#YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT DON'T BOO ME
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#Trigun#Trimax#Trigun Maximum#If you're like 'Rev why did you do Woowoo not Vash'#WELL#While that is somewhat true#Vash is always Knives's favorite and that man always has some sort of god complex#THE god of the Trigun multiverses literally uses him as a chew toy#Have you SEEN how Nightow talks about this man#He 100% owns all of the Woowoo figures and has them in spots of honor#YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT DON'T BOO ME#Anyway
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#hades 2#hades game#melinoe hades#zagreus#you can see my art get progressively sloppier as i lose my will to draw this lol#I drew mel an zag and they are not covered in blood! don't get used to it#I just know Hades has the silkiest hair ever#I looked at mel and hades's sprites side by side and they have the exact same death glare#This drawing was inspired by that discovery#Hades is kinda hot ngl- WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME I'M RIGHT#my art
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i mean, not gonna lie to you guys. it has been 5 years. colin could also get it.
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Modern AU where Sauron/Mairon is Aulë's son and Melkor/Morgoth is the guy he keeps sneaking in his bedroom window when Aulë's not looking.
#don't boo me you know I'm right#lotr#silmarillion#sillyposting#shitposting#tolkien#implied morgoth/sauron
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s3 episode 24 thoughts
here we are. the s3 finale. i am so excited!!! and after such a fantastic last episode, my expectations are high. also, having now seen 3 season finales, i have the sneaking suspicion that this one will also be a cliffhanger, which will get on my nerves a bit i’m sure as i get all my s3 stuff around before beginning s4, but again i extend my retroactive sympathies to the people who had to wait like a year to actually see what happened next back when it was airing.
(author's note: since this one involved a lot of shape shifting, writing a play-by-play description of what was going on was quite tricky. just know i did my best and hopefully that is what matters <3)
this episode description makes it sounds like i’m gonna cry from some mulder family angst. i am preparing myself mentally.
we shall begin.
we open at a food court sort of situation, which makes me once again mourn the fact that i missed the golden age of malls, as i would have devoured that. oh, it actually seems to just be a restaurant. well, my own wishful thinking, i suppose.
this man is very upset and making others uncomfortable with his loud yelling slash crying. so he pulls out a gun which makes people even more uncomfortable. he says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay which seems like it will make things much worse for those kids?? but i digress.
a second man emerges from the back, asking the fellow with the gun to please not shoot. this second man is in a suit and tie, and has a very calming presence. to me, he shall be calming man. calming man talks him out of shooting, and i’m thinking yes!! what a save!!!
... until the gunman sees the police arrive, and then he DOES start shooting into the crowed. this is so sad to see happening. shooter has a bullet wound to the chest from the snipers outside sent to stop him, but calming man says he is not going to die, and heals him by placing his hand on him????
WOAH….. calming man….. you have powers…… get him in a hospital STAT, we need him to lay hands on a LOT of people... like a priest with a 100% success rate
mulder and scully are rolling up to the scene. scully is baffled because there is no one that needs medical attention, despite hearing that a bunch of people got shot!!
so she talks to one of the guys that was shot, and he only has a little hole in his shirt, which she simply lifts up and looks under. and i was laughing because she was in Doctor Mode but it is lowkey weird as hell to just lift some dude’s shirt up and analyze his tummy LMAO. oh she is so endearing to me. this man explains that even though he was shot, calming man touched him and said everything would be okay, and it was! that's suspicious. that's weird.
mulder is peeking his head into the car where the shooter is being held (typical mulder activities, peeking his head into places and whatnot) then he gets right in there with him. the shooter’s name is mr. muntz, and mulder wants to know what happened. mulder has some messy hair going on, but he is speaking very calmly and professionally... that oxford psych degree is showing!
mr. muntz says god spared his life, assuming that calming man must have been sent by god OR is god himself. which i suppose is a logical conclusion to draw.
somehow, calming man just DISAPPEARED from the scene. which is not what you want a guy to do in such a situation!!! unless, perhaps, he has fled to do some more miracle working, in which case i hope he teleports far and wide.
cutscene to rhode island. this lady is approaching a house, which is filled with plastic covering all of the furniture.
(author's note: i literally had no idea that "this lady" was mrs. mulder. and honestly given how much attention i pay to all the details- from the exact episode mulder mentioned jimi hendrix that one time to knowing scully did her residency in forensic medicine- i have no excuse for this. it is deeply humbling to realize the limits of my memory, which so often i think is close to fool-proof. i apologize to mrs. mulder but i, for some reason, thought she had brown hair. please accept my heartfelt apology, mrs. mulder. i have only seen you briefly before, which is a reason, but not an excuse for such a careless mistake)
she walks in, and sees a door is open to the outside. so she (author's note: mrs. mulder) follows along, and who does she see but CANCER MAN??? he remarks that everything changes but the sea. well the sea is constantly changing so take that, cancer man.
this woman (MRS. MULDER, god i'm cringing at my past self) wants to know what exactly he wants from her, and he says “we used to have so much to say to each other” ???? “SO MANY GOOD TIMES AT THE MULDERS’ SUMMER PLACE” HUH???
he makes a jab about how bill wasn’t as good at water skiing as he was, but that could be said about so many thing, couldn’t it? and WHERE DOES THIS DUDE GET OFF?
(this is funny because cancer man lowkey sucks at his job and i won't let him forget that. like at the big UN council meeting everyone was pissed at him for losing the tape and trying to kill skinner and being generally just Fucking Bad at his work, so for him to say all this is quite comical)
the woman says she has repressed it all and i don’t blame her because i would also want to repress any moments with this man, but he says he came her to make her remember something. they’re fighting as a camera takes pictures. WHO IS TAKING PICTURES OF THIS?
okay, back to the virginia crime scene with our agents. calming man has given his name as “jeremiah smith”, but left a fake P.O. box and has no driver’s license. suspicious!!!!
mulder gets a call from skinner- one that “might cause him some alarm”. it’s his mother!!! she has been admitted to the hospital in rhode island, in serious condition!!! skinner stumbles on the pronunciation of the town she's in, but clearly it means something to mulder, because he knows where she is!! he says he is on his way
next thing we see is him bursting in into the room, with scully waiting behind him. something so lovely about scully coming along to be with him at such a terrible moment.
OMG IT’S HIS MOM….. why did i forget what his mom looked like?? am i actually the worst at this?? (<- the moment i Realized)
he grabs her hand and puts his hand on her forehead (i’m going to cry) and scully comes in and explains that she had a stroke. he notices that she is cold and puts another blanket over her (oh my gosh... such an attentive and caring son) and scully tries to reassure him not to think the worst, that people recover from these situations all of the time. i paused to write this down and he has this big sad eyes and i’m gonna CRY. he’s touching her hair and whispering “mom” and AUGHHHH. his only remaining family member...
apparently a 911 call came in… i guess that it was probably cancer man who called. and who probably did this somehow.
OH! she opens her eyes! he smiles at her and tells her everything is going to be okay. ohhh, sweet man...
scully realizes mrs. mulder wants something to write on, and busts out a pen and paper because she is always prepared!!!! and i love that about her!!!
so mrs. mulder writes on the paper “PALM”, which he looks at and repeats, but it’s not clear if he gets what that means or not. here i am thinking that it means some sort of treasure will be hidden beneath a palm tree
he’s watching her being taken away to another hospital as scully looks at some paperwork to figure out what exactly happened to her. and she uses her doctoral skills to tell him that they are optimistic on her recovery. it’s so sweet 😭😭😭 she does everything she can to ease his worries. i love her!!!!!!
but mulder thinks there is a correlation between what went down at the shooting in virginia and here- because she wrote the word “palm”, which is what calming man used to heal the victims of the gunman. and that seems like a stretch to me and to scully, but a grieving mind works in intricate ways, and we already know that mulder has the most intricate of minds, so maybe he's onto something.
he senses that it’s a bit of a leap, and she tries to very gently explain that it might not mean anything, that her brain has been radically changed. she says she is gonna drive him to the nearest motel (😭😭😭) and he says no, we’re going to DC and finding out who this calming man "jeremiah smith" is. omg buddy let her book you a motel and get some rest... but no, for he has entered his bloodhound mode, and there is no stopping him in such a situation
so now it’s 8:25 am the next day, and they are watching some tapes from the news footage while she sits on his desk. and sure enough, they find the guy on the newsreel- calming man jeremiah smith- and they even see that he vanished! it seems like someone else took his place, wearing the same clothes??? now how would that work….
mulder decides he must leave, and where to? “if i told you, you’d never let me go” <- okay well at least he’s sort of honest? scully reminds him he hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but he goes on anyway, telling her to give him a call if she finds anything on the tapes. a sigh from scully as she wonders what the hell he is up to.
now we’re at the social security administration, which is frankly pretty dystopian- so very aggressively white, with spaced out desks, giving extreme retro futurism in that special 90's kind of way. but here is the calming man at a desk, as tons of people in suits and with microphones come in! calming man jeremiah smith walks out the back door and is snagged… under the watchful eye of CANCER MAN??????
seriously, what does this dude even DO beyond be mysterious and nosy?!!!
so they put calming man jeremiah smith in a full body restraint and bring him into some sort of jail cell???? i just KNOW he was not read his rights, too...
mulder, meanwhile, has driven all the way BACK to rhode island, to the house covered in plastic. it is very quiet and dark. he makes his way outside, where we see someone watching him. it’s X!!!!!
X opens the door and tells mulder that cancer man was HERE WITH HER. IT WAS ON HIS ORDERS THE PHOTOS OF THEM FIGHTING WERE TAKEN!!! or maybe it was him hiding in the bushes snapping the pics?? that option is funnier to imagine, so i shall.
X is shocked that mulder didn’t know his mother and cancer man knew each other, but he very seriously says that he has no idea. and X clarifies that he didn’t hurt her, she collapsed AFTER he left- it was X that made the phone call to 911!
ah, that makes more sense than cancer man doing the calling, as i had suspected. although, clearly cancer man WANTS something from her, so maybe he would want to save her life. but then i had assumed he was the one who somehow made her have a stroke- but if he wanted something from her, nearly killing her would make that hard, right? unless he just comes close enough in killing her to scare her... hmm, i'm theorizing, and it feels like some sort of sick chess game.
OH! it seems cancer man wants something in this house. and mulder is surprised because on the day his parents divorced, she promised to never set foot here again. in the "SUMMER HOUSE"- yes, that was the wording he used. bro... how much money were they paying his dad to mess with aliens for them to live in martha’s vineyard AND have a summer house? 😭😭 that was blood money they were paying him fr and it must have been a hell of a paycheck. i have student loans, maybe i should get into the alien secrets business.
so whatever is here has to be important. but mulder tells X he has no idea what it is. xXseems to be hiding something, but maybe that is just his face.
back at the FBI, scully is heading out- or possibly heading back into work? as she does this, “jeremiah smith” arrives! she is very taken aback but jumps into work immediately. he says he is here to turn himself in, because it was claimed he fled a crime scene.
SO WAS THAT NOT HIM IN THE FULL BODY RESTRAINT?? or are we dealing with teleportation here? i mean we have healing already, teleportation isn’t much of a jump i suppose.
(i was so damn confused lol)
now we are with calming man jeremiah smith in skinner’s office, where he claims that everything seemed like a dream from the moment he told the man to put his gun down forward. he claims he doesn’t remember anything, not even giving a false address. he only remembers showing up for work the next day. so... was his body like possessed or something?
he’s like “what did i do wrong :(“ and scully says he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!! skinner says that he can go, but to let them know if he leaves town. she shrugs her shoulders at skinner, not knowing what happened. scully is so kind...
back to rhode island, where mulder has a flashlight. the house is covered with children’s artwork and whimsical chickens. he’s looking through all of the stuff for anything of interest. it’s a fascinating walk through of how they must have lived, with her sewing kits tucked in drawers and toys in boxes. something about seeing their childhood makes my heart want to melt. poor kids, they had no idea what was to come...
he’s getting angry at not finding anything of use, tossing things around, before sitting on the now non-plastic covered couch, when he pulls her note out- and realizes that “palm” is an anagram for “lamp”! is this a clue??? must we inspect the lamps??? of which there are many???
yes, we must. he’s throwing this first one into the wall like link when he sees a pot that might have a rupee in it. but it doesn’t seem to have anything useful in the first one, so it becomes a lamp tossing session. and in the second one, he finds a metal tube thing!!!
when he presses the side of the metal tube thing, a giant needle emerges!! is this one of those needles they used in s2 to vanquish the nearly indestructible aliens?? are there more in any other lamps??
now cancer man is back in the jail cell with the dude he took hostage that i thought was calming man jeremiah smith. well, whoever it is, he has jeremiah smith’s face. cancer man very dramatically sits in front of him and lights up. jeremiah says he isn’t ashamed of his actions, but cancer man says he isn’t “allowed to put your indulgences ahead of the greater purpose”. OH! so this must be a real life alien. that takes people’s shapes? i suppose?
YES! like that hit man did in the s2 arc that wound up with mulder nearly dead after the battle of that strange submarine!! whose blood induced the virus that led him to be soaked in an ice bath! i’m recalling!!
so, calming man jeremiah smith says he no longer believes in the "greater purpose", to which cancer man replies “then your fate is just”.
now hold on. what are you going to do to this man? there might be some intergalactic diplomatic repercussions for acting unwisely here, bucko.
they’re having a poetry off as they talk about duty and the terror of jeremiah smith giving the people hope. cancer man says men can never be free because they are “weak, corrupt, worthless, and restless”, some of my favorite adjectives . so he sees himself as this authority figure adjacent to god in this world in which man no longer believes.
well he's wrong on many accounts for 1. he is not god, just a guy who lowkey sucks at his alien job, and 2. scully is very much a believer of god and science, so take your stupid dichotomies and ego and smoke on THAT, cancer man
oh, but the tables are turning. “how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?” ooooh read him, calming man jeremiah smith!!! get him for me and again for missy.
cancer man seems deeply unsettled and tries to get out because calming man jeremiah smith is no longer calming man… HE HAS A NEW FACE?? IS THAT DEEP THROAT! he seems deeply scared… was cancer man scared of deep throat??? what was their power dynamic?!? oh, the things we will likely never know...
i have missed seeing deep throat around. but cancer man basically says that this alien’s execution date is coming. damn. they kill you for saving others. we really live in a society...
back to mulder, who is barging into skinner’s office. he tells his secretary to hold his calls, and it is appearing evident that he has not slept in a long time. he walks right into a meeting between skinner and scully, and says he wants his name and everything about "him"! which "him", you ask? you know the one!
“i want the smoking man smoked out; i want him exposed to be the murdering son of a bitch that he is” he says, and YAAAAS i have been wanting to say these lines for 3 seasons now!!!
skinner is not pleased with this, and reveals that he doesn’t even KNOW his name, nor how he can find it, and they are yelllling. mulder says to scully that cancer man is trying to kill calming man jeremiah smith, but she says that he had JUST been there, and he works for the social security administration, which sets mulder off on another quest. in which she joins!!
(skinner says something really interesting here- that there might have been a time when he could have been able to find out cancer man's identity, but that time has since passed. very interesting, i'd love to know what that means...)
off to the faraway and magical land of the social security administration, where mulder apprehends jeremiah smith. he looks to scully asking what is going on, and she also has no answers.
so they get to the FBI and he starts to bolt!!! he falls down and comes up… with a new face?!! and then he disappears into the crowd!!!
SO WHAT IS GOING ON??? are there TWO ALIENS?? are they TELEPORTING?? are they shapeshifting?? HUH??
cancer man goes back to the individual i shall now refer to as the “jail cell alien” because he no longer bears the face of calming man. damn, this is really confusing to write out, and very much tied to visual media as a storytelling vessel. i hope that you are familiar with what i’m talking about so you have any idea what i’m even saying, because i realize it sounds deeply incomprehensible.
alien asks why cancer man is so afraid of him, and claims that he knows everything about him. OH! “you think you’re god- you’re a drone, a cataloguer, chattel”, says cancer man, to which he is met with the reply “what you’re afraid of is they’ll believe i am god”
HEY WHAT! so what exactly is this dude’s job description?? like, either of them.
they’re talking about god and belief and fear and rule- “they don’t believe in Him, but they still fear Him” <- ooooh banger line on part of the cancer man.
(it seems that there is probably some very intentional real-world commentary on the illusion of freedom under democracy, the nature of the surveillance state, and how people are satiated under capitalism with all this talk to appeasement and there not being a god, but i’m not trying to crack that right now. i’m trying to figure out what this alien dude does beyond heal people and be cryptic. he says that humans have love, which makes them “better than us- better than you” SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? can he feel no love?)
they’re referring to some sort of process, and how cancer man wants to be involved when it begins, which i’m guessing is referring to some sort of alien-human joint conquest or hybridization or something?
GASP! alien changes his face again and proclaims that cancer man is… DYING OF LUNG CANCER!
fork spotted in kitchen. however, cancer man is sincerely gagged and doesn’t believe it. the absolute buffoonery going on…
now the alien from before that had escaped from the clutches of our agents has shape shifter again?? into the hit man we saw in s2! with the special alien killing needle!
so my memory is foggy… these aliens that the hit men are hunting are dissenters from the overall alien regime, right? they’re not different species of alien entirely?
but then what/who are the little grey ones…. are we witnessing intergalactic warfare here…?
(i gotta be so honest, i come here for the lingering tension between mulder and scully, so i’m a little fuzzy on how the actual alien stuff works)
anyway, the cronies of cancer man are bringing the hit man and his lethal needle into the cell where they’re holding the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, but… he isn’t in there!!!!! where did he go!!?!
so we have two aliens, both shapeshifters, taking the same face at times, one trying to kill the other. also cancer man is here and mulder’s mom is in the hospital, and for some reason she had one of those needles in her house. okay, i’ve got it.
back to the hospital- his mom isn’t getting better, and he is struggling to hear that, pulling a chair next to her while his eyes fill with tears. he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek. poor mulder :( losing all of his family :( it’s so sad honestly to see him cry :(
he leaves the room, attempts to compose himself, and sees cancer man in the hall!!!! uh oh! so mulder GRABS him, throws him against the wall, and pulls out his gun, saying “you gonna smoke that, or you want to smoke on this?” <- WHEW!!!!!!! he was not playing around before but now he is a NEW level of locked in… but careful… if you kill him, what he knows goes with him….
he even offers to give him brain damage but not kill him, so he can suffer like his mother does (DAMN!), which prompts the reveal that cancer man has known his mother since before he was born. he thinks about this and decides that he does NOT give a fuck.
he claims that SHE contacted HIM, (which isn’t what happened because we SAW what happened at the start of the episode?? he wanted her to remember something??) and also that he has possible information on his sister’s location. how many people are going to use this line on our guy...?
mulder puts the gun down as a nurse walks in, pivoting to asking where his sister is- but the man who might have that information has disappeared, according to cancer man. so he must be referring to the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith.
mulder keeps saying that he has what he wants, presumably referring to the lethal needles, but cancer man denies wanting anything except to see how his mother is doing. he furiously puts his gun away.
back to scully cam!!! it’s late at night, but she is still at work, and she has her glasses on because she’s on the computer <3 she seems… puzzled. for the social security administration has records on SIX different jeremiah smiths, all from different locations, but with the SAME FACE!!! this is weird enough to prompt a call to mulder, who has no service, but is very angry in an empty parking lot.
X emerges into the parking lot- he is always emerging from places- and asks if he has “it”. he demands mulder give it to him, but he refuses.
mulder (correctly) points out that it is a weapon used to pierce the back of an alien's neck, which is the only way we can kill “them”. and X says it’s value will soar when the truth is revealed, so i’m wondering if we can get a rough time frame on when that will be so i can get my things in order before then. X says they will kill him for it, even if it risks making him a martyr and his research coming to light. oh, they must want it really bad... maybe it's a special kind of needle you just can't get on earth.
mulder says to X, so you’re talking about colonization, and you have a date, don’t you? but he refuses to give the weapon over. prompting a battle! they seem pretty evenly matched, and they both pull their guns out.
“if you shoot me, you’ll never find it” “i ought to shoot you anyway, after everything i’ve given you” says X, and WELL! X, you didn’t really do all that distribution of clues to mulder out of the goodness of your heart, did you… you’re leading him on a little quest on cancer man’s order’s, aren’t you???? I THINK YOU ARE!! but i don’t KNOW, because why then would he SNITCH on cancer man with those photos??!!!!
(not super clear on why exactly mulder wants to keep this thing other than keeping it out of the hands of evil, but maybe that is enough of a reason for him)
so they both have guns pointed at each other, and they’re limping away, and X announces that mulder is a dead man one way or the other. ????!!!!! i do not want him to be a dead man...
scully comes home to her place at 1 am… but someone is at the door. someone claiming to be jeremiah smith!!!! chat... do we believe it? and how did he even find where she lives...
he asks to be let in… and she is gonna let him in…? with only 3 minutes left in the episode….?! seems a risky move!
he says he has information on her partner and his sister. and scully says, well why didn’t you bring that up before!!! a very valid question! but get this- it's because he’s never SPOKEN to her before- that other man was an imposter, sent there to kill him!!!
OOOOH okay. so now the dual shape shifting aliens thing makes sense. one sent to hunt the other for breaking the rules... got it.
her phone is ringing as this goes down. it’s mulder, saying that “they” are looking for jeremiah smith, and to meet up off the I-95. so it’s very dark and creepy as they go to the rendez vous point.
mulder makes scully get behind him, getting between her and the alien formerly known as jeremiah smith (🩷) as he pulls out the alien killing needle. and this guy claims to be the OG calming man that healed those people, but that’s not really enough evidence for a guy like mulder. despite mulder's suspicious, the alien keeps saying he can explain everything. but first, mulder orders that he must come to see his mother.
OMG! so he wants to use the alien's powers to heal his mother! do you think it could work? i mean, a stroke and a bullet are different kinds of hurt... but maybe he could pull it off?
OH NO!!! who rolls up to this dark and creepy scene, but the hit man!!! a loud crescendo of music is playing and we get a TO BE CONTINUED
DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!
i mean, i knew a cliffhanger ending was coming, but STILL.
okay, so what am i thinking about this episode… i am thinking that i don’t really know what is going on or where the loyalties lie. but it seems that alien colonization is eminent? and where does X fall on all of this? i assume he wanted the needle killer tool so HE could kill the REAL alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, like cancer man wanted, for rebelling against their alien treaty and healing someone. but if that is what he wanted it for, and he is aligned with cancer man, why did he go behind his back to do the snooping on him with mulder’s mom?? was he trying to get mulder as an ally to do cancer man’s bidding through sneaky tricks??? or was he going to keep the needle out of cancer man's hands, and felt he could do it better than mulder could, so that by asking him to give up the needle, he would be saving mulder's life and risking his own? does he actually give a damn about mulder? also, how many different kinds of aliens are there??? and are they all lying about samantha?
so huh. umm. that was a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.
as interesting as this episode was plot-wise, and as much as i love angst, and how it pains me to see mulder mourn the potential loss of his mother, something in this episode just didn’t quite compel me. and then i realized: not enough scully. a criminal mistake, imo. takes what could be an amazing episode into an inherently mediocre one.
but, what we did see of her was her kindness, using her doctorly knowledge to try and lift mulder’s spirits, risking a lot of danger to try and get the answers for him, even if it means getting involved with alien bullshit. maybe she thinks it’ll bring her answers about her sister and her own abduction… yes, that has to be it. still, a grave sin to omit her. it just feels fundamentally Off.
so, that was the end of s3! well, as i have done twice before now, i’ll make my season wrap up posts before i get onto s4- even if it does end with a cliffhanger that is honestly SO rude. i’ll have to go over all my notes again to find the best moments and compile them, which is always a task (even if it is a major treat). and i have a feeling there will be a LOT of favorite moments this time around. plus i'll update the masterpost.
thank you to everyone who read this far, and reads this blog at all. i can't believe i am on season 4! it really makes my day to see people's reactions to the episode, learn fun facts, and experience the community in this fandom that i am otherwise denied by my persistence in avoiding spoilers. please feel free to go back and interact with old posts, too- it makes me so happy when i get notifications from that.
until next time, you agents in a dangerous back alley with some skirmishing aliens!
#this episode was a lot and writing down what happened was deeply confusing so i hope you can follow along#still i stand by my critique: not enough scully which makes me not really care that much#don't boo me! i'm right! compare this season finale with the last one! i need an even division of time on these two!#anyway curious to know what happens next but i stick to my work and my patterns#which means i shall compile some “best of” moments today or tomorrow as needed#i hope everyone enjoys and thank you for joining me on this ride!#juni's x files liveblog#3x24#the x files#txf
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Laios is a service top
#I mean this in the context of laios x kabru they r all I've been able to think about#don't boo me you know I'm right#mt
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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MCMG
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Eddie Miller and Steve Harrington are the same person in different fonts.
#house of anubis#eddie miller#why are you booing me? i’m right#i've been rewatching stranger things#and their parallels hit me like a truck#It's probably nothing but sometimes i go 🤨🤔😮🧐#and i'm here with receipts!#steve (s1) 🤝 eddie (s2) -> saving the day in the finale even if they don't know what's going on#steve 🤝 eddie -> the protectors of their group of misfits#steve 🤝 eddie -> curating a fake persona ( king steve and Eddie's bad boy front) to protect themselves from society's expectations#I could keep going but this would get too long#This is my delusion talking BUT I'm more and more convinced that one of st writers watched/was influenced by Hoa/hha/dha...#or maybe the tropes are just that popular and cliche... oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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it's pretty much confirmed that my stan has so many pets in his post canon verse, it's insane. he's got a whole entire zoo living under his roof, or should i say ford's roof.
so if we go down the list, we've got:
compy, a compsognathus that stan stole as an egg and raised it. he only had him for a few days, and even if he's not living with him anymore, he still counts.
shanklin 2, i mean come on, you can't tell me that he doesn't find another possum at some point and take it in as a pet, you just can't.
caryn, my version of stan's dog post canon, which you can find out all about her here.
#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . AUTHOR OF THE STARS ❝ ooc. ❞#this is a man who absolutely loves animals#don't boo me you know i'm right#and i imagine waddles maybe counts as an extension idk#( gravity falls tw! )
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literally just saw some radfem bullshit on my dash, & then when I went to their blog to block them not only was it full of anti-trans half arguments & accusations of other people being childish, but one of the very first posts was about how a certain show would be better if one of the main characters was a young woman instead of an old man because they "don't like old people"
#there is no point to this other than i'm pissed and tired of having terf bullshit pass my dash#i feel like i'm gonna have to get that eye thing because i don't super vet the blogs i interact with casually#so as long as they're not immediately anti queer i usually don't notice#and then i've got fucking radfem shit in my 'based on your likes' feed#all because i interacted with feminism stuff that - without the anti-trans lens - seemed totally fine#& like terfs are already shitty people but i feel like the anti older person sentiment just further highlighted the fact that#terfs are just shitty hypocrytical people who play the 'poor me boo hoo you're all childish' card & act like they're so fucking superior#& that any trans folks are terrible#and then turn around and spout all kinds of bigotry#but it's okay i guess because they've got a vagina <3 (& experience the exact same kind of misogyny that tons of us do but they're special)#ALSO#I learned what 'moid' means and you guys are fucking assholes#men are not just mindless sex freaks you fucking cunts#& the fact that you think that just shows how warped your sense of the world is#you 'hate the patriarchy' but aren't interested in actually dismantling it#how could you when you don't even view half of the people involved as really human!#fuck off#terfs and radfems aren't welcome here and you can all kick rocks#i try my best for this to be a queer friendly space and i want that to be clear right fucking now#if anyone who follows me has bothered to read this please let me know if i've accidentally reblogged something from the 'drop the t' crowd#i am not the golden standard queer or whatever the fuck the term is#but i dont ever want someone to think that i'm part of that crowd
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I get annoyed by people so it's Unpopular Opining Time. Whenever trans men or transmasculine people or whoever try to use the word transmisandry, other people shut them down (and ignore whatever experiences they're trying to articulate) by saying 'transmisandry isn't real because misandry isn't real, transmisogyny exists as an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, but the experience you're talking about is just transphobia'. [As a side note, it is true that misandry doesn't exist in the same way as misogyny, as a like, social order and hierarchy, but society at large, imperial society, does want men to also be miserable because it wants everyone to either be miserable or afraid in various ways. Society wants men to be unable to foster emotional connections with anyone, even in passing, feel isolated, and blame women for their problems. And this is usually only expressed by people saying 'the patriarchy hurts men too'.] Anyways. So, since transmisandry got shot down and treated like a Cringe Term, people came up with transandrophobia as a term with less baggage that could still be used to communicate their unique experiences, and it still gets shut down as being just another word for the same thing!
I'm lucky enough to experience internet and trans community spheres/spaces where radical inclusion, radical trans inclusion, acceptance, solidarity, are the norm. I knew someone who considered themself as transmasculine and experienced very different internet spheres than me, as you do, and the climate was so different than what I was used to, I was hesitant to believe it at first, bu they really opened my eyes to how things can be, Out There. And since then I've seen many other people sharing their own experiences with being transmasculine or a trans man. Getting shamed for choosing manhood, for identifying with men, being called a traitor, being considered gross, or as violent somehow, being less included in discussions of trans experiences and less worth listening to, being considered as less of a three dimensional person, considered as automatically having more privilege or being an oppressor, but if they don't Pass enough having their gender made invisible, and many paradoxical treatments the same as trans women and nonbinary people who don't identify as transmasculine have. If you go to an in person queer rally event you can count how many of the speakers are trans women, how many are nonbinary, and how many are trans men. Part of what I'm saying also is that it's easy to think the way you see people treated around you as the norm, and to disbelieve people when they say they've had very different experiences elsewhere, the experiences of both places both happen.
People say that trans men and transmasculine people can only experience transphobia, not a specific intersection of transphobia and something else, as if anyone is ever hated solely for the decision to change their gender from the one assigned at birth and nothing else about them. People say that bias against men doesn't exist in society At Large, as if society is a monolith, and as if there's an insignificant number of people in society in general and in queer communities who have lived under patriarchy and as a reaction to that have swung to the idea of manhood being bad/gross/lesser/violent, even when that supposition hurts vulnerable people. If being hated not for choosing your gender but for choosing your gender and that chosen gender being man or masculine isn't an intersection of transphobia and something else, I don't know what is. And when a lot of that hatred comes from people who are queer, and who are trans, who are supposed to be part of your community, I think that deserves a word for it.
Even aside from all that. I don't think it's ever right to take a piece of vocabulary that people use to express their experiences and their truth, and to smear it so much it becomes unusable. I'm aspec, and I'm nonbinary. I remember not just mockery of the idea of aspec people being included in the queer community, but specifically mockery of terms like amatonormativity used to express the oppressive societal norms and rules around relationships and what they can be. Mockery of xenogender labels and neopronouns, the attack helicopter thing. I'm always going to be sympathetic and want people to be able to use the language that they have to express their unique experiences, and for them to be trusted on it.
#This is mostly not very coherent and I started crying at the end#I don't know what to tag it as so I guess I'm just saying it into the void#[crying] Why are you booing me I'm right#transandrophobia#transphobia
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#tumblr#polls#tumblr phrases#memes#I'm accepting suggestions. I don't care if the phrases have their origins on Tumblr. they just have to be popular on here#like sad! and many such cases!
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Putting BFIAFL that low when it's your newest album is sooo 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (it should be lower sorry).
#scribblesbyc#matty healy#yttamyttam#idk about the others all i know is iliwys and abiior are top 2#actually it would probably be 3. self titled 4. Notes and BFIAFL#I don't make the rules I just enforce them#about you could have been on Abiior take that away and what does BFIAFL have... quickly#Boo me if you want to but I'm right
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Literally only I could get upset when getting a kinda cool uquiz result lmao
#smol has a quick vent#yes its that bugbear thing. look they sound cool and all but not in a way I could be even if I was cool#I am far more shallow than I thought it seems cause like. I like forests and stuff right. Find them comforting and also big fan of the#horror trope There's Something In The Woods. but if u assign me green and brown colour palette and some forest-y bullshit im mad lmao#yes that's my Gothic-wannabe-ass complaining but it's also like. In what universe am i formidable. When do I face adversaries#literally said my vice is cowardice and it's like 'u take on adversaries and have an indomitable spirit' no. I'm sorry I tricked you???#into thinking im something noble?? It's literally Not That Deep but here we are lmaoooo basically I uh#I don't know if I like myself? I'm trying to. But I don't. I don't know how much is 'me' and how much is 'fixable'#at what point do I change so much im not me anymore? When do I become someone worthy of being 'me'#which makes the Old Me unworthy. So that makes Current Me unworthy. How much is an act and how much is me#I would like to be comfortable existing but im not. There's a version I'd like to be that is unattainable#and results like that are equally unattainable if not moreso. And I don't wanna be that#it's also petty personal bias like really? A fuckin druid? great.#(an aside this reminds me of a time an ex-friend said I gave off druid-y faerielike vibes with the fuckin flowing white dress and the#flowers in the hair like boo. no. boring. Give me dark Gothic roses and frills and leather and corsets and a powerful beauty and elegance#like I like the fae stuff sometimes the changeling idea hits a little close but im not some boring elf fuck you)#basically this is like 60% of Virgo answers on those old The Signs As posts (I miss those) and I was mad them and im mad now lol#it's also meant im being a little bitch in. well not friend group. it's a public server which is easy to forget sometimes#so yeah sorry gamersssss i will shut up and continue to play as halfelf rogues cause im BASIC
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i think meetings should be over forever and also i don't want to do graphic design anymore
#graphic design isn't my passion you guys i don't really like doing it and i don't think i do a particularly good job at it#but how do you say that to someone when you're in a meeting and they're hiring you for graphic design on a tight deadline#and you tried to send them to a production house by people u know because they'd do a better job but it doesn't work#anyways boo hoo i'm getting hired for a job poor me right like what an asshole move#bwewwwhwhhwhwhwhw
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