#You are Under Arrest

[draculaugust]

Ahem This is the FBI we are here to Arrest you on account of Complaining about “public transportation,” which we all know is Strictly Unamerican. Officers will be at your Location Shortly

Love,

FBI

⚠️⚠️ CW: AMERICAN POST ⚠️⚠️

i wish i could take a bus to the library :( or maybe a coffee shop also. that would be nice :(

🚫🇺🇸🚫 WARNING OVER 🚫🇺🇸🚫

[cosmiclion]

Not to be horny on main but,

If I go into a bedroom with this man one of us will come out pregnant and it won't be me.

[moodyvoid]

Mr. Compress, in the back of a cop car: “Could you possibly turn up the AC? It’s a little stuffy in here—”

Cop: “Stop talking.”

Mr. Compress, on his phone: “Yeah, I’ll be back at the hideout shortly.”

Cop: “What— how did you get your hands free? Are you on the phone?”

Mr. Compress: “Yes, I’m on the phone— Sorry, Dabi, my chaperone is being impolite.”

Cop: “Chaperone??”

Cop, pulls over and looks in the back seat, Mr. Compress is gone.

Radio: “Do you have the suspect detained?”

Cop: “I did.”

Radio: “What do you mean you did?!”

Cop: “I don’t know, he disappeared!”

The car starts up and drives off.

Cop: “HEY!!! STOP!”

Mr. Compress, blasting the AC.

[writer-room]

Obsessed with Jay fully knowing he has lightning powers, but tucking that shit so far back down it's right next to where he keeps all his insecurities. By which I mean I know damn well he is SO bad at hiding his element. The toaster in the break room is on the fritz and he goes over to fix it and winds up sparking it back to life on accident. Someone bursts into his office when he's playing video games and he startles so bad he sends an electrical shock through the controller and blows a fuse. He's out on a mission in the middle of a storm and whenever anyone touches him they keep getting zapped with weirdly powerful static.

He insists no one knows. The truth is that most people don't know because the Administration would have to do too much paperwork if Jay actually had powers so they live in blissful ignorance. The few that do know keep their mouths shut and decide it's just a quirk of their weird manager. Jay's humming the mission impossible theme under his breath every other day, which is probably why he never even bothered to get to the "huh, I wonder why I have these weird powers" stage. And he will continue to not think about it until he dies. Or Nya finally finds him and has a meltdown over her greatest fear coming true. One of the two

[reluctantbylerblog]

I need to be so fr right now but I hadn't seen the "friends. BEST friends. cool 😏" episode in full since it originally came out and just. holy shit. mike was flirting HARD. will was looking soulful and tearful and just very cute and honestly kind of clueless? like, will was just having a friendship moment with mike while having feelings for him, but he wasn't really flirting? meanwhile mike was capital F flirting. that boy has NEVER had that kind of interaction with el. he was flirting with will so hard I could almost mistake him for having game

[ballpitwitch]

[worstloki]

love the concept of the 8 other realms being very well-known throughout the wider galaxies but Asgard is considered obscure knowledge that even if someone has heard Asgard then the name is all they know

[kingburu]

[fic] Carry You Home (1/1) [COMPLETE]

Link: AO3

Pairing: dabihawks; Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo/hotwings

Rating: M

Word Count: 36,970

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academia

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Angst/Enemies to Lovers/Fuck Buddies become Love Buddies

Summary: Post-war, Todoroki Touya is pardoned from his crimes, while Hawks gains a new title: the Dabi Whisperer.

Preview:

“So—um,” Natsuo says next, “Do you and Hawks know each other at all? We invited Hawks-san because we like to have lunch with him. Sorry for the surprise—but the more the merrier, right?” Dabi slurps noodles once more. “Did you…um,” Fuyumi adds next, “ever run into each other?” “I tried to kill him,” Dabi says next. “I burned his wings.” There’s a squeak. Natsuo’s and Fuyumi’s eyes widen. “Don’t worry,” Hawks reassures. “I lived.” “Stubborn bastard,” Dabi grumbles almost immediately. He lifts the bowl to sip broth. “I threw him out a window.” “I lived then, too,” Hawks reassures before they can have another scandalized gasp. “Don’t worry. It’s how he shows his affection.”

[rotting-clowns]

The thing about rosekiller is that they have to at least be a little weird. Unhinged, for flavor. They don’t have to be batshit in every au, but you gotta make them be little freaks one way or the other. It doesn’t work unless they are, it’s the magic of them

[bibuckagenda]

Buddie posts I think deserve immediate jail time. 10/?

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

EVERYBODY BEHOLD THE CUTEST BOY E V E R OMG I SQUEALED, BABY MAN!!!!! NEW CYBIRD ART OF THE SILLY DROPPED THIS MORNING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY:

Link to the original post below!

[plutonium-sky]

…. I think there may be a reason why he walks around without a mask-

Shitpost under cut thats inspired by a dream

[ofide]

you cannot argue that young adults should be legally forbidden from having sex and also say that you believe in bodily autonomy. and even if you think talking about people in their 20s having sex is icky do you think the obvious consequence of that line of thinking is not that young adults should also not be allowed to make their own medical decisions or vote?

[nahokura]

Let me be the "Yes, you are" to your "Am I being detained?" And "Am I under arrest?"

[bayetea]

one of the big things people talk about in ttc is how messed up it was that percy was the one who had to break the news about bianca to nico instead of grown ass man chiron or whoever else. and I'm not saying I don't agree with that but I think that at the end of the day it's just a lame plot contrivance because percy needed to be the one who saw nico run off from chb and bear witness to his underworld powers for the first time. like only percy and no one else, hence why percy keeps nico's godly parent a secret from chiron through most of botl

and I think that's especially true because in tlo when beckendorf dies, chiron does have a line where it seems like he's going to pull silena aside and talk to her when she runs up to the group and asks where beckendorf is (I don't have the exact quote on me but he was basically like "Uhh silena maybe we should go talk about this in the big house--" and then he gets cut off because silena can intuit what happened already). definitely not saying that the old horse isn't an irresponsible guardian so much as I'm just calling it what it actually is: a plot contrivance that doesn't make much sense but it's necessary for the story

[brilliantorinsane]

It just occurred to me:

In Pennsylvania Gun Morrel and his partner tamper with evidence because they're convinced that if they tell the police the truth, the partner will be wrongly accused of murder. Holmes exhibits a decided affinity for Morrel.

In Texas Cowgirl, the episode immediately following, Holmes tampers with evidence because he and his client are convinced that if they tell the police the truth, the client will be wrongly accused of murder. Perhaps he learned something from his crime buddy!