people that love me back.  I’m being real with you.  I stick my neck out every waking moment to live the life I believe is real.  And there are no guarantees.  No expectations.  No hope or clearly worded rules or communication on how to progress.  And week after week. Tooth after chipped and crooked tooth I speak my mind.  I walk with accountability while people stare at the fucking ground.  I live in a loneliness so deep and intense that ghosts still speak volumes.  Things will never be forgotten no matter how silent I become.  And yet people talk over it like I’m already dead.  They stop at nothing to invade my life and defile every chance for me to not fade away.  What in these three paragraphs to you defines me as the enemy?  Because I have more power to make my dreams come true?  Do you want to put yourself into the hell of walking in my shoes?  Do you want to wander these streets without a weapon other than your kindness and patience?  Do you lie awake at night thinking you will die alone without anyone having the reading comprehension to know what it is you are going through.  I will answer this for you.  No you don’t.  Because you will see the exact hell that I know very well.  No one saves you in this life but you.  No one will pick you up out of the hole other than you.  Nobody will tell you when you look in the mirror alone that you are beautiful other than you.  To live with that knowledge and to take it out on other people is fucked.  To judge other people you don’t even know who exhaust themselves to explain is a losing battle for attention.  You should already know the simple fucking answer.  Because I’m worth it.  And I’m sick of beating myself up for people who think they are the only ones in pain.  I’m dying here.  Mostly from lack of open space and personal freedoms.  Sounds like any other country you know other than America.  Home of the free.  I’m going to go exercise my freedoms on these weights.  Because gravity holds pity on noone.  And it’s easier to fall than to rise.  That takes works regardless of how you were born into this world.  Let’s stop fighting each other and pay more attention to the planet.  You’ve already caused enough damage biting off more than you can chew. <3 Tim

[outroshooky]

Questions Tag!

Tagged by @tendershepherd (Danke Shep!)

Tagging: @a-heart-full-of-javert, @vankoya, @joonbird (If y’all’ve already been tagged or want to skip this, go for it)

1. Nicknames: Written, Seagull, Scuttle, Yun Mango Dango, Moon Yong (thanks @lolnxcole)

2. Gender: Female

3. Zodiac: Aries

4. Height: 5′5″

5. Age: 16

6. Time: 2:55pm (EST)

7. Favorite Bands/Solo Artists: Oh boy, there are a lot of these. Favorite bands would have to be Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, BTS, CHRVCHES, Imagine Dragons, Caravan Palace, Monstercat (technically a record company, but oh well), and twenty one pilots. Favorite solo artists would have to be blackbear, Agust D, Troye Sivan, Tristam, Muzzy, Dion Timmer, Conro, Grant, WRLD, San Holo, Karma Fields, Rameses B, KSHMR, TheFatRat, Alan Walker, Galantis, Avicii, Zedd, Loote... virtually anything electronic.

8. Song Stuck in my head: Where Did You Come From by BTS.

9. Last movie I saw: Pretty In Pink about a month ago... It wasn't a voluntary decision.

10. Last thing I googled: "BTS love and support memes" for love and support.

11. Other blogs: Nada.

12. Why I chose my username: I'm a very indecisive writer, and I erase and rewrite constantly before working out a final product. I originally selected the blog name "writtenthenerased", but mistyped it as "writtenthanerased" in a text to a friend. I didn't catch the typo until he asked me to clarify between two meanings, one of which was "Do you mean it as in 'I'd rather be written than erased'?" I thought it personally fit me rather well, and I selected writtenthanerased as my blog name.

13. Following: Twenty-eight blogs over a wide variety of topics: yourdaily, interior design, self-help, writing tips, best friends' blogs, art tips, and Bangtan writers.

14. Average amount of sleep: Either five hours, nine, or none at all. I'm a high school student, so I really don't have the concept of a sleep schedule.

15. Lucky Number: 7!

16. What am I wearing: An oversized high school band sweatshirt, a gray Monstercat Uncaged t-shirt and pajama pants.

17. Dream job: Airline pilot, professional procrastinator.

18. Dream trip: Since I've already gone on my dream Europe trip, I'm currently in the works with a friend about a Southeast Asia trip to Japan and South Korea. Owl cafés? Owl cafés.

19. Favorite Food: My grandmother's pasta, which is utterly heavenly, or strawberry bubble tea.

20. Play an instrument: Clarinet, handbells, piano.

21. Favorite song (right now): I can't pick just one, sadly: Airplane Part 2 and Fake Love by BTS, Your Side Of The Bed by Loote, Wanderlust by blackbear, Questions by Tristam, an Airplane Part 2/Havana mashup, and a Monster/Save Me mashup on YouTube.

22. Play(ed) any sport: I played softball for two years before being hit in the head and realizing that catching things wasn't my calling. I have, though, played tennis for nine or ten years and counting.

23. Hair color: Dirty blonde.

24. Eye color: Namely green, although it changes to a more bluish or brownish shade depending on the light.

25. Languages you speak/are learning: I speak English and some various German profanities. I'm currently in year two of four of my high school Latin education. Yeet cum fiducia! (Side note, I'm not responsible for whatever links come up when you input that phrase into Google)

26. Random fact: So this is going to sound really freaking weird, but I'm actually a student pilot! I've been flying since I was thirteen (yes, here in the United States, it is legal to fly a single-engine plane before you can drive a car. Lovely lawmaking, isn't it?) and have nearly enough hours to apply for my private pilot’s license (a minimum of forty). As I just turned sixteen two months ago, over the summer I will be going to a flight camp for three weeks, upon which I will take my first solo flight! I'm looking to pursue this in college and obtain a Bachelor's in Aeronautical Science; from there I'll hop into the airlines and hopefully start working my way up from there. I've always been passionate about aviation, and I'm an air show junkie who's been to shows and air tattoos in numerous states and countries. It's a weird hobby for a sixteen year old to have, but hey, I like a little diversity in my life.

27. Describe yourself: I’m an INFJ on the Meyers-Briggs scale, and a 1w2 on the Enneagram. 

To be honest, I’ve spent more time thinking about this question than was probably necessary, but I struggle to accurately sum myself up in a brief paragraph, perhaps because I’m not quite sure who I am yet. Bear with me, this might be a little long.

People tell me I’m intelligent, self-reliant, mature, and wise; apparently I’d make a good therapist, and I’d have to agree. I’ll listen to you even if you’re my worst enemy, because everyone deserves to be heard, no matter what our relationship status is. I’m a natural mediator, and it takes a lot to get me truly angry, but once I am, it’s not a pretty sight. I’m painfully selfless, maybe too selfless at times, and I’ve learned that I give people too many chances. I trust a little too quickly, but I’m also terrified of telling people my inner thoughts (what a weird conundrum, huh?). I’m hung up on the “what if”s, they’ll haunt me until the end of time. I’m anxious; I love to be alone, but I’m scared to be lonely. I hope for the best and assume the worst, and the end product is usually somewhere in the middle. 

I’m usually fairly quiet because if it’s a weekday, chances are I haven’t slept well. I rarely take the initiative in conversations, but god, get me on a topic I love? I’ll talk your ear off for hours about Overwatch and European History and the F-18. My friends say I’m sarcastically savage, but also have a heart of gold, and will do anything for the people I love. I love without abandon; I like to assume the best in people and find the good in every bad situation, seek out the little things that bring joy to a darker day. I create endlessly, through writing and drawing and architecture and dreaming. My mind is always thinking, always conceiving, and rarely does it ever stop, but I’m painfully perfectionist; I criticize constantly, from the ragged edges of my chewed-short fingernails to the sentence I just typed on a blank Google doc. I run from the past and look to the future, and it seems so far away, but I blink and I’m suddenly looking at junior year of high school and the world of college and student loans and sweet, sweet independence. It’s right here, I’m right on the verge, and just about when I think I can see who I actually am, the kaleidoscope turns a little to the right, and there’s a different design in the eyepiece.

It’s been turning a lot lately, it seems. I’ve lost a lot of people, been burned at the edges, discovered what it’s like to have everything fall out from underneath you. But you know what? I’m still here, and that kaleidoscope is still rotating, because each time another block has been pulled out, I see yet another side of myself I never knew existed, and even in just a few months, I’ve learned countless lessons about people and feelings and even my own self. Thus, I’ll keep looking through the eyepiece and watching the pieces turn, beautiful and bright in their design.

Because I can’t do much else other than hope and dream, push forward to the future, to the days when things will work themselves out, to the moment when I can work myself out.

And that day, I think, I’ll finally see the whole mosaic.

[violetosprey]

TDDUP My thoughts on Ellen

Doing one of these for each of the 5 stars in TDDUP (yes, even the ladies).  This is incredibly subjective, so I decided not to call this a review.  Rant sounds too negative to me, it’s more a mix of gushing and analysis here.  Anyways, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead because I may talk about stuff not revealed until the very end of a play through.  In fact I’m probably going to talk in a way that just assumes the person reading this has completed TDDUP.  Kinda like, “Oh I won’t give the whole story of this scene because you know what I’m talking about.”  Now for the final character, Ellen!

This may end up being a long post again.  Depends on if more thoughts start coming as I write.  Ellen makes me think :P 

But before I get into anything here, I need to point out that Ellen is actually not owned by ElectricPuke, but instead by rotworld.  I believe Puke did the coding, backgrounds, sprites, cgs, and I think picked the music if I’m not mistaken (and it’s one of my favorite soundtracks in TDDUP).  So I thank him for that, but otherwise the character herself and the script was crafted by rotworld.  So they’re the ones I’m really going to be thanking  here for this character (Puke got enough love in the last posts anyway, haha).

Ellen pretty much went from being the character I thought I was just going to skim over in TDDUP, to being one of my absolute favorites.  In fact, I’d say out of all the TDDUP cast, she’s the one who’s the most complex.  When you look at the characters, you can pretty sum up their personalities right away and say what’s wrong with them:

Chris: Good husband who finally snaps under years of abuse.

Jack: Sociopathic killer and necrophiliac (who still loves you)

Marcus: Good cop with a really really bad case of obsessive love

Aria: Sister-in-law with a brother complex who has it out for you

Ellen: An intelligent college student who’s taken an interest in someone she should probably be keeping her distance from…

Yeah when I look at all of them, I feel like the ones with the most layers are Jack and Ellen.  Jack’s complex because he’s a serial killer with a weird sex fetish who…still does not want to murder his wife (even though he’s likely a sociopath).  Ellen is complex because she’s an otherwise “normal” college school student who knows Jack’s a serial killer and instead wants to get closer to him.  You play through Ellen’s route and it’s pretty easy to get an idea of her character, quirks, and thinking.  We learn a whole lot about her, but at the same time there’s also a lot of things we still don’t understand about Ellen.

Let’s start with what we know:  Ellen is a college student studying at the university Jack works at.  Jack is one of her professors and admires his intelligence and strict way of teaching.  She’s an intelligent young woman who speaks in a polite and proper manner.  She’s aware Jack is married.  She mostly shows Jack respect, but there are small hints of slight romantic feelings towards Jack.  I believe she does state that she’s inexperienced in physical relationships, but she does show an interest in them.  She is curious what it would be like to have sex with Jack.

Ellen has somehow found out that not only has Jack been murdering people, but he has been having sex with their corpses.  This appears to be something that, while she logically concludes to be unusual, intrigues her instead of repels her.  She shows a desire to want to participate in Jack’s “work.”  She even admits to Jack that she knows what he’s doing in an attempt to pressure him to let her participate.  Based on the actions in her route, she even shows that she has considered the thought of actively participating in killing people and defiling their corpses if Jack wishes.  She does not appear to have any actual experience killing a human being though (I think).  She also does not believe herself to be a sadist, but will go as far as to cause harm to others when she is feeling stressed herself in order to calm down (even pretending she’s done nothing wrong in the process).

Ellen doesn’t actually appear to have any malice towards Jack’s spouse.  She only gets antagonistic if the MC becomes too mean/defiant or a “bad dog.”  She kidnaps the MC with the intent to learn more about Jack and the MC’s relationship with Jack.  Ellen shows that she has this very strange habit of… referring to you as her dog (yet acknowledges that you can speak, and that you are, again, married to Jack).  Unlike Aria, Ellen’s endings vary widely.

I know I say in the beginnings of these posts that I wasn’t really going to elaborate on every scene in the path, but with Ellen I HAD to write down everything I knew I about her.  That’s three paragraphs worth there of trying to piece together Ellen’s character, behavior, and motives.  Like I said, we learn a ton about Ellen, but there’s also a lot left unanswered.  Where to start…

First off, we know that while Ellen appears sane, there’s something not right about that girl.  The whole “catharsis through other’s pain” is either her being in denial that she is actually a sadist, or she really does only cause harm to others at times of stress.  Regardless, the things she does (putting glass in your food or a cricket in your ear) are too creative and bizarre for a “normal” person.  As for the dog thing, the more I think about it, the stranger it gets.  This may be going more into personal opinion territory here because this is the one concept in Ellen’s path where I CANNOT seem to grasp her thinking.  

From my viewpoint, Ellen doesn’t actually hate the MC.  Heck, two of the death endings are just accidents by Ellen (you have to really tick her off or force her into a corner for a deliberate kill).  Ellen isn’t even anywhere on the same level of Aria when it comes to envy (yes Aria is mostly mad because of the abuse, but there’s no denying she’s like envious of you being married to Chris too).  Like I said, Ellen is for the most part polite and proper.  She doesn’t appear to be doing the whole “you’re my dog” thing for any sexual fetish either.  I suppose maybe it could be a form of control by humiliating you.  She may just not be pointing it out and just stating more matter-o-factly that you’re her dog similar in a similar way to how she makes you believe at first you were crazy about the food being deadly.  But the thing here is she did have a dog in the past, and she does seem to like dogs.  So part of me wants to say that this isn’t something she’s doing out of spite, for dominance, or a sexual fetish.  She...knows who you are but also wants another dog?

For once I’m actually stumped XD  I’ve been able to think carefully and kind of get the actions of most of these characters, but the dog thing I can’t connect the dots.  Please don’t make mistake this for me saying that this is a bad character because she makes no sense.  Far from it!  I think basically I just don’t know Ellen’s past, so I can’t connect the dots here very well.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s suffered some kind of abuse or trauma beforehand.  And that actually makes her a lot more fun and interesting.  Maybe she’s trying to connect with the MC in some strange way.  She likes dogs, so she’s trying to like you right away too?  I don’t know, someone else would have to give a crack at this XD  But yeah I actually liked the whole dog treatment in this path because it made the story even more different from the others and did a good job at emphasizing that Ellen is not quite normal.  Gives the path more of an identity.

Another thing I like about Ellen is the fact that she’s actually kind of relatable for a lot of the audience that TDDUP is targeting.  No, don’t worry.  I’m not saying that everyone who plays TDDUP is secretly kidnapping spouses, treating them like dogs and feeding them glass :P  No it occurred to me when I was talking about Marcus and why people like yanderes.  Something along the lines of “I want to be the exception in a bad boy/bad guy’s life.”  I mean you want to be the person who doesn’t get hurt or even helps the person who does bad things become a better person.  It’s a pretty common romantic idea.  The key here is you have to pay attention to whether it’s a bad boy or a bad guy (because there’s a huge difference).

What Ellen wants, is to be that exception towards Jack.  In fact, I think she believes herself capable of that because she accepts Jack despite what he does.  She wants to get closer to him and volunteers to work alongside him.  A lot of people who play TDDUP (and probably the BTD games) likely will want to aim for the survival endings if there are any.  I’m sure there’s a lot of people like me who were wondering just how “good” a survival ending would be exactly.  These games have have both survival endings that genuinely make you feel good...and ones that make you realize you were better off dead.  Ellen’s like a player character aiming for a survival ending with hopefully some romance blossoming.

The funny thing is, Jack already has an exception...the MC (and apparently anyone else who’s family).  If you don’t spy on Jack, we learn rather quickly that Jack had no intention of having Ellen work with him, despite any respect or sympathy he may have had for her as his student.  He ultimately saw her as no different from any of his other victims.  So lesson learned: Just because you think you can tame a mad man, doesn’t mean you can.  Going for the bad boy is cute, going for the bad guy is dangerous.

Finally, I think what I REALLY like about Ellen most was the survival ending where she lets you go.  I really wasn’t expecting an ending where you get off completely free like that.  In fact both Ellen’s survival endings are probably more appealing than Aria’s one survival ending to be honest (how well Ellen treats you as a dog is debatable, but I digress).  The ending where she lets you go is almost surreal.  There’s no communication between the player and Ellen for the most part, no threats by Ellen to not tell anyone about this, and no declaration by the MC that you’re going to tell.  In fact I’m curious if the MC WOULD tell anyone about what happened.  If you did, would you inevitably have to bring up how you were told your husband is a serial killer and necrophiliac?  Do you want to investigate that on your own at first?  Do you believe Ellen?  How will you greet a likely worried Jack when you get home?  How will you sleep in the same bed as him?  The MC is safe but nothing will be the same now.

I also REALLY love the CG for this ending.  Looking at Ellen, you can tell she seems to have now taken an even greater interest in you than ever before.  She’s almost become as obsessed with you know and she did with Jack (and you know how I feel about “obsession” if you read my Marcus post :P).  You two have had a very intimate experience now (not a good one, but I mean unique really).  And if the serial killer was fascinating to her, why wouldn’t the spouse who accepts said serial killer still after learning the truth be?  Ellen’s probably just stumbled upon the jackpot of interesting couples.  Wouldn’t really be surprised if it’s not the last you see of Ellen, and that’s actually pretty scary.

Wow yeah, Ellen’s awesome.  I liked interacting with her character and seeing how unpredictable or eerily calm she’d be.  That’s why I don’t know if I like Jack or her more.  The killer or the one obsessed with him.  They’re both not sane people, but I guess it’s more of which side is more to your tastes.  They’d win for me if Marcus didn’t exist.  I don’t know if rotworld’s written much more on Ellen, but I do know they’re a pretty good writer.  So go check out their stories and see what other characters they have.  I think Ellen gets an “A+” in character design and story for me.

That’s it!  I did all 5 and it was nice to finally get all my thoughts out.  Hope the I got all the typos, but I have a feeling I’ll have to comb through these again later to edit.  This was fun.  Hopefully more people give their opinions on these characters.  I’d love to read how everyone else reacted to each one.

[wyseink]

For the "10 question..." meme 1, 2 and 7 please:)

I wasn’t sure which of the 10 Question memes you were referring to, so I just answered these for all of them! 

10 Questions Every Fic Writer Secretly Wants to be Asked

1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

I tend to go a bit back and forth, but right now, it’s still my Yuri!!! on Ice fic, Two Nights in Paris. It’s one of the few of mine that is multi-chapter and has a full story arc rather than just being a drabble exploring a few concepts. It was also just a lot of fun to write. I can always let loose a bit more with Victor and Yuri than I can other characters just because of their careers, lifestyles, and the nature of the series. 

Let me know which fics you want for 2 & 7, as I’m going to need a bit more specification. ;)

10 Questions for Fic Writers: Writer’s Choice

1. Which fic did you put the most work into and which did you put the least into? Be honest!

I put the most work into my Yuri!!! on Ice fic, Two Nights in Paris. Ironically (or perhaps unsurprisingly), the work I put the least amount of effort into is for the same series. It’s a drabbled titled On those quiet evenings… and one I wrote while browsing pasta recipes on Pinterest. It’s also my most liked fic. -_-

2. Which sentence or paragraph is your favorite among those in the fics you’ve written? Why is it your favorite?

“She stared out over the water, unable to shake the feeling that despite what she saw on the surface, he was still retreating back into the abyss.” - Turning Point, a Psycho-Pass fic

To me, this sentence just perfectly sums up Ko and Akane’s relationship over the years and his character in particular. The fic takes place in a peaceful time when the characters are finally free, yet despite the circumstances his nature hasn’t changed. Akane still feels that she in some way can’t reach him, even if he is right there beside her.

7. Which fic do you believe you took the most creative liberty with and why?

There’s a little fic I wrote years ago for one of the most unpopular pairings in the Free! fandom back when the show wasn’t being driven into the ground. It’s comprised of two companion pieces, Overdue Meetings and Changing Tides that visits the Training Camp from Hell trip after the older characters have all graduated. I had written Overdue Meetings just for fun and giggles, which explores Gou developing a crush on the new club president (Rei). I hadn’t expected to really see it through, but one day I just decided to go for it and started writing Changing Tides to explore it further.

It was also an excuse for me to practice writing something a bit more teen-oriented, which was nice. I usually write for an adult audience in real life and usually one in the fic world as well, so it was a fun, refreshing change of pace for me.

10 Questions for Fic Writers: The Where, When, and Why

1. If you could be a spectator and watch one of your fics play out before you in real life, which would you choose and why?

Probably Two Nights in Paris since there are plenty of scenes that aren’t particularly private. Plus, that would mean I’d be in one of the cool locations the characters visit.

2. What was your process in coming up with and deciding on the setting in [title]? Did you do any kind of research to prepare and, if so, what kind?

Keeping with the Two Nights theme, I’d just known I wanted to take a look at a quick and realistic but romantic getaway for the characters. I had an image of them at a hotel window or balcony in mind, and due to a series of odd events, the result became the city of love itself. Which, if you’re familiar with the series, it’s a pretty obvious call.

I did a ton of research, utilizing everything from travel sites to friends who either frequent the city or have lived there for at least some duration of time. I also kept in mind that it wasn’t the first time Victor would’ve seen the city, but would see it from a new perspective with Yuri. All of this while they were dealing with their trademark communication issues and some stress in their relationship. I also thought about how my French friends spoke and listened to different French YouTubers to really get in the rhythm of the original character I included���s dialogue.

It’s also worth noting that I’d been reading a nonfiction book set in Paris at the time.

7. In what ways did the setting influence the characters in [title], if at all?

It’s kind of a spoiler, but it loosens both Victor and Yuri up to get away from skating for a bit. They have no choice but to focus on their relationship, and there’s an added twist at the end that explains the decision to go to Paris further. ;)

Thank you so much for the questions! They’re much appreciated. Let me know which titles you’d like for the ones I wasn’t able to answer if you’re still interested. You can find almost all of my fics on my AO3.

[mildlymaddy]

Yearly (Belated) Review

Alright, there it is. My answers to the Yearly Review meme. Honestly I found this SO HARD. Not only was it hard to find positive things to say about my writing, but also I don’t remember anything of what I wrote last year? It’s hard to answer these questions if you don’t even remember any detail about your own fics.

It’s really weird because I take so much pride in my actual job, like I know I’m good at it, I know exactly what I’m good at, I could answer all the questions in the world about it. I also think that I’m a really good beta reader, like I’ve never found anybody else like me? Someone who will actually nag at you and go deep and force you to rework stuff and get even better. All of this, I can easily see and appreciate. But my personal writing? UGH. Nothing to keep, throw it all away please.

Writing this was really painful for me, when it seems to have been so much fun for everyone else (as it should be, because y’all are so fucking talented and I’m glad you realize it)... but you know what, soldiering through actually helped me take a step back and force myself to see what was good about my writing. I’m incredibly grateful for it.

1. List of works published this year:

This one at least is easy, you can find the list here.

Except that I forgot my original ficlet I wrote, a soft lesbian summer haze story inspired by some Danielle Campbell photos! It’s there and I think only two people in the world have read it but I really like it.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Hahahahahahahahaha…. hahahaha… haaaa.

Sorry.

Um.

I guess, maybe, the Lilo Brits verse? Because it’s like, one of the more “serious”, angsty things I’ve written (and La helped me make it good).

I guess it’s pretty clear I have a real big problem about thinking “happy” fic is meaningless, which is kind of a downer considering it’s almost all I write (and probably what I’m best at).

Oh, okay, I’ve just re-read that ghost!Liam lirry fic and it’s surprisingly nice. I guess I like the way it’s a total crackfic and yet it’s very tender and bittersweet. I can grant myself that. :)

And now that I’ve found back that Danielle fic I linked to above, I can honestly say that I’m super proud of it. I’m proud of how soft it is, and how tentative, and I just… I really like how poetic it is? The words came out exactly as I wanted them to. I really love it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Most of them? Like, they’re okay, but most could have been infinitely better if I’d just forgotten about them for a bit and come back to them with fresh eyes, instead of posting them straight away. There’s stuff that people loved that I’m re-reading today and I literally cringe thinking of how much better they could/should have been.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I couldn’t say. Like, it’s not just that I’m super harsh on my writing, but how am I supposed to remember everything I wrote?? The way you guys all managed to answer this one is what baffled me the most, because I legitimately cannot do it. I’d have to re-read everything I posted (and even then I probably wouldn’t like anything enough to think it’s worth quoting here).

But one thing I can say is that I have a huge soft spot for my Lilo fairy verse. It’s not the most amazing thing in the land but I think Louis as a fairy works really, really well, and it’s just silly and happy and I’m glad I wrote it. :)

 5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

This one is surprisingly hard to answer! I mean, obviously, @catateme9 is the most supporting reader and friend anyone could wish for, by far. The way you boost authors you like is heartwarming, and shows that you don’t need to actually put out material to be a vital part of the fandom. <3

I’m also just really grateful when people yell at me in their reblog tags, which happens often, it’s probably the most satisfactory feedback anyone can get.

I’m sorry, I feel bad for not being able to recall a really good one, I just… any kind of feedback makes my day. I cherish each and every comment/tag/message I get about my fics, so it’s just impossible to pick one.

 6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Honestly ask me for a time when writing was easy, it’ll be easier to pinpoint. Writing is torture, all the fucking time. But some of the random ficlets I wrote in bed were wonderful gifts, sudden unexpected inspiration that I managed to see through in one sitting.

But writing has been especially hard for the past couple months, I have to say. I used to constantly daydream about my plots and now there’s only static in my brain.

 7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I guess all the het fic I wrote. I’ve always written exclusively slash, even back in my HP days (the only Hermione/Ron fic I can remember writing was PG, I couldn’t stomach the idea of writing a sex scene). I think because for a long time I wanted to get as far away from heterosexuality as I could. I guess me writing all those elounor, or elounorexha, or louelle fics shows my own real life path towards accepting I’m bi and that there’s nothing wrong with “het” sex.

 8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I don’t think I grew at all. Queen of stagnation, that’s me. 😞

 9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I… don’t know? Maybe just… learn to give myself more credit? Be as kind to myself as I am to other writers? Oh and also if I could stop comparing myself to all of you and feeling terrible because I’ll never be half as talented, that’d be nice.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@ferryboatpeak will never not be wonderful. She uses both the carrot and the stick to keep me on track (or tries to, at least), and she’s also sent me some DELIGHTFUL things to beta, for which I’m always so grateful because honestly, reading her stuff and then seeing her turn my suggestions into gold is a fucking privilege.

To be fair, I have a lot of incredibly talented writers as friends. You’re all inspirations in some way, but I’ll mention 3 writers that have really stood out for me this year (please don’t get offended if you’re not in the list you KNOW how much I admire and love all of you, omg, so much!!)

@queerlyalex the sheer range of what you write, and the softness with which you tackle tricky subjects, is absolutely incredible. Your fics aren’t only perfectly written, they’re also so enlightening, and eye-opening, and as someone who was very very clueless before I joined Tumblr, they’ve been a wonderful, soft way of truly realizing there is so much more than what I’ve experienced, and getting my head around some stuff. I feel so incredibly grateful to be your friend.

@polaroidgirlfriend, I’m sorry I haven’t yet read your fionrry, but I still think about your university Narry fic all the time. I’m still floored by how perfect and honest it was, you have a way of… of getting at hidden, unspoken human emotions that is so gentle and yet so uncompromising, it’s a testament to your beautiful soul.

@1000-directions, your love for the boys’ girlfriends (and friends, like Bebe) is the most heartwarming thing ever, and I’m so happy you’re constantly putting out these empowering, woman-positive slices of life out into the fandom world. We need more people like you here. I also love what you said about learning to write for yourself and not caring about how niche something is, that is something I could dearly do with.

I think it’s telling that the three people I’ve picked out have that one thing in common, your way of gently dissecting relationships to get to the heart of them, unflinchingly uncovering the good and the bad bits. You somehow all manage to depict love as a bloody beating heart, both beautiful and terrible, soft and ragged, full of hope and despair, and I just… love this so much about you. There’s a line in one of my fics (that sounds so pretentious omg) which goes “so she’ll stop cutting his heart open as softly as if it was a peach”, and that just really sums it up. I only wrote that one sentence, but y’all actually do it in every one of your fics, and I’m just... in total awe of you. ♥♥♥

 11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Pretty much everything I write is about me. I get sick? I’ll write some sickfic. I’m super tired? Louis can’t seem to get any sleep. Little gestures I love end up in my stories. Things I crave end up in my stories. Often I’m embarrassed about just how much my stories are a reflection of myself, to be honest. I’m an open book.

 12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I’ll share wisdom from my actual job : do not cling to your ideas. It doesn’t matter how cute/sexy/well written that paragraph is, or how brilliant that idea is, if it doesn’t fit with the rest of the story or if it’s blocking you up, GET RID OF IT. Seriously. Being able to just delete chunks of your own writing when you realize it’s not serving your story will save you a lot of pain and time.

 13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Any of my WIPs, god, please. I started so many things and they fell through the wayside and I feel so guilty and gutted about it.

The most important thing of all would be finishing Take These Chances, because I still get comments on it from time to time and I’ve dropped it just before Louis and Liam finally realized they were in love and it’s just… it’s terrible. I want to finish it, I just don’t know how to make myself do it.

But I also have that summer heat nouis fic, puppy/kitten lilo, the lilourry mermaid thing, lilo new year’s kiss, another lilo fic about kisses in which liam must kiss louis every hour to make up for waking him up early, the nouis watching Stranger Things, a new installment of caldell highschool au, that hendes fic, a steamy Elouelle ficlet, the follow-up to the sleep-deprived Louis fic… all of these are half-written or more, they just need a little more work, but I can’t. seem. to do it!

If anyone’s got idea on how to motivate me through this, I’m ready to hear them.

 14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I don’t need to tag anyone, you’ve all done it already (and they were a joy to read). ^_^

[met4n0i4]

The final nail in the coughing. Maximum power!!

I know it's a little too soon to make another post. But prompts are prompts and one must follow them. So here goes another piece of information that some of you have probably been summoning out of me. Most people won't like to hear this. I myself hated and thus disregarded this information for a very long time. But it is important for the manifestation process and in some cases even essential.

This is definitely not my favorite part to teach to others, either. I generally get a lot of backlash for it. There are just some things that people don't want to hear. But, see... I didn't create this game or its rules. I did not decide the way things work. I did not make humans, their bodies or their minds. And I definitely did not intend for thoughts to be creative. That's just how things are. If you want to complain to someone about this, that someone ain't me.

All I did was try to understand the process through which I could create a life I enjoyed to the max. More specifically, I looked for a way to hack the system. But to hack a system there has to be a system in place. And you have to understand how it works. I did not create the system, nor did you. This system was put upon us. Where we asked about it? Was it forced upon us? I don't know. I just know there's a system in place in this 3d reality. And that The System can be understood in order to be hacked and used in our favor.

So let's understand the system, alright? We've already talked about it in previous posts and comments. But I'll get way deeper into it in this last post. So let's begin.

Everything is energy. Yes, you and the stars are made of the same thing. Energy. Atoms, protons, electrons and quartz moving, changing, shaping things into existence. Some people think energy is something intangible. But it isn't always. Your body, your computer, your phone, your clothes, the plants out in your garden, the birds and pretty much everything that surrounds you was created with energy and of energy.

Then of course exists this energy that hasn't been materialized but can easily be perceived. Light and sound aren't completely material. And yet, we can appreciate them. But there are still some lesser dense energies. What some people call *vibes*. People and places have *vibes*. They aren't material. They can't be seen, touched, heard, smelled or tasted. But we can perceive them somehow. That's not something metaphysical or out of this world. It's just energy.

We can move and shape energy. Most of us only understand this in a physical level. When we push a rock we are using energy (pushing movement) to move the rock (a mass of energy). When we bake a cake, we mix different ingredients (different energy arrangements) and apply some more energy (stirring, mixing, heating) to turn them into something new. We also are aware of how we can manipulate, move and shape light and sound. There's music and movies which are created out of light and sound.

But what most people miss is the less dense energies, the *moods* or the *vibes*. We don't know how to move them, shape them, mix them. And it's easy to miss them cause they are almost intangible. It's just like the states of water. An ice cube that is denser can be easily perceived, while water vapor that is way less dense can easily be missed. It's harder to see, to touch, to smell, to taste. But that doesn't mean vapor is not there. And it also does not mean that it can't materialize! It can become denser into water or even denser into ice. Plain physics.

Well, **thought** is one of those less dense energies that we usually miss and thus give less importance to. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist and it definitely does not mean that it doesn't materialize. As a matter of fact thoughts have immediate effects over our bodies. I'm no scientist but I know that thoughts immediately trigger chain reactions in our bodies that include electric impulses, neurochemical secretions and even movement.

&#x200B;

Just thinking of being attacked by a predator or being fired from our jobs can immediately trigger:

\- Secretion of cortisol in our bloodstream

\- Blood flow leaving our digestive system and going to our extremities

\- Chills up our spines

\- Increased heart rate

\- Rapid breathing

\- Acute attention (alertness)

&#x200B;

So thoughts basically materialize through our bodies first. This is one of the reasons I so many times write about our bodies being super reactive to our every thought. About how changing our thoughts will lead first and foremost to changes in our body. How changing our bodies is the easiest part. How healing, losing weight, reversing hair loss are usually the first things that happen when we fix our thoughts. And why we experience detox symptoms (energy cleansing) while doing it.

But I very few times have said that our bodies are like musical instruments. Once our bodies react to our thoughts, they *also* vibrate and emit energy to our surroundings just like musical notes. Electromagnetic fields, the aura? We normally just address those emissions as *the vibes*! Vibes are just a form of energy coming out of a us into the atmosphere. They are denser than our thoughts but less dense than light or sound. That's why it's not so easy to perceive them. Although, I would say that most people do perceive them. I just think people disregard them for not being dense enough, aka important enough.

And the vibes are energy that we cast out there for the whole world to perceive. That's the reason your ex only calls when you are already dating someone else. Those bastards can feel the changes on your vibe at a distance! It's like radio waves. Anyone who tunes in can sense them. And that's why changing our vibes gets us more job interviews, more clients, more dates, more followers on Instagram, or more invites to parties. People asking about attracting an ex, please pay special attention to this last paragraph.

So I might be going a little too deep for your taste, but I want you to understand that thoughts are SUPER important. They actually are the corner stones that set everything in motion. Thoughts are the most important thing ever. They shape our whole reality. That's why on my first ever post I told you the first basic principle of things.

&#x200B;

>**All our thoughts are creative.**

&#x200B;

And that's what most people already understand. That's also the reason why most people jump straight into creative mode. They all understand that thoughts create their reality and immediately try to engage in thought exercises that help create what they want. Some of those techniques can be scripting, visualizations, SATS, imagining yourself in the end, acting as if, or any other exercise that uses your imaginative capacity to create new things.

Also, most fail to understand that some of their past thoughts are already materialized in some shape or form. And that they can't just put new energy over those creations and experience something different. Some creations have to be dismantled and rebuilt. See, you can't just put an energetic bandaid over a cancerous tumor. You have to transform the energy of that tumor into something else, something better.

That's why from the beginning, I encouraged you to transmute your every day negative thoughts and turn them into positives. That's also the reason why I encouraged you to keep monitoring every single one of your thoughts. See, this way we are addressing two things. Thoughts that are already manifested are being transformed into better things. And at the same time we keep creating new things. We do all this by using our inner guidance that prompts us into doing one thing or the other.

Now, we're already getting to the good part. But first I'd like to sum up the whole creative process in two modes.

1. The creative mode.

2. The corrective mode.

Some people are more prone to the creative mode, like I already mentioned. But there's also people who are more prone to get into the corrective mode. People who are aware of the need to correct energy usually engage in practices such as dieting, fasting, exercising, meditating, praying, confessing, and any other technique that has the intention of correcting and rebalancing energy.

The problem is that usually people engage only in one mode or the other. When both are absolutely necessary in order to successfully manifest anything. Someone who creates over an already created mess will barely notice positive changes. And someone who focuses on healing but doesn't replace the corrected energy with new better things, will also fail in their attempts. I once did both.

And as you can imagine. It was not until I started using both modes that I started to see actual results. And I finally learned that a real wizard has to learn those two things. How to create and how to correct. And in order to do those two things in full capacity, one must actually learn *three* different things.

&#x200B;

1. How to master your every thought.

2. How to transmute negative energy forms.

3. How to create new positive energy forms.

My first few posts suggested a technique where the three steps where addressed. But, to be completely honest, the point that I was making emphasize upon was the first one. My intention was to make you accountable of your every thought. And thus, that first exercise helps us train ourselves into mastering our mind. This first step is necessary in order to stop negative creating in the first place. After we learn how to stop negative creating by mastering our thoughts, then we can get even better at the other two things.

Yesterday I made a post on transmuting negative and stuck energy. That one technique is meant to be stronger than just flipping negative thoughts into positives. See, I don't know why but **feeling loved** is the most powerful energy in the world for healing and transmutation. I guess we all know that intuitively. But some things need to be said out loud to make sense out of them.

And that's the reason why I had to pinpoint for you some techniques that make use of a loving healing power to transmute. I once developed a technique that I called 'Loverdose' (Love Overdose) or ♥OD for short. That practice was based on a lot of endocrinological information. And it became a corner stone into my understanding on how to manifest. But just understand that feeling loved (not feeling love for someone else) is the best way to forgive and correct your past creations.

But that's something I addressed in the past post. That one key was mean to potentialize your transmutation power. And finally, this one thing I'm going to address is the master key meant to potentialize your creative power. See, just like feeling loved is the key to transmuting, the **conservation of sexual energy** is the key to harnessing more creative power.

Fuuuuu, finally the bomb has dropped. I said it. I'm sorry. I didn't made this up. I don't control the system or how things work. I know this one is a hard bone to swallow but it is absolutely true. Sexual abstinence makes you more powerful to create new thought forms and eventually more 3d things. I told you you wouldn't like it. I didn't like it either.

But see, most people who learn how to manifest talk about this. Napoleon Hill in his book 'Think and grow rich' addresses sexual purity as an essential element to the whole process. Saint Germain also writes about how people waste the most powerful creative energy through sex. The Bible has this figure that loses all his strength when tempted by lust, Samson. And then of course we have the Virgin Mary as the figure from which Jesus was born. So being a virgin probably is a big deal.

See, there's a lot of references to the conservation of sexual energy for creation. Gnosis is a spiritual teaching completely centered on this whole thing. Sex magic does not talk about sexual energy preservation but recognizes the power of sexual energy in some way. And Jesus does invite fornicators not to 'sin' again.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, let me tell you this. I tried No Fap or Semen Retention like a decade ago, before it was a huge movement on social media. I went 5 straight months without any sexual emissions and I can attest that preserving sexual energy does invigorate the body. I felt more energy in general and muscle growth without doing any exercises. I had a sharper mind too. But then of course my testimony might not be much. That's why I invite you to read a few testimonies on r/NoFap or r/SemenRetention.

Sexual preservation is a thing and has actual results. Just think in terms of energy. Why do men get so tired after releasing? Maybe because they spend a lot of energy through sex. Just think about it, sex is the activity through which a new life form is CREATED. So sexual energy must be some kind of really powerful energy, don't you think?

Well, I'm not gonna convince you. All you need to know is that preserving your sexual energy does increase your power to create! And some people by listening to their inner guidance will naturally come to this conclusion. But some people also get mad at me for not telling them this from the beginning. But hey, listen me out.

You first have to learn to master your mind before you harness 10x more power through sexual energy! See, people on NoFap and all those places will have two kind of experiences, either really awesome, or really really awful. Why? Well, imagine having 10x more creative power but still having only negative thoughts. Yikes, right?? Not cool. But people who do it and have beautiful thoughts... yaaay!

Most of you are now masters of your minds, so now harnessing this huge energy makes total sense. And I know that some of you are really committed to becoming a wizard, a god, a powerful creator. So some might not even complain upon learning this information. Maybe those will be more worried cause they know it's not easy to master sexual impulses. And here's where things get interesting. For anyone who does want to harness more creative power and understands that this is the final piece of the puzzle, here's my advice.

Whenever you get a sexual urge, you don't suppress that energy or ignore it. That's the wrong way to go cause you know that energy will just accumulate and come back to you eventually with a vengeance. What you have to do is transmute that energy! You have to apply the violet flame or any other love-powered technique to transform that energy into neutral or positive energy. That transmuted energy will then become available for casting new and wonderful spells.

See? We're going to use all that energy into our spells, and you'll see what happens then. Spells ten times more powerful, that's what happens. Now, it's a vicious cycle cause transmuting sexual energy makes you more powerful. And being more powerful makes it easier to transmute energy and create new things. And transmuting energy makes you even more powerful. And being more powerful makes it easier to transmute more energy and create new things. And... you get the point. Things get better and better and better.

Mastering your thoughts. Transmuting energy through love. And harnessing your sexual energy. That's the three things a master has to learn. You learn those three things and you are set for life. There's not much now that I can teach after this. There's a few little details that I can share. There's a few spells I've gathered along the way that might get you going. A few testimonies I can give. But if you've read all my posts up to this one, now you have all the tools to make it on your own. All you have to do is use them, of course.

I will not disappear since I know there are still a lot of questions out there and some of you need some form of external motivation to keep you going. So I'll keep answering to questions posted on the comments. I am answering less and less to private messages now though, so try to make public questions for everyone to benefit from them and not just you.

I'll also be doing something new. See, I never expected people being interested in this information through Reddit. And I was definitely not expecting people reading all the questions and answers in the comments section. I also didn't expect people practicing what I teach with such eagerness. It makes me really happy to get messages from people getting already some degree of success out of this practices. But with my previous post and this new one, things are about to get 7 times better for the ones using them.

So I've decided to start a closed sub. It will be invite only and will be meant to help a very small group of people who are really working on this teachings. I want to help them get all the way. See, I love doing this posts and people's feedback, but I don't want it to be just a cute philosophy some crazy cat posted on Reddit. I want at least one person to become a full on magician. I'd really rather have one person understand, practice and master all this stuff, than a whole bunch of people reading and not getting anywhere.

The way I see it, if I help three, four, five or six people master this shit, then those six people can go out there and teach another 6 people, and then this thing will actually grow. It'll stop being some interesting read on a blog and will become a real movement. At least that's what I've been feeling lately. So I'll proceed with the secret fraternity kinda thingy.

I don't know yet how I'll pick the people who'll get invited to that private sub. Most likely through the comments you post, since it's the only signal I get from you about how much you've been doing this, how much you've come to understand it and how much interest you really have in becoming a wizard, Harry!

I already have some people in mind. So if you've been around and commenting, keep an eye on your inbox. I'll be sending invitations probably some day next week. I'll probably make another post about this closed group. But for now, keep me updated on your progress and questions in the comments.

There should be some really specific physical symptoms that I haven't mentioned in any of my posts, that should be appearing by now on some of you. Those two specific symptoms are the true sign of someone who is becoming a magician. And I'll be paying a very close eye on anyone who starts experiencing them. As for now, I'll leave you with your thoughts, and hope there's still people trying this after the bomb dropped on this post.

I hope this helps, Gato.

[jamiehueblog]

Web design trends to watch out for in 2020

If you used Facebook or pretty much most other social media a decade or half a decade ago, you remember how flat and boring their designs were. Websites were made with more practicality and efficiency in mind, as opposed to a blend of aesthetical and smart design. And if we looked at them again, chances are, they won’t be particularly pleasant to look at.

Unless you’re new to the industry of web design, you want to get all the updates on the latest and greatest design, so that your work matches the modern standards we’ve all come to expect. Sure, not everything is about following trends, but when we’re talking about aesthetics, it’s easy to get lost in the large variety of styles that people use for their websites.

So, we decided to highlight a few web designs we think are going to be big this year, so you have some idea of what you’ll be working with, or perhaps are working with right now.

1. A Little Darkness Never Hurt

We’ve reached a point of technological convenience, where you can use your electronics pretty much anywhere, one of the most famous places to use it on the bed, especially at night.

You’re sitting there in the darkness staring at the screen and the last thing you want is to be blinded by all these bright vibrant colors that make your retinas melt in their sockets. Which is why so many social media websites as well as tons of browsers allow you to turn on “Dark Mode”.

This is as practical as it is stylish, but there are many people out there who choose to have Dark Mode on all the time, even when there’s light around. It’s just so much more soothing to the eyes and less piercing. Sure, you could just turn down the brightness, but this may just make things hard to see.

Tip: Dark mode works best with minimalistic design since the entire point of it is to make it easier for your eyes to see the screen. By using minimalist design, you’re also making it simple for your eyes to track different areas of the page, making it even more pleasant to navigate.

 2. Keeping Things Simple

An old design turned on its head with some zany colors that pop out, minimalist design has made a giant comeback in recent years and has won over many web pages with its simplistic practicality. This is where they say “less is more”.

Minimalism can mean many things in design, from a simpler font, to overall structure of the web page. Also, avoid being too wordy, as most individuals need very quick and immediate information, as opposed to paragraphs of text. Also, utilizing images and descriptions as a minimalist form of labeling can make your web page more accessible to people who don’t speak the language.

The minimalist design is not only pleasant to the eyes and considered to be stylish, but it also exists to improve users’ attention span and allow them to take in more of the web page without getting tired. Many people lose focus when there’s too much movement on the screen, so a minimalist design allows for better visual flow through each individual page.

Tip: Minimalism is a great style to use for web pages designed to give quick bursts of information, like a Q&A or FAQ page. 

3. Keeping Things Even More Simple

Nothing beats the simple bliss of a basic, yet effective black and white style. This is a classic and it’s very hard to get it wrong, since it’s pretty much everywhere; in most books you read, this Word document I’m writing in, most documents in fact.

Tip: Use several shades of grey with the black and white to give the overall design more depth.

4. Vibrant Colors, Vibrant Life

We love that glow. We love that shine. Combine it together and you get these beautiful, strong colors, which take the overall aesthetic to a whole new level.

One of the best parts of this style, is that it looks futuristic and almost cyberpunk, with a lot of great designs which resemble a high-tech atmosphere and environment.

Tip: Neon colors are very vibrant, but sometimes too vibrant. Combine them with more somber colors, so they don’t get too tiring.

5. Getting Back to the Roots

When we talk about design, we talk about its roots in the craft of hand-drawn designs and illustrations. You can take the concept of style and design back to its roots with hand-drawn elements.

They may be a little cartoonish and look sloppy (on purpose, of course) but for many people, this is a very organic style, as it fits perfectly with their project. It brings more humanity and a little bit of personality to web pages. Sure: saying something is full of “soul” is a bit kitsch nowadays, you can’t look at hand-drawn design without giving yourself a little smirk.

Tip: Make sure you don’t force this style on people. Oftentimes, it can be quite distracting to see hand-drawn designs in every single corner of your website and could possibly be tiring for the eyes to take it all in. Be a little more conservative with this style.

6. Clean and to the Point

Some things need to be direct and to the point. This is exactly why so many web pages use Bold typography. A good UX design needs to communicate its message as clearly as possible. Hence why this design exists. Some people don’t need complicated designs and patterns. They need something formal, to the point and direct.

And nothing says this more than a simple bold typographic style that gets right down to business. You may find it boring, but then that means it’s not a web page meant for you.

Tip: Large letters and big blocks are easy to work with when it comes to building a website for the desktop, but it may cause problems on smaller screens, like phones and tablets. Be careful with how you design it so it’s easy to translate onto a mobile browser.

 7. A Whole New Dimension

3D web designs have taken a backseat to flatter and more plain minimalism, but by no means is 3D obsolete. When used in the right areas, 3D elements can create a more dynamic UX. 3D allows for greater detail in designs, is super engaging and can catch a user’s gaze for longer.

This mostly comes from the depth of the shapes and patterns that catches the interest of the user, as they are interested in experiencing your website from different angles and perspectives.

Tip: 3D overload can cause longer load times on your website. Make sure that the webpages are optimized enough to handle such a high load.

8. Key is in the Detail

Speaking of depth, you can have a 3D experience on your website without the heavy load of actual 3D design, by cleverly using shadows, layers, and other floating elements to give users the illusion of 3D.

Despite the fact that this kind of style is clearly not 3D and only a façade, users will still appreciate the attention to detail, the light playfulness, as well as the practicality that comes with this style.

Tip: Shaders, layers and floating objects can be hard to work with, since wrong placements can cause your web design to look more noobie than old-school. You’ll need to play around with different kinds of shadows and layers before making the final design.

9. Some Satisfying Motion

You can keep things to a minimal, or you can go nuts with your animations. While many web designers are deciding to let animations take a back seat to practicality and better web page load times, animation is still one a favorite tool for many UX developers and is a very versatile tool.

Let’s be honest: we all love to play around with the different animations on the web page and see the little details the developers hid around.

Long story short: we find happiness in the little places, and when they move around, then we’re even more happy.

Tip: Much like 3D, fully animated web pages can also be very performance intensive. Be careful that you don’t overcrowd your page with animations and then find that it takes several minutes for them to load.

10. Old School Turned New School

Gradients are super old fashioned, but also really heartwarming. If you’ve ever had the opportunity to use the late 90s to early 2000s internet, you remember how wholesome it was to see all those out of place gradients and weird color placement.

You can take that style, modernize it, and make it sleek and smart. Gradients are still a great tool in design, so don’t be afraid of them. They’re a great way to add more color and style to your pages.

Tip: Do not use them randomly. Consider very carefully how you use them, so that they don’t look out of place or cluttered.

11. Videos Make Things Easier

Sure a decade or two ago, putting videos on your website could’ve completely destroyed your websites’ performance, as they are so demanding. But nowadays, everyone has some very powerful devices, capable of opening web page videos very quickly and without any hiccups.

There is basically no reason not to use videos in your design unless you are specifically instructed not to, as they’re a great way to communicate information without lengthy paragraphs that very few visitors will bother to read.

Imagine if instead of all these written descriptions there were videos that narrated and demonstrated all these design tips… You know, that’s not a bad idea at all.

Tip: Videos can still be somewhat demanding, so be careful with their amount, length and quality. You still have a lot of room to work with, but don’t overdo it.

To sum up

2020 is a year of big design diversity. Not only are some old-school designs and styles making some pretty big comebacks, but recently developed ones are also holding their own in recent trends. This means picking one out of the lot won’t mean regretting it after a couple years, when that particular design goes out of style.

If you’re a UX developer, just think about these following design ideas and see which ones best fit your project:

Dark mode A Little Darkness Never Hurt

Minimalism Keeping Thing Simple

Black & white Keeping Things Even More Simple

Luminous color schemes Vibrant Colors, Vibrant Life

Hand-drawn elements Getting Back to the Roots

Bold typography Clean and to the Point

3D elements A Whole New Dimension

Shadows, layers, and floating elements Key is in the Detail

User-triggered animation Some Satisfying Motion

Multi-colored gradients Old School Turned New School

Videos or text-only heroes Videos Make Things Easier

It’s looking like a promising year, so keep your eyes open to catch any new style or design that crosses your path. You never know where good ideas come from, so always remember to look all around you.

[bforbookslut]

ARC Review: The Prophetess by Desy Smith

This book was provided to me by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This review edition is an ARC and may differ from the final edition.

I have given The Prophetess by Desy Smith a ☆ rating. It is Book 1 in The First Series series. It belongs to the New Adult Modern Fantasy genre with some Supernatural and Romance elements. Floebe Publishing publishes it. It was published August 2nd, 2017.

The blurb reads:

High up in the Heavens, righteousness faces off against the greatest dissenter of all time, and in the crossfire, an Angel loses his wings…

Fallen from Heaven and forced to live amongst the Humans, Ezekiel bares the tragic fate of a disgraced Angel. Having heard the rebellious Lucifer’s plan to rise up against the sanctuary of Heaven, Ezekiel remains silent; and for his inaction, he is exiled from the pearly gates and onto the unforgiving lands of the mortals. Two thousand years pass with a cold and hollow wind at his back, and for a moment, Ezekiel is resigned to his fate.

However, in the year 2016, the winds of fate begin to change, and redemption comes in the form of his brother, Gabriel, who bears great news. Ezekiel is given a chance to return to Heaven, but only once he has taken down Moloch, an evil Demon on the rise. If Ezekiel can stop Moloch from helping Lucifer return, he will be welcomed back into Heaven. However, there is more than just a Demon in his path, Ezekiel must uncover what else fate has in store for him, including a lovely, independent Prophetess, named Isabelle, and the endless possibility for joy and whimsy she offers. Can Ezekiel rise once more to the great destiny that awaits him? Or has he been amongst the fickle mortals far too long?

Disclaimer: This novel does contains a potty mouth female protagonist. If abrasive language offends you, this novel is not for you.

Add to Goodreads | Amazon

Verdict:

If I could sum The Prophetess up in one word: Awful. Full disclosure, I did not finish the book at Chapter 5, 28% in. I am incredibly upset with this book, the author and the publishing company. I got this on Netgalley and it was categorised Teens and YA. THIS IS NOT FUCKING YA. NOT. NOWHERE NEAR CLOSE. It’s New Adult. The MC is twenty-three and the Angel, god knows how old he is.

If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s self-published authors pretending like they’re from a legit publishing company because you expect a certain level of readiness and polish. Okay, it’s an arc. It won’t be perfect but The Prophetess reads like a very bad, very raw first draft.

One, the flow of events is incredibly messy. Two, there is little to no character development and the strange characterisation and extreme propensity for violence from Ezekiel.. Three, everyone is so fucking gorgeous that oh, we’re all dazzled by your greatness. Four is the cringey and forced sexual undertones of basically everything that occurs between Ezekiel and Isabelle. Five, there is so much sexism hidden behind a supposedly feminist lead character. Six, WHO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER HERE? The blurb makes it seem as though it’s Ezekiel’s story. Seven, when the warning says potty mouth, they actually mean cussing twelve times within say, five pages. The sad part about all these negatives is that The Prophetess is actually very creative. It has a good plot and the worldbuilding isn’t bad. When they’re actually talking about the demons and the actual plot, it’s actually engaging. But there was no way I was putting up with any more of the nonsense to learn what happened in the end.

To break it down,

[may contain spoilers]

The Good:

1. The Prophetess has a solid plot. Only problem is it keeps detracting from it to focus on the romance between the two leads. It’s not an original plot but it was presented creatively and I particularly liked the worldbuilding behind it, especially about Angels and Lucifer and Ezekiel being cast from heaven.

The Bad:

1. There is so much sexism that I had to put this point first. Ezekiel claims that Isabelle is a ball-crushing badass feminist. But she isn’t. And neither is this book. Just because Isabelle is supposedly independent and takes none of your shit and cusses your ears bloody doesn’t mean she is a feminist or this book is feminist. It’s not. And that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve had to read.

1.1 Isabelle calls the women that Ezekiel have slept with and will hypothetically sleep with, “whores”. No feminist will ever call another woman a whore. And in the same breath, say that she deserves to wear whatever she wants, especially if she wants to look like a slut.

1.2 Speaking of which, Ezekiel doesn’t like that Isabelle wears revealing clothing and he calls her out for it, basically branding her a tramp. Ezekiel also expects to be obeyed as if Isabelle is a fucking dog and she should do whatever he asks. Not to mention, he also speaks of tying her up or spanking her as punishment. Now, there is no kink shaming. I’m down for a good BDSM romp. But, there was no set agreement or any indication that Ezekiel wanted to perform these kinds of acts on Isabelle nor any FUCKING CONSENT. So, it’s very creepy and disgusting on his part.

2. The writing didn’t flow well. One moment, Ezekiel is doing A and then, with no explanation whatsoever, he is suddenly doing B. Same goes for Isabelle and any other character mentioned in the book. In the parts that I did read, Ezekiel has an invitation/envelope of some sorts and that’s how the section ends. Suddenly, in the next section, he is all dressed up, and so is Isabelle and suddenly they’re heading to a Vampire party. There was no mention that they would go together or if they’d meet up somewhere, how to dress, what to do. It just. Happened.

3. Character development, progression and characterisation is zilch. I suppose the author wanted Ezekiel and Isabelle to be those cute bickering couples you know who will end up together because they’re so perfect for each other. Mission not accomplished. Half the time, their arguing and fighting just doesn’t make any sense. Ezekiel’s dislike towards Isabelle is not mentioned and Isabelle’s hostility towards him is because she doesn’t like anything to do with Angels. But is fine dealing with other supernatural creatures. Like, they just meet and they hate each other. The Enemies to friends/lovers trope is as common as they come but this is one instance where it didn’t work.

3.1 Also, I know nothing about Isabelle except that she is The Prophetess and apparently helps supernatural creatures, has a mom and a sister and likes to call Ezekiel fucktard is almost every sentence. Like hello please develop your character and make me care about her because idgaf about her whining and her problems.

3.2 Ezekiel is unnaturally violent which I don’t quite understand. Because Lucifer was supposed to be the violent one who killed all their fallen brothers and Ezekiel is the good guy. But there was just a lot of graphic punching and slicing Vampires in two and chopping their heads off that didn’t gel with that image. And it’s very, very confusing. Angel madness violence thing whatever Isabelle called it

4. Not to mention that EVERYONE and I mean, EVERY FUCKING ONE, in The Prophetess is so insanely gorgeous that they have paragraphs dedicated to their good looks (okay I’m exaggerating) but it’s just so cringey and unrealistic. Ezekiel literally has a WHOLE paragraph dedicated to describing how smoking hot his chocolate skin is, how sexy his blonde hair is, how ripped he is, you get my drift.

4.1 And Ezekiel cannot stop staring and ogling Isabelle. He stares at her all the time and keeps thinking about fucking her. Yuck.

5. I find it hard to believe that Isabelle and Ezekiel are supposed to be a thing because there is absolutely no sexual tension or chemistry between them. He pushes her up against walls and she grinds her knee into his dick what. It’s just not believable and it really ruins the flow of the story just to have these two have the hots for each other. Which they don’t.

6. The blurb made it seem as though Ezekiel were the main character. And this is Ezekiel’s struggles and shit. But Isabelle seems to be the driving force of the story, not Ezekiel even if the book opened that way. And again, the confusion because what is this book about? Is it about Ezekiel trying to find redemption and saving the world from the demon with the help of a prophetess who might be a potential romantic partner or is this about Ezekiel and Isabelle fucking?

7. The book came with a warning about the potty mouth female protagonist. Now, I’m all down for a potty mouth because who doesn’t? Literally, my blog is based on my love for cussing. But when you’re cussing 12 times in about 5 pages? Something’s definitely wrong. It was bothering me so much that I had to start counting them because I wanted to see how saturated with cuss words this book was. It was cussing for no reason. Just for the fun of saying asshole, turd, shit, fuck, fucktard you name it. Plus, fucktard is such an outdated cuss word, come on get with the times. I used to write like this. I got my ass chewed out for it because it’s just bad writing.

Conclusion:

I could name a lot more but I don’t want to dwell on it any more. The Prophetess is a badly written first draft that needs to go through more editors and proof readers before it is ready for the market. It had a lot of potential that went to waste. I hope that this would be different in the final edition because I received a copy of this ARC late and was only able to review it now. But judging by the lack of reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, I don’t know how far this book will reach.