#Yamai Ren SUCKS

[clarktooncrossing]

Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | Sakura's Wonderful Christmas

Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!

Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.

Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...

Y’know what’s annoying? Asides from a-holes who shop on Thanksgiving? Not being an otaku. I’ve made my general disinterest in anime no secret, blaming it on a lack of Yu-Gi-Oh or Pokemon when I was younger. Closest I got was Avatar: The Last Airbender, an amazing adventure series that gate-keeping weebs will insist doesn’t count. First of all, yes it does. Second, none of this comes from a place of disrespect. If anything, I appreciate how Japan treats the medium as a true artform instead of relegating animation to the kid’s table like here in the States. Regardless of my feelings on the subject, there’s no escaping the relentless swam I call my friends. Previously I’ve proclaimed how persistent my pals were in pestering me to pursue My Little Pony, but that’s nothing compared to how bothersome my buddies become when begging me to view Cowboy Bebop or My Hero Academia. Not even Christmas offers any relief since Dani (Alice2Rose) has presented me with the thirty-fifth episode of the Cardcaptor Sakura series, Sakura’s Wonderful Christmas. Brilliant, what better way to get me invested in something new than plopping me in halfway through the plot? That’d be like handing me a novel with the first three chapters ripped out! Still, I could say the same for Miraculous Ladybug and I managed to follow what was going on fairly easily. Perhaps I’m being too pessimistic.

Or not. My confusion starts immediately after the admittedly catchy theme tune as we’re dropped into the dream of our titular magical schoolgirl, Sakura. Her English dub is done by Carl McKillip while Sakura Tenge provides the original Japanese vocals. Much to the annoyance of anime purists everywhere, I prefer the dub. If I wanted to read what the characters were saying, I’d buy the manga! Tough perhaps I should, since Sakura and I are equally confused as a bunch of cards rain from the sky, a mysterious feminine figure watching on from Tokyo Tower. What are these cards? Who is this woman? Does our hero have these dreams often? Do you hear what I hear? Thanks to the power of the Internet, I at least have an answer for the first question. These are Clow Cards, magical macguffins capable of storing magical monsters. Collect them all, of course! You can find them at Hot Topic right next to the Rarity body pillows! As for the woman, they heavily imply it being Sakura’s teacher Miss Mizuki. Who is Mizuki? Why is she so important? Do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?

No time for that, we have real issues at hand! Like what Sakura is gonna get her friends for Christmas! Who are her friends? Are any of them relative to the plot? What’s with the crazy chick’s meltdown when Sakura approaches to ask a simple question? What do you get a wookie for Christmas when he already owns a comb?

Perhaps some tickets to a winter carnival, since suddenly we cut away to one. Okay, how come these things keep popping up in media? Is this an actual thing I never noticed before? Who wants to visit a fair in freezing temperatures aside from me? Everytime I see one I expect Captain Marvel to show up to beat down the Seven Deadly Sins. At least then I’d have a familiar face to follow, instead we’re stuck with Sakura and company. Again; who are these people? Who’s the sentient skyscraper with gray hair hanging with them? Wait, are he and Sakura on a date? She’s ten, isn’t she a little young to be romantically involved? How old is her boyfriend? Who spiked the eggnog? And why does it take everybody so long to notice the park is on freak’n fire!?

Leaping into action, our young heroine and some bratty boy I’m assuming to be her sidekick activate their Shadow Card Jutsu against the Fire Sprite responsible for fanning the flames. Why did it decide to set stuff on fire? Is it Charizard’s cousin and this was its way of making things merry and bright? Home come the love child of Pikachu and Simba is instructing our heroes how to stop it? Is he incapable of actually assisting them? What was the point of the protagonists putting the park goers to sleep instead of evacuating them to safety? Why is Miss Mizuki watching from a distance? People are in danger, what’s stopping her from helping? Why is she stalking her students? Does she know about Sakura’s after school activities? Who's playing first? Mary, did you know? I don’t know or care. By this point I was so lost I was actually getting angry! Whatever, Sakura manages to capture the creature, gives a gift to her boyfriend, the park takes medication for the burning, Simbachu manifests a magical light show, and I’m left looking for some Tylenol.

All respect to followers of this franchise like Dani, but this was terrible. Dragon Ball at least offers audiences a ‘Previously On’ segment before the story starts proper. I wasn’t expecting to have to do homework in order to watch this! It made me feel stupid and Care Bears didn’t even manage to do that. Granted this is far better animated and acted, but why should I care when the writing is what’s bogging it down? So yeah, sad to say Cardcaptor Sakura is not my cup of sencha. Action anime still has no appeal to me.

Thanks to my buddy AN-D for making this GIF for me. ^^

Besides, I prefer slice of life. Yeah, in an astonishing turn of events, a certain robotroll finally cracked the code by getting me hooked on plotlines pertaining to high school romance and found families. Shows such as Spy X Family,  Don’t Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro, Dress Up Darling, and especially Komi Can’t Communicate. Komi’s capers were so compelling that I even bought all volumes of the manga. An autistic guy like me could easily relate to the plight of Shōko Komi (Amber Lee Connors), a student suffering from an extreme social disorder that renders her practically mute. Despite this, her goal is to make 100 friends, a task one would assume to be easy considering her classmates treat her like a goddess, though really that has more to do with her looks rather than her personality. Not to mention the added attention only makes her more nervous. Only the typical wallflower Hitohito Tadano (Kyle McCarley) manages to bypass her bashfulness, becoming her first friend via an earnest conversation on the chalkboard. Together the two form a terrific friendship, eventually blossoming into a beautiful romance. Signs of this inevitable development are evident even in earlier entries like It’s Just a Merry Christmas.

Y’know what’s annoying? Aside from trying to remember the names of all of Komi’s companions? Sharing a birthday with Jesus. Coincidentally, Komi does! Thus Tadano and their gender-neutral agent of chaos Najimi (Skyler Davenport) are prompted to plan a party at her place later that day, Christmas Eve. Like Rainbow Dash they rush to the mall alongside Komi’s other amigos, Najimi challenging all present to find something exceptional for their silent friend that’s ¥5000 / $35.30. All fail save for Tadano, spotting a humongous cat plushy priced at ¥8000 / $56.48 that they all split the bill on. Still, shopping for a loved one is easy when you’re able to ask them what they like. Komi isn’t as fortunate, scrambling to the store to find something with her little brother in tow. She needed backup in case she ran into a psychotic postman or the Terminator. Otherwise he offers little assistance other than pointing out a scarf she gets for Tadano. Sadly we never see him receive it, but he does wear it in future chapters and in promotional material, so I’m assuming he appreciated it.

We do see Komi receiving her cat once the crowd converges at her home. Her peers perceive Shōko’s silence as a sign they screwed up, but Tadano understands she’s embarrassed by the affection. He suggests she send a thankful text later, not even mentioning how the feline was his idea. How honorable an hombre. Meanwhile, everyone else greedily battles for their Senpai Supreme’s attention, including Himiko Agari the Big Green Dog (Sarah Williams), Omoharu Nakanaka the Chosen One (Cherami Leigh), and Ren Yamai (Cristina Vee).

Yamai, more than anyone, deserves a permanent place on Santa’s Naughty List. My buddies and I have dubbed her Stalker McGee due to her perving out over Komi whenever on screen. She is a Yandere, and an odious one at that. In an earlier installment she actually kidnapped Hitohito with the clear intent on murdering him so she can take his place. You can’t even argue she was joking since the boy spends a majority of the story tied up in a closet before Ren returns with a knife. Granted it was changed to drumsticks for the show, though I could imagine Ren still using them for stabbing. Later on the class takes a trip to Osaka where all the girls share a bath house and Yamai salivates at the notion of touching her goddess’s bare breasts. No joke, it actually made me feel physically uncomfortable. I was squirming so much my spots kept popping off! She at least asks for consent, the timid teen having the common sense to refuse the request. Komi knows Yamai is crazy, but accepts it cuz of friendship. Screw you, Tomohito Oda, that’s not how that works! Generally I can’t bring myself to hate anyone, real or fictional, but Stalker McGee is a rare exception. Someone lock this psycho in prison! Have her be run over by a reindeer instead of Grandma! Let Godzilla step on her! Force her to watch Care Bears Nutcracker Suite on a loop! Just make her go away!

Uh, what was I saying? Oh right, the party! Putting aside Stalker McGee’s never-ending creepiness, a fun time ensues as crazy costumes are tried on, violent video games are played, Love Actually is watched for the ten-thousandth time, and depriving dares are dished out. All that and a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken! Like most chapters in Komi’s ongoing quest to make friends, I found this one to be endlessly endearing. It was well written and delightfully drawn, each character succeeding in stealing the spotlight, for better or worse. At the heart of it all was Komi and Tadano, the two getting along as splendidly as ever. Even without dialogue I could easily understand what they were feeling, which was certainly a nice antithesis to Cardcaptor. Still, much as I was miffed over Cardcaptor’s lack of clarity, I know Dani only brought it up under the assumption that I’d enjoy it. That’s why I don’t mind my pals' never-ending peer pressure, since their pleas are loving ones meant to broaden my horizons. Though there are some instances where my friends make me kranky.

< PREVIOUS REVIEW | INDEX | NEXT REVIEW >

[st4rgirlfriend]

Tadano is a wizard.

Komi:

Tadano: Oh sure, we can go to Starbucks lemme do some homework first.

...

Komi:

Tadano: If you really want to yeah, there's a new movie coming out we can watch it later today.

...

Komi:

Tadano: yeah sure I can help you with math, show me the question, please?

...

Yamai: So what are you a wizard or something?

Tadano: Excuse me-

Najimi: Hitohito, my friend.

*puts hands on his shoulders*

How the fuck do you know what Komi is saying?

Tadano: *what the hell is going on*

[cartoonfanorwhatever]

You know they would.

Based on this vine.

[recentanimenews]

Komi Can’t Communicate – 04 – Yamai Rin is Obsessed

This week’s first segment centers on Yadano Makeru, an extremely competitive girl who tries to “beat” Komi at the school physicals. She loses to Komi in height and vision tests, but wins in weight and “seated height”, which seems like an odd thing to measure, but whatever! In any case, Makeru’s mild eccentricity doesn’t prepares us for the horrors to come.

That’s because the rest of the episode is pretty much All Yamai Ren, All The Time. Ren doesn’t want to compete with Komi…she wants her. It’s all she can do to prevent herself from shouting in ecstacy as her body contorts in excitement at the mere sight of Komi walking down the hall. The girl is straight-up obsessed, wants to get closer, and will do so by any means necessary.

At first things seem innocent enough, as she makes too much Hamburg steak (albeit purposefully) as an excuse to share some with Komi at lunch time. Ren is sitting in Tadano’s seat when she asks Komi if she wants to eat with her, and Komi, seeing a vision of an encouraging miniature Tadano in his desk, gives the slightest of nods, and it’s off to the races, with Ren absolute heaven.

But this begs the question: Where is Tadano? Turns out Ren has taken him out of the picture, tying him to a chair with a lot of rope (her knot game is suspiciously elite) in her room, the walls of which are plastered with candid photos of Komi, some of them combined via collage with pictures of her in romantic (or lewd) positions.

Najimi, who is just trying to give Komi another nudge in her quest for 100 friends, invites themselves and Komi to Ren’s place, and Ren can’t resist the prospect of Komi rubbing her scent on her bed or leaving stray hairs around, so she agrees. She stuffs Tadano in her closet, promising she won’t bury him if he doesn’t scream, but eventually Najimi discovers him, and Ren drops the cute innocent act and goes Full Yandere.

It backfires spectacularly, as the moment Komi sees Tadano tied up, she’s ready to leave. She writes a polite “Thanks for having us” note, then leaves with Tadano. When Ren tells her that she was trying to do her a favor by getting rid of the trashboy so totally unworthy of her attention. Komi’s note in response is suitably devastating: “I choose my own friends.”

That said, the next day Komi is distraught and shaken by the experience, and asks Tadano to join her somewhere private to “talk”. She writes in her notebook how it might be best if they weren’t friends. Of course, this isn’t because she doesn’t like Tadano or thinks he’s beneath him; quite the contrary. She fears for his safety. What if something like yesterday happens again, and they don’t find him in time?

To this, Tadano responds that he also chooses his friends. Getting tied up and threatened by a yandere is a small price to pay for being Komi’s friend. Heartened by his response, as she definitely didn’t want their friendship to end, Komi voices it to him…literally…by saying she wants to be his friend in her teeny tiny adorable voice.

In the drama of Komi and Tadano leaving Ren’s, they left Najimi behind. Fortunately, Ren didn’t kill them, and instead Najimi assured her that if she apologized properly for what she did, Komi wouldn’t hate her. Ren does just that, apologizing to both Tadano and Komi for her actions (though as Tadano observes, she kinda sucks at apologies!)

Then Tadano and Najimi thoroughly explain how Komi is bad at communicating and wants to make 100 friends, and Ren is even more enamored of her, having now discovered her new cute quality. That’s how Ren becomes Komi’s fourth official—and most demented!—friend. Ren’s seiyu Hidaka Rina gets MVP honors this week for her deliciously shifty and layered performance.

By: sesameacrylic

[imyoursugarbunny]

All the yandere asks, haha, suck it, nerd (and tag possessive-prey when you do it bby)

❤️ - How many people have you fallen in love with?

Hmmm let's see... Six, I think? I get crushes really easy but love is different.

🧡 - Are you REALLY willing to kill somebody for love or is it just an exxageration?

Hmmm not for love, but I definitely almost killed some people who were hurting someone I cared about and only was stopped bc they weren't within walking distance lmao. I blacked out in a rage and everything.

💛 - Are you a real yandere or is it just for aesthetics?

Hmmm depends on your definition of yandere. I'm not the kill for my love kind but I am definitely obsessed with being around my loved ones and my emotions can get really chaotic.

💚 - How far would you go to change for your beloved?

Hmmm idk. I'd definitely do anything I could to make a relationship work and I definitely want to be healthy in my relationships, but I do not like being tied down and having to hide parts of myself from people so I have no interest in putting on airs or saying things I don't mean. I also do not like being told what to do so if someone demanded too much from me than I wanted to give I'd definitely put up a fight.

💙 - What is your favourite video game?

Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door!! 😍

💜 - Ever think about getting a seifuku? If so, what colour?

Not that I'd look good in one but something pale pink or purple or space themed! Or like cotton candy!

🖤 - Are you more of a 🌸Pastel🌸 yandere or a 🕷Dark🕷 yandere?

Pastel for lovey stuff, Dark for idk when my mood gets dangerous.

💔 - How have you dealt with heartbreak?

Hmmm no idea. Usually i cry a LOT and get super depressed and kind of just...freak out around ppl all the time. There was one person that I very much became suicidal afterwards, tho I was luckily in a good place at the time so i coped pretty well. No idea how I got over that person tbh. But like we stayed friends for a long time after so that was good.

❣️- Can people truly be forgiven for being around your beloved, even if they don’t interact at all with them?

Yeah. LMAO I love the idea of keeping my beloved locked up and completely dependent on me but I also value ppl's freedom and joy so like. Also that'd trigger the HELL out of him so. It's literally just a fun idea I think about from time to time.

💕 - Are you in a relationship?

Yes!!!! I am in a relationship with the best man in the world!!! He is the perfect balance of stinky and sweet nwn!!! We have been dating for pretty much a year now! Our anniversary is June 8th~ 😍😍😍

💞 - Do you have a crush?

I do!!! I have more than one!! My Main Crush is called Dessert. 😜 The others aren't things I really wanna act on er well one of them is but they're like. Not a good option lmao bc it'd be REALLY BAD if something happened bc they are in multiple positions of social authority over me. e___e I just like the idea of giving them flowers lmao. They're called Wendi. (It's a full term but i dont want it showing up in the tag bc they might see it even tho they're like never on tumblr.)

💓 - What does your ideal senpai look like(if you aren’t in a relationship)?

LOOK LIKE? Hm this is hard bc I'm really just. OK. Tall, big frame (like fat or stocky, at least), big squeezing arms, dark hair, facial hair, and that's pretty much it. Like that's like my ideal aesthetic that I'm drawn to. 😗

💗 - Fave piece if weaponry?

Knives are a classic but. >:) I prefer messiness over precision. I ain't interested in drawing it out. Any kind of bludgeoning weapon whether it be a mace or just a bat with nails hammered into it is my weapon of choice.

💖 - What colour best describes your mood around your beloved?

Hmmm depends! Gentle, soothing green, yellow, pale cream, muted grey, royal blue. =w= All of these will collapse into pink if I'm soft.

💘 - Favourite yandere character?

Ren Yamai from Komi-san Has a Social Disorder! (i think thats the title.) Here are some highlights:

💝 - What gifts does your senpai like the most/ do you like the most?

Hmmm idk I haven't been able to buy presents for anyone lately and I don't like getting things for ppl they haven't mentioned they want first, either, so it depends on what they like. Sweet things! Stuffies and shit like that. Enamel pins and anime figures and minifigs. Vocaloid merch. Paint. Stickers and pens and journals.

🏳️‍🌈 - are you an LGBT+ yandere?

As for me I like shit that's cute. I like bug plushes a lot. I have some beetles and there's a large isopod plush i have wanted for YEARS. Also I collect furbys and interestingly shaped bottles and Sanrio and San-X plushes. I'm not too picky tbh.

I'm aro-spec and ace and nonbinary baybee!!

[worangetraveler-multiverseguide]

ALRIGHT! Time for chapter 23, the start of the “I’m Ren” arc... or I guess is an arc since its a 4-parter which I find out by mistake when I realised I could see names of future episodes on the side. Originally I wished to do this on a whole day but well... cysts... they suck.

We begin with Tadano describign himself I supposse, just an ordinary due with ordinary tastes and ordinary atttitude.

And yet that ordinariness (totally a word) is probably what let him see Komi-san beyond what everyone sees in her, I mean he DOES think she is a beauty, but he knows she isnt exactly a clod hearted goddess, just a shy unable to communicate adorable ball of anxiety and shaky shakes

And so he is glad she is his... 

Okay I think I got an image mixed with the manga this time, what about it?... Yamai... who’s Yamai? OH WAIT.... REN YAMAI... well...

PREPARE OURSELVES BITCHES WE GOING PLACES TONIGHT!

(and probably tuesday, doubt I’ll finish this today)