#YOU IGNORE ME BEVAUSE IM RIGHT!

[s0urte3th]

thanks for that, dickwad.

[oncamelliastreet]

ignore, i just have nowhere to put this rant and no one to tell it to and need to get it into space while i have a quick mental breakdown

i’m just so fucking stressed about precalc and i’m fucking fed up and i don’t know what to do. like i actually don’t think i can pass this class. precalc is like a combination of algebra and geometry, so it would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that my school had shit algebra and geometry classes that barely taught anyone anything. we don’t know the basics going into the class, and we were all hoping to get the old precalc teacher who is actually a really good teacher and could’ve helped us, but he stopped teaching it for some reason this year and hired a new guy who doesn’t understand that we really don’t know anything. like most of my grade failed this test, and he gave us a lecture on it and said that we cleary didn’t study enough and it’s unacceptable that we don’t know it because it’s prettt much review, but WE DIDN’T LEARN IT BEFORE HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW NOW. and i did all of the homework, i asked my sister for help every night and had her explain it to me, i studied for two hours the day before the test, and i still got a 50% (BAD). and my stupid fucking sister keeps texting me and asking me about when i’ll need help and what i don’t get and I DON’T EVEN KNOW. BECAUSE MY TEACHER DIDN’T EVEN GIVE THE TESTS BACK OR PUT THEM IN THE GRADEBOOK HE JUST SHOWER PEOPLE THEIR SCORES. and i don’t even think he’s gonna give them back, so i don’t know if i actually didn’t know anything or if the questions i didn’t get to because im a slow ass test taker came back to bite me in the ass and it lost a lot of points because he grades by partial credit and he can’t give partial credit to questions i didn’t even get to in time. the whole thing is just fucking fucked and i don’t know how to pass the class and there’s really no alternatives because i have to have four years of math and you can’t really go into stats without precalc and you can’t go into college algebra because college algebra is just algebra 2 and i took algebra 2 freshman year and i can’t take the same class twice. i’m just completely fucking fucked and my grades about to dip so bad and i’m not gonna be able to get it back up and i’m not even comfortable talking to my teacher about it because he’s such a fucking weirdo and he explains everything so fast which doesn’t work for me because i’m an extremely visual learner when it comes to math and i have to have things explained to me slowly and written down first or it takes me forever to get it and i never get his answers when other people ask questions in class because he gets super condescending and explains it to you like you’re a stupid person who should already know it except i am a stupid person who should probably know it but i never had it taught to me in the first place so i don’t know how the fuck i’m gonna start knowing it now and i’m just stressed as FUCK and i’m gonna tell my therapist about this tomorrow and she’s just gonna say “well have you tried asking for help” yes i fucking have it didn’t WORK i just don’t get it ill ask my sister for help and she looks at me like im a lost cause every time i dont know something and says that i should already know it and tells me to watch a video about it and it doesn’t FUCKING HELP and everyone is so FUCKING CONDESCENDINF BEVAUSE I KUSY DONT UNDERSTAND MATH AND IM CRTINF SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW

[corpseaten]

hhhgod okay im like certain ijusy got left by them. maybeit was on me for growing too attached to them in a week but I can’t help it I am a pathetic obsessive creep you can’t expect morr from me !!! I don’t know how to like someone any other way . . they didalso say they were leaving me twice then came back which may have been a red flag but i ignored it bevause i liked them so much. i dontknow why people keep doing this to me I just wantsomeone to stay withme forever but everything just goes wrong the second ai begin to yearn for someone. Even if I didn’t know them, why does that matter? I waited every second to hear from them and now they just aren’t here . . . i am more depedant than anyone I have met, i grow dependant in houes if the right buttons are pressed , does that just make me easy and make people grow bored of me ?

[tjsboogers]

CHAT EVERYTIME I VENT TO A REAL PERSON THEG ALWAYS GIVE ME THE FULL HONWST TRURH AND IM SICK OD IT i don’t care if I’m depending on ONE friendship why can’t they just tell me how to fix evertbingwand fix my whole entire life back together by getting ONE SINGLE PERSON BACK 🤓🤓 just tell meplwasew itsnot even that hard to just not lie to me why are you guys just saying “get better friends” WHO??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN MY WHOLE LIFE OVER AGAIN TO A NEW PERSON and they don’t get it they literally just start saying some shit like getting my life together well maybe it would be if I had a person and not myself like what’s wrong with me do I need to be nicer or something I try and care about everybody equally but I just end up getting ignored or like left out and shit I hate being called a cry baby I want to stop crying all the time but I can’t but it’s better than everythjng else I’ve been doing I just want my sort of bestfriend to make it atleast seem like they are trying to make an effort to be friends and I understand they’re going through stuff but they’re all I have left out of wverybdoy i know or have known because I hate meeting new people and getting close with them because it hurts when they leave after a really short time because they realize im actually a loser and I have to like build up my own self esteem by making myself think im better than everybdody I keep thinking my bwstfrined js gonna stay after we actually have a conversation after 2 weeks of just saying random shit and im like wait!!! This could be such a turning point right now im saved and im going to be fine now but like then it just repeats and repeats and repeats I feel like I need to die because he keeps talking about killjng himself and I need to die before anybody else dies ever in my life because when my mom died I got so bad in my head and shit it was embarrassing id actually have a stroke and a seizure if he died and it’s almost like he is dead bevause we never talk but everybody’s always like “everbody has their own lives” PLESE ride my cock and shutup

[a-dracon]

To Allure and Impede

SUMMARY: Marvin Lockens was fifteen when he was brought under Jameson Jackson’s wing and first started learning how to control and use his magic. Since then, he’s met Henrik Schneeplestein, the Castle’s doctor and his father figure, Chase Brody, the Castle’s Third in Command and best archer around, Jackie Bullmon, the Second in Command and Head Guard who’s always wearing red, and Sean McLoughlin, the King Himself, as well as various others. Yet, despite being with them for more than four years and proving to be a skilled mage, they all still treated him like the shy child they first met. And he was tired of it. What happens when he meets a stranger in the woods, who gives him cards to hand out and disappears into the shadows? What happens when he hides it from everyone? What happens at the Masquerade?

W̙͍̠̿̄͘h̬̲͇̻͎̍a̖̣͇̯͌̈͆ͯ̒͊̿t͇̗̖͕̻̽̄̑ ͚̼̜̪̥͎ͪͬ͊ͦͫ̉̚H̻̯͈͎͇͎͇ͣͣ͛͛ͣ̇ã̠̼̝̖̫̌̽ͯ̍̑p̝̌̐̿̔ͩͤṗ̷̻̳ͤ̂͋ͬ̋͒e̫̪̣̽̐ń͓͚̞͈̲̯͡s̶̀̐͋͂̈?̥̖͊͘

Chapter 2

Word count: 1587

Warnings: nostalgia, lies, high anxiety levels Whoop, chapter two is up and runnin! I had a bit of fun, mainly with the reminiscing part. Again, thank you to my beta readers, @lin-apples and @jackjames-exe . I dunno what else to say, except im not really sorry for the ending.

previous // next

"Marv, there you are! I got Sal and came back only to find you gone." Chase commented, approaching him with reins in each hand. He paused, examining the ruffled apprentice. "....what...happened to you? You're covered in mud and theres a buncha grass on your back. "

Marvin blinked, looking around. "What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about!" "....you sure?" Chhase looked at him suspiciously, handing him the reins to Sal. "Yeah, im perfectly alright, " Marvin replied, an attempt to brush off any concern. "I just thought I sensed something, but all it was is older magic. Like, weeks old, and I was barely able to sense it." Chase crossed his arms, sending him a blank look. "That doesn't explain the mud. " "....may or may not have fallen down a ditch...." Marvin looked away sheepishly as the guard began to laugh. Immediately the tips of his ears were turned pink. " Hey, its not funny!" He attempted to defend himself. "I can't really see when im looking for traces, my eyes have to be shut!" "Sure, sure. Whatever you say, " Chase waved his hand, yet still qore a smug grin on his face. "Now come on. I trust that you're alright, but it would be best if you got checked on. So go see Henrik after you change, okay?" "Fiiine" Marvin rolled his eyes, mounting his paint. He readjusted his cloak a bit once in a while as they rode home, chattering the entire ride home. Jokes were occasionally made, all the qay to the gate. Chase never noticed the new deck of cards on the sheath of his sword.

"Ah, Marvin! Good to see you, " Henrik Schneeplestein commented, looking up from the bandages that were currently being reorganized. "Sit, sit! What can I do for you?" "Hey doc, " Marvin commented, having pit on fresh clothes after washing off. "Chase sent me." Henrik huffed. "Why? Did zhe lad get stuck in something again? I warned him to not go down zhe laundry chutes!" He snorted, hopping onto the stool by the Castle medic. "As funny as that would be, no. Actually, i was out with him earlier and may or may not have fallen down a ditch..." "If I had a coin every time one of you fell down into something in zhe woods." Henrik rolled his eyes. "Is your ankle sprained or anything?" He set the box of bandages to the side and turned to face the apprentice. He ahook his head. "No, I feel fine. But Chase still wanted me to get an ok from you." "Considering how many falls he takes, I should be less surprised." Henrik stepped closer, examining a few joints and liftingthe back of Marvin's shirt to check for any bruising or scratches. All the while, the patient seemed unusually quiet. "...Is something zhe matter, Marvin? " Marvin blinked. "Hm? No, why do you ask?" "Well, its as if something is on your mind. Like something is concerning you." He thought for a moment. "Nothing comes to mind at the moment Doc. But I'll let you know if it ever changes." Henrik was hesitant to let him go so easily. If something was actually bugging him, then they should talk, right? "....Alright. But feel free to come and talk to zhe good doctor if ypu ever need to!" "Soooooo any other doctor. Got it." "I'll have you know I am a 100% qualified real doctor!" "I know, I know! Im kidding around Henrik." "Hmpf" He continued his examination , having him stand, walk around, hop, and do a couple of other basic actions to make sure he was alright and not feeling any pain. "Well, as far as I can tell, you seem to be physically alright. " "Thanks doc!" Marvin stretched, feeling a satisfying pop in his back. He walked over to the door, but paused. "....hey Henrik...?" -Hm?" The doctor had turned back to his work, reorganizing a few scattered papers on his desk. ".....nothing, nevermind, " he shook his head. Best not to disrupt someone busy, afterall. "See you at dinner?" "See you at dinner, Marvin." He replied, smiling behind the surgical mask he always wore.

Marvin inhaled, wandering the halls of the castle aimlessly. He knew where he was, since he had spent years already wandering the many rooms the stone building held. He knew where to turn to reach the ballroom, the dining room, the foyer, the library, as well as everyone's room. The Apprentice paused, looking up at a stained glass window. It was tall, showing a dark and a light figure. Solaris and Lunairis. The sun and the moon. As the hall continued to stretch further and further, the story of the creation of life continued being told. He took a few steps back, leaning against the walls. Eyes shut, head tilted up, and overall simply just basking in the memories and the nostalgia. Marvin chuckled to himself. When he first came here, he would always come back to this hall, always seeming to read the story on the windows just a little bit different each time. And each time, he could spend hours on end just sitting in this hall. What did he call it again? Hall of histories? Histories indeed. It not only reminded him of the history of the land, but his own history as well. His first spell took place here. He was continuously muttering the words, making sure he got them right. Next thing he knew, an entire suit of armor had toppled over. Marvin laughed, remembering how he ran away and hid for hours. The old grandfather clock chimed. Five o'clock. Almost time for dinner. With a sigh, he opened his eyes and continued his wandering. The difference now, though, was that his aim was for his own room.

"Hey teach!" Marvin opened the door to Jameson's office, smiling at his instructor and his sovereign. One arm cradled a book, the other held the door open. 'Hello Marvin,' Jameson signed, a small smile on his lips "Hey Marv!" Sean waved, currently sitting in the seat that was usually reserved for the mute mage. "Ohey Sean!" Marvin chimed, walking in with a pep to his steps. He set his book down on his chair, opting to sit on his desk instead. "Whatchu two doing?" 'Nothing much.' He signed, turning slightly so both Sean and Marvin could see and understand his sign language. 'Just discussing the Ball in a few days.' "The one for Mark's birthday? " Marvin asked, head slightly tilting. "Yeah, " Sean nodded. "Him and a few of his and my court members should be arriving over the next couple of days. They'll all be attending." "Is Felix coming, and will he be coming early?" He asked. Sean chuckled. "If I didn't invite him he'd probably send us a crate full of ducks again. And you know him. He's always early so he has a say in the decor. " "That sounds about right," Marvin shrugged. "And I do not have to attend the masquerade, right?" He winced slightly. "About that......no, you have to attend the masquerade." "What!" He squawked. "Why!? I've never had to attend before!" 'Because you're the next court mage. As such, you have to attend all functions,' Jameson signed calmly, not even flinching at the outburst. He had gotten used to it after teaching him for so long, afterall. "He's not wrong, Marv. We've given you the freedom to decide for the past four years." Sean spoke up, trying to play off the jump that was caused by Marvin's sudden outburst. "Jamie is already attending! Why do I have to go too?!" He protested. No, he didnt want this. 'We already told you.' Jamie signed. " That doesnt explain shit! It's my life, i shouldn't have to go if I don't want to!" "Marv, please just ca-" Sean was cut off by a sudden slam on the desk. Jameson had slammed the book that was previously in between his arm and side onto the wood desk loudly. He quickly began signing, even somehow adding a very angry tone to it. 'Marvin, listen to me! For the past four years we have given yo freedom and choice for every event bevause you were a child. But now its time to grow up. You aren't the child on the streets anymore so quit acting like it!' Marvin blinked. He could feel the tears building up, breathing becoming slightly more difficult. ".......you can't make me go if you can't find me. " Suddenly he was running, slamming the door open. He didn't care where to. He just needed out. He needed space. Safety. He needed to get away. He couldn't see. He could barely feel himself run into someone. Couldn't hear the shouts of alarm, the footsteps behind him. He didnt know how, but he reached his room. Yet, Marvin still didn't feel the freesom, the space he craved. The room was too small, too confining. He needed out. So, the young mage grabbed a bag, a clean and veey basic cloak, as well as a different, more basic mask. Marvin threw open the balcony doors, ignoring the feverent knocking at his door, the shouts to get his attention. He was already climbing down the vines that grew onto the walls of the stone. By the time someone unlocked the door, he would be gone. There would be no finding him anywhere on castle grounds. Marvin had run away.

[glorifiedbones]

i literslly hate you do much i hate hesring your goice and your laugh and the words you choose over others. i hate how everyone in the fsmily just ignored what you did to me. all the harm you cause me and inflicted on me. i hate how u went to court mandated therapy did your time and now its just back to normal. ntohing changed. you didnt change. ur still the disgust groos vile person before and im still stuck here desling with it and i cant escape. its always the same with you. nothing changes. nothing will ever fhange. i hate you i ahye you i hate you i hate you i hate you. i hate having to pretend. inhave to smile and sit in the same room with you and be okay and pretend like i dont want to rip my skull out and scoop my eyes out everytime you look at me or breathe nesr me. i hate that the way you used to look at me is still ingrained into my brain and on my skin. i hate that i feel like an object. o hate that everyone views my mental heslth that wss worsened because of this as some flippant unimportant undeserved emotions. i ahev every right to be angry. i haev every right to be disgusted. i have every rgoht to want to never be nesr him ahain but its between that or being ostracized by my entire fsmily. and ritht now i need them more than they need me. and i hate that the most. i hate that im dependent on all of you. i hate that so much becaiee it feelings like im drowning like i wont ever escape like the plastic around my throat is getting tighter and tigher and the grip you all hold over me wont ever let go. i hate that you all say if you dont like it just get out as if i havent been working towards that for yesrs and when i wss getting close you stripped that all away from me. i dont have anyone anymore. i dont have my family in the way that i need and should have. i dont have my friends anymore. i dont have my job or money or future snymore. you took away my future yesrs ago and i was finally starting to rebuild it again and you took it all away and i want to scream. i want to rip my skin off and run away. i want to slit my throat bevause even if i got away ill still be like this. this feeling… wont wver just go away. it doesnt matter how many pills i take or all the therapists and psychiatrists and doctors i see this will always be my normal now and i hate it i haye it i hate it i hate it ihate and i dont want to be here anymore i dont want to breathe andni dont see the point either nothings enjoyable anymore i dont want to do anything but die and i dont know how to be this thing that im not and i dont know how to live with myself and i hate what youve done to me

you were supposed to protect me and be there the most for me but in the end you just ruined me and destroyed my life and blamed me for speaking up and you blame me for you having to face the consequences of your actions and the worst part of it all is i was willing to be silent. i wasnt going to go to any authorities and i didnt tell the family and i just told one person who i thought was a friend and now it feels like my life is over. i guess its more over than it has begun if we’re honest with ourselves. how can one live a life when theres nothing to sustain it when theres nothing worth living for if i cant even find the joy in the most simplest or extravagant things. theres nothing that stands out to me and theres nothing that makes me want to laugh out loud and nothing that makes me want to scream at then top of my lungs and theres nothing that i look at that makes me think life is worth it after all. in fact everything i look at just makes me tired. im exhausted. im so over everything. i just want to be done.

[fuck-customers]

What can I say then

Ok, lemme preface this. I am a supervisor at a credit card call center. Basically I take calls from regular reps whose callers ask for a supervisor, nothing too hard. Alright so, this rep transfers to me; I answer Me: “Hi, my name is _____, I am a supervisor here at [insert na-]” Cardholder: “WHY ARE YOU TALKING SO FAST, I DONT APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO GET ME OFF THE PHONE.” Literally, I was speaking normal, sup calls don’t hurt my calls per hour I can take 2 hrs talking to this bitch and I’ll be fine. She didn’t even let me finish saying my shit. Ch: “what’s your name you didn’t say it” Me: ___ Ch: “what” Me: ___, (and it’s 3 letters so I spelled it out) Ch: I don’t like you spelling it out I’m not stupid. Me: ~ok~ “how May i assist you ma’am” Ch: I DONT LIKE YOU CALLING ME MAAM. THATS NOT MY NAME. MY PARENTS DIDNT NAME ME MAAM.” Honestly, it’s habit. I don’t call them by their first/last name bc people don’t like that. Sir/ma’am are my words, so I apologize right. Me: “I’m sorry, so how may I help?” Ch: “well my payment is 30.77$, I need to know why it’s an even number, I need odd numbers because that’s what goes well with my check, and my due date isn’t working for me.” Me: “ok so-“ (I’m about to rephrase what she says bc I’ve learn people like that bc it shows I listened right, but I just say it so I remember everything and do it in a way it’ll fit the acct. ch: “I DONT LIKE IT WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME “ok so”, IT JUST SHOWS ME THAT THEY DONT CARE WHAT IM CALLING ABOUT. I JUST SPENT 4 MINUTES WAITING FOR YOU TO ANSWER AND YOURE GONNA COME TO ME AND SAY “ok so”.” Me: “It’s not that I don’t care, I just have to make sure I caught everything you said. First, your pymt is 30$ or 7% of your balance, whichever is greater. It’s 30.77$ because you’re over by 77 cents, if the even numbers aren’t working you can always round it to an odd number of your choosing, and in regards to your due da-“. Ch: “I DONT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. YOURE NOT MY MOM. PLUS NO ONE TOLD ME ITD BE 30$ a month.” Keep in mind she’s had this acct since 2015. Me: “Well, when you applied the teems&conditions stated your pymts would be 30$/7% of your Bal, whichever is greater. Now, we can’t tel-“ Ch: “I HATE HEARING THAT YOU CANT DO SOMETHING. I AM A CUSTOMER, I DIDNT CALL TO HEAR A ‘NO’, I AM A CUSTOMER AND IM CALING FOR HELP.” Me: “alright and I get that, I am trying to help but you keep saying you don’t like what I am telling you. I have to tell you what we can/can’t do, I can’t just ignore what you said and tell you something else. Now, you can pay 31$ that’s not issue. You’re just paying a bit more than the minimum that’s fine. In regards to your due date, (it’s currently on the 5th of each month) what date would you like?” Ch: “the 1st or 15th.” Here’s where I got frustrated, she’s due on the 5th, and she usually pays on the 3rd or 4th, so early. She’s requesting her due date 4 days earlier for whatever reason. I’m not in her life so whatever, she sounded hesitant when she said first, so I check the 15th. Me: (keep in mind I can’t say “can’t” bc shell cut me off and we’ll get nowhere) “unfortunately we are unable to select the 15th as a due date, but the 14th or 16th work, do either of those work for you?” Ch: “16th is fine.” Me: “ok, before I select that I have to remind you, you can only change your due date once every twelve months, do you still wish to select the 16th of each month?” Ch: “what day is the 16th next month (12-16-17)?” Me: “saturday.” Ch: “I CANT HAVE A SATURDAY I NEED THURSAYS I GET PAID THURSDAYS.” Me: “we ca-, I mean we don’t choose certain daYS, for due daTES, we need a numberic daTE(#) that works for you. Not daYS (sun-mon).” Ch: “I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOURE MAKING THIS SO HARD FOR ME.” Me: “I’m not trying to, I’m trying to help, so what daTE works for you?” Ch: “The 1st.” Me: “ok so again, before I select that I have to remind you, you can only change your due date once every twelve months, do you still wish to select the 1st of each month?” Ch: “NEXT MONTH ITS A FRIDAY AND THEN IN JANUARY ITS A MONDAY, NO THAT DOESNT WORK. I NEED THURSDAYS.” Me: “I’m sorry but we ca-, don’t choose daYS, we have daTE-“ Ch: “I DONT LIKE HEARING WHAT YOU DONT DO I HATE WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME WHAG THEY DONT DO.” Me: “I have to tell you what is available and what is not, I cannot please everything you’re wanting. I cannot lie to you and say we can do things we can’t, I’m very sorry you hate all I’m saying but I have to do my job of letting you know your options.” Ch: “I DONT KNOW WHY YOURE MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME. YOU JUST DONT WANT TO HELP.” Me: “I am TRYIN-“ Ch: “WHY DO YOU TALK WHEN IM ABOUT TO TALK. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TALK WHEN IM THINKING OF WHAT TO SAY.” Me: “so what daTE, are you looking for?” Ch: “I DONT KNOW. WHAT WORKS FOR ME DOESNT WORK FOR YOU. YOURE SO HARD TO TALK TO.” Me: (I’m starting to get mad) “you gave me the 1st and 15th, I told you the 1st works and either 14th or 16th work. You keep saying you need a Thursday but we do not choose daYS. We choose daTES. You said the 16th and then said no and chose the 1st, I was about to confirm the 1st and you said no bc they fall on different daYS of the week each month. We don’t choose the daYS they fall on. Jus-“ Ch: “I KNOW YOU DONT OK. IM NOT A CHILD. I HATE WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE A CHILD. I HAYE THAT YOU REPEAT YOUR SELF I JUST, AM SO FRUSTRATED BEVAUSE YOURE JUST MAKING ME MAD.” Me: “Thats not my intention, what daTE works for you? That’s all I need.” Ch: “I DONT KNOW OK I DONT KNOW” Basically my call was 26 mins long, of her telling me she hates everything that I said and ended up requesting another supervisor and just hung up on him bc he was a male. Tl;dr: lady hates not getting her way.

[rvb-junior]

Anonymous ask: do you have any pets? What are their names? Why do you keep them? What got you into keeping them? Do you have any future pet plans? 💖💖

Ok anon do u really wanna get into this convo? Itll take a while.

Okay so im at college so rn the only pets with me are my fishb a male halfmoon plakat named Cosmos Florence the second, a nerite snail named Nertb and a black mystery named Onyx. I keep them because god man i just. I just love em so much ya know? Its like. I have this little ball of hate and rage in my dorm who has such a beautiful personality and then to complement that i have these chill snaild who r just trying really hard. Back home we have even more pets and oh man oh man i love them?? They are what love and joy looks like?? We have my dogs, cat, turtle, lizards, birds, hairless guinea pigs, fish, and chickens.

The chickens are named Short Bread and Oreo bevause of how they looked when they were younger. Oreo is a little spunkyer that Short bread while i think short bread is a little…. Confused? Yeah just generally confused by everything.

We have Mr. T, our full grown, healthy red ear slider who lives in a small pond in the back yard with a few feeder fish he never ate. Those fish have grown to be his pals and he just. Hase never eaten them.

Then we have the birds, Able, who likes to tell at you if u look at her to long. Her hobbys are chewing through toys as she is hanging from them and being suprised when she falls. We then have Birbank, named after the airport my dad found him at, who lives very closely with his bf Ruby. Birbank is a grey and white cockatiel and Ruby is a green Indian Ringneck. They had being more than 2 feet apart for longer than 2 seconds and often u will find Ruby yelling when Birbank flys somewhere he cant go (ruby doesnt know how to fly) and birbank screaming when he realises the mistake he made. Ruby likes to give people kisses and is a lover, not a fighter. Birbank likes to hiss at peanuts and ignore everything besides Ruby. Next we have our Canary, Mango whos fav food is blue berrys and kale. He likes to sing when he hears trumpets and my flute. He has a club foot so when we adopted him the bird rescue we got him from was relived because no one else would take him. He is the most graceful flying bird i have ever seen! Finally we have the zebra finch named Shimmy. When we first adopted him he had a super bad plucking problem and was almost completly bald but hes doing much better now, aggressivly peeping when he hears the canary.

Okay now we have 2 lizards, a leopard gecko named Romeo and a crested gecko named Gargoyle. Romeo is a sweet boi with a chubby tail who loves his crickets fast and his meal worms slow. He has one of those reptile hammocks but he prefers climding his cave more. Gargoyle is a sweet girl who will only eat her food when it starts to harden again for some reason. We dont know why but she does and shes kinda a butt. But ya gotta love her!

Our cat’s name is Figaro and she’s currently bald. She had to get shaved, the vet said shes getting up in her years so when she stopped grooming for a month and got matts in her long fur they said she had basicly cat arthritis. Shes doing good and her hobbies are (well atleast when i was home) meowing in my mouth at 3 am to tell me she ate all her food and wanted more.

Wr have 5 dogs so just get ready for that. All our dogs but 1 is a rescue. Coal is a chow/black lab mix. She was adopted as a pup from a local animal rescue and she kniws the mist tricks. Shes a good girl who likes hugs, treats, and when u massage her face. Her favorite toy is a yellow stick that she will bring to you when asked. Shes the second youngest! Lily is the youngest, i sometiems call her satan but only because she is a trickster! You will turn around and shell be on the table eating food, stealing anything from coal, and trying to think up world domination. She and Coal are super close, when we got her Coal went all MaMa dog and now they are inseparable. What makes it better is that Lily is a half Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix so shes tiny next to Coal. Our third youngest is Scarlet, wr think shes the product of a long hair Chihuahua and a deer head Chihuahua. Shes a primadonna who enjoys her alone time and pets. She also like to be held, mainly like a baby so u can hold her and tub her tum. She also REALLY LIKES CAR RIDES like man even going to the vet shes jazzed. Second oldest is Vinnie, a pug my bro ham adopted. Hes super sweet and good he likes face squishes and whrn he naps his tail uncurles. He stands very proper like hes a gentleman and likes to sit on ur feat. He has a grain allergy so he eats special grain free food. Next we have the oldest of our dogs MY SWEET BABY GIRL GIGI. shes my sun and moon. We got gigi when i was 8 and when i was 10 my sister went to college, leaving her for me to takr care of. And well, shes literally the most important thing in the world to me. My sister got her from a breader (which i dont like cus dogs in shelters need homes) but shes a Brussels Griffon so the breader croped her ears and tail. I DO NOT CONDONE THE PRACTICE OF CROPPING AND PART OF A DOG UNLESS SUGGESTED BY A VET, SOME DOGS GET THEIR TAILS CROPPED BECAUS ETHEY BREAK BONES IN THEM AND THAT IS THE ONLY CROPPING I CONDONE. Her ears were cropped lopsidedb and improperly which brought many problems to her later on. She developed many ear infections that have caused her to scratch her ears until they bleed, has had medication for 3 different ear infections, and has almost no ear canal left. Her vet has told us she is almost deef. Also as she got older she got chronic dry eye and takes medicated eye drops for it but shes fine as long as she has those. She needs loud or sharp sounds to get her attention so i trained her to respond to clapping, whistling (which i do very loudly) and snapping fingers. She is a sweet heartb adn a super velcro dog! I cried for three days after i had to go to college and they drive her up to visit me. When im home she goes looking for me if im out of site for 2 minutes, will wait at the bathroom door for me, stare up the stairs when i go to shower, and press her face against closed doors she knows i went through. Whne she does the last thing i have to drum my fingers on the door so she knows to move back before i open it. I miss her horribly and i skype her almost every day, she gets super excited! The first few days i was gone she actually wouldnt stop barking at night. Shes also a cuddle baby and she doesnt sleep unless she is touching me ao it was probably rough for her. I miss her but ill be able to see her in october when i go to my sisters wedding.

The fish! Okay so my mother has a 75 gallon gold fish aquarium and a 30 gallon in the garage with nithing in it yet (shes thinking tetras). The gold fish tank has 2 butter fly tails and some bristle nose plecos. It also has many a snail rn! A friend of ours dismantled a large aquarium of his own ( he is going through a very hard time financially and im hoping everything works out for him) and gave us the plecos and snails. The snails are 3 rabbit snailsb one nerite (he gave us 2 but the other is with my betta) a few black mysteries, and a golden apple who i named Big Mama.

Lemme tell u about big mama real fast. I call her this because, first of all shes a full grown golden appleb second of all because shes a mama. He had a live planted tank thich included a moss ball he has been taking care of for 5 year, its the size of my head and when we put it in the 75 gallon it because the main pice of the tank. What we found out later was that Big Mama had made her family in ut and we have abou 20 BABY GOLDEN APPLES IN THERE ALONE!! He also gave us an anibius fern which i put in my betta’s tank and after getting to college and living hear for a few weeks i found out there were eggs on it because I KNOW HAVE MANY A BABY GOLDEN APPLE. these ones tho r much smaller than the moss ball ones, mine being hatchlings and those being the size of a finger nail. But anyway they have grown large enough where i can tell they r not pest snails and i will be rehoming them to other fish keepers in my dorms once they get a little bigger.

My mom has 3 hairless guinea pigs. Did you know that at petco people tend to walk in and drop off pets they “just dont want any more”? Well it hapoens a lot and my mom fell in love with them instantly. We have Billy, the oldest, Piggy, the middle in age, and sweet baby Bear who is small and young. They are all good boys and are doing very well so far in their new home! My mom had already owned billy and was looking into getting him friends, (guinea pigs live friends! They actually should be kept in atleast pairs but we were not aware at first, now we know better) all three of them are being slowly introduced! Bear and Piggy already live together but we dont want to rush this process and put billy right into the mix, that would probably be the worst think. They are slowly beibg acclimated to eachother.

I guess you could say i love pets because they are sweet and wonderful. I keep most of them because i know i can care for them, that i have the space, and the resources. I have the time and the will to foster a loving home for all my pets, and so does my family. Animals are a big part of my life and i love all of them with all my heart.

My future plans? Well nothing soon! Im in a dorm so Cosmos and his snail friends are all ivr got planed rn. But i hope to, onece in the distante future, get a tank with a school of danionella dracula in it, they are tiny fishb only getting half an inch in side. But id need a good tank for them since they school about 12 and id like to do the whome thing live plants (i also want one of those rimless aquatiums hnnnnnnnngh) i hope to upgrade cosmos to a larger aquarium b currently hes in a 2.5 which is enough for a betta, sure, but id rather he be in a 5 gallon. But really? I just wanna go home n be with GiGi more than anything.

Thank you for the ask!

[buried-teeth]

Em's bad thoughts Part 2 ignore me

I didn't do the thing that I know would silence these thoughts for a little bit.. I couldn't bring myself to do it again when things are already shit. I've been crying for the past hour, but just silently. Everything hurts so much. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do really. I can't do anything. I cabt i. I wish I wasn't so awful. I'm sorry I am. I hope you are okay.. I wish you knew I really do love you. Fuck. I can't stop crying and my chest hurts bevause im sick and just Idk. My visions all blurry. I can't stop thinking about what someone said to me just now.. "thank you for being alive." Why'd they gotta say that right now? Right at this moment when my head is telling me everything would be better if I weren't alive. Why do you care. Why. Why do I keep crying oh my god. Ive barely ate and my dad offered me pizza for dinner but i just cant. I,cant. I wonder if he even knows something is going on inside my head. Does he even care? I dont know. I dont know. This is dumb. Im sorry if you see this on your dash just ignore. I'm going to pass out soon my body is so exhausted and my mind aches.

[howcanyoubesure]

Things weren’t like this last year.

I mean yes, in some kind of way but somehow were better.

Right now, I’m starting to talk with my old friends (yay) but I’m tired. 

Not only phisically but emotionally.

Last week I didn’t speak to my mom nor she did. 

I’m mad at my friend because he got offended at a silly joke I made and now I guess we’re both ignoring each other. He has done worst jokes and I don’t get mad. Well, however. Let’s see what happens. Yet still, I won’t be the one to speak first. 

Homework, homework, homework.

Fucking jesus. It’s really tiring y’know. I never memorize my schedule because I don’t think it is worth it and also last week I think they announced that this week is exam week so yes. Fuck off. I want death.     Anywayssss, I never study for exams because that’s boring, I think that if you pay attention in class, you’ll learn... ha ha that’s funny because I can’t pay attention to a single thing but I get to memorize things fast so that’s good.

Ah but you haven’t heard the best part:

I’m sick. Hell yes. My trhoat hurts and I sneeze every. single. minute.my head hurts too and so does my body. But have you taken meds? ahhh yes. Fuck meds. I hate meds. burn in hell jerks. or should I? I think the answer is me. at least in hell i wouldn’t have to take that shit when sick. but well,i wouldn’t get sick bevause i’d be dead. so it’s a win win cuz i wouldn’t have to deal with the every day problems nor meds. jeez. 

I’m waking up in five hours (or less idk i dont wanna make math rn) and fuck off. im doing homework. i mean, it ain’t for tomorrow but i’m doing it now cuz im resposible. shit. 

out of like 7 long ass homeworks, i’ve done 6 (counting this once it’s finished) and it makes me happy bc im stressing the shit out of me rn 

Oh man

I just saw a big ass cockroach on the floor.

I want death. or do i want it’s death?

[askthewitchlady]

Ok you know what I cant be doing this its the day after christmas and my only point in this whole thing is the care and well being of my disabled cousin.

Someone has pointed out that we're missing each others points.

So im going to try and ecplaine my thought procesd and clear this whole thong up but first I will appologize for jumping the gun and being so defensive. I am sorry for lashing out with out considering that maybe you werent attaking me but just very passionet about you veiw or misunderstood my point.

Ok as for the other post I honestly did not see it untill the girl tagged me directly and I went dack to look. When I got the notification it took me right to your part as the most recent post. I never ment to talk over her or ignore her position it was an honest mistake.

Now onto the matter at hand.

I am not saying all disabled people need to be done. Ill admit I want to be done but thats my choice. Ill admit part of my anger on my cousins behalf is that they ignor my wishes when I can fully articulate them.

I just want her done for the sake of her quality of life. It has nothing to do with her being disabled and everything to do with her comfort if that makes sense I dont want her done because I dont want her to have a baby I want her done bevause shell never be able to so she shouldnt have to keep bleeding for no reason.

As for the proceedure and its after effects. The way Ive always seen it is that the compatably briefe time it would take to heal as opposed to a lifetime of monthly horror shows is worth it.

Now why am I so sure she dosent understand? We spent three years preparing her for this and she still dose not understand. She cant speak or write. At best she can get out a few words but rarely knows what they mean short if proper names (she can tell you the whole cast of mlp names but cant tell anyone her name unless prompted and even then she barely can)

She cant say specifically she dosent want a baby because she will never understand what that means. Heck she cant even tell us when she needs to use the loo every half hour we take her to go and even then shes wet herself between visits because she fosent know to ask or what being in the bathroom means.

If I ask her dose she want a baby she may say yes thinking its a candy or say no simply because shes in a bad mood and wants nothing. I dont know how to explaine to you that asking her would make no diffrence bevause she dosent understand the question.

I have always advocated for the rights of the disabled perhaps a bit to agressivly for anyone in my family. Ultimately all I want is life to be easier fir her. Thats all nothing else. Just a happy life. Thats all I can say.

As always I wish a lot more feminists recognised that reproductive rights is not only about the right to not have children, but also the right to have children

Access to abortion is important, but so is fighting forced sterilisation, which almost always targets marginalised groups, especially disabled women, trans women, poor women and women of colour (and lets not pretend that doesn’t factor into why the issue is looked over by more privileged feminists)

They are both issues of reproductive rights and bodily autonomy and you can not have one without the other