#YOU SHOULD BE READY TO HAVE FUCKIING JOBS FOR THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE THAT YOU INSIST HAVE TO HAVE FUCKING JOBS

[yourheartinyourmouth]

every time there's something new that comes out that i want i have two seconds of holy shit i need it immediately followed by yeah with what money

i have been rejected for every single job i have applied for in the last year and a half, for no reason that i can discern. i have been rejected for jobs where i matched the qualifications, experience, every criteria, and the most i get back is an automated "not you" email.

one time, someone actually replied, to tell me to lower my expectations i was like holy shit how the fuck is that professional or allowed

i haven't gotten responses from cover letters& resumes i have: *written myself *mimicked the style of what the job guides claim employers are looking for *asked someone who works in marketing & is an expert on writing cover letters & resumes to workshop my cover letter & rewrite my resume *used programs to help me write *plagiarized from the internet *used AI to write (sorry)

i have used basically every job site. linkedin, indeed, snagajob, various private company boards, mass government job sites, both .gov and .com, flexjobs, craigslist, and so many that i don't even remember them all.

so what the fuck am i doing wrong. i haven't even gotten a single call for an interview. most jobs don't even tell you they don't want you, getting the automated rejection email is the most i have heard back. for 18. fucking. months.

[boshawsharky]

Hello, I am back on my bullshit. So before we get into this (weird yet great suggestion, btw), I just wanna clear a few bits up:

This took forever to write because until last Friday I hadn’t finished my A Levels, which are now complete thanky the fucky, and I now have a shit tonne of free time. However, I do have a life so I canny just spew them out- not that anyone of you have asked me to, I JUST STRESS MYSELF OUT PLEASE HELP.

Right, on with the fic!

“Uh… Rook, we’ve, uh, we’ve got a bit of a problem over here.”

The radio crackles to life with Sharky’s voice as it sits on the passenger seat of the deputy’s car as they drive down the road coming out of Fall’s End. The cool wind blows over their skin and through their hair, and, because they’re somewhere in the middle of Summer, it’s refreshing. Recently, it’s been quiet recently, probably because nobody can really be bothered to cause any problems since the Seeds died. The last big thing was when Hurk almost killed himself with his own rocket launcher- and just a side note, don’t shoot rockets at objects two metres away from you.

Dep reaches to their radio and smiles as they bring it to their lips, one hand holding the radio, the other holding the steering wheel. “Again, Sharky?” They tease, “Is anything on fire? Hurk is still alive, right?”

The deputy wears sunglasses on their face, although they would be a lot more useful if they were driving towards Falls End, not away, so they would be in the sun. Really, they should take them off, but they feel like a total badass with them on so they refuse to do so.

“Dep, I’m serious now,”

“Sharky, serious? Wow, something must be off,” a laugh escapes the deputy but Sharky doesn’t join in like he usually would.

“Deputy. You’re really going to want to see this.” The pyromaniac’s tone is not nearly as entertained or as entertaining as it is. He’s actually very serious, all things Sharky considered. “It’s really, really important.”

The rocks beneath the car crack and break as the vehicle passes over them, the driver in silence as they consider whether or not Sharky really is serious. They have no idea what to do.

“I don’t even know how to describe it, man. I ain’t ever seen anything like this before. You really, really need to come n see it, Dep.”

The deputy cocks an eyebrow and pulls the radio away from their mouth, glancing at the device before looking back at the road.

“Seriously serious?”

“Seriously serious.”

Rookie takes a deep breath. “Where are you?”

The first thing that catches the deputy off guard, despite their unease which is already present, is the mighty roar coming from the ditch where Sharky said he was. Following the roar are some quiet, almost puppy-like whines. To it’s right lies the half-eaten corpse of a Peggie.

“Shark-” Deputy cuts themselves off when they stand above the ditch, their eyes falling onto the raptor-like creature which nuzzles its head into Sharky’s hands. “What the fuck, Sharky?! Get away from it!” They shout, reaching quickly to ready to shoot it if it shows any signs of aggression. The raptor cocks it’s head at the deputy, and they raise their gun to point their pistol at the beast.

“No, don’t shoot it, Dep! I think it’s one of those river dino’s, or somethin’, like from the movies!” Sharky replies, scratching the rough, scaly skin behind the ear of the animal, which now stands on one leg whilst moving the other in pleasure from the scratches. “Don’t shoot it, it’s just like a puppy! Look! Who’s a good boy? You are, yes, you are!”

Sharky pauses, the movement of his hands stopping.

“Well, I think it’s a boy, anyway. I’m kinda scared to check.”

Dep keeps their gun drawn and pointed at the beast, “It’s not a puppy!” They hiss at the man, trying their hardest not to shout in case the animal gets disturbed and upset, therefore turning dangerous. “It’s a fucking dinosaur! What the fuck are you doing petting it like it’s your childhood retriever?”

“Aww, don’t say it like that,” Sharky coos, bending down and picking up a rock, throwing it a fair distance away. The dinosaur screeches- yes, screeches like a fucking monster- and chases after the rock. Yes, like a puppy. Rookie sighs. “He’s a good dino!”

“It’s a fuckin’ dinosaur and they shouldn’t even be here!” Rookie puts their gun away, putting a hand to their head in disbelief. “This is ridiculous! We need to do something about it, we can’t just leave it here like this.” They place the gun back into its holster as the dinosaur comes back into view, leaping into the ditch next to Sharky, releasing the rock from its mouth. Both people get a view of the beast’s razor-sharp teeth. They both share a look for a minute, despite Sharky’s growing comfort around the animal. “What do we do, Sharky?”

“I have no idea.” The other man admits, fussing the dinosaur’s cheek. There are several things that Sharky never thought would happen in his life- being a freedom fighter, an assistant to the saviour of Hope County, and, apparently, petting a dinosaur.

“Fuck. Somebody has got to know what to do.”

“You know who would be good right now?” Sharky says quietly, looking over to Dep. The deputy looks at him. “Eli. Eli would know exactly what to do.”

The deputy nods, “Yeah, he would.”

“What about Mary-May?” Sharky proposes, “She has a good head on her shoulders, she might help. And Hudson is with her! Them two together? Dream team.”

Deputy nods, “Yeah- good idea!” They say, nodding. “Yeah, but we can’t just lead it to Fall’s End.”

“Well, can’t we keep it in, like, the backyard or something? Tie a rope around its neck, lead it there.”

“Let me go and tell them to expect a fucking dinosaur, then.”

“Wait- Dep, we should name him,” there’s another pause because the deputy cannot believe Sharky wants to name a fucking river dino and a half because Sharky cannot think of any dino themed gender neutral names. “We don’t even know if it is a him.”

“Check, then,” Dep suggests, frowning at Sharky as if he just asked what colour grass is.

“Oh- no thank you, no I am not checkin’ to see if this thing has a wang or not!” He refuses, shaking his head rapidly. “He might try and-”

“He’s like a puppy, Sharky,” Deputy mocks, still staring at him. “Just. Like. A. Puppy.”

“Hell, I ain’t checkin’ to see if my puppies got a wang or not too! I can fuckin’ see that!”

“Well, bend down and fuckin’ see this one,”

Sharky point-blank refuses. He’s not checking this river dino thing’s bits- that’s not his bastard job!

“Fucks sake, Sharky.” The Deputy bends down and Sharky keeps it distracted by scratching its head. “It’s a girl.”

“Oh! Well, there’s a good girl, Roxy!”

“Roxy?!”

“Rexy?”

“Hey, this works great!”

To say the pyromaniac is proud of himself would be an understatement- and it wasn’t even that good of an idea. He sits in the passenger side of the car, holding the end of a rope in one hand whilst his other sits in his lap. The other end of the rope is tied around Rexy’s (Sharky insisted) neck so she follows behind the slow-moving vehicle.

“This was a great idea!” He continues, grinning to himself as if he’d just saved the world. “I’m so proud right now, Dep. Are you?”

“I kinda wish something was on fire and I wasn’t dealing with a fuckin’ river dino.” The deputy mumbles, just driving instead of trying to actively partake in the conversation. Part of them thinks that’s just because they can’t quite believe this is actually real.

Sharky shrugs and holds his hand out the window, which the dino nuzzles, doing a slight trot to keep up with the moving truck.”You’re a good dino, aren’t you Rexy? We’re goin’ to be at your new home real soon!”

“What the actual fuck is that?” Hudson yells, grabbing her gun when she sees the approaching dinosaur, of course being led by none other than Sharky Boshaw. “Sharky! That’s a fucking dinosaur, move! I thought you were joking!”

Mary May comes out of the Spread Eagle with a shotgun in hand when she hears Hudson shouting. “Woah, they were serious?” She asks as everybody begins to gather around to see what the commotion is about. They all draw their guns and point them at the beast.

“No! Stop threatening to shoot her!” Sharky yells.

“Yeah, she’s pretty friendly.” Dep has no idea how this situation has come about. They feel like they’ve snorted a tonne of coke and this is the result. “I thought they were myths, too.”

When they notice the way the animal is sniffing around in a similar way that Boomer would, people begin to put away their guns, the braver ones of the lot reaching to pet the beast. Dep, even though they have seen the gentle nature of the dino, takes a deep breath and hopes to anyone above that it doesn’t suddenly turn violent.

“Well, I’ll be,” Pastor Jerome parts the crowd, standing calmly in front of the animal and gently lifting a hand towards it. The animal sniffs his hand for a moment, then gently presses his nose against it. “I saw one of these, a few weeks ago during my trip to the Whitetail Mountains. Running away into the woods, well, I thought I’d lost the plot. Lying just a few feet away, Jacob Seed, a chunk missing from his leg. I didn’t want to make myself known, so I turned around and walked away- his men would have been there soon, anyway. I really thought God was messing with me, that day.”

“Are they friendly?” Somebody from the crowd asks.

“Well, this one is. Like a puppy.” Rook grabs a stone from the bottom of the fence and throws it just far enough so it shows that it will fetch but not so far that it will break the rope.

“Well, never thought I’d see it,” Hudson comments, shaking her head.

“Looks like Boomer’s got some dog competition.”