#Yes I am going to write that au damnit

[inastarlesssky]

I probably spent way too long on this, but this is a graphic I made for the Ocean's 11 Dramione AU I will be writing in the future (not very soon but I promise, I will write it) called The Monégasque Affair.

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

I love how you write soldier boy…would you be able to write how he reacts with a spider-woman reader…she’s just swinging webs all around him and his old man brain cannot handle it. She’s a fit as a fiddle and she’s stressing him out because she will not just…sit down! (Preferably they’ve been dating for ages) 💖

More Than a Spider Can

masterlist

pairing: soldier boy x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 1.4k

warnings: language, talk of sex, the boys spoilers

timeline: set in an au shortly after the events of season 3

author’s note: another request!? i’m genuinely flattered! sending you so much love anon, thank you! this was so fun to write, and something i never would’ve thought of! thank you so so much!

gif source

You’d have to thank Butcher one day for introducing you to the Supe you now lived with. He had needed a place to “hide” Soldier Boy shortly after the Supe incapacitated Homelander. You were hesitant at first, but Soldier Boy had just de-powered the most dangerous person on the planet, you had to help him out!

Butcher claimed it wouldn’t be for very long, but Soldier Boy never ended up leaving. Not that you minded, he was surprisingly sweet. You expected him to be a complete asshole but he wasn’t as bad as the stories you’d heard.

After about a month you took him up on the offer he’d made the first second he saw you. You spent a night together. Then another. And another. And a few more. And before you could overthink it, you said those three words that he then repeated.

With Mallory’s help, Butcher managed to clear Soldier Boy’s name, and even get the two of you a job at Supe Affairs (which was now run by Hughie since Neuman was running for Vice President).

So now, here you were; asking Hughie for clearance to go after a Supe who’d been stalking their ex.

“Y/n, there’s no actual proof this guy is doing anything you’re saying he’s done!” Hughie said.

“Hughie, the witness is a friend of mine. She’s not fucking lying about this!”

“I believe you, but I need proof before I let Soldier Boy kick his ass!”

“Soldier Boy won’t lay a hand on him, you have my word.”

“Oh, so you suddenly have control over Soldier Boy?”

“No, but I am faster than him! I’ll have this guy webbed up before Ben even gets there.”

“Ben,” He laughed a little. “Still can’t believe you’re dating the guy. Figured you’d hate Butcher for dumping him on you, but turns out you fell in love.”

“Okay,” You rolled your eyes at his teasing. “Just shut up and sign the damn form so I can get this asshole.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. But you better be sure Ben doesn’t break any fuckin’ bones. I’m tired of cleaning up your boyfriend’s messes.”

**

“What the absolute fuck…” Ben furrowed his brows, walking into the kitchen. “Y/n!?”

“Yes?” You asked, clinging to the roof.

“God-fucking-damnit woman!” He exclaimed, putting a hand to his chest. “Why does our kitchen look like a spider puked in here?”

“I’m just making dinner, Ben, calm down! I’ll clean this all up when I’m done.” You hopped down from the roof.

“You…” He tried opening the fridge but it was stuck. “Y/n, I’m trying to stay calm here but why the fuck can’t I open the fridge?”

“Sorry,” You smiled with cringe-clenched teeth. You opened the door for him.

“So why are you on the roof?” He asked when you jumped back up.

“I cook better when things are upside down,” You shrugged with a smile.

“I sure do wish your mouth was close enough to kiss, though,” He sighed dramatically, you rolled your eyes a little. You let yourself down a few feet, hanging on a string of web.

“I think kisses are better upside down too,” You smiled. He kissed you, smiling against your lips.

**

“Dinner is served,” You smiled, holding two plates as you walked into the living room.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Ben smiled when he took a plate. He furrowed his brows a little when you didn’t sit down right away. “Aren’t you gonna eat?”

“Yeah, of course,” You replied. Before Ben could say anything, you jumped up onto the roof before letting yourself hang upside down on a string of web. “What’re we watching?”

“Uh…Smallville,” He nodded slightly. “It’s…what was on…” He trailed off a little as you began eating upside down. “Honey, wha…what’re you doing?”

“Eating dinner?” You furrowed your brows. “Why? Is something wrong?”

“No it’s…all good,” He replied.

“So, you think Homelander ever watched this show?” You asked, half-heartedly.

“No clue,” Ben mumbled.

“Oh, by the way! Hughie gave me the thumbs up for going after Cara’s ex.”

“Cara?”

“Yeah, my old neighbor, you met her. Her ex is that creepy Supe who’s only power is x-ray vision and all he does is hang around outside dressing rooms and Victoria’s Secret stores.”

“Uh huh?”

“Anyway, Hughie gave me his location, I’m going after him tomorrow night. It’s no biggie if you don’t wanna come with me, it’s not gonna be much of a fight.”

“No, yeah…I’ll get the next one…have fun.”

There was about thirty seconds of silence before you put your plate down and swung your way over to the kitchen. You came back a moment later with two cold beers.

“Okay, would you stop!” He suddenly snapped.

“Ben?”

“You- Just- Goddamnit Y/n, I wanted to just fucking sit with you and watch this show but you’re on the fucking roof! Are you mad at me or something? Why don’t you want to relax with me?” What started off as an angry expression turned to one of hurt, which broke your heart a little.

“Ben, I’m not mad at you!” You exclaimed, hurrying down from the roof and sitting next to him. “I’m sorry, I just- I dunno, I don’t think much of it. I just like being off the floor.”

“It does look pretty fun,” He mumbled. He pulled you onto his lap, keeping your back pressed against his chest. “But sometimes I just want you here on the floor with us non-spider-people.”

“Okay, I’ll try and walk around like a normal person,” You huffed. “But only cause I love you so much.” You turned and kissed him quickly before focusing on the TV.

**

“Ben, what are you doing here?” You asked him the following night. “This is my case, I’m supposed to bring this guy in.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t pretend you aren’t thrilled to see me,” He smirked.

“Of course I’m happy to see you,” You smiled, putting a hand on his cheek. “Just let me take the lead on this one, okay?”

“Fine,” He sighed.

“Are you two gonna eye-fuck all night or can we fight like regular freaks and get this over with?” The man at the other end of the street shouted.

“Think I’m gonna eye-fuck her a little longer if you don’t mind!” Ben called back. “I take it back, I’m bringing this asshole down!” He smirked then took off down the street.

“Fuck,” You mumbled to yourself. You knew full well you were faster than Ben but you didn’t like showing him up all the time. “Oh well.”

You thwiped a thick piece of web to a billboard above the street and hurled yourself up and onto it. You then ran down the side of a building and landed on top of the Supe before he could see where you were. You had him webbed up like a fly before Ben even made it down the street.

“Seriously? You take all the fun out of this!” Ben grumbled. “You can’t just web the guy up! I was in the mood for some ass kicking!”

“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you so much my beautiful girlfriend, Y/n! Because of you I still have a job at the bureau and now we can go relax in our apartment because you managed to take down this Supe in record time!’ Then I would have said, ‘of course Soldier Boy! I love you so much and you’re very welcome’.”

“I love you too,” He mumbled.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you?” You asked, walking up to him. You wrapped your hands behind his head, running your fingers through his hair.

“I love you too,” He rolled his eyes a little.

“Come on, just kill me, I’d rather that, then watch this!” The webbed-up Supe groaned. “Y/n, I thought your type was guys your age, not-” He was cut off by you webbing his mouth closed.

“What does Campbell want us to do with this asshole?” Ben asked, not letting his green eyes break contact with your love-filled ones. You tilted your head a little and smirked. “What?”

“You just called Hughie by his real name,” You giggled. Ben thought about it for a second and sighed with annoyance when he realized you were right.

[stephsageek]

What projects do you have lined up right now?

I'm glad you asked! Irl, I'm a very busy girl, so there will be times when I can only spare an hour or two to brainstorm, outline, write, and edit. Tough with ADHD 😅 but I AM currently chipping away at "He Sleeps with the Fishes: The Hoffa Job," the latest installment of my ongoing Five x Lila AU. If you like action-packed comedy hijinks and have a love for history-- this is the series for you!

I'll post under the cut what I have written so far (there is no Five and Lila, but for readers worried about our intrepid FBI agents-- this will be a treat! It also features a sneak peak of the next story in the series, "A Killer From A World Filled with Killers: The Kennedy Job"):

Agent Bill Reynolds found himself blinking.

His vision was totally filled with a brilliant white light. The light was blinding, a physical, all-consuming thing. Kaleidoscopic prisms cascaded across his vision. For a brief delirious moment, he felt far from his body, an airy nothingness that made the light all that existed. He hung momentarily, suspended.

Jesus fucking Christ. Am I dead?

He couldn’t seem to move, too stunned to even try. He couldn’t hear anything, besides a persistent ringing in his ears, and a steady rhythmic noise, hidden underneath.

Bill could not seem to parse its origin. It seemed to come from all directions at once.

Slowly, the sound became clearer.

It was a voice, calling, over and over.

The word it kept repeating was garbled, a nonsensical bleating noise like the yelp of an animal.

It was like hearing a language you don’t understand, the tone conveying concern, but what it meant hung at the edges of his understanding, just out of reach.

Was it a siren? An alarm?

“—ill! Bill! Bill!”

Agent Bill Reynolds gasped as his blinked into the bright afternoon sunlight, no longer ‘dead,’ but lying suppine on the side of the road, just beside his damaged Federally issued vehicle, his young partner on his knees beside him, trying his best not to have a panic attack.

The noise was his name. The ringing was probably a concussion.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish the light that burnt his retinas, melting his eyes into puddles of goo within his eye sockets.

“Bill! Bill, God damnit, answer me!”

Bill felt frantic movement beside him, the voice growing clearer and more familiar.

“Stevie?” he groans, realizing all at once that he cannot possibly be dead—being dead wouldn’t hurt so damn much.

Everything ached and Bill belatedly realized that his back was damp. He prayed it isn’t blood, but he doesn’t think it is. This feels cold and he knows the sickly warmth of his blood. He flexes his fingers into fists experimentally and comes away with blades of grass.

That’s good. If I can feel that it must mean I’m not paralyzed.

He tries flexing his toes for good measure and finds them responsive inside his shoes. Bill squeezes his eyes shut as a shadow falls over him. Even behind his eyelids, the added shade is a blessing.

“Yes! Jesus, I thought—”

Bill opens his eyes to find his partner’s face above him. Stevie is bleeding from his forehead, the streak of red running nearly into the corner of one of his eyes. His glasses are gone and Bill blinks as he realizes he’d never seen the kid without them before.

Bill groans as he tries to sit up. “Whoa! Wait—no! Y-you shouldn’t do that!” Stevie rambles, his hands hovering near him.

Bill puts a hand to his head and squeezes his eyes shut once more, trying desperately to will away the sudden feeling of vertigo and nausea.

“What—what the hell happened?” he hisses, his hand going to the back of his head to check for any blood. His head is throbbing, but his hand comes away clean.

“W-w-well, we-we crashed,” Stevie feebly explains, rubbing his neck and lowering his eyes like a chastised schoolboy.

“No shit, Stevie!” Bill snapped, the movement of turning to tell his partner off, making his neck strain. He winced and closed his eyes again. “The broad! What the hell happened with the broad!?” he barks, his eyes still held firmly shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

Brooks swallows, nodding, because, yeah, that was a pretty dumb thing to say.

“S-sh-she must have used her cuffs—”

“—I remember that part,” Bill sighed. “That damn slippery bitch pulled one over on us. God damn, rookie mistake!” Bill growled. It was always risky when a perp was cuffed with their hands in front of them, but in the middle of a car chase, neither agent had much of a chance to re-cuff her. “Did you see what happened to her!?” he demanded.

He felt a slight pang of guilt as he watched Stevie flinch at his tone. Bill sagged as watched his partner tremble, likely still feeling the effects of the accident. Just behind Stevie’s tangled mess of blond hair, Bill could make out that the noise that he had originally mistaken for a siren, was, in fact, a siren—there was an ambulance pulling along the embankment they had landed in, followed by what looked like several unmarked cars.

Bill frowned at the black cars, a feeling of foreboding settling like a stone in his gut.

He didn’t recognize those cars, nor the men that exited them.

“W-we hit the e-embankment a-and that-that slowed us down enough that the crash wasn’t s-so bad!” Stevie stuttered out, momentarily distracting Bill from the sight of men in dark sun glasses, dark suits, and even darker expressions. “W-we hit the tree though. I-I opened my eyes and realized that s-sh-she was gone! B-but you were unconscious Bill!” Stevie implored, his voice growing more confident, his expression resolute. “I wasn’t about to go pursue an escaped assailant while my partner was injured! I had no idea if she was armed or not, but I highly suspect so, since I found our trunk opened and all of the items, we confiscated from her gone!”

Bill felt his eyebrows climb toward his hairline at the conviction in his young partner’s voice. Bill felt himself smile crookedly.

Just as he opened his mouth to praise the kid for his judgment and his sticking to his guns that said judgment was sound, a man’s voice cut through the air between them at the same time as several paramedics ran toward them, one of them a dark-skinned Asian woman shouting orders as she hurriedly began to pull things from her pockets.

“Gentlemen—”

“Sirs! I need you to stay where you are—!”

Bill tried to address both parties, but the man began to speak with an air of authority once again.

“—Special Agent Gregory Mahn,” the stranger thrust an ID toward Brooks and Reynold, both too stunned to react. The man had pale, almost sallow skin, his short hair graying at the temples. The other two men who followed him looked eerily similar, though each had a different hair color.

Bill felt himself growl deep in his chest, even as the paramedics fluttered around him and his partner, checking their vitals and shifting them to assess their injuries, giving them polite but direct commands.

“What exactly is the meaning of this Age—” Bill tried to question, only to be cut off.

“This operation is now under my personal jurisdiction, under an executive order by—”

“Like hell are you spooks coming into our operation—!” Bill roared only for one of the paramedics to sharply order him to remain still.

“My orders come from up top, gentlemen,” Mahn smirked, his smile revealing yellowed teeth. “There have been very concerning reports that this operation has gone wildly out of control. Not to mention that there has been word of extremely suspicious even—”

“This is horseshit! We are in the middle of a months long operation that could put some of the worst criminals within the Detroit Partnership behind—” Bill shouted, his face purpling in rage. An EMT yelped as her stethoscope was nearly knocked from her hands as Bill wildly gesticulated.

Brooks sputtered indignantly beside his partner, finally gathering enough courage to interject. “Y-yo-you can’t do this! This is an officially sanctioned operation in league with the Federal Bureau of Investigations special un—”

“I just spoke with your superiors Agent Reynolds and Brooks. You have been ordered to report to local headquarters in Detroit effective immediately.”

Both men stared, mouths hanging open.

Agent Mahn continued to simper before he reached into his trench coat pocket and produced something. “I just need you to take a look at this photograph, gentlemen.”

Brooks and Reynold squinted at the grainy black and white photo before them. It featured a man in a suit, carrying a briefcase in each hand. He appeared to be mid-stride, the blur indicating that he was walking quickly. He wore a suit and a hat. A woman with darker skin and a suit walked purposely beside him.

Brooks didn’t have to look beside him to see the color drawn from Stevie’s face. Bill swallowed.

“I believe these are the perpetrators you were pursuing, correct?” Mahn pushed, his expression unreadable behind his dark glasses that he had yet to remove.

Beside Mahn, another agent thrust another picture toward them.

Bill frowned.

The picture appeared to be another black-and-white photograph, taken of the same alley that had been the backdrop for the pair of strangers.

Only this one was of a young boy, complete with a schoolboy uniform. The boy was young, slight, and dark-haired.

The hell?

Bill opened his mouth to respond once he squinted at the photo. There was something familiar about the brick walls and surrounding buildings. Something that nagged at Bill's memory.

Bill’s eyes widen in sudden fierce realization.

This was the alley just outside the Texas School Book Depository.

It wasn't just a big case.

It was the big case.

He remembered it clearly as he had been assigned to gather any evidence that might have been left behind there. He remembers the exact spot where he’d found a discard casing from an Italian Carcano M91/38 bolt-action rifle that had fallen just beneath a dumpster.

“What the hell are you doing investigating this?!” he hissed, causing Brooks to blink at his tone.

“Bill…wha-what is—?” Brooks stuttered, his voice reedy.

Bill carried on as if his partner had said nothing.

“What do these two have and a kid got to do with the goddamn Kennedy assassination!?”

[kodydrs]

you want some - porco galliard

a/n: I LIVE!! ok. Attack on titan has my heart, and I literally wrote this when I was about 14 and saw Galliard in the manga, but this is the like, new and improved version. in this, all the scouts are spiders, and idk why. but i head-canon that eren would have spitting spider like abilities, and levi would be a camel spider bc they’re known the cut through their prey. i hope everyone has a nice day and why not reply / reblog, or send in an ask or request.

warnings: venom!porco x spider!reader, porco x fem!reader, reader has invisibility powers, and her mask consists of his pupils disappearing, spiderinamn au, kirstein!reader, have a nice day, not proofread. I am drunk and high when i write this

request: yes / no

ib: none

‘You find anything?’ Jean asked, dangling from his web. You swung between the buildings, sticking to one to reply.

‘Nothing useful. There’s just a bunch of old debris from that attack years ago. Still no life or anything.’ You could hear your brother grumble, the noise muffled by his mask, but the annoyance still filtering through.

‘I could’ve sworn this was the way Zeke went. Damnit.’ You stood in silence as he argued with himself.

‘Oi. There’s no point getting worked up. Just keep searching. I’ll go check Liberio , then meet you back here in 30 minutes.’

‘Yeah whatever.’ You rolled your eyes. If Jean was good at anything, it was complaining. He watched as you slowly blended into the environment, making the most of your chameleon-like ability.

‘You need to stop acting like such a baby.’

‘Like you can talk.’ When there was no reply, Jean realised you’d already taken your leave. ‘Stupid.’

‘Have you seen anything?’ Armin asked through a small earpiece.

‘Not yet. But I doubt anything is here. It looks so deserted.’

‘Sounds just like your territory.’ Jean teased from his own position. ‘Do a ground search. There’s only so much we can see from the air.’

Usually you’d ignore his ideas, but this one wasn’t bad. Detaching your web, you lowered yourself to the ground, careful not to get caught in the torn up main street. You were right in your assumption. The place was completely deserted, mind a few pests here and there. The only noise was the soft buzz of a store light.

‘Hey Armin. What’s this place’s yearly power use?’ There was a loud crackling noise from the earpiece, followed by silence. ‘Armin? Jean? Either of you there.’ Again, nothing but crackling. ‘Shit. I lost reception.’

You did a scan of the remains of buildings lining the main street, and shot a web towards an only stone one.

Most of the buildings were in a rough state, very few having windows, and even fewer having all 4 walls intact. One thing that did stick out though was that random buildings had lights on, illuminating the street.

‘Why would there be lights on in an abandoned city?’ You thought. Your thoughts were interrupted by a high frequency from the mic.

‘Y/n!’ Armin suddenly shouted.

‘Hey! Why’d you have to shou-‘

‘You need to get out of there right now! Something big is-‘

The mic cut out before he could finish.

‘Hello. Armin. Come in. Something big is what?’ With no reply, you lifted yourself to the top of a building, trying to reconnect. ‘Armin? Hello?!’ With no reply, which meant no signal, you were practically alone. Well, you thought.

The dumpster thrown at you gave him away.

Narrowly dodging the flying rubbish container, you looked in its direction. Nothing. Only the empty alleyway.

‘I know you’re there!’ You shout, hiding in your surroundings. ‘Otherwise, I wasn’t aware Shiga had flying objects.’ When there was no reply, you frowned. Crawling to the edge of the building, you looked down, finding nothing. ‘Damnit.’

As you go to stand, your earpiece crackles once more. ‘-ehind yo-‘ Armin howled before you’re suddenly pushed into the concrete.

‘Shit.’ You think, trying your best to get up, only to have your arms pinned down by a gooey black substance.

‘Don’t even try.’ A raspy voice above you whispers. ‘Nothing gets out of this. Not even spiders.’ You felt a hand grip your head, turning it to look up, and you came face to face with 2 large white eyes, surrounded by the same stuff as what had you trapped.

‘What are you?’ You stammer, trying to keep your confidence. It laughs. An evil laugh.

‘We are Venom.’

‘We? Th-There’s more of you.’

‘Relax.’ This time, the voice is different. Instead of deep and raspy, the creature had a softer voice, with a more comfortable tone. ‘There’s only 2 of us. And I'm a human, just like you.’

You watched as the goo melted away, revealing the face of a man. A man with a strong jaw, but soft eyes. An undeniable attractive face, but you couldn’t say that, even if you wanted to. This guy had been decided as a villain the minute you were attacked. You watched as he stepped out of ‘Venom’, coming closer to you. As well as an attractive face, he was also quite tall. Or, taller than you at least.

‘So, what’s a pretty lady like yourself doing in my home?’ He asked. You still frowning, moving to attack him, but being restrained by Venom. ‘Come on. It’s an easy question. You can’t have wanted anything valuable. There’s nothing here.’

‘Who are you?’ If you couldn’t escape, you’d get as much info as you could before someone else arrived.

‘Who am I? Well, I’m glad you asked. Porco Galliard. And you’ve met Venom.’

‘Unwillingly, but… yes.’ Venom didn’t seem to talk your comment so nicely, pulling your arms in opposite directions. It felt like the symbiote was trying to tear you in half. ‘Ah shit.’

‘Hey. Venom. Quit it.’ Porco said, turning to him.

‘Oh please. Let me tear the spider apart. What’s the point in having her around? Her friends will be here soon.’

‘I’m aware of that, but it doesn’t matter. God. You have terrible people skills.’ If Venom had pupils, you guessed he probably would’ve rolled them. ‘In fact, let her go. What kind of person holds a guest down like that?’ You sighed when the squeeze on your body subsided, and you were able to stand. For a second, you thought about going camo again, but if they’d caught you the first time, what was stopping them from catching you again.

‘Don’t try.’ Porco interrupted your train of thought.

‘What?’

‘You’ve seen him now. He’ll find you.’

You stare at the symbiote for a moment, then move to the blonde's eyes. You felt sympathetic for them both. They were stuck in this shitty city. You were only a visitor. Or, a hostage depending on how you looked at it.

‘So what am I meant to do? Wait here for the rest of my life?’ You ask, tightening the grip on your fists.

‘Well that’s an option-‘

‘No, its not!’ Venom cut in. ‘She’s seen me. I get to eat her now. That was the deal.’

‘No. That’s with bad guys. She isn’t a bad guy.’

‘She’s a spider!’

As the 2 argued, Jean’s voice finally reached a signal.

‘2 minutes. I’m nearly in Liberio now.’

‘Please hurry.’ You whisper.

‘What?’

Looking back at the 2 in front of you, you find 4 narrowed eyes.

‘Oh come on. Look, you’ve scared her now. This is why you need better social skills.’

Opting to not come between the 2 bickering, you shot a web at the next closest building, dragging yourself back. You heard a faint ‘hey’ followed by the sound of walls being grasped, but you don’t look back to see what it is exactly. You had a pretty sure idea, and looking back would slow you down. For now, all you had to focus on was getting out of Liberio. And seeing your brother in the distance was your first sign of luck.

‘I’m perfectly fine, Hange.’ You informed, phone being held to your ear by your shoulder. ‘I wouldn’t even count it as an attack. The guys just wanted to talk.’

Hange Zoe is the Captain of the current Spider-People. It wouldn’t exactly be called an organisation, but they’d found that recent, there was more Spiders than ever. Why exactly, they didn’t know. But regardless, Hange wanted to make sure there was a place for them.

‘Even if you think you’re perfectly fine, you may not be. Come around so we can get someone to check. I don’t care who, as long as it isn’t you or Jean. Preferably, I’d like Armin to check.’

‘I’m not getting anybody to check.’ You argued, storming around your kitchen. ‘If I was dying right now, then I’d be… well… dying.’

You could hear Hange sigh on the other end of the call.

‘Spider’s aren’t invincible, my dear. You of all people should know that-‘

‘And I do! I just…’ Now it was your turn to sigh, dropping your mug and holding your phone properly. ‘I’m fine, Hange. I’ll get Armin to check over me tomorrow. I’m just tired is all.’

The line went silent, the only indication they hadn’t hung up being that the call was still active.

‘First thing tomorrow, get Armin to do a check over. Get some sleep. We’ll take tomorrow.’

They hung up and you stared at the screen for a moment.

All spiders had a canon event of some sort. You could barely call yours recent, and it happened to a lot of spiders at the same time, but a large-scale earthquake in your home town 8 years ago, and watching a 50 metre building come down on your parents did the trick. Did the trick for you and your brother.

You wipe your hands over your face and groan. It’d been a long day.

The pizza that’s been sitting in your fridge for almost a week was practically screaming at you the minute you opened the door. You chucked it on the counter and thought about heating it up for about a second, deciding cold pizza is superior.

‘So you have (eye/colour) eyes?’

You’re blending into the wall and shooting webs before you actually see who the person is.

‘How on earth did you-‘

‘We followed you.’ Venom admits, coming awfully close to your face. ‘We figured it’d be easier to eat you when you’re alone.’

‘He figured that.’ Porco adds. ‘But yes. We followed you.’

You’re clinging to a cupboard door, looking around for ways to get to your apartment door when your phone starts ringing.

‘Shit. Jean.’ You mentally curse.

‘Venom. Back up. Let her answer it.’

You stare at Porco, slowly revealing yourself, and he laughs at the way you’re gripping the cupboard. But he nods towards the phone, mouthing a “pick it up”.

With shaking hands, you take your phone and bring it to your ear.

‘Hey.’ You say.

‘Hey. Hange just texted saying you refused to do a check up. Are you all goods?’

‘Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just tired and a little shaken after today.’ As you’re speaking, you don’t take your eyes off the blonde standing in your apartment, seeing him smirk but obviously listen to your call.

‘Do you want me to come around?’ Porco’s grin melts away instantly, and he shakes his head. The decision was really up to you.

You could’ve said yes. You could’ve gotten your brother to come to your apartment, and both Porco & Venom may have left straight away, but something in you does the opposite.

‘No. But thank you. I’m probably going to have dinner then go to sleep. I’m going to see Armin tomorrow for a check up anyway.’

‘You sure? Ok then. Make sure to look after yourself, Y/n. Call me if you need anything.’

‘Yep. Tell Marco I say hi.’ You ended the call, and watched Porco’s look of surprise as you climbed down from the shelves. ‘You happy?’

Neither he nor Venom speak, and you think for a moment that you’re imagining them there. Until you shoot a web at him to make sure and it sticks to his face, sending him into a fit of trying to get it off.

‘Ok, you are actually here.’

‘Of course, I’m actually here.’ He whines, shaking the webs off him. If he hadn’t broken into your apartment. you might’ve laughed at him, but the circumstances were different. With a bit of your fear dispersing after his reaction, you go back to your pizza, taking a slice of it.

‘You want some?’ You ask, mouth half full. Venom frantically nods, and you smile a little bit. ‘Pizza fan?’

‘He’s a fan of anything with meat on it.’ Porco informs, getting the last of the web away. ‘Just throw it and he’ll grab it.’

You do as told and watch as Venom contorts to catch the food. Your smile stays, and you offer Galliard a piece, but he declines.

‘So why did you follow me?’ You ask casually.

Porco seems to freeze, trying to think of an excuse but Venom chimes in.

‘He thought you were hot. And he never gets any girls in Liberio.’

‘That’s only because there’s no one in Liberio!’

You’re slightly taken back by the confession, but you burst into a fit of laughs. ‘Hey. What’s so funny?’

‘You followed me this far just because of that?’

‘W-Well, like I said, we never get any girls in Liberio, so I think it’s justified.’

You nearly took yourself out laughing so hard. Tears were in your eyes as you fell onto your kitchen floor, clutching your stomach for life. Porco just glared down at you, a dark red tint on his face.

‘I could kill you right now and you’re laughing at me!��

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just too funny.’ You apologise, attempting to stand but falling into another fit of laughter.

Venom grinned at Porco, and Porco just flipped him off.

When you calmed down, you breathed deeply, too exhausted to stand up.

‘Jokes aside, that is really sweet, I guess.’ You pat the spot next to you, and Porco hesitates but takes it. ‘If you hadn’t tried to kill me, that is.’

‘I wouldn’t call it trying to kill you.’ He reasons. ‘More like-‘

‘A shit attempt at flirting.’

‘Will you fuck off?!’

Venom melts into the blond’s back, and it disgusts you at first, but then realise that it could be worse.

A blanket of silence covers the kitchen, you both just staring into space when there’s a knock at your door.

‘Shit.’ You curse, jumping to your feet to answer. ‘Armin?’

‘Y-Yeah. Jean told me you needed a check-in after that thing attacked you.’

‘Yeah, but I was gonna do it tomorrow…’ You only realise then that that thing was sitting in your kitchen. ‘If that’s alright.’

‘It’s probably better to do now, if you don’t mind. I promise it’ll be quick. I just need to do a blood test, then check for any visible wounds or bruises.’

‘Uh. Yep.’ The ‘p’ is stretched out as you open the door, allowing your friend to come in. The minute he’s in, you basically sprint around to check your kitchen. It’s empty.

‘Everything ok, Y/n? You seem on edge.’ Armin asks, sitting up a blood bag.

‘Yeah. Yep. Just fine.’ You answer, rubbing your face again. ‘Do you want some pizza?’

‘As you all know, the festival goes from the main street to the subway. Your job today is to stay on the lookout for anything dodgy, or anything that could harm the mayor and her wife.’ Levi told, looking over the spiders standing in front of him. ‘You are not to engage unless you are certain they are in danger. If you are certain, then you are to report immediately, and keep casualties to a minimum. Understood?’

‘Yes, sir.’

The festival was to celebrate 10 years since the earthquake, and to commemorate those that didn’t make it. The mayor, Historia Reiss, and her wife, Ymir Reiss would give a speech, showing respect for each victim, before travelling around the city to orphanages were children whose parents died were welcomed. Unknown to the public, Ymir Reiss was in fact a Spider, which meant that on days such as the festival, it wasn’t hard for the couple to get that extra bit of protection..

‘How are we meant to know if something is the right level of dodgy?’ Connie asked over the comms-device. ‘I mean, some of us might think that people surrounding the place in pairs is dodgy. We probably look like a damn cult.’

‘Just anything out of the ordinary, I guess.’ Jean replied. ‘Although, a bald guy and a chick stuffing her face is pretty peculiar.’

You all heard Connie send a string of curses are your brother, but you just laughed under your breath.

The event was generally pretty safe. Everyone lost someone, some more than others, so everyone was more of less on the same page about the festival.

‘How did you 2 get stuck together?’ Eren asked, looking at the duo through the crowd. ‘And how come I got stuck with Horseface? Why am I even a pair?’

‘Just focus on the mission, please.’ With Levi’s command, the comms fell quiet.

The day was nearly over, and so far nothing bad had happened. The odd protester here and there, but police were able to deal with them without you needing to step in.

‘All good on my end.’ You checked in. Everyone else replied in the same state. ‘Pretty good year if you ask me.’

‘Nah. Some drunk asked how one of Santa’s elves escaped’ Connie screamed. ‘And then he had the audacity to start singing carols to try lure me in.’

‘Suck it up, Connie.’ You could practically hear Connie fighting the urge to reply, but fighting the Captain seemed to weigh out that option.

‘Hey guys. I got something down the end of the main street.’ Armin reported. ‘I think it’s dormant for now, but I might need someone down there soon.’

‘I’ve got it.’ You replied, slowly pushing your way through the crowd. ‘Can you tell me what it is exactly?’

‘It’s like a black goo.’

You stopped in your tracks, frowning.

‘Come again?’

‘A black goo?’

‘I’ve got a visual.’ Eren added. ‘Definitely ain’t dormant.’

‘Do you need back up?’

‘I might in a minute.’ Without further discussion, Eren decided this was dodgy enough to engage, throwing his mask on and swinging into action.

The minute he moved, the symbiote threw himself off the building, shattering the windows as he propelled towards the spider. Eren grunted when he came into contact, goo covering his arms and immobilising him.

‘Shit.’ He cursed, doing his best to try escape.

‘Surely I can eat this one.’ Venom hissed, inching his face closer towards Eren. ‘There’s plenty of spiders around.’

‘Fuck off.’ The brunette cursed. He tried to shoot a web, only for it to be absorbed into Venom’s body.

‘Come on. I can get it over and done with quickly.’ Venom’s mouth was surrounding his head when it suddenly began choking, grabbing at its neck. Eren took the opportunity, spitting acid into the goo. This time, it melted away and he was able to pull a hand free. Free enough that he was able to latch onto another building and pull himself out of the symbiote.

‘Thanks, Y/n.’ You stayed clinging to Venom, arms wrapped around where she knew Galliard was inside of him.

‘H-Hey. Time out.’ The blonde shouted, voice muffled. You loosened your grip, still holding them both.

‘Get the fuck out of here before we kill you.’ You whispered. Venom grunted, but you suspected it may have been Porco instead. As you went to pull your arms away, the organism wrapped around your arms, pulling you into it.

‘I’m gonna need backup.’ You said over your air piece before Venom ripped it out of your ear.

‘You can eat this one, Venom.’ Porco smirked. You winced, feeling the symbiote’s teeth curl around your arm. Just as you thought it was about to bite your arms off, a blinding light cut through his body, eliciting a deafen screech from Venom.

‘You brat.’ Levi degraded as he swung past, cutting through Venom again. You felt as it pulled you away, keeping a hold until it dropped into an empty street.

Venom unravelled, leaving Galliard standing there.

‘Long time, no see-‘

‘Get out of here.’ You hiss, urging him away. ‘If Levi catches you, you’re dead.’

Whether he believed you or not, he sprinted off, disappearing as the other spiders came down the street.

‘Where did it go?’ Jean asked, obviously ready to kill the thing that attack his sister.

‘I’m not sure, sorry.’ You say, hands on hips and out of breath. ‘It dropped me and disappeared. I didn’t see where.’

‘I’ll go find-‘

‘Leave it for now.’ Hange decided. ‘It seemed to have no intention of harming anyone other than us. And we have no idea what it is, so until then, we keep on looking out for it. Return to post until Historia and Ymir are done, then return to base.’

‘Yes, Captain.’

Your apartment was quiet when you got home. Lights were off apart from the one in the kitchen.

‘Please say you chucked the pizza- what are you doing?’ You said, acknowledging the blonde sitting on your kitchen floor.

‘I’m having withdrawals.’ He whined. taking another swig of his can. You just laughed.

‘Too fucking close today.’

‘It wasn’t even. You were perfectly fine, and it wasn’t like he was actually going to bite your arm off.’

‘I thought about it.’ Venom said.

‘Yeah well. Get the fuck out of my body.’ You replied, walking over to the other imposter. Porco took your hand and (with great discomfort), Venom transferred back to his normal host's body.

‘That’s better.’ Porco sang, suddenly brought to life. You shook your head with a smile, opening the oven to see he had in fact chucked the pizza in to heat it up.

‘Are you staying the night?’

‘Well, it’s probably easier than trying to get back to Liberio right now.’ Porco stood up, wrapping his arms around your waist gently and resting his head on your shoulders. ‘The lights finally gave out.’

‘They’ve shut it down?’

‘Mhm.’

‘So where are you going to stay now?’ You place your hands over his, stroking the back of his palm. The man sighed, breathing hot air against your neck.

‘No clue. I’m sure there’ll be somewhere in Liberio that still has power.’

There was a moment of silence between you two, and you leaned back against his shoulder. No one lived in Liberio but them. You knew because you’d been lying to Hange about it in order to keep that small amount of power going there. But they must’ve done a scan themselves and seen no one.

‘You could move in with me?’ The suggestion seemed like some wild thing. Something that hadn’t even crossed Porco’s mind. ‘Then you wouldn’t have to put in as much effort to get stuff, or to come see me.’

The arms around your waist tightened, and you felt a smile press to your lips.

‘We wouldn’t annoy you?’

‘Porco. We’ve been together for 2 years. If you annoyed me enough, you would’ve already.’ You spun in his arms to face him, hands finding his jaw. ‘And Venom can sleep in a dog box.’

‘I am not sleeping in a box!’ The symbiote shouted, enraged by the idea. ‘Let me actually bite her arm off!’

You laughed, pressing a chaste kiss to your partner's lips before reaching for the pizza.

‘Venom. You want some?’

[bitchysunflower]

part 1 / part 2

Part 3 of “I’ve been texting my friend for about a week now and they don’t reply but turns out i was texting a random person and there was some deep personal stuff i sent oh my god why are they calling me now?” AU

this is just little snippets of this au! there’s not laid out timeline so… enjoy!! :D some may or may not be real texts i’ve send my friends oopsie (steddie are dating yes)

———

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: went to sleep at 10:30pm yesterday and i’m still fucking sleepy today

steve: yeah messing up sleeping schedules does that to ya

eddie: i slept more than enough to fix that

steve: actually not necessarily, remember that day I slept from 6pm to 7am

steve: I was so tired the entire day after that

eddie: stop making sense pls i don’t like it

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: can you text me “Hey Steve, just wanted to let you know I tested positive for covid. You should probably get tested.”

eddie: Hey, just wanted to let you know I tested positive for covid. you should get tested too

steve: Hey, thank you. Hope you feel better!

eddie: wtf was that for??

steve: i just didn’t want to go to work

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: i like being bisexual but i do not like being mentally ill

eddie: dude it’s 3am

eddie: …but same

•••

[incoming call from steve]

steve: dude this weather is killing me

steve: i have another headache

eddie: dude you need a neurological test…

steve: that’s mean…

eddie: …like there is no way there isnt something wrong with the amounts of headaches you get

eddie: wait, how is that mean??

steve: i tried making a joke, don’t worry about it

eddie: …

steve: to be fair is probably because of the multiple concussions i’ve had in high school

eddie: MULTIPLE????

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: my throat is killing

eddie: your fault for screaming so loud last night

steve: that was your damn fault, you rascal

eddie: not my fault i’m so good

steve: YOU WERE CHEATING

steve: NO ONE BEATS ME AT MARIO KART

steve: NO ONE

•••

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: you’re so cute and adorable when your nice to me

steve: what am I when I’m mad?

eddie: hot as fuck

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: you’re a nerd

eddie: and you’re a loser

steve: geek

eddie: dork

steve: mine

eddie: that was so smooth, lord

•••

[eddie is typing…]

eddie: can you bring my notebook when you come back?

eddie: and a snack

eddie: like an actual snack, that wasn’t code for dick

steve: damnit

•••

[incoming call from eddie]

eddie: oh my god i’m dating you

eddie: you’re mine

eddie: holy shit

eddie: wowwww

steve: are you high?

eddie: very

steve: i love you

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: that’s it, i’m done

steve: i’m selling dustin on ebay

eddie: don’t be silly, he’s your kid you made him

eddie: sell him on etsy!

•••

[steve is typing…]

steve: k

eddie: k

eddie: idc how much we argue you’re always gonna be my baby

eddie: keep the attitude i can handle it

———

this was so fun to write lol

tags: @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @estrellami-1 @wrenisflying @ilikechocolatemilkh @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @mightbeasleep @gregre369 @bookbinderbitch @stevesbipanic

[genderlesslady]

BODY SWAP AU // spencer reid x fem!reader.

a/n: my first language isnt english lol so sorry if i make mistakes!!

You whine at the sound of an alarm clock. Slowly getting up, and then terrified, you jump straight out your bed. It wasn’t even your bed! This was a men bedroom. Did you slept with someone while drunk again? Ugh.

You go to the bathroom, to wash your face, but when you look into the mirror, you almost pass out.

- What the fuck! - you yell, seeing your reflection as a man with a semi long hair, and gorgeous face. You stare at it for a while, but the phone starts ringing again. You rush to answer it, hoping you could find some answers.

- Spencer, it’s Hotch. Come in, we have a case, and you’re late. - A serious toned man answers the phone. A case?! Your hands were about to go comb your hair, when you noticed writings on your wrist.

“DR. SPENCER REID. FBI, BEHAVOURIAL ANALYSIS UNIT. 29 YEARS OLD. GENIUS”

…Great. I have to pretend I’m smart? I can’t do that, I’m a model god damnit!

You excused yourself, and said you would be there as soon as possible.

REID POV.

My body automatically awakened itself at 5 am in the morning, but I was suprised that my phone didn’t ring. I was shocked when I opened my eyes, and saw a pink bedroom. Did I just get kidnapped again? No way, I wouldn’t be able to move. My first move was to look around the room, but as soon as I saw myself in a big mirror, my jaw dropped on the floor. I had long hair, and I was wearing a silk dress. I quickly dressed up from the closet, I was wearing the most masculine items I could find. A blue hoodie, and jeans. I sprinted to my workplace. When I got to the building, my reflexes told me to look at my watch — which i didnt have - but I had something written on my wrist.

“Y/N. MODEL. 20 YEARS OLD. DADDY ISSUES.”

I was staring at my hand for a good five minutes, when I heard somebody yell at me.

- Spencer! Is that you? Dr. Spencer Reid? FBI? - When I looked at the man, I could not believe my eyes. It was me. I was feeling like this was a fever dream. Am I dying?

- Y…Yes! You are…Y/N? - I gulped, looking away. This out of body experience was definetly getting to me. She nodded, and we decided to explain to the team what happened.

- …And somehow we are in each others body. - I finished. JJ and Emily let out a little laugh.

- You finally got it! We all had this experience. I almost passed out when it happened to me. - Said JJ. - We wanted to tell you this was a thing, but we knew you wouldn’t believe us. - Finished Emily.

- Okay…So what now? I will try and pose for the Cameras and she will profile people instead of me? - I bit my lip, and sadly, they nodded. - Okay. Call me, if you need me. Uh, she will tell you the number. - I sighed, and left the building.

This is going to be interesting.

[lymoncat]

Aot: telling them you’re pregnant MODER AU

or as I like to call it ✨prego sauce✨

Eren

you had found out that you were pregnant the positive test in your hand you don’t know how to tell him so you called mikasa “y/n im sure he’ll be happy about it” “but what if he’s not, what if he hates me and leaves me” “you don’t know until you try” “ok I’ll tell him” so you decided to use food as a way to tell him you wrapped up the fork and knife in a napkin with the test and set his food on the table. He finally came home from work “eren I made you dinner” “thanks y/n” he sits down and you sit across from him in anticipation then he finally opens the napkin for the silverware he looks at the test confused before realizing what it was “y- y/n your pregnant…” your anxiety skyrockets “yeah I am” he stands up and hugs you tightly spinning you in his arms and kissing you “I’m gonna be a dad!”

Armin

you and armin sat side by side on the couch on anticipation for the results when the ten minute timer had gone off you flipped it over to reveal the results, positive. Armin hugged you and smiles “your going to be an amazing mother y/n” “I hope so” “you’ll be fine, I’ve been reading parenting books” “I love you my little bookworm”

Jean 🐴

as soon as you got the test results you grinned knowing exactly how to break the news “Jean!” You yelled running towards him in the horse stable “what is it y/n” “there’s gonna be a new foul” (a foul is a baby horse) “which horse?” “You” “y/n that’s not- wait- your pregnant?!” “Mhm” you nodded and gave a shit eating grin “I’m gonna be a dad!” “Your gonna be a sire” (sire is a father horse)

Connie

ahh yes you were prego sauce (look at the top and you will understand) you wrapped the test up for his birthday and finally the time had came, he had grabbed the gift with the test inside. He opened the box and pulled out a pair of baby shoes and looks confused. “Y/n what are these” everyone laughs and understands what’s going on. He pulls out the test and realizes “y/n your pregnant?!” “Yup and it’s yours” “I’m gonna be a dad!” “Yes you are” he whispers in your ear “wanna make it twins” “Connie that’s not how it works” “damnit”

I’m too lazy to write the rest T^T

Bye!

[rayniscatstatue]

38, 28, and 20 for Sophitz (romantic) pleaseeeeee

Fuck it, I am turning this into my Sophitz academia rivals to lovers fic that I what to write

————————————————————————

Chess Boards

Word count: 986

Prompts: 20. "Sweetheart, you have to get up."

28. "Your literally ninety nine percent of my thoughts."

38. "Fine, I admit it. I love you darling." (I kinda changed the wording)

Character relationships: Sophie Foster and Fitz Vacker (romantic), Sophie Foster and Marella Redek (platonic), Fitz Vacker and Dex Dizznne (platonic)

Summary: Sophie and Fitz are academic rivals in a bookshop au. Their best friends Marella and Dex have been trying to get them together for months. Is this their chance?

Finally finished it! Sorry it took so long. I didn’t proof read either lol

————————————————————————

She turned into the library. Her blonde hair falling down perfectly as her brown eyes glistened in the library light. Her lips a pale peach with a slight layer of gloss on them. The bookshelves being her home.

She is the girl that works at my local bookstore. Her badge having the name "Sophie. F." On it. But she doesn't know that I am hear.

"Look, it's my favourite customer." I hear Sophie sigh as she walks over to me.

I turn my head back to my work as I flip through text books. A bunch of pens and highlighters scattered across the desk.

"Your sitting here?" I ask as we makes her way up to my desk.

"Yeah, name's Fitz right?" She actually knows who I am. Like she actually remembers me from the book store.

"Yep, but who do you remember me? I am just one customer." I lift my hand up to adjust my glasses.

"Your literally ninety nine percent of my thoughts ." She laughs. "Not literally but yeah I'm familiar with you." She finally sits down as she chucks her messenger bag on the desk.

"Righttt, I didn't even know that you go to the same high school as me." I continue to work on my history project that my best friend Keefe is refusing to help me with, being my partner.

"Oh yeah, your a year twelve, I'm a year eleven." She shrugs, grabbing out a note book.

"But don't you hang out with that techy guy and gossip girl?"

"And you hang out with your bitchy sister and bad boy best friend." She chuckles. Her laugh is a precious sound. "Yeah Marella and Dex are cool."

"Biana is not bitchy!" I snap.

"I just listen to what Marella says." She starts to jot down notes in her note book. Her hair falling in front of her face. Her cardigan wrapped around her with her plaid skirt.

"You look nice." I mutter.

"Same to you, hot stuff."

Did she just call me that?

What the fuck is going on?

"I'll just get back to work." I start to click my pen. Not being able to keep focus.

"There he is now flustered." I can practically hear Sophie rolling her eyes as I stare down at my feet. She starts to tap her foot on the ground as I get back to work. I have a long way ahead.

///

The bell rings as I walk into the multi floor bookstore. Sophie has her shift today I am fairly sure.

"There is my favourite customer." I hear her golden voice that is like ringing silver bells.

Today she has her hair pulled back into a half up half down. But instead with two ponytails. She leans against the counter wearing her faded work pin. Her overalls being a faded white with a green shirt underneath.

"And there's my favourite worker." I chant back as I make my way to the classics. Always a good pick.

"Need any recommendations?" Sophie comes over behind me.

"Yeah, kinda walked in here not having a clue on what to get." I shrug my fluttery feelings away.

"This, this is a good book." I watch as she stands on her tiptoes to reach a book from the top. "Damnit, I'm not tell enough." She slams down back onto her heels. Rocking back and forth between her heels and toes.

"Need help?" I ask before I realise what will happen.

"Yes please, just need a little boost." The blonde girl sighs, still rocking back a forth.

"Okay." I kneel down so I am on one knee. Having Sophie stand on my other knee. She quickly steps up as I grab her waist to stop her from falling.

My grip slips as she falls back. Crashing into the book shelves. The books falling onto the floor, scattering all over the place.

"Ah, the fuck?!" Her head slams into the floor as I  lean over her. Now on my knees.

"Sophie, are you okay?" I reach for her hand. "I'm sorry I should've gotten you a ladder instead."

"It's fine." She continues to lay there, slightly wincing when I touch her wrist.

"Sweetheart, you have to get up." I sigh.

"No shit." She sits up as she stands up before me. Grabbing my hand to pull me up. Turning her heel to go grab the ladder.

“Damn.” I whisper under my breath as I bend down to start picking the books up in order to put them back. I think I removed where they go. But I will probably need Sophie’s help once again.

I tap my foot on the ground as I start to place the books back. My vision blurred slightly but that doesn't stop me.

///

“You know I like you right?” Sophie leans across the library table. I look up from my text book that I was reading.

“What?” I don’t register her words, a blush crewing up my neck.

“I like you, romantically. I know you probably don’t feel the same but I should really just admit it.” She sits down in the seat opposite to me. Pulling out the book she has been reading. Flipping yo her marked page as she starts to read.

“Fine I admit it, I like you too darling.” I cave.

“Knew it.” She continues to read like nothing happened. How dose she do this to me. The blush rising up to my cheeks.

“Though I hav to get going, shift at the cafe.” I start to pack my stuff up.

“Bummer, I’ll miss you.” She just looks at her book, flipping the page.

“See you later, darling.” I zip up my bag and stand up, planting a kiss on her cheek and making my way to leave.

I smile to myself as I walk out the door. She actually likes the back. The world is just going in my way today.

[abrthephantomq]

IZ - "Little Green Men" - WIP

Ah yes, after nearly two decades I am back on my Invader Zim bullshit.

This's kind of a love letter to a bunch of the Invader Zim AUs I've read in the last few years. The IZ fandom is small but mighty and I love every single one of you <3

Essentially, after the events of Enter the Florpus, Zim left Earth to go "rescue" his Tallests from their imminent destruction.

On this "mission" of his, he runs into the Resisty. Where he's recognized as being y'know, the one responsible for the Tallests entering the Florpus in the first place, and therefore destroying a large part of the Irken Armada. He is a hero and they give him all the praise and accolades he's always been wanting.

Just one problem:

He'd already rescued the Tallests, knows they're safe, and now has to destroy them again before the Massive rejoins the rest of the Irken Armada.

Or at least, that's kinda the vision I have for this particular part of the story. I write out of order when I'm drafting sooo... started with this, earlier today:

Dib didn’t really understand what, exactly, he’d done to deserve this – but honestly, he damn well knew he didn’t deserve any of it. 

As it was, he sat at the end of his bed, in his fucking boxers, his scythe-like hair drooping in front of his eyes. He’d just gotten himself out of the shower. And found himself standing eye to eye with a familiar pair of magenta eyes. 

“What do you want, Zim?” Dib asked, standing up and ignoring just how much shorter Zim was than him, now, as he moved to his dresser.

“Eh?? How’d you know it was me?!” 

Dib didn’t bother hiding his eye roll and gestured to Zim’s face. “You forgot your human eye contacts,” he said, slipping into a black pair of thin, ripped jeans. 

“No I didn’t,” Zim said, pointing an accusatory finger in Dib’s direction. “You lie! You lieeee!” 

With a heavy, beleaguered sigh, Dib pulled his Neutral Face shirt on over his head. He smoothed it down, making note that he needed to start eating again, damnit – as his shirt now seemed to hang off his frame like a shirt on a hanger. 

Now properly dressed, Dib turned around to face Zim and leaned his hip back against his dresser. He folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at Zim.

It’d been a few years since they’d last seen each other. The whole Florpus incident had left an odd, bitter taste in Dib’s mouth. And Zim…

Well, Zim had supposedly returned back to Irk – to prove his worth and show his loyalty to his Tallests. Or something. Dib tried arguing with him that it was pointless – that they clearly didn’t care about him. 

Whatever. It didn’t matter. Zim does what Zim wants, and nothing can stop him. Ever. 

“Is this the way you greet your greatest enemy?” Zim bellowed in that way that Dib always thought meant Zim was genuinely angry. Now, he knew better. It was bravado. Bait. Part of the song and dance they’d done when Dib was a child and Zim – 

Well, he was an adult Irken, wasn’t he? He’d implied being much, much older than Dib himself. Even if he did act like a ridiculous fifth grader right along with Dib.

“I have work in an hour,” Dib said with a shrug. “And let me tell you, I greet it with even less enthusiasm than I did you, just now.” 

Zim stared at him, the magenta of his natural, bug-like eyes unblinking. His human disguise had actually improved, aside from the missing contacts – the eyes were at least closer to human-shaped. His hair was still styled in a weird, slicked back poof, but it looked far more natural and less plastic. Even his skin was the right color – a rich, dark brown that could easily pass for human. 

Oh, and he had a nose.

A cute, round nose that Dib felt the inexplicable urge to boop. 

So he did. The way Zim spluttered at the action pulled a low, deep chuckle from his chest. “Seriously, Zim. Why are you here?” he asked, his lips settling into a smirk. “You couldn’t have possibly missed this ball of dirt that much.” 

“Of course not! There are millions of balls of dirt out there just like this one.”

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Ignore me it's time for me to rant because I'm just so exhausted from hateful comments. Hiding it under a read more so no one has to be forced to look at my misery.

I got a piece of (already now deleted) hatemail on my fanfic of Brothers, A Tale of Three Hedgehogs. A hatemail that was critical of the fact that the Triple S bois aren't exactly like their game selves. Honestly, I'm mad as hell that I write fanfiction, damn good fanfiction at that, and frequently get met with criticism that my take on the characters (Donald Duck, Sonic, Mabel Pines, Della Duck, etc) are "not in character"

I mean first of all, I really do attempt to BALANCE what the character would do/say/react canonically with where my stories take them. But damnit I'm not writing stuff that's canon compliant! Almost everything I write is tagged with AU for fucks sake. I am not writing little adventures that could go along side the canon, I am creating entire versions that are meant to be their own thing. No Donald Duck does not canonically try to kill himself in Ducktales 2017 and have to embark on a long mental health journey to recover afterwards, there's no fucking way to say what Donald would or would not do in that situation because Disney wouldn't touch that story with a 10 foot pole! Or ew why is Shadow still so hung up on the past in Brothers A Tale of Three Hedgehogs, why does Sonic still have feelings for Sally or why does he even care in the first place since their relationship has been retconned by Sega. Because I fucking want to write a story that takes SatAM, Sonic X, and a good chunk of the games - which may I remind you are all VERY different types of source material with their own takes on the characters - and rolls it all into one story. Because in that story I need the characters to have growth and change and be affected by the things they've gone through! Stagnant characters won't work for this story! Or why is Mabel Pines depressed in your fic, she's 13. Because fucking hell my dude, I was once a depressed 13 year old too! I know what it's like! So I wanted to write a story about it!

BECAUSE IT'S A STORY. I AM NOT BOUND BY THE RULES SET BY THE IP OWNERS. It's fanfiction! I am free to write whatever I want!

Like oh my God. You do not have to like it when I or anyone else writes characters in a non canon compliant way. You are free to feel that way. But good GRIEF what is the freaking POINT of pouncing into mine or anyone's inbox and saying how you're a bad writer because your version doesn't align with canon, you're a bad writer because you wrote the characters in a way I DON'T LIKE, on and on and on! Wtf! Do you people who do this shit also climb into smut fics and pull this same stunt? "Uh well ACTUALLY, we never see XYZ character engage in sexual activity so THEREFORE this fic is out of character!"

Do you hear how dumb that sounds???

I don't read smut fics so hell, maybe they are, IDK. That's besides the point though.

Just. Fucking hell. Have fanfic readers of today forgotten the old wisdom of "Don't like it, don't read it?" Yes that's normally applied to shipping content but god, please apply it to literally everything when it comes to fanfiction. There is this WONDERFUL TOOL at your dispense when you wind up reading a fanfiction you don't like like. It is called the back button. You know what is an infinitely better thing to do than write a hateful comment or fucks sake a series of extremely hateful and threatening anons on the author's Tumblr account??? Backing out of that fic and moving on with your life.

I mean fuck I'm very sorry for ranting on and on about this but it's 1:30am and I've already had such a rough day, I got real excited to see someone commented on my fic only to receive a long angry criticism that I'm not writing in character and that failure on my part is ruining their enjoyment so badly thar they can't even bring themselves to leave me kudos! Like, buddy! Oh pal, my good sir, instead of wasting your time, just LEAVE! It's okay to just leave and not say a word!

"Tombs, why do you care? Just ignore the haters-"

No. You know what. No. I can't. Okay? I work HARD on what I write. I don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea, I don't expect people to sing my praises from the heavens, no! But for FUCKS SAKE. Life is so shitty! I don't want to even exist most days! I've been having to fight all this mental illness for years without any help thanks to living in the middle of nowhere and I'm still frequently suicidal - I seriously contemplate checking myself into a hospital again sometimes! I would just like to be able to write whatever story I'm focused on at the time in peace okay??? I try to not complain that it's disappointing to not get much positive attention on what I write. But the frequent hate mail on TA&TA and now this on Brothers, it's E X H A U S T I N G. I'm TRYING to live my life and make things work and not be a completely bitter and mean person like my mother was or turn to her vices. I'm freaking trying to do what I can. I just CAN'T with this damn hatemail on my stories though or especially the god awful anons people send me sometimes, PLEASE just leave me alone if you don't like what I make!

[sixstepsaway]

When I finished the show I had Blackbonnet as N°1 ship bc they're both soft and fucked up, and Izzy as like, "I wanna see this guy in situations, kinky ones preferred" in part bc he doesnt bend so it's fun to see how far he can be pushed before he snaps in part bc Lucius called him dizzy and something went PING in my brain. And then so much Blackbonnet fic flattens them out to people who've never done anything wrong and are Healthy in the blandest way possible with 0 interpersonal conflict that I ended up shipping Steddyhands lol cant make that one work if Izzy is the only fucked up one. Like I went from "ah Blackbonnet for shipping hurt/comfort angst with happy ending, Izzy for kink." To the exact opposite.

I ship canon Blackbonnet tho these writers I trust to deliver

The first OFMD fic I ever read was consentacles and the second one I ever read was "Stede and Ed fuck Izzy's face together" and nonnie, I won't lie, I do not know how I ended up reading that second one because at that point I was only passingly interested in Izzy but I have no regrets.

Following your train of thought though, I totally, fully agree with you. I've enjoyed some Blackbonnet fics, but I do find they can get awful bland when the writers don't let any of the (canon!) darkness in at all, and I like some Blackhands fics but I find they either feel very OOC or they go so far into the darkness angle it's a little further than I want to read (no hate to those who write dark Blackhands or enjoy reading dark Blackhands, you do you, I don't judge and I will wave my pompoms for you, and I have indulged in some of those fics from time to time, it's just not my usual go-to).

I've found Blackhands tends to roll a little too close to the non-con angles, which I enjoy often in other pairings/situations, but am a lot less interested in for Izzy and Ed when I just want to read Izzy and Ed being their fucked up selves but also fucking/in love

but I've found that Steddyhands fics? Nail it. Every time they seem to nail it. Izzy's voice/actions, Stede's issues but also his balancing act between the two of them, Ed's wants and needs. Steddyhands is just gold every time, and I love how much Steddyhands is in the fandom!!

And yes, agreed. I ship canon Blackbonnet very hard, and some fic Blackbonnet! (Including my own pseudo Beauty and the Beast Blackbonnet au 👀) I'm just much pickier with my Blackbonnet.

Also, nonny, this made me cackle:

in part bc he doesnt bend so it's fun to see how far he can be pushed before he snaps in part bc Lucius called him dizzy and something went PING in my brain.

delightful description, i love it

And I want more dark/darker Blackbonnet fic in my life god damnit

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Hey John, do you feel like writing something up for your au of the vardy au? Something like Lucian teaching Vardy how to fucking survive? Sorry if I’m bothering you with this, but I had this stuck in my head. Thanks ♥️

Nah, you're not a bother at all!

Sorry, this won't be a long one, technically I should be asleep right now cause I've got another night shift tonight, but I'm eating lunch and that's a fine time to write up a one-shot.

On with the fic!

--

"I'm honestly shocked at how you've been alive this long, Alec." Lucian said and Hardy turned, giving him a look.

"I'm stubborn." He replied simply, the snark obvious in his tone.

"Well, there is not doubting that, but you always seem on the brink of death."

"Was the same when I was a human, could have died of anything at any time, really."

He saw Lucian roll his eyes out of the corner of his own. "Yes, but it seems you have no need for self-preservation unless if you are determined to solve a case that greatly troubles you, or your family is involved. How were you before any of that?"

Hardy frowned, gritting his teeth. "Just... didn't want to die as a bloody vampire, 's all."

"Hm. Well, if you don't better hone your skills that you have now, and accept that you drink blood to survive, you will die as a bloody vampire."

"I'm fine, I have a method of doing things."

"Which results in you going feral."

"Bat face."

"Still feral, Alec. It happens to many vampires, and to some of my own people. You need to learn to survive with better instincts." Lucian said, casually, even tapping Hardy on the chest. The detective swatted his hand away.

Now Hardy rolled his eyes. "Lucian, I've been around for eighty years like this, I'm fine, I've gotten this far."

"But the skin of your teeth." Lucian narrowed his eyes and Hardy glared back, before realizing something about this conversation, about the look like the other's eyes.

"You're worried about me." He said and Lucian pulled back.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I worry about you?" Lucian frowned. "I mean, it's not every day that I find myself loving someone again after so long and fearing that they could be taken away from me just like how I lost Sonja, hm?"

Hardy winced, right, right, Lucian was... he was protective, had been over his people, over his wife, and to lose so many, especially her, well... he could understand that. Yes, Hardy was prideful when he felt like it, especially over his own well-being because he hated people fussing over him, but now he felt like shit.

"Sorry." He mumbled quietly.

The lycan's expression softened. "I just want to make sure you're okay. The... the silver incident scared me, Alec, I don't want to see that again."

"Neither do I."

"Then I'd like for you to let me help you improve your survival instincts, to make sure you don't get hurt, or worse, so easily again. Not even just from stakes, or holy objects, or silver, but even from your poor heart. Don't think I don't know that thing still troubles you, Ellie had made that very clear."

"Damnit, Miller." Hardy bite out under his breath. "Fine, just... don't go overboard with it, alright? Don't want to make you worry more."

Lucian smiled at this. "I'll do my best, my love."

--

Wasn't really teaching him to survive, cause I wasn't sure what to write exactly for that, but them having a conversation to get the ball rolling works, yes?

[ruddcatha]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thank you @eowynwise and @elkonigin for sending this to me!! I greatly appreciate both of you! Doing this as one ask rather than doing two lists 💖💖

Hmmm, this is a toughy...

Guardian would have to be one of them, my epic story that was inspired by the amazingly talented @heavenin--hell. It is a story that grew, and grew (and grew and grew and grew lol) but I am enjoying writing it and creating the world and the interactions between Inuyasha and Toga in particular.

Just Tell Me What he Did with the amazing @neutronstarchild... it started as two dorks going OMG WHAT DO YOU THINK SESS IS DOING IN THE MODERN ERA and turned into a WE NEED AN EXCUSE TO REWATCH EVERY EPISODE AND MOVIE and then a ohhhh what if Sess was cleaning up after Inuyasha every time he was in the Modern Era... and Just Tell Me What he Did was born.

Duality of Man written with @fawn-eyed-girl. First, we partnered with some amazing artists for this story. Second, its a reimagining of one of my favorite musicals Jekyll and Hyde (not as big a fan of the original book though lol), and third, I got to write massively pining InuKag and had a blast. InuKag was not supposed to be as big a part of the story, but then I was told to "ramp up the angst" in Chapter 2 where we really get to see the love between them that they can't share and well...

I'm sorry (not sorry) I am an InuKag girl at heart so it just grew.

Sir Jaken and the Dragon... Yes, its a crack story, and yes, it doesn't get a lot of attention but damnit it was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE!! It is set in the Guardian Universe but its a Human Jaken dreaming he is a D&D Wizard with the task of saving the fair Prince Sesshomaru... It's silly, its so fun, and I just love it lol even if very few others do.

And for me, no favorites list would be complete without I Object, my Attorney AU story that I wrote for @lavendertwilight89. This story is so personal to me, and I am really really proud of it, how it shows (I hope) The anguish Inu felt and his emotions as he sorted through essentially a career crisis of what exactly he wanted... and what the cost and consequences of choices and actions were.

Thank you both so much! I adore you both!

[multifandumbmeg]

New Fic Just Dropped

Yes. In the year of our Lord 2022...I have started a new Edmund fanfiction. Those of you who have for some reason glimpsed my wattpad know it’s not the first, but I’m never gonna go back and complete that complete trilogy rewrite canon divergence what-if fic because I was insane for starting it.

This however, will be a short run (I always say that, but look what happens). But for real this time. Nevermind that the first 2 chapters are 21 pages total single-spaced. Anyway the first two chapters are up because I don’t care if the fandom is long dead, I am Narnia trash first and foremost so I’m writing it damnit and you can’t pay me to stop.

Summary:   As soon as Charlotte meets Lucy Pevensie, it's obvious they're going to be best friends. Things aren't so smooth and amicable with her youngest brother Edmund, however. He's arrogant and rude, a textbook debate club boy, and he knows how American girls feel about his accent. Frustrating though he is, Charlotte keeps finding herself stuck with him, and slowly glimpsing a side of him few people see. Perhaps they aren't so different after all...

A modern AU in which Edmund and OC are basically Elizabeth and Darcy, enemies to lovers slow burn. They’re both insomniacs and have a penchant for going on night adventures when they can’t sleep. There’s angst of course. And Lucy is gay as hell, she’s also the OC’s best friend. Read if you like:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40664736/chapters/101888583

[justasparkwritings]

The Littlest Dumpling {3}

Previous: The Littlest Dumpling {2}

Pairing: Min Yoongi x OFC

Genre: Non Idol AU / Author AU

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Swearing!

Word Count: 4.4k

Summary: Drinks and discussions of work … Or maybe the beginning of something more.

Master List

Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead​

Ask is Open

Tag List 

           He sat on his throne, watching his subjects file into the chamber. They were unsure why he had called them in, and why he was the one waiting to speak. He was barely a king, still a child, what did he have to say to them?

           “I heard his mother abandoned him after he took the throne,” A subject said.

           “Apparently his father is disappointed in him, and his brother has tried to kill him twice.”

           “Maybe he’s abdicating,” A third subject said.

           “Or maybe he’s going to surprise us!” Violet said, pulling their attention to the little girl. “Maybe he’s going to be a great king, and you don’t know it yet.”

           The older subjects stared at her. What was it with children and daydreaming?

           Lil King Yoongi Volume 1 

You: Alright – so it’s been about 2 weeks since our meeting and … I’m wondering … drinks soon?

Yoongi: Are you that desperate to see me? Aren’t we supposed to meet once a week?

You: Fine – I’ll see you in two weeks at the Ruby Poppy. 5PM, don’t be late.

Yoongi: I’m kidding! I actually am waiting for Jin to send his next round of notes

You: Oh so you have free time and that means you respond to my texts?

Yoongi: I’d respond to your texts even if I didn’t have free time

You: Are you flirting?

Yoongi: Maybe

You: Okay

           You stare at your phone, unsure what to say next or what to type…. He’s admitted he’s flirting and that is somehow so close to crossing the line that it feels so… dangerous. And not in a fun way.

You: If Jin doesn’t get his notes to you in a timely manner, let me know and I’ll talk to his boss

Yoongi: Aren’t you, his boss?

You: I mean, yes, but there’s a manager in charge of the editors. The go between of sorts

Yoongi: So when they complain they go to them first

You: Yes, then me… or HR

Yoongi: Are there a lot of HR complaints?

You: I’m not at liberty to discuss what does or doesn’t happen between HR and the rest of the company

Yoongi: Please?

You: No

Yoongi: Who is Jin’s boss?

You: Her name is Sadie

Yoongi: And you’re her boss, too?

You: Yep

Yoongi: She manages the editors?

You: Yes, she does. Makes sure they’re on track for their projects

Yoongi: Mine’s supposed to come out next summer, with the end of school?

You: We want to finish edits by June to print and go out with the beginning of the school year. Did you not read the plan we created? You signed it

Yoongi: Sometimes details are fuzzy, I mostly needed to know when I had to be done so I could panic plan my days

You: You panic plan?

Yoongi: I do – doesn’t everyone?

You: No? I mean, I do but that can’t be healthy

Yoongi: Most things aren’t

You: You’ve got time to finish your book, and maybe even start or write the next book

Yoongi: Oh god, there’s gonna be more… I forgot there has to be two more

You: Yes, obligated to write 2 more

Yoongi: Damnit – any chance I can get out of it?

You: Absolutely not

Yoongi: Fine… fine… I guess I’ll write them

You: Perfect

Yoongi: So what are you doing tonight?

           You put your phone down. This can’t be good. This level of flirting. This banter back and forth. The want to keep texting and texting and texting until the sun comes up. This can’t be good.

You: I have several new episodes of The Boys to watch, and a glass of chardonnay that is delicious and begging to be consumed

Yoongi: Sounds like a good evening

You: What are you up to?

Yoongi: Wondering how long I can keep texting you before we both decide this is a slippery slope

You: It’s been a slippery slope the entire time, Yoongi

Yoongi: I know

You: And yet, we’re somehow happy to slide down it

Yoongi: Don’t you have rules?

You: Oh, we have so many rules. We’re breaking at least two now…

Yoongi: Should we stop?

You: Do you want to?

Yoongi: No, not really

You: Me either

To: Yoongi

From: Seokjin

Subject: Notes Draft #2

Yoongi –

           Draft 2 is looking stronger than what you initially presented. I still want you to take a look and put in some work for pages 5-10. They’re missing something, a little sparkle or hint of hope that is apparent in all the other pages. It’s only the second draft, so please don’t be too hard on yourself.

           The rest of my notes are included in the attached documents.

           Seokjin

           Yoongi opens the attachments and stares at the notes Jin’s given him. They’re not…. Bad. But he definitely doesn’t agree with at least five of them… or six… okay half of them. He dislikes at least three of them and vehemently hates the rest. Who the fuck does Jin think he is? Coming in and giving useless notes on Yoongi’s project? It’s Yoongi’s project, doesn’t he know best? But one could argue that Seokjin’s job is in fact to give Yoongi edits and make his project better. One could argue, but Yoongi will not.

To: Seokjin

From: Yoongi

Subject: Re Notes Draft #2

Jin –

           These notes are shit. I’m not taking them.

           Yoongi

           “I don’t know what you expected, Jin. You two have a tough relationship, you supposedly always have. But your job is to get through it,” You tell Jin as you sit across from him at your desk. He’d scheduled a last-minute meeting and came in flustered and frustrated.

           “I don’t know how to, Y/N, my notes were good. You saw them, they were solid and not personal or emotional. They were good notes!”

           “They were, that is true.”

           “So what do I do? You can’t keep babysitting me and him for this entire process. He has two other books to write too.” Jin’s trying so hard to remain calm about the whole situation, but it’s wearing thin on his nerves.

           “I don’t know Jin,” You say.

           “Are you mad I didn’t go to Sadie first?”

           “No, no I’m not mad. Yoongi is being difficult, and obstinate. Let me, let me talk to him and see what I can do.”

           “Thank you, that’s all I need,” Jin says standing. “I also sent in notes for two other books that Sadie should have copies of. They’re all on track, one of them is nearly ready to go.”

           “You don’t have to give me a status report, Jin. I know that you’re doing great work.”

           “Thank you, I’m trying.”

           Seokjin is, really, truly trying. But he’s also just naturally gifted at editing. He knows when to pull back, when to press his authors and how to get the best work out of them. That being said, this whole fiasco with Yoongi has him stumped. He knows he’s guilty, but damn it why is Yoongi being such a hard ass? Isn’t it wader under the bridge? Aren’t they passed it? It was high school for fucks sake – and it wasn’t like Yoongi didn’t do damage to him either. He did. Yoongi was unflinching and brutal towards Seokjin. It went both ways, always has.

           But maybe – maybe he needs to not only be the older person, but the bigger person.

           “I know you are. Look, I’ll talk to him. Aside from that, the only thing we can really do is have your 1-1 meetings with me too.”

           “We might have to.”

           “Let me see what I can do before we resort to that.”

           “Okay,” Jin pauses.

           “Yes?”

           “Do we get his agent involved?”

           “No, not yet. We’re not quite at the point of no return yet.”

You: Drinks tomorrow, The Ruby Poppy, 5PM

Yoongi: Is this in response to my comments to Mr. Kim?

You: Yes.

Yoongi: So not a social call

You: Absolutely not.

Yoongi: You’re mad at me

You: A little

Yoongi: Damnit

You: I’ll see you tomorrow

           You arrive first to The Ruby Poppy and are seated quickly, which gives you a little time to go over the notes you drafted for Yoongi. They aren’t lengthy, more concise bullet points of his recent behavior that needs to be addressed. Which does make you feel like his mother scolding him. It’s complicated and messy, having a crush on him while also knowing full well you can’t fuck around with him either. It’s your own fault, letting a slight crush find its way to Yoongi, then letting it plant and begin to blossom. It’s your own fucking fault, and yours alone.

           Yoongi shows up right on time, looking… good. Hair long, a V-neck white t-shirt tucked into ripped jeans with a casual black cardigan on top, Yoongi looks… so good it’s making you feel all sorts of ways towards him.

           “Hey,” he says as he approaches.

           “Hi,” You stand. “Hug, or is that weird?”

           “We’d hug if it was social, you said this wasn’t social so, no?” Yoongi’s guarded, unsure how much trouble he’s actually in. Jane had told him to be wary of his behavior and actions towards Seokjin, that if he wasn’t careful, they’d bite him in the ass… And that seems to be what’s happened.

           “That’s true. Sit,” You instruct and take your seat again.

           The waiter comes by to run through happy hour and disappears after you’ve both ordered.

           “So, do you want to get to the business so we can get to the social?” Yoongi asks, flirting lightly.

           “Seokjin gave you notes, good notes, thoughtful and decent notes. You have all but ignored them.”

           “That is true.”

           You cock an eyebrow.

           Yoongi remains calm. “You thought I’d deny it? I’m sure he showed you the email. I flat out rejected them.”

           “Right, I did not see the email but was told about it. Look, you need to take his notes.”

           “Why?” Yoongi asks, though he supposes it’s a stupid question.

           “Because if you do not figure out how to work with Seokjin, you will be in breach of your contract and will owe me a shit ton of money to get out of it. Your pride is getting in the way of your work, and it’s making your book worse.” You explain, using your most stern and concerning tone of voice. You hoped you wouldn’t have to use it on Yoongi, but he just couldn’t let that happen, could he?

           “I – my book isn’t bad.”

           “No, but it could be great,” You say, hand reaching onto the table for emphasis. “You are already great, Yoongi. You wrote an incredible saga of dragons and an unwilling, too young king who saves the day through courage and a lot of cunning. This new project could be just as big, but you have to listen to Seokjin.”

           “I don’t trust him.” Yoongi says for what seems like the millionth time.

           “I know. What can I do to help you trust him?”

           “Can you edit my book?” Yoongi asks.

           “No.” You tell him flatly.

           “Why not?”

           “That sets a bad precedent, Yoongi. If I edit yours because you don’t like him, what about everyone else that has troubles with their editors? Or editors with difficult authors? You are not the worst author I have ever had to work with, but you’re getting there.”

           He slumps lower in his seat. “I feel like a child.”

           “You’re acting like one. And for the record, I hate this so much.”

           It does make him feel a little better, to know you’re miserable in this conversation just like he is.

           “How do I trust him?” He asks earnestly.

           “Read his notes objectively.”

           Yoongi thinks on it, spinning it around in his mind a few times before he speaks again. “Can we, would it be possible to have meetings with you, too?”

           “A one-on-one with you and me?” You ask.

           “Or with Jin, too.” Yoongi would very much like a meeting with just you, but that seems like he’s asking for too much.

           “I think we could find time for a weekly meeting of the three of us, or every other week to look at new edits. You’re well on your way to having it together, but you just have to keep your mind open to feedback,” You offer.

           “I’m trying – poorly, but I am.”

           “Well, maybe for my sanity, try a little harder?” You wink and he quietly feels his heart picking up its pace.

           “I can do that,” Yoongi smiles as the drinks are placed in front of you.

           “Let’s cheers to new beginnings and working through our challenges,” You say, raising your glass.

           “That’s a tall order,” Yoongi comments.

           “You got a better idea?”

           “Nope, cheers to that.”

           You clink your glasses and take a sip.

           “Now that that unpleasantness is over, we can be social,” You smile softly at him, warm and inviting.

           “Oh, can we?” Yoongi asks. “I thought this was purely business.”  

           “It can continue to be if you don’t stop teasing me.”

           “No, no, it’s good. We don’t have to be all business all the time,” Yoongi says.

           “Great, that would be very boring.”

           “Would it? You work with authors, creating all sorts of worlds and creatures. That wouldn’t be boring at all.”

           “I suppose, but it can be tedious, always talking about invented things and nothing really truly tangible,” You say.

           Yoongi thinks about it, that does make sense, why always talk about something invented when you could discuss something real and true and plausible?

           “When I was a kid, all I did was create worlds. It’s how Lil King Yoongi came out, how I managed to exist… world building.”

           “I think all creatives do something like that, creating the places where we feel safe and seen.”

           “Yes, exactly.”

           “So, I met with Jane,” You tell him.

           “Oh?”

           You take another sip before setting your drink down. “Yes, and I have theories on who she’s dating.”

           “Oh fuck,” Yoongi smiles. “You do?”

           “Yes. I don’t know her nearly as well as you do, but from she’s told me… I think she’s sleeping with a friend of yours.”

           “No way!” Yoongi dismisses it.” That’s impossible, there’s no way she could be sleeping with a friend of mine and keep it a secret.”  

           “How do you know? Isn’t that the point of this? You don’t know who she’s sleeping with, thus creating mystery and intrigue?” You ask.

           “Yes, but she couldn’t keep it a secret from me, neither could whatever friend of mine it is. He certainly couldn’t.”

           “Why do you say that?”

           He takes another sip and waves his hand dismissively through the air. “None of my friends are good liars, particularly when it comes to Jane.”

           “Oh?”

           He doesn’t add that none of them can lie when it comes to you, either, because that seems like an over share you don’t need to know.

           “Yes, you’ve met Janie. She’s magnetic. All my friends fall at her feet because she’s beautiful, yes obviously. She’s strong and intelligent and funny. Every friend of mine, regardless of orientation or identification, is in love with her.”

           “Except you.”

           “I pay her too much money to be in love with her. Plus, she and I are oil and water, and not in a funfetti box mix,” Yoongi explains.

           You laugh, sipping your drink to hide how much you enjoyed his comment. You’ve spent a lot of time with Jane, between negotiations and fundraisers, but you don’t really know her. You’d like to, if she’s into the whole female friend thing.

           “I can see why everyone loves her, I mean, she’s great at her job too.”

           “And she’s a decent person, which is why I’m not surprised my friends want to sleep with her, but I can’t believe she wants to sleep with one of them,” Yoongi explains.

           “Your friends that bad?”

           “No – just… they’re men. Men are inherently horrible.” He doesn’t need to explain it, you’re fully aware the extent to which men as a concept and in practice, can suck.

           “Ah.”

           “I have one friend, Namjoon, who has been in love with Jane since the minute she became my agent. He is weak at the knees for her… but if they were together, no way Namjoon wouldn’t be screaming it from the rooftops.”

           “So that automatically eliminates him?” You ask.

           “I think so.”

           “What if he’s just matured and totally could be hiding it from you?”

           “Namjoon? No, no way.” He says.

           “Who else is there?”

           “Hoseok.”

           “Would he?”

           He shakes his head. “No, he’s self-described sex negative, plus Jane scares him.”

           “She scares him?”

           “Yes, he’s, not delicate, but delicate.”

           “I get that, before I came into my power, I was quite delicate too. Still am,” You tell him.

           “It’s good, to be soft,” Yoongi shrugs. “I think I get a reputation for being a cold hearted, uninterested basic man but I’m not.”

           “I don’t think anyone would use any of those words to describe you.”

           “No?” You’re surprised.

           “No, not from the readings you’ve done, or the way you interact with your fans and their parents.” You say.

           “I suppose you’re right.”

           “Yes, I am.”

           “What about you? How do you think people perceive you?”

           “Oh,” You sit back, adjusting your necklace. How do people view you? “Before or after the scandal?”

           “The scandal?”

           “Do you not – you don’t know?” You’re genuinely shocked, how could he not know, didn’t everyone in the literary world know?

           “Should I?”

           “Shit,” You take a large swig from your drink. “I – you know the author, Taehyung Kim?”

           “Yes.”

           “Remember a few years ago when it came out that he was dating two women, and then he turned it into a best seller?”

           “Yes, that book was…. A lot. And that title!”

           “Oh, Two Affairs to Remember? Yeah, horrible.”

           “I can’t believe he capitalized on his own disgusting relationships. I mean what kind of a person does that?” Yoongi asks.

           You stare at him, preparing to drop the bombshell that will inadvertently change how he sees you completely. Which, you don’t want. You want him to keep seeing you the way he has been. As a powerhouse, a force, a woman in charge and with a plan. But you can’t lie, not about this.

“I was one of the women,” You say softly.  

           “What?” Yoongi asks.

           “I was one of his girlfriends.”

           “How?”

           “I didn’t know he was seeing someone else when he started seeing me… I didn’t know he was in a relationship at all. I thought he and I were just, dating. Keeping it a secret because I was editing his first book… Everything seemed fine, until we got caught and it exploded.”

           “Did you – did you love him? Sorry, that’s too much isn’t it?” He asks.

           “No, I was definitely falling in love with him. How could I not? He built me a world where we could be in love, but he was also in love with someone else, someone he’d been seeing for far longer who didn’t know I existed.”

           “You got caught – would you have stayed with him if you didn’t know?”

           “I can’t answer that Yoongi. Maybe we would be married and he’d still be cheating on me. I don’t know.”

           “I’m sorry, that wasn’t a fair question. I shouldn’t have asked. The whole world knew?”

           “Yes. Which is why I thought you knew.”

           “I didn’t. I mean I read the book – oh my god what happened with his book?”

           “I, you don’t know?” You’re shocked again, how does he not know these very public, very well documented moments from the last few years?

           “Clearly I don’t know anything about this.”

           “I edited it. It’s, it’s what got me this job. So, when you ask how people perceive me… It’s not totally positive.”

           “How have I never heard any of this?”

           You finish your drink, spinning the ice around your empty glass. “You don’t strike me as someone who pays attention to gossip or the rumor mill.”

           “I’m not, but something that big… I knew his book was based on his life I didn’t know…”

           “No, and I’m glad when you signed with Serendipity that you didn’t,” You say.  

           “It wouldn’t have mattered. Your reputation, for whatever it’s worth, does proceed you. You’re a powerhouse, Y/N. Seriously, it’s intimidating,” Yoongi tells you.

           “I – thank you, Yoongi. That means a lot.”

           “So, you were dating him, and he had a whole other life, then he wrote a book about it and what, told all your secrets?”

           “That’s why I edited it, I got to control the narrative. So no, he didn’t tell the world my secrets. I wouldn’t let him.”

           “That’s power.” He says, honestly impressed.

           “That’s a contract.”

           Yoongi smiles at you, broad and wide with his gums showing. It’s endearing, how heartily he is grinning at you.

           “You’re cute,” You comment.

           “I am?” He asks.

           “Your mom calls you dumpling, isn’t that evidence enough that you’re cute?”

           “Sure, but cute to my mother and cute to you are two different kinds of cute, aren’t they?”

           “I suppose it would be problematic if they weren’t.”

           “Exactly. So, thank you. You’re pretty fucking cute too.”

           “So, tell me,” You start, sipping your third cocktail. Yoongi’s on his second double of whiskey, a little tipsy and silly across the table. Your feet have bumped a couple of times, sending shockwaves through you.

           “Yes?”

           “You single?”

           “What’s it to you?” Yoongi asks.

           “Just curiosity.”

           “It killed the cat, you know.”

           “That I do, but I’ve never strayed from a fight.”

           “I’m single. Are you?”

           “Yeah, haven’t really dated or be interested in anyone since the whole Taehyung thing.”

           “That’s understandable. What would happen if you were interested in someone?”

           “Depends on who that someone is. If say, Harry Styles asked me out, I’d say yes without a doubt. But if say, Seokjin did, I’d say no.”

           “Because he’s hideous and a total asshole?” Yoongi asks.

           “Because he works for me and I’m not, nor have I ever been interested in dating Seokjin.”

           It was pointed, you bringing Jin into this conversation, because what Jane said had struck you. Maybe Yoongi did think you were interested in him, or could be at some point in time. Which seemed like an impossibility to you and so implausible, but it mattered enough that you decided to bring it up to Yoongi. Tell him straight, point blank, no way to interpret it: you are not interested in Jin.

           “Tell me about your last relationship,” You ask. “It’s only fair.”

           “It was less, public… We just, grew apart and wanted different things. He wanted this massive career, and dedicated time for his art which I distracted him from. I wanted to keep exploring our relationship. We lasted maybe six months; I think?”

           “The six-month ones often hurt so much more than the ones that last years, at least in my experience.”

           “Yes, it wasn’t a great breakup, but it was good enough that we’re friends now and I wish him nothing but the best.”

           “That’s evolved.”

           “It is, I like being evolved, and emotionally intelligent.”

           “Oo, I love when people have emotional intelligence.”

           “It’s kind of,” Yoongi pauses, thinking of the correct adjective.

           “Sexy, and impressive,” You say.

           “Exactly,” Yoongi doesn’t know if he just admitted to being sexy in your eyes, but if he did… he’ll take it.

           “Well, not to cut this short, but it is ten o’clock and I have work in the morning, scheduling meetings with an unruly writer and editor about to turn grey from the stress,” You say. The bill has been sitting on your table for at least an hour.

          “We talked business, so I’ve got it.” You brandish the company card and smile genially at the waiter as they take it.

          “So, if we do this again but don’t talk business, it’ll be on me,” Yoongi says.  

          “Will that make it a date?”

          “I don’t know,” He says. Because there’s rules, so many rules that he knows you aren’t telling him.

          You both stand to leave and Yoongi, ever the gentleman walks you to your car.

          “Do we hug goodbye?” He asks, standing awkwardly next to your now open car door.

          “I think so?” You say. He nods and takes a hesitant step towards you, arms out for an embrace. You meet him, hugging him gingerly. The hug lasts probably longer than it should between colleagues, and the blush that is shared between you is deep and visible in the summer evening light.

           “Text me when you get home,” He says, pulling away first.

           “Will do. And same to you.”

Yoongi: Made it home

You: Same here

Yoongi: I had a lot of fun tonight, after the whole being yelled at by my boss part

You: It was really fun, after that part

Yoongi: We should do it again, sooner rather than later

You: Oh, so no more waiting a month to see me?

Yoongi: You don’t want to wait a month, do you?

You: No, not particularly

Yoongi: A non-work drink

You: Or a work drink

Yoongi: Okay, our next meeting can be over drinks

You: Great, and not a date

           Yoongi stares at the message you’ve sent. Not a date? Okay that clears things up but why is he so upset by it? Obviously, he wants it to be a date. He very much wants to hold your hand and gaze into your eyes and maybe if you feel like it, kiss him. Wouldn’t that be… romantic? So romantic, a summer breeze, walking down the street after an ice cream cone or drinks at The Ruby Poppy again… He’d pull you in so softly, hand reaching to rest on the soft skin of your hip. He’d dip his head, just enough to kiss you lightly. The flap of a butterfly wings, and maybe you’d pull him closer. Take the initiative to deeper the kiss. Your lips would feel incredible, soft and purposeful, he’d kiss you back so deeply it would knock the wind out of both of you.

           Yoongi should stop thinking about kissing you before he has a hard on and has to think about you, in compromising positions, to relieve himself.

Yoongi: Right, working drinks

You: I don’t mean to waffle on it – I just need us to be super clear about what this is

Yoongi: Colleagues. I get it

You: Okay, great. Again, I had so much fun tonight

Yoongi: I did too, you’re good company

You: So are you, Yoongi

Yoongi: I’ll look forward to your calendar invite

You: I’ll send it first thing tomorrow

Next: The Littlest Dumpling {4}

[astralkoo]

I love your work! Do you have any JJK or Jimin fanfics to recommend to us, besides yours? (I've read all of it at least 10x each lol)

First of all thank you so much, you’re an angel and I’m so so so so incredibly happy you enjoy my writing 🥺❤️ second of all do I ever!!!!!!! I’ve never made a fic rec list before so bear with me:

JJK

One Shots ;

Kiss it Better by @jincherie

(okay literally everything written by jincherie is amazing I am obsessed w her hybrid/supernatural fanfics, I’d definitely recommend you check those out but cheerleader jk wearing a FREAKING SKIRT just does something to me. And it’s so cute and funny and adorable and you just will absolutely love the all of the characters)

Bite Me by @jeonsweetpea

(where do I even begin? Vampire reader? Masochist Guk? How do I express my love for this one shot? I do not know. But I love it, very much and highly HIGHLY recommend. I’ve read it so many times it’s not even funny at this point. And it’s still one of my favorites ever.)

Euphoria by @jeonsweetpea

(I have a massive weak spot for anything android I think that is so freaking cool and this one shot was so good!!!!! Subby Android Jungkook is just heaven for me okay, like my wet dream. Sorry was that TMI? whatever, check out this one shot!!!)

Deal by @vinterjeon

Hopping Mad For You by @readyplayerhobi

(This is the fic that made me realize that all I needed in my life was bunny guk and I high highly recommend reading it (if you haven’t already) bc it is sososososoos adorable and guk is the most precious human/bunny ever to exist and I love it with all my heart)

Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf by @readyplayerhobi

Knock Out by @gamerguk

(I remember seeing the teaser for this and being so excited and checking back every day for the full fic to be posted and then it was and all of my expectations were exceeded and I absolutely loved it oh my god it’s so funny and sexy and yes I recommend.)

Baby Boy by @gukptune

(this is one of the first guk fics I read on here so I have a soft spot for it :(( plus I love it and guk is adorable and sub guk is even cuter thank you and goodnight.)

Gold Rush by @nochugguk

Cardboard Castle by @kittae

(the image of jungkook sucking a popsicle has been burned into my head and haunting me ever since I’ve read this fic. and also I want to build a fort and cuddle w him in it. The perfect sexy cute combination.)

Dumbo by @cinnaminsvga

(this fic is wild bro, the reader is crazy bold and I love it and jk has nipple piercings and I can’t get that image out of my head it’s so sexy oh my god.)

Wintervale by @fantasybangtan

(ohhhhhhhhh my goddddddd I loved this one shot so muchhhhhhh it was so sexy and well written and ugh. Again, subby jk so I love it, thank you very much. It’s part of a series, and I’d definitely recommend you check out Taehyung’s pirate au too which is also phenomenal.)

Stay In Your Lane by @luxekook

(oh my goddddddd bratty kook is a big yes!!!!!! and this fic portrays that so well and I love love love it!!!)

Series/Multiple Parts ;

Freak-Quency by @gukslut [ Companion Piece : Boots ]

(he spits in your mouth and you punish him and it’s one of the sexiest things I’ve ever read and I love it and oh my god yes + plus rockstar!guk is just something else yum)

To Tame a God by @vinterjeon

(holy fcking shit, this series is just *chefs kiss* immaculate in words I can’t even begin to describe. I’m a btch for a good werewolf au and the fact that kookie is a bit of a sub? yessir thank you very much plz check this out it’s one of my favorite series ever)

Bunny Troubles by @appreciatethefoolishness

(this fic is so freaking cute I can’t handle it. Bunny!guk and Sub!guk tied into one is almost too much for me to handle on its own but wrapped up in this adorable fic is just UGH you know?)

Bitchin’ by @kinktae

Flesh & Blood by @kinktae

(okay jungkook is literally a freaking zombie how sick is that? I loved Warm Bodies (both the book and the movie) so I love this series!!! It’s cute, funny, smexy and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!)

The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot (ft. Tae)

(okay hear my out. I usually do not read dom!bts fanfic bc I prefer subby boys over dom boys, I don’t know why that’s just how my mama made me. But this fanfic— holy— oh my god how do I even— it’s so phenomenally written and so enrapturing and engaging that it just completely pulls you into the plot and you become invested and intrigued and holy fuck it’s so sexy and I really did like reading it a lot so even if you’re not so into dom!bts I’d say give this a chance and see what you think!)

Secrets of Silk by @nochugguk

(y’all wanna talk about camboy guk? Because I do. And this fic is freaking immaculate. I read it a while ago so I don’t remember too many specific details but dude, I remember just being hooked and absolutely loving it.”

Felicity by @nochugguk

For Science by @boymeetsweevil

(ugh I love love this series, it funny and cute and sexy and the perfect amount of messy and I def recommend checking it out!!!!)

If your into sub guk please check out @namsjunies fics, just all of them bro HERE is the link to their masterslist

PJM

One Shots ;

While You’re At It by @aureumjeon

(dudeeeee I remember seeing the teaser for this and getting hooked immediately!!! And then I read the actual fic and it was so freaking good!!!!! Pool Boy Jimin is something to behold, I must say.)

Florezco by @honeymoonjin

(this one shot is just so pretty. It is so freaking pretty. There is something so rhythmic and beautiful about the way it was written, the words and language used. The descriptions are beyond astounding. The plot as well is so amazing, you can see through every little interaction how their relationship grows and developed and it is so beautiful.)

Diary of a Bodyguard by @kernelmeow

Series/Mutiple Parts ;

Good Boy by @btssmutgalore

(if I’m going to talk about sub jimin, I’m going to talk about the Good Boy series, I mean come on that’s just a given. This series just— yes. The character development, the relationship growth, the ridiculously well written plot, just all of it. It’s an amazing read through and through and a definite must read!!!)

Handyman by @drquinzelharleen (ft. Tae)

(ohmygod I love this series so much. Jimin yum, reader is a boss bitch, the sex is right up my alley but it also has plot with ups and downs and I very much enjoyed reading it and perhaps (more than likely) you will too.)

Timid by @jincherie

(I melt every time. It’s so sweet, so cute, freaking tooth rotting. Jiminie is so precious and lovable and shy and I am so weak for him it’s actually not even funny. If you want cute hybrid jiminie, this is the fic to read, I swear you won’t regret it.)

Blood Rank by @gukptune

Baby, Baby by @hobiwonder (ft. Tae)

(bro, the relationship between Tae, Minnie, and the reader is just— wow. The development between the three is incredible and oh my goddd its amazing.)

Between Other Worldly Creatures by @btsjeonjazz (ft. Tae)

JJK + PJM

Humanity by @bts-trash-blog

(these hybrid babies are so precious bro I swearrrrr this fic gave me a roller coaster of emotions and I can’t wait for more parts to come out!!!)

Peach Blossoms by @pasteljeon

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

(okay, I know this is technically OT7 but oh my god, you wanna talk about one of the best hybrid fics I have ever read??????? It is so incredibly well written and the boys are a mess but an adorable lovable mess and guk is so cute and jiminie is a little shit but damnit I love it and I am so excited for when everything falls into place and they’re happy and lovey and sorry I am getting ahead of myself but if you haven’t read it already, it’s a must read.)