#Yes 911 I have an emergency I've been murdered

[alex-just-vibing]

Mirabel: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? Julieta: Um, murder??? Camilo: Adventuring! Bruno: Tuesday.

Mirabel: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Mirabel: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

Camilo: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

Luisa, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I'm at the store so be quick! Isabela: Moose Tracks is good! Camilo: What the fuck is that!? Isabela: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- Camilo: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It's like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like "Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. Luisa and Isabela: what? Camilo: I don't get it why add the EXTRA u when it's PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? Luisa: You done now? Camilo: Yeah ok. Luisa and Isabela: ... Camilo: ...Can I have Mint Chocolate chip?

Mirabel: HELP! I TOLD LUISA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK! Camilo, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Dolores: Bet you can't eat 15 crayons! Camilo: Bet you I can! Isabela: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

Isabela: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Camilo will and will not eat. Mirabel: Grass? Yes! Isabela: Moss? Yes!! Mirabel: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Isabela: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Mirabel: Worms? Sometimes! Isabela: Rocks? Usually nah. Mirabel: Twigs? Usually! Isabela: Dolores's cooking? Inconclusive! Luisa: How did you... test this? Isabela: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it. Luisa: ... I don't know how to feel about this. Dolores: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Mirabel, watching Camilo & Luisa panic : What's going on? Dolores: Camilo is having an identity crisis, and Luisa is just having a crisis.

Camilo: When's the last time you slept? Dolores: Uh... a few days ago, I think. Camilo: A few- how many?! Dolores: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers... Camilo: What you need is sleep!

Camilo: Ow! Luisa: What's wrong? Camilo: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Luisa: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

Luisa: Hey Camilo, Dolores just broke my seashell lamp. Camilo: Neat. I'm gonna die alone. Luisa: Okay, you win.

Mirabel: I've done a lot of dumb stuff. Isabela: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Dolores: I recorded the dumb stuff. Camilo: I joined you in the dumb stuff. Luisa: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

Dolores: Wake me up- Isabela: Before you go go Mirabel: When September ends Camilo: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

Camilo: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Dolores: That's deep. Mirabel: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Dolores: That's deeper. Luisa: ...You guys are idiots.

Mirabel: Guys where did Camilo go? Isabela: They got arrested. Mirabel: How the hell- Camilo: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Camilo, Mirabel & Luisa: *screaming* Isabela: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Luisa?! Camilo: Wait, why are you asking Luisa that when Mirabel and I are also here? Isabela: Because Luisa wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Camilo: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Isabela: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Mirabel: Why is Camilo crying? Dolores: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Camilo: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! Mirabel: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say- Camilo: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! Mirabel: NO, NOT THAT!

Camilo: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Dolores, patting them on the back: Well, don't think too hard. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

Camilo: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Camilo: That's why I own TEN guns. Camilo: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

Camilo, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Mirabel, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast. Camilo: You're kinda ugly.

Camilo: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP- Dolores: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE?? Camilo: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

Camilo: You use emoji's like a straight person. Dolores: That's literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Camilo: Hello, I'm Camilo. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

Cop: You ran a red light. Camilo: So did you, hypocrite. Cop: I was following you. Camilo: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver. Cop: Get out.

Luisa, watching Camilo do something stupid: Mirabel, you're officially only the second highest risk here. Mirabel: Hell yeah! I'm gonna— Luisa: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

Dolores: If you water water, it grows. Mirabel: ...What. Camilo: They've got a point.

Luisa: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Camilo: Why are we so fucking awesome? Luisa: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

Isabela: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Camilo: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Isabela: Th-that's not how that works-

Camilo: You want to know why people are so afraid of clowns? Well you know what people say about how their feet aren't the only thing that's big? And how people who drive really big cars have small dicks? Well clowns are out there with their big feet and tiny cars...

Isabela, near tears: Please, Camilo, I don't speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Mirabel: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Camilo? Camilo: No. Luisa: I do! Mirabel: I know, Luisa. Luisa: I'm sad. Mirabel: I know, Luisa.

Camilo: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked? Isabela: It's just you.

Luisa: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.

Camilo: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Camilo: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Camilo: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool". Camilo: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".

Camilo: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Mirabel: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Luisa: It was me... Mirabel: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Dolores: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- Mirabel: Eyy, homie! Isabela: But then there's cootie... Camilo: Die.

Camilo: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Camilo: I failed my safety training course today. Isabela: Why, what happened? Camilo: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Isabela: And? Camilo: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Camilo: No thanks. Camilo: I'm god.

Mirabel: You want some leftovers? Camilo: What are those? Mirabel: You've never had leftovers before? Camilo: No, 'cause I'm not a quitter.

Mirabel: You look mentally ill. Camilo: I am. Let's go.

Isabela: What's wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone's throat out. Dolores: Fucking Mirabel and Camilo were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

[ixiethepixiewrites]

Car Trouble

Rating: G

Warnings: usuk, Arthur chekin out dat ass

Summary:

A/N: Lmao what's a drabble, how long is a drabble, idk this is almost 800 words that is a drabble right?

“Perfect, just perfect.” Arthur huffed as he kicked the flattened tire of his rental car's passenger side.

It just had to happen when he was out driving in the middle of fucking nowhere USA, just bloody perfect. Arthur wasn't sure what to do or who to call. It wasn't like the car rental company could just come out here and fix it. He didn't know the number of the local authorities, and he refused to call 911 unless he absolutely had to. Unfortunately, fields of corn and other assorted crops spanned this roadway for miles on either side of him. It could be hours before anyone drove past. Stupid GPS, taking him through this ‘shortcut’ because of possible traffic.

Well, the best he could do now was sit down and hope that someone passed by before nightfall. Perhaps some local lived down this road, or maybe a patrolling police vehicle. The lower the sun got in the sky, the lower his hopes got, being dragged down by the setting of that great star.

A pair of headlights soon caught his attention, and Arthur almost wept at the sight. He had his emergency flashers on still, and that had seemed to do the trick. The incoming vehicle slowed to a crawl before parking behind his useless rent-a-car, a tall figure getting out from what Arthur assumed was a large truck. As soon as he was in view, Arthur counted more blessings than he had hoped for to begin with. The kind stranger didn't seem to be an axe wielding murderer, but rather a handsome young American with bright blue eyes and an even brighter smile. Arthur's heart fluttered just a little when that very man seemed to check him out, and did so again when a voice smooth as honey spoke.

“Car troubles?”

Arthur gave a dumbstruck nod, clearing his throat as he gestured to the spare tire and parts all over the ground. “I was, ah, having troubles here...”

“I can see that.” this stranger chuckled, then held out a hand. “Name’s Alfred. Were you just havin issues gettin the lug nuts off or..?”

“Arthur, and ah... what is a lug nut?” Shit, he felt so embarrassed for having to ask, but he had never been good with vehicles.

“You don't know what a lug nut is? How were you plannin on changin your tire if ya don't know what you're dealin with?”

Arthur flushed, coughing to the side to hide his cheeks. “I've never done this before...”

The man looked as though he was trying not to laugh, but it just came off as a smirk. “You don't know how to change a tire?”

“Oh come off it! Will you help me or not?” Arthur snapped, getting a little annoyed with this Alfred character, even if he was gorgeous.

Alfred held up his hands in surrender, just laughing in a carefree manner. “Okay okay, lemme grab my jack from the truck and I'll help ya out.”

Watching the man's arse as he walked back to his truck was by far the highlight of their meeting. Once Alfred came back and got to work, Arthur simply did as asked, all the while watching those muscular arms flex with the work. The tire was replaced in no time, but that meant that Arthur would have to say goodbye to his eye candy. Or so he thought.

Alfred scribbled on a paper, then handed it to Arthur. “My number. I run a mechanic shop in the nearby town if you want to get a real tire on there. It's not safe to drive on spares for too long.”

Before the man left, he glanced back at Arthur once more. “Your accent is real cute. Hope I see ya in the shop tomorrow!”

Arthur was left on the side of the road, speechless, but determined. Getting the tire replaced would be good, and it wasn't like he was in too much of a hurry. Business could wait, and he even had a valid excuse that he could make vague, his issue just being car trouble. Yes that would work splendidly. Perhaps this town had a small diner as well. Plan in mind, Arthur opened up his map app and located the only town for miles, setting off to get a taste of the local flavor.

Hopefully Alfred would be the main course.