#YOU HAD TO BE THEREEEEE

[roeswater]

its finally 80 degrees and sunny

[watermotif]

nowadays everybody wanna talk they forgot how to listen til the prophets arisen we mix new edition with nuclear fission i don't do auditions i don't ask permission ain't no politician don't ask my opinion you got an addiction to what ain't your business make the admission i make like magicians and hit my houdini

[batsplat]

idc about people being misinformed about silly sports stuff because life's too short BUT there has been one too many things recently where I'm a bit... hm. I feel the rossi/lorenzo garage situation is long enough ago now that the general understanding of this dynamic is... only very loosely correlated to reality... and now it's being discussed a lot and a lot of the takes aren't really... you know. I don't actually care about fact checking because again. who cares. but a lot of the times it's like... the truth is more interesting than this version of events that is being spread around feat. heavy flanderisation I swear...

[crossxskulled]

He didn't find any glances or gazes she had unnatural. Not in the least, with the split between looking like some wet mutt to the reveal of triumphs made of scarred skin, the exposure was inevitable as it was natural. It reminds Ryuji of the many discussions carried into the night about their adventures, prior and present, so that's when an impulsive offer found itself made as the warmth of her track jacket served to stave the cold away.

Part of him was questioning if that heater in the stairwell behind them might do the trick a bit more, it's tacked on as an idle thought.

Right now, Haru found herself carrying all of the current.

In fact there was something endearing in the ways her words fumbled, bowling over like some poor sap before an entryway stuffed with shoes. The atmosphere she carries just never damn failed in keeping things lighthearted, keeping them peaceful in a way he appreciates, leaving him entirely off guard the instant her hard working fingers begin to reveal his complexion underneath the shirt, just enough to make a mild rise of gooseflesh fleck over his skin.

Despite making the offer with a head full of heart and no mind, the tension experienced is by no means painful, rather, that excitable, lively awareness found itself burning vibrantly wherever the mildly ticklish trail her fingers left. Warmth found itself brewing within his face, stalled from growing the instant he catches that momentary fluster melting down to that genuine concern that captured his eyes from the very start.

Even the flora laden rooftops of Shujin found themselves erased from mind, concentrating Haru's reaction in particular.

"Medals, huh? Heheh, hopefully not something I'll get first place in anytime soon." He's not ignorant to how morbid that sounds, but, it certainly did draw a smile on his face.

"I can save the full package for when I'm a touch more dried up, but this one was during the time in Futaba's heart. Lookin' out for the guy's per usual, really scraped by the skin of our teeth."

"So y'know, I got a good idea on what'cha mean by that.." Knowing that the days ahead aren't promised, once upon a time, it made a shamefully more egotistical side of him become.. entitled, a time he's never been more happy to be torn away from due to harsh lessons.

Now, if only those thoughts could persist, everything found itself being swept from underneath his feet the instant those soft, strong hands sought his in a measure of support. The squeezing immediately cause his fingers to return the gesture regardless of the way his heart began to hammer. Her thoughts on the matter caused a boisterous laugh to immediately rise.

"Hell, please? I don't mind being a soppin' wet mess during the summer, but anything else and it really would kick my ass. C'mon, I got some spare stuff I can kick on 'round the lockers." He doesn't miss a beat in whisking her along, a touch too stubborn to end how their hands joined as he begins to lead her through the stairwell.

That said, he sure gave one of those melting-ly pleasant sighs feeling the currents of heat humming through the radiators.

"Iiiiiii.. Think I could get a lil use to this. Never knew this was how good the plants have it while in your care, almost makes a guy a lil jealous." With how content his voice sounds, it's clear the bliss of not just the warmth-- but holding hands with her was working its magic.

@arcanascompendium​

[evandore]

wait this is crszy i was literally so sad yesterday cause i had no idea how people made fingerpicking patterns for original songs but i think ive figured it out...the beginner version at least LOL

[tormentedbythirst]

Am I fucking cracking here?

Because. I feel like....I posted on their pages, I get awarded Top Fan, I gleefully accept but then also fuck my posts? Like. Huh???? I understood the first time it happened, I had linked to a vid that had nothing to do with him so it makes sense he wouldn't want that on his page. Literally the second time it happened I had merely @'d . What was wrong about that? Because I hadn't tagged purely him? OH OKAY..IT SHOWS UP ON NEITHER OF THEIR PAGES??? WHAT. bro. Does that mean....they saw it and hid it whyyyy? What. I am so confused yo................w h a ttttttttttttttttt.

[exoexid]

just saw a post about seraph of the end on 2023....... i feel like a 14 yo again

[1-800-be-my-baby]

JJ taking care of hypersensitive!reader by cradling her nd fingering her:(

wrote this half asleep, not proofread. MDNI 18+. sorry this took so long, hope you like it my love.

you were sitting at your vanity getting ready for your date with jj. you were blasting your favorite playlist, humming along to the music while applying your makeup. jj had finished getting ready a while ago and was now just sitting on your bed waiting for you.

you lean closer to the mirror, needing all your focus to go into your eyeliner. you turn to your boyfriend after finishing one eye.

“hey baby does my eyeliner look okay?”

“yes it looks perfect baby.” you hum in acknowledgment and then back to do the other eye. your good mood instantly turns sour when your hand slips and you mess up your eyeliner.

“ughhh!” you throw your eyeliner down and cover your face with your hands.

your boyfriend walks over to where you’re sitting. “baby what’s wrong? what happened.” the last bit of restraint you had in you snaps when you look up at him, his face full of worry. tears start streaming past your mascara clad eyelashes.

“what- hey why are you crying? talk to me?” jj squats down, holding your hands in his.

“i messed up my eyeliner.” you let out a sniffle, the tears still pouring down your face.

“it’s okay baby come here. we don’t have to go anywhere we can just stay here. yeah?” he lifts you into his arms carrying you into the bed. he places you into his lap, wiping your tears away. “let me help you feel better mama.” you nod your head, embarrassment slowly starting to gnaw at your insides.

he kisses your head, sliding one hand across your stomach under your shirt, and laying his other hand across your chest. your breath comes out as a small gasp when he begins rubbing his pinky up and down your stomach, slowly coming in contact with the waistband of your shorts.

“shhhh, just relaxxxx mama. i got you.” he leans his head down, placing small kisses on your neck, your eyes slowly closing.

he slips his fingers past the band of your shorts, not moving them any further. you let out a small impatient whine as your hips slightly buck up, needing friction. jj lets out a chuckle underneath his breath, sensing your desperation he finally makes contact with your pulsing cunt.

a sigh of relief expels from your lips when he finally drags his fingers through your sticky folds. “always so wet for me.”

“mhm” is the only response you can give, nuzzling your head underneath jj’s chin.

you let out quiet whimpers as he drags small circles across your clit. “wanna take these shorts off for me?” you nod, your hands shooting to your shorts, eagerly sliding them off.

he hooks his arm under your knees, bringing them to your chest. before you can question what he’s doing, his fingers are back on your glistening pussy. he slides a finger inside you, slowly pumping in and out. you let out a moan, eyes already filling with tears. he adds another finger, moving faster. your hips jerk as you let out a loud cry.

“does that feel good pretty girl?”

“mhm. really good.” his fingers curl inside you, the burning sensation in your tummy slowly intensifying. the only noises filling the room right now is your whimpers and the squelching of your pussy.

your nails dig into his thigh when his palm perfectly hits your clit with each thrust. “i love you so much. you’re so beautiful.” jj murmurs into your hair, causing you to clench around his fingers. “loveyoutoo” your breath hitches in your throat, your release getting closer and closer.

“you gonna cum for me baby?”

“yes!” you let out a loud squeal as his pace increases. “i’m gonna-” your release gushes out of you before you can even finish warning him.

“thereeeee you go. that’s it.” he helps you ride out your high, before slowly removing his fingers from your now sensitive cunt. you turn around, giving jj a long kiss, doing your best at pouring as much love into it as you possibly can.

you place a series of kisses on his lips before laying your head on his chest. “thank you jj.”

“you’re welcome pretty girl. now let’s go take off that makeup while i order us food. then we can watch a movie. how does that sound?” he runs his hand through your hair.

“okay” you hum out, getting up and making your way to the bathroom. jj’s heart swells with love, grateful he gets to call you his.

[coalisawesome]

twitter was mean and malicious and bcz of copyright reasons i had to take my sprakit animation down thereeeee so you know what im posting the full thing here out of spite you can watch the yt version here https://youtu.be/qiHpdFHKY0Y

[suzie-shooter]

Alex Rider season 3 unhinged liveblog ramblings scribbled during first watch. Spoilers, obvs. (also fair warning, I am not particularly a fan of Tom or Kyra lol)

Episode 1 - Widow

S2 recap trivia - Alex's therapist is Molly Doran from Slow Horses and married to Alan Blunt IRL

Malta: Ok, so we're not just going to pretend it's Venice lol.

Creepy old men already hitting on Alex. Standard.

"After this we're out of leads." How do you even have any leads in the first place? Oh ok, Smithers' phone. Terrible security protocols from him, leaving that much historical classified data on it.

"Find the Widow - surely he could have given you an address?" First thing Tom's ever said I've agreed with lmao

Aaaand within a second he's back to being deeply irritating, okay.

Yassen living rent free in Alex's head, you love to see it.

"They've got this picture of me being the responsible one." Have Tom's parents actually met him?

Ooh Razim mention.

You maybe want to clean that wound before whacking a dressing on it Alex?

"Do you think you'll ever lose your appetite Nile?" Spat my drink.

Damn, no harem pants then. Scrubs up well tho.

Listing Levin in the opening credits than having him be only a S2 flashback should be a warcrime.

Episode 2 - Lab

"This weapon is called pork sword, wait, no, shit, wrong USB."

"Julia Rothman. Definitely a wrong un." Spat my drink again.

Do Crawley and Pritchard not warrant helmets and visors? Are they somehow immune to shrapnel?

So, room 6, wired to blow, yes? It's what I'd do…

Oh yeah sure guys, they're going to still be sitting there, all unmoving in the dark, for sure that's a person, and not a Massive Trap.

Thereeeee we go. Agent mince. Top of your class huh, well you're certainly at the top now, and down the sides and partially out of the window.

I know there's the whole 'characters don't know what genre they're in' thing but you are literally in the 'working for MI6 genre', you are up against people notorious for booby traps and blowing shit up, why the fuck would you touch something that hadn't been declared safe first? Apart from anything else you're fucking up the scene before forensics get there.

"I love you man." Vom.

Alex: breaks into super sekkrit lab. Also Alex: doesn't have the faintest fucking idea what he's looking at, so not really helpful.

COMICALLY LARGE BOMB KLAXON.

Episode 3 - Enemy

"Welcome to Malagosto." OooOOooh.

Maybe I'm just looking at it from a fic writer's perspective but it does seem a massive anticlimax to immediately let Tom and Kyra know Alex is okay? Like, you could have got a good couple of episodes of angst out of that uncertainty.

"Do you want me to kill them?" Oh God yes please.

Why the fuck have they plugged the USB directly into the network rather than an isolated PC? 'Hur dur we checked it first', you literally believe Scorpia are smart enough to not be bluffing about the nebulous death threat but you don't think they could hide something on the hardware? Fuck's sake lads. Amateur hour.

Is this Home Secretary meant to be Suella Braverman? Or Priti Patel maybe lol. (Equal rights and all that, and if it had been a white male character I don't think I would have thought twice about the dialogue but having both your two new female characters be immediately proved wrong/ massively patronised/ blown up ain't hugely comfortable viewing tbh).

HOW MANY FICS INVOLVING ALEX GETTING FUCKED ON THAT BED HAVE JUST BEEN BORN?

"Are you suggesting we break into a dead man's house?" "It's not like he's going to be there." 😂

"He became a very close friend of mine." Fnar.

Omg making Alex read his father's love letters is hilarious.

Alex: you could have faked that news report Also Alex: handwriting can definitely never be faked (how is Alex even familiar with his dead father's handwriting? wouldn't recognise mine)

Ugh please stop trying to make Alex/Kyra happen.

Alex up the vent shaft. I hope they're sitting casually at the top going - you could have just taken the stairs love.

If he's climbing upwards, why is his hair dangling like he's upside down? Have they filmed this like 60's Batman, and he's just crawling along a horizontal set lol.

Alex never once asks about his mother does he. Given the shagger-John route they seem to have gone down you almost think Julia would be in a better shout of getting Alex to switch sides by claiming to be his mother.

And - yeah, Alex's recruitment just doesn't feel that convincing here. Adding Tom/Kyra/Jack so much to the mix has changed the feel of his life a lot, and TV verse Alex has had a lot less fucking over by the Department by this point too. And Rothman feels too creepy to be effectively convincing him of anything.

"I want you to meet your tutor." FUCK YES FINALLY 🙌 (may have rewound that part several times lol)

Episode 4 - Recruit

Nicaragua: 18 years ago OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING

Baby Yassen is adorable, I'm in love.

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FUCKIN SPIDER THING

OH MY GOD THE REVEAL OF HIM STANDING OVER THE SLEEPING ALEX I'M DEAD

(Ok, I'm calm again. For now. We continue.)

"You killed my uncle" - all the hundreds of ways this conversation has been written over the years and Yassen's just like lol get over it 😂 (here for it tbh)

Rothman: He's one of our best Yassen: One of? Bitch.

Yassen watching Alex train like 👀👀

"Did he ever tell you you're no fun?" Oh you want to have FUN with Yassen do you?

Yassen bitchslapping Alex to fuck, both hilarious and hot.

Oh, you want to be WET wet.

"Matteo's the guy with the blanket." Why is that so funny.

Omg Yassen stepping in to protect his boy and humiliating Nile in the process lol. And Alex doing what Yassen tells him, because of course he does 🥰

"This one is my responsibility" 🥰🥰

"What about love, friendship?" Alex has only known Yassen five minutes and is already down bad.

"Kind of lonely though, right?" Yeah, Yassen needs you at his side Alex, so step up and stop being a whiny little bitch about killing people.

Never get in the first taxi, rule one of espionage.

Yep, called it. Tom's like: I'll have my fucking tip back in that case.

This scene is so dark I have no fucking idea what's going on, I thought Nile had attacked Alex, but apparently not. Is Nile officially part of this exercise or not, it seems really unclear lol.

The power of friendship and sparklerabbits saves the day, apparently. Yawn.

Jesus, we really ATE with this ep, huh.

Episode 5 - Revenge

"Would you rather your arms around me, or my arms around you?" Way to make it creepy Tom you skeevy fuck.

"Can we focus please?" "We're multi-tasking."

Sure Grendel, rock up to the super sekkrit spy base in a massively conspicuous car why don't you?

"Yassen will give you everything you need." Oh I BET he will.

Feels sloppy them not removing the diffuser from the vent tbh.

"What does this say?" Alex hasn't inherited John's neat handwriting then lol. Alex leaning into him like that > me making noises only dogs can hear.

"You've put lockpick?" "I left my last one in Nile."

Ooh, suicide pill, nasty. Kind've pointless though, given they've been left with the evidence anyway.

Yassen in Alex's bedroom again, likely place for him to be.

"I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to die." 🥹💕🥰

Yalex roadtrip, let's goooo.

Disappointed they're not making Alex do the Entrapment infrared acrobatic sequence here lol.

If this is Yassen's idea of a date it definitely needs work.

So no surprise scorpions then? Can't have shit in Detroit Malta.

"Why? Why did she kill him?" Well taking things at face value here he was a highly murderous member of a terrorist organisation, so you know, kind've her job.

Yassen does like a casual lean, doesn't he.

Episode 6 - Target

Alex and Yassen have shacked up in London, hope there's only one bed.

Now they're in the back of a van, SO many opportunities for shagging, they're spoilt for choice.

Yassen's impressed look when Alex reels off all the security details, so proud of his boy.

"What happened to my mum?" Finally he wonders lol.

"And I'm good at it. You could be too." 🥹

"You think Alex killed him?" I mean, he was also there with a notorious assassin, so probably not, y'know.

Domestic Yassen cooking Alex's dinner and also cooking him a gun lol.

Smithers' "How I've missed you" ahahaha. Smithers/Kyra much better pairing tbh.

"He's actually quite good at this stuff." Smithers' little snort lmao

Time for Alex to be blacked up/ dunked in a teabag bath/ gussied up. Although he still looks exactly like Alex afterwards, which feels less useful lol.

"You love him, don't you?" Yassen loves him more. I have to say Alex had far more chemistry with Syl, and frankly for that matter with Tom. I really don't get the Kyra agenda.

"It's a dry hole." Alex's worst nightmare.

Is Alex going to look through Mrs Jones' knicker drawer?

Episode 7 - The Shot

Mrs Jones and her tall murderous hobbit son lol. Otto really looks about 58 here.

Hope they bill him for her fucked up fridge.

Is that Bath? Oh, it is.

Mrs Jones casually throwing Alex back into play lol. Maybe she can have a little revenge for him trying to shoot her.

"Everyone breaks into houses." Jack's face lol

Ewww put him down, you don't know where he's been (Yassen's bed, almost certainly)

"Remember they can't hurt you unless you invite them in." "That's vampires."

Yassen arguing in favour of going to rescue Alex MY HEART

"Sit down. I'm going to tell you a story. About your friend, John Rider." HOLY PLOTHOLE TIMELINE PATCHING BATMAN

"John was embedded inside Scorpia for three years." Not the only thing he was embedded in by the sounds of it.

Alex seems to be hallucinating again lol.

Yassen, maybe psychoanalysing your insane boss isn't the safest thing to be doing?

"It's quite mad Julia." Yassen really gives no shits omfg

"I know my place." Yes, at Alex's side.

I like how Julia thought telling Yassen she'd killed John would do anything other than piss him off lol.

Episode 8 - Invisible Sword

"But you do owe me a new fridge." LOLLLLLL

Crawley feeling like a spare part during this lift convo, hahaha

"Smithers, you can do me some kind of tracker, right?" "Yeah, if you promise to keep it on you this time."

Alex is like ohshit I'm gonna die fr

"Not for the agents. They undid their seatbelts." Eyyyyyyyy 👉

Aww they've given him a little baby assassin outfit, how cute.

Where's Yassen, has he just fucked off to the pub?

"For the head of Scorpia, you're a really bad liar."

Laughing at all the other Scorpia agents having to listen to this convo about their boss like we are not paid enough for this shit 😬

"Everyone else is getting what they want, let me have my cereal."

Protecting his boy to the last. Yassen really is purely on Alex's side, we love to see it.🥰

And OMG HE LIVESSSSSSSS 🙌🙌🙌🙌 (I voted yes in that poll, I had faith lol)

Well that was - far more fanservice than I dared hope for, after the meagre pickings we got in the first two series. Yalex supremacy to the motherfucking end, let's go.

[w1zard0foz]

because i’ve committed to this now i guess: rewatching apocalypse:

some thoughts:

SCOTT !!

KURT !! KURT !! KURT !!

THE SUMMERS !!!

JUBILEE !!

everyday i wish jubilee had more screen time

“i think that was probably my favourite tree”

ugh moira (i don’t like moira)

off topic (there is no topic) but erik looks so good with those safety glasses

also he should have just let that guy die tbh

(okay full disclosure i started this like two weeks ago and forgot about it but my mom randomly turned on apocalypse so i guess the universe decided i should finish it- here’s the rest)

“you don’t know what it’s like to be trapped inside your own head!” stfu jean

“not my babies” D: D: D:

poor little guy

ugh moira

oh erik

my baby- he needs a hug :(

(yes i am calling a grown ass man baby, but i am also a grown ass man and i do what i want)

“who the fuck are you?”

unfortunately the only time erik gets to say fuck (he deserves to say it more)

bro brought him back to the camps- he does not want to be thereeeee

PETER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

he feels charles in his mind before he even says anything

“charles..?” </3

“come back to us me”

i know what you are

“wreak havoc” STFU

oop

another absolutely phenomenal scene from peter

“where’s alex?” D: D: D:

“pretty sure i got everybody”

i just know that erik is the one who folded up charles’ jack to make a pillow for him

“i told you from the moment i met you that there is more to you, erik. there is good in you too.”

just fucking tell him you love him smh

“what’s wrong with you?! is that gonna happen to all of us?!?!”

who said these movies weren’t funny?

“he’s my father” “WHAT?!?!”

i’m sorry logan looks so goofy in the movie- i love him

kurt is so cute

“you have charles”

damn right he does

“i’m your- i’m here for my family too”

bro was not being subtle there is no way in hell erik didn’t figure it out

NOOO CHARLES NOT YOUR HAIR !!!

NOOOOOO

PUT IT BACK

if only kurt was a little bit faster </3

erik’s face when he realizes charles was in that plane

ACT III CHERIK EDIT

they should have set it to music

OH MY GOD ITS SO GAY

THE TEAR !! i fucking can’t

erik when peter gets hurt

he so knew

charles does not know that he’s bald

aghh erik!!! ily!!

ugh moira

erik ily but do you really have to be levitating all of the time???

he’s rebuilding charles’ house <3

the turtleneck <3 <3 <3

“you’re sure i can’t convince you to stay?”

“you’re psychic charles, you can convince me to do anything”

“goodbye, old friend”

“good luck professor”

AHHH JUST FUCKING KISS !!

cowards won’t give them comic accurate costumes </3

10/10 very gay

(maybe i do dark pheonix? idk)

[narcissisticpotat0]

Hihi jrwiblr I was talking to the mootie (@vamprreon) and had an idea I wanna run by you. You know how the mha fandom used to call all the people they- stay with me- all the people they shipped deku with the “dekubowl”? STAY WITH ME yk how Chip has that affliction of every female npc finding him disgusting and horrifying- and the NPCs like Caspian and Jazz don’t ever stop flirting with him?

Here’s my suggestion, the people the fandom ships Chip with / the characters that hit in him should be the chipbowl.

COME ON THE PUN IS RIGHT THEREEEEE ok thanks guys ttyl

[lynxfrost13]

hello fellow protektor!!!!

9, 13, 19 for the most recent oc ask for holt and her kobibi..!!

comrade o7💕

Ty for the ask!!

Holt

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Holt definitely gives gentle love more often, partly out of habit from treating patients in the medical ward and due to being a EULR that just comes more naturally to her! She’s not afraid to give tough love to her more stubborn patients though!

She prefers receiving tough love, she appreciates the honesty that comes from it since she’s not a person that likes having things sugarcoated. She also thinks it’s more attractive <3

13. When do they fake a smile? How often?

She has to do it often enough when dealing with patients who need the comfort, she doesn’t want to stress patients out when she knows the outcome already won’t be good and the least she can do is smile and keep her spirits up for them. She puts on a much more pained fake smile when dealing with fellow staff she doesn’t like, especially Sieben (Sieben also hates this bc it’s obvious. They want to throttle each other your honor). Having been on Sierpinski for a while Holt’s had plenty of time to practice it but she’s also a passive aggressive little shit when she wants to be.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding?

Same as she’d do with most folks, start off with some small talk and humor and dance around whatever the reason for her avoidance is until warming up enough to confront them. Holt isn’t really the type to avoid people in the first place since she prefers tackling her problems with people directly.

Fehler/Wanze

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Wanze surprisingly tends to give more gentle love! She’s a sucker for both giving it and receiving it, she loves receiving gentle physical affection (soft kisses, hands petting hair, anything having to do with her face being touched). Before being cut off from her cadre she was known for being clingy (this bug is so touchstarved especially now. Someone cuddle with her now!!!)

13. When do they fake a smile? How often?

Only for the administrator since she had to be present for the appeal preventing her decommission. It was the worst thing she’s ever had to do, Wanze absolutely hates faking how she feels and it’s landed her in trouble so many times. She doesn’t see the use in doing things like that and it unsettles her that other people can just pretend to be nice. Her philosophy in life is that if you don’t like someone you should probably yell at them about it.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding?

She’d just blatantly ignore their existence for as long as possible. She can’t hear themmm they’re not thereeeee

[icallhimjoey]

I need more inevitable sparks omggg how can you leave it thereeeee

yes ok ok ok OK here you go (rewritten 19 nov 2023) Wordcount: 2.9K

Inevitable Sparks

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

The silence in the room was deafening.

Like when you've gone to a concert and try to fall asleep in a silent bedroom afterwards with your ears ringing.

Wesley had slammed the door which had made you flinch, but you hadn't minded it, because it felt a little deserved. You could have just told Wesley the second you saw him that you had Joe over, but you hadn't. You'd tried to communicate it without using words which had backfired in the worst way possible.

You made painful, guilty eye contact with Joe as you stood in the doorway of your living room.

You didn't fully understand, though, if you were honest.

Were you doing something wrong?

Why did it feel like you were doing something wrong?

Guilt was a dirty emotion that could eat you from the inside out if you weren't careful, and you could feel it have a little nibble.

Neither of you knew what to say.

"I don't... I don't know what to do," you said, giving the bottle of wine Wesley had pressed into your hands a glance.

It was your favourite.

Joe's eyes panned from you, to the table, to the ladle he was still holding, to the shrimp that smelled and looked so good. Then he groaned as he squeezed his eyes shut for a second and dropped the ladle into the pan.

"He seemed upset, didn't he?" Joe asked for confirmation, but he knew he was right.

He let a little noise escape his throat; a shallow, muted sort of chuckle, like he only just realised how bad of a friend he’d been.

You shrugged.

Wesley kind of did seem upset, but you felt like you were missing numbers in the equation. You didn't know Wesley like Joe knew Wesley and you hadn't learnt how to read all of him yet.

It was true that he'd walked in on an awkward situation, but was Wesley not the one that had brought you two together?

Had Wesley not introduced you to each other?

Why did you having dinner with Joe have to upset him?

"Fuck," Joe whispered, letting himself fall back into the chair. Joe's eyes scanned the space in front of him once more, and you knew he was calculating what his next move was going to be.

Please stay, you thought.

Joe could meet up with his friend later. After you had, you know, gotten to know each other better.

You could ignore the gnawing inside you for a couple of hours if you tried hard enough.

"Wesley wanted to hang out tonight because I'm leaving the country tomorrow," Joe explained, revealing that the gnawing inside him was probably a lot worse.

He had his head slumped to the side, his ear almost touching his shoulder and his stomach knotted hard with strange pulls of emotions he didn't want to untangle.

"And I was about to say we could, but then... you called."

Ah.

Puzzle pieces slotted together in your mind.

"Shrimp overload," you half explained the situation to yourself and half defended yourself, fighting your cause for needing Joe.

Joe nodded slowly before grimacing.

"Ugh, and I've not seen him in weeks." Joe scolded himself, and you almost felt worse for him than you did for Wesley.

"Wesley's going to be fine," you comforted, knowing it was true.

He would be.

Wesley was a good friend.

And Joe was too, he wasn't a bad friend - couldn't be a bad friend.

The look he gave you explained what Joe felt he needed to do; what motivation he felt that was about to pull him away from you. You inhaled sharply before giving him a small nod.

He could go.

You understood.

"I'm sorry," he apologised as he got up. "I'll call you tonight, all right?" Joe stepped around you and found his shoes where he'd left them and slipped them on.

Just before he was about to step out, he turned and looked at you, still stood there with that bottle of wine in your hands, looking a little lost.

You tried your best to hide all disappointment from your features, and you smiled at Joe, but it was too weak. Too faint. Joe detected it with ease in the slight upturn of your eyebrows and your big round eyes that punched emotion right into his gut.

He sighed defeatedly through his nose and pressed his lips together before taking a step closer to you, grabbing both your arms and pulling you in closer for a kiss to your forehead.

Without much thought, you let your arms find his back and you hugged him tight, pressing the lip of the wine bottle into his shirt.

It was a cute moment, and you could feel Joe inhale you as you did the same, but you hated that this press of his lips to your forehead was all the intimacy you were going to get that night.

You spent the rest of the evening sat at your table, staring at your phone, lazily picking shrimp from the pan and discarding their tails onto Joe's plate as you ate.

You were waiting for a text, or a call, from either Joe or from Wesley.

Surely, they'd talk and then immediately one of them would fill you in, right?

To fill the time you'd called another friend for some distraction, but you had only been able to half listen to them. They didn't know Wesley or Joe, and you didn't want to explain the whole story, so you just talked about random other things. Mostly about things going on in their life. Which was fine. It just wasn't what was on the forefront of your mind right now.

At 10PM you decided to go for a shower, and if Joe still hadn't called you afterwards, you were going to give him a ring.

You'd never showered faster.

You knew there was conditioner left in your hair still, but you had to go check your phone.

Nothing.

Joe still hadn't called, and the rejection you felt in your chest fueled enough adrenaline into your veins for you to call Joe yourself.

So, with dripping wet hair and a heart beating so heavily you could feel it in your throat, you stood naked in your bathroom and waited for the dial tone.

It rang twice, and then...

"Hey, this is Joe, leave a message and I'll try to get back to you,"

Voicemail?!

Joe had never sent you to voicemail before, and you feared maybe he'd gotten into a fight with Wesley.

Over you?

You hoped not.

What if he was still with him now?

You let your finger hover over Wesley's name in your contact list. Would Wesley also send you to voicemail if you called him?

Before you had the chance to find out, you received a text that drained all the colour from your face as you felt something inside your chest splinter.

"Maybe it's best if we stayed friends"

The way nausea hit your system immediately was of great concern to you, because your brain tried to rationalise it all just as quick as heavy emotions found you. Two voices inside of you, one trying to process information and the other trying to protect you at the same time.

Joe hadn't even kissed you.

Yes, he had, but only on your forehead and it was a little sad but also a little romantic.

To an outsider you would have been just friends all this time, anyway.

Friendship's an important building block in a relationship.

Maybe Joe didn't even like shrimp and you'd ruined it before anything had even really begun.

But that would mean Joe'd come over just for you, which somehow felt worse.

You weren't dating.

But you called each other almost every night and would listen to each other as you brushed your teeth.

Or exclusive, for that matter.

The little time Joe had was divided up between Wesley and you, and he hadn't even gotten to see Wesley at all that month - how was Joe going to also be talking to other girls? He couldn't be. For practical reasons alone, he couldn't be.

Nothing had happened.

Yet.

Nothing.

Had.

Happened.

So then, why were you crying?

You decided you wouldn't call Wesley. Whatever had happened in between Joe leaving your flat with soft lips that promised he would call and this text message he'd just sent had obviously something to do with Wesley.

So fuck Wesley.

He could die.

And the next morning, when Wesley posted a story to Instragram of himself peering out the small window of a plane, he could die even more.

So what now?

Wesley was off with Joe on his work trip, and outwardly, you were a little sad. Inside, though, you were big sad, but you also knew how dating worked and these things just happened, didn't they?

Within the solitary space of your own home, you allowed yourself to really feel the big sad, and you forced yourself to sit with your emotions, because you knew that if you didn't, it would creep through and seep out in the most inconvenient of moments.

Like when you'd order a coffee and remembered how Joe thought you liked it with cow's milk, which you absolutely fucking didn't.

Or when you'd had a zoom meeting for work, and remembered how Joe had made you continuously laugh throughout the one that he missed and had gotten yelled at for because rescheduling almost seemed impossible.

Or even when you'd be out food shopping and would come across frozen bags of shrimp in the freezer section.

No.

It was best you let yourself cry for a while. That meant you could get over it faster, and be normal around Wesley when he got back, because after thinking it over a lot, you decided Wesley didn't actually need to die.

He was just a sad friend that got given a nice gesture - that was all.

So after two tear-filled days, when you received a text from Wesley with a silent video of him smoking outside of a restaurant somewhere late at night that panned to Joe and had him pull a stupid face when he noticed he was being filmed, you sent back that you hoped they were enjoying themselves. Because you did.

A few days later, just when you started thinking that maybe by now they might be back from their trip, you got a call from Wesley.

"Hey,"

"Got any plans for tonight?" Wesley didn't even say hi, but went straight for the important stuff.

He had missed you and wanted to hang out.

"I don't," you answered, because who would you be spending your time with these days if not with Joe or with Wesley?

"I was planning on decorating my place for Christmas," you added, peering over at your still empty Christmas tree.

"Are you sure? No other things planned? If I come over I won't walk in on, oh, I don't know, a romantic dinner date? There won't be another man in your flat?" Wesley teased.

It was a bad joke that you thought was meant to ease the uncomfortable thing you hadn't yet talked about.

"Ha, ha," you sarcastically commented, and you heard Wesley snigger.

You couldn't help but feel that Wesley's playful comments were a little misplaced, even if Wesley had meant well, but you were happy to hear his laughter anyway.

"I'll come help. You still have that bottle of wine?"

"Do you... do you know me at all?" you rolled your eyes and let Wesley hear it through your voice. It made him laugh.

"Okay, so I'll bring another bottle, what time do you want me over?"

And that was that.

Wesley was going to come over and bring wine and you were still friends even though Joe didn't want to kiss you anymore.

It was going to be fine.

When you opened the door for Wesley that evening and found his smiling, stupid, smug face holding up two bottles of your favourite wine, you couldn't help but smile back as you let him in.

"There's an empty spot there, still," you commented, stepping back from the Christmas tree as you gave it a once over whilst nursing your glass of wine.

"Yea, well, you're out of baubles," Wesley let himself fall onto your sofa before reaching for his glass, clearly done fidgeting with little wire hooks that kept tangling together.

"No I'm not," you said, pointing at the clear plastic storage tub that held all your Christmas things.

"I'm not letting you hang the glass ones down that low," Wesley said, using the excuse that he was afraid careless shins would knock them out.

You knew he just didn't want to get up again, but Wesley had helped plenty, so for now, the Christmas tree looked decorated enough and you plopped down on the sofa next to him.

All night, the chat between the two of you had been casual, almost like it had been before you'd ever even met Joe. Except Wesley kept nonchalantly mentioning Joe and kept trying to innocently poke fun a little, but you never bit. Instead you didn't react, sang along with a line from a Christmas song that was playing and after a while, Wesley noticed how you ignored every single mention of Joe, changed the subject skillfully, and at one point, even frowned a little. This wasn't the shy blushes, soft giggles and starry eyes he'd gotten used to from you at the mention of Joe.

"How is it... how's it going?" Wesley carefully asked once you were both seated and had proudly looked at your lit up Christmas tree for a moment.

You looked at him to gain how genuine the question was.

"With you and Joe?" Wesley clarified, and you gave him an unappreciative glare.

"Wesley, if you think you're being funny, stop."

"Huh?" Wesley seemed confused, which in turn made you confused, and you just looked at each other with furrowed brows for a second.

"Wait," you narrowed your eyes at Wesley. "Has Joe... has he not said?"

"What..." Wesley's face dropped. "What did he do?" and his voice sounded flat, absolutely anticipating the worst.

How could Joe not have said?

He'd gone after Wesley, obviously they had then talked, and Joe had decided to take Wesley with him half way across the world... that should have left him with plenty of time, opportunity and reason to let Wesley know of the text he'd sent you that night.

You scanned Wesley's face to find if maybe he was joking. But him being out of the loop seemed to add up. It explained all the jokes and comments he'd made throughout the evening. It even explained the video he'd sent you of him and Joe.

You reached for your phone and silently opened your messages, glancing over it at Wesley every couple of seconds to gage if his confusion held up.

Unfortunately, it did.

Upon reading the text, Wesley's timid confusion turned into full force fury. You practically saw someone light a match behind his eyes as he sat up straight and stared at your phone with an expression that read absolute outrage.

"What the fuck?!"

"I figured he would have told you?" you shrugged your shoulders up high and kept them there.

"We-... what?! He sent that before we left?" Wesley grabbed your phone and held it closer to his face, double checking.

"We talked about you every single day!" he exclaimed loudly.

"You did?" to your own dismay, you heard how hopeful you sounded and cringed inwardly at yourself.

The two of you made eye contact, and Wesley's eyebrows knitted together in empathy.

"Well... no, wait... I talk about you all the time," Wesley thought back.

"Joe mostly just... listened, I guess... Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe he sent that," Wesley groaned and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, the secondhand embarrassment almost too much for him to bear.

"You talked about me and Joe didn't think to maybe tell you that he wants us to just be friends?" you needed Wesley to clarify it for you, to say it out loud, because it seemed too bizarre to be true.

Wesley stared into the empty space in front of him, seemingly lost in thought and he ignored your question until he placed his glass of wine on the table and abruptly got up.

"I'm going to murder him." Wesley made his way to where he had left his shoes.

"Wesley," you pleaded.

"Will you help?" he slipped into his shoes, not bothering with the laces but simply tucking them into the sides.

"Wesley," you said again. "These things happen! It's fine! I cried for two days, and now I'm over it!" you tried to make yourself believe it as much as you tried to convince Wesley. But mentioning that you'd cried over Joe, only fueled the fire within Wesley more.

"Joe's a dead man." He took his coat from where he'd thrown it over the back of a chair and slung his arms into it. "Dead. Deceased. Perished. Gone."

"You're drunk, maybe, let's not-"

"I'll see you later."

"Wes!"

And whereas you thought he slammed your door loudly the last time he'd walked out, it seemed almost sensible compared to the slam you heard upon his leaving now. It nearly pulled the door from its hinges.

"Shit."

-----

The Taglisted: 

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[houseofcucci]

You look fucking amazing 🦝

Whats been your kinkiest moment?

Ahaha thank you! Is that a raccoon ahaha. How’d he get in thereeeee 🥹

My first ex had a sex swing in his garage I think that was pretty out there considering our ages 🤣 I’ve been pretty vanilla ever since mind you

[n3onstarss]

Going through something i don't want to again, so here's a lil comfort fic for myself because fuck it it's my writing.

Rottmnt Leo x reader

tw for mentions/the results of abuse (child, animal and marital), divorce, past self harm and current self harming, running away and anything similar that may fit under any of these umbrellas

sorry for the silverfish detour, i can't bring myself to get rid of it and i feel like showing how protective she can be , even against it's friends, kinda showcases how they were raised and his trauma too.

They/He/She/It pronouns for reader

---

So much was happening. Everything was wrong. I had only just returned to the house from an impromptu and anxiety filled car ride, Wendy's lemonade in hand, and already I wanted to leave again. Even just looking around the house and seeing the impacts of things gone wrong, the dents in the dog kennel from months ago and the items scattered about and abandoned, made me realize how fucked this was. I wanted out, I wanted to go find my boyfriend and let it all out to him, but I didn't want to leave my siblings or my dog or my mom behind.

But, Mom was used to me leaving without telling her by now, and if i took my sisters and the dog I'd get accused of running away again. So i left without them. The only things missing from the house were myself, my phone, and a small overnight bag. I hadnt bothered to pack a new one, just grabbing the same one I'd had in the car earlier. I left a small and frankly sloppy note on the counter that read; "Hi Mom!! sorry for such short notice, I'm gonna spend the night at April's! i would've told you earlier, but i forgot sorry! I'll be back tomorrow! call or text me when you read this and/or want updates! love you!! -[NAME]"

And with that I was out of the house. Once i started walking and realized just how quiet it was, i pulled my backpack off one shoulder and slid it under my wing so i could open it and grab my headphones. The Bluetooth headphones connected automatically and i opened Spotify to turn on Dateline. While I had my phone out, I texted Leo.

🪿[NAME]; Heyyy! would it be cool if i hung out at yours for the night?

Baby Blue 💙✨; Ofc dude!! why, couldn't stay away? 😎

🪿 [NAME]: you're so stupid 💙 but sure :) some shit came up is all. is it cool if I meet you outside the usual manhole in, like, 20 i think?

Baby Blue 💙✨; Yep! meet you thereeeee~ 💙

I turned my phone off and continued my walk. As I navigated NYC I was grateful people had more or less accepted mutants and non-humans, but couldn't help but let my mind wander to my sisters, my dog and my mom. were they okay?.. they should be, he wouldn't try shit after all that. ..but I'll text once i get to the lair. just to be safe.

I was about halfway to the lair, now that I thought about it. Our little apartment wasn't very far if you knew how to get there. I glanced around to see if anyone was nearby before backing into the alley. Once i was safely within the shadows I turned around, only to see some weird looking things in the trash. I jumped back a little, wings flared. I'd been warned about them before, but now that I see them up close the little guys are actually kinda cute. I set my bag and lemonade down slowly as i kneel, dragging my bag to face me. That caught the little buggers attention, and they all turned and hissed or glared at me. I held eye contact as I reached into the bag and withdrew some beef jerky that I'd packed in a panic earlier. I can't explain why beef jerky, but it was nearby so it went in the bag.

As the jerky bag crinkled loudly most of the little things cocked their heads, while a few even moved forwards curiously. I took out a larger piece and held it out in my palm, an offering of sorts, as i counted. there were about 9 of them. Most stopped moving, but one little one leaned forwards precariously and nipped it up between it's teeth, yanking it away and chowing down immediately. Without warning I was swarmed by them, chirping and running circles or hopping around me. They reminded me of oversized compys! i kept feeding the little guys until the bag was nearly empty, chuckling at their antics. I had been watching two play wrestle when the manhole cover screeched and slid away from it's resting place. All of the little guys scattered, except the two who had been play wrestling. The two had darted and cowered behind my back. My arms went out and my wings fluffed out to protect them and i hissed, only to find it was Donnie.

"I told you he was fine, Leo. She's right here." and with that the four scrambled out of the sewers.

"Hwhats up?" I was caught off guard a bit, but didn't have time to process.

"[NAMEEEEEEE]!" Leo practically launched himself at me, knocking me backwards in the process. The little guys had managed to scramble away in time, but were also spotted.

In the blink of an eye the four were on their feet in battle stances with their weapons drawn. The little things ran behind me again, and I took up a defensive crouching pose.

"[NAME], back away from the silverfish very.. slowly.." Raph piped up, he used his hands to try and motion me towards the group, but i didn't budge.

"[NAME], honey, baby, love of my life," those words got a resounding chorus of groans and gags from his brothers, "please move away from the silverfish?" I shook my head, a shrill hiss trying to make itself heard.

"Oh. mi gosh. did you find Silverfish! you know they're enemies right? pleasee tell me youre not attached?" Mikey finally jumped in, catching a glance at the little silverfish as he clambered up o to Raphs shoulder.

It wasn't long before the four realized I had gotten attached and wasn't going to let them get near the little guys with their weapons. Mikey was the first to give in, placing his kasari-fundo on the ground before jogging over to play with the little guys. Raph broke not long after, if only to protect Mikey, placing his tonfas in his belt and leaving me in a standoff with Donnie, the most stubborn turtle i know, and Leo, who preferred to win (which also made him the most stubborn turtle i know).

Eventually Mikey convinced them to calm down, and both relented, meandering over to look down at the little guys. I did have to see the little guys off, they couldn't come into the lair, but Mikey gave me two stickers to put on them. We dubbed them Pancakes and Thunder, after the stickers they received. both were sent off with the very last pieces of jerky and a hug. After they left I picked myself up, waved at them, and grabbed my lemonade and bag.

We made it into the lair and as soon as I had kicked off my shoes I got a call from my Mom.

"I gotta take this, I'll be right back! ..?" I spoke, awkwardly backing away as I waited for permission. Leo turned towards me and shot a quizzical look, but someone else spoke up first.

"Okay! Let us know if anything comes up!" One of them said. I think it was Raph, but I'm unsure as I turn tail and jog down the hall towards their bathroom, breaking into a full sprint and holding my wings close as my ringtone continues to chime.

I swing myself inside, narrowly avoiding slipping, falling and spilling my lemonade, flick on the light and lock the door as I throw my back against the wall, the contents of my bag digging uncomfortably into my spine and wings. I pick up the phone, clearing my throat before I speak.

"Hi Momma! what's up?" I try to keep my tone cheery and light so i don't stress her out more, swirling my lemonade in its cup as both a stim and a background noise.

"Oh nothing much. I saw your note though, tell April I said hi."

"Will do!-"

"Also, we've decided against getting a divorce." rage and sadness both reared their ugly heads, but I could deal with them later.

"WH-"

"It's his last chance. I don't want to go through that again if I can help it."

"Okay..? Is everyone okay?" I ask, tears forming and frustration leaking through and yet still masking it as best I can.

"Yes, everyone is fine. Ive got to go and finish some work stuff. Tell April and her parents I said hello and be safe, okay?"

"okay.. goodnight Mom, love you!" the defeat was audible, but she didn't pick up on it. she never did.

"love you too." the words lacked emotion or sincerity, a simple reply to placate her kid.

The click of a call ending seemed to echo through the bathroom as the waterworks started. The phone was slowly lowered as the first sob tore through me. I forced myself towards the bathroom counter to put my phone and lemonade down and made the mistake of looking in the mirror. I was a mess with a capital M. my crying had dragged my mascara a little and my feathers were a mess. I let the bag fall off my shoulders onto the floor with a dull thump and I stood for a moment more before beginning a sluggish path. I turned the light off and the little LED puck lights on. For someone who hated the color pink growing up, it was comforting and soft right now. So there I stood. in the bathroom in the dark and illuminated by only dim pink LEDs. I grabbed my phone again and plopped down inside the dry shower tub, pulling the curtain closed and resting my head back against the cold tile. it was surprisingly comforting to be in the small, confined, dim space. I made myself move one last time, shooting a text to the GC to let them know that I'd said I'd be at April's tonight and that I just needed a bit.

🪿 Bites people; Hey sorry, shit came up. I told my Mom I'd be at Apes, sorry. I need a minute but I'll be out soon. sorry!

R.A.P.H.; oksy! don't sweat it littke dude, we got it xovered!

🪿 Bites people; Raph I will bite you if you call me little. (lighthearted)

M.C. Angelo; yeah yeah, whateves [NAME]! Take your time :3

Mr. Machines; Cool. be safe.

Apes ⚾; Kay kay! I'll tell my parents you stopped by! I'm on my way rn, does anybody need anything?

R.A.P.H.; not tgat i can thimk of, no!

M.C. Angelo; OO!! marinara sauce! please!

Mr. Machines; Uranium. (Joking.)

Apes ⚾; Cool! on my way!

... Fearless Leader is typing...

I turn my phone back off and lean against the wall for another moment. The silence is too loud, it only gets louder as time goes on. Until eventually it's so loud I relent and open Spotify yet again. I disconnect the headphones around my neck and turn on a comfort podcast, Murder in America. The voices of the two hosts greet the audience as they begin to discuss.

As the podcast continues however, I can practically feel the murder talk adding to my anxiety. I can always tell im anxious when my thoughts turn to all the ways someone could die, and this only serves to make it worse. So, the podcast gets turned off and a playlist starts instead. Rises the Moon is the first song, but it doesnt feel right. I skip through until I find Sometimes, a song I've cried to many times before and one that just feels fitting. I get through two or three loops of the quiet song before an urge to scratch hits me. And of course I'm the idiot who can't move and left their bandages in their bag, so i can't protect my hand and still get the satisfaction. I stave off the urge to hurt for as long as I can, which is really short actually, as the events of tonight and my mother's call and all these possibilities and self deprecating thoughts and last events swirl around my brain, only adding to everything.

I start to scratch the back of my hand. Just one spot. over and over and over and over and over and over. I don't realize I'm doing it until the telltale sting of scratching too deep and the hot wet blood begins to bubble up a little at a time. None of it is life threatening, just a way to feel pain, but I'm still disappointed in myself and scared of what Leo will think.

God I'm pathetic. Can't handle a third divorce even though I'm a fucking teenager. Couldn't even go one fucking week without fucking up your hand, could you? no. cause you're that fucking stupid. you're lucky as shit nobody's come looking yet. what would they think, huh? realize how pathetic and weak and fucking stupid you are and leave. because why keep a weak link that'll only cause them problems. God someone could come in here and murder you right fucking now and maybe 3 people tops would actually care.

I glare through the tears at my left hand and wrist, littered in dark scars and a few scabs. The anger at myself, at my step father, at the world wats at me as i continue, finding a patch that's undisturbed and picking away. soon there are even more new wounds, some overlaying old ones. I freeze when I hear the door handle jiggle. My hiccups become silent and I shake like a leaf, terrified like a child caught in the act and awaiting punishment. I scramble to pause my music and sit quietly, hoping whoever it is leaves.

A single knock sounds, then three more in rapid succession, and a final single knock. It's a pattern. Our pattern.

The lock clicks and the door slowly creaks open, yellow light flooding the once dim room. through the shower curtain I can see a silhouette of Leo move through the bathroom.

He steps in near silently, and then closes the door behind him as he steps into the room at large. It's dimmer now, so his silhouette is blurry and hard to make out, but I can see him set something down in the counter as he makes his way towards where I'm hiding. I try to stay quiet and see if he'll leave, but his senses are much better than mine and where would I even go?

My thoughts screech to a halt as his hand slowly pulls the curtains aside. When i subconsciously bare my teeth and hiss, he isn't scared at all.

"hey, hey.. it's just me, okay?.. it's just me.." his voice is soft and quiet, as if he's coaxing a wild animal. which is a little funny, considering the fact that my contact is 'bites people'.

His hands slowly move to cup my face, and I snap my teeth at his fingers. He yanks back a little and I realize what I'm doing. This only causes me to sink in on myself more, curling in and leaning away.

"Eugh boy, this is a nasty one huh?.. That's okay, we'll get through this.. Is it a touch or no touch typa day?" He holds his hands forwards again, but isn't reaching for me in a way that would make me feel threatened. I lean towards his outstretched hands and he takes it as an a-okay to touch.

"Okay, hup we go" and without warning he scoops me up from under my arms and maneuvers so that he's sitting longways in the tub and I'm between his legs, wings to his plastron. I tense up at the sudden movements and new position, but roll myself over and practically melt into his plastron. His hand gently runs through my hair and the other plays with my feathers.

"There ya go.. do you wanna talk about it?" And just like that the waterworks and rage boil up again.

I spend what feels like eternity but is probably only 30 minutes rambling about everything that's happened and how much I hate my stepfathers guts and everything in between. Somehow none of this scares Leo away. Not the small blood smears every time I wipe my tears with my left hand, not my sobbing and whisper yelling and voice cracks, not my occasional angry screams into my sleeve or his plastron, not my wings fluffing or flapping slightly, none of it. He sits there and doesn't seem phased by any of this.He doesn't leave, he doesnt yell, he doesn't tell me to suck it up or patronize me, none of that. It's a shock, and it only makes me cry more.

When the tears finally die down and the exhaustion hits, Leo pulls out his phone and texts the GC. I grab my phone when it goes off, just in case it's my mom, and see everything that's happened this far.

Fearless Leader; Hey [NAME], are you okay?

Fearless Leader; [NAME]?

Apes ⚾; Is everything okay?

Fearless Leader; I don't know.

R.A.P.H.; Do you nred any jelp Lee??

Fearless Leader; Im good without help, thanks Red. Does anyone know where [NAME] went?

M.C. Angelo; Uhhhhhhm I think I saw them go towards the bathroom? i don't know, sorry-

Mr. Machines; Can confirm, Motion detector picked up movement near the bathroom not long after they left.

Fearless Leader; Thanks guys, I'll be back

Fearless Leader; Found him! We're all good over here now I think. We've got some cleanup to do and then we'll go from there

Apes ⚾; okay! I hope she's feeling better!

M.C. Angelo; I hope so too :(

I put my phone back down, resting my forehead on Leo's plastron again as I started to shake.

"Woah woah woah, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Leo seemed a little panicked, unsure in his actions.

"'m good.." I didn't sound very confident in my answer.

"Just a lot?"

"Mhm"

"Do you wanna stay here or clean up and go somewhere else?"

My mouth feels glued shut so I hold up 2 fingers.

I lift myself up on wobbly and weak arms and step out of the tub, Leo following close behind. I turn the light on, only to slam it back off again.

".. Sorry."

"Nope, don't be sorry. Too bright?"

"Mhm.. sorry."

"You're fine babe. I mean, you've been in the dark crying for a while, your eyes are gonna be sensitive dingus."

"Okay.."

Instead of turning the light on, Leo took the remote for the LEDs and turned them up to be just a bit brighter. With the lights brighter I could see just how bad it was. There was a healthy few streaks of blood on the left side of my face and fucked up mascara trails everywhere. My hair looked like a pigeon decided to tear it up and the icing on the cake was how disheveled my wings had gotten. When i turned to look at Leo and laugh at how dumb I looked I saw just how bad he looked too. He had a few tear trails as well and a big old splotch of mascara and blood and tears all over his chest.

"Oh geez-" was all I got out before giggles replaced old sobs.

Leo looked down at his plastron and began to cackle too. Once we both calmed down again we began the cleanup process. According to Leo, the first thing to do was bandage my hand. He grimaced as he applied the bandages, but didn't say anything. We ended up just scrubbing each other down and I let him brush through my hair. It turns out the thing he set down outside the shower was one of his oversized Jupiter Jim hoodies. Infact, it was a hoodie with Jupiter Jim's copilot on it. I can't recall her name right now, but that's okay. As he hands me the hoodie I can see that he had his matching Jupiter Jim hoodie stacked underneath. I took my shirt off before sliding the hoodie over my head. There weren't any wing holes, so I kept them tucked neatly inside.

With both of us changed and cleaned up we finally left the bathroom. The rest of the family had been knee deep in a Jupiter Jim marathon when we arrived, and thankfully didn't make a big deal out of it. I sat in Leo's lap in the back of the group, trying to keep my wings out of the way, with April and Donnie laying next to each other on the floor and making fun of mistakes in the movies. Raph was sat next to Splinters chair with his Dad's hand on his head and his tail swishing idly. Mikey had been getting popcorn, and when he came back he plopped down and leaned his back against Leo and I's sides.

Everyone began to doze off after about the third or fourth movie, dropping like flies while Jupiter Jim handled a mission with Argemennon. Everything might not be okay, but that was out there. In here, it was safe and warm and comfortable.

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Ty for reading and sorry for trauma dumping and projection in the form of hurt/comfort fics. the wing thing is related to phantom limbs i have to deal with a lot.

here's the song;