#Yes it's silly! Yes the writing is very rough or unfortunate in a few episodes! Yes some of the drama is contrived at times!

[jack-of-heartstrings]

I hear you, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. It's honestly so ridiculous, because a lot of the same people will turn around and be totally fine with or even positive toward the same kind of obsessive interest in other things. Look at like... the elitism in a lot of older Mainstream Nerd Media(TM), like Star Wars or Marvel/DC comics for example, where you get the opposite problem of people gatekeeping unless they deem someone obsessed enough with their thing. Or like, you know, Sports Fans and how all-consuming that can get. But sure, being into stories we find interesting is totally different and inferior just because they happen to be animated and written in a way that's easily accessible to younger audiences. No double standards there! [/sarcasm]

Anyway you're very valid and tons of cartoons slap. And you know, even if a show IS "bad", at times or just in general, you can still find it fun or comforting or otherwise enjoy it for whatever reasons. People need to chill and let others enjoy stuff in peace, damn.

not to pull the "wahhh im autistic!" card everytime ppl make fun of me for liking a kids cartoon but. its very. in my actual experience. in my own personal experience as an autistic person, who has struggled so much due to it, really hurtful when people put down me for liking a kids show, as if im "stupid" and cant comprehend things. sometimes i cant comprehend basic things, yknow, the autism, childrens shows have always helped me during meltdowns, have helped me articulate emotions and get through things. thats pretty integral to my experience w autism. i watch adult shows, i read adults books, actual adult stuff, i do not post much about it, but thats just a personal preference as someone who mainly posts about the childrens centric things i like, i do sometimes but. yknow. its just not my Main Thing online.

i know its tired to say "dont make fun of that guy for liking a baby show hes autistic" but itslike. you shouldnt either way really. and also people who deflect this wanting to make fun of people more. itslike. does your solidarity with autistic ppl really end when theyre a bit too into a kids show. thats a litte pathetic.

in my experience, i do genuinely get upset and defensive to an embarassing degree when people make fun of the kids show i like, but i think its a little warranted when a lot of that making fun does imply that people are stupid or have the minds of children. i am an adult who struggles really hard with adult things too, i just also happen to like a kids show, and i get pretty sad when people are mean about it intentionally.

[flor3nces]

help me | spencer reid x fem!reader

AHHH OMG i am so in love with this. my heart yall. my heart :(. ugh im so so proud on how this turned out. this is sort of based off season 15 episode 9 “face off.” n e wayssss, i hope you enjoy this because i sure enjoy writing this <3

going alone was a mistake. i knew that the moment i spotted both of our unsubs together. two against one. it wasn’t going to end well. i should’ve called for backup when i had the chance but i didn’t.

“fbi! put your hands where i can see them!” i yelled. they turned around and my heart stopped for a moment. “drop the gun.” marcus was ruthless, he’d shoot a federal agent if he had too, or if he even wanted to.

marcus dropped the gun. “kick it over here. anthony drop the backpack.” he dropped the backpack just as his father kicked over the gun. i needed to pick up the gun and put into my holster before marcus even tried to make a move to get it back.

having to pick up the gun meant i had to let my guard down. i thought over it for a moments but kept a straight face and gun pointed at them. i started to lower my body to the ground but kept looking up every few moments.

it wasn’t until i got to the gun, that i completely let my guard down. i turned my head towards the gun, and that’s when i heard the gun shot. i didn’t have enough time to react as it hit just under my arm.

the gunshot sent me into the air. i landed roughly onto the concrete. marcus and anthony got into the car just a few moments after and sped off. i turned my head as the car rushed past me. my vision started to get filled with black spots but i didn’t let myself close my eyes.

i coughed and a bunch of blood came out. more and more blood gushed out. i was certain that at this point i was laying right in a pile of my own blood. tears welled up in my eyes as i started to cough again. blood covered my entire mouth and spilled over the side of my face.

spencer’s voice rang in my ears but i couldn’t move my arm to even try and let him know that i was shot. “y/n? where are you?” only a few moments passed before his voice came back. “y/n, do you copy?”

i couldn’t do anything. i just laid there, bleeding out in a garage of some building. i’d probably die in here if no one came in here.

footsteps. they were coming closer and closer. i didn’t even try and move my head. “y/n!” spencer. it was spencer. i wasn’t going to die after all. at least not here. “we need an ambulance, y/n’s down!” i heard spencer yell into his mic as he put pressure on my wound. “you’re going to be okay, okay? stay with me, y/n.”

i tried. i really did but my eyes were starting to get heavy and i was getting fairly tired. “no, no. hey, look at me.” i let my eyes find spencer’s face. “that’s it, look at me.” i coughed again and more blood came out. just as i was losing conscious i heard the medics rushing to spencer and i.

“stay with me, y/n.” i heard some woman say as they put me onto the stretcher. they put an oxygen mask over my face and wheeled me into the ambulance. that’s when i blacked out.

SPENCER’S POV

i watched as they wheeled y/n into the ambulance. i felt a hand on my shoulder. “go, we’ll find them.” i turned towards jj and sent her a tight lipped smile before running off to get into the ambulance before they took off.

“is she going to be okay?” my voice was shaky as i spoke. the nurse gave me a small smile. “she’s strong. she’ll make it.” i nodded at her words and held y/n’s hand.

it wasn’t until we got to the hospital when things went wrong. just as they were about to wheel her into a room her heart stopped. not only did her’s stop, but so did mine.

they ripped her shirt open and started to try and get her heart running again. i just stood there, helpless. i watched as the first try in getting her back, didn’t work. her body jolted as the defibrillator came in contact with her skin. “again!”

i watched as her body jolted once again. “she’s back!” i turned my head towards her heart monitor so fast, i could've gotten whiplash. and her heart was back to normal, or at least running again. thank god. i wasn’t going to lose her, at least not today.

“are you her husband?” a nurse i’ve never seen before asked me as i watched them wheel her away. “no, she’s- she’s not married.”

“are you her boyfriend?” i shook my head. “okay, i’ll call you when she’s out of surgery.” i walked to the waiting room they had for federal agents and waited.

the team called and asked to give them updates. penelope called and asked if she was okay, as soon as i answered the phone. “yeah, she’s in surgery right now.” i heard her let out a sigh of relief.

“please, call me as soon as you hear something.” i told her, i’d try and make her one of the first to hear about her condition.

it seemed as if i was waiting for hours. i ended up falling asleep only to be awoken by a smiling nurse telling me that she made it. i jumped out of my seat and asked to see her.

“of course, she’s in a coma right now. but she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” the nurse told me as she lead the way towards her room. i thanked her in a small voice before walking into her room.

as soon as i saw her laying there. with so many iv’s attached to her arm, tears welled up in my eyes. i stood by her, reaching over to push her hair out of her face.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, y/n. i should’ve realized that you were missing sooner. but i didn’t and because of that you almost died.

i can’t imagine a world without you. and i know how corny this is going to sound but, i would’ve hated myself for the rest of my life if i let you die without telling you how i feel.

truth is, i’ve loved you were since you walked through those doors. which is 6 years, 47 days, 5 minutes, and 39 seconds ago from now. i thought it was just a silly crush at first and i’d get over it but i didn’t.

the moment i realized that i might lose you cause my heart to stop. i’d say world but you’re my world. if they didn’t get your heart beating again, i would’ve lost my world...”

i stopped for a moment to let out a small chuckle. “just, please for the love of god, please wake up. i don’t know what i’d do if i lost you. please.. don’t leave me.” i didn’t even notice that i was crying until a tear landed on her hand.

i wiped it quickly. i pulled up a chair next to her bed and laid my head beside her arm. my eyes shut and i fell asleep rather fast.

i was awoken again by fingers going through my hair. i lifted my head up and turned towards the source. “hi.” y/n’s voice was a bit rough but it still came out as soft as she could make it. “hey. how’re you feeling?”

“well.. despite being shot, i’m okay.”

“that’s not funny. i thought i almost lost you. your heart stopped, you know?”

“i’m sorry, i just don’t want this room to be all sad.”

“no, it’s alright. i’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“hey, it’s okay. i’d be the same if this were to happen to you.”

her hand found mine and she began playing with my fingers. “you know, i was putting up a hella of a fight before i eventually lost?” i looked at her as she spoke. it was as if nothing else in the world matter because i didn’t lose her. i still had her and it wasn’t really the best moment to tell her how i feel but before i could change my mind the world came flying out of my mouth.

“i love you.” silence engulfed the room quickly. “i love you too, spence.” y/n said after a while. “no, not like that. y/n, i’m in love with you and i have been for the past six years.”

i avoided eye contact with her at all cost as i just confessed how i felt towards her for the longest time. “spencer, look at me please.” i slowly looked up and met her eyes.

her pupils were very dilated and i couldn’t believe i didn’t see it sooner. “god, you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to hear those words.” her giggles filled the room and it felt as if my heart would burst from my chest. “i’m in love with you too, spencer.”

a huge smile made its way onto my face. in fact it was so big that it started to hurt. “now, are you just going to sit there smiling like a huge dork or kiss me?” i laughed at her words and leaned in to kiss her,

and i know almost everyone says this and i truly didn’t believe them at all when they said that they felt as if fireworks were going off or that there were butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, when you kissed someone you love. but goddamn, i sure did believe them now.

unfortunately, we had to pull away as our lungs were begging for fresh air. “wow.” i laughed at her expression. “yeah.” she softly kissed my nose and leaned back, smiling up at me with the softest smile i’ve ever seen on her face.

“oh my god! why didn’t you call me?!” i heard penelope yell. y/n turned her head towards her and smiled. “please, don’t yell. my head already hurts enough from these lights.” i watched as garcia gasped. “oh! i am so sorry.”

YOUR POV

“wait! so he confessed his undying love for you?” penelope asked as she had gotten settled in. spencer left to go try and help with the case but called every 20 minutes.

“yes, and then he kissed me. my gosh, can you believe it penny?!” she let out a squeal. “was it magical? did you feel butterflies in your stomach?” i nodded at her words and let put a dreamy sigh.

“we have to tell the others!”

“no. not yet, please. i just want to enjoy for a few days before telling the team.”

“oh sweetheart you know i can’t keep secrets.”

“please, penelope. can you try?”

“of course! you, my gorgeous friend, just got shot. i will do everything in my power to keep quiet.”

“thank you.” just as we were about to watch a movie on garcia’s personal laptop, spencer walked in. “ugh. you have the worst timing ever, boy wonder! we were about to watch a movie but now that you’re here she’s going to have all her attention on you.” penelope whined.

“nice to see you too, garcia.” spence said as he looked at me confused. i shurgged as i knew that she wasn’t about to let him have any of my attention. “watch this moive with us. she’s not cleared to leave until tomorrow so until then i’m going to stay here with her.”

“no, that’s okay. you can go home peneople. i’ll stay here with her.” i watched as she give him the biggest death glare i’ve ever seen her give to someone. “i am staying her with her, you can leave.”

“okay, why don’t you both stay here.” i look at garcia as she nods her head and presses play on her laptop but not before giving spence another death glare. i lean up towards spencer’s ear. “if looks could kill, i’m pretty sure you’d be dead by now.”

“trust me, i know.” we both giggled. i gave him a soft kiss before cuddling up into him and turning my attention towards the movie.

[toomanysurveys9]

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? yeah. i do have some days like that where the only thing i do is care for wy and everything else just gets forgotten and left alone.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? unfortunately that has happened a lot this pregnancy. What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? i’ve never seen any of that show. Have you ever experienced something paranormal? i thought so at the time, but no. definitely not. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? couple hours? i don’t know. it’s rare that we get stuck in traffic very long around here.

Best field trip experience? one of my favorites was in elementary school when we went apple picking. i really want to take wyatt. Have you ever been to New York City? i have not. i would like to visit sometime though. If so, is it all its cracked up to be?

i’ve never been there. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? for just myself, like, $10 or something. maybe $15 now after we went to cheddar’s a couple weekends ago, actually. What museums have you visited, if any? i have visited a few. i don’t know all of their names. Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? yeah, or at least left most of the work for me to do. What’s your worst traveling experience? i don’t know. most of them ended up great, even if there were some rough patches. one time on our way to florida our van completely broke down. we were supposed to go for a little under a week, but my dad ended up leaving when we were all supposed to and had to get someone to bring him back to get us.

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? i don’t even know the difference. Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? not really.. Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? the last one was a social studies teacher in like 7th or 8th grade i think? Best muffin you’ve ever had? maybe the blueberry muffin from jan’s restaurant. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no. they didn’t have woodshop anymore by the time i was in high school. If so, was it required? ^^^ How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? not very long. i scroll a little, maybe share a few things or pictures of wyatt, and that’s about it. What area of math are you best at? Worst? i hate all areas of math. lol. english was more my thing. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? i mean, it’s cool i guess but not all that surprising.. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? nothing comes to mind... Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? not really. either you have to work for things, or it doesn’t happen. it won’t just happen because you were some awesome, or horrible, person. How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? not very often. only on my “bad” days. but i always try to be the best mom i can possibly be, no matter how horrible i’m feeling. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? i guess i do on occasion. like wednesday i did cos i ate so much, but i also overate by a lot. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? not that i can think of. How reliable is your internet connection? it was surprisingly better when we were at the trailer. it crashes more since we moved. i need to go talk to them about that. Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? it’s possible. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? giving birth in the not-so-distant future. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? all night, up until i had to leave for class pretty much. If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? i wouldn’t be surprised since basically everyone in my family wears them. If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? i don’t need glasses. How many vegetarians do you know? i don’t think i know any, but i might. Have you ever considered going to art school? nope. i’m not that artistic.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? not consistently, no. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? i don’t know. we generally don’t get anything super crazy. i think one knocked our power out for a few hours once? How quickly can you write an essay? depends on what it’s about and how long it needs to be. Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? in high school i fell asleep in a couple classes with a favorite teacher. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? nope. If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager?

no job. i’m a stay at home mom right now. Favorite episode of Spongebob? maybe the one where patrick and spongebob are taking care of the baby clam.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? i don’t think i have any silly or odd ones, no.. What bug frightens you most? spiders. and bees. pretty much any that can cause me pain.

Are your parents supportive of you? yes. definitely more-so than they used to be years ago. How often do you take the train to go places? i’ve rode the train once many years ago with my family to chicago. Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? yeah. it’s a habit. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? mock one.

[starco-conut]

Our Thoughts on Season 3

Hey everyone!! as you may have seen...Alan and I have been just a bit let down by some of the stuff going on. Luckily, we’re both huge ass nerds so we wrote it all out in a multi-paragraph post. With visual aids! if you’ve been feeling a little offput by the new episodes but can’t place why, we probably have your reason put into words somewhere in here. 

Reviews, replies, general additions to this post are not only permitted, but strongly encouraged!! :D

bold is nicole. italics is alan

Scent of a hoodie

I mean. one word summary;... Uncomfortable. it was rough to watch my girl obsess like that and honestly??? there was no clear message at the end... with the whole ‘the scent is in ur heart....’ do they mean to imply she’s getting over marco or that he’s always gonna be around in her mind??????????. yeh. not much to say here.

this episode was kind of strange and felt really awkward with star’s obsession with marco but had a sweet ending with star learning that its really unhealthy for her to latch onto marco like this and its time to move on. it felt like one of those iffy episodes throughout most of it but the end was decent enough

Rest in Pudding

Her little monologue to glossaryk was super cute and well done!! that whole bit was just. Good! felt like Old Times! but then there’s

This was... a gag? I dont know. when i saw it first my gut reaction was that they were setting up some angst about how star’s calling people on earth that aren’t her best friend Marco and THAT got me!! i was Ready To Be Hurt by that! but then like...nothing. Unless it comes up in a nearing episode this was just a bad joke. overall episode wasn’t bad at all though!!

i really enjoyed this episode! the pacing, mystery, and comedy all held up to the Star standard and only had a small amount of plot progression which felt appropriate for a halloween episode. my only gripe is that after the whole Battle For Mewni deal, i expected Moon to believe Star a bit more when she says Glossaryck is alive

oh yeah that too for sure

Club Snubbed

pretty much made me want to die and barf simultaneously. when it got to the scene above, where she talked about just needing a friend i thought, hey, thats cool. and accurate. maybe that dance scene clip, since its unfortunately not a flashback, is going to be presented as platonic!

nope. anyone in for a suicide pact?

To be fair, i should elaborate. Tomstar, in theory, is super cool. I definitely vibed with the fire and butterfly magic mix happening, back when I thought it was a flashback. But...Its been, what, 5, maybe 6 episodes since marco left and she’s already just...whoop? who’s marco? haha what? There’s not enough time. 

And from what I can tell, none of their old issues have been addressed. Tom still has anger issues, but because ‘its hard’ and he’s ‘trying’ suddenly star’s all over him? sleazy ppl come to their exes like ‘i’ve changed!!’ for a reason. the ex should actually. want. to see. change. Star seems content to say ‘fuckall, tom’s here, why not’

WHICH..could actually be good? If it’s presented that way? My hope is that she’s latching on to Tom because they have history, and a bond already. Marco’s gone suddenly, she’s urging for somewhere to direct her affection- lord knows the sweet girl has lots to give. and then they’ll part as friends after she realizes whatever they are now is unhealthy and ingenuine romantically. I have no backing for this and honestly it doesn’t look like that’s the way they’re going but... I’m gonna hope.

this episode definitely throws a spin on our view of tom as an “uncaring, lying, manipulative ex boyfriend” and for the first time i felt like i really saw Tom Lucitor, a boy with anger issues and an unfortunate history with his actions. i was really glad to see this character growth for him but i feel like the writers completely skipped over the real impacts that a relationship like tom and star’s had on each other. 

yes!! i didn’t say but, i kinda love tom as an independent character. his anger issues are presented as a part of his personality, he is a guy who has anger issues, not Anger Issues in a physical form. lots of cool depth on that.

realistically, star would not immediately fall back in love with tom because...why would she? we as the viewers know that Tom has changed but to Star? he has a significant history of lying to manipulate her and marco to get closer to them and star doesn’t have a real reason to believe what he’s saying is true and she shouldn’t have 100% faith in him so quickly especially when she had 0 trust in him just a few minutes prior. overall i was impressed with the development for tom but the future implications were disappointing to me

i will be talking more about my issues with Star and her trust issues later.

Stranger Danger

My only issue with this episode is that it doesn't exist outside of its own ten minutes. I literally forgot about it til i looked up an episode list of s3 to write this post. Eclipsa is sitting there, queen of darkness, in the same castle grounds as star, and shes nor the trial is brought up in the subsequent episodes. Alan goes wild on this one so I’ll let him take it away- he’s 100% on point here.

THIS IS A LONG ONE BOYS, STRAP IN,

i agree with nicole here, there is no buildup to the immense revelation that eclipsa is free and roaming the castle gardens. battle for mewni had planted the seed that eclipsa was breaking out but there was no mention of this in any other episode. and then there’s this:

what was this all about?? did no one notice that Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness, one of the most powerful queens and magic users in Mewni’s history, and a wanted criminal, was FREE FROM THE CRYSTAL THEY FROZE HER IN?? And in BFM, Moon even visits Eclipsa’s crystal prison to check if she’s still there but now? she didnt seem worried about it AT ALL. only when Star is peacefully talking to her does Moon and the magic high comission show up because...plot reasons.

aside from that, however, i feel like the pacing in this episode was not planned very well. from the opening scene of Star taking care of Glossaryck for well over 4 minutes, it felt like this was going to be a fun silly episode with general shenanigans (there’s nothing wrong with silly episodes, it just didn’t end up being one). but halfway through the episode, eclipsa shows up and suddenly the plot is moving at a rapid pace. and while this felt like it should have been the climax of the 11-minutes, the climax just continues? there is no falling action in this episode. it continues with star being decontaminated and at one point she is strapped to an examining table and flashes through some disturbing faces

why is she smiling? who drew this? this feels really creepy, like someone is putting their kinks into the show and its really uncomfortable to watch and think about. there is a heart touching moment with Moon and Star talking about their actions and both side have somewhat understandable reasons, though star clearly has the show’s bias so the plot progresses (which is not necessarily a bad thing). afterwards, Star meets Eclipsa in her cell and still, the climax of the episode has not fallen at all with all the arguing. and then finally when star confronts eclipsa in her tower, she says,

“Just because i didn’t want you crystalized again, doesn’t mean i trust you.”

????

She literally has no past with eclipsa other than having a pleasant conversation with her. She knows next to nothing about her actual actions or personality but immediately doesn’t trust her? but in Club Snubbed she immediately trusts tom? the guy who directly had severe negative impacts on her life?? Why?! Why are the writers so inconsistent? nothing makes sense! It’s cheap, forced romance that’s why!

and after this ridiculously long climax the episode just ENDS. there is no resolution, and it doesn’t touch on it again anywhere in the next four episodes. It’s bad show writing.

Demoncism

I picked this screenshot because it was the most disgusting!!! this is just...more of an opinion here but I really like the trope where one is out of their mind, dangerous, causing magic destruction and the other defies the risk and holds them, curing the issue with The Power Of Love. it’s corny but I love it. and yet.

here. they decided to just. chuck it in. I’ve seen shows do this trope Very Very well (oddly, one example i can think of also involves a wild demon kid and a forest in blue fire.....) but to just...throw this in there. with. like 8 seconds of buildup. n-o. no. ESPECIALLY because tom and star, where they are currently in the show, aren’t ready to be romantic, and this trope always has romantic implications.

i got extremely mixed feelings from this episode. on one hand it had a great message that you shouldn’t force change but rather to grow naturally and learn from your mistakes. on the other hand,  a lot of it is still tainted by this cliche, boring, romance. Star immediately barges in and claims that he’s only doing this for her and generally is untrusting of his actions. 

......

are you noticing a common theme here? writers purposefully twisting characters’ interactions for the sole purpose of causing drama? give me one good reason for star’s sense of trust to be flip-flopping like this over and over again. im being serious, if you even read this far, leave a reply and call me out because i CAN NOT THINK OF ONE GOOD REASON.

“Okayy, but no tickling.” Again, more creepy bdsm, moving on.

Then later when hes doing that whole floaty, blue veined, writhing scene i will actually commend the writers for making a very good analogy of how painful and unhealthy this process is for tom to quickly force himself to change. then star comes back and hugs him and says shes here for him which would have actually been a very sweet moment if they had just been friends but of course, they’re not. its just a reminder that “uwu they’re in love now”. and then there’s this:

confirmation that yes, the show is going to do that. rush star and tom’s relationship bc #teendrama. and the worst part of it is: star and tom could actually have been an acceptable, if not role model relationship if it wasn’t written so poorly, which is what the next paragraph or so is dedicated to.

I don’t hate Tom and Star’s relationship. I don’t. i see it as a missed opportunity. Tom and Star were two people who used to be a couple in the past and broke up for reasons unknown. we can speculate that it was because of Tom’s anger issues and problems with lying, and also Star’s inability to deal with complex situations and face her problems. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY COMMON REAL LIFE SITUATION. This was a ripe opportunity to go in-depth with Star and Tom’s issues, not just their own but also the issues between them. and it is wasted. I know that its hard to fit this into one measly episode but there’s a whole half season to develop them at a proper, realistic pace! i wouldn’t care if the entire season is dedicated to Star and Tom working to solve these issues if it meant we had this enormously important topic resolved in a healthy and wholesome manner. 

But the problem is, none of this happens. And it’s not going to. The writers completely skip over all of Tom and Star’s anger towards each other and go straight to “UWU THEYRE IN LOVE NOW”. Star is just rebounding off Marco and onto Tom and there’s going to be more unnecessary drama, and someone’s going to get hurt.

And I am disgusted.

Sophomore Slump

jarco saved this ep ? the only parts of it i could really relax and enjoy was the little jarco montage it was cute. and then. and THEN. the random dumping. I get what the writers were trying to say, y’know? ohohohoh, nudge nudge, we all know who marcos REAL best friend is...hohoho...except. they shouldnt have. said it. at least not via jackie. She was used in this disgustingly common way where she’s just there to deliver a message and help marco realize something. do y’all realize the most drastic adjective i can apply to her realizing she+marco wont work is like....”bummed”. It’s realistic to cry, to be fucking mad, to show...FEELING...i don’t care how cool and chill she is. It’s an absolute travesty to her to not let her be upset about it. 

AND THE CAPE. it was obnoxious, I hated his attitude about it, not because it was annoying but because he expected others to stop ‘acting weird’. I had hope when jackie knocked sense into him but then he...was then REWARDED for his obsession with it? He ended up getting what he wanted, a ticket back to Mewni, by being a stubborn arse about it. no.

god where do i begin. alright.

Marco was so out of character this episode. im not talking like “he isnt the safe kid anymore he takes some uncharacteristic risks”. no. I don’t know who this kid is but it is not Marco Diaz. He’s some plot device created by the writers to create drama. Why is he so obsessed with his cape? Why is he forcing his experience on mewni into every conversation? Why. Is he. The Croissant Girl. The dude spent over sixteen YEARS in other dimensions going on quests of epic scale and comes back home without a single issue readjusting. Not one word. but then he spends one week in the butterfly castle and serves essentially no purpose the entire time other than freeing Star from her chains one time. He was completely and utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of the BFM movie. and then he comes back to earth and feels this great pride as if he was some great part of the event. Why? what does he have to be proud of? there was no mention of this development in any of the earlier episodes. and i havent even mentioned the ridiculous forced breakup yet.

at some point it seems like Jackie’s words really do come through to Marco. He snaps out of his daze and seems to genuinely want to make it up to her. the scene with Marco and Jackie having a fun date at the pier was incredibly sweet and was generally a good experience. We got to see more of Jackie’s fun side that we were desperately searching for in season 1 and the first half of season 2. it was very satisfying to know that jackie was a character everyone would eventually come to love. but then

that. Why? Why has Marco not moved on at all and learned his mistakes? why does he not understand that he’s being destructive. why do the writers like creating unnecessary drama. you know what show had a very similar plot issue and resolved this properly??

That’s right! Everybody’s favorite racist, ableist, offensive, generally unfunny show: The Big Bang Theory. I don’t even remember this dude’s name but when he came back from space and was being annoying, his girlfriend talked to him and he realized that “WOW IM ANNOYING LET ME THINK ABOUT OTHER’S FEELINGS FOR ONCE.”

100%. if they had stopped with the callout via jackie, and he had actually taken off the cape, I would have been fine. lesson learned. but, obviously, they didnt do that.

 If this show (which has an incredible track record for doing crappy show writing) can get it right then why can’t Star vs the Forces of Evil? A show that is usually praised for it’s amazing talent for intelligent, easy to understand, and great moral messaging?

Because of the writers. They don’t want to teach important messages for these kids (the target audience may i remind you) to latch on to and learn from. They want to write their angsty fanfiction and throw it into canon.

Nicole-TL;DR my lasting hope is star’s affections for tom are, and are revealed as such, a way to cope with going cold-turkey on marco and things resolve without a stupid fucking love triangle also jackie and janna start  dating. aaand im just. disappointed with the show rn. something’s different and after shoving this amazing ass show in everyones face for so long just to see it kind of...well, it’s starting to peel. idk why. but im just hoping this is like...banagic incident but...several episodes long.

Alan-TL;DR 

[moonlitgleek]

Can you tell me why do you enjoy Glee? I'm not one of those who hate on the show for being LGBT-friendly, it's just that the characters are so inconsistent, the pairings are often forced and the storylines can be cringeworthy to really bad. Not that there isn't talent on the cast. I liked the earlier seasons, but I thought it became so nonsense later on... Maybe I'm not watching the way it should be watched, idk...

I’ve been sitting on a similar message for months now, trying to figure out how to respond. The problem with these messages that always leave me in a bind is that I do not think my answer would be really satisfactory to you. We all respond to media in different ways, have our own lines in the sand as to how much we can suspend our belief, like different things, etc. So I don’t know if I can really give you a different perspective on the show or anything; all I can offer is my own viewing experience.

I did not like the first season of Glee. I almost quit so many times during that first season but I was always pulled back and convinced to give the show another chance. Every time I planned to stop, a magical moment would happen - Mercedes singing I Am Beautiful, Burt telling Kurt that his job was to be himself and Burt’s job was to love him no matter what, the kids pulling a setlist out of thin air as Will listened and cried, the Glee club singing Lean on Me to Finn and a pregnant Quinn, Quinn giving birth to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, to name a few - and I’d be so moved that I’d decide to stick it out with the show for a little while longer. That’s not to say the first season was necessarily bad, I just did not enjoy it. The Will\Sue rivalry did not sustain the season on its own, I hated the Will\Teri story, I did not think the team gelled, and I wasn’t pulled by any of the characters.

Come season 2, things changed. I fell in love with the characters. My starting point in any show is the characters - if I can’t even like the characters, I can not go on watching even if the story is phenomenal. Season 2 got me interested in these characters as people, really delved into the characterization of the students and their stories which was a million time more interesting than Will, Teri and Sue. They introduced my favorite character, the writing got tighter, and they did a marvelous job with Kurt’s and Santana’s arcs. This was the season that cemented my love for Glee, aided by how much I started relating to these characters. I started to watch the show between seasons 3 and 4 when I was fresh out of college and feeling pressured to make it, scared that my academic success would not translate to a good career “in the real world” or that I just was not enough. So I understood these characters and their struggles. I saw my own fears in theirs. I related to them and rooted for them.

Now, I know that lots of people did not like the latter seasons but honestly, seasons 4 and 5 are my absolute favorites in this series. I genuinely enjoyed them despite some glaring problems. See, I watched Glee with my eyes wide open. I knew its problems and was infuriated by some of them: storylines that didn’t really go anywhere, stories that were set up perfectly but wrapped up sloppily, some obvious pace issues, big name guest stars that tended to become a plot black hole - if a big name guest star appeared, often the plotlines of the regulars got shelved in favor of showcasing said guest star - the writing even became reactionary at one point as some shippers took to social media to hound the writers over their ships, and Ryan responded by making a point through the writing. I saw all of that.But while I admit that there were issues worthy of criticism in Glee, I also think that there came a point where it became “cool” to disparage the show, and that fed to a widespread feeling of negativity towards it. I’d see someone lamenting how Glee stopped being silly and fun and now took itself too seriously but when the show did a cracky ridiculous episode like the ones it used to do in earlier seasons, it was criticized for being too silly and not taking its audience seriously. The writers got flayed for doing PSA episodes and I’d read think pieces on how they should employ subtle storytelling and not throw their themes in our face, but when they did so with their story about race - one of the subtlest and longest running storylines - it largely got dismissed because people simply did not notice it since Glee did not wave a red flag saying “this is a race story” (though honestly, when it did explicitly tell us it’s a race story in Asian F, some still failed to understand that yes, this is about race.) At one point, there was no winning for the show, everything was criticized.

One of my favorite things about Glee, though, is that it managed to sell me on things I thought I’d never accept and made me love characters that I wasn’t a big fan of even four and five seasons in. For the love of god, Glee somehow managed to make me really care about Dave freaking Karofsky which is a damn feat. Like, Finn and Santana were two characters that I’ve always struggled with. I outright disliked and resented Finn at the end of season 3, and then season 4 happened and my god, did I fall in love with Finn - that goofy, stubborn, supportive kid who stepped up, learned from his mistakes and became a rock to the younger generation. Santana was just intriguing in that season and she drew me in in a way that she hadn’t done before. Season 4 had its problems, but it’s the season that genuinely made me so attached to Glee. Blaine was a bloody revelation and a joy to watch. Sam somehow managed to steal my heart. Tina had really good material that I enjoyed to death to make up for three seasons of sidelining. The NND had a very rough start and the show struggled in the beginning to give the newbies distinguishing characterization that did not echo the graduated characters’ but once they found their groove, they became a team that I loved with all my heart, one that I enjoyed seeing interact far more than I ever did the previous team. Season 4 was primarily about friendships and support, it allowed the characters to fly their nerd flags and they felt like real teenagers in their silliness. And hey, very little Will. That was always a plus.

While season 5 was heavily impacted by Cory’s death, and despite how that forced the writers to throw away their plans for the season which unfortunately led to some storylines getting axed, I found it a solid season with some excellent episodes that capitalized and improved on the relationships they set in season 4, and that did a much, much better job with its pacing. I find it admirable that they managed such a good season after a heavy personal and professional loss as Cory’s death.

As for characterization, I disagree that it was inconsistent. Obviously I have no idea which characters you have in mind but the two characters I often saw this criticism directed at are Blaine and Tina, and I just don’t agree. The bones of Blaine and Tina’s later characterization are laid in seasons 2 and 3 if one looks for them, and can we really call them inconsistent when they were only truly fleshed out in the same season that prompted people to criticize their characterization? Because both characters were underdeveloped in earlier seasons. Butcharacters are constantly developing and I can’t expect the characters to be the same four or five seasons in as they were in season 1. As long as the change falls in line with previous storylines or expands in them in a non-contradictory way, then it’s not inconsistent. That’s not to say that I enjoyed every bit of characterization from every character (I was very vocal in my dislike for s4!Rachel’s characterization), but just because I did not enjoy it does not necessarily mean that it was inconsistent. That’s a line I had to find while watching.

But it all comes down really to the fact that I still found magic in Glee despite its problems. I found as much joy in On Our Way as I did in Ride Wit Me and as much beauty in If I Were A Boy as in I Am Beautiful. NND were even more important to me than OND were, Blam meant the world to me, as did Blaine’s struggle with his insecurities, Kitty’s journey, Jake’s anger, Ryder’s ridiculousness, Marley’s steadiness, Unique’s bravery, Rachel’s stumbling, Tina’s resentment, it all meant something to me. I loved these characters and was invested in their happiness and their success. I started watching Glee for the story of these underdogs standing up to the world around them and picking themselves up after they were knocked down again and again, I stayed for the sense of community and support they built against all odds which is something the show never lost, and I ended it with them, with Rachel Berry accepting that Tony, with Kurt and Blaine happily married with a baby on the way, with Mercedes successful and fulfilled. It ended with a show of friendship as these kids who stuck by each other through thick and thin gathered to support one of their own, and with that weird, crazy, dysfunctional, flawed group of people coming together to honor the person who made Mckinley just a little bit brighter for many of them. Perhaps he never got the chance to walk these halls as a teacher, or to become the teacher that future Mckinley students deserved, but he still left a legacy behind.

Moments like these are why I enjoyed Glee, and why, despite all of its problems, it remains one of few shows that touched me the most.

[myplusminus]

A message to my friends.

Today is my birthday and that marks 35 years of life, and 35 years of struggling with bipolar.

I posted a sort of desperate status not too long ago when I was in a bit of a state, and I realised that many of you don’t even know what’s going on with me – a few friends have suggested I write this to help people understand.  I’d also like to dispel some of the myths and stigma surrounding bipolar.

 HISTORY:

Bipolar can be genetic and it does run in my family.  Unfortunately my grandfather had it too.  He was a very conservative man who would be very unconservative when he was manic – sleeping with woman he shouldn’t (he was with my Grandmother) and doing drugs which he disagreed with otherwise amongst other things.  I also have 2 cousins with bipolar.

 TYPE:

There are a few different types of bipolar.  I have “bipolar 1” which is considered the most serious form of bipolar, described as:

 “Bipolar 1 is “classic” or “textbook” manic-depressive illness, with serious and damaging episodes of both mania and depression. In a severe manic episode a person can lose all touch with reality. Left untreated a manic episode can last anywhere from a few days to several years.”

 Although it is sometimes true, unlike the public perception of bipolar, I am not wildly cycling through moods.  For me it has been more slow-burning.  I can be depressed for 3 months to 2 years and at one point I was on and off manic for a period of about 3 years.  There are also many different types of moods such as “dysphoric mania” and “mixed” etc. but for the sake of simplicity I’ll just stick to depression and mania.

 I’ll start with MANIA:

 The public perception is that this is a great feeling, almost like a drug, like ecstasy.  I have experienced this kind of mania and it can be great.  Everything and everybody is fascinating, it’s great for socialising (most people love to talk about themselves and I will be full of questions), my brain seems to be working very fast, creativity is on overdrive and I could stay up for days studying.

The downside to this state is your inhibitions, morals and self-control melt away. I am a deeply moral person and rate my self-worth on my ability to be honour these morals.

When I am manic, I will happily barrel on through destroying everything I have made. I will buy all sorts of strange things off the internet spending all my money, tell my boss exactly what I think of them, sleep with people I shouldn’t, say incredibly thoughtless things to people I care about, destroy projects I have been working on for months etc.  

I can also be really annoying.  I remember repeatedly sending this picture of a dog (this one https://www.vexels.com/editables/preview/137533/dog-meme-generator#/) to one of my colleagues via instant messenger, then I emailed it, then I taped pictures of it to his chair/phone/desk etc. For some reason I thought this was hilarious and I didn’t seem to be able to stop.  I really pissed that guy off.

The more textbook “crazy” things I did that people like to lap up about us crazies is things like believing I was going to be abducted by aliens (I was 14, and fuck you Whitley Streiber) and having a full blown panic attack when a helicopter flew over our house, believing I could control traffic and that one time I went to China to start a business.

Now the DEPRESSION:

Eventually the mania wears off and I am left picking up the pieces of my damaged relationships, job, my belongings and I’m still receiving weird shit in the mail.

The gravity of what I have done fully hits me.  I go to work trying to be as invisible as possible, I could be absolutely blanked by previous friends, my boss is pissed at me.  I have to apologise to my family for the gazillionth time, I have no money for bills/food and I just want to curl up into a ball under a blanket somewhere and never come out.

I can get into really dark places.  The worst things my brain can imagine will present themselves in my head and I am helpless to stop them.  It maliciously discovers the things that are the most upsetting to me.  Dark, horrifying images, any bad thing I ever done and feel guilty about, reminding me on a very deep level what an awful, despicable person I am. The events are played over and over and over. I don’t feel like people properly appreciate the horror of this, I’ve described it there in a few sentences but I experience it for hours at a time, on and off for days to months.  As I said, this can go on for years.  I just go through the motions and do nothing but work, eat and sleep.  I stay away from socialising or any situation that could possibly go wrong - in case I screw something up there and have another thing to replay in my head.   And I’m still getting weird shit in the mail.

I am lucky enough to have an amazing tight family unit that loves me and either understand or just try to understand what I am going through.  They offer their support every time.  I will have picked up all the pieces and be starting to get better when it will happen again.  

The thing that cuts me the deepest in these episodes is how I am upsetting those close to me.  I just can’t handle that.  I feel so selfish.  Round in circles.  Pick up pieces, guilt and shame, start again, get better and round again.  It would be OK if this had happened once, or maybe a few times, but this has been going on the 35 years now.  Seeing what I am doing to my family absolutely kills me.  

RAGE:

Disclaimer – I have never physically hurt or wanted to hurt anyone other than myself. Apart from Jamie McPhee when we were 11 – he called me “jellybean” (a brilliant play on Billie-Jean) so I casually punched him square in the forehead as we filed out of class.  Anyway I’m not the psychotic murdery sort of bipolar and I’m not entirely sure if bipolar even causes that or if it’s something to do with the person.  What I do know is that I experience “dysphoric mania” which is like a really charged up, agitated feeling where I am irritated by nearly everything.  I basically act like an entitled child and slam doors and shout at everyone for daring to exist in my vicinity.  My family know I will blow up, insult everyone, take myself off for a few hours and usually come back and apologise.  Luckily I don’t experience this too much – these days I’m more aware of when I’m feeling like this and know to isolate myself with a book.

 OTHER SYMPTOMS:

And that’s just the main things.  Bipolar has a few other little tricks up its sleeve that you might not know about. Here’s some other things I’ve experienced:

-          CONCENTRATION: I find it very hard to concentrate.  I remember coming down with a low time once. I had been going to uni every day feeling fine and generally excited, as I had on this course.  Then one day I just couldn’t concentrate.  The tutors words were coming out and I was desperately trying to take them in.  Words on the board even seemed to be in an unrecognisable language.  If people asked me questions I’d have to ask them to repeat their question and even then I couldn’t really get it (at my worst). This is very embarrassing.

 -          MEMORY: My memory is terrible.  I have forgotten entire year long relationships before.  “Strangers” have added me on Facebook and when I’ve asked who they are they’re offended because we had been workplace friends for a year etc.  My psychiatrist says this is because during an episode, particularly mania, the brain is too busy doing other things to record memory.  I know who my friends are and a rough skim over of what we’ve done together but generally if you did deeper you’ll realise I don’t remember a lot of the things we did together.  I also forget my training and education, which is just great for my career.  I deal with that by taking excessive notes and setting plenty of reminders.

 -          SHAKING: I was once admitted to hospital after not being able to sleep for days and uncontrollably shaking my legs and sweating for the last day or so.  Naturally the hospital decided I was just a druggo trying to get a hit so they kept me in a corner of a hospital for a day, sent a psychiatrist in to ask me some invasive questions then sent me home still shaking and unable to sleep.  The scariest thing for me was realising that the professionals actually really don’t care.  I have had similar experiences since and not one of them has been good or even OK.

 -          AUDIO/VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS: I mostly experience sound (not voices talking to me). It seems to be little bits of sound that I’ve heard before mixed in with what I’m actually hearing at the time.  I’m used to it so I mostly just ignore it, the only problem is sometimes I ignore what I’m actually hearing too.  I also experience visual hallucinations.  Not huge and obvious ones but just generally seeing things in a darker light.  I once saw a child walking down the road with a hooded figure who looked creepy - grabbing them roughly and forcing them down the road, I was close to jumping out of the car to save this kid when the hooded figure turned out to be his Mum.  I’ve seen people step in front of the car as we’re driving and absolutely screamed only too look back and see they were still safely on the side of the road.  It seems to be just anything to terrify me when I’m in a dark mood.

 MEDICATION

Ah yes. Like anybody would think, I thought once I had my diagnosis I would now get the drugs I needed and all of this silly messiness would be over.  Not true at all.  The truth is that there is no cure for bipolar and all psychiatrists can do is try you out on medication after medication until they find one that works (pro-tip, the psychiatrists don’t know how to help you either).  Obviously it depends on your biology so this could carry on for some time if not forever. Lithium has helped curb my mania at least but nothing has stopped the depression.  With every medication change (yes, we are still guinea pigging away at 35) I am sent on a rollercoaster of emotions.  I also had one that made me chain-smoke for 6 months or so and, more recently, one that helped me give up altogether with no struggle (that’s the best one yet). Another was your typical zombie drug – it did cure all my symptoms, because I couldn’t get out of bed for 3 months, yay! And I was gobbling food like they were brains so I was a fat zombie. However unlike many people with bipolar, I have always taken my medication.

OTHER THINGS I’VE TRIED:

Meditation, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, psychologists, counsellors, social workers, giving up drinking and more recently smoking (yay!), breathing exercises, eating healthy, exercising, self-help books etc.

WHATS HELPED?

Animals, family, social workers. You guys. Bipolar forums and other people with bipolar/depression/anxiety.

 WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP?

-          Write to me and say hi every now and then

-          Sometimes I just need a cosy spot and a blanket and 3 days of doing very little to calm my head

-          Don’t be upset when I read your message and don’t write back to you.  I try to get there eventually, and I appreciate all the kind messages, I just struggle to respond sometimes

-          Accept that I’ll drop out of contact for periods

-          If you know my family, support them too

-          Don’t get upset when I cancel meeting up.  My senses get overloaded in town and I really have to be in a good space to choose to spend time there.  I often agree when I’m feeling good then get really anxious when it gets closer to the time (they don’t call me Billie McCancelCancel for nothing!). I’d much rather you came over and we took the dogs for a walk with a flask of coffee.

Really you have all been so wonderful.  Nobody said they “know how I feel” and you all just offered your time to chat if I needed it.  That’s all I need.  Thank you so much.

I’d love to sign off saying things are better and I’ll keep my chin up etc. But they’re not really that great.  With each episode my brain gets worse.  It sounds like I could get Alzheimers and I’m seriously not surprised with the way my brain acts lately.  Its not all bad, I still laugh a lot and can be absolutely fine for periods.  However I have attempted suicide 3 times – the most recent being a few weeks ago.  It’s an ongoing thing.  If you managed to make it this far then thanks for reading, I hope you understand better now.

[chandlermovestomichigan]

Spring 2017- The Semester So Far

I started writing this post back in February. And then I lost it because I couldn't remember what app I wrote it in. So yea, this is a pretty late time in the semester for a "mid-semester review," and may end up being more of a final overview. I'm okay with that.

In some ways, it feels like I'm still getting into the swing of things, so it can be hard to believe that I've been here for a month already (at least, I had in February). In other ways, it's like I never left.

Classes Overview: Renaissance - Dr. Gaetano It's a good thing that Dr. Gaetano warned us about all the reading we would have for this class, because yea, it's a lot of reading. But it's all good stuff. We started the course talking mostly about understandings of the Middle Ages, and now we've been focusing on writings on education. I guess the question of what makes up a good education has been on my mind a lot lately, so it's good for me to think about it in the scholastic/humanistic contexts. And, of course, I love history, and I like studying how people thought.

Intro to Journalism II - Mrs. Servold This is just like Intro to Journalism I but better. The focus is on feature and opinion writing. I like both of these better than news reporting, because even though interviews and research can be fun, I'm getting tired of the strict formulaic writing that comes with it. Features and op-eds are much more fun, and we've read some pretty great examples so far. This was the only midterm I've ever gotten higher than 100% on, which is just another reason I like this class.

Intro to Psychology - Dr. McArthur I signed up for this class last semester and dropped it after about a week because it was so much reading. Which it is. Most of it is pretty easy to understand, though. We recently (in February) finished the Biology section, which I'm glad about because I have a really hard time remembering that stuff. Much of my time on this class has been dedicated to a group project. We were supposed to present last week, but hadn't actually done our experiment yet. That's mostly due to my professor's inability to respond to emails in a timely manner, so luckily she doesn't mind us presenting late. The plan now is to do the experiments this week and present on Thursday, so I'll have to let you know how that goes. It's frustrating that it's taking so long, so it will be good to have it over. UPDATE: we finally did the experiment and it was super fun. We went to the preschool to test children's understanding of conservation. So for instance, I had two identical glasses with equal amounts of water, but once I poured one into a beaker, the kids thought the beaker suddenly had more water. Silly children. They don't understand that just because something changes shape doesn't mean it changes mass. Adorable.

US & the World Since WWII - Dr. Moreno It's hard to say exactly what I think of this class. We're covering a lot of material without going very in-depth, which you pretty much have to do to cover so many events in one semester. So I think I'm learning, but I feel like I could be learning better. Part of that is from putting off reading in order to focus on an upcoming paper (and other homework), so I'll be able to get on that next week. UPDATE: I've now had two papers in this class and I felt good about both of them. The first was on Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, and the second was LBJ's Howard Commencement Address. We don't choose our own topics, which is unusual, but it's worked out.

January highlights:

My dorm, Mauck, was redecorated over the summer/fall! And it's lovely. My room is big and blue and adorable. It's nice to have such a fancy dorm with air conditioning and all kinds of important things.

The improv group "Broadway's Next Hit Musical" came to Hillsdale and performed songs based on audience suggestions, one of which turned into a full musical. It was hilarious. They really did their research, too, and made some very Hillsdale-specific jokes (i.e. "Hillsdating), which added to the charm.

I started taking voice lessons (in addition to guitar still) for the first time since second semester freshman year. I'm really enjoying it! I have the same teacher, Kristi Matson, who I had before, and I like her a lot. I had this "irrational" fear beforehand that she'd try to convince me I'm actually a soprano instead of an alto like I've always sung, which turned out to be a perfectly rational fear. But I'm liking those high notes much more than I thought I would.

A friend approached me over Christmas break about helping him edit/upload online-only pieces for the Collegian website, so I started doing that. The section is called Study Break, and we cover a range of topics, from op-eds to fun listicles or other features. I really like editing! And it's good to know the ropes of the website.

February highlights:

I started a radio show! Well, my friend Sarah Schutte asked me if I was interested in co-hosting a show with her about the history of Hillsdale College, and obviously heck yes I was. Now, we record two three-and-a-half minute clips a week with fun facts and anecdotes. You can hear episodes of "Wait, What Happened?" on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM (also SoundCloud).

I met a Hillsdale alumna named Joy Pullmann, who is both an editor at The Federalist and a homeschool mom, so basically who I plan to grow up to be. Which I told her, and then she asked if I wanted to write for her. Which obviously heck yes I did. Here is a piece I sent her!

Somehow, I wrote in my planner that I had a midterm on February 9. Felt very unprepared. Realized 30 min before that it was on March 9. Relief.

Every year, the ladies of SAI call people and perform "Singing Valentines" around Feb. 14. It's always a good time. Sometimes people request really weird songs, which adds to the bizarreness of the whole situation. I called my mom and we sang "My Heart Will Go On," which apparently my dad wasn't thrilled with because she kept singing it all day.

I got an email from George Angell of the theatre department asking if I was planning to audition for the upcoming play he was directing. I wasn't, but he said he had me in mind for the female lead. All year, I’ve had this idea that if someone specifically asked me to audition for a play, and wanted me for a challenging role, then I'd do it. So that's what happened! Now I'm playing Doctor Mathilde von Zahnd in Durrenmatt's The Physicists. It's quite a show. I'll have to write a whole post about it later, for fear of spoilers. We open on Wednesday!

I went to Jilly Beans- this cute little coffee shop in town- with friends to celebrate my 22nd birthday! It was a lovely time.

My friend Sarah and I decided to pick up a little (as in, little sister) together in SAI. Unfortunately, the girl we chose ended up deciding not to join after all, which was a bummer. But, there's still next semester.

March highlights:

Mom and dad came for Parent's Weekend! Normally, they come in the fall, but my mom wasn't able to take work off. They got to see the new Mauck, meet our professors, and hang out with us. Mom ended up sticking around a few extra days and visiting classical schools, then she and I flew home together for spring break.

We all saw the musical "Kiss Me, Kate" that the theatre department performed. It was very cute and super well done.

We also saw paintings by Winston Churchill on display in Sage.

Hillsdale went on lockdown after a former student called in a threat. It was a little scary, but no one ended up being in danger. The student was caught that same afternoon. Certainly a strange experience.

We had SAI formal in the Mauck Solarium. I took my friend Noah. It was really fun! We mostly played card games and Bananagrams. And experienced a modern day photobooth- a selfie stick and props.

April highlights:

I attended Opera Workshop. The show consisted of different songs from various operas all centering around madness and death. It was really good, though pretty long.

I wrote an op-ed on why Hillsdale students should read up on the history of the college.

The SAI concert! It was fantastic! At least, I think so. Here’s a full video. and here is where I am: Blue Skies Fairest Lord Jesus Depreston (solo) thank you Dani and Giannina! Touch the Sky Another day of Sun (solo)

I went to Chicago with some students and professors from the History department. I'd never been before, and it was really cool! I mostly stayed with my friends Mary and Patience from SAI, and we wandered the Field Museum, the Navy Pier, and other cool historic spots.

The theatre honorary (APO) had an initiation, which was theatrical as always. I now have an APO little- my friend Jonathan Henreckson. His girlfriend is my APO big, Elena Creed, and together they consider themselves Regan's parents. So we have a bizarre little family situation going on.

I stayed on campus this Easter, which I somehow didn't realize was an option until this year. It ended up being a great call. I got some work done, got to relax, and went to my home church here (Countryside) with Regan and Matthew.

I'm sitting in a brand-new coffee shop called Rough Draft. It's charming and the coffee is very good. I plan to spend lots more time here.

Looking forward:

It's hard to believe the semester is almost over. Finals week will be here before I know it.

Right in the middle of finals week is the performance of Shakespeare in the Arb's Taming of the Shrew. I joined the crew last semester as the graphic designer, and somehow found myself with two small roles as well. I think it will be a good show. We've certainly put a lot of work into it.

In my penultimate semester, I will be taking:

Constitutional Convention – Rahe

Ancient Rome – Calvert

Biology (Human) – Johnson

Philosophy of Education – Beier

Voice – Matson

And of course, more writing for the Collegian.

I don't actually believe that I only have two more semesters. Maybe it will hit me soon.