#Yo Han is a bit complex sometimes

[amethystina]

i have a question. One which may point out my slight lack of media literacy, but I must ask. It's clear from reading the snippet of who holds the devil chapter from Yohans pov that he is more than willing to wait. currently, in chapter 41, he seems to have given up. Has he actually given up or is some part of him still trying to give gaon time?

This is a little tricky since the answer is both yes and no. Or maybe I should call it a third, secret option? xD

Yo Han hasn't given up on waiting as a concept — even if three months have passed within the story since that chapter I wrote from his POV — but he's been forced to admit that he might have been waiting for the wrong thing. Like, if it was just a matter of waiting for Ga On to get used to his feelings and attraction to Yo Han, he could wait a lot longer than this. He's patient and in no rush whatsoever. He can give Ga On as much time as he needs to get over his internalised homophobia.

The problem is that given what has happened lately — and everything Ga On has been saying and doing — Yo Han is, understandably, under the impression that Ga On is still in love with Soo Hyun. Ga On might be attracted to Yo Han but that's not the same as being in love with him. I elaborated a bit on that subject in another ask which you can find here.

In chapters 38 and 39, Ga On flat out said that he loves Soo Hyun, but never specified what kind of love. He didn't explain that he now suspects that it's more platonic than he first thought. But Yo Han of course assumes its romantic love since why wouldn't he? And Yo Han knows it's pointless to wait for Ga On to fall out of love with Soo Hyun. Sure, it might happen eventually, but how long would that take? And is Yo Han truly willing to submit himself to that? To wait for months — maybe even years — on the off-chance that he can become Ga On's grief rebound?

He's got too much pride for that.

Essentially, there's a pretty big difference between "I think this boy is in love with me and while he doesn't want to admit it right now, I can wait until he's ready" and "this boy I thought was in love with me is actually in love with someone else and waiting for him to maybe fall in love with me instead is going to take a while and will probably be excruciating for me."

The first he can do without problem, but not the second.

So while it looks like he's given up and is no longer waiting, that's only because he's under the impression that he's misread the situation and has been waiting for the wrong thing. But if Ga On were to explain to him that the first option is back on the table? That Ga On does want to be with Yo Han after all because he's a little gayer than initially advertised but he's also a bit scared to admit it?

Yo Han would be sceptical — and understandably wary — but he'd also be willing to give waiting another try. Because as long as he knows that he's waiting for something that's actually possible and worth the wait, he'll do it.

I mean, he would also make Ga On jump through a couple of hoops and drag it out a bit just to soothe his own bruised ego — payback, if you will — but he's willing to wait for as long as it takes if it's for the right thing.

And, deep down, he hasn't really given up. He's telling himself that he has, which is why he's acting all distant and trying to put so much distance between them but, even now, some part of him still feels a tiny bit of hope. He's hoping that he's wrong. And that Ga On will come back to him and say that it's all a big mistake.

Yo Han is too in love to give up this easily.

But that hope will eventually dwindle, especially since Yo Han is going to become more and more convinced that Ga On can't love a monster like him. Yo Han already has a list of reasons why it would be foolish — or even outright dangerous — for Ga On to love him and, unfortunately, it's only going to keep growing. But we're talking months down the line, so Ga On still has time, don't worry.

So, in short, Yo Han isn't actively waiting anymore, but that's only because he's misunderstood the situation and thinks he's been waiting for something that will never happen. But if they're able to clear that up?

Then he'd be back to waiting.

Hope that helps! :D

[maystea]

Made by: ? , with love.

The Devil Judge has a lot of hidden small details which are actually pretty important for the plot. Sometimes they can be in facial expressions, sometimes it’s actions that show what is going on, and sometimes it’s words or simple mismatches.

While rewatching The Devil Judge one more time, I got a question about what Ga-On was eating in Kang’s mansion before he started to cook for Yo-Han, Elijah, and himself. So now, I want to speculate on all the variations that are shown or hinted at in the show.

— Option one: Instant food.

The most obvious one, and maybe the easiest to think since we have seen that Elijah eats instant food, Yo-Han eats instant food. Ga-On ate ramyeon when the Professor came in in episode eight.

But it’s not the thing because of two reasons. The first one, Ga-On doesn't approve of eating such food as complex meals, even though he doesn't mind having it with Soo-Hyun in episode two.

When Elijah asks him to make her ramyeon and to bring it to her, Ga-On looks at it with bewilderment and thought that can be heard even from here: “That won't do.” His next decision? To make a “simple” breakfast that looks more like a royal banquet.

The second reason is just a simple mismatch in time. He couldn't cook for himself the first meal while sleeping and being affected after the explosion. Yet, from the tray that Ms. Ji successfully broke, we see an easy-to-cook but still a plate or two of homemade food.

— Option two: Ms. Ji.

This one would explain the tray, and what Ga-On ate that small amount of days. Also, it’s logical for her to cook for a guest in the house where she works.

Ga-On's glad when Ms. Ji is preparing to start to cook for him. He even invites Elijah to eat with him, even though she resists, saying “she (Ms. Ji) put in the effort to...” and stops only when Elijah raises her voice at him.

Ga-On wanted to try Ms. Ji’s food but it turned out she was banned from cooking and after ignoring the rule of not being in the mansion after the sun has set down, was reminded of its existence (someone was just trying to save his husband’s receptors, but about it a little bit later).

...but well, he will eat more then. And when the lunch is ready, Ga-On’s excited when he sees all the main and side dishes on the table. “You're a great cook,” says Ga-On trying the soup... and understands that there was a reason why she was prohibited from cooking.

An important note is that Ga-On doesn't say “so I've been eating your food all this time,��� or something similar to it. He just asks since when Yo-Han banned her from making dishes (with a readable attempt on his face to save his poor tongue from everything he tried a second ago).

And the last thing that proves this theory’s non-existence is the conversation in Elijah’s room. Even though Ga-On laughs, he asks with the betrayal on his face: “why didn't you warn me?”. He never ate Ms. Ji’s food and has never thought that someone would add truffle oil to kimchi.

— Option three: Yo-Han.

Let me explain this one. Yo-Han does cook. Maybe not that often, not for everyone but the fact remains: he cooks.

We see a hint to it in episode five when he comes home and asks if there’s something to eat, and Butler already wants to count on the ingredients when Yo-Han stops him, asking if there’s something to heat up and eat.

Another hint is the bottle with pasta in the kitchen. It got almost empty with the difference in just two episodes (from episode four to the beginning of episode six). Ga-On didn't cook anything with pasta for Elijah as an apology, nor did he cook something with pasta for Yo-Han.

And the way how Ga-On sighs and says “let’s eat like normal people,” when he made that breakfast makes sense since Yo-Han thinks he doesn't know the taste of food, so Ga-On’s meals probably weren't that delicious... but they still were made with love.

Bonus: ...are we really talking about kimchi here?

[suranflower]

Moon lovers. Scarlet Heart: Ryeo final thoughts (aka Layla you are too late for this train)

This is the last text post on this I promise I'll shut up now.

I have so many feelings... this will be all over the place but here I go.

About final episode

First of all, if Soo and So had met in a different time... Things would have truly worked. So needed healing, Soo needed maturing and loosing her innocence, but later she also needed healing and comprehension. That was something, that, due the circumstances (like the absolutely unhealthy environment they were in -this affected Soo the most- and their absolute dependence on each other -this affected So the most- or the fact pretty much everyone was making them feel guilty for just being together) they couldn't quite give each other. I would like to see the re-encounter in present day, but the ending was nice, in my opinion. I think So really needed to come to terms with himself in order to be with Soo, or with anyone else, romantically or not. By the ending and the way he let Baek Ah go, I'd say he was finally reaching that point.

I would have liked that he had let her go when she said she wanted to leave the palace, that she couldn't stand that life anymore. If she couldn't have escaped with Jung and would have stayed there forever with So as he pretended, she would have died. She would have died full of hatred, resentment and unhappiness. With Jung and her daughter, at least she had time for healing, for coming to terms with herself and start overcoming her traumas, a time for being happy, at peace, and remembering, but also forgetting.

Second, I'm mad at So for, apparently, treating his son so coldly and with so little love. It's not the kid's fault if his parents don't love -and to a certain point even hate- each other. Doesn't So understand that by doing that he'll only make it worse by raising a child that will become just like him? A walking trauma full of hate? That by leaving the kid only to his mother -like King Taejo did- he will become her toy, her particular monster like Yo was to Queen Yoo? Also, the epilogue-ish tells us that he was a wise king... But through his actions in the drama, I don't see it, to be honest. I see he progressed in the end, but he was generally driven by resentment, hate and his so called love for Hae Soo. He didn't think things coldly. He would often change his mind. He was emotionally and in his personal affairs, very unstable. And he did get rid of his cousins, nephews and the brothers that didn't directly support him.

Some of the things that happened in the drama in the political part of plot are very lacking and not credible, especially the later reign of Yo and what we saw of So's reign. The part involving the defeated kingdoms and princess Woo Hee was especially lacking the whole time. I feel her storyline and the later Eun/Soon Deok storylines didn't quite fit in, to be honest.

Also, I am firm in my opinion that, after all, the only person that truly loved Hae Soo, regardless everything, no matter what situation they were in, the only person that showed full support and was constantly there for her expecting literally nothing in exchange ever, was Jung, the 14th prince. Along with Baek Ah he was also the only one that never used her for reaching his means or justifying his own actions and ambitions. The fact that he raised her daughter as his own says a lot.

The ninth prince didn't have the terrible death I wanted and expected, but at least he died feeling guilty lol. But ok.

Also, while I understand the general hate for Yeong Hwa, I think she, too, had her motives and I think none of us, as viewers (and the show's writers to be honest), took the time to really understand her. She was not just a power hungry woman.

I think this is all, more or less. I just wanted to add that I really, really like Choi Ji Mong's character. It was very enigmatic, but also endearing and I would have liked to see more of him.

General opinion on the drama

Overall, it was a very nice watch, that was an emotional roller coaster.

The plot was addictive (I pointed out before how it was a little lacking at times, and the script itself however was a little... idk), the performances were good (some better than others, I'll talk more about this later), the cinematography was stunning (where did they film this? Because it's breathtaking, I'll save money and go on a trip there, for real), the makeup and dressing was 10/10, all characters were very well rounded and the soundtrack was very good (especially the espectacular instrumental. I found the constant use of the songs from the ost, especially three of them a little irritating, though all the songs were very good and I like a lot many of the artists involved) all together with a decent editing. I would have made last episode a little longer than the rest, to explain the ending better. The middle episodes (around 7 to 14) were the ones I'd say I enjoyed the most, while episode 1, and episodes 18 and 19 were the ones I liked the least.

I'd like to get deeper into the acting part because there were so many characters and most of them played major roles in the plot development.

I loved Hae Soo/Go HaJin, and how she progressed even though in the last couple episodes I felt something missing, I couldn't explain what exactly. I'll confess, IU is the main reason why I started watching this. I listened to her music while studying and found I really liked it and loved her lyrics, so I decided I would watch her actress face as well. IU's acting was generally very good, maybe a bit lacking at times though, but you can see that she really did put a lot of effort here. In the final episode her acting was especially good. I would have loved that they showed us more of Go Ha Jin before she time-traveled. For someone that got her heart broken and lost her best friend too, she doesn't even think about it twice.

Now Wang So. I have a bit of a love/hate realationship with him. I love how well constructed his character is and also his development. I could write a whole super long post about him. Overall I think he needed help, help to overcome all his traumas. I think he could be a really toxic person, but I also think he could have worked to be better in this sense. Whatever, I don't want to extend this too much so let's jump to the person portraying him. I absolutely in love with Lee Jun Ki. He did an A+ job, making such a complex character accessible, a person that could be terrifying and ruthless but also deeply human and fragile. I am willing to watch more of him. And he has a cute smile too.

Now, the rest of the princes. I'll admit both Baek Ah and Wang Jung own my heart (reasons explained above). I think both Nam Joo Hyuk and Ji Soo did decent jobs portraying them, though I like them better in other roles. Baekhyun did a good with his funny, childish and playful character, the lovely Wang Eun. We didn't see much of Wang Mu (who I liked, he was a good guy) and the 9th prince Wang Won (who I hated as said before). And yes, I didn't forget about these two: Wang Yo and Wang Wook. I think these are both very interesting characters, especially Yo. He is So's nemesis, counterpart, brother, but also they are in many senses exactly one and the same. I'd love to see more of his reign and how he survived. Hong Jong Hyun was great as the bad guy™. Kang Ha Neul delivered amazingly well, too, portraying the nice, apparently perfect 8th prince in the beginning and progressively going to the cold hearted Wook in the end. Like with IU, I felt his portrayal could have been better at times.

I think the rest of the royal family did great jobs and I loved the presence of both queens and king Taejo. I already expressed my feelings for Yeong Hwa. She is a character I liked but that I think was misunderstood by both the audience and even the writers. I'd add that, to be honest (and like I said I like her character and find her interesting) I didn't like Kang Han Na's portrayal.

With the rest of secondary characters, since they are so many (and I already spoke about Ji Mong) I'll say I loved all ladies in this show. Really. All of them. I am absolutely in love with Oh Soo Yeon and honestly, Woo Hee Jin is a babe who did an amazing job playing the part. Chae Ryung was the sweetest girl in the world,

Lady Hae deserved everything good and I loved the way Park Si Eun portrayed her. Park Soon Deok was amazing and Z.Hera has gained a place in my heart. Woo Hee was an amazing girl too, and a good character, but I felt she was so misplaced in the overall storyline... sometimes I felt her character was there only to be a love interest for Baek Ah or for showing Seohyun as an actress (she did a decent acting as well, it was just that her character was too out of place).

And this is all. It's over and I'm glad I took the time to watch this and laugh, and cry and fangirl with it. I hope if you watched it you enjoyed as much as I did and find in my words something to identify with or discuss with, and I hope if you didn't watch you do and don't read this because so many spoilers lol

[estamosunidosus]

Farmhouse Paint and Sip

Why is that we stop doing those activities that relax us and let our imagination wander? /  Por que sera que dejamos de hacer esas actividades que nos relajan y dejan que nuestra imaginación vuele?

Who does not remember childhood drawing, coloring, making figures with clay, gluing pom poms and eyes, cutting paper and so on... and still don’t know why is that we stop doing those activities that relax us and let our imagination wander and be transported to the deepest part of our being , that soul of us which gives us life! When Michel and I plan activities and experiences to vlog, we always think about the diversity of options offered by the city, and we try to include a little bit of everything. We do it this way because when you are looking for ideas as of what to do, no matter what your mood is, you can check our vlogs and find all sort of activities that motivates you to get out, relax and enjoy life! Life is not only action and movement, it also is relaxation and rest. Sometimes we can find it in the simplest and most basic activities, such as drawing, coloring, painting and better said, being children again. This time we had the fortune of visiting Farmhouse Paint & Sip. The atmosphere of this place will inspire anyone. The building that accommodates this space to paint and drink, was remodeled and decorated by the hands and minds of its owners, Thaime and Jesus. When you visit Farmhouse Paint & Sip, you will notice the artistic stamp and the passion of their owners for what they do. . These places where you can go to paint and drink and/or taste some food, have been very popular in recent years. Farmhouse Paint & Sip, with its decoration, makes the place a magical space where you will be surprised with the many options they have for you, so you can feel like a true  artist. Painting on canvas with written instructions or with an instructor, and also wooden signs with typography. These wooden signs make Farmhouse Paint & Sip a unique place! Those wooden signs turn out amazing!!!! Taking advantage of the opportunity that Farmhouse Paint & Sip offers to create wooden signs, Michel and I chose this route instead of painting on canvas. The experience of its owner Jesus with the plot, gives a total different touch to this place, because thanks to his experience, Jesus can create the necessary stencils for the signs that you can paint in wood, as you will see in our vlog. Michel and I, we chose our logo and the Youtube logo and both look  super professional!

The staff of this paint and sip location will kindly guide you from start to finish. There are several ways to make sure you can make your masterpiece ... by arriving there and choosing a design with detailed instructions on how to do it and reserving your spot in advance on their website to be part of a session directed by an instructor where you will be guided every step of the way. Keep in mind that if you want a customized stencil for a wooden sign, you need to call ahead of time and send the file you wish to paint for them to have the stencil ready when you get there. As if all that wasn’t enough, the place also offers party packages for adults and children. In addition, the place is available to be rented as a party hall! And as  you know, more inspiration comes when you drink and eat. Well, the bar is ready to serve all kind of delicious drinks, the coffee bar offering will warm your heart and the delicious finger foods and snack will keep your belly happy while you let the inside artist take over the night. For one of those happy, even romantic, days, Farmhouse Paint & Sip will surely make you relax, inspire and let your inner child out. It is proven that any form of art connects you with yourself, relaxes you and makes you forget the complexities of life, moving to the enjoy the present moment and allowing you to explore your abilities of concentration, creativity and joyfulness.

Check their website for more info:http://bit.ly/FarmhousePaintSipEstamosUnidosUS

SPANISH VERSION

Quién no recuerda la infancia dibujando, coloreando, haciendo figuritas con plastilina, pegando pompones, ojitos y recortes de papel… porque sera que dejamos de hacer esas actividades que nos relajan y dejan que nuestra imaginación vuele y se transporte a lo más profundo de nuestro ser, el alma que nos da vida!

Cuando Michel y yo planeamos actividades y experiencias para vloggear siempre pensamos en la diversidad de opciones que ofrece la ciudad, y tratamos de probar de todo un poco, para que cuando estés en busca de ideas y estes de cualquier humor, puedas consultar nuestros vlogs y encuentres allí una actividad que te motive a salir, relajarte y disfrutar de la vida!

La vida no es solo actividad y movimiento, sino también relajación y descanso, y a veces podemos encontrarlo en las actividades más simples y básicas, como el dibujar, colorear, pintar y mejor dicho, volviendo a ser niños otra vez.

Esta vez tuvimos la fortuna de visitar Farmhouse Paint & Sip. La atmósfera de este lugar  inspirara a cualquiera a dejarse llevar por la creatividad. El local que da cabida a este espacio para pintar y beber, fue remodelado y decorado por las propias manos de sus dueños Thaime y Jesús. Cuando visites Farmhouse Paint & Sip te darás cuenta del sello artístico y la pasión de sus dueños por lo que hacen. .

Estos lugares donde puedes acudir a pintar y beber y/o degustar algo de comida han sido muy populares en los últimos años y Farmhouse Paint & Sip con su decoración que hace del lugar un espacio lleno de magia, te sorprenderá con las opciones que tienen para que te puedas sentir todo un artista en potencia: canvas y letreros de madera con tipografía. Estos letreros en madera hace de Farmhouse Paint & Sip un lugar unico!

Aprovechando la oportunidad que Farmhouse Paint & Sip ofrece para crear letreros en madera, Michel y yo escogimos esta ruta en vez de pintar en canvas. La experiencia de Jesús en el ploteo, le da el toque diferente a este lugar, pues gracias a su experiencia, Jesús puede crear los estenciles necesarios para los letreros que puedes pintar en madera, tal y como lo verás en nuestro vlog. Michel y yo, escogimos nuestro logotipo y el log de Youtube y ambos quedaron super profesionales!

El staff del lugar amablemente te guiará de principio a fin, en toda la variedad de ideas para usar el canvas o madera, los pinceles y acrilicos. Hay varias maneras de asegurarte que puedas realizar tu obra artística… llegando ahí y escogiendo un diseño con instrucciones detalladas de como hacerlo y reservando con anticipación tu lugar en su página web para ser parte de una sesión dirigida por un(a) instructor(a) que te guiará de paso a paso.

Por si no fuera poco, el lugar también ofrece paquetes para fiestas para grandes y chicos. Además el lugar está disponible para ser rentado como salon para fiestas! Y cómo la inspiración llega mejor con el beber y el comer, Farmhouse Paint & Sip te ofrece un menú de botanas y bocadillos que están para chuparse los dedos… gracias al toque y buen sazon de su creador Jesús.

Para una de esas tardes alegres, y hasta romanticas, lo que ofrece Farmhouse Paint & Sip seguro te hará relajarte, inspirarte y te sacara el niño o la niña que llevas dentro, porque está comprobado que cualquier forma de arte te conecta contigo mismo, te relaja y te hace olvidarte de las complejidades de la vida, trayendote al presente y permitiendote explorar tus capacidades de concentración y creatividad.

Para mas informacion, checa la pagina web de Farmhouse Paint & Sip

http://bit.ly/FarmhousePaintSipEstamosUnidosUS

https://youtu.be/UFg_oLNeMBs

[music-research-strategies]

Characteristics of Bone: A Memorie

https://amerarcana.wordpress.com/

...bone represents the very source of life, both human and animal. To reduce oneself to the skeleton condition is equivalent to re-entering the womb of this primordial life, that is, to a complete renewal, a mystical rebirth. 

-Mircea Eliade, Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy 

The characteristics of bone describes the music of Glenn Spearman (tenor saxophone) and Marco Eneidi (alto saxophone). They have moved beyond bone now, yet bone is eternal. Civilization can never defeat bone. For the sake of the memory of Glenn and Marco, I will skip the rigmarole of making an acrostic of their names, and whatnot. You need only to find recordings and listen: listen to their material. You need to run it down from before the beginning for yourself, and after. Many others are more qualified than I to give detailed accounts of the lives of Glenn Spearman and Marco Eneidi. It was only dumb luck and poverty that led me across their paths in the first place. 

I was homeless San Francisco in 1993 just a few months after coming from San Diego. I came up Highway 5 to attend the state university. I had even sold my drum kit to barely afford the essentials. This is when I discovered the infamous San Francisco burrito and the salsa verde, which my buddies still refer to as “the drug.” El Castillito made them huge, by San Diego standards, and the wasn’t far from my place on 26th and Alabama. My job at the recycling center at school didn’t pay but once a month. I had to starve in between checks. Not dire by any account. I loved it. I was a Creative Writing student after all. I’d starve and smoke and nibble and drink wine. Within a month of living in in the city, sunrise to sunrise. I was pushed out of a ratty apartment in no time. I discovered Food Not Bombs and Homes Not Jails through the Epicenter Zone, a Punk community center. They had a switchboard hot-line service for those in need. No one really had cell phones or the internet. I made my way to a Homes Not Jails meeting. They had left over free soup from Food Not Bombs. A dude I met there let me crash in his attic. Jeremy Graham. We talked about what I thought was music and I what I thought was literature. He is a lawyer now and still comes to my shows 23 years later. Jeremy gave me a tape of John Coltrane’s last album “Expressions”, Frank Wright’s “One for John” album (with Bobby Few and Noah Howard), and Glenn Spearman’s Double Trio.

“...(Cecil) Taylor drafted (Glenn) Spearman for a big band…(t)hat led to a few gigs with Cecil’s other bands, a seven-piece group which played for dancers, and a six-piece Cecil Taylor Unit including (Raphe) Malik, Jimmy Lyons, William Parker and Rashid Bakr ‘That’s where I got my advanced degree in music,’ says Glenn.”  

Bassist Lisle Ellis has been a great conduit for me, and the other young pups I ran around with. Lisle was a later addition the Glenn Spearman’s Double Trio. He was the only one as far as I knew. I saw them perform as much as possible. Great musicians, bunch of dudes: William Winant (percussion), Donald Robinson (drum kit), Chris Brown (piano), Larry Ochs (saxophones), Lisle on bass and Glenn. I still don’t really know the other guys well. Lisle linked me to pedagogies and practices of the Creative Music Studio in New York around the mid-70’s, Don Cherry, Cecil Taylor and beyond. Plus, he remains super accessible. He ran a workshop out of his apartment in the Upper Haight in San Francisco. Had us doing all kinds of exercises. He introduced to me violinist India Cooke which led to trio project, ESP, with bassist Kimara Dixon (a dude, now in Atlanta). She was teaching me to listen demonstrating loads of patience. Lisle joined us once on stage at Beanbender’s in Berkeley. India, Glenn, Chris and, maybe, Willie, back then, were on the faculty at Mills College. Larry was/is a part of ROVA Saxophone Quartet as the “O.” He performed the “Bedouin Hornbook,” back in the day. Donald fixed cars and drove the smallest car. It only fit a driver and drums. It was a Le Car or old school Honda Civic or something. Simply legendary. 

India and Glenn were my Black Arts Movement - West. I uncovered Ishmael Reed and Marvin X a bit later, after music. Many Black artists, intellectuals and Creative Musicians passed through the San Francisco Bays’ industry of thought, but I wasn’t really hip to it at the time. I was a struggling student and political activist. I staunchly rejected MTV and Hollywood because Chuck D, KRS ONE and Bad Brains told me to, thankfully. I switched majors from Writing to History to Philosophy & Religion and kept yo-yoing in and out of school. I kept up political education and service-based activism. Francis Wong, Jon Jang, Fred Wei-Han Ho and the Asian Improv Arts crew were quite explicitly positioned the music in an international, multi-ethnic nexus of resistance strategies and cultural progress. Rest in power, Fred. His book Sounding Off!: Music as Resistance / Rebellion / Revolution. There remains a lack of radical analysis and language amongst my community of Creative Musicians. Jason McGill and I interviewed back when Royal Hartigan gave him a residency at San Jose State. We heard Free Jazz as get-free-or-die-motherfucker! Years later Fred warned me about my academic language and intellectual tendencies. Fred was an action man. I mean, you just gotta talk to people and build. I find myself now digging through the past relationships and realities I simply missed in the ol’ Bay Area Creative Music scene. 

Unlike most cities, homeless persons, street persons, are quite visible up and down certain streets at all hours in San Francisco. I saw my fair share working with organizations affiliated with the Coalition On Homelessness. People have many reasons for escape, I can’t judge. What got me was that I recognized myself in the blatherings and bangings of some ecstatic urchin, high as fuck, banging away on buckets and pans for change, or for no reason at all. I stopped and stared not knowing if I was seeing my future self. A child of an alcoholic, though never an excessive user of any such thing, I only sought something behind the music I craved and worked through. Chasing Creative Music made me feel how that tripped out dude looked. People on the day to day are truly Improvisers: improvising a meal, a living, a laugh, so-called sanity. Navigating these streets and institutions will sure put you on a different plane. Just like how solitary confinement creates insanity. The complexity of the Double Trio saved my life. People say that kind of thing sometimes, and when it’s true it’s true. ROVA also turned me out. Composer, all around musician and bassist for Earth, Don McGreevy recently reminded me of all legacies of complexity, wonder and mastery that we inherited from this continuum of Creative Music. The bar is quite high. 

I was hungry for that essential transmission from improvisors with teeth. Experiencing the Double Trio was a kind of an initiation. My crew of musical and personal allies were transitioning into Creative Music enthusiasts at the same time. We imbibed all that we could. Performances spaces took on a sacred and profane quality. I only spoke to Glenn once or twice. I interviewed him on the phone after he quit doing chemo. He said he only wanted to self-medicate and finish his work peacefully. I trust that he did. 

Last I saw Marco, it was in February 2015. We ran across each other in Vienna, Austria on a Tuesday night. I was hunting for him. Black Spirituals, my band from Oakland, CA, performed while on tour with the iconic drone Metal unit Earth, from Seattle. We found ourselves in the fortunate circumstances of having our meals, booze, venue and sleeping accommodations all under same roof, or rooves in this case. European venues do it good that way. Drink up and load out in the morning, like a human being. I befriended a Viennese chap, an artist or philosopher unlucky in love, who joined me in a cab at midnight. We cut through the immaculate city in search of Marco. We found him, gray-faced and dogged, preparing to go home. He had been running the New Neu York/Vienna Institute of Improvised Music. Dude looked exhausted as he greeted his former apprentice, sort of looking past me. He was looking for his bed, no doubt. The poor bastard exchanged a few words and promptly left after informing us how avoid the entry fee at the venue door. He disappeared into the night, into history, and, all too soon, into the awaiting arms of the ancestors. I guess I thought he’d be a buoyant Henry Miller with a tart over one shoulder, tobacco smoke pouring out over too many words, a fifth in his breast pocket, and rubber soles under his heals. I think I just wanted to see his horn-playing stance one last time. That night, though, I performed improvisations with no-non-sense, badass musicians and threw back a few with Hans Farb from Festival Konfrontationen in Nicklesdorf. He knows all my Free Jazz family intimately. He is like an uncle I never knew was out there. 

Several years before, during one of Marco’s orbits from Vienna to the San Francisco Bay Area, I was able to host him. I booked a gig at Omiiroo Gallery in Downtown Oakland. It was my duty to spotlight him, feed him, give him a $100 bucks, and the stage. My man Githinji set it up. He taught me how to make Kenyan black-eyed peas for the occasion. “Gotta use coconut milk, brottar.” I arranged for additional catering from the Afghan spot down the street. And since the gallery didn’t have a proper bathroom, I made further arrangements with the Afghans to keep everybody comfortable. My band at the time was called Mutual Aid Project, a free jazz collective. We had undergone and performed the very first iterations of Decolonizing the Imagination together. Nick Obando (alto saxophone), Tracy Hui (guitar) & I performed composed analyses and democratic spaces to confront the tenets of colonization that brought our peoples to this land and still persist in our everyday lives. Rarely work with such deep cats. However, they were rightfully annoyed with me because I opted to perform solely with Marco. The next night, I must say, we opened for him at the Hemlock Tavern in San Francisco with Jamaaladeen Tacuma (electric bass), Lisa Mezzacappa (acoustic bass) and Vijay Anderson (drums). That gig with Marco was mine. My brother was shooting video, sort of. Some hot, young thing was sitting in the front row. My pops and his lovely wife brought their friends up from Oxnard and down from Napa-tasting. See, it was my dad’s birthday. I felt like an apprentice when I first pulled Marco’s coat and now I was a journeyman. We did two sets. I never released it. It’s just a thing I had to do. 

In early 2000’s, I worked with Marco as his sometime drummer. He was the kind of guy who lived in a van in NYC, so I heard, and schlepped his axe everywhere. Someone actually stopped me from doing that myself when I lived in DC. Back