#YouTuberSirius AU

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Ojalá - Aleatory

Chapter Update! FFN and AO3

From this lovely prompt by @writing-and-nutmeg  I've changed it up a touch but I've kept the most important bits.  Prompt: "You're famous and I'm a checker at Target so I never expected us to meet, but now it's three a.m. and you just waltzed up to the counter with a tub of fake butter, a package of water balloons, and a cart full of bananas and asked if I wanted to help you get revenge, so...Hi, I guess?" AU

Aleatory

Marlene hated working the late shift. It was torture to sit as the only employee in the small shop from ten at night until she could close at three in the morning.

She'd just finished the vast majority of the closing list and was waiting for the stupid clock to move all two minutes so she could close and go home when the door opened.

Marlene clenched her teeth to keep from yelling at the idiot who managed to make it into the store two minutes before closing.

The man went straight for produce, pulling bananas down into his trolley and then he made a b-line for dairy. Marlene sighed in relief when she saw him heading her way.

But words failed her when she saw his face.

"Hey, do you sell water balloons here?" He asked as he started unloading the trolley.

"Nnn, no," she looked closer, sure she was mistaken.

"You watch the Marauders?" He asked when he caught her staring.

Marlene nodded, most everyone watched the popular YouTube channel. They had started as pranksters while in A-Levels but had branched out to do a lot more in the last couple of years while they went to university.

"Are, are you really?" She stuttered.

He nodded and held out his hand, "Sirius Black."

"Marlene McKinnon," she shook it, still trying to resolve in her mind that one of the Marauders was standing in front of her with a cart full of bananas.

"You want to help me get revenge?" He grinned at her and Marlene found herself smiling back at him.

"I, well, I, er, I'd need a few minutes to close..."

"Great, I'll load up my car while you close and then we're going to show James what happens to men who think it's alright to hide my Switch at the top of a light pole."

Marlene's eyes went wide, "Holy shite, did you get it down alright?"

Sirius reached into his leather jacket and pulled out his phone. "It's a shitty resolution because I wasn't going to wait to get it down but you can watch the footage I took when we're done."

"You're, you're offering me the opportunity to help out with a prank and to watch uncut footage?" Marlene wondered if she'd slipped while mopping, hit her head, passed out, and was now experiencing a very strange dream.

Sirius grinned at her, "Seriously. I need help and I don't know if Remus and Peter were in on James' prank or not so I can't go to them."

"So you'll take any stranger?" Marlene chuckled as he paid with his card.

"I'm not taking any strangers," he held her eyes, "I'm taking my new friend, Marlene McKinnon."

Marlene bit her lip, feeling the butterflies starting to build in her stomach. "I can probably finish the rest of the closing list in five minutes."

"Perfect," he loaded everything back into the trolley, "I'll meet you outside."

Marlene watched him walk out before pulling her cash drawer and switching on the closed sign. She tried to hurry through the closing checks before coming to the door, finding Sirius waiting for her with his trolley.

"If you show me where this goes, I'll put it back."

"Right there," Marlene pointed to the neat stacks of trolleys inside the door.

"Great," he pushed off and jumped on the trolley, riding it to the stacks and making a ruckus as he crashed into them.

"Are you good to leave your car here?" He pushed open the door. "We can drop it off wherever you want if it can't stay here."

Marlene blinked, "I, you want me to ride with you?"

"Yeah, it'll be more stealthy if we're in one car. But we'll still need to be careful because James knows I'm going to get him back, so he'll probably be on the lookout for my car."

"We could take my car," the words were out of her mouth before she could think better of it.

"You're a genius!" Sirius threw his arm around her shoulders. "Follow me, we'll drop my car off at my house and then go to James' in your car."

"Alright," Marlene said it slowly. She had often thought that the Marauders played characters on their videos, that they were acting a part. But Sirius' behavior so far led her to believe that maybe he was more toned down in the videos than he was in real life.

"Here," he threw his arm off her shoulders to grab her hand and started writing on it. "This is my number in case we get separated."

Marlene stared down at the back of her hand.

"Let's go," Sirius winked at her and then climbed into his car.

This was so weird.

Marlene followed Sirius for nearly a half an hour before he pulled up to his house. He parked and motioned Marlene to pull in beside him.

"Let's load up," Sirius started putting his bags of bananas into her back seat. "James goes for early morning runs about six and we need to be far away from his place when he gets up."

"What is the plan here?" Marlene helped him transfer everything to her car. "You've got bananas and a tub of margarine, I'm not coming up with anything coherent."

"Oh, the water balloons," Sirius shut his car door and ran for his house. "Come on," he waved her forward.

Marlene hesitated only a moment before following Sirius inside.

Inside was exactly what his vlogs had looked like on the channel, except it was cleaner than she remembered on any of his vlogs.

"Ah-ha!" Sirius stuck his head out of a hallway cupboard. "I thought I had some."

He held up a small package of water balloons like a trophy.

"Let's fill them up here," he pointed to the kitchen sink, "then we'll head up the road to James'."

Sirius tossed her the bag before pulling out a camera.

"Hi everyone," Sirius spoke to the camera as he clicked it on. "It's," he panned to the oven clock, "3:38 in the morning and I'm here with my new friend Marlene." He moved to include her in the shot.

Marlene tried to smile like a normal human being and not someone whose stomach just plummeted at the realization that six million people were going to see her in this video.

"And I'll splice in some footage here of me rescuing my Switch that James managed to hide at the top of a freaking light pole." He paused for a brief second before continuing. "But Marlene is here helping me get some revenge."

Marlene tried to look natural as she focused on filling water balloons.

Sirius switched the camera off and slid it into his coat. "You're really photogenic, everyone's going to love you."

"How do you handle that? Knowing six million people are going to see you at least once a week?" Marlene tried to distract him from the blush on her cheeks that blossomed with his words.

Sirius shrugged, "It didn't used to be that way. It used to just be our mates. I try to remember that for the most part that hasn't changed. I'm not going to go grab a pint with all our subscribers, but a lot of our mates are still watching us and I feel like it's still for them."

"So I should just think about it as making a video for a friend?" Marlene tied off another balloon.

"With a friend," Sirius winked at her and Marlene felt the blush blossom again.

They made quick work of filling the rest of the balloons and then loaded them into her car. As she stared out into the early morning, Sirius flipped on his camera.

"Alright, we're here in the lovely Marlene's car and back here," he moved the camera to include her back seat in his shot, "is bananas, water balloons, and a tub of margarine. And we're going to have some fun."

He switched off the camera and grinned over at her.

"What exactly are we going to do?" Marlene asked as he pointed for her to turn.

"We're going to rig water balloons to fall on him when he leaves for his run and smear bananas and margarine all over his front drive so his special running shoes he ordered from the States get all gooey. I brought a camera to hide and film the whole thing too."

Marlene laughed, "That's actually one of the tamer pranks you've concocted."

"My Switch was unharmed and my data untouched," Sirius shrugged. "Now if my Switch was busted or if James had erased my data we'd be finding a way to feed his running shoes to goats."

"Oh my gosh, could you really get a goat?"

"Maybe," Sirius frowned, "I'll have to look into that. It's good information to have on hand."

"This is fun," Marlene smiled as she followed Sirius' signal to turn again.

Sirius grinned at her, "You're fun."

Marlene focused on driving, but she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

Very quickly she found herself pulling up in front of James Potter's house.

"Let's unload everything and then I'll park my car down the street." Marlene looked back at all the bags in her car.

"Brilliant, you are," Sirius jumped out of the car and started unloading.

They quietly moved everything on to the pavement and then Marlene pulled her car around the corner.

It didn't take long to set everything in place, and while it was a bit messy, Marlene had so much fun that she forgot how tired she'd been before Sirius showed up to the shop nearly three hours earlier.

But what was most surprising to Marlene was how much she liked Sirius. He was attractive, all the Marauders were, but now Marlene knew that Sirius wasn't just another hot guy on YouTube. He was funny and sharp and exciting and genuinely nice.

Every time he pulled his camera out he'd remind her it was just a video with a friend, just him and her. And it helped. She felt herself falling back into her snarky self, making Sirius laugh with her comments and teasing him, especially when he flipped on the camera.

She felt a little sad that it was all coming to an end. Sirius was putting the hidden camera in place and then she would just have to take him home and that would be it. She'd go home, get some sleep, and maybe, she looked at the phone number still on the back of her hand, maybe

she'd text him. Ask how it went. Maybe he'd tell her when the video would go up so she could see it happen.

"All set," Sirius' voice pulled her back to the present. He opened his mouth to say more when Marlene heard steps behind the front door.

Without thinking she grabbed Sirius' hand and ran at full speed down the street, pulling Sirius around the corner just in time to hear James scream in surprise as the prank unfolded. But in her haste to get them around the corner she'd pulled Sirius into her and inadvertently pinned herself between a fence and Sirius Black.

"Sorry," she panted and looked up at Sirius.

"Don't be, you were brilliant," Sirius didn't move to unpin her.

"I, thanks," Marlene waited, sure he'd pull back and ask for a lift home.

Instead, he moved his hand from holding hers to resting on her hip.

"Do you have plans for later today?" He bent his head and Marlene felt her back try to arch without consent.

"Nope."

He brought his face just a bit closer to hers, "Want to grab dinner and then edit a video with me?"

Marlene grinned up at him, "A date then?"

"If it must have a label," he smirked, "then yes, a date."

"Well, labels aside, I'd like to get dinner with you and edit this video."

He moved closer, bring his lips down to hers with just a fraction of an inch between them. "Good, because I don't want you to be just one of the six million people who watch Marauders' videos anymore."

Marlene couldn't stop herself as she closed the distance between them, her lips catching his. It was feather-light at first, but Sirius stepped into her, bringing both hands to her waist. Marlene's hands moved from the fence behind her to rest on Sirius' shoulders. The kiss was soft and exciting and a part of Marlene's brain couldn't grasp that she was standing in James Potter's neighborhood kissing Sirius Black as the sun rose behind them after having pulled off a prank that would be viewed by millions of people. But the whole of her brain told her she never wanted to stop kissing him.

The woman who lived in the house behind them didn't know any of that though and tsked loudly at her gate.

Marlene laughed against Sirius, grinning when he laughed with her.

"Why don't you drive me home and then we can meet up after we both sleep?"

Like a spell, the word sleep instantly made Marlene yawn as her exhaustion started to catch up with her.

"Here," she pulled his hand into hers and pulled his marker out of his jacket pocket, "this is my number."

She held up her hand where he'd written his number, "Now we match."

"Brilliant you are," Sirius grinned down at their hands. "I don't know if I'll ever wash it off."

Marlene's eyes went wide, "If my number ends up in one of your videos I'll kill you."

Sirius winked at her before pulling back and moving to her car.

"I'm not kidding, Sirius," she glared at him as she unlocked the car.

He laughed as they both climbed in. She turned to threaten him again only to find him leaning across the center console.

"Don't worry, Marls," he tucked a curl behind her ear, "I don't want anyone else calling you to go grab dinner."

He kissed her then, and Marlene finally just told the part of her brain that felt this was too surreal to shove it. She was kissing Sirius Black and she had no plans of stopping.